THE FEMALE MUSLIM FROM CHILDHOOD TO WIDOWHOOD

Hamid Sanni
Status of a female Child: Historical Context
I will like to commence this lecture by tracing the historical context in which a female child finds
herself not only among the early Arabs but also at different ages. I want to make reference to Q
3:35 where Allah narrated the story of the wife of Imran it goes thus:
Allah heard when the wife of Imran said, "O my Rabb!
I dedicate to Your service what is in my womb.
Please accept it from me. You alone hear all and know all."
When she gave birth to a girl instead of a boy, she said:
"My Rabb! I have given birth to a girl," - Allah knew
very well what she had delivered - "and that the male
is not like the female, I have named her Maryem (Mary)
and I seek Your protection for her and her children
from the mischief of Shaitan, the accursed."
It is very clear from the above quotation that she preferred to have a male child and she was a bit
disappointed when the child turn round to be a female child.
The Arabs of the ignorance age used to be buried their female children alive based on the belief
that female children can not fight in wars. A vivid description of the Arabs whenever they are
given a female child is related in Q16: 58-51
Whenever the news of a female child is announced to any one of
them, his face darkens and he chokes with inward gloom.
He hides himself from his people because of the bad news he has
heard, asking himself whether he should retain her with disgrace
or bury her in the dust. Beware! Evil is the judgement they make
about Allah.
Out of contempt for Allah, the unbelievers ascribed female children to Him. They believed that
the Angels and their Idols are daughters of Allah.
Islam as a redeemer of Feminine dignity
Islam, the civilizing force, came to teach man that Allah created him from a pair of male and
female. Both sexes are of equal importance. The difference lies in gender qualities. In other
words, there are things man can do by nature that woman cannot and vice versa. To show the
importance attached to the status of feminine, Allah dedicated a whole long Surah in Quran to
women (Suratun Nisah) Chapter of Women. Such privilege was not given to their male
counterpart. The First verse of the Chapter emphasizes the creation of mankind from both male
and females. It reads thus:
O mankind! Have fear of your Rabb, the One who
created you from a single soul, from that soul He
created its mate, and through them He spread
countless men and women. Fear Allah, the One in
whose name you demand your rights from one

another and the ties of relationship; surely Allah is

watching you very closely.
Furthermore, Islam gives equal rewards to the religious activities carried out by any body
regardless of his gender. Allah says in Q 3 195
So their Rabb answers their prayers, saying: " I will not
let the good deed of any worker among you, whether
a male or a female, be wasted. You are the offspring of one another
A Female Muslim at Childhood
In the first instance, Islam rescued a female child from being buried alive. This act was
condemned totally by Islam. Muslims were made to realize that on the day of resurrection, those
female children buried alive shall demand justice from Allah against their parent.
when the infant girls buried alive (here reference is made to
the Pre-Islamic Arab custom of burying new born girls alive)
will be questioned. for what sin she was killed; Q81: 8-9
The Noble prophet Muhammad (SAW) recommended the shaving the head of a child, be it male
or female, killing a ram on 7 th day and giving him or her a good meaningful name. The parents
should be responsible for his / her upbringing. At the tender age of seven, he or she should be
taught how to observe Salat. At ten he / she should reprimanded for failure to observe Salat. At
ten also, both male and female children should be separated in bed. At sixteen, he/ she should be
made to understand the type of friend to keep because this can go a long way to influencing their
behaviour.
The Noble Prophet recommended a special treatment of the female child. He used to give them a
preferential treatment because of their very tender nature. He is reported to have declared that
whoever has two female children and discharged his duties towards them until he handed them
over to their husbands, such parent shall be very close to him in paradise.
Much emphasis is placed on female education in Islam. Training a male is equated to training a
single soul while training a female is equated to training a whole nation. That was the reason
while the Noble Prophet earmarked Thursday for training women when they sent their delegate to
request for that from the Prophet.
A Female Muslim as a wife.
Unlike the practice among the Arabs of the Jahiliyyah period, womans consent and that of her
father should be sought accordingly before a marriage bond could be contracted.
The Noble prophet recommended that If a man with whom you are pleased with his religion and
character come to seek the hand of your daughter in marriage, give her to him, or else you will
cause societal problem. We can all see what late marriage has turned the female folk of our
society to. Some are not better than dogs in terms of promiscuity. Islam also encourages young
men to get married, as soon they are able to support a wife. Once that is done, half of their
religion is guaranteed, they should fear Allah on the remaining half.

A dowry should be given to a woman for marriage. This is her exclusive right. There is no limit to
the amount of dowry to be given to a woman though the noble Prophet encouraged lower rate to
encourage marriage. The leader of the faithfuls, Umar bn Khatab, tried to peg down the maximum
dowry to a certain amount, during his reign as the Khalifat, a woman challenged him openly for
that and Umar gave up the idea.
Islam makes provision for polygamy considering the percentage of women to men and due to the
very nature of women that might not give room for conjugal relation in certain periods such as
during their menstrual term, and during Nifas.( child birth blood). Yet a strong condition is placed
on this polygamy. A man should deal with them in a fear manner. Allah says in Q 4:3
If you fear that you shall not be able to treat the orphans with
fairness, (then you should not marry the women with orphan children;)
marry other women of your choice: two, three or four. But if
you fear that you will not be able to maintain justice between
your wives, then marry only one or any slave girl you may own.
That will be more suitable, so that you may not deviate from
the Right Way.
On the issue of justice among the wives, Allah explains further that though absolute justice
between more than one wife is not humanly possible; man should not incline totally to one at the
expense of the other. This is contained in Q 4:129
It is not possible for you to do justice between your wives
even if you wish to do so; therefore, (in order to comply with
Divine Law,) do not lean towards one wife to the extent that
you leave the other hanging in air. If you work out
a friendly understanding and fear Allah, Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.
A woman has a right to make monogamy a condition for her marriage. Any man who has the
courage and emotional capability and his able to play justice among the wives can go ahead to
marry more than one wife. The noble Prophet used to say after he has done justice among his
wives Oh my Lord! This is my judgement on what I have capability as a man, do not penalize
me for what I lack control over it i.e. love because that is subject to some circumstances such as
the conduct of the women and some other things. Whenever the Noble Prophet wanted to travel,
he would conduct a sort of balloting among his wives to determine which one among them would
accompany him on that journey. He used to warn seriously against injustice among women
because whoever does not play justice among his wives shall be raised up on the day of
Recompense with a bent side.
It is part of the roles of a man to fulfil the conjugal right of his legal wife. She should not be
denied her right. There was a particular case when the Noble Prophet entered the room of Aishat
and then rushed out. Aishat followed him to find out the reason for that. The noble Prophet later
explained to her that Angel Gabriel came to inform him that the night was the night of fifteenth
day of Shaban. The night is strongly recommended for Ibadah. Rasullullah sought her
permission before embarking of the Ibadah in order not to rub her of her conjugal right. By
implication a man should seek the permission of his wife before violating her conjugal right even
if he wants to embark on an act of Ibadah.
A man is expected to provide the wife with her basic necessity of life such as feeding, shelter,
clothing etc according to his capability. Allah says in Q65: 7

Let the rich man give according to his means,

and the poor man give according to what Allah
has given him. Allah does not charge a man
with more than He has given him; soon Allah
may bring ease after hardship.
Any man that fails to spend accordingly on his wife has lost part of his control on her. The Noble
Prophet explained that a penny spent on ones family is more rewarding than the one spent on
Jihad. And when women come with their negative behaviours, man should absorb it. They did it
to the noble Prophet to the extent that he boycotted them for some time before the issue was later
resolved. During the reign of Umar bn l-Khatab as the Khalifah, a man came to report the
negative attitudes of his wife to him as the leader of the faithfuls, On getting there, he met the
wife of Umar uttering bad words to him and insulting him. The complainant turned back without
saying a word to Umar. Umar called him back to know why he came to see him in the first
instance. The man said that he actually came to lunch complain about the attitudes of his wife, but
what he met on ground with the Amir was even greater than his own complain. Umar replied that
he was absorbing the attitudes due to some other positive sides of women.
A Muslim Woman as a widow / divorcee
Islam attached much importance to kindness to a woman who is bereaved of her husband. She
should be assisted. Whoever renders her such assistance shall find a huge reward with Allah.
The most detested lawful thing in the sight of Allah is divorce. Islam, though it is permitted as a
last resort. Quran has put some measures in place to curb it. But when all the measures have
failed, man is allowed to divorce his wife in three different times. However, he shall be
responsible for all her expenses during the waiting period called Iddat. He must not have a
conjugal relation with her during the period unless he wants to reconcile with her. After the third
pronouncement of divorce, the woman, upon completing her waiting period shall be released to
go and marry another man. But if the previous husband realizes his mistake and intends to have
her back, he would have to wait until the new husband decides to divorce her and complete her
waiting period before he can have her back. Considering all these procedures, a man would think
twice before he divorces his wife. The whole of Q 65 is dedicated to divorce.
If a woman s work does not permit her to do her house duties, the man would employ a househelp for her. Though the noble Prophet encouraged a woman to serve her husband by herself in
order to earn the reward attached to that. He discouraged Fatimah, his daughter, when she
requested for a house-help from him. Instead of that, he recommended the glorification of Allah
for her. When a Muslim has a house-help, he/ she should not be overworked. He/she should be
assisted to accomplish his/her duties. They should not be used to nurture their masters children.
They should not be mal-treated. The master should realize that the helps were also born just like
him. Allah put them under him as a test, and Allah is equally capable to reverse the case.
Duties & Obligation of a Woman
As a child, a female should be obedient to her parents. As a wife she should do all that is possible
to please her husband. To secure Allahs pleasure she must please the husband. As a mother, she
owes the responsibility of breast-feeding her children to the maximum of two years while the man
should be responsible for her provision.

Finally, Islam accorded a woman a venerable position in life right from childhood to the end of
her life. It put her on the same footing with her male counterpart. A Muslim woman has a
peculiar mode of dressing to distinguish her from others in order not to be molested. The problem
only arise when a woman tries to assume the posture of a man in terms of dressing or other things
that are peculiar to male gender. Islam has liberated women folk already, the issue of woman
liberation or gender equality does not arise in Islam.