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In the field, Brad P. is the best that I have seen ....Using Brad's material,
I got 3 e-mails and 2 of those came with phone numbers. When you
average 1 phone number a month, getting that much in a single night is a
windfall. -GreyGoose, Student
First and foremost Brad is the real deal, he understands and is able to
use pick up/seduction techniques. I watched him open a girl and 30
seconds later he was making out with her in a hallway. Brad is really good
at pinpointing where someones game is and giving them openers to use
to develop from that point. -41, Student
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Brad P is one of the best dating coaches around, a true original. He was
the first person I went out on a mission with and was the one who got me
going on pickup in the first place. - Eric M., Former Student
I have great respect for Brad P., I think he is probably the most qualified
person to teach in the whole community. Bar none. It's weird though, a
book on openers, cos' that's one thing the community has no shortage of
really, but on the other hand these are Brad P. openers, and he is having
sex ALL the fucking time, so perhaps they are worth paying a little bit
more attention to. -Goose, Student
I have field tested Brad's shocker openers, of which Horse girl is one, and
I can tell you they work. It is easy to create your own shocker openers
and that keeps things interesting. -Equal, Student
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Table of Contents
PART I: THE PREMISE.............................................................................................. 5
Chapter 1 - Introduction........................................................................................ 5
PART II: FEMALE PSYCHOLOGY.................................................................................. 9
Chapter 2 Female Psychology 101 ....................................................................... 9
Chapter 3- The Slut Factor................................................................................... 10
Chapter 4 The 5 Categories............................................................................... 20
PART II: THE PLAN................................................................................................. 46
Chapter 5 Pre-Game......................................................................................... 46
PART III: TALKING A GOOD GAME............................................................................ 74
Chapter 8 Conversation & Humor ...................................................................... 74
Chapter 9 Special Situations ............................................................................. 90
PART IV: WRAP UP................................................................................................. 98
Chapter 10 - Final Points...................................................................................... 98
Chapter 11 - Where I Learned This Stuff............................................................... 100
Frequently Asked Questions:.............................................................................. 101
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The good news? I suffered through these nightmare dinner dates so that you never have
to. I learned my lessons, and now Im going to share them with you, so listen up:
Dinner dates are the worst way to begin with a new
woman. From now on, they are absolutely off limits, at
least until after youve slept with the woman youre
interested in. Until then, pretend you dont eat dinner
anymore. Save dinner dates for times you need to
impress your coworkers, or better yet, for celebrating
your twentieth wedding anniversary.
In fact, just using the word "date" puts you at a distinct
disadvantage with women. From now on, you'll arrange
times to "hang out" or make plans to "meet up" with
the women you approach. Do not say the word date.
No more: Would you like to go out on a date with me?
You are done asking women for dates.
Youre wondering, Well whats the difference between
going on a date and "hanging out"? The words
hanging out suggest a relaxed and casual situation.
Its what you do with your friends, right? This does two things immediately. It gives her a
chance to win YOU over (rather than the other way around), and it subverts any
expectations she has of going on a high-pressure traditional dinner date.
Casual and fun is what hanging out implies, and you are striving to create that feeling with
these women. But unlike hanging out with people youve known for years, hanging out
with all the hot girls you approach is not going to go smoothly unless you make an effort to
take charge of the situation. Especially in the beginning, when you dont know a lot about
her likes and dislikes, the best strategy is for you to plan out the time in advance. I know
that sounds like a contradiction. If you dont know a woman, how can you make a great
plan without her input? One of the biggest secrets to dealing with women is that pandering
to all their likes and dislikes doesnt make for good seduction. It makes for good husband
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Sound easy? It's not. Chances are you will need to make major adjustments in the way
you view dating before you can jump beyond your current success rates. In the next 80
pages, I'm going to tell you secrets few men have ever heard, some things women never
ever want you to read about, and lots and lots of other things I've discovered by going on
hundreds of dates and analyzing the outcome over the course of many years.
Dates are not like opening a fortune cookie. They aren't amazing or horrible because the
universe wanted them to be. They go well when you make them go well. My book is going
to teach you how to plan a successful meet-up all the way from your first phone call to the
morning after. Just like you learned with your approaches, there are concrete steps you
can follow. (Lost on approaching? Check out Seminar 1 or the Instant Attraction eBook.)
The steps themselves arent hard to understand, but it will take time and effort to make
them a part of your game. At first, you might feel awkward, but I promise you, the more
you practice these steps , the sooner they will stop feeling strange and the more success
you will have with them. Eventually the new techniques become second nature. Then
youll start adding steps of your own, and thats what will ultimately make you unique and
fascinating to the women you attract.
Got all that? You will. Lets begin.
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Forget the fact that your date showed up in stilettos and a barely-legal length of skirt.
Forget that she's sucking her martini straw in the way that just makes you want to grab her
hand and pull her into the men's room. Forget her sexy laugh, her winks, and all the sly
comments she's making. To her, none of that means she's trying to be a slut. She's being
sexy. She's being a woman. Shes acting the way movies, books and television tell her she
should to be desired by men. But the moment that girl, or any girl, feels like you see her
as a slut, all her sexiness will dry up. Her legs will cross, her face will turn to stone, and
neither one of you will be any having fun at all.
Now for the confusing part: Girls like sex. Girls love sex. They like being close to men.
They like being touched. Most girls even like being f*cked, if they were being honest.
Most men are brought up to believe that there are only two kinds of women in the world-nice girls and sluts. They think any woman who actually wants sex must fall into the slut
category. The problem with this thinking is that all women have both sides to them to
some degree: the nice girl side and the slutty side. Even the nicest nice girls have
secret fantasies about dirty sexual acts. Even the sluttiest looking girls have a hidden
sweet and shy side if you really get to know them. As men, our narrow-minded view of
women prevents us from understanding this dichotomy. But without acknowledging this
complexity, you limit your ability to unlock the Slut Cage.
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Its like this: women live in a perpetual state of tension between wanting to be good and
wanting to be sexy. They think they have to be sexy to get our attention but good to hold
onto it long enough to get married. This tension is part of what attracts us to women. We
experience the urge to push them back and
forth between the two categories. When
shes being so good and serious (think of
the hot librarian), all we want to do is
distract her and turn her on until shes
drooling for it. And once shes begging, we
almost want to kiss her forehead and tell
her to be good and wait for it. Its this
tension that creates much of the
excitement of dating and relationships, but
few men understand this on an explicit
level.
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men for a short while, the truth is she doesn't have much social worth to them either.
Shes never the girl you bring home to Mom.
2) Women use the vague possibility of sex to get and keep power in a relationship. This
happens in all aspects of life, not just dating. The harder it appears to get sexual
favors from a woman, the more men will want them. The more men want from her,
the more power she has over them. Playing hard to get is POWER. Men will bend
over backwards to please a woman if they want the sex she is holding back. Women
stand to gain more than just social standing by holding off on sex--they can obtain
promotions at work, preferential treatment at clubs, free jewelry or drinks, even love
or vast sums of money. . .the list goes on and on. If a woman gives away sex too
easily, she gives away that power, too.
It's important to remember that, for women, being a slut is not the same thing as engaging
in slutty behavior. Given the opportunity, in a safe non-judgmental environment, girls love
to play sex games. They enjoy being spanked and doing other things they think of as dirty.
Partly, its the good girl/bad girl tension that makes these games so enjoyable for them.
But they need to know that their behavior behind the bedroom door will not cause them
embarrassment or a lowered social value outside of the bedroom.
How do you make sure your date feels safe to be sexually liberated?
There are lots of ways. The first and most important is to take the lead and don't let it
drop, even for a moment. When women become indecisive, they start to rethink all the
choices they've been making. The choice to meet up with you, the choice to wear that
revealing dress, the choice to come back to your apartmenthell, they may start to regret
kissing Bobby Chester on the playground in sixth grade! In women, indecision is often
followed by panic, and that panic will send her straight for the door.
You may be wondering, What's the big deal about taking the lead? Why can't the woman
decide where to go for once? Taking the lead does not feel natural to women. It feels
more natural for them to follow the lead, but only if its with someone they trust or
someone that they are attracted to. She may be perfectly happy to take the lead on
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projects at work, or with her group of friends, but when on a date, never. She does not
want the pressure of choosing, then being held responsible if you do not have a good time.
The last issue is that a woman is extremely unlikely to plan a date that leads to or ends
with sex. Planning things around the possibility of sex is behavior associated with men and
prostitutes. The risk of negative repercussions is just too daunting for most women.
Because she is unlikely to take the necessary steps toward having sex, she needs you to
take the lead.
That's the only chance she has of getting laid without being
considered a slut, and she knows it. If you take the lead and sex
occurs, she can look at is as something that "just happened."
Once you've effectively taken the lead, the next thing to keep in mind is displaying a nonjudgmental, comfortable attitude about sex. You must show that you are a sexually
comfortable person. Not needy. Not in a rush. Totally in control of the way you touch her.
Totally in control of your sexual urges, but never ashamed of your sexuality. If the subject
of sex comes up, you must indirectly communicate that you believe it is a normal, healthy,
exciting part of life. Specifically:
1) Never talk badly about your ex or imply that your ex was a slut.
2) If she gives you hints that she is a sexually active person, treat it
as a very normal thing. Do not act shocked or judgmental.
3) Show insider knowledge of women's secret sexual lives. You can
do this through storytelling, for example:
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"My old roommate just broke up with her boyfriend and she's in this,
kind of....partying phase right now. She was telling me about a few
of the guys she's been dating and a few she's slept with, and it
seems like it's been really good for her to get out and have some
fun for once. She was just staying in all the time before, totally
bored with her boyfriend. She seems a lot happier now."
Notice how I just glossed over the fact that this girl is sleeping around and presented it as a
normal phase that women go through. This may seem like a very subtle point, but women
will pick up on it. The fact of the matter is, most young women today go through a cycle of
sexual exclusivity followed by sexual variety.
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Have a look at this diagram, which explains the various sociosexual phases that women go
through:
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If you can communicate that you understand this pattern in subtle ways, you let a woman
know that it's OK to be sexual with you. There wont be any negative repercussions if she
does. She understands that you're not going to tell everyone about it, and you're not going
to start calling her five times a day professing your undying love. It shows her that you
know having sex is a normal thing single people do.
Keep in mind that these 2 nightmare scenarios have probably happened to her or
someone she knows.
By telling a story like the one I mentioned earlier, you communicate to her that
sleeping with you would not result in either of these nightmare scenarios.
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If the Slut topic comes up in conversation (and she will make sure it does), here's the
rules:
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losing social standing. The slut factor is a ticking time bomb that must be carefully defused
if you want to reach your goal. Tread smart and tread lightly.
Women live in a constant state of struggle and sexual tension. They want to
be sexy, but they don't want to be slutty. They want to be bad, but they
want to be good.
Being viewed as a slut has serious consequences.
If you take the lead, she does not feel responsible for her decisions and
behaviors. Therefore, she could not possibly be a slut.
Normal women go through a cycle of sexual exclusivity followed by sexual
variety. This is not a well known fact, and most women will not freely admit
to it unless you first show that you already know about it.
Never join into an anti-slut tirade. Just change the topic when you can.
An anti-slut tirade is a sign the woman is interested in you.
Next Up- Learning about the 5 categories she puts all men into will help you make wise
decisions planning the date and help you make adjustments on the fly during the date.
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Creepy
First category: "Creepy." That's right, as in,
"Ewww, that guy was so creepy!" You need
to avoid this category at all costs. Once a
girl finds you creepy, hears you are creepy
from her friends, or even sees you hanging
around with another guy she finds creepy,
you're done. Game over.
Universally, women use the word "creepy"
to describe men they aren't interested in. A
strong emotional response is attached to the
word creepy. There's an intense physical
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response that comes along with creepya kind recoiling. Ever accidentally stepped in
vomit on the street? Yeah. That reaction.
Who makes up this category? Guys with bad timing. Guys with bad breath. Guys who
invade personal space. Guys who are too silent, too affectionate, too anything too soon in
the approach or initial meeting-up stages. Women trust their intuition, and once a woman
finds you creepy, she will lock up faster than a bar at last call.
Two big mistakes that creepy guys make are: being physical without the proper amount of
attraction and showing neediness too early in a relationship (worst of all, on a first date!).
Confused? OK, imagine youre on a first date, and the woman you just met last week leans
over and whispers in your ear, "I really like you. I think I want to hang out all the time.
You wont ever leave me, will you?" Creepy, right?
That's exactly how a woman feels when she hears the same kind of talk from a man.
Whats worse, women are experts at spotting creepy signs a hundred times more subtle
than the scene I just laid out. In fact, if most women tried to tell you exactly why they
found some guy creepy, you'd be listening to a never-ending list of examples, such as the
way he held his drink, the way he scratched his neck, or the exact grip he used when he
took her by the hand. Sounds crazy, because it is crazy.
A women gets the creepy vibe when the man approaching her has weak, uncertain, or
confused energyif he is too desperate for her attention, if he approaches her as if he
knows she has higher social value than he does and expects to be rejected, or, as if his life
depends on having to touch her. All the silly signs women try to use to explain why they
find a guy creepy--they all really refer back to that needy vibe. So don't bother trying to
learn how to hold your glass or scratch your neck. Those things don't actually matter.
What matters is whether you approach women with a sense of timing, confidence, and that
certain form of indifference Im going to teach you.
Here's a few simple things to avoid in order to prevent the creepy vibe:
1. Dont lean in too much.
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Wait until she's leaning in, then you can lean in.
2. Dont express too much interest, too soon.
It's better to have the woman confused about whether you like her or not in the beginning.
Sending mixed signals works better than expressing interest directly.
3. Avoid badly timed touching.
The proper way to touch a woman is as follows: First do a small touch like a quick stroke on
the knee or a short touch of the hand. Then read her response to this touch. Women give
signals telling you whether the touching was OK. Most men don't pay enough attention to
these signals.
Negative Signals: Moving back slightly, looking away, pulling her hand
away slightly, turning her body slightly away from you.
Positive Signals: Increased physical interaction, leaning into the
touch, touching you back a minute or two later, or touching you back
immediately.
There is ALWAYS a signal. If you think she didn't send a signal, that means you missed it,
and you need to do your small touch again.
If you get a positive signal, wait a bit, and then do a more significant touch such as
stroking the upper arm or stroking the lower thigh. Read her reaction to this.
The last step would be stroking her hair or holding her hand for a minute or two. If you
skip to step 3 without doing steps 1 and 2, it often gets you a one-way ticket to
Creepyville.
Always read a womans reaction to your touch. Nonverbal communication is something you
can always improve on, and skills in this area will take you very far with women.
Sometimes it's possible to move very quickly through these various steps, but it is
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important that you do not skip any of the steps, and that you always pay close attentions
to the woman's signals.
To make things a little more complicated, if you get a girl attracted to you, and then you
don't touch her soon enough, you risk falling into the Friend Zone.
Knowing about the Creepy category gives you a chance to show off your insider
knowledge of the female world. Joking about creepiness is an easy ticket to hearing more
details about a womans life or sharing amusing, high-value information about yours.
Try telling a story about an experience you once had with a creepy girl (Think "Fatal
Attraction", "The Crush", etc.). This puts you on the same side as the womanthe cool
side where everyone is so desirable that dealing with creeps and their sad come-ons is a
fact of life. No woman escapes having a few interactions with creepy dudes by the time
she's eighteen, so she will sympathize with any story you can share about your own creepy
experiences.
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Here are a few examples of stories I sometimes tell a woman to show that I understand
how awful it is when creepy people hit on her:
"So I was out dancing the other night, and this girl who looked like a
lesbian came up to me and started talking REALLY close to my face. She said
'Oooooh, you're a metrosexual, I'm metrosexual too, we should hang out.'
"I was like, ewwww, so creepy!"
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If you find yourself in the creepy-zone, cut your losses and move on to the next candidate.
Always remember:
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Friend Zone
So youve coasted in under her Creepy Radar.
The second category to avoid is the "Friend
Zone". Like the "Creepy" category, its very
difficult to move out of the "Friend Zone" once
youve been placed there. Youll need to follow
a few important moves to bypass this category
altogether.
First off, one of the dumbest things a man can
do is purposely put himself in the Friend Zone.
Many men try to befriend a woman in order to
"work on her" for a while in hopes that she'll
become interested in him later. I call this the
"befriend-and-date" strategy. If youve used
this method in the past, dont feel alone; the
idea that this approach works is one of the
most commonly held misconceptions for men.
"Friends first" is such a bullshit motto that
even the women who swear by those
exact words ignore them completely when
an attractive man walks into the room.
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If you go out of your way to become friends with a woman, it is highly unlikely you will ever
be anything else to that woman. Do not, I
repeat, do not, try to seem non-threatening,
helpful, sympathetic, or otherwise overly
friendly to women you have just met. You can
be friendly, but don't be an ass-kisser. No one
liked the ass-kissers in 7th grade, and no one
likes them now.
Trying to attract a woman from within the
Friend Zone only makes you look desperate
and dependent. Women look at men who hit
on female friends as men who are too pathetic
or lazy to meet women outside their circle.
Its seen as opportunistic, pure and simple.
Unfortunately, for many men, "befriend and
date" is the primary way they have learned to
relate to and pursue women. It seems like a
nice thing to doto build respect and affection
before attempting to pursue a woman
sexually. Mostly, men think its a sound
approach because they hear women loudly
supporting this idea.
If you learn nothing else from this book, learn to pay more attention
to what women ACTUALLY DO than what they SAY THEY DO.
In practice, even the women who support the theory of Friends first do not respond the
way they say they will respond. Dont get me wrongthere is nothing wrong with being
friends with women. It's good to have friends, and if a woman has value to you as a friend,
that's great. She might even have other attractive female friends that you will get to meet
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and hang out with, and that alone will raise your social value.
One thing I like to do with an attractive woman is to tell her that she's in MY friend zone. I
politely and kindly inform her that Im out of her league. Sounds ridiculous right? But
women say this to men all the time. Whats crazy is that it drives them insane to hear it
about themselves.
Why? Women want everyone around them to have a sexual interest. It's what they're
groomed to do. Women spend their entire lives learning how to appear attractive and
likable to the opposite sex. They assume that even their male "friends" are attracted to
them, but that those men desire their friendship so much that they manage to suppress the
sexual attraction, for fear of ruining the friendship. Ridiculous, I know.
But just tell a woman you've just met the following, and see for yourself what happens:
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Moral of the story is: if you think you'll become that womans friend and later switch it up
and get with her, youre mistaken. It's just not gonna happen. Furthermore, it's a bad,
desperate state of mind to be in. Make it your policy to never again employ this "befriend
and date" strategy.
The best way to stay out of the friend zone is to communicate early through
touching as I described in the first section.
This lets women know that there is a sexual undertone to the interaction. Sexual interest
should be communicated through touching, not words. This results is confusion. There is a
sexual undertone, but you haven't verbalized interest. Confusion is exciting and attractive.
If you directly verbalize your sexual interest to a woman on a date, you'll give away your
power, ruin the beautiful confusion you've created, and, worst of all, risk making her feel
like a slut.
Orbiter
Many men mistake the idea of friendship with women for this third category: the Orbiter.
What's an Orbiter? An orbiter is a guy who an attractive woman allows to hang around her.
Hes not quite a friend, but hes okay enough not to be considered Creepy. Women keep
Orbiters around to raise their social standing, to get favors, or as an easy source of
amusement.
Signs you just may be an Orbiter:
You've bought the last 4 rounds of drinks for her friends.
You've never met up with just her alone .
She calls you when she needs a ride, favor, loan, or something else
even your friends don't normally ask for.
She jokingly refers to you as "one of her boys".
She calls you 1-2 times a month/year/decade.
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As an Orbiter, you have no bargaining power. In fact, she probably doesn't actually need
anything that you provide. You're an afterthought.
Now that you understand Orbiter behavior, you will start to notice what I call "Orbiter
invitations." Sometimes a woman will reject your direct advances, but then she will
continue to lead you on in small ways. For example, a woman might refuse to give you her
phone number, but then she might ask you to drop by and visit her at work.
Men find this kind of behavior terribly confusing. Why would a woman reject your outright
and then lead you on two seconds later? I myself was extremely frustrated by this kind of
behavior back in the days before I decoded the female brain.
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The bottom line is: she's trying to use you to impress the other woman at her job.
Never accept Orbiter invitations. Respond, "Yeah, you wish!" and keep pushing for her
number. If she just isnt interested, its better to find out right away and not waste more
time playing her Orbiter games.
Here's another Orbiter situation: a girl meets you, but you two barely talk. Yet every once
in a while, she text messages you to meet her at some bar. I guarantee you, shes sent
that group message to ten other guys. Then she will turn to her friends and say, "Oh my
God, all these guys are showing up and hitting one me, what's up with that?"
I know women who do this. In fact, even some of the women I sleep with do this! I'll
show up to meet them somewhere, and I'll have to pull them away from a pack of Orbiters
to get them to come home with me. High caliber women tend to collect Orbiters more
aggressively and effectively than average women, so if you start approaching or dating the
top notch hotties like I do, you will run into this sort of stuff all the time.
Another way you can keep yourself from becoming an Orbiter is to make fun of men you
see who are Orbiters. That shows women you don't take any shit. That you're not a
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Make a mental note of this: A woman will never have sex with you because she
feels like she owes you something.
NEVER!
If you think they do, you're taking those porno plot
lines WAY too seriously.
Alrighty then. You now know, if you're in the Creepy, Friend Zone, or Orbiter categories,
you have very little chance of succeeding with that woman. You're sabotaging yourself,
and you need to stop it NOW!
1) Don't be creepy.
2) Stop trying to "befriend and date."
3) Stop orbiting.
That shit doesn't work.
Let's talk about the two categories where you do have a chance. Providers and Seducers.
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Provider/Husband
Of the last two categories, onethe Husband/Provideris
the golden category of men women claim they live for the
chance of meeting. Even men who don't quite fit this
category often get placed here as a kind of hopeful
gesture.
In human courtship, the woman attempts to find out
whether or not a prospective mate (Yes, that includes you,
horny guy at the bar) will provide everything that she and
her future offspring require. In the modern world, read:
money, money, and more money.
The Husband/Provider category is a really common
category to be put in, once you make it past all the
Creepy/Friend Zone and Orbiter pitfalls. Why? Because
the only other category left is the Seducer category, and
women would like you to believe that the Seducer
category doesn't exist. It's an extremely well-kept secret.
Since women pretend it doesn't exist, even to themselves,
they will try with all their might to make you fit into the
Husband/Provider category instead. "Traditional dating" is intimately connected to this
category. The idea here is that you make advances that the girl evaluates, and all of your
meetings with her are about proving yourself, spending cash, and trying to earn her
approval. She will make you jump through more and more hoops, and, eventually, you
might end up in a relationship, but always on her terms.
I don't recommend that you intentionally put yourself in the Husband/Provider category.
Even if you are looking for a wife, your best bet is to seduce her first. Then, you will have
a much better chance of marrying her than if you had started in the Husband/Provider
category. You can easily switch yourself into the Husband/Provider category later, if thats
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what you feel its time to do. If its not time to get married, and you end up in this
category, it's no one's fault but your own. There are easy actions you can take to prevent
it.
Women putting you into the Husband/Provider category leads to situations that take the
fun out things for both you and her. Women don't mean to take the fun out of things.
They're not doing it intentionallyit's just social programming. They are instructed by
society and instinct to put as many good men as possible in this category so they can then
select the best match.
In order to stay out, it's important to stay unpredictable, to not kiss ass, and to use all the
techniques I outline in the next few chapters. But basically:
Don't go on dinner dates.
Dinner dates are the ultimate symbol of the Husband/Provider type for women. Think
about how many movies you've seen where a man proposed to a woman over dinner?
Hundreds. It goes right back to caveman days where food (providing!) was associated with
a pair-bonded relationship. Dinner dates do not provide you any good opportunities to
escalate physically. You can't easily change venues. You're not sitting where you can
make a lot of physical contact. Plus, the woman is being observed (or feels she is) by
hundreds of other people, making her very self-conscious about her reactions and
interactions with you.
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If you get a chance, be sure to check out "Shopgirl" so you have a very clear picture of
what NOT to do. It will also give you some idea of where our ideas about dating come
from: completely unrealistic pop culture.
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from the Seducer to the Husband category later if you decide you want to be married. But,
if you are in the Husband/Provider category, you can never move back into the Seducer
category to have a non-exclusive relationship. The most you could try for would be
breakup sex, but that's generally short-lived and damaging to everyone involved.
The reason you can't shift from Husband/Provider to Seducer, is that the woman
would feel like you were going backwards in your relationship.
PROGRESS.
They believe the entire purpose of a relationship is to progress from "dating" to "seeing
each other" to "going out" to "getting really serious" to living together, to engaged, to
married.
Women will sometimes accept staying in one of these stages for a long time, but women
NEVER accept moving backwards in these stages.
Even women who say they aren't interested in getting married right now will not stand for
any kind of a demotion. It's a huge blow to their ego and flies in the face of everything
their biological urges are telling them. Have you ever tried to demote your girlfriend to
fuck-buddy? She will never be satisfied with this arrangement. I don't recommend it at
all; you're far better off starting over with a different woman.
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Here's a diagram to help you understand the categories and the possible mobility between
them.
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If you do want to get married sometime soon, consider the following 2 courses you might
take to get there:
1)The woman can string you along and make you prove yourself
while she takes her sweet time in deciding whether she wants to
get serious with you. This is "Traditional Dating." This is the
Husband/Provider category.
2)You can start sleeping with the woman immediately, get to know
her over a period of time, and then decide whether you want to
get serious with her. This is the Seducer category.
Both courses can lead to serious relationships and marriage; however, Husband/Provider
behavior (spending money, dinner dates, ass kissing, trying to prove yourself) generally
results in women withholding sex for as long as possible.
Seducer behavior creates excitement and an intense infatuation period. This is a great way
to start a serious relationship. It follows just like a romance novel where the woman slowly
wins over a seemingly unattainable mate.
Seducer
The last category is one of the great secrets of the female universethe Seducer. Some
women barely know or believe that this category exists outside of romance novels. The
ones who do don't talk about it for some very good reasons.
Much of the world might be in complete denial that the seducer category exists, but most
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women have a special place in their hearts and minds reserved for guys who understand
seduction. Take it from me; I've seduced more women than I can count, and I can tell you
women love to be seduced. However, if they acknowledged that seduction existed, they
would risk looking like a slut.
Most women, like men, naturally feel sexual. They naturally feel horny. However, as I
discussed earlier, the fear of being regarded as a slut puts women in a kind of cage. It
takes a lot of fun out of their life and causes a tremendous inner conflict. Most women
resist seduction, and this is all part of the fun and excitement of being the Seducer. How
much fun would it really be if things were easy?
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In these 12 CDs, I'll walk you through everything you need to know, from approaching
women and getting phone numbers, to phone game, to blowing her mind in the bedroom,
to having a girlfriend, even having 5 girlfriends.
Confusion Game
"Confusion game" is a huge part of my personal seduction arsenal. Girls love to analyze
everything. That goes triple for anything that actually involves them. Here's an example:
When you start watching a movie, and it's awful, you
usually turn it off or walk away. But remember a time
when you watched a movie that was bad and confusing?
If you didn't finish it, you probably watched it for a lot
longer than you would have if you weren't confused.
Confused people stick around to figure things out. This is
especially true for women.
I'm not suggesting you spend some afternoon telling an
attractive woman riddles. Confusion should be a subtle
part of every aspect of your interaction. It happens
when a woman doesnt know what will happen next in
your meet-up (we'll get to this soon); it comes from her
not knowing whether you like her, and it comes from the
woman not knowing how you expect her to act. That last part is very important to women.
Some women, once they know this piece of information, will work very hard to act exactly
how you want, and some women will use that information to do the exact opposite of what
you want. Others will try to please you. But in either case, they NEED to know what you
want. The longer you hold out on this information, the more desperate they will become to
know it.
Confusion can take many forms. There is good confusion and bad confusion. For example,
being lost in the woods would be "bad confusion." You're in real danger and it feels like a
nightmare.
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Then there is "fun confusion." For example,do you remember the first time you ever
watched a Quentin Tarantino film? The story doesn't seem to be in chronological order, so
you feel a bit confused throughout the movie. Then later it all fits together. The confusion
you felt earlier was part of the fun of the experience. This is the kind of confusion that
enriches the woman's experience during a date.
She should feel like she's not quite sure what's going to happen next, but whatever it is, it's
going to be something exciting and unexpected. She's in a state of "suspended disbelief."
This means that she's not protesting things that would normally seem weird. We all go into
states of suspended disbelief every day when we watch T.V. and movies. We stop our
tendency to filter out false information in the interest of being entertained. This is one of
the most important elements of creating entertainment, and you can use it to your
advantage in your dating life.
The Dance of Dating
If you chase a girl, she will run. If you run from a girl, she will chase. This is what I call
"the dance of dating" and it's something most men don't understand. Real Seducers
perfect this dance. They begin it from
the first words they exchange with a
woman and continue during their
every interaction forever after.
If you've ever seen people dance the
Tango (that Spanish dance where the
woman has the rose clenched in her
teeth, and there's lots of foot
stomping and whirling around?), you
know that dance is all about
seduction. The man and woman are
constantly pushing one another away,
and it only makes them hotter to
touch each other.
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NEXT UP: How to get important logistical information that will make or break your date.
You can do everything 100% right, but if you ignore logistics, you will always have major
setbacks.
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When does she work? (9 to 5, nights, weekends, only during the school
year?)
Who does she live with? (VERY IMPORTANT. More on this later.)
If your approach happened quickly, or if it was too loud to do much talking, be sure to
review this list of questions before your first phone call so that you can be sure to get the
answers to them. Don't make this seem like an interrogation or an interview. Usually, if
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you talk about your own answers to these questions (your job, your apartment, your
hobbies) she will likely respond by sharing information about hers, or at the very least, you
will have a natural opening to ask.
Now let's take a moment to examine your own situation. Where you live, both
geographically, and the details of your home life, will play a huge role in how you will plan
your date.
Do
Do
If
Do
Do
Is
Do
What
If
you live in a city, are you near public transportation, or is there easy
parking close by?
What
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It is important to have all of this logistical information before planning a date, so that you
can move the date in the right direction. I mean this completely literally; you want to be
able to travel from your venue or venues to the final destination you have selected.
So, you need to decide where you want the date to end--your place or hers. Use the info
you've gathered to make this decision. If she lives with her family or 4 roommates, you
don't want to move in that direction. If you don't have your own bedroom, and she does,
it's a good idea to move the date in the direction of her place.
Maybe you think it's unlikely that a girl will let you up on the first meeting? Well think of it
this way: it's far less likely that she's going to feel horny, half-naked on a couch three feet
outside your roommate's door.
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You can start the meet-up wherever you like, but be sure to plan 2-3 different stops. All of
these stops should move naturally in the direction of your end destination.
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An even better scenario is to start out at the same place you intend to return to. For
example if you intend to end at you place, it pays to have the woman meet you there in the
beginning. She will feel like she is going to a familiar place when you end up back at your
place. Many women will not agree to meet you at your place, but it's worth a shot.
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This planning is CRUCIAL. You can do everything else right, she can
be incredibly hot for you, and if you don't travel in the right direction
and make your final stop VERY close to a good end destination, all
your hard work will be for nothing. The girl might be totally attracted
to you, feel very safe with you, etc., but if it does not make sense
logistically to go up to your place or hers, then you are going to end
up spending the night with your hand.
If it's too late, too far, she has work early, your place is flooded, she has gossipy
roommates---it won't matter how great your date was up until that point. Plus, you can
count on the fact that some of her attraction will fade by the next time you hang out, and
you will have to redo most of the work you've already done. Do not let this happen.
Do it right the first time.
OK, lets get some other pre-date issues out of the way, the ones involving your body and
how you prepare it.
It might go without saying, but you need to start the date off on the best possible note.
Maybe it was dark when you made your approach, maybe it was loud, and maybe you, the
woman, or both of you had something to drink of the alcoholic variety. All of these things
mean that, to some extent, the meet-up is a brand new chance to make a first impression
or worse, a chance to screw up the positive first impression you've already made.
Wear clean clothes. Take a shower immediately before the meeting. Brush your teeth.
Brush them twice. I'd recommend against using mouthwash in the moments before a
meet-up, because it usually stinks of alcohol and may send a strange message. Use breath
mints or gum instead, but discard these before the meeting. Use a deodorant that works.
Ask a female friend if youre not sureshes probably been trying to figure out how to tell
you for months if yours doesnt work. Use cologne, if you have quality stuff, and use it
sparingly on your chest before you put on your shirt. It's best done 30 minutes to an hour
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NEXT UP: I'm going to give you the exact formulas I use on dates. These have been tested
extensively by me and my students, and they give you the best chance for success.
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plan with total confidence and charm, the rewards are endless. Once you get used to
taking the lead, you'll find that it brings out a natural masculinity in you and it feels great.
The Try-Out Date
This first strategy is an excellent way to start learning the right way to date. Even once
youve mastered all the other strategies, youll find yourself coming back to this method
again and again, especially with a woman youve just approached.
So often, men ruin the vibe of a date completely by asking a woman early on:
Watch any television dating show, and I guarantee you that at least half the men will make
this mistake. Not only does that put the woman in charge of evaluating you, it sends a
strong signal of desperation. Asking this is INSTANT DEATH on a date. I cringe every
time I see it on TV. Don't do it!
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something else after that. We'll just see how it goes." See how subtle that is? It
communicates that she still has to win you over. It also shows that there's no pressure on
anyone and removes the threat of a long boring evening that can't be escaped.
What do I mean? One of the things women fear most about dating is being stuck in a highpressure situation. The women in our culture are discouraged from aggressively ending
any situation they dont like or feel uncomfortable in. No matter how bad a date is, a
woman will never jump up from the table and shout, You are such a loser. You just
wasted my whole night. I am outta here!
Instead of putting a stop to situations they find boring or difficult, most women rely on
lengthy, lame excuses to cut their dates short, or they resort to things like having a friend
call their cell phone and invent some emergency. More often still, a woman will just go
along on the date for the entire night, but meanwhile in her head they are painting a bigger
and bigger picture of how much they despise you, so they can call their friends later and
complain.
When you set up a "Try-Out" date, she'll instantly become more relaxed knowing that
there's no pressure to commit an entire day or evening. Believe it or not, she'll also be
excited about having to win over a guy who's hard to get. Shes never going to come out
and say that. In fact, she might not even realize why shes excited, but I assure you that
women love a challenge. They just need you to express the slightest bit of interest, so that
they feel confident trying to win you over. Its like this: women need to know two things
before they will really go after you. First, they need to know they are attracted to you.
And second, they need to know they have a chance of you being attracted to them. When
they are sure of both of those things, they will fight like tigers to gain more and more of
your attention.
Now, when youre setting up the idea of a Try-out meeting, never say anything like, "If
we don't like each other," or "If you're not having fun." Saying those things just plants a
seed in the girl's head that she might not enjoy herself. It's negative thinking, and it could
ruin your entire meeting.
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In this situation you're looking to find a balance between showing her she has a chance
with you and setting an evaluation frame. Showing too much arrogance will be over the
top. Instead you should act positive that she will like you, that she will enjoy herself when
she is out with you, and that everything will go smoothly. You'd be surprised how much
that kind of attitude can affect the womans mood.
The truth is, women spend a great deal of time worrying that the man they have agreed to
meet will not do his part to make the meet-up fun and exciting, because then they will be
on this awkward date having to smile and pretend they're not unhappy or disappointed. As
I said before, even if a woman is having a miserable time on a date, she often feels
powerless to put a stop to it. You acting confidently will put her at ease, so she can stop
watching for signs that you are not comfortable or experienced at meeting women, and she
can start enjoying herself.
What's more, if a woman thinks you're not having fun, she won't have fun. Women have
been socially trained to try to please the people around them. You might be upset because
the movie you wanted to take her to isn't playing, and I guarantee you that the woman will
be thinking she's not dressed the way you hoped, she isn't pretty enough, or that she must
have eaten too much ice cream and now you think she's a pig.
When women are unsure of how a situation is going, they tend to take the blame on
themselves. You might think a woman who is feeling badly about herself makes an easier
target for seduction, but that's not how it works and real seducers don't think that way.
More often it just makes a woman close up physically and retreat. Even if she agreed to go
back to your place, it won't be one-tenth as good as it would be with a happy, excited,
confident woman.
So, OK, you've met for coffee, you're filled with confidence. She's laughing and smiling,
and she seems to like listening to what you have to say. Twenty minutes have passed by
very quickly. This makes a perfect time to transition directly into an adventure-style date.
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Adventure dates
Adventures dates unfold like adventure movies. They have lots of action, less talking, and
frequent changes of scenery. On this kind of meet-up, you become the woman's leader,
and the two of you together become a team. The mood is exciting and experimental, and
the woman will find herself trying things she wouldn't normally. If, on the approach, you
tried some of my role-playing games, and she loved it, this is a perfect opportunity to
continue that kind of fun.
I know what some of you are thinking. Where I live, nothing is ever going on. Nothing we
have is new or different. Everything to do is miles apart. I'm going to be left with nothing
to do but stare at cornfields and talk to this woman who is getting more and more bored
with me by the second.
It's possible that you're right--maybe this style of date isn't the most effective for where
you live. But it's also possible that you just need to expand your definition of fun, because
the secret to making this style of meet-up work is knowing how to make any ordinary thing
seem exciting. There are tons of opportunities all around you to have adventure, anytime,
anywhere.
When you were a kid, you knew how to do it. In the supermarket, you jumped from white
tile to white tile trying not to fall into the "lava" colored tiles. Maybe you had to sit still in
church every week, and you spent the time trying to imagine what kind of underwear
everyone in the choir was wearing. You've probably spent huge chunks of time in your life
finding something to keep you busy in a boring situation. All you need to do now is share
those things out loud.
For example, sometimes when I'm out in public with a woman and things are getting
boring, I'll pretend that everyone around us is part of my extended family, and we're at
some kind of a reunion. Then I'll start telling the woman gossipy, juicy stories about the
people surrounding us. Sounds weird I know, but it spices things up, so stay with me here.
I'll point out an older man on the subway and whisper:
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"See him? That's my Uncle Frank. He just got out of rehab. He was addicted
to ecstasy and a bunch of party drugs. He's sorta like the black sheep of the
family. He's over 50 years old, and he still goes to raves.....oh and look over
there, that's my Aunt Yolanda. Stay away from her for now. Last year she
had a fistfight with Uncle Frank over the last piece of pumpkin pie. She's
been in anger management ever since. Oh, there's my Uncle Bill. He used to
be a bodyguard for Alice Cooper. Weird huh? He's bad ass."
The whole tone of the conversation is secretive and gossipy. You can do this at the park, at
a bar, on the subway, at a coffee shop, a toy store, a concert, anywhere at all.
So, the basic idea of adventure dating is to go to several different venues very quickly and
have fun at every one of them. The progression from one place to the next should seem
unplanned and spontaneous.
Why is this better than a dinner date? Single women often go on multiple dates a week.
Most of the time, the guy is viewing the date as a business transaction. The whole evening
is stiff. She's uncomfortable, just waiting for the date to end. See, women view dating as
a necessary evil. They love the possibility of romance and sexual attraction, but they know
a huge percentage of the time the date will go badly. They will be waiting for the moment
they have to begin avoiding sloppy sexual advances from someone they don't even find
themselves attracted to.
In contrast, an adventure date returns her immediately to a time in her life when things
were simpler, when having fun was the most important goal in life. She stops worrying
about whether you are going to try to kiss her. She quits thinking she should be home
doing laundry. She gets into the moment with you, and she starts to follow your lead. The
more fun you show her, the most she trusts you and looks to you to provide fun for her.
Ideas for adventure dates? Take her into a toy store and play with the toys. Take her into
a place that's unfamiliar to you both...a church, office building, fitness center...and see how
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many rooms you can get inside before you get kicked out. Ride the subway or bus to a
place you've never been. Stop at a playground. Go on the swings.
Find good places to people watch. Talking about what you see will bond you more closely
together. Supermarkets, in general, are perfect. Tell her you want to find the most
expensive thing you can buy at a supermarket. Pretend to be a married couple having a
fight in the aisle. Ask other people for the best recipe to prepare random items of food.
The key to making this style work is being open, bold, and keeping the pace very quick.
Don't ever give her time to worry that she looks stupid, or that shes wasting her day. As
soon as the fun starts to wear off in one situation, make an immediate venue change. It
doesn't matter if you get in the car or on the subway, or if you just move to the next store
down--just keep things moving. You should both be laughing a lot. You should never sit
down for more than a minute to catch your breath. Even the transportation should be part
of the adventure.
The format is simple. Plan 3-5 different destinations. Don't tell her what they are in
advance. Then take her from one place to the next without her ever knowing where she's
going next. Even in a rural area, I bet you can come up with 3 fun things to do. After each
one, tell her "OK, get back in the car. We have to get to the next spot soon."
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Be sure each of these destinations leads back in the general destination of your end goal:
your place or hers. This is VERY important on any date.
My World Date
The name says it all. In this style, you're basically going to bring a woman into your world.
Think of a place or a neighborhood you know incredibly well and that she is likely to be
unfamiliar with. Maybe it's your favorite jazz club, or some funky neighborhood downtown,
or a large park or farmer's market. Maybe your job comes with special privileges: a press
pass or some other behind-the-scenes access. This should be a place where many people
know you by name, where you get special privileges and attention. It's a place you don't
need to do a lot of planning to visit, because you know exactly what might or will happen.
You get to be free of all doubt and insecurity when youre there.
You may be comfortable in this situation, but since it's completely new to her she will
depend on your expertise. You will be taking the lead and helping her out along the way.
It's very natural for men to lead and women to follow. That's what begins attraction for
most women. It makes a woman feel like a woman. I'm not saying you should ignore all
of a woman's suggestions, but if you put the bulk of the planning and responsibility for
having a good time on the woman, it will create a lot of anxiety and fear in her mind. She
will constantly be worrying that she may have made the wrong choice. Lead, as much as
possible. When in doubt, lead. By default, lead.
In the "My World" date, you will be source of all decisions and all fun and good feeling will
come from your decisions. I like to think of it as the woman "riding my fun train."
When you're first getting to know woman, it's a good idea for her to ride your fun train, not
the other way around. Women reserve a special kind of contempt for men they consider
socially needy. In a "My World" style date, you get to show her that you are a socially
competent man who is not going to start leeching on to her social resources. Show her
that you're not dependent on her for fun by setting up a situation where she is dependent
on you for fun. You might be surprised how many men are socially needy. I'd say it's the
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majority. So, if you can show a woman that you are socially competent, you become a rare
prize.
The most important aspect of this kind of meet-up is you need to make sure the woman
feels welcomed into your world. You are not trying to alienate her. Don't spend more time
talking to your old friends than making her feel at home. Don't leave her alone, or turn
your back on her for more than a few minutes. You have to maintain a balance between
letting her see you do your thing and directly engaging her, creating more and more
attraction.
Here's a few examples from my own dating life.
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"OK. Here's what we're gonna do. We'll go hang out with your friends, we'll
go hang out with my friends, but everywhere we go we'll be the coolest
people in the room. You know the type. We'll show up late. We won't stay
long. We won't be boring. We just show up, look beautiful, and then leave all
those people for the next hot party on the list."
Make sure not to separate from her when you get to the parties. You want to stay no
longer than a half hour at each party. Be certain to remind your date that you've both got
places to go, things to do.
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Hit 4 or more different parties and, again, be sure to move in the direction of the final
destination. Make your final stop VERY close to your place, as you will both be tired from
displaying all that coolness. Maybe suggest some late night breakfast at a diner 2 blocks
from your house. Better yet, suggest having a late night breakfast AT your house.
Here's an example to give you a better idea.
Saturday night rolls around. We're both swamped with invites (you
only need 2 invites to appear swamped). So we:
Go out to dinner for her friend's birthday party---> Head to a club
where my friend is DJing---> Meet her friends from work at a different
club---> Leave for my friend's apartment to meet his new girlfriend--> Get coffee 3 blocks from her house---> Buy ice cream at the closest
deli and take it to her house.
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Errands
Now for a completely different concept. Im taking you from the most sophisticated dating
style to the least: running errands. Everyone's got them, and we all share a sympathetic
hatred for having to do them on our time off from work. So why not invite a women to do
a series of everyday things with you? She probably has some tasks she can accomplish at
the same time, in the same places as you. Women LOVE to save time by multi-tasking.
In this style, you've still got a plan, but it involves one or more normal environments that
definitely won't intimidate the woman. This style is a cross between the let's hang out
and adventure style meet-ups. You know what you are going to do together (even if she
doesnt), but you need to make these ordinary events fun. Supermarkets, department
stores, any place that requires movement is perfect.
College guys have it so easy. Why? They have the advantage of sharing a specific set of
responsibilities with almost every woman they meet. It's totally easy to say, come over
and study for that exam we have coming up, or, let's go down and do laundry, or, lets hit
the dining hall for a late night snack. In many of these situations, its perfectly normal to
start with the woman at your place, or you at hers. Plus, because most college students
have just one room that they live in, a woman being 'at your place' is the same as a
woman being in your bedroom. It doesnt get any easier than that.
But you don't have to be a college kid to use this dating format. Anyone can use it,
especially in an urban setting. If you are dating a college girl or a recent grad, this dating
format will be especially familiar and comfortable for her.
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Movie Date
We all know that the invitation, "Come over and watch a movie" is basic code for getting
laid. Just to watch the movie you'll have to curl up on a couch or lay on a bed together.
The crazy part is, if you ask a woman to come over and have sex, she is almost guaranteed
to slam down the phone. Remember, that's because any woman who responds to this type
of direct request is almost certainly going to be looked at as a slut. A woman planning to
have sex is classic slut behavior; its right up there with a woman carrying condoms in her
purse.
Yet, if you ask a woman to come over and watch a
movie, even if she knows this will lead to making
out and possibly sex, she can always tell herself,
her friends, whomever, that she didn't mean for it
to go that way. She can say, it "just happened".
That one phrase buys women a lot of leeway in their
social world. Because women are considered the
more passive gender in our society, they are rarely
punished for demonstrating passive behavior. In
contrast, they are often looked down upon by both
men and other women for acting especially
aggressive. That kind of behavior is either seen as
slutty or bitchy, depending on how much skin is
showing at the time.
Invite yourself over. The moment she tells you
she's just hanging around her house, or that she
mentions doesn't have plans, say, "Great. I'm
coming over with popcorn and a movie."
Pay close attention to this next piece of advice.
Gentlemen, whatever you do, do not ask the woman what movie she wants to see. You will
get drawn into an hour-long conversation about your taste in movies, and you almost
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certainly will mention some trivial piece of information that causes the woman to decide
that you are 100% not the right man for her. I mean it. Many men ruin a great beginning
with a woman over a simple screw up like this.
If she asks what movie, just say You'll see.
This strategy works just as well on a rainy Saturday morning as it does a Thursday night.
It doesn't need to be dark outside to watch a movie. When doesnt this strategy work?
When you do something moronic, like make plans to watch a movie many hours or days
after the phone call. All that does is give a woman endless time to rethink the idea, time to
make sure her roommate will be home in case she needs an excuse to send you home
early, and time to obsess over what she will wear and how she will arrange her furniture
until shes so frustrated she doesnt even want to open the door, much less get busy on her
sofa.
Giving a woman too much advance notice effectively dumps the planning of the date back
in her lap. It doesnt matter that you didnt ask her to plan anything. When women arent
certain you have everything under control, they feel the need to plan, just in case. That
is what you want to avoid at all costs. It puts the woman in the wrong mood for seduction.
Some final details. You must be casual when you suggest an activity like this. Make it
seem like no big deal. You want to come off as the guy who spends a lot of time in
women's apartments, which is why you didn't think twice about showing up at hers. If
there's a couch or a bed where you'll both be watching from, be sure to sit or lay towards
the middle. She will be forced to sit or lay near you no matter which direction she chooses
to go. If she tries to pick another place to sit entirely, immediately tease her.
"Ohhhh, are you all upset because I sat in your spot. I had this dog, Brewster, when I was
six that acted the same way! You're not going to try and bite me if I don't move, are you?"
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Mysterious Date
This is my favorite style of dating. When planning a mysterious date, I tell the woman to
meet me at a specific location on such and such a date and time. I don't allow her to ask
me any questions, but I go over the details of when and where we are meeting in
painstaking detail, as if these things are critically important. Then I tell her to wear a
specific kind of clothing:
"Hey that dress you had on when I met you? Yeah, that's perfect! I like that
one. Make sure you wear it. Is it clean? Good."
Be in control of the situation. Play the confusion game and use lots of redirection:
"So wear that dress, but make sure you also bring along some sneakers.
Sneakers. Don't forget!"
Then I give her a list of random items that she needs to bring:
"How about brillo pads? Do you keep those at your place? Yeah, we'll need
one of those. Oh and nutmeg! I almost forgot the nutmeg. Please tell me
you have some?"
For a woman who is used to being invited to boring dinner datesdinners she doesn't want
to eat because she's worried what men will think about what she eatsthis approach will
take her totally by surprise. She doesn't know what to expect, so she can't be worrying
about how to handle it days ahead of time. Instead, she'll focus on putting together what
you asked, because women want to be prepared and they like to please the people they are
attracted to.
Now pay very close attention. I always tell the girl that she will need pants in addition to
the dress Ive told her to wear, and an extra shirt, "just in case". No matter what she
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asks, I dont tell her what exactly what just in case means. I might hint that we might
get dirty, but that's about it.
Why the extra clothes? Because the number one reason a woman will tell you she can't
stay over your place is, "I need to get ready for work in the morning." At that point, you
will clue her in.
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Once you have her meeting you at the specified location at 19:00 hours, be sure not to tell
her what the brillo and nutmeg was for, just start leading her to the first destination. Tell
her "It's a surprise. You don't want to ruin the surprise, do you?" After you go to the first
destination, move on to the second and third, always moving in the direction of your place
or hers. By the time you get to your place or hers, she might ask why she's been carrying
brillo around all night. At that point you can say, "Well, it was just to throw you off. I
think it worked."
Here's an example of a mystery style date I went on a few months ago:
1) Phone primer: "wear that skirt, but bring jeans and sneakers...do you have a
spice rack?..."
2) Meet up at specified location. Refuse to give details, saying "It's a surprise."
3) Go to video arcade.
4) Go to a bar.
5) Go to desert place near my place.
6) Go to my place.
7) She stays over, wears jeans and sneakers to work the next day.
The Recap:
Always try to start the date near the place you want the date to end. It's natural to
return to a familiar place, and it lessens the logistical concerns that will cause a woman
last-minute regrets. Even better, have the woman originally meet you at your apartment.
You don't even have to bring her all the way inside, although it's often a great idea to invite
her inside your place for at least a minute or two (just long enough to grab your coat) to
establish a sense of familiarity when you suggest returning there later.
You need a pretense for isolation. Girls are afraid of displaying slutty behavior. Let's
go back to my place and fuck, is a line that rarely works. (And on sober girls: never!)
What do you do then? Use bait. At some point during the meet-up, you need to establish
some idea that gives you both a reason to return to your apartment. Lets say you're
talking about movies:
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"What?! You haven't seen that movie? Oh man, you have to see it! I have a
copy at my place, we can check it out later."
Then immediately move on with the conversation. Don't dwell on the bait. Women are
very subtle people. You dont need to emphasize anything, and it will only spark their
suspicions if you do. When it comes time to invite her back to your place, your suggestion
will have continuity. It will bypass the woman's feeling of shame because it makes sense.
Just make sure you know where your bait is going. Manage your logistics well in advance.
It's totally OK to exaggerate the bait. Go ahead and tell her you have a saltwater aquarium
and bring her back to your goldfish in a bowl. You can make it a joke. But you need to
have something genuine to show her once you're there. Luring a girl to your apartment
with nothing at all to show her is creepy.
There are so many things you can use as bait: CDs,
movies, a musical instrument. One thing I've been using
lately is video games. I know it sounds dumb because
women usually don't like video games, but hear me out
here!
I bought the home version of Dance Dance Revolution.
Thats the one with the mat you dance on to follow
moves on the screen. You can hook it up to your TV in
minutes, no game console needed. I invite the woman to
come with me to "this awesome dance place. I say,
You know how to dance right?" When we arrive, the
DDR setup is so ridiculous she just has to laugh. Then
once she starts playing, she gets all heated up from the
physical activity. So far, every woman who has set foot
on my DDR has been in my bed naked within 60
minutes.
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Food is sometimes the best and simplest bait. Let's say your meet-up was over coffee or a
snack and you still haven't had any dinner. Several hours have passed. I guarantee that
one of you will be hungry. Say that you are, to avoid a situation where the woman feels
ashamed for wanting to eat. Tell her you have some great food back at your house she
needs to try. Or, tell her to take you back to her place and make you a sandwich. Tell her
that you need to evaluate her sandwich-making abilities.
Always have a reason for the venues you pick. For example, never say, "Let's meet at
my place" without saying why. Give her a reason. "Because!" didn't work with your
parents when you were a kid, and it's not going to satisfy any woman you date either.
Instead, say, "We need to take the N-train to get to __________. I live right by the Ntrain. Let's meet at my place around 6 and we can walk to the subway station from there."
Women like to hear things that make sense and are sensible. It makes them feel like you
are smart, organized, and prepared to take care of the annoying details. That means they
can relax and enjoy themselves.
The more specific you get with your planning, the more comfortable she will feel, even if
you eventually deviate from the plan. The more matter-of-fact you are when you express
your plans, the less likely she is to refuse. Easy, relaxed conversation is the key to putting
women in a frame of mind where they are ready and willing to following your lead. The
next section of the book will show you how to build your conversation skills.
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NEXT UP: Now that you have a great plan, you'll need great conversation. I'm going to give
you some general strategies on conversation. I'll also give you some of the deadliest routines
from my personal stash. These have been tested over and over by me and my students, and
they have an incredible success rate.
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the same: grab her interest quickly, get her laughing, and always keep her confused and
off balance. Heres how to do it:
Conversation
Think of your conversations with women like keeping the ball in play. Once you drop the
ball, its a hundred times harder to get the momentum and excitement going again. So
don't do it! Shy or reserved girls, especially, become even shyer and quieter when things
go silent. If a woman isnt responding to what you're saying, ask yourself these questions:
Does she look bored? Don't let it throw you off. She's probably just being shy. Many
women are shy at first, so if your date isnt talking much, don't take that as a sign that
things aren't going well. With shy girls, if you just keep talking and talking, they will
eventually loosen up. Some women are quieter than others. If you can talk for hours on
end, even without getting much feedback from her, you actually have a great chance at
succeeding on your date. Most guys can't do this, so her options are limited. Just talk her
ear off, and youre as good as gold.
Does she look confused? Slow down. Redirect the conversation to something happening
right in front of both of you, so that she can follow what youre saying more easily. Point
out something funny, bizarre, or interesting around you.
With shy girls, it's best not to ask too many questions at once. Leave the occasional
question hanging for a second, but move on right away if she doesn't begin to answer.
Here's an example:
You: I have the craziest family you've ever seen. Especially my brother.
You have any brothers?
What a nut.
[pause for just a moment, and if her mouth doesn't open, just keep right on going]
You: My brother, he just bought a whole bunch of hand made hats from Pakistan and he's
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Using both of these concepts, I've constructed one single palm reading routine that seems
to work on every woman. Yes, that's right, I use THE EXACT SAME PALM READING EVERY
TIME, and it works like magic.
Without further delay, here's my magic palm reading:
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few times when they were very outspoken, so that will generally be
considered an accurate read as well.
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horse, butterfly or ladybug). Alright, back to your lifeline. Says here you're
going to have a long life. Oh and look at this, you're going to have a near
death experience in your mid 60s. You're going to go into the tunnel, but
then you come back out and live a long time after that. Oh wow, and look at
this. Hold on....I'm getting a vision....OK I see it....in your mid-twenties (or
estimate her current age), you're going to have a life-changing experience. I
see it....you're going to meet a dark-skinned stranger in a white shirt
(Describe yourself.), and it's going to change your whole life. I can't quite
make out his face....I'm losing it....the vision is gone. But wow, are you going
to have some life-changing experience."
Finally, put your hand up against her hand.
"Let's see how big your hand is..."
This hand-to-hand contact is the culmination of the intimate touching that occurred during
the palm reading. Do not forget to do this last step!
The delivery on this reading can vary. I usually deliver it as if I'm 90% serious, but I leave
that hint of doubt that let's the woman know this whole thing could just be a joke.
Some girls have read books on palm reading and they'll try to get smart with you. They'll
say "Hey that's not the laugh line, the laugh line is over here." Don't let that throw you.
Just say "Hmmm, what style did you learn?.....oh really, hmmm I learned Romanian style,
so that might be different."
So that's my palm reading. Learn it. You'll be glad you did. Then put a few of your own
touches into it. I swear to you, it works for me every time.
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A quick note on using routines- it's not necessary to use lots and lots of them. Just using a
few in the right spots goes a long way. Remember, she's mostly going to focus on best
moments of your time together (the top 10-20%) and any blatant fuck ups (like if you talk
for 20 minutes about your colonoscopy). The routines can fill out that top 10-20%, and
then all you have to do is have fun and be normal for the rest of the time.
Testing Each Other
The first meet-up is all about feeling each other out. You'll want to know a lot of things
about the woman that can easily be explained, such as:
Other things that men want to find out about women could be things that cannot be
discovered through direct questions, such as:
These are things that you cannot ask a woman directly. Instead youll need to watch for
clues and put the pieces together. Think about it, if you said to a woman "Hey are you too
slutty or too frigid?", how far do you think that would get you? It would either be
considered in poor taste, or else the woman will simply lie and claim to be perfect. That's
the way it always works. So, you need to uncover this information through indirect
methods.
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The same holds true for women. There are things they want to know about you that
cannot be discovered by just asking you a simple question. For example:
Women will always test you to find out the answers to these questions.
The "dance of dating," as I call it, is all about two people testing one another in clever
ways, trying to figure out the answers to these important questions.
The sad truth is that, most of the time, men on dates are so blinded by horniness and
sexual desperation that they forget to do any testing on the woman theyre with. A man
like this allows the woman to test him over and over, always trying to win her approval, but
he never does any testing of his own. Women treat this as a telltale sign that the man is
needy and desperate. Politely refraining from asking too many questions is never an
attractive quality to women. Curiosity is attractive to women. The more you notice about
a woman and the more you ask questions that pertain to those qualities, the more
attracted to you they become.
WHAT TO DO WHEN THE WOMAN IS TESTING YOU
When a woman says or does anything weird or slightly hostile on a meet-up, it's probably
because she's testing you. She knows the best way to see if you rattle easily is to try to
rattle you herself. If she has no trouble confusing you, misbehaving around you, or
disrespecting you in any way, then she knows for sure that you're a pussy. Almost all
women will do a few subtle things to try to throw you off, and some disrespect you outright
just to what they can get away with.
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Example:
Woman: (standing at makeup counter for 5 to 10 minutes)
Man: "OK, we're done here. Let's go."
3) For more playful tests, just turn the joke back on her.
Example:
Woman: "Ooooh, look at mister tough guy in his muscle shirt."
Man: (Mocking her tone with a high-pitched voice) "Ooooh, meh meh meh-meh
meh shirt...."
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Now ask her a very easy question in the category you've selected. When she gets it right,
smile or nod, then tell her that's an easy question. Ask more questions, getting slightly
more challenging with each question. Give grudging respect when she answers correctly
and act shocked and disappointed when she gets them wrong. Its good to maintain a kind
of mock seriousness as you ask every question. Think of Alex Trebeck on Jeopardy.
Keep in mind your attitude should be teasing,
never downright disrespectful or condescending.
You're not out to prove that you know more than
she does. Duh, youre picking questions that you
already know the answers to. It's just a game.
But remember, even in games and jokes, there is
an element of serious reality. If she doesn't know
the answers, change direction and egg her on to
prove that she knows about something equally as
important to you. Lets say she doesnt know a
thing about cars. Ask her what she does know
about, since she never bothered to learn about
cars. Then ask her questions about that subject.
Role-play
This game works surprisingly well with many women, even some of the shyer ones.
Basically, you start playing the role of someone she will definitely know. Do not make this
difficult. It should not be a guessing game. Choose a famous Hollywood heartthrob (Brad
Pitt, Orlando Bloom, Will Smith, Nick Lachey) who is involved with an equally famous
woman. Or you can use one of his fictional movie characters. Start a conversation,
speaking as the person you've chosen, and address your date as the real or fictional
wife/girlfriend/lover of that man.
If you know you're not good at improvising, stick with doing a scene from a movie whose
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lines you know by heart, and one that she is likely to know equally as well. Give her a
couple chances to pick up on what youre doing. This should not feel intimidating to the
woman. It should be playful. Dont allow yourself to become frustrated if she doesnt know
the scene as well as you do. Skip her lines entirely, or stage whisper them to her, as if you
are prompting an actress during a theatrical performance.
Some of the best role plays are the ones where you're
a comedic character and she barely has to do much.
Like Napoleon Dynamite (can you bring me my
chapstick?) or Ron Burgandy (I'm.....kind of a big
deal...")
You don't have to choose a movie, you can use some
kind of tabloid event that women know about, such as
"Hey I think you're pretty cool and maybe you and I
should adopt a child from Africa. What do you think?"
(Madonna, Brangelina).
Women will often act out emotions that they are afraid
to display if they are playing a character that is known
for that quality. So if you want your date to act more
sexy, play Brad and make her Angelina Jolie. If you want to see her sweet and quirky, play
Justin Timberlake to her Cameron Diaz. Wild and drunk? Make her Drew Barrymore.
Refined and sophisticated? Sharon Stone. Dark and spooky? Christina Ricci. You get the
point.
If she seems reluctant, give it a second try before you move on to another strategy. Some
girls are afraid to appear silly or strange and need more time before they will play along.
With shyer girls, its best not to start this game in a very public space. Always make sure
you go completely into your role first, so that you have risked embarrassment before her.
Once she does engage with you, keep the act going as long as it's fun or funny to you both.
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Know when to quitalways on a high note: when she's laughing, when she starts to touch
you in character, or once she becomes more animated and comfortable around you.
Smart/Hot, Rich/Good in bed
This is a great routine to try with an outgoing woman. Tell her you have two requirements
for any woman you're seeing: that she be hot and rich. Since most women won't believe
that they fall into both of these categories; she will be slightly annoyed by this statement at
first.
Perfect. Follow it up with the fact that you aren't rigidly bound by that rule; tell her you
understand that not every woman can be hot and rich. Some are born poor. Some got hit
in the face with a baseball bat in second grade. Tell her that you are willing to replace
"hot" with "smart", or "rich" with "good in bed". Most women will want to assert that they
are some combination of these four categories. Make them prove their value. Ask for
references. Demonstrations. Go completely over the top on this one. Whatever you do,
remain at least slightly unconvinced that she will live up to your standards.
Some women really get a kick out of this routine, and I've taken it to the extreme at times.
I made one girl get all of her friends to sign a petition saying that she's so smart, I should
definitely date her. She actually came back with 10 signatures!
For another girl, I grabbed her cell phone and immediately started calling random names
and saying, "Hi there, this is Brad, I'm hanging out with your friend Tina, and I really need
to know if you think she's smart."
Be very careful with shy or low-confidence girls, who may only feel intimidated by this kind
of high social value statement. If you think you can't say it without quickly reassuring her
that she fulfills your requirements, do not use this strategy at all. It wont gain you any
ground if you have to reassure the woman. It will develop into the kind of courtship ritual
that leads to more compliments and more chance of you going home alone.
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Humor
You probably know by now whether other people consider you "funny" or not. Don't
assume youre funny just because your mother or favorite grandparent told you so. Do
people introduce you at parties by saying, "This is my friend, Brad. He will crack your ass
up"? Do you find it fairly easy to bring men and women to the point of snorting drinks out
their nose? Even if you know you're funny, it's important to understand a little about what
women consider funny, since it's very different from what men consider funny.
Men have a linear sense of humor. Most women do not. This can best be explained by the
fact that most men enjoy jokes that start out, "A guy walks into a bar", whereas women
usually lose interest somewhere in the middle of this type of longer jokes, and they are
completely bored by the time you get around to the punch line.
Women are experts at communicating on many levels at the same time. They say things
out loud that they mean, and then they say things out loud that they definitely dont mean.
They hold their body in certain ways, touch in different ways, and move their faces into so
many crazy expressions you have little hope of ever learning them all.
Women enjoy subtle humor and humor that pertains to social
situations and social hierarchies. Social hierarchies are
everywhere, yet few men pay attention to them.
A social hierarchy is a situation where there is a specific pecking
order from the highest value person to the lowest. High school,
EVERY high school, gives a clear example of how a social hierarchy
works. Nerdy, low-social value. guys do not ask the hottest girl in
school to the prom. If they did, you'd laugh, right?
Humor is basically created in two ways: awkwardness and conflict.
We are either laughing at something that makes us very
uncomfortable, or we are laughing at the difference between what
someone says and what that person actually means or does.
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If you think or know you're not funny, there's still hope. Some aspects of humor you can
practice, and there are also some ways to make your non-funny personality entertaining in
a way that still gets women laughing. I'm not a naturally funny person, but I've nurtured
my sense of humor for a few years now, and I've gotten to the point where most people
find me funny.
Are you extremely serious all the time? Hundreds of comics have made
a living out of playing the "straight man". This means you exaggerate your seriousness
and never attempt to be silly or humorous back at anyone who is with you. Respond to
any jokes she makes with confusion or an even more serious question.
For example, your date says, "I laughed so hard I almost died." You respond, "Really?
That's terrible. "
Take everything she says to be serious and truthful. Women use lots of exaggerated
descriptions and facial expressions, and that provides a million opportunities to play your
seriousness up to a comic level.
Maybe you're a little awkward at times? Anyone has seen Napoleon Dynamite or Rain Man
knows that awkwardness can be really funny, too, IF it's taken to an extreme.
Again, humor is best spaced out throughout your meeting. Dont try to be funny nonstop
from the first moment of the date to the last. Humor works best for establishing attraction
and creating a relaxed atmosphere, but its not the quickest way to escalate physically.
Like we talked about earlier, be sure to change up the mood of the meeting at least several
times, just like you will be changing the venue. Go from funny to serious, or serious to
smooth, whenever you sense her attention starting to wander.
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NEXT UP: Things don't always go as planned. In the next chapter, we're going to talk about
girls who don't show up, girls who suggest a group date, and the last resort dinner date.
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Why? It's just part of the character of the types of women we deal with. Young attractive
women in our fast paced urbanized world consider this type of behavior to be acceptable.
They don't intend to hurt your feelings, they are just too conflict-averse to explain why
they don't want to hang out with you. Once in a while, they will lead you on, promise to
meet you and then not show up. They develop these types of behaviors as a response to
being constantly put on a pedestal by "nice guy" types. You'd probably be inconsiderate,
too, if people were always trying anything and everything to get you into the sack. If you
use my techniques you can minimize this behavior, but you can never eradicate it
completely.
Here are a few strategies I recommend to reduce flaking:
1. BE VALUABLE TO HER.
Work on your life so you are an interesting person. Learn everything you can about making
women feel attraction. Look your best. Be a fun guy. Don't be a needy loser. I know it
sounds like a lot of work, but it's worth it. If you don't know how to accomplish this, you
should check out my CD set and I will walk you though every aspect of it.
2. USE TECHNIQUES AND SALESMANSHIP WHEN YOU SEE WARNING SIGNS.
What are the signs a woman might flake? Wavering about the time, place, or date is a
huge signal. Any woman who pretends not to know her schedule for the coming weekend,
or the next week, is probably lying. The busiest people, more than anyone else, know what
they're doing every day at every time. It's the only way they can accomplish all the things
they are committed to.
If she says she needs to get back to you, don't let her. Pin her down. Tell her she
can call you if she really needs to change your plans, but be sure to add that you're
usually busy and can't do last-minute plans.
Try a teasing approach. Don't let flaky behavior be a taboo subject. Say, "Oh man,
you are SO one of those girls that flakes at the last minute. I'm not even going to
leave my cell phone on. If you're not there within five minutes, I'm going out without
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you. You'll be missing out on the greatest opportunity of your life, ME, just because
you're a flaky girl, hahaha! You'll never be able to live with yourself!"
Once a girl has protested that she isn't a flake, she is much more likely to show up
just to prove you wrong.
Brad:
Woman:
"Penciling me in?"
Brad:
"Well, I guess I can put you down in ink if you're 1000% sure you're
going to be there and be on time. But if I put you down in ink and you
screw up I'm going to get into a LOT of trouble with the central office.
Are you for sure? Are you for real? I mean really, really real."
Be the squeaky wheel. Send her a text, an e-mail. Tell her something you "forgot"
to tell her already about directions, or the time, or actually change the time by a few
minutes.
There is nothing wrong with calling to confirm either. The morning of your plans, or
the night before, give her a casual call or e-mail saying, "Just checking to make sure
we're still on for tomorrow/tonight/this weekend?" Don't let this be a weak point,
where you suddenly confess how much you've been looking forward to seeing her,
how much miss her, or how beautiful she looks. Do use it as a final chance before
the meeting to raise her interest. Say something hysterical just happened to you at
work, and you can't wait to tell her about it.
Sometimes it's good to force the situation to come to a head. Listen to your instincts.
If you're sensing that she might not show up, come right out and say it. Don't be a a
baby about it or make a big deal, but do bring it up. If she REALLY doesn't want to
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meet up with you, you're better off finding out on the phone. You can save a lot of
time and energy this way.
Keep in mind that if you're going to use techniques and salesmanship, you must back this
up with real value and a good time when she shows up. Techniques give you a chance to
make a good impression. They don't make the impression for you.
3. BE PERSISTENT
Most people believe that if a girl flakes on you once, you should never talk to her again.
Sometimes it's better to stay persistent. Even if a girl stands you up once, if you still want
her, there's no reason you shouldn't get her.
1) I've had a few girls stand me up, and by staying persistent I've been able to get
those girls EVERY SINGLE TIME! I use a technique I call the Double Flake
Reversal.
Make sure you have a Plan B. Do you really want to spend your afternoon leaving
whiny messages on some girl's voice mail? Hell no. If you got dressed up, go to a
new bar and try some approaches. Call some other women whose numbers you've
got, and see if any are free last-minute. Don't, under any circumstances, let those
women know you've just been stood up. Say you found out you don't have to work
at the last minute, or some time suddenly freed up. Make them believe theyve just
hit the jackpot because you're actually available on a weeknight/weekend/second
Tuesday of the month!
If all else fails, hit the gym, buy some new clothes, re-read this book or do something
else to improve your skills with women. Not only will it prevent you from wasting
your time, it will keep your confidence level high and your mind focused on your
goals.
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Look at it this way: you may have lost an erratic woman, but you've gained a free
night! Do not let this be a setback for you. It is a normal part of dating around. You
can always reel that girl in again later.
2) A day or two later, call or email the flaky girl and tell her you're really sorry you
didn't show up the other day and that something came up. Promise next time you'll
make it up to her. You're going to imply that you actually flaked on her, and then
quickly move on to a new topic. Don't dwell on it.
Why does this work? The woman will be experiencing guilt because she didn't show
up. She knows it was the wrong thing to do. The right thing to do would have been
to call and cancel, but she is trained to be conflict-averse, so she flakes and then
feels guilty about it. When you casually apologize about flaking on her it absolves her
of this guilt. She's not mad because a small amount of flaky behavior is considered
acceptable and normal. Now she's more interested in you BECAUSE you flaked on
her. You're showing her you had more important things to do and you're not some
needy loser who plans his whole day around some insignificant date. Very few men
would ever miss a date with an attractive woman. Only high caliber guys would do
that. By flaking on her, you put yourself in the high caliber category.
I know this sounds pretty far out, but it's worked for me several times.
3. Set up a new time to hang out. Now that you've been through this mutual-flake
situation, she may feel great. She might say Hey it's OK, I didn't show up either.
Then you can chalk the whole thing up to a mix-up and start over.
4. This time play harder to get. Tell her you can't hang out this week, but you'll call her
soon to make plans. Tell her you're SO SORRY you don't have time for her, and you
REALLY WANT TO SEE HER. Lay it on thick, like this: I am so sorry. I know I have
to make some time to see you. I'm really swamped, but I promise we'll get together.
I won't forget about you. Next week for sure....or wait, no, the week after. YES For
sure! We'll hang out soon.
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This is how someone in high demand talks. This is how the neglectful boyfriend talks. This
is how your favorite uncle used to talk when you wanted to go to the movies every day.
Women get obsessed over guys who are unavailable and hard-to-get. Now you've turned
the tables and she is chasing you. Leave her wanting more and call her back a week later.
Group Dates
Ill make this simple. Never agree to a group date. That goes twice for double dates. It
doesn't matter if it's your friends or her friends; it's never a good idea. For those of you
who love a good argument, read on.
Remember all that talk about creating an "us" against "them" environment on your meetups? Chances are, that's not going to happen if you actually like the people you're hanging
around. Making fun of your friends is only going to make you look like a jerk to your date
and lose you a lot of friends. Making fun of her friends is social suicide.
Warning: dont make fun of her friends even (especially!) if she makes fun of them first.
This is nothing but a trap. The last thing you want is to be dating a woman whose friends
all hate you.
Also, going out in a group doesn't give you the privacy you need to establish any intimacy.
It will sabotage your focus and hers, and before you know it, you'll be saying goodnight at
her door and getting that lame kiss on the cheek.
Being part of a group makes her uncomfortably aware of what her friends are thinking
about her, or what YOUR friends are thinking of her, if shes flirting, kissing, or going back
to your apartment. It gives her a million excuses not to follow your lead. She has to go
with her roommate back on the subway. Her ride is leaving. Her sister is bored.
I mean it. Just say No to group outings and group dates. If a woman suggests one, say
you're busy and set another meeting when she'll be alone. Try a weekday night, if she
seems like a very social girl who always has plans with friends over the weekends. Or try
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meeting up on a Saturday or Sunday morning when the rest of your friends will be sleeping
in. Invite her to do something that doesn't lend itself to a group outing, like taking a free
Salsa lesson, taking a long walk or hike in a park, or renting bikes.
You might be thinking, how is a group date different than the whirlwind party date or the
"My World" dates I discussed? The difference is in that both of those scenarios you arrive
with the woman, and you leave with the woman. The two of you are isolated in your own
world among other people one or both of you know. In fact, the whirlwind date only works
if you keep that hectic pace and never stop long enough to really socialize. If she wants to
stay and talk to her friends more than she wants to go somewhere else with you, you've
lost her attention.
The Last Resort Dinner Date
I know, I know--I just told you a thousand times never to go on a dinner date. However,
it's possible that you might find yourself in a position where it's unavoidable, and I want
you to be prepared to make the most of this situation. Ill keep this short, since it's a topic
that's been discussed ad nauseum in other mainstream sources.
On a dinner date, be sure that:
1. You choose where to go. Pick a place you are familiar with, and that she is not. This
makes it a bit more of a "My World" scenario. Extra points if you already know the wait
staff and the menu.
2. You are familiar with the venue, excited about it, and knowledgeable about the
food. You should be enthusiastic about food in general. This shows the woman you are
cultured and have discerning tastes.
3. You open the door for her, pull out her chair, ask her what she wants before
the waiter/waitress arrives, and then order what she tells you she wants. That
kind of chivalrous stuff works great. It accentuates the masculine/feminine differences and
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takes her further out of her "every day" boring state of mind, and more into a hyperfeminine state of mind. It's a short jump from hyper-feminine to sexually submissive.
Otherwise, all the same ground rules apply. Take the lead. Tease her lightly and have fun.
Make sure no one is feeling pressured in any way. Choose the location of the restaurant
carefully and, after dinner, remember to travel in the direction of your sex-venue of choice.
NEXT UP: The wrap up. I'm going to drum some of this stuff into your head one last time.
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and movies she would enjoy being at way more with her friends or family than any strange
guy.
This book is not a guide to every aspect of meeting women, just how to set up dates. As
you read through these chapters, you may have been unclear about references I made to
topics such as how to approach women, fashion, or physical escalation. For more info on
these topics, be sure to check out my other books and CDs.
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A college professor who has been around the world meeting the greatest thinkers of
our time.
By spending time around these people and learning about how they think, how they
process their successes and failures and how they adapt to the changing demands of being
successful, I've learned lessons so deep that they are almost impossible to put into words.
Emulating successful people is an important part of developing your identity. If you work
as hard as I have and learn from the best, anything is possible!
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A: OK, that's fine. There's nothing wrong with taking things a bit more slowly. Just follow
the same formulas. Go ahead and bring the woman home, or go to her house, then hang
out for a while but don't have sex.
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