Text from my initial

WP1 submission:

An observation or
question I received
from DePiero or a
classmate:

The change(s) I
made to what I
initially wrote:

How this change

change impacts my
paper:

1. Did you know

Alzheimer's is one of
the most severe
forms of dementia?
The neurons that
produce the brain's
chemical
acetylcholine , break
communication with
other nerve cells and
ultimately die. It is a
type of dementia
that causes
difficulties with
memory, thinking,
and even behavior .

Troy, nice start so far,

my man! Make sure you
tack this punctuation
that signals "this is the
end of the sentence" to
the last word in the
sentence. In other
words, there's no need
for an extra space here.

Did you know

Alzheimer's is one of
the most severe
forms of dementia?
The neurons that
produce the brain's
chemical
acetylcholine , break
communication with
other nerve cells and
ultimately die. It is a
type of dementia
that causes
difficulties with
memory, thinking,
and even behavior.

Made my paper look

more professional

2. There are different

medications and
management strategies
that temporarily
suppress the symptoms
of the disease and help
patients return to normal
cognitive functions for
an allotted amount of
time. There is no cure
for this disease and
unfortunately as it
progresses the person
undergoes dramatic
personality changes. The
cost of caring for these
individuals isnt cheap
either. I personally think
its worth it being in the
field.

Alright, so Troy, right

now I'm thinking: I'm
reading a paper about
Alzheimer's and its
effect on the brain. This
assignment, though,
asks you to examine
how people write about
Alzheimers in different
genres, through different
perspectives (i.e., who
the author is and what
field they're in), what
"moves" they make, etc.

3. Genre is often
times defined as a
division or separate
class or even things
that are regarded as
having particular

Flow/organization
concern: Im having
trouble understanding
how this sentence (in
which you introduce
genre) builds off/onto

It was useless
information taking up
space

Nothing I changed
several sentences
leading up to this

Helped my paper
flow better and
wasnt out of the
blue

shared
characteristics.

4. In navigating
genre by Kerry Dirk
she mentions genre
is used primarily to
form, which meant
that writing in a
particular genre was
seen as filling in the
blanks.
5. Nursing reports
are written reports
that transfer
information from one
nurse to the other
nursing staff on a
daily basis.

6. A media outlet is
a publication or
broadcast that
distributes news.

the previous
sentence/paragraph,
which was about
Alzheimer's. As I read
this, it's coming totally
out of the blue. How
could you try to improve
that??
I like your use of course
reading here, Troy. Nice
job. Make sure you add
in that page # so I know
where the direct quote
is coming from.
"in the blanks" (205).
(Or whatever page # it
came from.
This sentence/idea is
coming up a bit out of
the blue for me, Troy.
Why are you talking
about nursing reports all
of a sudden?
*I, personally*, know
why because I'm
familiar with the
assignment, but you
need to make that
super-clear. Before you
start telling me about
nursing reports, could
you take a
second/sentence to tell
me... *why* you're going
to be telling me about
nursing reports? If
you're going to be
analyzng them as a
genre, find a way of
telling me that. (And
also think about *where
in the paper* it would be
best to introduce that.)
I feel a bit lost here,
Troy. You were just
starting to tell me about
nursing reports, and
then you told me that
"audience,

In navigating genre
by Kerry Dirk she
mentions genre is
used primarily to
form, which meant
that writing in a
particular genre was
seen as filling in the
blanks (251).

Gave insight where

the quote came from
in case one of my
readers wants to go
back to the page and
see the quote

Nursing reports are

written reports that
transfer information
from one nurse to
the other nursing
staff on a daily basis.
Nursing reports
consist of the nurses
writing on which the
observed during their
shift.

Adding the extra

sentence gave more
insight on how its a
unique genre itself

Media outlets which

are a publication or
broadcast that
distributes news,
which are another

This sentence relates

back to the last one
before theyre both
unique genres off my
arguement

7. Alzheimer's
association

8. Scanning is not
reading a form of
literature word for
word but simply
looking for keywords
and points and then
reading the detail
and elaboration on it.
In a nursing report
for example if the
information was
given and a
breakdown was listed
on what happens
with the Alzheimer's
disease and the
common behaviors a
patient might
display, a nurse on
duty would simply
scan the care plan
and look for
highlighted behaviors
and what to do if the
patient displays
these behaviors.

purpose,context and
tone" are important
rhetorical features.
Now, though, we're
talking about media
outlets. How come?
(You need to find a way
to tell me how/why
you're bringing this up -how/why it relates back
to your argument.)

specific genre
consisting of a lot of
writing.

Is this the name of the

organization? If so,
make sure you put it in
caps so it signals to
your reader -- yo, this is
a specific place.
I like how you brought
up "scanning" here, but
part of me was
wondering: why is he
even telling me about
scanning? What's that
got to do with anything?

Alzheimer's
Association

It gave the
organization more
creditability

Scanning is not
reading a form of
literature word for
word but simply
looking for keywords
and points and then
reading the detail
and elaboration on it.
I brought up
scanning because in
a nursing report for
example if the
information was
given and a
breakdown was listed
on what happens
with the Alzheimer's
disease and the
common behaviors a
patient might
display, a nurse on
duty would simply
scan the care plan
and look for
highlighted behaviors
and what to do if the
patient displays
these behaviors.

I stated why I
mentioned scanning
for my readers to
better understanding
my reasoning

When readers are

wondering that --- "huh?
What's this got to do
with anything?" -- that's
usually a sign that the
writer hasn't "set them
up" for what's coming
up in the paper in the
Intro. Your Intro is your
chance (as a writer) to
prep your reader for
what's coming up.