Manoukian

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Nellie Manoukian
Professor Jon Beadle
English 115
25 September 2016
How We Become What Society Makes of Us
Since the moment we take our first breath of life, and even before, when we are only a
mere image in our parents mind, many guidelines are already set in place for us as individuals.
These rules are usually applied based on our sex, and are accepted by everyone without much
questioning. When initially given life, we are ignorant to these boundaries, but as life begins to
blossom, so does our gender. In the articles, Becoming Members of Society: The Social
Meanings of Gender, Rethinking Womens Biology, and Women, Men, and Society, the
authors argue that the gender one identifies them selves as is partly because of what is conceived
through observations, experiences, and/or interactions from ones social surroundings as
normal, in hopes of inducing modification in society. Relating to this idea of gender
correlating with society personally, I now understand my own experiences and the way I was
raised to view myself.
In society, men are nurtured to certain expectations, limits, and quite frankly, a way of
living. To the eyes of society, men are viewed as superior to women. This has held true for
almost all of time, and is still evident in todays day and age. In Becoming Members of
Society: The Social Meaning of Gender, Aaron Devor breaks down the masculinity of males in
society, stating, The patriarchal gender schema currently in use in mainstream North American
society reserves highly valued attributes for males and actively supports the high evaluation of
any characteristics which might inadvertently become associated with maleness. The ideology

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which the schema grows out of postulates that the cultural superiority toward aggression and
dominance, which is assumed to flow inevitably from evolutionary and biological sources
(Devor 40). Because women were seen as fragile beings made to prepare meals and birth
children, the males were the ones who took on the more physical jobs in their own hands with
the idea that women could not do hands on, dirty work. Due to these manly jobs, men were
anticipated to be tough, strong, intelligent, and stable. Acting in any way feminine would
create uproar in society. Even today, when society feels confident that they have strayed away
from this way of thinking, quizzical looks are still distinctly shown at men who do not portray
these characteristics. In my family, the men are the ones who are the head of each household and
direct most everything in a family. As a child, I was to respect my male cousins when playing
together. I would end up tagging along in basketball and running around in my backyard,
because I somehow accepted that playing inside with my dolls or role-playing together instead
would not be right.
In contrast to men, women have a separate set of walls confining them in a different set
of space. This space is filled with an air of polite, motherly, loving, soft, vulnerable, and quiet
feel a feminine feel. Women are expected to ensure all these characteristics, which, like
masculinity, are continually passed down. However, like many feminists, Ruth Hubbard views
women in society differently, arguing, womens reputed maternal instinct needs to be
looked at in light of some womens desperate efforts to avoid having children while society
persuades or forces them to have children against their wills (Hubbard 49-50). If woman do not
grow to tend to their man and help reproduce, they are seen as going against societal norms.
As a woman, I was raised to act in ways that are appropriate. My parents would, and still do,

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praise me when I help my mother prepare the food and clean up the house. Since I observed my
mother take on these responsibilities all my life, I assumed her position.
It is evident that men and women have very different expectations from society. More
often than not, these expectations are grasped by the people, but the question is how are people
learning and growing to act in these mentioned ways? Well, it all starts off just as we begin, a
microscopic particle (or in this case idea) that multiplies and multiplies into a member of society.
In Women, Men and Society, Claire Renzetti and Daniel Curren report how newborn children
are treated differently, arguing although there are few physical or behavioral differences
between males and females at birth, parents tend to respond differently to newborns on the basis
of sex. They go on to state, parents associate their childs sex with specific personality and
behavioral traits its further evidenced by the effort they put into ensuring that others identify
their childs sex correctly (Renzetti and Curran 76-77). Soon after discovering the sex of their
unborn child, parents begin to prepare for their bundle of joy by buying them clothes, toys, and
books that relate to the babys sex. The nursery will be painted a certain color, and the furnishing
will have correlation to its sex. I have seen this play out with my own eyes when my aunt gave
birth to my cousin over the summer. My cousins clothes are mainly blue or red and many have
wording or a picture that portrays a masculine theme. Interestingly enough, the hospital had
provided a hat that had blue and pink stripes, possibly to create a neutral standpoint showing that
society is beginning to slowly evolve its views, just as these authors are pushing for.
Not only are physical objects attributes to how we become the gender that we do, but
also the interactions as we grow carve out our being. Even when one believes that they are not
being biased towards their children, research shows something quite different. One study found
that, adults tended to respond to boys when they forced attention by being aggressive, or by

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crying, whining, and screaming, whereas similar attempts by girls were usually ignored. Instead,
adults were responsive to girls when they used gestures or gentle touching, or when they simply
talked. Significantly, when Fagot and her colleagues observed these same children just eleven
months later, they saw clear sex differences in their styles of communication; boys were more
assertive, whereas girls were more talkative (Renzetti and Curran 78). Parents communicate
with their children in the way that they would want them to communicate with others. For boys,
less emotion and touch is provided, while for girls there is less aggression and distance shown in
communication.
Gender is a complex concept that can be difficult to appreciate. As we are born, we are
destined to be transformed into a new person, or rather, into just another piece of a collection.
We feel as if we are our own individuals thinking, speaking, and believing in our own
special ways. In reality, the thoughts, words, and faith that we emit are what are left after they
pass through societys filter. Although we have taken on a new viewing of gender, not much has
shaken societys boundaries. In fact, families like mine do not dare to question these boundaries
of men and women. But I stand here with a question: would we still be the people we are at this
moment if society hadnt tainted our beings? Would I still be me?

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Works Cited
Devor, Aaron. Becoming Members of Society: The Social Meanings of Gender. Composing
Gender, Rachael Groner and John F. OHara, 2014, pp.40.
Hubbard, Ruth. Rethinking Womens Biology. Composing Gender, Rachel Groner and John F.
OHara, 2014, pp. 49-50.
Renzetti, Claire and Curran, Daniel. From Women, Men, and Society. Composing Gender,
Rachael Groner and John F. OHara, 2014, pp. 76-78.