Bryan Gonzalez

Professor Beadle
Eng115 TR 11am
8 December 2016
Writing Improvement
Throughout the course of the semester, we wrote a total of three progressions, or essays,
each with their required set of assignments. Through completing these assignments, getting help
from the professor, my peers, and learning resource center, and correcting mistakes from the
prior progressions my writing had improved by the end of the course. My writing improved
because by the end of the course I was able to make better analysis, more effectively revise my
papers, and develop improved quote lead-ins.
During the semester, Id say one of the things I struggled with the most was probably
analysis, since there was always at least one quote in which I would get the needs more
analysis comment. This was definitely a wake up call since I was always under the assumption
that my work had plenty of good and well-written analysis. Luckily, the course helped me work
on and develop this skill and I went from a mere sentence of analysis in my Progression II: In
doing this, society cements the belief that a woman must be beautiful in order to be able to
succeed or at least have a pleasurable experience in life (Gonzalez 2) to multiple sentences of
analysis:
In doing this, society cements the belief that a woman must be beautiful in order to be
able to succeed or at least have a pleasurable experience in life. This then, in extension,
harms women since it generates womens high sense of insecurity and blocks any
perception of their good qualities. Furthermore, a woman might seek to correct these
imperfections through unhealthy means such as plastic surgery (Gonzalez 2).

It can be evidenced in the quotes that my analysis improved in terms of length, in this particular
case from one to three sentences. As for the quality of the analysis, that has been and always will
be determined by my professor, however if you were to ask me, I would say that the quality did
go up. I would say this not simply for the purposes of this essay, but because I looked at the
quote from different perspectives and even examined and included further implications that
could result from the treatments and mindsets discussed in my second progression.
Revision is another valuable and important concept/skill that this class has taught me and
helped me develop, something that I also previously struggled with or just completely
overlooked. This skill was adopted and worked on countless times because of the many steps that
had to be taken to submit an essay, from proposal to peer review draft to the final draft. Each step
I had to look it over at the very least twice and make sure that it was an acceptable essay. Though
this was more a mental growth/change, for the purpose of evidence I revised my Progression I
essay to include: Society demands these different gender performances in different ways, for
example post-World War II, the men were celebrated and praised for proudly serving their
country and expected to return to their jobs. The women on the other hand, even though they
assumed many mens jobs and domestically held the country afloat, were praised for staying at
home, cooking, cleaning and raising the kids (Gonzalez 2). This quote is particularly special
because it shows revision, added content to my essay which was previously not there at all that
through feedback from my professor I realized needed to be added. On top of that it is added
analysis, so it could double as evidence for my developing analytical skills. As I previously
mentioned, this skill gain and development was something that was more mental rather than
physical. By that I do not mean that there is no physical evidence that I improved on revision
because as shown, there is, but rather that because of this class I was able to look at my essay and

actually make revisions and improvements. In high school I would always submit my writing as
soon as I was done. I had this nasty habit of not being able to look back on it and not even trying
to, but as I quickly came to realize, that was not something that I could do in this class, let alone
in any university writing and that revision is actually one of the most important steps and
processes to writing.
Quote lead in is another area where I have improved in because of this class. Thanks to
constant talks, reminders, and exercises about the quote sandwich model I have been able to up
my game with quotes, specifically the lead-in in this case. During high school quote lead-ins,
aside from the main part of analyzing, was yet another area that I struggled in. Thanks to this
class however I picked up on some tricks on how to execute them such as in this lead-in: A
prime example of a recent, resounding change in gender can be viewed in Kantrowitz and
Wingerts work: (Gonzalez 3). Before this class and even at the beginning of it, I would often
not have a lead in, making quotes seem out of place, as the quote for this set up was before I
revised it, or I would lack the ability to deliver a good/acceptable lead in. After the class, trial
and errors, and of course revision, I am now better suited for setting up a quote. I learned that a
lead-in must set the reader up for what they are going to read in the quote, similarly to how an
introduction sets up an essay. That is done effectively by generating a context for the quote,
essentially establishing a part of the reason for why it is there aside from the analysis and this
would benefit sometimes from a bit of paraphrasing for the quote, but caution must be taken as
since one does not want to basically spoil the quote or its reason for being there.
The result is that because of this course, the lectures, the professor edits, the peer reviews,
the drafting process and all other things associated with it my writing improved. While my
writing did improve in other aspects throughout the course, these three are probably the most

drastically or at least to me, the most noticeable. I am of course grateful for this amazing course,
the knowledge, skills, and even friends I picked up along the way were well worth any struggle. I
hope that most of my future classes are like this and that anyone who reads this gets to
experience a similar growth/improvement.