PAPER 1, rip the middle

class.docx
by Jack Braun

FILE

PAPER_1__RIP_T HE_MIDDLE_CLASS.DOCX (15.13K)

T IME SUBMIT T ED

11-SEP-2016 06:34PM

WORD COUNT

476

SUBMISSION ID

703783811

CHARACT ER COUNT

2396

Missing ","

Hyph.
Hyph.

Run-on
7
8

10

11

12

13

14

15

16
17

PAPER 1, rip the middle class.docx

ORIGINALITY REPORT

13

SIMILARIT Y INDEX

11%

0%

13%

INT ERNET SOURCES

PUBLICAT IONS

ST UDENT PAPERS

PRIMARY SOURCES

1
2

Submitted to South Dakota Board of Regents

St udent Paper

5%
4%

Submitted to Armstrong Atlantic State

University
St udent Paper

3%

www.alternet.org
Int ernet Source

EXCLUDE QUOT ES

OFF

EXCLUDE
BIBLIOGRAPHY

OFF

EXCLUDE MAT CHES

OFF

PAPER 1, rip the middle class.docx

GRADEMARK REPORT
FINAL GRADE

GENERAL COMMENTS

/80

Instructor
Jack,
Your paper contains good examples that connect to
McClelland's argument; however, you need to
strengthen your explanation of his argument in the
introduction and make sure that every paragraph
within your paper has a strong topic sentence that
connects to that thesis. Also, as this is a summary
paper, you need to eliminate your own response and
judgement of the author's argument and f ocus
instead on summarizing the main and supporting
points. Finally, you need to f ocus on improving your
use of in-text citations.

Here are a f ew things to consider:

-You have some f ormatting issues. You can use the
sample MLA essay in the handbook to help.
-You have a handf ul of grammatical errors, but this
is overall good and can be f ixed with some editing.
-Your paragraphs need more developing and more
connecting to the article and the main and
supporting points. T his is the biggest thing to work
on.

Let me know if you have questions. You will revise

this paper f or the f inal portf olio, and it is a good
idea to get started on that sooner rather than later.
--JL

PAGE 1

Comment 1
T he header should be right aligned.

T he header should be right aligned.

Comment 2
Your heading, like the entire paper, should be double spaced. Also, it seems that you have
extra space between your paragraphs. If you go to line spacing options, you should change
both the bef ore and af ter to 0.

Comment 3
Your paper should begin with an original title.

Comment 4
Article titles should be in quotation marks "". Book titles are italicized.

Comment 5
T his alludes to the author's argument, but you need to clearly outline the author's argument
within a thesis statement that connects to all of your paragraphs.
QM

Missing ","
Missing comma:
T hough it may not always be grammatically necessary, a comma can of ten help to prevent a
misreading. When a sentence opens with an introductory element (a phrase, clause or word that
is logically related to another phrase or clause in the same sentence), it is a great help to your
reader to place a comma af ter that introductory element. Such phrases will of ten begin with
words like "because," "while" or "although," as in the f ollowing example: "While everyone was
f ighting, the bear wandered away." As you can see, without the comma, the sentence would be
conf using.

QM

Hyph.
Hyphenate:
A compound adjective occurs when two or more words are used as a single modif ier bef ore a
noun. Such compound adjectives require hyphens in order to clarif y how the terms are to be
grouped, as in "a not-f or-prof it organization" or "twentieth-century lif e." You do not need a
hyphen, however, when one of the words in the compound is an adverb, as in "a thinly veiled
insult."

QM

Hyph.
Hyphenate:
A compound adjective occurs when two or more words are used as a single modif ier bef ore a
noun. Such compound adjectives require hyphens in order to clarif y how the terms are to be
grouped, as in "a not-f or-prof it organization" or "twentieth-century lif e." You do not need a
hyphen, however, when one of the words in the compound is an adverb, as in "a thinly veiled
insult."

QM

Run-on
Run-on sentence:

T he sentence contains two or more independent clauses. Separate the clauses with a period or
semicolon.

Comment 6
He is right about what? T his would be a good place to include his specif ic perspective
regarding government involvement rather than skirting around the issue.

Comment 7
You need in-text citations f ollowing any summary in a paragraph and f ollowing any direct
quotation. Because this is a summary paper, you should have a citation within every paragraph.

Comment 8
T his probably isn't something you need to directly quote. Use direct quotations f or phrasings
that would lose meaning if you summarized.

Comment 9
Why is there an odd page break here?
PAGE 2
PAGE 3

Comment 10
T his is a judgement--your summary should not have personal response or judgement f rom you,
the writer.

Comment 11
T his paragraph doesn't clearly connect to your thesis and McClelland's argument. You need to
begin with a strong topic sentence and then include these examples to support that topic
sentence.

Comment 12
T his is a summary paper. T his paragraph contains no summary. Focus on the article main and
supporting points.

Comment 13
Judgement.

Comment 14
You need to revise your conclusion so that it ef f ectively summarizes the core of McClelland's

You need to revise your conclusion so that it ef f ectively summarizes the core of McClelland's
argument and makes the essay f eel f inished. Eliminate your own response.

Comment 15
Insert space. Follow the f ormat of pg 211 #20 exactly, space f or space and period f or period.

Comment 16
1946-2013."

Comment 17
Your works cited page should be a seperate page with "Work Cited" centered at the top. Also,
your work cited entry should be double spaced and reverse indented.
PAGE 4