Not Anywhere

By
Ion Light

This is a free eBook. You are free to give it away (in unmodified form) to whomever you wish,
though out of courtesy I would prefer you direct people to free.ebook.com; Thank them for
showcasing my work, and the work of others featured there. There is actually some really good
authors, so explore further. Should you feel incline to quote from this eBook, or my other works,
in part or in whole, out of courtesy, mention me. Be honest: you know, if you can choke through
his grammar, hes not too bad. Remember, I write out of enjoyment, and in my spare time,
without the luxury of an editor, and though God, and everyone else, knows I need editor, until
one arrives, I am open to emails pointing out the errors of my ways.
Names and persons in this eBook are entirely fictional, and are, at minimum, the
delusional happenstance of an authors hallucinations, and therefore are exempt from
persecution. Or is that prosecution? They bear no resemblance to anyone living or dead,
including bears, unless they are untamed Furries. Except where thats clearly not true, but
hopefully, those folks have been referenced in such a way that it shows the love the author has
for them in real life; every effort to be reasonably ambiguous as to allow for plausible
deniability, or at minimum point to the alternative universe as the character source, while
allowing for just enough hope that the readers are savvy enough to make silent distinctions and
wink accordingly. But, still, should you be one of those folks without a sense of humor and
easily annoyed, just put the eBook down and slowly step away, before the book eats yours sense
of peace and rains down miniature Ewoks with capes and pointy spears. Best disclaimer: never
challenge worse. (Dont make me mention prequels.)
Oh, do I have to say it: this is not a self-help book. You should absolutely never, ever,
help yourself. That would just be wrong. I mean, think of all those poor Doctors, astrologers, and
dieticians who would be unable to make a decent living if you started thinking for yourself. That
said, if should you read between the lines and discover a pathway towards real magic, all I can
say is, dont do it. Remember that thanksgiving when you helped yourself to a second plate?
Yeah, kind of bloated and not pretty, and you spent the rest of the evening uncomfortable and
lamenting, Why didnt I stop?! Even after your mom and I both warned you not to, you still
went and helped yourself. Just stop it, before someone gets hurt.
Also, please dont consult me about magic, or esoteric matters. Yes, I am a counselor in
real life. But magic and esoteric training isnt counseling, and I cant tell you what I really want
to tell you, mostly because of the Prime Directive. That, and you cant afford me. But even if you

could, you still cant. Just compartmentalize all of this as if it were fiction and you will live a
much happier life if you just dont ask.
Oh, and all of you who want your very own tulpa; dont do it. This is not like going to the
pet store and picking out a dog. It is absolutely nothing like reading an advertisement for sea
monkeys looking like little sea people, and youre hoping to get off watching live porn in your
room, only to later discover, its just brine shrimp and you cant get off to them, nor can your get
rid of them, because, well, you spent time and money so you might as well keep them around,
but also part of you is hoping that by not killing them they might mutate into what you were
promised on the advertisement, and so you feel a sense of commitment, but I am telling you the
Simpsons and South Park already did it. Besides, you cant show any of your friends you got
sea monkeys because you know damn well theyre going to ask you, You thought the little
people were cute on the advert, didnt you? And with all of that, if you persist that having a
tupla will improve your life, and it could, but it also take you to some dark places first, just ask
Jung, well, if you want your own tulpa, do your own homework. Like asking google is a
hardship.
Oh, and if youre picking this up having not read Not Here, followed by Not There, I
think you will be okay, but just know, youre diving into the deep end. There is going to be sex.
And talking about sex. And though, you can see a James Bond film without having seen a
previous James Bond film, and have some indication that a spy is likely to engage in frivolous
sex to save the world, I am warning you now that James Bond has nothing on Jon Harister, so a
little heads up, yeah, there will be something. They dont call this erotic esoterica for nothing.
Okay, I am trying to wrap this up. All rights reserved - but some wrongs are still
available. Further, any disclaimer issued by me might be subject to change without notice.
Clearly, any society that needs disclaimers has either too many idiots, lawyers, insurance
adjusters, magicians, or all of the above. God save us all. No one else will.
This is a work in progress. Any corrections, or constructive criticism for the purpose of
story refinement is welcomed. If you choose to contact the author, you may do so at:
solarchariot@gmail.com. Please, put not anywhere in the subject line. This helps me find you
amongst the clutter. (You visit one porn site, out of pure research for the book, and suddenly
your inbox blows up (thats the story, and Im sticking to it.)) 214-907-4070 is my number. I

am not always available to take a call. I will, however, eventually, answer a text. If I dont
respond in a day, email me.

Finally, and most importantly, this book is dedicated to those who have looked past the flaws of
the grammar, and persisted because they found something meaningful in the story or the
characters. Im truly touched by those of you who have reached out. Even if you havent reached
out through correspondence, simply reading, whether you rated the book or not, is meaningful. In
my own way, I have reached out and engaged the universe, and it has responded through you.
We are not alone. Thank you for reminding me.

ENJOY!

Chapter 1
Do you remember that moment, as an adolescent, you have been found out. Yeah, no matter how
hard you tried to hide it, through longer showers, umm, reading in the middle of the day
requiring three locks bolted on your bedroom door, waiting eagerly for the adults and siblings to
leave the house and leave you alone, but suddenly they came back because of some stupid reason
like, oh, I forgot my sun glasses, and surprise, someone has caught you with your butt in the air
humping the couch in the living room, because for whatever reason, the family couch was more
erotic than your own bed.
Discovery of magic is a lot like that. We all do it. All the time, but we hide it because,
well, quite frankly, weve become perversely attached to our war stories. War stories like: OMG,
the foundation leak flooded the house, but the insurance had a secret clause that capped the
foundation leak at 5k, simultaneously, the convertible cloth top is leaking, but only when it rains,
the other car you loaned to a friend and they hydroplaned into a curve because they dont have
enough experience to let off the gas and now the tires on the left side of the vehicle that hit the
curve look like a time machine Delorean , only the truck still doesnt fly due to the lack of a flux
capacitor, and since both axels are broke, the repairs will cost more than the blue book value and
so its almost better to buy a new vehicle, though it eats at you how a perfectly good truck, other
than the broken wheels, is suddenly trash, and you heard through the grapevine your mother
died, but you didnt hear it from family but through a friend of friend of the family, which just
irritates you more about your family, you dropped your phone and it broke, the power supply on
your computer went out, and work has fired you, but you needed a medical procedure which now
wont happen in the absence of insurance, and youre trying to find a friend who is sympathetic,
but they start competing with you, Oh, you think you have it bad, and they give you their list
of grievances, not so much to block you from soliciting their help, but because they genuinely
dont have the ability to attend to anything but themselves but they start their list with how
Starbucks got their coffee wrong, and youre like, what the fuck planet are you on?! Thats
where I was. Only, I had no list of grievances. I was in Safe Haven, enjoying a pleasant morning
Joe surrounded by people I genuinely love, and touching a certain dread the same way your
tongue might probe the space where a tooth use to be.
Huey, my friend, the power of perspective has nothing on love.
Jon? I tuned back into my reality.

Loxy smiled at me. If there is such a thing as a soul mate, which I dont believe in, Loxy
Bliss would be the one. Still, I felt like a teenager who had used one too many socks to catch a
load of sperm, and the mom is wondering why I change socks so much and pushing for
information, when she should have a fucking clue not to push, because she really doesnt want to
have that conversation any more than you do. Well, not my mom, but mom son discussions in
general. My mom would be more likely to ask why I dont bring a girl home and then when I do,
shed be going off on me for bringing home some trailer trash neighbor girl, embarrassing me
and the girl, which would only inflame my libido but ensure I dont bring a girl home. The first
time I had sex with a live girl was in a graveyard. It took some convincing to get her there, but
once she discovered the joy of sex in a semi private public place, because who else goes to a
graveyard after dark, I couldnt keep her away from the place. Yeah, she later on in life freaked
out, started wearing goth clothes, sleeping in a coffin, and became a world renown medium, with
her own TV show, but is that really on me?
Um, Loxy mused. Whered you go?
Sorry, I said, watching Lester take his seat. Sabra pushed her hand towards him across
the table, fingernails at saucer level, and when her hand arrived in front of Lester, a saucer and a
cup of coffee had magically appeared, being pushed by the back of her fingernails. Knowing
magic exists and seeing it in action just never gets old. I didnt sleep well last night.
Speaking of that, Lester said, which was surprising only in that he rarely made more
than grunting sounds before completing one coffee. The next time you fuck Fersia all night,
take her damn bell collar off. I swear, there wasnt a spot in the entire Hall that wasnt
reverberating with that damn tinkle. I almost thought we had been overrun by pixies. You are
smart enough to not summon and fuck with Pixies, right? Worse than squirrels in the attic.
I almost took a moment to consider Pixies and fucking with them, but got stuck on the
accusation. I didnt fuck Fersia last night. I wasnt even here last night.
Oh, well, where were you Mr. Tom cat? Fersia asked.
With the twins, I said.
So who was with Lester began.
No, wait wait wait, Keera said eagerly. The Collin twins?
Please, Lester said. Like they would want to spend the night with a freshman. So,
Fersia, if it wasnt Jon

It was me, Loxy said, trying to rush past this and back to me. Ill try to remember to
muffle the bell next time. You were with the Collin twins again?
But I like it when you ring my bell, Fersia said.
I wanted to say something about Lesters dismissal with me and the twins but found
myself absent of words. Loxy noticed.
Whats wrong, Jon? Cat got your tongue? Loxy asked.
I, began.
Come home more often. You have an open invitation to play, Loxy said.
Speaking of play, who wants to try my new drink? Sabra asked.
Loxy was the first to put her finger to her nose. It took me a moment to realize that I was
the only one at the table not holding a finger to my nose. I frowned. Its a bit early to be
drinking, isnt it? I asked. It was beautiful morning at Safe Haven, perched above the waters of
Harister Hall.
You lost, Sir, Lester pointed out. Youre too slow and your shirts on backwards.
How does a magician of your caliber get his shirt on backwards? Esfir asked.
Embarrassed, I drew my arms in the shirt, reversed it, put my arms back through. Fersia
laughed, making a comment about how I would be lost if Loxy didnt dress me. I admit I have no
fashion sense, but I cant explain how I sometimes get my shirt on backwards. Sabra produced a
glass and three, small bottle and as she poured the light blue liquid into the glass, the frosted
symbol of our lightening patch fluoresced. The drink was layered, blue, indigo, then violet. The
blue and the violet began to trade places.
Youre not sampling your own magic, are you? Alish asked, laughing at her own joke.
Well, I have just the thing to draw you out of yourself, Sabra said, pushing the new
drink towards me. Its called the Freud Jung Bridge
You mean the Rosenberg-Einstein Bridge? I clarified.
Uh? Oh, no, I dont want to teleport you away, Sabra said. Youre already not fully
here. That could be disastrous.
Just drink it, Lester said. You dont need to understand everything.
What is your urgency in this? I asked him, finally annoyed enough with his presence
that I felt perturbed. It wasnt like he had done anything specifically wrong towards me, but he
now held my attention.

Im finally not the guinea pig is my urgency, Lester said.

Hold on, Loxy said. You created a drink that can access the unconscious, the seat of
the libido?
I see nothing bad happening with that, Keera said, clearly sarcastic.
How do I consume it? I asked, practically.
Really? Lester demanded.
Its a fair question, Sabra said. Drink it fast, then chase it with this strawberry soda.
She pushed a pinkish, bubbling drink at me that might have been Big Red substitute like Fanta.
Not that I would protest Fanta. Have you ever seen the Fanta commercials? Tell me again sex
doesnt sell.
Im not a fan of strawberry soda, I said. I would take the strawberry Fanta girl, though.
Actually, I would take the Rainbow of Fanta girls, who I am kidding.
Youre running out of excuses, now drink your damn drink, Lester said.
Im seriously perturbed by your insistence, I told him.
Oh, just drink it, everyone said, with varying degrees of amusement.
I drank the drink in one motion, put the glass down hard, paused as a grimace rolled
across my face, only to discover I was an instant fan of strawberry soda. One glass wasnt
sufficient to get the taste of the poison out of my mouth.
So, how was it? Sabra asked.
Not a fan, I said, still sucking wind, trying to be kind. My voice sounded rock star
breathless.
It would help me if you were more precise. Describe the texture, the feel, and any latent
effects, Sabra directed.
I was trying not to think about it.
Any inclinations towards your mother? Loxy asked.
Uh? Then I thought Freud. Oh! God, no. This drink better not open that fucking
door.
A fairly attractive female arrived at our table, professionally dressed in a suit, the skirt
hitting her knees, simple pumps but matching the overall intended effect, and a guys jacket. It
was so professional it could have been construed as a stripper delivery card, and I began to
wonder are they trying to celebrate my birthday, but couldnt even tell you when my birthday

was, because I had no clue about time, since I had pretty much given up all sense of space/time
since entering the University. Her pumps were just high enough in the heel to accentuate her
calves. My eyes stayed there.
Were not open till 11, Sabra was saying.
Look, I think its having an effect, Fersia said.
How can you tell, Lester asked, looking at me. That seems like his usual ogling
mode?
I wasnt ogling! She was obstructing my vision, but I couldnt seem to get the remark out.
Im looking for Jon Harister, the woman said.
I managed to get my eyes up to her breast. You could tell there were breast there, but they
were well concealed. Again, everyone put a finger to their nose, but me. The woman frowned.
She addressed me silently, holding an envelope out for me to collect.
I have something for you, the woman said when I didnt take it.
A lap dance? I asked.
Fersia covered her mouth.
Excuse me? the woman asked.
No excuse necessary, I said. May I purchase a vial of your bathwater?
Are you drunk, Sir, or always this rude? the woman asked.
Im Loxy, Loxy took over. Perhaps I can help?
I need to hand this to Jon Harister, the woman said.
A hand job, excellent idea, I said.
Are you Jon?! she asked.
Am I getting a hand job? I asked.
Maybe a bit high on the Freud, Sabra said.
You think? Loxy asked.
Are you Jon? the woman asked me again.
Depends on what youre giving me? Herpes? I asked.
OMG, she said.
Oh, fuck it, doesnt matter, just park your ass right here, I offered.
My name is Sam she began.

Sam! I sang. I am Sam, Sam I am, I would, I could, here, there, anywhere, in a house,
with a mouse
Fersia was laughing hysterically. I think everyone else was amused. Except the woman.
She thrust the envelope at me again.
Take it, Sam said.
Im not accepting anything from you until I am satisfied, I declared.
I fucking hate sorcerers, Sam mumbled, sitting on my lap. She began to grind,
reluctantly, but with sufficient force that it suggested she knew how to work it and intended to
accelerate the process in order to be done. There was no affection in it at all. Hows that?
Dont grind angry, I said, paraphrasing Groundhog Day. I was dropping into a song:
But its the pelvic thrusts that really drive you insane
I think he is about to do a spell, Keera said.
Fersia eyes had closed, and she was gyrating her hips slowly in her chair, mouthing
Lets do the time warp again
Oh, thats just the drink, Sabra said.
Maybe a bit high on the Jung, Loxy said. Youre going to need a third ingredient to
mitigate the feud between Freud and Jung.
I didnt think about that, but yeah, Sabra said.
Jung, collective unconscious, Lester said. Shit! Are you saying that drink could have
an effect on anyone in proximity?
Well, yeah, thats the whole point of the drink, Sabra said. Some people dont like to
drink, but they are curious about how it feels, hence the name Freud-Jung Bridge. I thought you
understood that, Sabra said.
Is that why I am thinking this is all pretty hot, Esfir asked, unbuttoning the top of her
blouse.
You can be more aggressive now, I told Sam. And that was not sarcasm. She reached
under herself and unfastened my belt and pants, exposing the mini magician. In doing so, I saw
her hose was held by garter belts.
Fuck me, Lester said, departing the table as if a nuclear bomb was about to be set off
and there was only minutes left allowing him to get to minimum safe distance.
You cant out run this, Loxy shouted after him.

I am sure he has enough blocks he wont be affected, Keera said.

OMG Fersia said, coming to the edge of her seat.
Sabra looked up to the left, gripping the arms of her seat, closing her eyes. Esfir was
melting into her seat, licking her lips. To keep from falling out of the seat, she braced her bare
feet against the table stand, clearly visible through the clear table top, and almost all the way to
crotch, but her hands went there. Samantha moaned, with sudden acceptance and enthusiasm.
She reached under and peeled the underwear to the side and took me inside her. She lay her
breast on the table, the left side of the face smashed into the glass, and with arms out-stretched,
she gripped the table hard, pushing her pelvis into me with such force I feared my chair might
topple if I didnt lean into her.
Are you all feeling this? Keera asked.
Oh, yeah, Loxy said, her eyes locked on me.
They were all suddenly compelled to put their hands on the table, leaning forwards in
their chairs. The table lifted as if we were summoning spirits in a sance, with Sam weighing the
table down on her end. We all came at once, and as the affects settled, the table landed hard.
Each item on the table landed out of sync with a clatter, but nothing was spilled. Everyone rested
their heads on the table, exhausted, except me. I lay my head on the back of Sams neck, hugging
her to me. She came off the table enough for me to have an idea of her breast, as her clothes were
now disheveled even though I didnt grope at all during, but was now getting a feel. She sighed,
peeled my hands off her breast, and put them on the table. Loxys hand found mine, and she held
it and squeezed, reassuringly.
I think that drink was a success, Sabra said.
Oh, yeah, they all agreed.
Damn it! Lesters voice echoed in the distance, magically delivered due to his being
enmeshed with the group.
Everyone at the table began to laugh uncontrollably. Even Sam couldnt help but laugh,
and it was a deep, genuine laugh that moved her belly and still being inside her I could feel it like
a light.
I, as if waking from a dream, found myself with a stranger on my lap, and I inside her
still. What just happened? I asked.

Samantha peeled her hands from the table, put the envelope in my hand, stood, adjusted
her underwear, then her skirt, and shivered. Youve been served, she said, and walked away.
Who was that? I asked.
I dont know, Loxy said, her head still on the table, her eyes closed.
I dont care, Keera said.
Give him another drink, Fersia said.

Chapter 2
The contents of the letter seemed to be a compulsory summons to meet with Morlon Fribourg. It
was nonspecific in temporal locality, but the letter itself did seem to have an expiration date with
which to respond, based on an hour clock that was counting down. There was an implied threat
that not meeting would result in an act of malice.
Is this binding? I asked.
You should probably talk to Doctor Handle, Loxy said. She specializes in these sorts of
things.
It took some effort for Fribourg to get that served, Alish noted. That woman had no
apparent magical abilities, so shes not from around here.
She could be support staff, off campus? Keera offered. Or part of the colony?
She clearly has had enough experience with magician that she commented how much
she hated it, I commented.
Maybe shes a pet, Fersia said, toying with the bell on her collar.
Keera scratched behind Fersias ear.
Well, I guess I will go see Doctor Handle, I said, standing up.
Dont be late to the pep rally, Loxy said.
Yeah, were all going to be wearing our lightening badges, Fersia said.
Lightening badges? Alish and I both said.
Our symbol, coat of arms thing, Fersia said, pulling her jacket sleeve out from under
her to reveal.
Oh, Alish said. I thought those were tree roots.
Really? Fersia said.
They look like tree roots, Alish assured her.
This is made of light, Fersia said.
So are tree roots, Alish assured her.
Really? Fersia said. Keera hugged her.
Loxy touched my jacket, drawing my attention to the badge. I hadnt even noticed. My
puzzled expression clearly gave me away.
You okay? Loxy asked.
Yeah, why?

Shirt was on backwards, didnt notice the addition of a lightening patch, Keera said.
Nadine Collier, engineer, arrived at the table, pink hard hat and all.
Were not quite ready to open yet, Sabra said.
Im here to inspect the additions, Nadine said.
Really? we all said.
That might explain why youre not here, Loxy mused.
You havent seen them? Nadine asked, pointing to the one closest to our table.
From our seating position, we could not see the enclosed rose at true north position of the
Harister Hall. We could see some of Loxys enclosed pine tree, tree house-home between the 12
and 3 positions, and at the three oclock position, something new: it appeared to be the top of a
bubble. We all got up, walked down into the tunnel, out of the wall and around to discover what
appeared to be a giant snow globe, minus the water, but snow falling inside the globe. There was
a city in the distance, which might have been a mock up, miniature city, or it might have actually
been a distant city, or a city that was affected by the refraction of light through the globe. The
perspective was so ideal, it kept drawing our attention to it. No matter how you walked around it,
the city stayed at the same distance. If there was a road going to the city, it could not be seen due
to the fresh snow fall. There was a moon gate that led, presumably, into the globe and hopefully
into the city, otherwise there would be a good walk through the snow. My brain was thinking,
Emerald City, with the snow fall intended to counter the effect of poisoned poppies.
Wow, Fersia said for us all.
You said additions? I asked, as if staring into the globe wasnt magical enough to be
presently satiated.
You really havent noticed? Nadine asked.
We hadnt. So, Nadine led us around to the nine oclock position, where there was
another snow globe like structure, only this was full of water, with an underwater city in the
distance. There was an air pocket at the top of the bubble. The floor of this snow globe was
covered with white sand, a scattering of sea stars, some coral, fish, a treasure chest with a half
emerged, sunken galleon, and, most prominently, and eye capturing, sea monkeys. And I am not
talking about brine shrimp, but actual human sized sea monkeys as illustrated by Joe Orlando
in all the comic book ads of the 1970s that made young men lust for having sea people of his
very own. And a lot of disappointed kids who discovered the reality of advertising could be

extremely misleading. And it wasnt just kids, because even adults bought into it. For example,
my older brother asked mom to buy them for him, and she refused, saying: I dont want you
looking at naked people. Which, kind of just makes you wonder, and increases the wanting to
look at naked people, which was what we did as hunters and gathers for at least hundreds of
thousands of years, and if you believe the hype that life in antiquity was better than the present,
seeing naked people probably kept us well adjusted.
You use to dream about being with sea monkeys, didnt you? Loxy reminded me.
OMG, I sighed. I would have rather that had stayed secret, but was actually relieved that
it could be said out loud without me feeling judged by my friends. If I wake up to find myself
fucking a brine shrimp, I am not going to be happy, I said.
If you cum, I would say you were really happy, Keera said.
Fersia laughed.
One of the female sea monkeys approached and put her hand on the inside of the globe.
Mesmerized, I approached and placed my hand over hers, on the outside of the glass. She
mouthed the words hello, but I had a bizarre fantasy flash through my head. She was saying
Spock, no! And I was responding, You have always been, and shall always be, my friend.
Jon? Loxy asked.
I was drawn out of the fantasy. The female sea monkey laughed and swam back to her
group, and they all seemed to be chattering excitedly. I looked to Loxy.
Did you say something? I asked.
Wow, Loxy said. Where are you?
This is a normal effect of addendums, Nadine assured her.
Im losing my mind? I asked.
No, youre expanding it, Nadine assured me. So, if youll excuse me, I would like try
and get my work accomplished before the pep rally. And as the patriarch of this Hall, you really
need to attend this one, Jon.
I wonder whats going to go in the other positions, Keera mused.
Oh, thats right? Do we have a say? I would really like that tea shop where the patrons
pet cats, Fersia said.
With all the additions, and what may come, you might as well move in, Nadine, I said,
jokingly.

I accept, Nadine said.

Dont we have to run it by a committee? Esfir asked.
I think he just bypassed the committee, Loxy said, amused. That was spirit, Jon. There
is no accidental remarks.

Doctor Colleen Handle was in her office when I arrived and a male secretary, looking fairly
impish made me wait. The imp was more human than true imp, but sometimes, if you looked at
him through your periphery vision, there was this impression that he was a Gremlin that had
eaten after midnight, with glowing red eyes, which instantly brought my eyes back to him. He sat
at his desk, hands folded in his lap, and stared back. There was nothing on his desk suggesting he
had things to do. He just sat there, looking at me. Stoically. I got the impression he could be in
the Blue Brothers car, flying through a mall, things breaking, people running, police car sirens
roaring, and he would be just as calm and cool as Jake Elwood, just staring, maybe making an
occasional comment: you just ran over a baby. Cool.
Mr. Harister, he said, jarring me back out of my fantasy. His sunken cheeks and thin
lips were spooky. His tuft of hair fell went up and spilled over like a waterfall. In truth, he was a
Muppet that went very wrong. She will see you now.
A door to the right of the Imps desk slid open. It was hard to see in, as the light inside
the room seemed to pool in the door frame. I got up, walked over, and pushed through thin sheet
of light that conformed to my body like pushing into a balloon. I broke into Colleens presence
with a pop. She sat in an egg chair, a hovering egg chair, in an alcove which was all windows,
like a bubble blister on a ship. No, better, it was the Emperors window on the second Death
Star, only instead of space and stars and a battle, it was blue skies and clouds. I was curious
enough to want to get a closer look out the window, but I had to do my compulsory ogling of
Doctor Handle. The rest of the office was empty. No books. No artifacts. No possessions, or
nick-knacks, not even a layer of dust, as if this was a clean room, but not like a clean room
Dexter might want to make clean up easier.
Doctor handle was a thirty something professional, lawyer type. She was not big
breasted, and an outline of a bra was discernable under her white blouse. Her tan skirt hit mid
ankle, but was up a little due to her sitting legs crossed in her chair. Her legs and feet were bare.

Her hair was down, and pooled over her left shoulder. Over all, the she had the look of someone
who runs on a daily basis, perhaps even competes in marathons.
You may come have a closer look, if you like, Colleen said.
What? I asked.
Come closer to me, Colleen said more than asked.
Oh, I said, and approached the alcove where her egg chair hovered. Now that I was
closer, I had to look out the window.
Colleens chair turned with me as I stepped up and approached the window. The window
over looked the campus. The whole of the campus was visible, like looking at an elaborate
gaming map with toy artifacts, or like from a helicopter looking down, as opposed to being in the
top of the building looking down. I had a moment of vertigo and touched her chair to steady
myself. The chair started to drift away increasing my unsteadiness but then pushed back to hold
its position.
Yes, that is Safe Haven, Colleen said. Technically, the whole planet is Safe Haven,
but below is the main campus. You can see Harister Halls tower over there. Its actually kind of
nice, like a monument, but I would have preferred it next to the shore, and would have made
your tower a lighthouse, but then again, given how much your place is changing, and how
quickly, its probably good you set up next to the Penetrable Forest. But you didnt come to
discuss landscapes and architecture or property rights, did you?
I brought up my summons. I got this, I began.
She held up a hand, blocking.
You have not paid me for the last representation, Colleen said.
I blinked, lowered my arm. That wasnt like complimentary University service?
Oh, youre such a freshman, Colleen said. Havent you learn there is always an
exchange rate when it comes to magic? I defended you, I get paid. Thats how it works.
I ended up being pushed into an early internship and punished for something I didnt
really feel like I should have even been called out on, I pointed out.
Oh, weve already gone over all that, and had I not been there, your outcomes might
have been more severe, so, suck it up, lets move on, but you still have to compensate me for my
time, Colleen said.

Fine, I said, putting away the letter. I prepared to pay in full by first unbuckling my
pants.
Colleens stop hand went back up. I hesitated, belt undone, hands on the button to my
trousers. What are you doing?
Preparing to pay you, I said. Standard fair?
Oh, I dont want your dick, sir, Colleen said.
I swallowed, a little embarrassed that I had made such an assumption. Then again, so far
at Safe Haven, all payment had come at a sensual price. You want money?
Colleen laughed. What good is money to a sorcerous?
I dont know, I said. You might buy a purse?
Such a sexist remark, Colleen said, dismay evident on her face. Do I look like the kind
of woman who has a lot of props to carry around in order to express my femininity?
No, Mam, I said, apologetically.
Oh, Jon, dont do that, either, Colleen said. So, you put me in a box. People do that.
We make assumptions. The fact that you expressed it at least allows me to correct your vision so
you can see me correctly. Its not like youve spent a lot of time with me and should know
better.
I stood corrected. Her statement was fair. I suppose, if she wanted, she could blast me out
of the water with legal rants and definitions to support arguments about how incredibly lame I
was, but her tone and mannerisms made our conversation feel more casual, over the table at
brunch sort of feel. That, too, was actually a courtesy. Unless the old adage that a lawyer being
nice to you has an agenda. No, that wasnt it. She wasnt being nice, but she wasnt being a
lawyer. She was just being herself. I fastened my belt back.
How would you like to be compensated? I asked.
Colleen extended her feet out towards me. I blinked. Her calves were definitely runner
calves, toned. Her feet were perfect, smooth skin, gentle contours, so, if she were a runner, she
also took care of her feet, the toes perfectly proportioned, with purple nail polish, and a star on
the big toe nails. I met her eyes, and noticed she seemed to be patiently expecting service.
You want me to massage your feet? I asked.
That would be a good start, Colleen said.
You want me to fuck your feet? I asked.

Sir, I said I dont want your dick, Colleen said. And I dont want you to worship the
ground I walk on, but I do want you to worship my feet. I want you to massage them. I want you
to suck my toes. I want you to lick my soles, nibble on my ankles, while massaging my calves,
and pay equal attention to both feet, for a minimum of one hour, or till I cum.
I blinked.
You have a problem with that? Colleen asked.
No, I said. But I was curious. You can orgasm from feet licking?
Depends on your level of attention, but yes, it is possible, Colleen said. Again, youre
just a freshman and I dont expect you to understand these things, but your dick isnt the primary
sexual organ. Your brain is. Every periphery extension to the brain can be used for sex. It is only
because you have assigned the focus of your sexuality to the penis that you have limited
yourself. Hell, I know a paraplegic who can have a full body orgasm by having his thumbed
suck. And, maybe, if parents didnt tell their kids to stop sucking their thumbs, wed all have
access to that path to bliss. Anyway, here, start with this.
Colleen produced a vial out of thin air and handed it to me. It was a massage oil that was
also eatable. To make things more comfortable for me, she lowered her chair so that I could sit in
the alcove, blue skies behind me, and extended a leg rest from her chair. The focus of the light
coming into the window made Colleen seem brighter. And it was then I realized, the whole room
was an alcove with windows, with no trace of a door. It was like she was in her own bubble
above the world.
I know a thing or two about massage. I have studied and passed exams, and I am
qualified to get a license as a masseuse, but chose not to follow it. A good masseuse can stop the
chatter of his or her brain, and focus on a person. Most the time, I can do that. Like, before I
began the foot massage, I brought my hands up into Namaste prayer hands, closed my eyes,
and said a prayer. I was able to raise the temperature of my hands. It was a skill I learned initially
to reduce migraines, but later, in massage school, turned out to be a pretty neat trick everyone
wanted to experience as we massaged each other. I am not a good masseuse. You can argue, I am
an ethical one, which explains why I didnt get my license and start my own business. It was also
another example of failure with my family, You cant even get your license, though they
assumed I couldnt pass the test as opposed to I just didnt apply for the license. Sometimes, I
wish I hadnt shared my interest with family. Now, I am really good at massage, and you may

ask, how can you be good at massage, but not a good masseuse? I was unable to keep pure
thoughts. There are legal clauses that say if a massage therapist gets aroused for any reason, they
have to end the session, and not see that person. Now granted, most therapist probably just
ignore their feelings and push through the massage and no one ever knows, cause, in truth, most
the time, people dont know what the therapist is actually thinking. I consider that an okay
therapist. Trust me, I imagine all kind of therapist hating while touching me, just because of my
own self-loathing, and it took some genuine people in massage school to convince me that
touching me wasnt a chore, but even with that it took work on my part to excise those mental
tapes.
Back to the sex. Due to the fact I was sexualized early, due to the fact I was raised in an
environment where the only touch was physical abuse or sexual abuse, due to the fact that my
culture, both society at large and the circles I ran in, discouraged any sort of physical touch, my
biggest barrier to being a good therapist was separating my conditioned response of touch being
an act of intimacy. And maybe, all touch should be consider affection and intimacy. And, I could
be professional enough to be massaging a female and not vocalizing my lust for her, but every
rub would be me worshiping her body. There can be kindness in there. There could be genuine
love and affection and promoting health in there, but it was flavored with sex. Also, and again
mostly likely because of my history, I would not be able to have a male client. That, again,
reveals just how sexualized physical touch is in general for me. No, I am not afraid of cuties or
that in massaging a male means that I will be gay, though my moms voice is in my brain saying
just that. I dont want to massage a hairy back or legs. There would be no way for me to turn off
my revulsion to seeing an overweight, beer belly male. I would even decline a body builder, fire
fighter male from a calendar, because somehow oiling him up just sends me places I dont want
to travel. And the fireman most likely deserves a genuine massage, given the hard work low pay
and lack of real praise of service, except after a crisis, but then is quickly forgotten. There are
also some women I wouldnt want to massage. So, in short, I am not a good masseuse.
But at Safe Haven, where the culture was more permissive, and a whole hell of a lot less
judgmental, I could engage in an act of massage even while channeling sexual thoughts. It
certainly helped that Colleen had really attractive feet. Her feet and calves were so perfect, I
imagined she would likely be called in by Hollywood producers to be the lower half body double
for the celebrities who are only attractive from the waist up. Take Meg Ryan for example. I love

Meg, so this is not disparaging her in the least, but she has a really quirky walk in person, which
is evidence that she is more cerebral, hence her great acting ability, and so sometimes, you think
youre looking at her feet walking, but really, those arent her legs. Now, she still has great legs,
but just saying, when youre worshiping stars, you might want to prepare yourself that what you
see at the theatres isnt necessarily truth.
There is a way to massage the feet where pushing into the soles can light up every organ
in the human body. The feet are probably also the most abused and ignored body part, until they
are in such bad shape that theyre almost unrecoverable, which is strange when you consider just
how important feet are. We were meant to be barefoot, walking the Earth, connected with all
there is, but we cover them with soles that are usually insulators, disconnecting us from the
magnetic pulse of our Great Mother. (Fortunately, Mothers heart light still encompasses us,
even if it doesnt always get channeled up through us.) Stand barefoot next to a tree, put a hand
on the tree, and say your prayer out loud, and the tree will broadcast your prayer better than any
radio station, and every tree in proximity will pass it on, and send it into the earth and sky.
Colleen moaned, bringing my attention back to her feet. I revisited the spot that had got a
result with my thumb. She rolled her head, popping a disk, and melted into her chair, her feet
drawing closer to me, little puppies wanting to be loved. And you cant ignored the toes in a foot
massage. There is the gentle toe pull, and moving between each toe, and gently massaging each,
separating them and bringing them back together. I was aroused before I even got to Colleens
toes, and seeing her response to my touch only made it harder for me. Each foot in turn had both
my hands enveloping it, rolling through the arch and over the heel and up the leg and back down.
Long and slow sweeps that was broad and ranging, and then back down, narrowing the focus
with thumb on the sole, and specific finger placement on the top of the foot, as if she were an
instrument to be played. I brought my mouth into play, which would not be allowed in any
professional massage, but again, this was Safe Haven and the rules were different. My
proclivities were not only desired, they were encouraged. She gasped as I sucked on her left big
toe, sending signals into the right hemisphere of her brain, unlocking gates that sent lightening
towards the corpus callosum that sent mirror image through the other hemisphere. Changing the
finger points, drawing my thumb down the soles, I pushed my tongue between each toe, pulling
my lips from foot, up the length of the toe, and popping them out. I nibbled on the inside of her
foot, edging up to the ankle, and on the return to the toes, did broad sweep with the breadth of

my tongue, that swept under the foot. Massaging the ankle with fingers, and bit at the bottom of
her foot. Of course, this was done for each foot, so they were each equally cherished. I sucked on
her heels. I edged up her ankle and licked and sucked the bottom of her calves. By now, Colleen
was completely relaxed, her arms hanging over the armrests. Her bosom seemed larger, but
probably because there was a slight arch in her back as if she were building up to orgasm. I
wanted desperately to pull on her legs and draw her pelvis to my face and burry my mouth in her
and push my tongue in as far as I could before licking it out like trying to scoop out ice cream
from deep inside a cone, but she had been very clear, she had only wanted her feet done. Her
skirt had risen as she had slid closer to me, and there was indication that her panties were wet. I
wanted to taste her, smell her. I wanted to see on the other side of that thin cloth.
I held both feet, each thumb in the sweet spot discovered earlier, the upper fingers
making small circles, while I put both big toes in my mouth, running my tongue under both. She
gasped, straightened, her whole body becoming rigid, her feet pushing harder into my feet, and
then she relaxed, as if she had been hit by a tranquilizer. She forced herself to breathe.
Okay, stop, stop, she sang. She shivered. OMG, Jon. Oh, wow. Give me a moment.
Colleen crossed her arms over her chest, still shivering, then rolled back and forth,
laughing, sighed, and then sat up. She smiled.
Thank you, Colleen said. Previous debt has been paid in full. Now, let me see that
letter.
I withdrew the item and handed it to her. She put it away.
I will review it sometimes today and get back to you. I am going to take a cat nap and
enjoy the chemical release you gave me, Colleen said. Maybe I will see you at the pep rally.
Take care.
Um, I began, but the floor fell out from under me and I was looking down through a
column of air, accompanied with a sinking feeling. I fell through her bubble, like a drop forming
off another drop, and fell. It was a vertical fall, but it felt controlled, like going down a slide. It
was exhilarating and terrifying simultaneously. As I thought about it, it felt more like a tunnel
slide, as I felt cradled on all sides, and as I thought about it further, I was sure it felt warm and
wet as if sliding out of the birth canal, and there was sucking feel to it, as if my whole body was
being slowed by lips and opposing tongues.

I landed in the center of the park, where I made my first bubble shield. Colleens bubble
burst with a popping noise and a muah kiss slash sigh sound. I was shaking. I was standing on
the ground, hearing the lyrics of an REM song, Stand and I started to laugh, looking up at the
sky and just genuinely joyful. There was no hint of Colleens cloud bubble, but obviously it was
up there somewhere. I sat down, my hands and fingers pushing through the grass. I lay back,
admiring the sky the way I did as a kid when I managed to get away to myself. I remembered
laying on a merry go round just looking at the sky as the world turned one way and the merry go
round the other, and wondered how none of us ever got truly dizzy.
Loxy was suddenly standing over me, looking down at me.
Jon?
Loxy or LT? I asked.
Loxy. I felt compelled to come to the park, and Are you alright? Loxy asked.
I feel good, I said.
You just took ecstasy good, or? she said, teasingly.
I began to cry. She sat down, I sat up, and she embraced me, my head falling to her
shoulder.

Chapter 3
You sure are crying a lot for someone who is happy, Loxy said, after a spell.
I know, right, I said, wiping my eyes.
There were others sharing the park, but somehow, perhaps magic by Loxy, they seemed
distant, as if Loxy and I had a whole bubble of park all to ourselves. It was profound enough that
I was compelled to stare at it, looking for the flaw in reality that might give me insight. Loxy
touched my hand, bringing me back.
I dont deserve to feel this way, I said.
Happy? Who does? Loxy asked.
It was a reasonable question, and my brain went into sorting a list of people it believed
should feel good. And yes, I was making a distinction between brain and mind. Brain is like an
intelligent hard drive, it will list, and sort, and compartmentalize, but the mind was the user.
Loxy interrupted my brain and brought me back to my mind.
No, Jon, dont make lists, Loxy said. Go higher. No one is special. Everyone is born
and there is no guarantee of anything else, other than the promise of death. And much of what
constitutes happiness is a matter of perspective, if not a completely manufactured conditional
state.
Im not feeling happiness, I said. I had to stop to process what I said. That was
accurate. I am feeling good. No, more specific. I am feeling joy. OMG, and I have a headache.
This is bizarre. I have a headache, I want to go lay down, and I am joyful! I still feel this sense of
impending doom like my world is about to come to an end, and yet, I am joyful.
Loxy touched my head in a magical way and the headache dissipated. I blinked. Thank
you, I said.
Loxy smiled. This sense of doom, do you suppose it represents change, like the Tarot
Death card, or do you imagine youre about to die?
I thought about her question long and hard, and didnt have an answer.
Loxy just nodded, studdying the distant park-destrians (yeah, give me a break, it was the
word I wanted, even though its not a word, and therefore not an accident that its there, which is
probably better word than RK Rowling or JR Tolkien might summon, at least in terms of
pronouncing,) as if an answer lay in their games and frolicking pets. When she met my eyes
again, she seemed committed to explain something to me.

Jon, I cant track whether you will die soon or not. If you do, it will be not be due to a
health issue, Loxy said. In regards to your ability to experience joy, well, you have always had
that, but you have only recently given yourself permission to feel it.
Permission to feel joy? I asked.
Loxy nodded. Yeah, you know that list you were about to make, the one with the people
you think are entitled to joy? Well, you didnt need to think about it, you already have a list, and
your name wasnt on it. I am glad you made the distinction that what you are feeling is not
happiness. Because, youre right, it isnt. Happiness sadness is a horizontal component, and
anger apathy is the vertical component, and it is completely dependent on list making. Something
good happens, you spike happiness. Something bad happens, you either spike sadness or anger or
both. Your list for reasons not to be happy is so extensive that it is a testament to the state of your
mental health that you can actually experience neutrality. Zero point neutrality is the only spot on
this grid that allows people to experience a reasonable, normal range of emotions. If your starting
point is at the plus end, well, youre likely to get stuck in mania, which is not a productive
happiness and can put you in harms way. If your set point is too low, well, you go too deep in a
depression, you might harm yourself. If the set point is too high in anger, you blow up at the
smallest things, attack others. If it is too low, youre so apathetic that you accomplish nothing,
including moving in a direction towards health. The ability to feel joy, well that is a continuum
all to itself, and it is not dependent on external variables, as if adding third dimension to the
graph we were just discussing. Its like, right now, were in the park and experiencing sunlight,
but even if the sky was cloudy, or dark with heavy rains, joy is still there because the sun is still
there, and that is unshakeable. You can be dead opposite of the sun in the middle of midnight,
and joy is still there because the sun is still there.
Loxy gave me a moment to process what she was saying, and still, I returned to the
concept, Permission to feel joy. It had a catchy ring to it, like it might be a book, and I
wondered if I needed to google and copy right it before it was gone and poorly developed by
someone who just liked the phrase, but didnt want to build on it, but then I was like, everyone
should have that, and let it go.
Youre a magician, Jon, Loxy said. In truth, everyone is, but by being a student of
magic, you get to use the title. You have begun to discern how important language is to the
operation of magic. Your entire life is threaded with self-talk, the prime ingredient for all spells.

Now, your initial self-talk was a complex equation of family and society, but was self-engaged in
a dynamic way which is incredibly challenging to sort. There are some kids who are born so
determined that they never hear the voice of family, much less society, and they go their own
path and they live it well. There are others, actually most people, who take on the weight of what
others or society expects, and they run with it. You are interestingly mixed, independent enough
that you were able to move forwards, but sensitive enough that the wants of others affected you,
whether that was a direct want or a perceived want is irrelevant. Conversely, by allowing
yourself to be affected, you affected them. But anyway, your voice meshed with the voices of
others and you created your self-talk. This was the script, verbalized and sub-vocalized, that
would define your life, and you ran with it like a master level hypnotist, daily reinforcing your
perceptions of reality. Since arriving at Safe Haven, you have stopped pushing your script. You
still touch it, but overall, youre letting go of that. Youre letting go of your lists. Youre giving
yourself permission to experience the light of joy that is inherent in existence. No one deserves
anything, Jon. Those who say they deserve something are actually manifesting the opposite for
themselves. You could also flip the equation, no one deserves to suffer, but that also means no
one deserves joy. Both are available in abundance. It is not rationed out, its just there, and you
can tune into it, or you can shield yourself from it. And the biggest hurdle with experiencing joy,
like being in the park under a friendly sun, is realizing everyone has access, but some people are
under clouds and cant see, and you may empathize with them or feel bad with them, but that is
just you making clouds for yourself. You dont have to suffer because they suffer, and maybe
they need the rain, because thats what makes flowers, but if you were to show them love and
compassion, what you are actually doing is redirecting joy, reflecting sunlight to illuminate the
world around you in a profound way. Joy is not yours to give, but it is given to you freely, and
when you permit yourself to feel it, it raises the level of joy around you. And if there are other
people who arent ready for joy, because their personal clouds are too thick, well, they will
simply fade into the background. Kind of like all these people you see around us now, who are
unable to penetrate the bubble joy you and I have around us presently.
OMG, there was so much here and I was eating it fast wanting more, like eating a whole
a chocolate bar at once, which is the American way of doing so, as opposed to taking a bit and
letting it melt in your mouth and savoring it. Loxy was so beautiful. She was radiating.

No, I am reflecting, Loxy corrected. I didnt pursue if she had hear my thoughts or LT
communicated to her. It was just right.
I love you, I said.
I know, Loxy said.
It wasnt the first time I had heard this concept of joy and self talk, but it was likely the
first time I was accepting it. One of the champions of this concept was Shad Helmstetter, and his
book What to say when you talk to yourself.
So, my self-talk is like self-hypnosis, I said, testing the pathways to determine if this is
a map that can overlay my present map, like a transparency overlaying topical features to reveal
hidden treasures, or was I, once again, needing to blow up my map and start over.
You are not sure you believe it, Loxy said.
I gave her a smile that also communicated that I was a little skeptical, but not because I
didnt believe it was possible, because clearly Placebos worked for some people, enough
pharmaceuticals have to rule it out in the production of medicines, but for me, I was the guy who
would go to a comedy show and try to get the hypnotist to pick me so I could prove I couldnt be
hypnotized. Consequently, I was never the guy picked, and I suspected it was because the master
knew I wouldnt be hypnotized and so he picked people who were more willing to submit, which
also made me wonder if the participants were just actors trying to convince me that this is a real
thing. I know its real thing. I have seen people operated on without anesthetics, the pain
completely controlled by hypnosis and the power of the mind. And, perhaps that was what I did
when I went to the dentist and I turned off my brain to pain so the doctor could do his job
without the use of numbing agents.
You want proof, Loxy said.
That would actually be nice, for a change, I said.
Loxy sat up straight, folded her legs under her as if she were about to engage in some
heavy lifting meditation exercise, and I almost expected she was going to float me like Jedi
floating stones. Her gaze was intense, palpable. I shivered.
Intense, I said.
Jon, I am going to make you orgasm without physical contact, Loxy informed me.

Fat chance, I laughed. Yeah, I know, I remembered the anti-love potion session, but I
was clearly drugged and not in my right mind. No matter how serious her gaze was, I doubted
she was going to move me
Jon, Loxy interrupted my internal dialogue.
You know that ear-gasm you get when you stick a q-tip in your ear and your whole body
shakes. I experienced that. It was kind of freaky, just because it was unexpected, and I had to rub
my ears to appease the itch.
Thats a nice trick, I said. But thats, technically, not an orgasm.
Jon, Loxy said, speaking softly, intently, unaffected by my protest.
If you have ever been to a Broadway musical, you might know, regardless of the musical,
there is always this overall buildup to one particular chorus or melody which becomes the climax
of the show. For me, it was Cats, and when the full song of Memory came around and it arrived
at its completeness at full voice and full volume, it sent shivers up and down my spine, which is
very similar to the Kundalini effect. Thats what I experienced with Loxy uttering my name just
then. Clearly, Loxy was cheating and using magic.
I am immune to your sorcerous ways, Lady Vader, I jested, an impromptu attempt to
break a spell. Could you see her in a Pink Feminine Darth Vader suit?
She smiled, amused, and whispered just loud enough to be vocal: Jon.
The gentleness of her voice sent dewdrops rolling down the blades of grass, sparking as
they splattered against earth. The vibrations was like applause, a reverberation that I felt inside
was as if standing next to a speaker with the base up, or better, being at the base of Niagara Falls,
standing on a stone so that you could feel the pulse of the Earth.
Have you hypnotized me without my permission? I asked.
Loxy leaned in close, as if she were going to kiss me, but pushed past my field of vision
to my ear. I felt as if I were immersed in an ASMR virtual experience, that being an autonomous
sensory meridian response, which describes an experiential phenomenon that isnt necessarily
sexual, but many people have utilized it as a pathway in that direction, but it is meant to be
highly sensual, and quite frankly, I dont understand why we make so many distinctions between
pleasure and why we cant just be open to experiences without fear or the need for labels and
shouldnt we want people to feel good?

Loxy parted her lips, a subtlety I could hear as she hovered over my right ear. Never
without permission, Loxy whispered. You cannot be compelled to do something against your
will. She pulled back so that her eyes and nose was prominent in my field of vision, and then
slowly dove past me going towards my left air. Did she just sigh? My scalp sent lightening
tingling down the sides of my body as if someone had poured water over my head. Its all
hypnotism, she said. Jon!
OMG. I lay back in the grass. What is this? Loxy hovered over me, going back and forth
between ears, Jon, Jon, Jon. It was so intense that I wondered how I have ever tolerated
physical sensations, because if a whisper could do this, was I missing out on a whole new world?
Would a carrot actually taste sweet if I never ate processed sugar, the difference between
snapping your fingers and setting off a nuclear explosion? Loxy allowed me to recover. I stared
up into her eyes, the sun behind her giving her a surreal, golden aura.
I love you, I whispered.
Loxy shivered, leaned in, and kissed me. We kissed, eyes open. Then she said, normal
volume, Come on, lets get to the prep rally.
You wouldnt rather keep doing this? I asked.
The rest of my life, but were going to the pep rally, Loxy said.
She stood up, gave me a hand up, and when I was on my feet, the park and the patrons of
the park returned to normal. Clearly, my bubble had burst and I was back to normal, mundane
mode of operation.

Safe Haven University was basically a small town, and the Pep rally was held at the Town
Circle, center of campus. It was basically a town Square, only it was a circle, and you could no
doubt see a square, given the right perspective, because masons and witches were consulted in
the original layout, taking advantage of Ley lines and subtle energies and the topographical
features. The fountain that was main attraction of Town Circle had been turned off and covered
by an impressive marble platform, on which the ceremony unfolded, with people gathered
around the entire circle, but most congregating towards the south. Loxy and I found our group
and joined the others. I said hi to them, including Lester, but he ignored me. He didnt even give
me the courtesy of a glower.

Hes probably not going to talk to you for awhile, after getting him off and all, Keera
said.
I didnt get him off, I said.
You got us all off, Sabra said.
I didnt touch him! I said.
Oh, Jon, Loxy said. Didnt I just show you touch is irrelevant?
Shh, Alish said. Theyre about to start.
Whats going to happen? Fersia asked, just as new to this as I.
Magic, Loxy said.
Its about time, I wanted to add, having wanting to see an organized, public display of
magic since arriving. The regular old soccer match was still a sore point with me, and not
because I left sore, and now thinking about that, I was wondering if that was likely to happen at
this event, like some wild Grateful Dead or Moody Blues concert turned orgy. Not that ever
happened in real life, but just saying, if not magic, impromptu public porn could be fun.
Shackleford addressed the crowd. As you know, every four years we celebrate the
arrival of freshly turned seniors with the Challenge. You know what you know, and it is time to
put that to a test. We need a minimum of thirteen to open the gateway. We would prefer,
volunteers.
A number of people began to arrive at the stage, and as they walked up, the crowd
cheered. I was curious enough to be above neutral, but I also had that spider sense that this was
bad. Like, Logans Run kind of bad, where people went to get re-newed, but were really just
fodder for laser cannon practice. Or perhaps the Hunger Games kind of bad. Or Well, you
get the idea. Which each new arrival on the stage, the crowd got louder. The staff on stage met
each one, thanking them for their participation and directing them to a place on a circle, which
magically grew to accommodate each new participant. When it was apparent no one else was
going to volunteer, a count was made.
Shackleford addressed the crowd. Given the unusually large number of volunteers, we
will need one more to make a prime number of 53, and he needs to be a male.
Lester gave me a shove from behind, and I found myself suddenly on stage, directly in
front of Shackleford. She raised an eyebrow at me. I frowned, looked back over my shoulder,

and my vision went right to Lester, magnifying him in such a way that I was certain I saw a
malicious smirk. Shacklefords voice drew my attention back to her.
You are not ready for this, Shackleford said. This is for seniors only.
Hold up, Emerson said. He has his residential permit, so he qualifies for entry.
He is not ready, Shackleford said.
He could not be on the stage otherwise, Emerson argued.
Oh, spare me your metaphysical meanderings, Shackelford said. This is not
orientation. I know my student. And he is not ready for this.
Misty approached me. Jon, you can only enter the Challenge of your own free will. Are
you sure you want to do this?
I was very much aware of the attention that was being placed on me. Part of my formula
touched the variable of masculinity, and I wondered if I would be cowardly to back down. I
suppose there is no way to eliminate that variable completely from the formula of committing to
an act. That variable is cultural and goes back to roots of Western Society. Another variable was
wanting to proceed so if something bad happened, Lester would suffer. Not a great reason to
volunteer, but it was a reason. A very small variable was curiosity, because again, there was the
spider sense variable which had all sorts of modifiers hovering around it that suggested this was
going to be bad. Very bad. I am healthy enough to sort through all these variables. I am not
healthy enough to always choose the correct answer.
Whats the worst that could happen? I asked, flippantly, and seriously at the same time.
Yes, I am Jack ONeill, Stargate command. No I am not, but I would be him. But my question
demonstrated that I going to commit.
Misty was about to respond, but Shackleford raised her hand blocking. No, she said to
Misty, and then brought a finger to bare on my face. You dont come up on stage and query and
negotiate. Decide, here and now, once and for all, in or out.
I think the whole campus stopped breathing. I made my answer by joining the circle.
Pandemonium. Everyone in Safe Haven, at the Prep Rally or not, was apparently tuned in.
Shackleford and the other professors went up upon a platform, overlooking the circle, over the
heads of people in the circle. We were directed to face the inner circle, and I wondered if we
were going to play with a parachute, like we might have in nursery school. Parachutes were fun.

The contenders seemed focused, serious. This was not going to be a game of popcorn
parachute. The ominous feeling returned.
Should we hold hands? I asked.
The two seniors on either side of me crossed their arms, not wanting anything to do with
me. Fucking freshman, the one to my right whispered. You better not ruin this for us.
Let there be silence, let there be focus, Shackelford said. The Challenge has been with
us since the days of antiquity. Many species, many cultures, many people have access to it.
Broad is its entry. Narrow is its exit. You may have overheard me just a moment ago say this is
not Orientation. You can get stuck. You can be killed. No one is going to come rescue you.
There is a time limit. The first seven of you who return under the allotted time frame will be
generously rewarded. Any who return after that, well, your reward was getting back. Those who
return will not be able to disclose the nature of the test, nor if you won or not. Your return will
have to suffice. Consider this a Summit Experience binding. If you win and speak of it, the
listener will die, to guarantee the Challenge remains challenging. I shouldnt have to point out, if
you dont return, its because youre hopelessly lost, or dead, which in this context, amounts to
the same things. May the blessing be...
Wait, we can be killed? I asked.
You have always been at risk at being killed, Jon, the girl to my right said.
No more talking, Shackelford insisted.
Why are we doing this? I asked, which clearly perturbed Shackelford after she had just
declared silence so she could do her spell.
To feed the monster, Shackelford said.
She brought her hands together in a loud clap. The professors to either side of her did the
same, and the professors to the side of these two did the same, and so on. The center of the circle
started to dip, like a sand dial. The whole circle became a sink whole, slipping away before our
eyes. I imagined a giant ant lion hidden down there, ready to start throwing dirt up at us to
dislodge us. The funnel shape continued to stretch until we were looking down the inside of a
cyclone, the walls morphing and pulling like taffy. Seniors fell in, some sliding right down, some
getting absorbed into the taffy wall, as if it was a sheet and there were hands behind the sheet
pulling them in.

The seniors were jumping in on their own free will. I was not so eager to commit, but
backing up was not an option. There was a wall preventing that. The entire inside plane of the
circle was still dropping away, and only stopped just under our heels. My toes were out over
space, my heels on solid floor. I think I began to understand why seniors were jumping. Jumping
and sliding down the wall seemed like a better way to get to and through the narrow opening that
was quickly speeding away from us, curving away from us. I was the last one standing on the
wall, staring down into a gaping whole. It was a straight cylinder one moment, and then funnel
twisting away the next. Have you ever like been at an Olympic size pool and you look up at the
high dive and thought, Hell Yeah! and then you climb all the way up, all psych to do it, get out
on the end of the board and youre like, Oh, hell, fuck this! That might help you understand
where I was in the decisions making process. The walls of the funnel moved, with faces and
hands imprinted outwards. I couldnt help but think of walls of a stomach or intestines, pushing
stuff through and down towards digestion.
I carefully turned facing the invisible barrier, my toes on the ledge, my heels over empty
space. I purposely met Lesters eyes. I am not sure if he meant this to go this far. Maybe he
thought I would cow down and runaway, embarrassed in front of the whole student body. I felt
like Luke Skywalker, hand gone, faced with the realization that the ultimate evil was my father,
and thought to myself, fuck it, and pushed away. I cleared the wall. I saw the opening of the pit
closing behind me, winding itself back up like a sphincter, drawing the sides of the wall back in.
The closing cyclone chased me down the tunnel.
The tunnel itself was bright and sparkly. I felt like I had dived into the inside of panty
hose, and I was heading towards the narrows of the ankle hug. It became narrower as the
contracted around me. It was slippery, and warm, and you couldnt help but get it in your mouth
and nose and it was sickly sweet. My descent slowed. The wall seemed to be grabbing at me. I
am sure I saw a face push in at me. I felt tongues licking at me and fingers grasping at me but the
hose kept it from actually touching me. You know the Great Pit, the Sarlacc that Jabba was going
to through Luke and friends into to be digested over a millennia? Yeah, thats where I think I
was. Welcome to hell, Boba Fett. Okay, but you know me by now, right? I could have just been
swallowed whole by a giantess, and I would be like having orgasms all the way down her throat
while the muscles squeezed up against me. Yeah, I was about to splash down into digestive

juices and be consumed, but hey, how many times has my dick been coated with saliva and not
been eaten away? So, when the wall pushed into me, well, I pushed back. Fuck it, why not?!
I arrived on the first floor. It was unceremonious. Just, plop, out and into an open space,
perhaps like being pooped, perhaps like being spit, but gentle, like a rabbit dropping jelly beans.
No, better. Like a queen ant, lowering her oversized abdomen to gently lay the next egg down,
where nurturing ants would haul the babies off to their designated spots. My placement was
loving in its release, with the sound of a kiss.
That was the extent of the loving, as I had to duck to avoid being hit by a magic missile. I
barely had time to orientate to the landscape. The seniors were battling each other. It was a freefor-all, paint gun tournament, only much more serious and deadly. We were in an ancient ruins,
maybe a Greek Temple. There was a water fountain that seemed to describe the center of the
playing field which was being fought for. A magician made a break for the fountain. A volley of
magic missiles and arrows followed him. At the last second, he diverted away from the pool to
defend himself, blocking with a magical shield. He collapsed, appearing dead to the world. There
was a scattering of bodies.
What the hell?! I yelled. We could help each other.
Only seven get the reward, dumbass! someone shouted back.
No reward is worth all of this, I mumbled. Have you ever realized just how many great
lines were in Star Wars? Maybe thats why Lucas has plagiarized himself in every Star Wars
movie that has ever been released, because he was a one hit wonder trying to monopolize on his
initial success. I swear, if I hear I have a bad feeling about this in one more movie or episode, I
am going to break something. That said, I had a really bad feeling about this. Clearly, I needed to
get to the pool and drop through. The only way out of the rabbit hole was down. Thats kind of
an Enders Game philosophy, right? Maybe being eaten by the giantess wasnt a bad analogy.
We needed to get out before we were digested, and so, unless we make the Goddess vomit, the
only way out Well, it was a shitty explanation away.
If there was one thing I did well, it was shields. I left my broken pillar, running for the
pool. I wonder if the columns had been broken by mages from previous Challenges. The slings
and arrows of lifes outrageous fortunes came at me all at once. I blocked, putting up a perfect
sphere of protection. It was successful. Perhaps, too successful. My bubble became an insulated
world, all unto itself.

It was surreal. I found myself standing in my kitchen, back home on earth. It was not
actually my kitchen. I was certain it was an illusion, or perhaps a memory. Visually it was
perfect and stunning, and crisp, like a movie producer who suddenly used better lighting and
better film, compared to the rest of the production, so that it felt like a different movie had been
spliced in. It was silent, as if the sound had been edited out, and I felt the compulsion to grab the
remote and adjust the volume. The silence was that disturbing. It was creepy and I felt like I was
being examined. My cell phone was on the counter. I moved a little closer to it and got a sense of
vertigo and had to stop to process what had happened. The world hadnt moved right. It was sort
of like being in a badly pixelated video game, and it took a moment for everything to fall back
into place. That was how I was able to discern the contours of my shield. For the most part, the
world was being projected, like a hologram, onto the surface of the sphere. There was also some
parts of the hologram inside the sphere, like the counter, I could now touch the counter. So, when
I had walked, the sphere had rotated, and I now knew what it was like to be a rat in a hamster
ball, only the hamster ball was something I had created to protect myself. The sphere touched the
kitchen window, and I could see the fire fight outside, distant, like a movie, but when I turned to
observe other windows, it was daylight inside the memory artifact. So, the window to the outside
world was likely just a quirk of memory window hitting the actual sphere.
I considered the times I had withdrawn so completely into my own world that the outside
world couldnt touch me. Was this what I had been doing? Only now, as a magician, I could
make it solid! I could see a real danger coming here. Had my usual propensity for fantasy kicked
in and I had been with a woman, beautiful or not, my normal need to engage intimacy for the
sake of comfort would have kicked in, and I would have been lost in fantasy. And on thinking
this, LT entered the scene.
The front door open, Loxy entered, her shoes echoing against the tile. She paused, framed
in the arch that led from entryway into the dining area that led to the kitchen. She paused, flared
her hips, bringing her arms up, as if saying, tadaa. Her dress was a lively, solid green, with a
red belt. She had gold, sparkly hose, and hugging boots. The outfit could have easily been
Christmassy, but there was a gold pendent over the right chest, which could have also made it
Star Trek-y. Even though there werent green shirts in the original series, the way Loxy modeled
it, you would have been hard pressed not to create a memory where this primary color was not
suddenly added to extras in the back ground as a way of identifying functional roles.

Oh, and this made me cringe. Loxy entered, and there was suddenly applause, catcalls,
whistles, laughter, and genuine good cheer when a beloved character enters a scene. I nearly said
out loud, OMG, I am in sitcom hell. Loxy rocked her hips, ringing the bell of her dress,
pushing her knees together, breaking character just enough to allow the audience to know she
was appreciative, but not so much that she was suddenly out of my universe.
Miss me? LT asked, when it was quiet enough that she could commit to her line.
OMG, I wanted to unwrap her like the Star Trek Christmas present she resembled and
spend hours devouring her from head to toe, or toe to head. Never quite sure where to start with
her, because I wanted her all, and I felt compelled to say, were going to need multiple sessions,
so make sure you have set aside a minimum of two hours, because theres just no way ten
minutes is going to suffice, and she would be like, really, two hours, and then I would be
compelled to make reality fit my imagination, because saying that is like commitment, and it
sucks when you are so overwhelmed, you spend the first ten minutes recovering from the
accidental overload and consequential release, which was blamed on, Sorry, its just been a
while since I was with someone. And most the time, that was actually truth, it was a while
between episodes of intimacy with a real person, but also, it was likely that solo sessions were
rarely about taking time to enjoy but just getting to the point of the exercise as quickly as
possible so that the chemical release would quiet the urge to be with someone in order to better
endure the loneliness that highlights your life.
I find myself unable to respond to Loxys question. The silence was unbearable. There
was a tangible pressure for me to say something, as if I was actually on live television and my
boss was going silently nuts behind me, and holding up a cue card with my line, and freaking
cause having silence on live television was the greatest sin one could do. I nearly sang the chorus
of Mighty Mouse, anything, just to push a voice, even if it was unintelligible. I wanted to say
something endearing and funny, and though I knew I was loved, there was no way I could
compete for the love that LT got from just being present. Even in my own mind, every cell and
every character deferred to her as if she was the primary reason for our existence. We were the
supporting cast. I could be replaced. The show would go on without me, just like Bewitched with
a new Darin.
Yes, I finally said. I need your help.
Oh, LT said, coming towards me.

The Pixels of the world moved around her, but she was perfect, no distortions in person
or movement, which made it hard to look away from her. My eyes followed the outline of her
aura. The world was lensed around her, like the sun bending starlight. It was subtle, but it was
there. I wanted to dive into her, time-warp around her and back out to the beginning. She touched
my cheeks with her hands. They were warm. My eyes fell to her cleavage before ascending to
her neck, her lips, her eyes. She smiled, genuinely.
I wont be able to help you, LT said.
This is not a game, LT, I said. This is a matter of life and death. It felt that urgent.
Maybe it wasnt, but Shacklefords warning that we could die here lingered in my mind, and I
suspected death was due to lingering, not due to any specific demon or threat.
It always is, LT said.
I need help getting out of here, I said.
I know, LT said.
You know I need help, or you know how to get out? I asked. My cellphone began to
ring. I didnt even look at the caller ID. LT, Loxy, how do I get out of here?
I wont answer that, LT said, clearly.
You wont answer that? I asked, confused. I mean, she was being precise. She wasnt
saying cant answer that.
You want me to answer that? Loxy asked, glancing to the phone, soliciting a laugh
from the audience.
No! Dont be obtuse! I need clarity. Why wont you tell me how to get how of here? I
asked.
Jon, LT said, a tone that suggested I should know better. You accepted a challenge.
Giving you an answer would be cheating.
Really?
Really!
I thought about it, and the likelihood of death changed the equation for me. I dont
consider it cheating. I see it as helping a friend.
LT was amused. I see that you see that, but, sorry, prime directive is in play here, and
this is your Kobayahsi Maru, and how you face death is just as important as how you face life.

Oh, dont you dare quote Star Trek to me. I introduced you to Trek, and you know very
well that Kirk cheated, I began.
And there were consequences, LT pointed out.
But this isnt just a game, actual death is involved here, I said, as histrionic as William
Shatner.
LT bit her thumbnail. Umm, there might be a way to tie your last line to a line from
Princess Bride, LT mused. Maybe you should try that again, so the connection is better.
OMG, Loxy.
Jon, I will not help you here. Thats clarity, LT said. This is not like helping you
complete your homework. This is not like helping you build a new skill level, or advising you on
how to improve video game performance. This is a pass fail exam, where passing gives you
access to licensure, where you can do some actual harm if you dont know what the fuck youre
doing, and so you need to figure this out. You need to pass on your own merits.
Fuck ferits! I snapped. Merrits! Ferrets and merit, fuck fuck fuck. I am scared. I want
out. I didnt ask for this! Im clearly not ready.
Then you should have declined, LT said.
How the hell do you suddenly have boundaries? I asked. She seemed confused. No,
really, Loxy. You will fuck anyone anywhere. Hell, you were fucking me the first day we met
before you even had a clue who I am on the inside. And, now, facing death and having a
solution, youre not going to share?
If this was really a sitcom, this is the moment in the episode, in the season, where
everyone becomes aware that Loxy is a serious contender for an award. The range of emotions
that crossed her face covered the whole gambit from love to hate, but the two I prominently
registered was anger and sadness. I thought I heard maybe you dont deserve to live and at the
moment of hearing it, I wasnt sure if it was one of my own tapes, or the voice of my mother, or
someone in the audience who was pissed that I might yell at Loxy, or do anything that might
otherwise cause her pain. Indeed, the audience gasped in shock, mirroring Loxys hurt. The
phone kept ringing. The maybe you dont deserve to live echoed in my head, and the modifier
maybe caused me to think this was my own brain, my own tape. I was spiraling down into my
own hell.

Jon, Loxy said. Her voice put a halt to my spiraling. It was evident that she was
pushing patience and love. I am feeling disappointment.
The problem with speaking with anger is you cant take it back. I was angry at myself
and feeling regret. She did not deserve that, and as a sentient being, a human, she had every right
to declare her own boundaries without being judged.
I so cant be here right now, LT said. I need to walk. Figure this out.
LT departed the scene, without me saying a word. The phone continued to ring. I pushed
speaker phone and before mother had a chance to speak, I yelled, What?!
Are you telling at me? mother demanded.
What? You never heard me yell at you before?
Usually you dont start with the attitude until ten minutes into the call she said,
honestly reflecting.
Well, maybe I am tired of waiting, pretending things are okay and until I hit my
tolerance threshold for your bullshit. Maybe I should have given you everything I got years ago.
Or, maybe, I am having a really bad day and this has nothing to do with you, but youre going to
make it about you anyway, so why dont you go stew and fuck yourself without my help, I said,
and ended the call.
Ending the call ended the memory and I found myself back on the playing field, missiles
flying in all directions, but at the moment, I wasnt the target, so I took the opportunity to hide
behind a broken pillar. The playing field might have been an ancient Greek temple, now in ruins,
but I was think this was the opening set on the TOS episode City on the Edge of Forever. The
one intact part was a pool with an unsung fountain, which was clearly the focus of the game.
Someone made a run for it, trying to get to the fountain, but was overwhelmed by shots fired at
him from all directions. He went down, shy of his goal. Meanwhile, as everyone was focusing on
him, another person slipped in and dived into the pool and was gone. The gate was down, I
thought to myself, again thinking about Enders mantra.
Having no tricks up my sleeves, and no strategy other than to run towards the perceived
exit, I got up and ran. Not only did I solicit the furious fire of frustrated mages, but I got a few
disparagements hurled my way, like, fucking freshman! I got as far as I could and brought my
shields back up. It sounded like a hail storm on a cloth convertible top, but visually it was an

aurora borealis ripping around me. I felt heat, so I pushed energy into the shield, and, once again,
the world changed.
I found myself in a nightclub, with a forties feel. If this was a memory, this was not my
memory. And there were people moving through the world, but none were immediately
recognizable. An orchestra began to play a familiar tune, drawing my attention to them. I was
mesmerized and petrified at the same time. I was clearly in the forties on Earth, but the band was
comprised of the aliens from the Cantina Band in Star Wars, with bulbous heads and large eyes,
and might have been mistaken for the grays, or perhaps a related species. The clarinets was crisp
and clear. The light came up on a female, her back to me. Her dress was stylish, her hand drew
up an exposed leg, thanks to the slit in the dress. Her hand paused at her hip as she turned. It was
LT.
When they begin, the beguine, she began to sing.
OMG, Magnum, I thought. This was a memory. OMG, Magnum, also a memory,
Higgins voice. This was the scene from Disneys the Rocketeer1991. I told myself I dont have
time for this, but I was absolutely certain, if Jennifer came up to me, I was done for, and she
better not be on that damn rocking horse from that other movie, or she and I were going places. I
needed to get out of here! Where did I put that rocket pack? The memory of it came to me, but
could I trust my memory? I mean, Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes were playing Big Band
with a touch of jazz, and clearly, that wasnt in the movie.
I told myself to not think so much, just follow the memory. I turned to proceed in the
assumed direction, saw a man with a gun, and detoured into the restroom, hoping he hadnt seen
me. A black man in a tux asked if I would like a towel. I did a double take.
Jarli Tau! I said, both shocked and relieved. What are you doing here?
Its like 1940ish America, Jarli said. Do you think I could be hanging out there with
you white folks. Would you like a towel, Sir?
Is this a dream? I asked.
OMG, Jon, have you really forgotten everything I have taught you? Jarli asked.
Is this a dreamscape?
Jon, when you live in a singularity, there is no landscape, there is no place. You think of
dreams as a place you go, but you dont really go anywhere, because, there is really nowhere to
go, its all here, its all now, there is no time, there is no place

I thought I heard Loxy saying, Somewhere there isnt any trouble Do you suppose
there is such a place, I answered in my mind. Sure, Lt in my brain said. There must be, but
you cant getr there by bus or train. Its in a galaxy far, far away, beyond the moon, beyond the
rain and then I was certain, Loxy was singing: Over the Rainbow. If I went out there to find
her in a blue, plaid dress, I was going make a public display of affection, machine guns or not.
Youre drooling. Are you sure you dont want a towel? Jarli asked, drawing me back to
our conversation.
Wait, wait, wait, you can tell me how to get out of here? I asked.
Well, I am not honor bound like Loxy is, but no, I dont think I should, Jarli said. To
be honest, I am fairly disappointed that you just havent grasped this point yet. If youre not here,
youre not there, youre not anywhere!
Why are you quoting Doctor Suez? I asked.
I dont know. I was always rather partial to the art work, and very fond of green eggs
and ham, only in my country, if the ham or eggs is green, it usually meant it was spoiled, Jarli
said. But I hear there are some Asian countries that burry there duck eggs until theyre properly
fermented and its considered a delicacy, and yeah, every year people die of botulism, but they
continue to eat that shit likes its the best shit ever.
Youre not making any sense! I said.
Desperation leads to anger, anger leads to hatred, hatred leads to suffering Jarli said.
Oh, fuck you, just get me out of here, and dont you dare go Glenda on me and tell me I
always had the power to go home!
He smiled.
What?!
Jarli looked down at his feet. I was compelled to look down. He was wearing princess
slippers. He tapped the floor and the tiles fell away beneath me. I was free falling again, and I am
sure I gave Jarli a very cross look, but he did offer me a white towel as I was falling away from
him, and, perhaps out of anger, I chose not to accept. I was back on the playing field! I fell flat
on my face, next to the man who had made a run for it. Our eyes met.
Kill me, he said.
I sat up, drawing another barrage of fire, and again I put up shields. I found myself in a
simple hall, like a college hall, or an unfurnished art exhibit. I was immediately drawn to the

most significant artifact in the room, a large ring, sectioned with flames. It was not attached to
the wall, but it clearly defined the entry way to an alcove, or maybe a tunnel exit, but it was
difficult to discern anything beyond. It was basically a person size moon gate, kind of reminding
me of Star Gate, like from the TV series, and it was clearly my only way out. The presenting
problem, and one of the reasons it was difficult to discern much beyond the gate, was that there
was a figure, perhaps a statue, centered in it. The fire light from the rings flickered. I suspected it
was Naraja, the Lord of Dance aspect of Shiva. I was kind of glad it wasnt Ganesh, even though
Ganesh is benevolent and all, he kind of creeps me out. Naraja on the other hand, well, I was
kind of drawn to her. Him. Her. It so hard tell with Indian Gods. They are all portrayed rather
femininely.
If it was indeed Naraja, it was likely necessary to proceed with caution. Shiva was just as
happy creating shit as he was destroying shit, and often, the two behaviors were one and the
same. I approached, none the less. The closer I got to Naraja, the more aroused I became. The
moon gate ring thing was on a pedestal. I tried to keep reminding myself this could be a male,
but you know, damn it, if you allow that a male human could be genetically effeminate enough
to be confusing, well, Gods can take that to a whole other level. Her right leg was lifted, knee
bent, as if she was cradling an invisible lover. I entertained being that lover. I proceeded up the
stairs. At this point, knowing magic and all, I almost expected her to come twirling down off her
lotus pedestal, freaking me out something awful and I die of fright before she had a chance to
pull my heart out of my chest, like Indiana Jones the Temple of Doom.
Have you ever been so drawn to a statue you would fuck it? OMG, this Goddess was
beautiful. I wanted all four hands molesting me, all four pinning me down while she had her
wondrous ways with me. If God was female, I would never be allowed into heaven because I
would want to fuck her! And you know, I am sure there are other humans who have held the
same thought, but how many since the Greek error has entertained fucking gods and goddesses,
or at least dared to admit it. If you have been following my stories by now, you might
commiserate a little that I am swimming in hormones and thinking, if this is the only way out,
well, a mans got to do what a mans got to do (Conversely, I wondered if God is male I
wouldnt be allowed into heaven because I would likely be so jealous of the competition for
women that I would want to kill him. Holy shit! Was this the ultimate Freudian concept of the
Oedipus and Electra complex?! (I am so screwed!))

I touched Narajas hand. Her head turned to me, but I didnt die of fright or run away.
She spoke, Youve been messing where you shouldnt be messing
Naraja pivoted her pelvis towards me, descending down from the lotus, overstepping her
own knees in an exaggerated dance move, one hand on my shoulders, pushing, guiding me down
away from the portal out. There was music now. Unmistakable, even if it was a remix. Six
females flowed from the alcove, their movement reminiscent of a sixties dance move. They wore
knitted sweaters that were solid colors, pink, red, blue, green, yellow, purple. Standing normally,
their sweaters fell just below their crotch, but when they arched their back in dance, or raised
their arms, or swung their hips, dark panties were exposed, which was clearly distracting. You
would think, a goddess is pushing on me, I wouldnt be so easily distracted by her backup
singers, or worried that I had an erection. Can being about to die make a man hard? They were
sparkly hose and, of course, if you havent guess based on the lyrics and music, boots. Naraja
suddenly, magically, had boots.
I wont bore you with reciting the whole lyric set to These boots are made for walking,
but I will impress that I was the focus of the song, I was being warned or chastised and
appropriate teased by Naraja and her backup singers/dancers and when it was over, they were all
back in their place, the gate, once again, appropriately blocked. And I was left wanting! It was
like wanting to masturbate to a movie, only the scene you wanted to cum ended before you
came, and no matter how many times you rewind it, you just kept missing the opportunity, or
worse, you came when the guys face popped up, which reminds me of a trailer for a movie, and
you know, maybe, judging by the way movies go now a days, we are moving towards a society
that can be more open about sexuality. I so liked Zack and Miri Make a Porno, especially
because of the Star Wars scenes. Yeah, they probably pissed some core people off about that as
if it were sacrilege, but you have to remember, the core audience of star wars was mostly prepubescent kids. I was one, only I was sexualized early, and so even though Prince Leah was
purposely non feminine, she had my attention. Of course, that could be due to the fact she was
one of two girls in the whole film. No, literally, there are two females in Star Wars. You had a
choice, the princess, or the aunt. Yes, I, personally, would do them both. And this conversation
goes to a whole new level when we get to Return of the Jedi and we have Leah in the slave
costume and suddenly, my generation becomes the BSDM generation. It always existed, Star
Wars allowed us to touch in mainstream. Yes, 50 shades gray, you have nothing on star wars!

Now, you may think I am trying to distract you from my dilemma, but part of my
dilemma was, thats where I was stuck. I wanted more. I also wanted through that gate. That hole
behind the gate! Is there no way to not be completely non-sexualized? Even the gate and the
whole is a metaphor and you just cant escape sexuality in the physical plane. What would take
to get past her? An increase in libido? How much work would it take to turn on a Goddess? What
would Kirk do? What would James Bond do?
Oh, fuck it. I went back up the stairs.
I would like to negotiate passage, I said.
Naraja laughed. I bet you would. Passage, indeed. Entry. Intercourse. And what do I
get? Do I need to redo that song?
So, we are negotiating, I said.
You have nothing I want, Naraja said.
I will sing a duet with you, I said.
An eyebrow went up, her gaze came to me. You would sing and dance with me?
I cant promise the dance part, but I will sing, I said. But, I suspect, even if I cant
dance, youre so good at choreography, you could make us look good, like maybe a Bollywood
musical number, in the rain, in the garden, and on the beach, baby on beach, ba ba baba ba, bada
ba, I said, singing a little bit from I aint got no body.
She chuckled, but still, seemed skeptical.
Do you think I will be so easily impressed with American pop songs? Naraja said,
almost warningly. Dont even think about a musical. Im not going to be your Olivia.
Oh, baby, please, you got what I need
I am so not your friend, she said.
Tell me your name, baby, I said.
You may call me, Sinthra, she said.
If I am going to woo you, it will not be with an American song, I said. I mean, I am
partial to Barry, but I just cant do that deep, sexy tone, being a natural tenor and all. No, if I am
going to do this at all, its going be in French.
Im listening, Sinthra said, but put a hand on my hip and drew me into her leg, looking
down on me. But there will be penalties if I am not pleased.

I swallowed. I was right where I wanted to be, minus exposed and inside her. I led with
the sexiest duet known to mankind, straight from the sixties, and banned by the Pope himself,
which probably helped give the song its status. People are so stupid. Burning books and
protesting only increases the want for the thing. Why do you think bras are back? I am okay with
females with or without bras. Im non-discriminating in that department, though I will own that
my relationship with breasts is American quirky, which may be in part due to not growing up
around Indian statues with huge naked breast in your face.
I led with Je T'aime Moi Non Plus.
Naraja chuckled and embraced me with lower arms. Oh, Monsieur, she said. You
speak French.
Not a lick, but I wasnt going to tell her. But I can sing it. I dont have a clue what I am
saying, but put a bit of breathless wanting into it, and girls swoon. Unless they know French.
Then its hit or miss, variable being such as how horny they are, how long its been, how
forgiving they are with the French language, etc. But usually, as an American, I get laid just for
putting out the effort to speak something other than English. Americans are considered
linguistically lazy and self-absorbed. Every time I hear someone say, they came here, they
should learn our language, I always interrupt, Do you speak Cherokee? What I dont get is
why people dont feel properly rebuked and chastised, but it will shut down a conversation pretty
fast.
All of that may feel like a distraction, because you want to know about Naraja. Im
actually leading to that. I have had a score of missed opportunities hooking up with females
due to stupidity and lack of confidence. I have been on a beach in Florida surrounded by hot
girls, where the men are out-numbered, and not hooked up. I have money, security, car, but no
confidence, because American Advertising has screwed us by teaching men that you get the
wealth first, you can have every female, which only leads to a lot of rich, unhappy men, who
then start wars, or make more money. You have these young men from Brazil, some good
looking, most not, but they move with this attitude I have a penis, I will get laid, and by God,
they will have more American pussy in their two or three week vacation than I will in ten years.
Theyre broke. Theyre not speaking English. What the hell? Well, they dont think like
Americans. The way you think does affect outcomes. Change the way you think, and you get
different results.

Heres what you need to know about Goddesses, the real kind and the human kind.
Youre not going to have anything they want. Thats it. They are born with a silver spoon in their
mouth and a red carpet with rose petals rolls out in all the directions they move and they fart
potpourri. Their core psychological structures are fundamentally different than males, and even
most females. People, mostly rich men, just give them stuff for being beautiful, and more often
than not, without them having to give something back. They have everything they want,
physically; emotionally, they are often starved and lonely. Most beautiful women and rich men
are equally, emotionally starved, but when beautiful women hook up with rich men, both are left
hungrier than when they came together. This mean, you can have absolutely nothing in your
pocket, even be outrageously ugly, and still fuck a Goddess. Most the time, all it takes is talking
kindly to them. You dont even have to hide the fact you want to fuck them. They know it. Its
been part of their exchange rate since they came of age. The whole point of the Princess and the
Frog is to remind people a Goddess will kiss a frog if there is a chance of finding a prince. And
since there are very few princes who are worth their salt, frogs are more companionable.
The one last thing about Goddesses you might want to know is, whether you are in hell,
on Earth, or in Heaven: once youre in, youre IN. And sometimes, they invite their girlfriends in
to play. More to the point, you get a Goddess turned on, there is no backing out. Youre playing
through. And when she has four arms, and four eager hands, well, your clothes come off pretty
fast and she man handles you into the position she wants.
Sinthras six backup singers lay on the floor, side by side, heads alternating, so that three
heads were to the east, and three heads were to the west. They were close enough together that
they touched, and their bellies became the bed that Naraja lay me on. I felt like I was in Alizee
video, and I was just a doll to be played with. The bed of females was erotic in ways I hadnt
imagined. Three sets of knees came up on either side, cradling us with thighs. The backup
singers brought their knees in close and pumped, as if they were riding bicycles. Their knees
tapped Narajas back, their thigh moved against my side. Breasts moved against me on all sides.
Six sets of hands, in addition to Narajas hands, played between us, grabbing me, grabbing her.
The backup singers gave a left right motion to the ocean that was their bodies, and Narajas
riding me gave us movement back and forth. I was inside her, her legs stretched out beside mine,
and at first, her two upper hands pinned my wrist to the floor. My head almost touched the floor
as we moved back and forth over the top of her backup singers. The only thing that had kept me

from premature ejaculating, given the amount of movement and force was the simple fact, the
Goddess had not given me permission, yet. She held me at the edge, desperate for that release,
harder than I have ever imagined I could get and not be in pain, but the warmth and wetness of
her silky insides eased that discomfort while keeping me hard. A Goddess vagina can squeeze,
caress, and suck in ways that few humans can duplicate.
When she decided to unpin my hands, she brought the left one to the second backup
singers vagina and put my hand in play there. She brought my right hand to the same backup
singers mouth. I was basically fingering Narajas companion, and her vagina was sucking just as
much as her mouth, and if it werent for the teeth on one end, I might not have been able to make
the distinction of which side was which. Because as soon as Naraja put my hands in play, her
upper hands came to my head, pinning it so she could force her lips on mine, her tongue going in
my mouth. Her lower hands were pulling on my butt, as she held herself firm against me.
Look me in the eye, Naraja instructed. Dont look away, and dont blink, as I am
about to cum.
Naraja resumed kissing me, staring me in the eyes, holding my head to her. Her tongue
filled my mouth, making me fear I would suffocate. I have never experienced a larger tongue,
both thick, and long, and went deep into me, triggering the gag reflex, but everything was
blocked. Her legs suddenly wrapped around my own, as if they were snakes. One of her girls
caressed my balls and pushed in on the perineum. One of her girls rubber her clit. Naraja
orgasmed first, followed by each of the backup singers, and only after that, was I permitted. I
was on the verge of passing out from lack of air. Narajas eyes spun and I moved through them
until the merged into one, as if I was falling through a tunnel.
And suddenly, I was back on the playing field. I lay back, breathing, and feeling
awesome. When I recovered, I sat up, just enough shielding to ward off magic missiles, but not
enough to shut me into my own world. The man who wanted me to kill him was looking at me
expectantly. A quick assessment revealed his right leg was broken. I tried healing, but what I was
unable to access Loxys ability, and so, I reached for my mail bag and managed to pull out the
items necessary to create a splint.
What are you doing? he demanded.
If I am to get you out of here, I need to immobilize your leg, I said.
Youre rescuing me? he asked.

Going to try, I said, preparing the items.

Thats against the rules! he said. Leave me, get out of here while you can.
Are you with me that you and I will not be the first seven? I demanded.
He nodded.
Then that part of the game is lost, might as well go for the second option, get out of here
alive, I said. And I will not run this maze like a fucking scared rat, eating my neighbors. I am
going to help you, and youre going to cooperate, or I will kick your ass all the way home.
He swallowed. Apparently he believed me.
Now, whats your name? I asked.
Alodar, he said.
Really?! I asked. Thats your given name, or you wanted to be funny?
You dont like it? he asked.
I looked him in the eye. Alodar? This is going to hurt. And I straightened his leg.
He cried like a man who had his leg broken. I didnt expect any less. I got him on his feet
and headed us towards the fountain. My shield began to glow we were taking so many hits, but I
was trying not to fortify it, because every time I did, I went somewhere. Something exploded,
dislodging the ground beneath us and sent us tumbling, I fortified the shield, and we rolled
forwards, and into the fountain, and were suddenly free falling, like pinball in a chute.

Chapter 4
I awoke to find myself lying in a foxhole. Alodar was laying there, his leg still broken. There
was another person in the foxhole with us, appearing unconscious. Rockets burst overhead, and
as I leaned in to search the neck for a pulse, I could see in the fire light this was a female. Missile
fire continued to whistle in the back ground, along with random gunfire, occasional explosions,
and sounds I couldnt account for.
Where did you go? Alodar asked.
Nowhere, I said. Why?
Because right before we crashed landed, you disappeared, Alodar said.
Thats interesting, I said, which was because I didnt remember going anywhere. I
think I remembered all the other places I went, but could there be more, like so many moprning
of waking up from dreams without memory of any?
I reached in my bag searching for smelling salt.
What, youre going to help her, too? Alodar asked.
Yeah, I said.
You cant, he said. Light flashed over our foxholes, and dirt rained in.
Why not? She might be a fellow student, I said.
Of course shes a student! Who else would be in here? Alodar asked. But look at her
clothing. Shes been here so long, she has become part of the landscape.
I found smelling salts in my bag and tried rousing her. She responded, coming awake
with a start, going for a gun.
Hold up, I said. Were friends.
Youre a yank? she asked.
Yeah, and I am not armed. Look, I am helping my friend with the broken leg. We
inadvertently fell in your foxhole, I said.
She seemed skeptical. I dont think she believed in inadvertently either because she was
a senior class magician, or the war had made her paranoid.
Whats your name, sweetheart, Alodar asked.
She backed up, putting her back to the foxhole and pointing the gun at him. Oh, thats
how it starts. You think you can work your way into my brain by calling me baby, or sweetheart,
or darling.

Forgive my friend, but hes an idiot, I said.

And you want me to believe youre smarter? You parachuted in without weapons, she
asked. You didnt even bring more ammo? Were in a war. Were losing. You were supposed to
bring more bullets!
Were not part of a war or its relief efforts, I said. And neither are you.
Jon, dont try to break her illusion, Alodar said.
Nearby bombs went off.
You can call that an illusion? she asked.
Whats your name? I asked.
She took a moment, as if deciding if I were going to kill her, or she me, and then, as if
she was tired of it all and would rather just die, she surrendered to me, lowering her weapon.
Im Darlene.
A mortar whistled overhead, and I swear, I could see it coming straight at us, and I did
what I do best; shields up! And, suddenly, the three of us were not on a battle field, but in a
grassy plain, next to a Star Gate, and we were all three wearing SG1 uniforms. Alodar was
leaning into Darlene. Aliens were descending from the Gateway, quickly surrounding us. They
were Grays, very similar to what you might expect from Earth media, with some variations.
These were more shapely, almost more human in terms of muscle tone, suggesting these had
been born on a planet with gravity, and perhaps the ones visiting earth had been born in space, or
on the moon. They were also more shapely, like highly feminized, hour glass figures, as the ones
from the earth movies tend to look like children.
Dont meet their eyes, I instructed. Look down at your feet, or close your eyes.
My instruction was impulsive, as if I was remembering something from my past, or
perhaps my interactions with Terk, the guerilla, my Guardian of Doors, had taught me this. For
most species, making eye contact was a challenge, or an invitation to mate. I was not interested
in fighting or mating with the Grays. Quite frankly, ever since the book Communion hit the
shelves, the Grays have scared the crap out of me. SG1s version made me like them a little
better, but still, they scared the crap out of me. I looked down not just to follow my own advice,
but because I felt compelled to. I was tempted to fall to my knees, but I didnt, I held my space,
but didnt meet the eyes of the Grays. Part of me wanted to, but I intentionally imagined my face
would burn off like the soldiers in Raiders of the Lost Ark who looked at the face of God, and I

swear, I heard Harrison saying, Dont look, Marion. But Marion was telling me to go ahead
and look.
One of them approached me. I have been chosen to speak to you, Slut-mind, the Gray
said. I heard this in my head, not out loud.
Now, hold on just a minute, Alodar said. I am a senior and I am in charge here.
Another voice said, kill them all, and the Gray army that surrounded us brought
weapons to bare.
Did I say I was in charge? Jon is in charge, Alodar said, back peddling.
Oh, fuck you, I thought.
I have been authorized to speak to Slut-mind, the Gray said.
My name is Jon, I corrected her, still not meeting her eyes. I dont think I could look at
her if I tried, and though I knew it was a Gray and most likely an androgynous drone, I got the
sense that she was a female, tall, lean, blond, and blue eyes, but it was too difficult to know for
sure, as if I were squinting into the sun, even though I was still looking at my feet.
Slut-mind, she said. The voice was definitely feminine. You will explain your
incursion into our space.
Your space? Alodar began.
Al?! I snapped. I held my hands out, semi I surrendered, but the gray that was
speaking motioned her companions to lower their weapons. Do you have a name?
You chastise me for asking Darlene for a name, and youre leading with the same
question? Alodar asked, amazed.
Al, I didnt call her sweetheart,and, different context here, I am trying to be civilized,
I said, looking at him sideways.
Why is he you yelling? the lead Gray asked.
My female gray shrugged. Youre making unnecessary sound, more than sub
vocalization, the Gray said. Is this part of your mating ritual?
Um. Me and Alodar? No, were just friends, hell, were not even friends, I was just
giving him aid, and were communicating. Poorly, but, oh, wait. You do know, Alodar and I are
not telepathic. We speak using our voices, I said.
All species are telepathic, the Gray insisted. Your mind is too filled with noise and
slut to discern when someone is speaking to you without getting in your face.

Maybe so, I said. That actually made a lot of sense. Hell, a girl could be in my face and
talking to me and I still not hear her because I am thinking she might be fun in bed. What would
I hear if I could quiet my mind? Do you have a name?
We accept your attempt at civility. Slut-mind may call me Daughter Judy, she said.
You will now explain the incursion.
I am really not sure I understand, can you tell me more about what you perceive is
happening? I asked.
Every four years, your kind attempt an invasion. Each cycle, we have been kind, and
allowed a certain few to pass, but we grow weary of your attempts to dominate the landscape,
Judy said.
I was still at a loss. Are you Grays?
Judy considered a moment. I, too, need more information, she sighed. I must enter
your mind, further. I am authorized to indulge in intimacy.
And suddenly, I was back at home, in my bed. It was dark outside, but the window was
open, and the curtain was sucked out. There was a blond hovering over my bed, sort of like a
Nordic ghost, and her nighty and long flowing hair moved with a breeze from the window. And
if I looked at her just right, she was a Gray, and I would move my head back to see the blond.
The scene advanced, descending in skipped frames, and then she was on top of me, mating
with me. It was less love making and more mating, as if it were simply a biological requirement.
It was very robotic. There was no joy on her part, just something she did, something she
submitted to. It was in this merger that our minds shared information. It was two ways, and as
inevitable the exchange of bodily fluids after relentless grinding. Apparently, if you torture me,
you wont get shit out of me, but if you fuck me or blow me, I will tell you whatever you want to
know.
We, my hive, are a fourth generation colony, Judy explained. This required deeper
knowledge, and it came to me as I tried to understand, like a book adding pages to fill in the
blanks. They considered themselves the first intelligent species. They created technology
allowing them to colonize their galaxy traveling at less than one tenth the speed of light. This
was accomplished by launching intelligent spaceships, guided by sentient computers. The ships
were not only capable of self-repair, but on arriving at a new solar system it would find a planet,
and either terraform the planet, or build large enclosed cities using material available on the

planet. The ship also carried embryos, and once the city was capable of sustaining a population,
the first embryos were allowed to develop and were raised by machines. After a certain time, the
robotic ship would build more ships, and more embryos were collected, and the ships were
launched to repeat the process. Daughter Judy was four colonies removed from her species world
of origin. She had the histories of the four first worlds, and knowledge that there were many
other colonies, each doing the same. Every new planet allowed for divergence from the original
genetic design, something unavoidable due to changes in environment and gravity interacting
with genes and consciousness. Consciousness also changed. How could it not? By now, they
were likely to have so many colonies that there was a good chance that species differentiation
would be severe enough that some of the grays may not even be considered the same species.
Indeed, she believed the Grays that were visiting Earth would not be recognized by the original
species, because the original declaration was to wipe out any competing life in favor of their
own, and it was apparent to her that Earth wasnt being wipe out, but rather the Grays were
trying to save it. That was especially interesting to her.
Some of us chose virtual lives, downloading our personalities into the matrix of
interstellar computer networks, Judy went on. I am a hybrid, capable of crossing both physical
and subliminal realms, and may one day be the mind that controls an interstellar ship for a new
startup colony. This virtual world you have invaded is the place we created. We established a
base here so that there may be communion in spirit, in consciousness, between our sister worlds.
Telepathy is not limited to space/time, but connecting over interstellar distances has proven to be
problematic. We have not solved the riddle, yet. We suspect the presence of others interferes
with the process. When here, expectations changes the landscapes. Most of the bubble universes
implode and are short lived. We have watch you, slut-mind, always engaged in romance and
intrigue. The story lines are contrived and clich, and still, you engage.
Is our presence here causing harm? I asked.
You are not killing us, Daughter Judy admitted. But you are a distraction, Slut-mind.
Some of us are afraid of you, the same way most of your kind is freaked out by a roach. Some of
us are interested. Some of us, like myself, can be aroused by the intensity of your urges, which is
one of the reasons why I was chosen to interact with you. The land you entered is multilayered,
and so some of you sneak past our defenses, encapsulating us into your own manifestations.
Some of you run right up to us firing lasers and setting off bombs, and blowing up our bases. We

tag you to follow your movements in the multilayers that you travel, hoping to anticipate you and
prevent the interruption of our communications. Your species is so young, I dont think you
understand your own complexity, and yet, as I engage you physically, I sense that you know
more than you even allow yourself to know.
If I were to be permitted to leave, with my friends, is there something I might do to help
diminish future conflict? I asked.
Walk more softly on the Earth, Daughter Judy said. Stop throwing psychic missiles!
Be kind.
I am okay delivering that message, I said.
Return, Judy said.
And then I was back in the foxhole, my shield fading, bleeding off the impact of the
missile by radiating glow.
Where did you go? both Alodar and Darlene asked.
I blinked. I felt like I was on the verge of understanding something. Alternative, bubble
universes! We were all in our own worlds, and some of them merged, and some of us had fallen
into other peoples worlds. Darlenes was probably occupied England, or perhaps France, and
she was the last soldier holding out against the inevitable, waiting for someone to rescue her,
knowing no one would come, but still holding out.
You were both there, I said. Dont you remember?
We didnt go anywhere, Alodar said. You left.
But that was a pretty nice trick with the shield thing, Darlene said. Can you teach
that?
I moved closer to Alodar, close enough to take his hand. I did so and he nearly freaked
out.
What the hell? he asked, pulling his hand free from mine.
I think I know how to get out of here, I said, leaving my hand available to him. I held
my other hand out to Darlene. Darlene, take my hand.
Are we going to pray together? Darlene asked.
You know, most people pray only after they have exhausted all other options, and there
was nothing left but surrender, and maybe we should pray first, then exhaust our options, but I
dont think what I was about to do was prayer, but asking her to take my hand with nothing but

an open hand gesture felt as sacred as praying. She took my hand. We looked to Alodar. He
frowned, but took my hand. The sky above the foxhole was ripe with fire and ice, like an alien
storm raging. I made a shield, increasing the solidity, but also altering the frequency, changing
its color from its normal blue, moving it down to green. We slipped through the Earth, free
falling. We stretched out in our bubble, like parachutists in free fall, only, no wind blowing up in
our faces. Perhaps being astronauts was a better analogy. I feared letting go, that they may
tumble away. I think they shared the fear, because they held onto me, and Alodar took Darlenes
free hand.
We broke free from the Earth and fell through space. Bubble worlds were everywhere.
We crashed into another bubble world, landing on a table, surrounded by people holding a
sance. The people at the table broke their hand holding and ran away in a start, but didnt leave
the room. Alodar complained about his leg, pushing Darlene off of him. Dont ask me how he
ended up on his back with Darlene on him. I would have been happy for her to have fallen on
me. Her face was dirty and I just wanted to wipe it clean via kissing. I dont know if you
remember the television series, Voyagers, but I felt like I was in an episode, simply crash
landing into a scene and having to figure out whats going on in order to fix it.
Fuck! someone said. You channeled spirits right into the flesh?!
One of the women from the home stepped up to me, the only one to have gotten on his
feet, curtseyed. Oh, Great Spirit, we have summoned you to help fight the demons who have
trapped us in this home.
I opened my mouth to express skepticism about demons, when Alodar said, Of course
well help you with your demons.
I turned to him. Darlene had him on his feet. We will? I asked.
Jon, dont break their illusion, Alodar said.
Why wouldnt you want them to know their fighting Germans? Darlene asked.
The demons are Germans? someone asked.
I walked over to the window and looked out into the front yard. It was night time. There
was a tree. There was a bizarre squirrel sitting on the porch rail, looking at the window. A spot
light shone from an air craft. Militant grays were policing the area. Were we all seeing our own
interpretations of reality? I turned back to Alodar.
What do you see? I asked.

No! he said, pointing at me. Dont get me drawn up into this.

If we dont discuss it, how do we figure it out and get out of here? I asked.
You dont get out of here by discussing it! That solidifies it, Alodar said. There isnt
supposed to be a discussion. There isnt supposed to be a group effort. You are born into the
world alone and you exit through death alone.
How do you explain twins? I asked.
Youre being absurd, Alodar said.
Am I? You say youre born alone, but at minimum there is mother present, or you
wouldnt be pushed out, I said.
So, youre saying we should petition the Great Mother? the woman who addressed me
earlier asked.
Youre making this difficult, Alodar said. Youre making it into problems that have to
be solved.
I dont see problems, I said. I see gifts. Gifts are the circumstances that either bring us
closer together or drive us a part.
One of the sance participants raised her hands. I find that particularly interesting, Great
Spirit. Youre saying if I face hardships and my husband leaves, it was the Universe telling him
he was in the wrong place, but I had to experience those problems, too, so how should I relate to
them?
As evidence he wasnt committed to you or a resolution? I asked. I dont know.
Oh, Great Spirit, another asked.
Okay, whoa, hold it. My name is Jon, I interrupted.
They introduced themselves. There was Mike, Harold, Kim, Olympe, and Huette. The
women were dressed in corsets that were tight enough to be sexy modern adaptation and not a
genuine traditional style. Harold and Mike were in old styled, pen suits, one with a pocket watch
and the other with a leather wrist watch. Altogether I got the sense they were Steam Punk
characters.
Jon, if you participate in their reality, you risk getting us stuck here, Alodar said.
So, how do you propose we get out? I asked.

I dont know. I dont know how you got us here! Thats why you should have left me
where you found me, but you didnt listen to me, and now I am here, and youre responsible for
getting me the rest the way out, Alodar said.
Do you still want me to kill you? I asked.
You got us out of the last place, get us out of this, Alodar said.
I nodded. I went over and took Alodars hand. I reached for Darlenes hand, but she held
back.
We cant leave them here, Darlene said.
Oh, yeah, we can, Alodar said. This is their consensus reality. Let them have it.
I let go of Alodars hand and bowed properly to Darlene. Thank you for reminding me,
Darlene, I said. I turned to the sance folks. I know a way out, but you have join our circle. We
have to hold hands.
Wait, you want us to leave this house? Mike asked.
Huette didnt hesitate. She rushed up and took my hand. Take me, she said. I give
myself to you.
Okay, slow down, I am just getting us out of here and back to Safe Haven. You should
have your full memories back by then, I said.
Olympe came up and took Huettes free hand. I swear, Huette, you will fuck anyone
who smashes your table.
How many tables has she broken? Darlene asked.
Kim took Olympes hand. Every sance, probably a dozen?
Its not been a dozen, Huette said. She looked at me and smiled. Ive been told thats
the price for channeling. Feel free to collect.
The girls looked to Mike and Harold and Kim. Kim put on rose colored goggles and took
Olympes hand, saying, well, if ya are leaving, I aint staying in this spook house by myself.
Harold was a big man, looking like a firefighter who just stepped out of a calendar. He had a
goofy smile, a goofier laugh, and a bulge on his back where his wings would be. I would later
learn, he is an angel, with a full set of wings, but at the time they were concealed under a trench
coat. He took Darlenes hand. He and Kim held out their hands to him. Come to think of it, I was
reminded of the guy from Always who came in on a wing and a prayer.
Come on, baby, Kim said.

I am not your baby, Mike said, protesting movement and labels. He was a scrawny
man, the clich hunchback magician who had been steeped over one too many books and left the
tell in his body. He looked at his watch which was a curious thing to do. Was he reinforcing a
spatial time reference point? Im not sure about all of this.
If we stay here, we will die, Olympe said.
If we leave here, we will die, Mike argued.
Mike, I said, calmly. People die. The choice you have today is, will you die here
alone, or die with us, because we arent staying.
Mike took a moment to deliberate. It was one of those waits where I was ready to say
fuck it, stay here then, and even got out of the circle, joined Huettes hand to Alodars, and
went over to Mike and intentionally take his hand and bring him to the circle. I took Harolds
hand and Kim took Mikes. The circle was now complete, and at this point, I didnt care that we
werent girl boy girl, I just wanted to get on with it.
Everyone looked to me. I tried to remember what I had done prior. Oh yeah, lite shields,
but match the shield frequency to the energy of the local environment. I formed a bubble around
us, the orb was green, I took it down in frequency, passing through yellow, orange, but as we
approached red, the whole house seemed to vibrate, dishes broke, and so I took it back up.
Passing back though green there was clearly love and sunshine, and puppies advancing on the
house, and flowers blooming, and the grays were getting it on. The squirrel on the porch found a
friend and they hugged and their tails came up to form a heart. Dont ask me how I knew all of
this. I just knew. Intuition or histrionics, who cares. It was. When I hit the right frequency, we
fell, which in this world was Indigo. We fell through the floor, through the basement, through the
earth, and into an Indigo sky, that either late evening, or an ominous morning, and then out into
space, leaving the bubble world behind.
Mike started freaking out. Let go, I want to go back, I dont want to do this, let go let
go and he fought so much that our circle was likely to fragment and send us scattered though
out the darkness, Kim broke free first, and then I, to save myself and the others, let go. Mike fell.
I dont know if you have ever parachuted. I have. I have been in true freefall looking a woman in
the eye, in arms reach. In the movies, when one person pulls the parachute cord, it looks like the
person gets jerked up back into the sky, relative to the camera. Thats not what happens. When I
pull the chute, I decelerate, but the person holding the camera, the girl I was just eye to eye with,

practically disappears from view, because she continues to free fall. This is how fast Mike
accelerated away from us, and why he appeared to disappear from view.
I managed to grab Kims hand and brought stability back to the circle. Below, I saw the
dot that was Mike blow up like a balloon. His own sphere of protection burst around him, like an
airbag inflating. From our perspective, his fall came to a halt below us, and we were plummeting
into him, with no way to steer around him. We passed right through his sphere, past the UFO,
back into the house, passing him, he was looking relieved and pained at the same time, and back
through the basement, Earth, and then back into space.
We all had the sensation that we were falling, but no way to discern actual movement.
The UFO from Mikes world was suddenly edging up beside us. Tie Fighters did a fly by,
noisily shooting lasers at us, lighting up my shields, which meant, what? There were individual
bubble realities, which were ours, contained in a greater bubble reality? Clearly, bubble realities
could be shared, and overlapping, and without perspective, it was going to be difficult to discern
which and what overlapped and where. A balloon full of bubbles pushing up against each other,
merging, popping, shrinking, expanding, and then I heard the three witches, Bubbles, bubbles,
toil and troubles and for a moment I thought saw a bubble that contain them whizz by, and
one of the three was West, and they were all staring over a crystal, a bubble, looking at us as we
fell, and in the crystal, I saw the cyclone that all the bubbles went whirling around in, and a sexy
lady on a bike whizzed by, nearly drawing me in, but the guys in the row boat distracted me from
her as they waved. And then the Tie Fighters did another pass, lighting us up.
Theyre tracking us, Kim said, and I was compelled to say, Not this ship, sister, but I
bit it, cause I wasnt prepare to enter the Lucas bubble, and not because I didnt want to but
because I knew I wouldnt leave that place. Willingly.
Oh my God! Kim said. Theyre going to kill us!
Her personal shield mushroomed, again like an airbag inflating, but because we were
connected, it was like two parachutes colliding and ruffling together, and then we were all
suddenly drawn into her world. We crashed landed on a pleasant, mint smelling lawn, tumbling
away from each other. We were surrounded by candy trees, flowers, and mushrooms, and a
chocolate river flowed away from a chocolate fall, frothing where it boiled over the rocks. A
hauntingly familiar melody sounded in my head.
OMG, Kim said. Candy mushrooms!

Wait, dont eat anything! I warned, but it was too late. Each of my colleagues had
already began to consume the terrain. I dont know if you ever had to suffer through the
Odyssey, but my number one complaint was that the Captain started off pretty stupid, wanting to
experience everything and was getting his men killed in the process, but by the end, the Captain
was smart, and his crew was stupid, like they had been drinking out of led cups.
Someone stepped up beside me, planted his cane. Happens every time, he said.
My mouth dropped. Gene? I began.
Eh, he said, with a halting finger. Willy.
I nearly said no fucking way but, somehow, I couldnt make myself cuss in front of
Willy. Willy?
The one and only, Willy assured me.
Yeah, but Johnny
No, he didnt. I am the only Willy. I will always be the only Willy. Are we clear on this
point? he said.
Absolutely, Sir, sorry I doubted, I said. I became distracted by my colleagues.
Harold and Alodar were chasing invisible butterflies, calling them by name, only Alodar,
was circling the tree he was holding for support, where Harold was all over the place. Darlene
and Huette were making out with each other. Olympe was humping a mushroom as if it were a
Sybian. Kim was laying down, but her body was moving as if she were making love to an
invisible man. I found myself growing aroused and wanting to participate as Kim pulled her
dress up higher to accommodate her invisible lover. Before long, she was shouting and pulling
mint grass out with clenched fists, pushing her pelvis into the sky.
Welcome to the adult candy land, where we go beyond liqueur is quicker, straight to
Iowaska and DMT dreams, Willy said.
There is an adult candy land? I asked.
Unlike the Johnny guy were not discussing, I only play with adults, Willy said.
Which, brings me to the next part. How would you like to run my chocolate factory?
Really? I asked. Wait. What about Charlie?
He grew up to be an accountant. Very boring. No imagination, Willy said. Ive got
girls tied up downstairs, if you like.

That was random, and distracting, and unexpected, but I had no doubt, as an adult with a
chocolate factory of this caliber, I would likely have girls tied up, too. Provided they wanted to
be tied up. And there are no shortage of girls who want to be tied up. Even guys who want to be
tied up, but I am not interested in being tied, but I am completely aroused by a tied up girl, which
I know is wrong on one level, but makes me grateful for the girl who wants to be tied up, which
had me wanting to go to downstairs just to see.
Willy, I said. I like this version of you.
You grew up, but you never lost your imagination, Willy said. Its why youre here.
I thought Kim brought us here, I said.
Oh, you over rode her. You probably wouldnt have enjoyed where she was about to
take you, Willy said.
I watched my colleagues frolicking while I considered Willys offer. I liked his offer, but
at the moment it didnt have the staying power that the Lucas Bubble would have. When I
remembered what happened to all the bad kids in the kids version of Willys chocolate factory, I
felt an urgency to get my colleagues out of here.
I think I should get them out of here while theyre still manageable, I said.
Good luck with that, Willy said, turning to walk away.
Wait, I said. He turned back, offering a pleasant and hopeful smile. May I come back
here?
I would be immensely pleased if you do, Willy said. Feel free to use the lift.
Willy pointed to a lift free standing in the middle of the mint field. I hadnt noticed it
before, perhaps because Willy had arrived in it, but it was an amazing sight to behold, almost as
meaningful as seeing a blue, 1950s Police Box.
You mean the great glass elevator?! I asked, excited.
The great grass lift! I am British, damn it, Willy snapped, and walked away.
Oompa Loompas and grays danced and sang in the background as I gathered my
colleagues into the lift. Alodar was the easiest. Harold would only move with me if I sang, but if
I stopped, he became a statues, staring at an invisible sun. Olympe went with me if I told her I
am a hard tree, hug me and when I got her to the lift I told her Harold was a sturdier tree and
she held onto him, singing to him: If bushes were trees, the trees would be falling I
approved of her REM distraction. Kim was difficult. The moment I touched her, I became her

invisible lover and she practically raped me all the way to the lift. In another time and place, I
would have indulged, drug induced or not, but today, I got her to the lift and hooked her up with
Alodar who was like, Aww, my little sprite. Darlene and Huette were as difficult as pulling
mating dogs on a leash, humping each other and me as tried to direct them. Once we are in the
lift, I closed the door, and asked, Up or down?
Darlene and Huette each responded, Going down, they said, fighting each other for my
belt.
Down it is, I said, pushing the big down button.
We descended through the earth, through the room where a number of girls were tied in a
variety of positions, some with rope, some with straps like bandages, and some with spider webs,
and some with the dry mucus left behind by alien tentacles. Darlene and Hutte helped relieve
some of my tension as we descended past the play room and through the earth and out into
void.
Once we were out of the candy bubble, the drug like influence left my companions.
Alodar and Kim leaned into each other, relieved, and sleepy. Harold seemed unaffected, and
simply hugged Olympe in a nonsexual manner. Huette and Darlene paused in their simultaneous
treatment of my penis as if it were a harmonica, remembered their affection for each other, their
sudden affection for me, each shrugged, and continued. Note to self, remember to clean the glass
before returning the lift. I closed my eyes, surrendering to the moment, and when I opened them,
the lift had arrived in a large banquet room, a feast in progress.
The lift doors opened.
Darlene and Huette rose beside me, hugging me, their heads on my shoulder, not
presently interested in the world outside the lift. Huette wiped her mouth on her sleeve. Olympe
and Harold were headed out.
I think we should stay in the lift, I told them, but they were already out the door.
Alodar convince Kim to take him to the table so he could eat and were out just as fast.
Huette and Darlene kissed me on the cheek and were next to leave.
Fuck, I said, pulling up my pants and buckling. I deliberated leaving them here, but felt
committed to rescuing them, having gotten them this far.

As I was stepping out, a familiar pair of men were getting in the lift. One was in uniform,
and I had the impression, the Love Boat, and thought, Oh, this might not be a bad place to
visit, but the other man was dressed as a priest, collar and all.
Surely, youre not leaving, I asked them.
You might want to come with us, the priest said.
And stop calling call me surely, the captain said.
The lift doors closed, and the priest winked at me, and they went up and I suddenly felt
perturbed I hadnt tried to stop them, but this is life in the dream matrix. You dont always hold
the awareness and perspective necessary to stay lucid. Just like in the real world, you can be
happy one moment, then someone cut you off and you could be cussing the next. The guy that
cut you off wasnt the source of your road rage. The person cutting you off was just a natural
obstacle and hazard and a part of driving, and your job, as a responsible driver is to respond
accordingly. Anger is not accordingly or even practical, and the source of rage is always
internal, not external, so if youre blaming the Universe for your unhappiness, then youre crazy,
because the Universe could care less. Trees will scatter a billion seeds in their life time, and
maybe a few hundred will take hold, and maybe only a few of those will scatter their own seeds,
which is all to say, statistically, its your job to find the light, but its no ones fault if you dont,
not even your own, so stop blaming yourself, too. As the lift disappeared through the ceiling, I
felt a portentous dj vu coming on.
A woman came on the stage, wearing a miniskirt that was a collage of boxed colors as if
her outfit was designed by Piet Mondrian, with white boots, and again, I was reminded of Alizee,
and I liked how she shook her hips and pressed her thighs together and passed that smile like a
James Bond Girl who might kiss you or kill you, but when I looked closer, it was Loxy. And
then she started singing. Theres got to be a morning after
My stomach sunk. If that wasnt foreshadowing, I dont know what the hell
foreshadowing is. And I was also, suddenly, very sad, because there was at least a hundred
people in this room and there was no way I could save them all, and part of me was regretting
not leaving with the Captain and the Priest, which was sort of a great set up for a joke, and then I
realized the priest was Gene, and wondered if it was coincidence that I was just with another
Gene, who was also Willy, and my head was all a jumble. I think I yelled brace yourselves as
I went towards the stage wall, grabbing Loxy and taking hold of the curtain. Thats when the

wave hit the cruise ship we were on and flipped us. I held onto Loxy, rolling us up in the curtain,
and when the boat settled upside down, I rolled us back down the curtain and arrived nicely on
the ceiling which was now the floor, only Loxy had vanished.
If you ever record your dreams and collect enough of them, you will find that many of
them are dialogues between yourself and your unconscious, which classic psychologists will say
are overlapping aspects, but I say are completely separate individuals, and it would serve you
well to speak directly to your unconscious because she will be your best friend or your worst
nightmare, and if you dont listen to her, she will turn up the volume until you do. Anyway,
sometimes your personal rants over power the unconscious trying to speak to you, and my rant
about the Poseidon Adventure is focused on the sequel. Yeah, it was visually stunning movie, but
they cut out the most important person, the priest. That character, played by Gene, is absolutely
crucial for driving the plot, and without that character, there is no moral compass to save folks. I
am not making an argument for Christianity per say, and if you watch the original, neither was
Genes character. Cutting out the priest was not society trying to kill Christianity, which hard
core Christians might argue, but rather, a revelation that society had lost something crucial. In
truth, there was no way to remake this movie, because there was no way to include that
character, and the people who wrote the script and produce the sequel didnt even consider the
necessity of their character. They had no thoughts at all, but were simply trying to revive
something because Holywood has lost much of its creativity and trying to cash in on nostalgia, as
opposed to introducing people to nostalgia with the original. Black and white films should be
viewed in black and white. Thats it.
If you want to know how this turns out for most of the people on the boat. Watch the
original 1972 film, Poseidon. In the absence of Gene, I felt compelled to take up the spiritual
fight and rescue people. With all of my effort, I managed to get six people to the top of the ship,
which was now the bottom of the ship, and the seven were, interestingly enough, Alodar, Harold,
Kim, Darlene, Huette, and Olympe. And to get them out, I ended sacrificing myself, jumping up
to grab the valve wheel and quarrel with God about the injustice of it all, when weve been
fighting so hard just to stay alive and He keeps testing us, and were tired. My mind fragmented,
and I heard Loxy singing, Calling All Angels, the original Sibbery version with the opening
chant summoning Saints. My efforts turning the wheel stopped the steam that allowed my

colleagues to pass. I urged them on. Huette didnt want to leave me, but I promised I would be
right behind them.
And then they were gone, in the upper most compartment and I was thinking, what the
fuck do I do now? Loxy responded with another song. She sang, the Part Where you Let Go by
Hem.
And I let go. I disappeared an oil ring and a ring of fire, which was not a Johnny Cash
song.

Chapter 5
Alodar, Harold, Kim, Olympe, Huette, and Darlene stood huddled together behind me. We were
surrounded by professors, in a large office I had not been in previously. There were shelves with
seemingly endless books. Some leather chairs. An antique wooden desk. A globe that I suspected
opened up into a hidden bar. Were we out, or was this another dream? I thought I heard Jarli
reminding me, it didnt matter, treat it as if it were real.
Whose idea was it to join forces? Shackleford asked, angry.
I took a moment to stand up. No one ratted me out but no one was really speaking
anything, and it may have been they were all kind of in shock, sorting through all of their dreams
before they faded and were gone.
It was mine. I coerced them, so, if we broke a rule, then its my fault, blame me, I said.
I will deal with you in a moment, Sir, Shackleford said, turning her gaze on the others.
They made a group decision to stand with me, standing straight, and each owned
responsibility for having followed me. At that moment, we became the Challenged Seven.
I expected we were all about to get blasted. Shacklefords face suddenly reflected joy,
which was a hard thing to see on her given my own bias. You are the First Seven to succeed in
over a hundred years. Congratulation for passing the test.
Wait, Alodar said. We are the only ones who ever made it out?
No, Shackleford said. Lots of individuals make it out. But we were looking for the
first seven.
It was a group effort? Kim asked, a little angry.
Why didnt you tell us? Olympe said.
Harold unfolded his wings for the first time in front of me, and then brought them back.
He laughed, completely amused. We interpret things through our own bias. Our wars against
each other were contrived and unnecessary and I stand humbled, he said.
Speak for yourself! I hate these fucking games, Kim snapped.
You volunteered, Harold reminded her.
And, here starts the next, vicious little war, Huette said. Cant we just agree to love
each other?
Oh, fuck you, Kim said, and departed the room.
Shackleford looked to me. You okay?

I would like to be excused, I said.

Sure, but first, tell us what you learned, Shackleford said.
I was aware that I was the center of attention and not liking it. What? I asked. Like,
theres no place like home?
Do I look like Glenda? Shackleford asked.
I suspect Glenda dresses like you on her off hours, I said. You cant be that pure
without some skeletons holding you up.
You want me to slap you? Shackleford said.
You want me to fuck you here in front of everyone? I asked.
Shackleford edged closer. We will continue this later, in private she said, tight control.
I couldnt discern if she was angry, aroused, or both. What have you learned?
With the sparring match over, I was ready to commit to an answer. It isnt theres no
place like home, but rather, there is no place. I dont think we even left Safe Haven, I said.
Apparently, that was the correct answer. One by one, the professors nodded, until it was
Shacklefords turn. She bowed ever so subtly.
You, and you alone, not your colleagues here, have earned a new status, Shackleford
said. You are now a Guardian of Doors in training. Terk will be instructing your further in your
responsibilities and obligations, and will assign you your first door. Congratulations, Jon. You
may call on your Challenged Seven to support you, should you have need, but they will be your
servants in this, and you will treat them as such. That is the way of it.
It was probably a good thing that Kim had left, because she might not have liked hearing
that last part. It was clear Alodar did not like the fact he was now a servant to a freshman. Not
everyone was unhappy, though. Huette hugged me and whispered in my ear that we would
hook later. I took a moment to practice being social, shaking hands with the professors, one
kiss, which was genuinely served by Misty, several hugs, and one grope from Shackleford, more
a pinch to remind me there was a later coming, and as soon I could escape, I was gone, and
searching for Loxy. It was magical, as if she was equally searching for me, and then we were
running towards each other, like in Bollywood movie, and we crashed, kissing. I held her like a
long lost love, crying, and apologizing and thanking her, and in this, whether she knew or not,
she went with it as if she understood everything and gave me back what I gave her.

That night, I fell asleep in Loxys arms, in her enclosed tree house home, the smell of live pine
prominent, reminding me of being in Cloud Croft, New Mexico in winter, outside, the smell of
wood burning fireplaces, and the promise of bears tipping over your trashcans. From outside the
cylinder looking in, if you were looking, you would have been able to see us, because the house
wrapped around the tree, but there were no exterior walls, except the transparent wall of the
container that enclosed the home and tree in its entirety. You might think it was a set, but it was a
real house, and all of the rooms had access to the tree, but were each compartmentalize from the
other rooms, facing out into the world, with a spiral staircase that took you up to each floor.
Loxy and I were under a heavy blanket, filled with down cushy blanket, and there was a fire in
the hearth, and the hearth also warmed the living area and the kitchen. Her place was really nice
to be in, unless you are one of those that absolutely must have privacy in all things.
A dream took me, and before long I found myself in my private library. Loxy was there
before me, just finishing a book. I watched her as she turned the last page back, on the verge of
shedding joyful tears. I dont think she was aware of me until she closed the book. She was
sitting in the window seat. Outside was bright with sun and fresh, unmarked snow. She was
wearing the white, knitted, one piece sweater that went from neck to knees. The neck was folded
over itself, but still covered her full neck. She wiped her eyes on her sleeve, smiling at me. She
was wearing thin socks that came up just below her knees. Her knees were drawn up, feet on the
window seat cushion. I approached, admiring her. She handed me the book, without the need to
vocalizing that she loved it. I could see it.
I accepted, and pondered the title: For the Way is Narrow, and I Trip Over My Own
Feet, by Ion Light.
Never heard of him, I said.
Loxy seemed amused. I imagine when you read him, youll discover your own voice,
she said.
Well, there was probably a reason it was in my collection, but I decided I would get to it
later, as I wanted to focus on Loxy. I took it back to the shelf, intuitively going right to the place
where it had been drawn from, pushing it snugly into place. It was nestled between, For the
World Is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky, which is not my favorite Star Trek episode, but
by far my favorite episode title, and The Long, Tall, Dark Tea-time of the Soul, by Douglas
Adams. Youre going to look that up, and protest that its just The Long, Dark Tea-time of the

Soul, and then I am going to welcome you to my tangential, divergent history, where
Berenstain Bears is Berenstein Bears and Firefly aired more than one season. If you want to
know more about this, look up The Mandela Effect. I think its a real thing, and every now and
then I wonder if I am back in the Bubble Universe where Keera is Caucasian and if we have
fucked each other yet, or perhaps that is soon to be episode that someone else is going to
contribute. A less serious episode, where we make fun of ourselves and just enjoy humor and
magic and camaraderie, and maybe push the boundaries of sex, but I am not sure how one does
that in this day and age. I mean really, how can anyone really be shocked that humans have sex.
Theres like seven billion of us. That aint all stork, baby.
I returned to the window seat, sat down, and Loxy unfolded her legs across my lap. I
peeled her socks down to her ankles, exposing her legs. I rubbed the inside of her calves, from
ankle to knee and back, the palm cupping her left leg, the outer knuckles brushing the right leg.
She quivered, and squeezed my hand with her legs.
I feel loved, Loxy said.
OMG, my heart pounded. So do I, I said, looking her in the eyes.
Make love to me, Loxy invited.
My hand completed its downward journey to ankle, pushing the sock the rest of the way
off, scraping the bottom of her feet with nails, which required me to take the other off, and then I
slowly brought my hand back up the inside of her legs. I pushed in between her thighs, drawing
her knitted dress up. I exposed more and more of her, in increments, caressing her toned thighs,
until she was completely open to me. The world bifurcated and I found myself awake in the real
world in the tree house and in the dream library world simultaneously. Loxy was awake in both
world, watching me. I ran my fingers over her thigh dimples, wondering if this anatomy had a
specific name, because this part always aroused me. I locked eyes with her as I allowed my hand
to draw blindly but intimately over her, with broad sweeps of finger nails, alternative finger
patterns and full hand contact, narrowing the orbit of the circles I was tracing.
Loxys breathing changed and I knew where she was headed. To say Loxy is amazing is
an understatement. What I am about to try and describe should not be interpreted as she is easy.
Loxy is so in tuned with her body, she is so orgasmic, that she can go there with very little
effort. This is a learned skill that anyone can master, male or female. Loxy could orgasm by
simply thinking herself off, but what was happening now was that she was simply, and

completely, giving herself to me and allowing the sensations of my touch to send her there. It
was at this moment that I had new insight in just how connected she and I was. Just as she had
given me an orgasm by simply speaking my name, I now realized I had the same power over her,
only, we hadnt agreed upon a trigger word that would allow it to happen.
Dont cum until I say now, I instructed, firmly.
Loxy shivered, nodding, accepting the control I was exerting. She was even deeply
aroused by the control, by the necessity of delaying gratification not only to increase her own
pleasure but to give me pleasure through submission, bringing her even closer to that threshold
of release. I continued to caress her and tease her, reminding her that she would only cum when I
said the word, and that this trigger was for us alone, that it would only work when I uttered the
word now with intention. In the Safe Haven world, I positioned myself on top of her, pinning
her hands over her head, and in the library, I centered her on the window seat, and drew her
hands up to window above her head, holding them against the cold glass. In both worlds, her legs
drew up to either side of me. I dont remember removing my pants in the library world, but in the
Safe haven World, I was already naked and under the covers with her, and in both worlds my
body moved against her, and she knew the fullness of me between us. I poised myself to enter
her and fought the temptation to go in fast and deep. She tightened her legs around me, trying to
draw me in, and began to grind, but I pulled back.
Not yet, I told her. Wait till I say our word. Maintain eye contact.
Please, Loxy said.
Wait, I said.
OMG, Jon, Loxy whispered.
Wait, I said, gently. Eyes.
Loxy stared into me. I could have disappeared into her eyes. So many people have called
the eyes the gateway to the soul, and now, as a Guardian of Doors, I wondered how many worlds
I would now have access to. There would be places I wouldnt want to go, for sure, but I wanted
to know all of Loxys world, every detail, every layered atom intimately. I became aware her
body was trembling, as if cold, but it was pure effort for her to comply with my instructions to
wait, and goose-bumps rose, and tiny hairs stood as if I was whispering each individually up. I
felt her breast come against me with each new inhale, contact becoming firmer as each breath
was deeper and longer, as if she were priming a pump for the explosion to come. I lowered my

lips to her mouth. With my lips, I separated her lips with gentle pressure, and pulled back,
leaving them in a slight oh and she filled her lungs even more. I released my hands, pushing
into the bed or window beside her, and her hands went straight to my butt, wanting to pull me
inside her, but I pulled back.
Oh! Loxy whined.
Wait, I said in both worlds. Hands on my chest, eyes on mine.
Loxy complied. I brought myself back into full contact with her. I had to remind her not
to grind. Her vagina lips parted around the tip of my penis, but still I didnt push straight in. Her
legs tightened around me, but I didnt let her pull me in. I deliberately withheld, allowing the
fullness to gently ply her open, wanting to savor how it unfolded yet hugged me, enjoying the
warm, silky wetness as I penetrated her in slow motion. I noticed she was holding her breath in
anticipation and I reminded her to breathe, drinking in her exhale and the smell of her filling me
and making me want to rush in. This was likely the slowest penetration in all of history. She was
trembling so that I imagined just this subtle shaking was going to make me cum before I was
fully inside. When I bottomed out, I lowered my weight against her in the Safe Haven world, and
in the other pressed against her in the library, pushing her flat against the window. I brought my
lips back to hers, brushing her lips, inhaling her, filling my own lungs so that her breast were
flattened against me. My eyes never left her. We hovered there, on this brink of ecstasy both
yearning for the inevitable release. Her eyes seemed to be begging me to command her.
I smiled at her, no doubt pleased with myself, and not pompously so, but, do you know
how much control it took not to shove into her? Thats strength and worthy of some boasting.
She whispered my name and I nearly came. Now, I said.
Loxy came so hard, her back arched, pushing her belly up into me in both worlds, nearly
pulling me out of her, and so when the arch cycled back the other way, I bottomed back out, and
I came in that sudden, involuntary thrusting of hips. Her hands slipped behind my back and held
me firm to her, as she continued to push through her rapture, her legs squeezing me, trying to
lock me inside her as convulsed in several directions at once, and she might have made a louder
noise had she not sucked in her breath. When her breath caught up to body, she made some of
the loudest noises I had ever heard he make in a love session, but maybe she had been holding
back all of this time, because many of our sessions had been in earshot of other people, and now
we were alone, in her world and in my world.

Contrary to popular belief, men can have multiple orgasms. It is usually, like 99.999
percent of the time not after an ejaculation. Most male multiples come only with a dry orgasm,
or a prostate orgasm. But, when you share trigger words, as Loxy and I now did, you only have
to speak the trigger, and like a hypnotist pulling your strings, you respond, because ultimate,
orgasm is not the genitals, it is the brain. There is also an astral orgasm, emotional orgasm, and a
mental orgasm, which the trigger word can unlock. I said now again, and Loxy laughed,
rocking hard into me as she came again, and she said my name, in the special way only she
could, and I arrived again.
From this session forward, regardless of circumstance or situation, I only need whisper
the word now, and Loxy would cum. She could be doing dishes and I walk by and touch the
small of her back and say now and she would have to pause and go with it, because it was that
solid of a trigger. We would be creating our own game to mess with each other, finding
inappropriately fun times to push each other over the brink in public settings, with part of the
game trying not to let others know what was just exchanged.
I love you, Jon, Loxy said.
Im certain this was not the first time she had said these words, but they felt new, and
great, and again, I felt a door opening of impending doom about to engulf me. I was certain I
would be facing death, real, permanent death, soon. I ignored the impulse to flee and increased
my enthusiasm for more intimacy, escalating my urgency to just move against her, whether I
came again or not, and I kept this up until we both fell asleep again, both worlds fading out like a
candle with no more fuel.

Chapter 6
As Loxy and I approached the breakfast table with friends, everyone stood, mostly to come hug
on me and tell me they are glad I was back. The exception was Lester, who got up and started to
walk away. I purposely stepped in front of him. Our eyes met, like cowboys about to have a gun
fight in the middle of the street at high noon. All we lacked was spaghetti western music. For a
moment I thought I saw a softness behind his eyes, as if he wanted to say Im glad youre not
dead, but that was just my imagination, my wanting.
Lester, I hold no animosity with you, I said. Are we cool?
Twenty years of abstinence blown by your permissive, inclusive behavior, Lester said.
The scales are not balanced, yet.
Lester walked away.
He will get over it, Fersia said, patting my arm, while drawing me to the table.
No I want! came drifting back.
I sat at the table and Sabra pushed an innocuous tea at me, meaning it wasnt going to
magically do anything to me or anyone else. Loxy sat to my right, taking up her own brew, and
Fersia pulled her seat closer to me, leaning on my arm, rubbing her face against me.
Lester is actually glad youre back, Keera assured me from her place at the table.
Thats the first words hes spoken in a week.
Ive been gone a week? I asked. It felt like only hours. Loxy patted my knee.
I personally would have punched him, Janet said. He could have got you killed.
If I had gotten killed, it would have been my fought, I assured her.
Your kindness is going to get you killed, Janet said.
Hearing her say that, I flashed back one of the most recent conflict I had experienced, one
in which it was completely my fault, but had I escalated, the fight would have been huge. Loxy
laugh, nearly spilling her tea. I was glad for her laughter pulling me out of the flash back,
because with my sporadic, eidetic memory, sometimes visiting stuff is like reliving it, only with
an additional perspective being there while simultaneously aware that I am viewing it from
somewhere else, and sometimes, if I visited several times, I have a chain of perspectives I have
got to sort through, with all the thoughts, and emotions, and sensations from multiple perspective
and its just gets overwhelming. You may ask, what the hell is sporadic eidetic memory. Well, I
am blessed that I dont have perfect recall to everything. If I did, I would never watch the same

porn twice. The events that I recall that are perfect were from moments in life when I was in a
fight or flight scenario, at risk of being physically or mentally harmed. The closer to childhood,
the more episodes of fight or flight I had, and the conflict I was on the verge of recalling was one
of the last ones I experienced before Safe Haven.
Oh, you have to share that story with everyone, Loxy said.
Um, I dont want to go there, I said.
Start from the beginning, Loxy insisted.
I stared over my tea, trying to hold myself out of it, but with everyone expressing their
curiosity, I was already moving down that tunnel. At the time I was dating a rock star of an
engineer, well call her Emily. I met her Well, no, how I met her isnt relevant. What you need
to know: she was hot, and a professional. She was a lead foreman on job site, putting up a ten
story building in Dallas, and sometimes she was in work work clothes, and sometimes she was
in a suit, and still wearing her pink hard hat. She was also the first woman who I met who liked
to be tied, and she taught me how to do her rigging and hoist her. At work, she was the boss
and she was dominant, and no one gave her any lip. I suspect some of it was due to being drop
dead gorgeous, and most the men just fell over themselves to comply, and the few who didnt,
usually got beat up by the group, and so by the end of the day, any dissent would be squashed,
and they would be groveling. I watched it happen on several occasions. But when I got her in the
bedroom, I became in charge. She loved tools, and knife play was one of her things, and that
should have been my clue to run, but you know, I admit, it was kind of fun tying her up, cutting
her clothes off with a knife, which you know, really isnt as easy as the movies make it. Anyway,
I was instructed to come to the work site, as she intended for me to join her at a luncheon with
the CEO and a couple political people that were in the know at the time.
I arrived in my newly restored, 1963 Volkswagen Beetle, with the 53 and everything.
Honest, I have more hobbies than just watching porn. I entered the trailer expecting to find
Emily, but found myself alone with Sofia, the secretary, and you can imagine any Sofia you
want, and she still wont compare to this Sofia. She was on the phone, smiling at me, talking in
harsh Spanish to the phone. She held a finger up, asking me to wait. She finished the phone call,
and immediately got up and came around to hug me.
Ah, Papi, how are you today? Sofia asked.
I am well, thank you, and you? I asked. I genuinely meant it.

I am so stressed! Sofia said. I am so behind, but I have been instructed to fetch you to
the luncheon. Emily had to leave, and she will be sore if I dont get you there on time. Could you
help me get these boxes in my car?
Where Emily ordered, Sofia asked, and again, men simply complied. I got the boxes to
her suburban and then she asked me to get in.
Maybe I should just follow you, I asked.
Oh, Papi, Emily said she wanted you to go with her in the limo after the luncheon, and
you know how Emily gets, you might be gone all day, Sofia said. Your car is safe here.
So, I consented to getting in the car with Sofia. I wasnt quite sure where the event was
being held, but when Sofia turned into a residential area, my spider sense started to go off. She
pulled into the driveway of a house.
You must forgive me, I must put these boxes in the house. It will only take a moment,
Sofia said.
Okay, I said, contemplating staying in the car. Do you want some help?
Oh, Papi! You are so awesome, Sofia said.
I carried the boxes into the house, setting them on the kitchen table.
Would you like a drink, Papi? Sofia asked.
Um, no thank you, I said. We should probably get going.
But I need to change, are you sure you dont want a drink? Sofia asked.
I am going to go wait outside, I said.
Sofia casually blocked, moving so subtly in front of me that it didnt seem aggressive.
Oh, Papi, are you scared of me? she asked.
Um, no, I admitted. I was feeling fairly hot.
I will be embarrassed if you wait outside, Sofia said, touching my arm. Please, make
me a good host, have a drink, or at least, make yourself comfortable on the couch while I
changed into something more, um, fitting. She licked her lips. No really, I am not mistaken that.
I dont know how I managed to maintain eye contact with her, without also stepping
closer in and kissing her. OMG, the wanting was there. She fluttered her eyelids and whispered
please and I consented to go sit on the couch.
I will just be a moment, Sofia said, drawing her hand across the back of my neck as she
departed the room.

You all know whats about to happen, right? I was dead certain I was about to be hip
deep in a 20 something year old, smoking hot Latina girl, who was also, actually kind of nice.
And I have been around the world, been with a lot of girls, and I think I am qualified to dissent
against the Beach Boys Californian Girls. Russians are hot. I am partial to Japanese. The
celebrity look alike prostitutes in Amsterdam, that was pretty awesome. But by far, short of a girl
with bipolar having a manic episode, Latina women are the best in bed. I couldnt resist. I flung
off my shirt while kicking off my shoes, dropped my pants, bounced into a reclining position on
the couch, with nothing over me but a flying penis.
Surprise!
You would think, being surrounded by Emily and he friends and top coworkers throwing
me a surprise birthday party, would kill an erection. Unfortunately, anticipating being with Sofia
had made it so hard, it wasnt going down as quickly as I liked. There were the assorted gasps,
one person laughed, but they all scattered away from the living room and my nakedness. Except
Emily. There was murder in her eyes. There was also my knowledge of what she was capable of,
and intelligent enough to pull it off, in a Dexter sort of way. One of her friends came and got
her, leading her out of the room. I took the sudden absence of people as an opportunity to dress,
not bothering to take time to put my socks and shoes on, and went scurrying out the back, sliding
glass door. Not wanting to risk encountering someone in the front yard, I went over the fence,
and through a neighbors yard, with a dog that wanted to play, and it even knocked me over into
a mud spot. I made it out to the other street. Serendipitously, a city bus arrived and I got on, with
just the right amount of change.
It took me awhile to come out of fight or flight mode. To this day, I can see all those
faces hovering over me. Most of Emilys friends are female, and hot girls tend to have hot
girlfriends, and though I dont know what each was actually thinking, I assume it ran a gambit
from disgust to pity, a couple suppressed amusement, and I am pretty confident one was aroused.
But, because everyone was Emilys friends, they had to commiserate with her and support her
belief that she was the injured one, and I was dog offender. I dont know why people call men
dogs. People love dogs, except those who dont, but often the women who call men dogs, like
dogs, but when they call men dogs its meant as a disparagement, but if you really like dogs, not
men that are dogs, shouldnt you accept that dogs are dogs, and just love them for who they are?
I mean really, does your dog ever get mad at you when come home after petting another dog?

No, your dog is just glad your home. It will smell the dog on you, but its not going to hold that
against you. If the roles were reverse, your dog would have been all over that other dog, too,
maybe not because it was cute, but because, wow, you smell great, can I lick your butt?
Before I knew it, I was in down town Dallas. I got off the bus and walked. At first I
thought the pedestrians were laughing at me, but thats just paranoia that follows a stressful
event. Some were actually looking at me. I was covered with mud, after all. It was at this time I
realized I had left my cell phone in the bug, so I wasnt going to call a friend to come get me. I
really didnt have anyone at the moment to call. So, I flagged a taxi, and hired it to take me to the
work site to retrieve my car. We drove up over the dirt rise and looked down on my poor car. It
had been dismantled. No, literally, it had been taken completely apart with all the pieces and
bolts strung out around it, looking something like an exploded tech manual picture so you would
know where everything went, minus all the directional arrows. If you drew in the arrows, it was
probably about right.
Is that your car? the taxi driver asked.
Um, yeah, I said, and started laughing. Dont suppose you will drive me as far as
Denton?
Thats a bit out of my way, he began.
Ill pay you double, I said.
The taxi got me all the way home. The next time I heard from Emily, it was through a
summons. She was suing me for the cleanup of an abandoned car. It almost escalated to legal
trouble for me, because I didnt report the car stolen. I actually thought she knew the judge and
they were in cahoots, and maybe he did know her, and he was amused by the pictures of the bug,
and he understood why I hadnt been able to collect the car, and he also understood, given the
number large men with a variety tools at their disposal, why I might not want to return and
collect said car, but he was clearly disappointed I didnt call the police.
People do weird things when theyre mad, I said. I would like to just let this go, and
take the loss.
You dont get to be noble! You were fucking around on me! Emily said.
No, I wasnt. I was about to, or thought I was about to, and yes, I would have, had the
circumstances played out the way I imagined, but, in my defense, you didnt need the set up to
catch me being permissive, I told you I was permissive before we started fucking, and since we

fucked on the first date, that kind of gives you circumstantial evidence I was telling you the
truth, I rambled.
Emily was about to say something when the judge interrupted. The courts really dont
have time for this sort of nonsense. This is done. Emily, I am not charging this man for the cost
of removing his car. I believe you had a hand in its destruction. I am also asking you to pay the
court costs for wasting our time, and should there be any other acts of vandalism or Mr. Harister
should meet with an accident, I will consider you prime suspect, the judge said, hitting the
gavel.
That ruling didnt calm Emily down. How can I be suspect? If hes fucking cheating,
hes probably got a dozen jealous women trying to kill him
Emily, you are very close to being held in contempt, and your language could be
construed as a threat, the judge said. Let it go.
Emily had an entourage with her, and they helped bring her down. I departed the
courtroom and went home
Wow! broke me out of the memory, and suddenly, the guest that were hovering over
me also included my Safe Haven Breakfast companions.
Thats fucking funny as shit, Fersia said.
Would you like me to kill Emily? Janet asked.
No! I said.
Tell me you at least fucked Sofia, Sabra said.
Oh, yeah, I said. Sofia got fired because of the incident. She actually showed up on my
doorstep, wanting to apologize for the misunderstanding, and I commiserated with her for
causing her to lose her job, but she assured me it was the best thing that ever happened to her.
She sued Emily and won, with a pretty good settlement, because she had not wanted to
participate in the surprise birthday party, but had been compelled.
I reminded Emily that you dont celebrate your birthday, cause I heard you say it, but
she was determined to surprise you and make you happy on your birthday, and, well, that didnt
go over so well, Sofia had said.
It never does, I said. I fucking hate birthdays. You know how birthdays should be
celebrated? The person holding the event should be compelled to give other people presents.

Specifically, if its your birthday, you should celebrate by giving the people you love and admire
gifts, not them giving you gifts.
Loxy interrupted my internal rant. Were you just with Sofia again?
On the porch, Sofia took off her shirt. She was not wearing a bra. They were as perfect as
I had anticipated.
Sofia? I asked.
I saw you naked, now you get to see me naked, Sofia said.
I am not going to be satisfied with just looking, at this point, I said.
You want to do it here, or inside? Sofia asked.
Really? I asked.
I saw how engorged you were, and havent been able to think about anything else, and I
also felt bad for you, and your misfortune also made me fairly wealthy, I dont have to work,
except I like working, but I am determine to fuck you just to spite Emily, Sofia said.
Thats not the right reason to fuck, I pointed out.
Really, Papi?! Youre going to turn me down? Sofia asked.
No, I said, drawing her into me. I am going to fuck you because I want to fuck you,
not because I am getting even, and I hope your schedule is clear for the next four hours, because
even after I am not going to be satiated, and this better not be a onetime offer, cause I am going
to want to do it again.
I will let you know after the four hours are up, Sofia said.
Nice! Fersia said. Again I was back. When do I get my four hours?!
I am up for four, Sabra said.
Me, too, Janet said.
Four sounds kind of nice, Alish said.
Put me somewhere on the list, Keera said.
My friends looked to Loxy, surprised she wasnt adding her sentiment. She lowered her
brew. What? He just gave me six hours, simultaneous in two worlds, which is what, a total of
12?
Fuck, I am so turned on, Fersia said.
It will have to wait, Colleen Handle said, having arrived at our table almost unnoticed.
Jon, I read over the item you gave me. Youre going to have to go to Earth.

Fuck that, I said.

Jon, this is a legitimate summons, youre going to be compelled to go, Colleen said.
And, I recommend you take me with you.
How many feet licking session will make that go away? I asked.
Jon, this is not a court summons. This is a magical Summons, Colleen said. The
longer you resist, the more the Universe is going to conspire to make it happen. Youre going to
have to meet Fribourg and resolve this conflict.
There is no conflict! I said. And there isnt anything that will compel me to return to
Earth. I have read too many magical novels. Every time the hero goes back, he becomes
miserable. Things become mundane and they long for the magic, and I like it here, and then there
is always the sequel where they return, and why dont we just skip to the part where I am back
and happy, without drama or fuss.
I cant force you to go. I can only ask that you do this soon, and I would like to tag
along, but if you prefer someone else, I can make a recommendation, Colleen said.
I am not going back to Earth, I said.
Jon, when you begin to suffer, your friends could also suffer. This is coming your way
and youre not going to be able to just dismiss it or avoid it or even deflect it. The writing in this
summons is very specific. This is going to happen. You and Fribourg are going to meet again.
This is tantamount to an official declaration of war. It has the potential of blowing up and
drawing a lot of people into it, Colleen said.
There is no conflict!
Colleen handed me the summons. Let me know when you change your mind.
Im not changing my mind, I mumbled. And none of you better try and talk sense into
me. I am not doing this. Just telling people to not talk sense me was admission that I knew it
was sensible to go and get it done and still, I was not budging.
No one said anything. They seemed indifferent. Loxy drank her brew.
Can I have my four hours before you return to Earth? Fersia asked.

Chapter 7
If youre curious about the four hours with Fersia, just think of cats having sex. The male pins
the female down, mounting her from behind. Usually he bites the back of her neck so she cant
run away. Of course, Fersia isnt completely cat, though I would say all feline. So, the four hour
session wasnt just pushing her head into the couch while doing her cat style, doggy style? The
bell thing did get annoying so I had her take off the collar, and when it came off, she went wild,
and I ended up with multiple scratches, and after four hours of nonstop play I made the excuse
that I needed to get to class, and so we finished our session with a greedy, eagerness where we
were both so focused on getting ourselves off on each other that we arrived at the same time and
then laughed as if we suddenly realized we were both playing with each other and not solo. Kind
of weird, but Fersia is fun. She licked her fingers as I dressed. I probably should have showered,
but, eh, I wanted to carry Fersia smell with me for a while.
I kissed her goodbye and passed through the exit thinking I would arrive at my fist class.
I did not. It took me a moment to orientate to the office. I was not alone. Misty, Emerson,
Shackleford, Gaia, and Trelinda. Trelinda was the dean who officiated over my hearing a while
back. This meeting had an ominous feel and I was worried, what the hell did I do now, sort of
worried.
Jon, Trelinda said, inviting me to sit in front of her desk. She reminded me a lot of the
woman from return of the Jedi that announced a thousand Bothans died to bring us this If I
went by just her tone, I would find it reasonable to suspect a thousand Bothans just died. Your
mother has liver cancer. She has been hospitalized and is not expected to live long.
I silently processed the information. No, I did not start to sing, ding dong, the witch is
dead, I am not that evil. Did you know that song was banned in several countries for celebrating
death?
Jon? Trelinda asked.
You have informed me that my mother is dying of liver cancer, I repeated back the
message. There was no emotions. I was simply regurgitating information.
As a Guardian, you have access to doorways back, and could technically travel without
permission, however, Gaia has come to authorize you safe passage so you may be with her in her
final hours, Trelinda said.

I laughed. Fuck that, I said. If the Universe was trying to trick me back to Earth that
was the wrong card to play.
No one is trying to trick you, Jon, Misty said. Your mother is dying. Now is time to
resolve any unaddressed issues.
There are no issues, everything has been resolved, and I dont require a reunion to
demonstrate I am at peace, I said.
It sounds to me as if you are holding some grievances, Shackleford said. And these
things can manifest themselves in sudden, unexpected ways. As a magician, you should be
concerned for your fellow faculty and students.
There is nothing here to be concerned about, I said. Whats your mantra? People die. I
am sure, out of seven billion people, someone might actually shed a tear for my mother. It wont
be me. Our relationship ended years ago.
Trelinda nodded. None the less, all of your classes will be suspended until this matter
has run its course, she said.
Youre kicking me out of school? I asked, shocked. Now, I was feeling some anger.
No, simply suspending class, Trelinda said.
Which means, classes are suspended for all your classmates until this matter is resolved,
so if you want to expedite, you can return to Earth, spend some time with your mother before she
dies, and then we can resume where left off, Shackleford said.
Thats not going to happen, I said, frankly.
Then you may return to Safe Haven after she passes, Trelinda said.
Wait, wait, wait. Youre kicking me off campus? I said.
In order to remain on campus, you must be actively engaged in classes, so while your
suspension is temporary, it requires you either going to your private world, or Safe Havens
moon, but youre going to have to leave until this matter is resolved, Trelinda said.
Youre forcing an issue that isnt an issue! I said.
Trelinda pushed two coins at me. I offer you these tokens, as reassurance you are not
being banned. Once the matter is resolved, you may use the coins of passage to return to Safe
Haven.
I heard the song, dont pay the ferry man till he delivers you or something like that. Not
getting the words right disrupted the melody before it was formally cycling in my head.

Just hold the coins in your hands and say return, Misty said.
They just wont function until you have said your peace to your mother, or she dies,
forever closing that door, Emerson said.
I stood up to leave. I am not happy, I said. And I am not going to Earth. And knowing
my mother, she is likely to drag her miserable, death experience on for months.
That would indicate she wants closure, Misty said, compassionately.
What are you getting out of this, Gaia? I asked.
Your mother is my child. You are my child. I care about you both, Gaia said.
Really? You care about all the starving people on the planet? I asked.
I care about all the people, all the animals, all the plants, and even the life forms you are
not aware of, Gaia said. People are starving. Men have exasperated hunger. And though I
appreciate the fact youre angry, you will still speak to me with respect.
I held my lips solid, but nodded. I am not going back. And considering the last time I
did you took me to trial, I am even more skeptical about your agenda.
I am only authorizing permission, not forcing an outcome, Gaia said. If it helps ease
your discomfort, I have authorized passage for two, so you may take a friend. Loxy, perhaps?
Its hard to hold anger at Gaia. I frowned, then turned to meet everyones gaze that was
present. They were not going to back down. Neither was I. I am not going back to Earth, I said,
cupping my hands and pulling them apart, growing a sphere that quickly enveloped me and lifted
me off the floor. Growing a sphere kept me from taking a piece of the floor and earth, which is
what happens when I push a full size shield into place. With the right mudra, it became more
solid, and pushing the next mudra accelerated upwards. Until the challenge, I had never
considered departing from inside a structure, but since I knew could phase through objects I
pushed out into the atmosphere, rising high above Safe Haven. This was not flying like
superman, but as close as a person might come. I spotted Harister Hall, thought about going
there, but I continued to accelerate up. As I pushed out past the moon, I thought I should go
spend some time in the city there, but I just couldnt tolerate meeting people, much less
exploring someplace new. Safe Haven sun shrunk to a point. And then I saw evidence of the
black hole. In terms of possible black holes, this was a small one. It was big enough to swallow
the Safe Haven planet in one gulp, but might take a while to consume the star.

I paused. When you stop a magical push, you either return to your original momentum, or
fall in line with momentum of your new system, but here, in the nothingness, there was nothing
obvious to sync with so, in truth, I cant tell you I came to a stop relative to anything, or it just
felt like I wasnt moving. There was a discernable noise. I touched the sphere that contained me,
and the noise was suddenly louder, as if listening to a radio geared for bone conduction. I have
left Safe Haven before, but never noticed this, so I imagined it was new, but I suspected this was
always here. This noise was probably even discernable on Safe Havens surface, but you would
have to be really, really quiet and still. I flashed back to being on White Rock Lake, Texas, in a
boat with a dead engine, not able to see the edge of the damn, but being able to sense the
inevitable draw towards the drop. A perfect day. The water glassy smooth, with only my little
boat disturbing the image as I worked on the engine. And then I realized that what I was hearing
was space time being drawn into the black hole. I put my hand against the wall, hearing a childs
voice saying, down the drain. I pulled my hand back. The sound of the childs voice was so
real. Was it a random thought? An hallucination? The voice didnt disturb me. The voice
sounded even happy, like a child who had just had a bath and the parent was holding him as they
sat there watching the water go down the drain, the child wrapped in a warm, fluffy towel. I
imagined if I were ever a parent, I would hold a child just like this and watch the water twirl
around the drain, and speculate together where it all goes. But here and now, I just wanted to go
with it. I wanted to be done. What would happen if I flew into the black hole?
Jon, LT was there, touching my arm, drawing in close. Are things so dire?
I didnt look at her. No, I said. I am just feeling really tired.
LT pulled me into an embrace. I am with you, she said.
I know, I said. Its why I am not going to do it. Then I saw a deeper truth. I pulled
back so I could be sure Loxy was looking at me. I have always dreamt of having a time machine
and rewriting my life. I have spent a life time re-inventing my life through fantasies and day
dreams. But since I met you, Loxy, I have not wanted to go back. I would endure my same life
over a million times, without changing one thing, just so I could meet you again.
Even if I didnt know your past, Jon, I could see that as being the most loving thing
anyone has ever said to me, right up there next to the love of God, Loxy said.
I was surprised. She and I had never spoken of God. Maybe we had, just not so directly.
Tell me more, I said, hearing the song Counting Blue Cars in my head. It fit nice with the

waterfall sound of a nearby black whole, and a part of me wanted to sing black hole sun, but
I returned to Counting Blue Cars.
Loxy considered her statement, wanting to get it just right. Lots of people speculate as to
whether there is or isnt a God, using the crux of their arguments to try and explain why bad
things happen, which then brings in discussions on free will, and human complacency or
complicity, but what if your realization is the correct concept. Maybe God really does love
everyone so much that She will endure all of space-time, a million times over without changing a
thing, the good and the bad of it, even knowing She could change it all up, but she doesnt just
because she loves the people she meets at the end. She loves who we become.
I wish I had your vision, I said.
Jon, I only have this clarity because you have shaped the lens of my life, LT said.
Were on the verge of a storm, I said.
I know, LT said, intertwining her fingers with mine.
Home? I asked.
LT agreed. She took a meditative pose, which wasnt necessary, but she wanted to drive,
and so she took the pose and activated the mudras, and in no time, we arrived at planet Bliss. My
world now had a name. If I ever married, my name would become Jonathan Bliss. Changing
ones name was not changing ones history, but simply denoting the change.

LT and I played on arrival, and she faded into the back ground as I got a shower. I felt as if I
should be melancholy, but I just couldnt make it catch. Having sex with a Tulpa might explain
that. I found myself in a montage. Staring myself in the mirror. Cortana presenting me with fresh
clothes. A walk alone on the beach, thinking a dog might be nice. I took an air car for a fly. I
went to the highest mountain peak on my planet, had the air car drop me off and circle out so I
couldnt see it, and so I was standing there, looking amazed at the world. The wind whipped at
me and I thought I might fall, but I stood there, arms out stretched, drinking it in. I saw a shadow
man in a rainbow. And when I got too cold, I called the air car back. I could have pushed a
sphere and kept myself warm, but it felt nice just relying on tech. There were so many places yet
to explore on my world.
One of the features of my planet, partly due to terraforming, was the Great Orchard.
There was an orchard, fifty trees thick in girth that circled the planet at the equator, like belt of

trees. At this point, you might be asking yourself about oceans and continents. There are oceans
and continents, and where the oceans separate the continents at the equator, the Great Orchard
continues underwater in massive tunnel like structures, so that the orchard encircles the planet
uninterrupted. The top of the tunnel is transparent, so as you descend you have a variety of light
play from aqua green, to blue, to black, as the tunnel follows the seafloor. There are stretches of
tunnel that ride across chasms like a bridge, but for the most part, it simply rests on the sea floor.
At the darkest parts of the sea, tunnel lights shine full spectrum into the trees to keep them full,
but they cycle with the daily rhythm. At night it would be completely pitch black, except for the
sparkling of alien sea life, like a wash of stars and glowing bacteria that rained down like snow
outside the tunnel, and inside, fireflies, and tree lights like the whole under water tunnel is a an
orchard of trees holding Christmas tree lights. Some trees are rainbow light, some simply have
their own specific color. Berry bushes line the out walls of either side of the tunnel, and the lights
are so compact that bushes seem brighter, guiding the way down the tunnel.
The reason I was reminded of the tunnel was because I noticed the Shoshone tribe
walking the periphery of the Great Orchard. Cortana explained that since arriving, they have
dedicated themselves to returning to the purity of their nomadic days, and are taking advantage
of the orchard to sustain them by going on the Great Walk, ever walking eastwards. Cortana
assured me they were very content and happy, and were looking forward to going through the
Great Tunnel. An open invitation for me to join them had been extended to Cortana, who
maintained vigilance over their safety, responding to any medical needs they might have. I
decided to meet the only people presently on my planet, and descended down in the car. The
children observed me first, and became excited that Cortana might be bringing them gifts.
Do we have gifts? I asked Cortana.
There are snack bags in the trunk, Cortana said.
We arrived on the ground and I emerged, and the kids ran to me as if they knew me,
followed by the adults. Some of the men seemed apprehensive, but they didnt do anything
aggressive, but that might have been because Kimini and Sacagawea rushed me and smothered
me with kisses. I was first introduced to the chief, and then all the retired warriors, and the
women, and then the children, and then the horses. And then, the chief brought me into a circle
of men and we sat and shared water and pipe. I am fairly confident it was pure cannabis.

We are still discussing and inventing customs and rituals that will carry us through this
world, Honovi said, who was chief by virtue of his age, but elected by the people that had
assembled to bring a greater touch of humanity to my world. We are not all Shoshone. And
there is already been a split, one tribe going ever west, while we chose east. We expect our paths
to cross in the future, participating in a cycle of exchange or song and culture, and then we will
split again. It will take time to complete the Great Walk, but we are not rushed.
I had no reason to cry, but I found tears flowing. Maybe it was the pot.
Honovi nodded. You have not been a human for a long time, he said. You should take
your shoes and socks off, and walk with us until you have healed.
Oh, just saying that opened the flood gates of tears. I didnt sob, but I could so descend
into it. I wanted to say I was not worthy, but Honovi spoke more.
Jon, it is time to let go of what was and embrace the fullness of what we are now,
Honovi said. The Goddess, the trees, the squirrels, and you have provided us a chance to renew.
I want you to walk with us, barefoot, ride a horse with the Braves, share time with the women
who want to share time with you, learn to build a hut. But I insist you to go a full month walking
with us in silence. As much as your mind chatters, it may be difficult, but simply be with us in
quiet and let us and nature talk for you until you have learned the True Voice that moves through
us all.
I answered by removing shoes and socks. The braves cheered and there was to be a fire
and celebration this very night. I placed my jacket, shoes and socks in the air car and sent it
home. My first home, a tent, was constructed for me while being educated. Kimini slept with
me that night. There were several others that wanted a turn and Kimini instructed I should accept
the offer from Honovis wife, as she was eager to share my medicine with her husband, which
was the way of things in their world. I was going to say something but Kimini put a finger to my
lip and told me it would be okay, and then she invited Honovis wife in, and we engaged in
intimacy while Honovi stood outside the tent, assuring that we would not be interrupted. On
exiting, Honovi took his wife straight back to his tent, and the next retired warrior approached,
hand gesturing me to share his wife in a similar manner, because he would not be left out of this
and he expected to be next. I wondered, later, if I would be compelled to share my companions,
and LT answered my unspoken question, saying the Braves would never coerces a woman here,
because it had been decided that women will rule this planet. No man would own property, only

women. She also said, Loxy had already spent time with the chief, assuring him she intended to
share his medicine with you. We were already one as a people.
The first night with the people, I didnt sleep. Fortunately, I wasnt the slowest member
of the tribe, and so our walk wasnt diminished. Tent life was reserved for rain and or for times
when we tarried for more than three days. We would walk as far as we could in the day, sleep out
under the stars, in a scattering of groups. By the end of the third or fourth days walk, we erected
our tents and we would tarry for three days, harvesting food from the orchard. We ate squirrels. I
nearly came unglued, but I was assured they had gotten permission from the governing spirit,
and they recognized the squirrel as being the top totem animal spirit here. Fortunately, I had
agreed to keep my tongue and I had succeeded in not saying something harsh. And, discovered,
squirrel sausage isnt so bad.
A month into my silence, I heard voices. It was early morning, before dawn. I roused to
the voices of children playing. It took a moment to extract myself from Kiminis arms, but I
managed to do so without waking her and left the tent. In the starlight I could discern the swath
of the great Orchard available to my eyes. Children ran and played amongst the trees, kind of
like hide and seek, but what I heard was Jot Aay, which is probably not the right spelling, but
its how I heard it. It was the Thai version of peek a boo. LT stepped up beside me, giving me
a start.
Dont do that, I said, without speaking.
Um, I havent startled you in a while. You okay? LT asked.
Do you see and hear the children? I asked, telepathically.
I do, LT said.
Theyre not hallucinations? I asked.
No, LT said. You can see them. I can see them. Honovi can see them. Kimini, Alish,
Fersia. A couple other tribes members in the West Walking Tribe.
Alish? I asked.
Of course, LT said. These are your offspring, from your coupling with Alish.
I nearly spoke out loud.
Shortly after spending time with you, she discovered an outbreak of seed, and so she
scattered it across this world, and across time, and it appears that perhaps a hundred took hold in
the past. Some of the trees have become a part of the Great Orchard. Some are out standing alone

in a field. These children, are the first tree spirits to emerge into consciousness. The people of
both tribe have agreed, no trees will be cut from the Great Orchard, unless doing so is
necessitated to remove a disease tree, to spare it falling or harming a neighboring tree, and only
after a great deal of medicine and prayer has been applied to help it recover, LT said.
Alish and I have children? I asked in my head.
Kimini emerged from the tent and came to me, merging with LT, and then backing up, as
if realizing after the fact that a spirit was standing there.
Youre communing with the trees? Kimini asked.
I didnt answer. Kimini took my hand and led me to the nearest tree and placed my hand
on it.
You are now connected to the Great Mother. When you speak, the tree will translate for
you, and send you voice to all the trees, into the earth and sky, and souls will hear you, Kimini
said. This communication system has been in place before there were cell phones, and several
cultures on earth still use it.
Kimini touched the tree and communicated through the tree to me. Jon, I know the pain
you are holding about Alish and her world, but because of you, a variation of her kind will now
thrive here. The children you have seen this morning are the First Hundred. Human and tree
spirit have merged and they will guide our future generations. There is so much more to come. I
am inadequate to describe the visions I have had. I am so grateful for you, for this world, for
your touch and your words and your kindness. Thank you for enduring. Thank you for dreaming.
Thank you.
Kimini kissed me and then took me to the ground and made love to me in the Great
Orchard.
I did not sleep with the whole tribe. A couple of the braves were upset that their wife
didnt share time with me, some seemed releived. Honovi was the chief, but Sacagawea, the
medicine woman of this tribe, was actually in charge. At the end of three months of Silent
Walking, a circle was convened. Sacagawea sat in the honored, lead position, with Honovi to her
right. Kimini sat dead opposite her, which was also an honored position, and I sat to her right.
Braves and wives filled the gaps between us.
Sacagawea spoke. We are impressed by your silence. You have walked and learned, and
you have more ground to cover, but it is decided, you must be tried. Of all the great warrior from

your tribe, we have a great fondness for the one called Yoda. We are not a fan of the Skywalker
clan. They are a bunch of spoiled, whiny babies, but we tolerate them because they allow the
wisdom of Yoda to shine through. You have sufficiently healed that you are ready. You must
return to Earth and see your mother. When this is accomplished, you will be recognized as a full
shaman among us. Until that happens, you only be a visitor, with the respect of a desired guest.
You may now speak.
I dont want to go back, I said. My own voice surprised me. It was unexpected
consequence of being silent for three months. It sounded loud and harsh like hearing yourself on
a tape for the first time. I wanted to withdraw back into silence.
We know, but this is something that must be done, for you, for her, for Earth, for
humanity, Sacagawea said. It is a difficult path for you, but it is the path that will reap the most
rewards.
I was feeling panicky. I wanted to fight and argue and curse and throw a tantrum. I am
sure I heard distant thunder. If we danced now, the fire would erupt all the way up into space,
like a blow torch pushing an unprecedented stream of air. In this, a horse had snuck up behind
me and pushed the back of my head with its nose. The circle laughed. This was a serious circle
and laughter was still permitted. I laughed.
Dont be a Skywalker, Sacagawea translated for the horse. Go see your mother.

Chapter 8
I called for a car, said goodbye to my new tribe, and returned to Second Home. I wasnt hungry,
but I made a sandwich and put some Cheetos on the side. Cheetos, the unhealthiest food ever, but
that crunch makes your brain thinks its healthy because it sound fresh. I pour the remainder of
the bag on the plate, covering the sandwich. I then went and sat down in the living room in
silence. I sat on the floor, even though there was perfectly good couch behind my back. The
thing about chips is once you start you cant stop, but the crunching noise was bothering me in
the silence, my solution was to turn on a movie, as if to justify chip eating, or mask the sin of
eating the whole bag. I watched Good Will Hunting probably for the hundredth time, always
crying at the same parts. I long to be in a world where I had been friends with Robin Williams. I
wanted to be in a world he was still alive. I was so into the movie that I was only drawn out
when I reached for a chip to find no more, and at first I thought, wow, I dont remember eating
all that, but half of my sandwich was gone, too. Thats when I realized I wasnt alone. My
companions were there, everyone but Lester, who apparently was on strike and would not be
visiting my world for a while.
OMG, Jon, Janet said, sitting to my left, holding half the sandwich, chewing and
speaking at the same time. The sandwich had a layer of chips added. I have so missed chips!
You really shouldnt have tried to eat the whole bag, Loxy said. She was on my right
and not eating chips.
Alish was directly behind me, and I didnt exactly know it was her legs against my back,
that is until she brought them around me in a pleasant leg hug and I saw her green legs. Fersia
was licking Cheetos dust off her fingers. Keera was eating green tea chocolate KitKat, which
she had brought with her. Final credits were rolling. Fade in Afternoon delight. Anytime a
television series made a flashback episode, you pretty much knew it was going to suck. And with
the number of musical montages and flashbacks in my head of late, I was feeling I was in for
something really sucky ahead. If I was lucky, this wouldnt be the evil twin episode, because I
hate those episodes more than I hate the flashback episodes. And by God, if youre reading this
series and thinking this will make great movies, I expect first person cut scenes to made with
each movie, and saved not as extra footage, but so that when you do the fucking flashbacks,
youre not only using new footage from the original, but you get the damn perspective right! If
Im having a flashback, the camera should be my point of view perspective, and I should not be

physically seen in the scene! How fucking hard is that? Hell, one day, when I have the studio, I
am going to do a whole fucking season called True Flashback where the first episode is the
only episode, but the next ten shows is flipping perspective, and seeing all the things you missed
from the other, but still hearing the great story in the background.
Oh, Janet said, after swallowing her bite. Are you mad I ate half your food?
UH? Oh, no, I am just feeling out of sorts and distracted by own thoughts, I said.
Oh, let me clear your thoughts, Fersia crawled up to me, rolling in my lap, and putting
her paws against my chin.
Amused, I leaned in and kissed her forehead. And then I started crying. I got to go back
to earth.
We know, Alish said.
For a moment, I wanted to track how they knew, but then I decided it wasnt important.
They were magicians. They were my family. They actually give a damn.
I am going to with you, Janet said.
Really? You drew the short straw? I asked.
No one drew straws, Jon, Loxy said, taking my hand. Janet has classes with you, and
her classes are suspended until you accomplish this, so it just sort of makes sense she goes.
To make sure I follow through? I asked.
Jon, Alish said, pulling me back with her legs. She touched my head, drawing my eyes
up to her, and she kissed my forehead the same as I had kissed Fersia. Were magicians. No one
forces us to do shit we dont want to do. She could have substituted the word magician for
adults. If you dont want to do this, dont. This particular matter will resolve itself without your
interference. And we will still be here for you, whichever path you take.
Would you like me to expedite her departure? Janet asked.
I rolled my eyes. OMG, would you stop asking my permission to kill people?
I am an assassin. I have to have payment and authorization, Janet said. And our
classmates have been annoyed by the interruption and are willing to take up a collection to get
the job done, but, because you and I are friends, I wanted your permission first. After all, I dont
want to rob you of the opportunity to kill her, if thats what you need for closure.
There is no need for closure! I said. Why is everyone pushing me to close something
that was never ever even open?

I am not pushing you, Loxy said. No one here is. But, you cant even discuss this
without an increase in volume and Shatner level histrionics. Whatever it is youre touching,
whether its your mom, not your mom, fantasies about your mom or not
There are no mom fantasies, I interrupted.
You cant enjoy Tara Tainton mom videos without having some mom issues, Loxy
said.
I could just like Tara Tainton, I said.
I like her, too. I am more concerned about your fantasies with wanting to have a loving
mom, like Mrs. Brady, or Mrs. Cosby, or the mom from Family Ties. You know why you
connect so well with women? Its because you see in them all the good mom qualities that your
mom lacked, and you just want to touch that, be in that light, which is a good thing, but its
usually doesnt lend to long term relationships because after a certain point, you grow up just a
little more, and then you no longer need, or even want, to suck on moms tits.
Youre saying, when I am through chasing the ideal mom, or gathering all the aspects of
what might contribute to being an ideal mom, I will suddenly be monogamous? I asked.
My feelings were hurt when they all laughed at the same time. I nearly got up, but Loxy
and Janet held my arm, and Fersia was still laying on my lap. Alish pulled herself full on the
couch and rolled with laughter.
Jon, that door was closed a long time ago, Loxy said. The compulsion you sometimes
touch to be in a long term, monogamous relationship is your programmed social ideal, which
does benefit society by creating stability. But its not the only form of stability. Contrary to
popular belief, and cultural bashing aside, polygamy, even Mormon polygamy, works just fine.
Children in these environments always have a minimum of two adult caregiver, moms with
equal status, present at any one time. Yeah, youre going to hear the news that someone went to
extreme and was harming kids. But you hear about that because its rare, and because the
polygamy lifestyle is foreign to most people, it makes even better news, and because society is
trying to squash polygamy by impressing upon people, this is why we dont stray from the
norms! Save the children Save the children my ass. Did you know, child sex trafficking is at
greater rates in America than in Thailand? And did you know, its not the poor people buying
and selling kids, its the fucking rich CEO type and sports type people, and its why more kids
disappear during Olympics and Super Bowls, and these kids dont usually live to tell about it.

But, anyway, to back up my argument for polygamy: more than sixty percent of girls will
experience unwanted, unsolicited touching, and its generally comes from a member of the
family, not a stranger. And when you compile that factoid with reality that most people are in
nuclear families, then it becomes clear if anyone has a monopoly on child harm its the
normal folks that wont talk about it, or their funny uncle, or what room dad stumbles into
when hes drunk. The reason child molestations rarely happen in polygamy circles is because
there are too many good, attentive adults that are looking to protect the family from harm, where
as in a nuclear familys, with both parents working, there is less accountability when parents are
absent. We use to walk the Earth in tribes, where everyone was in eyesight. Were actually on
the verge of being that way again, where everyone is in eyesight, with tech or magic, and
accountability is going to return, but right now, Earth, is in a transition state, and there are people
lurking in the shadows waiting for you to be distracted by a text message while your kid comes
down the slide alone.
With all of that rant, which I agree with, which probably explains why I click so well
with her, all I got out of it was I dont have to worry about becoming monogamous. Well, thats
a relief, because I dont really want to cut anyone here off, but if I did, you know its going to
be...
Keera sighed. Loxy, Loxy, Loxy, she sang, like Martia, Martia, Martia. Please, Jon,
we know. We love her to. Were not jealous.
That sounded like jealousy, Janet pointed out.
No, If Thuy was here, that would be fucking jealousy, Keera said.
Fucking stalker shit kind jealousy, Fersia said. Why cant humans be more like cats?
Not everyone likes the back of their neck bit? Alish asked.
The girls looked to her like, You dont?
Jon, I want kittens, Fersia said. Are you game?
I had gone through life very clear that I dont want children. You would think someone
so firm on this would have had himself fixed. I did. It grew back. Yes, its rare, but it happens.
The body has amazing healing capabilities, and you dont even have to consciously think about
it, it just does it.
Speaking of kittens, I said. Alish and I are parents.

Folks repositioned themselves to look at us. Fersia came out of my lap and slapped my
chest. No fucking way!
I explained about my experience, reporting I had thought it had been a hallucination, but
that Kimini confirmed she could see and hear them, too. Alish seemed surprised, as if she didnt
expect any of the seeds she had scattered to the world would have taken. She began to cry. Loxy
drew up onto the couch, sitting on her right, and Fersia just walked over me to get to her, like a
child going over a parent to get the couch. Or a cat. Better stick with the cat analogy.
When Alish finished and was able to speak, she explained, I was told I would never
produce viable seeds. They told me my seed wasnt even useful as a food source or snack, that
they wouldnt even suffer it being in the community compost pile, and then part of her story
unraveled. One just assumes trees are peaceful, but they silently war with each other, and unlike
humans or squirrels, these battles can go on for hundreds of years. Where did you see them?
Take the sky car, ask Cortana to take you there, I said.
Ill go with you, Keera said.
I watched them leave, knowing I wasnt needed. I intuited that these visions of kids
playing were not human, the same as the reptilian species I had spent time with were not human.
These kids were wild spirits, playing and not at a place where an adult could reach them, but that
they would arrive, in time, to a place of awareness, and then they would seek out company. Still,
Alish wanted to see for herself. Alish stopped and returned, reaching out to me. I stood and she
embraced me tightly, tears hitting my shoulder.
Thank you, Alish said.
I
No, you did. You let me into your world. Thats how this works, Alish said. Thank
you.
And then she went with Keera.
Im not competing or anything, but now I definitely want kittens. And I want them with
you, Jon, Fersia insisted.
Before I commit, Fersia, I will need to go see my mother, I said. It suddenly felt like
the adult thing to do, as if, if I didnt do this, I might visit upon my children the unresolved inner
conflicts. I needed to see my mom, while being in a reasonable state of mental health, so I could
truly be done with the past. And only now, was I finally healthy enough to muster the strength to

confront her, not with the determination to change things or list grievances, but to face her, look
her in the eye, and say a final, civil, goodbye. Janet, you sure you want to go?
Are you kidding? Ive been longing to go home and kick some ass, Janet said. You
dont need me to hold your hand the whole trip, do you?
Amused, I said, Nah, go play.
Not play, kick ass, Janet said. If you ever saw the movie the Professional, well, Janet
is Natalie all grown up and properly trained. I am not saying she is Natalie, or even resembles
her, but if you wanted to know her character, well, that would be a good bet.
I hugged Loxy good bye, but she dodged the superficial and went right for the intimate
kiss. Try to find time for fun, not all mission and work, eh? Loxy said.
Got you, I said.
I hugged Fersia, but she latched on with all four, climbing me like a cat on a tree,
seriously biting my lip. She whispered in my ear. You cant fucking hold my head to the couch
and pound me from behind and not make me want kittens. I am so getting kittens out of you.
Are you in heat? I asked.
Tarry a moment and find out, Fersia said.
Loxy peeled her off of me. Ill help her out until you can, Loxy said.
I was on the verge of making this scene linger, but Janet pulled me towards the arch. I
heard Loxy say, I am always with you, Jon, and then Janet and I were on Earth, with an
authorized pass, which was tantamount license to fire up magic and change the world. We
arrived in New York, coming out of the Ornate Passage.
OMG, rat on a stick! Janet pulled me to the nearest vending cart and order grilled meat.
Youre still hungry? I asked.
I am pregnant, Janet said.
Really?! I asked.
No, but watching your reaction, priceless! Janet said, kissing me, her lips barbecue
flavor. Yes, I wanted to eat her, even if it were in the middle of central park on the Great Rock.
By the way, while we are here, my alias is Jane Bond.
Oh, please, I said.
No, not oh please. Bond. Jane Bond, Janet insisted, pointing the meat stick at me. She
pushed the meat up to hide the point. Clear.

As long as I am not Money Penny, I said.

Youd make a great Money Penny, Janet said. I might even have to take you to bed.
Take me to bed now or lose me forever, I said.
Whip it out, Janet said.
I need to go to Texas, I said.
Yeah, youre all talk today, Janet said.
Im tired. I was a long trip, I said.
We walked liked what, ten steps? Janet said.
And miles yet to go, I said. Have fun.
Youre not going to remind me not kill anyone? Janet asked.
Youre Magician, Janet, Jane, I said. Enjoy.
Jon? Janet said, calling after me, and when she was certain she had my attention. I
love you, too, you know?
I nodded, turned and walked back into the Ornate Passage way, but people were coming
out and I had to time my exit. I turned to look at Janet, but she was already walking away.

Chapter 9
I lingered long enough to watch Janet disappear into the crowd of New York. Watching her leave
was not procrastination, but the small bit once she was gone was. I love New York, love the
food, love watching the pedestrians, and getting around on the train, but after a while the noise
and activity level get to me and I just want to retire to my small, country home. If I did nothing
but watch women pass by, I would never leave. Even then, I was tempted to stalk a couple, or
break their world bubbles by introducing myself and starting a new timeline. Remember the
Matrix and Neo was distracted by the lady in red? I am sure she just went by me. But, I had work
to attend to, and so I turned and went back through the Ornate Passage expecting to arrive in
Texas. I did not. I mean, I might have been in Texas, but I had no clue which state I was in.
I found myself in a park. A kiddy park. There were a couple toddlers running about,
yelling for a parent to look at what they were doing, and the parents responded verbally, but
never looked up from their phones. If the kid snatcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang showed up,
the parents would be hours into their cell phones before they realized something was amiss. And
then Fribourg stepped up to me.
Mr. Harister, Fribourg said. You finally had the courage to show up. And without a
lawyer! I am impressed.
Oh, bloody hell, Fribourg, I cringed. What the hell do you want?
You threatened me, Fribourg said. I am too close to taking over the Universe, and I
dont have the luxury of waiting around for your petty threat to manifest itself, like a zit before
prom night. I want to bring it to a head and pop it before becomes too annoyingly obvious and
distracting.
I wish I wasnt so annoyed with him. Yeah, hes the evil twin David Sandler want to be,
but still, there is something about him that makes you want to keep him around, if nothing other
than to bring your car around and open the door for you. He was casually dressed, like Mr.
Rogers after switching his jacket and shoes out.
When did I ever threatened you? I asked.
You said if I destroyed Summers World, you would retaliate, Fribourg said. Well, in
the words of my friend Pat, hit me with your best shot.
Again, I cringed. You understand that song is an off handed romance song, akin to
Britneys plea to be hit one more time? I asked.

Yeah, He nodded. It sounded better in my mind when I was rehearsing it than when I
just said it. I am not gay.
Yeah, youre fairly effeminate, I said. And not the fun, eccentric kind that might make
you eligible to be a Doctor.
I am a Doctor, Fribourg protested.
Youre a Whovian? I asked.
What?
No, Who, I corrected.
No Who What? Fribourg demanded.
Oh, theres a comedy here, but I cant get it further, I said. Look, Fribourg. I am sorry
I implied a threat. I was scared and frustrated with you. I am sorry. I take it back.
Nope, Fribourg said. No take backs. I expect you to follow through. Lets do this.
I am not here to fight with you. I am here to visit my dying mother, and then I am
leaving this world never to return, I said.
I will permit you to see your dying mother, but I have spell bounded you away from
Safe Haven. You will not be able to return there, until I am dead or satisfied.
I am not fighting you, I said. I am sure as hell not getting you off. Hell, you didnt
even destroy Summers World. That was an act of nature.
I destroyed the Sumerians! I brought about the Great Flood, and it is I who will
unleash the Four Horses of the apocalypse upon the people of Earth unless I get what I want,
Fribourg said. And right now, all I want is you!
Now, that sounded really gay, I pointed out.
Did you protest when Darth Vader said, My son is here, I can feel him? Fribourg
asked.
I cringed a little, I said. Lucas was a little careless sometimes with the script.
Stop calling me gay. You will not goad me into firing a shot out of turn. I destroyed
Summers World, now its your turn to strike back. I am holding you to your word!
Dude, you didnt destroy Summers World, I said, realizing he had said Sumerian?!
Oh, wow. I nearly got lost on the tangent. Technically, I could sue you for breach of contract, or
at minimum, false advertisement.

I brought that asteroid to Earth. I rained down hell upon the Sumerians because they
refused to bow down to my superiority, Friborg said.
You do understand that being grandiose can be sign of a mental illness, I said.
I am putting a time limit on this, Fribourg said. The longer you delay, the more
unpleasant things will come.
Youre going to torture me? I asked.
Oh, no. Youre a magician. Youd enjoy that too much, or disappear into another
world, Fribourg said. No, I am going to torture other people and make you watch, so that you
will feel guilty and which will cause you to become enraged and you attack thoughtlessly,
allowing me to subdue you and make you my permanent slave.
OMG, Fribourg, youre exhausting, I said. I am not fighting you!
Let their deaths be on your head, Fribourg said, dramatically.
If you kill anyone, it will be on you, I said.
No, if you dont follow through on your promised attack, it will be on you, Fribourg
said.
No, Fribourg, I am not God, and I will not kill you just to absolve yourself of free will.
If you do stupid stuff, its on you, I said. Death is a liberty, Sir, and I am not freeing you to
roam the Universe. Go ahead, do your worse.
So, its on, Fribourg said.
No, its not, I said.
Yes, it is, Fribourg insisted.
OMG, Morlon, if you want an argument, go talk to Monty Python, I said. How do I get
out of this fucking drama, I asked myself.
As if on cue, two extremely attractive women arrived. They were wearing short skirts,
and carrying silver brief cases that were locked to their wrists by handcuffs. They stepped up to
either side of me.
I knew you were in cahoots with him! Fribourg said.
What? I asked.
Yeah, feign ignorance all you want. You want to escalate, I can escalate, too, Fribourg
said.

Fribourg took a ring off his finger, threw it into the air. It expanded into a hoop, and
when it fell, it fell over him, taking him to another place, and when the hoop was resting on the
sidewalk, and Fribourg was gone, he reached up, grabbed the hoop, and pulled his ring to the
other side, wherever that other side was.
The girls turned to me.
Mr. Harister? Thing One said. Yeah, I should use their name, but this gives them
plausible deniability.
Yes, I asked.
You need to come with us, Thing Two said.
Rarely in life is the answer to a binary question so simple. Of course I went with them.
They led me to a limo, where Thing Two opened the door for me and invited me to get in. Thing
One smiled pleasantly and nodded. There were additional models already situated in the vehicle,
each carrying their own brief case. This was no longer a binary answer set to a simple question,
but there was still only one answer. I got in and was encouraged to scoot over so that Thing One
could get in beside me. I now had a model on either side of me and three in front of me. (Hence
the reason I kept Thing One and Two, because now there was Three, Four, Five and Six.) Thing
Two climbed in, and instead of the others making room for her, she sat on my lap. Thing One
closed the door and the limo departed. We drove to a building, pretty sure it was the Pegasus
building, where we took a secret, hidden elevator up. The buttons were labeled in hundreds, and
they pushed button 500. Oh, and if I failed to mention, on exiting the limo, all the models exited
and escorted me to the elevator, and there were models waiting for us as the limo arrived, more
models joined us as we entered the building, and even more models waiting inside the elevator,
and I was positioned in the middle of them all. This was better than being sandwiched between
the Robert Palmer girls grinding out Addicted to Love. We all exited the lift and got into lift
across the hall, where more models were in and waiting. One of the waiting pushed 599 while
simultaneously using a physical key, and responded to a request for a retina, hand, and voice
recognition to be supplied. The only other possible recognition system would needed a pap
smear entry. We were so packed in the elevator, it was impossible not to be touched, and
nowhere for my hands to go that didnt touch thigh or ass. And the elevator music was not the
dorky elevator music, but dance hall beat, with the girls twerking against me. Several times I
fear the lift might come off its own cables. We exited the lift and emerged into an office suite;

the elevator was recessed into an alcove that opened up onto an office, with descending stairs. As
I was ushered down the stairs, models took up position on each stair down, so that my escorts
stood in columns and rows, blocking the elevator exit. As I descended down to the floor, the
models filling in behind me, a man stepped up to greet me.
Howie? I asked, reaching out my hand in greeting.
He stepped back, pointing at me. Dont touch me, he said.
I withdrew my hand. Sorry, Mr
And dont say my last name, Howie said.
Because?
Because, as a magician and a writer, I cant guarantee you will keep this encounter
private, but I can stipulate that you not use my last name, in either transcript or oral renditions,
Howie said.
Given the girls with the briefcases and your first name, I think people can figure it out,
I said. How many people named Howie do you imagine there are?
I will settle for that level of assumed ambiguity, Howie said. Now, come have a seat.
I was drawn to a large table, with twenty people sitting. Not people like in all humans,
but twenty beings. Howie took the seat at the head of the table where I took the guest seat to his
right. Howie introduced me to Bill, on his left. Bill was recognizable, but I wasnt permitted to
dwell on it as I was introduced to the others and trying to keep up. I would be hard pressed to
recall names given to me, much less pronounce them. One, a female, was a Kelindian, and was
impressive in that she was at minimum eleven feet tall, but other than that, a perfectly proportion
human female. Beside her sat a human size praying mantis. There was a bear, perhaps a grizzly
polar bear mix, next to the mantis. There were several remote controlled robots, offering place
holders for beings that were not able to survive on land or in air. As Howie introduced people, I
found myself drifting into boredom, my attention going out to the clouds beyond the window,
and eventually drawn back to the models and their suitcases.
Howie snapped his fingers in front of my face. Try and to stay focus, Howie said.
I nearly protested that I was focused. The girls flashed random smiles and winks at me,
and I had the impression of Christmas tree lights and I was so willing to say, chuck the
briefcases, just give me the models. Why have you brought me here? I asked.

Brought you here? Its not like you were compelled against your will, Mr. Harister,
Howie said. And there is clear evidence that you enjoyed it. Consider it complimentary for
agreeing to join us today. We, gathered here, are a consortium of sorts, representing nine
thousand nations, spread across 150 worlds, each supporting at minimum- ten billion sentient life
forms. We have diversified interests, but mostly we specialize in tech, both hardware and
software, and have incentives in keeping tech separate from magic. Still, reality being what it is,
it is impossible to completely eradicate magic, and so, from time to time, we find it necessary to
hire a magician.
So, you want to hire me
Hold on, Sir, I am building to that. You dont want to just jump right to the million
dollar suitcase, do you? Howie asked.
Um, yeah, I do, I said.
Well, tough. This is my show, and we always start with the teaser, Howie said. Now,
we made the mistake of hiring Morlon Fribourg to do a job. He has failed to fulfill his end of the
bargain to our satisfaction. There are rumors that there is animosity between the two of you and
that he considers you his nemesis.
I hardly doubt that I rise to such a title, I said.
None the less, he fixated on you, Howie said.
Wed like to hire you to kill him, Bill said.
Howie turned to Bill. Who is running this show, Bill?
You are boss, Bill said.
Did I ask you to speak? Howie asked.
No, boss. Sorry. Software glitch, Bill said.
Contain it, Howie said. He turned back to me and smiled, pleasantly. We are
interested in hiring you to take on Fribourg.
I considered. I find it disturbing that a committee of this this perceived prominence
would hire an assassin, I said. If youre unhappy, why dont you just fire him?
Did you flunk Wizardly economics one oh one? Howie asked. No one fires a
magician. A magician will only depart when they are satisfied they have accomplished their task
and received payment in full. Short of those two conditions being met, there is no getting rid of a
magician. They can linger like a bad, garlic, anchovys pizza. Yeah, it taste great going down,

but it keeps coming back to haunt you, and interrupts your sleep, and you feel bloated but cant
get it out, even after a whole bottle of the pink stuff.
Pep
Eh! Howie blocked. We havent secured the endorsement rights.
I nearly said, oh bloody hell again today, and I am not even British.
And magicians of Fribourgs status are rarely satisfied, Bill added.
Howie dropped his head into his arms, exhausted. Bill, who has the floor?
You do, boss, Bill said.
Then why do I keep hearing your voice? Howie asked. Its bad enough your name is
in the operating system on my computer. Howie came back up to me. You give a person their
dream computer company and they still think they own the world. Anyway, we, this prestigious
ensemble, would like to hire you
I am not interested, I interrupted.
You cant say no deal until youve heard the deal, Howie said.
All my needs are met. I cant be bought, I said, standing. And I dont intend to sit here
collaborating in the demise of another human being, even if he is the most annoying, pretentious
son of a bitch I have ever met.
I was about to step away from the table when Howie brought out an offer. We can make
it possible to save Alishs planet, Howie said.
I paused. How do you know about this? A green person, a female tree spirit, leaves in
her hair, at the end of the table smiled affectionately at me. It was a nice smile. One that said
kiss me and run away at the same time.
We are a consortium of prestigious people. We know things, Howie said. And, we
happen to own the collective shares of consent necessary to make this particular pathway open.
However, this offer has a limited time frame. The further we go from the terminal event, the
fewer critical shares we have to push the change.
I sat back down. You have the ability to undo this and youre holding off in order to
bribe someone into doing your dirty work?
We dont have the final authority to undo the event, Howie said. That requires a
magician and a consensus within the collective unconscious. We own the consensus. You are the
magician to make this happen.

Provided I kill Fribourg, I asked.

Thats the deal, Howie said.
I sighed. I will not be a party to this, I said.
One life for the 500 trillion on Alishs world? Howie said.
500 trillion? I asked.
Is a species of trees, Jon. Her whole planet is basically a forest, Howie said. Trees
capable of projecting their consciousness, becoming people or animals as necessary to shape and
maintain the forest. They are really an incredible species, well worth saving.
Given they had a tree person at the table, I suspected they had already harvested samples
and spread them across the galaxy. Cant you just hire me to save them, and leave Fribourg out
of the equation? I asked.
Excellent, now we are negotiating. From now on, the dialogue will be all about what it
will take to make this happen, with the caveat, the clock up there is ticking, Howie said,
pointing to one of maybe forty count down clocks. You want to save them. Which means, youd
basically do our job for free. Not many magicians would do it for free, mostly because of their
fear of creating a greater imbalance on their head. That makes it hard for us to find the right
magician to make it happen because there has to be sufficient incentive and costs, and
obligations. Something we are able and willing to provide. You do understand, saving her world
wouldnt even be the bigger part of the compensation. There are other perks to working with us
and being on payroll. And, as far I am concerned, you are on payroll from the moment we started
negotiating, and will continue to draw salary until you have accomplished our agreed upon task
of eliminating Fribourg, with a huge bonus at the end. My understanding is, he is preparing for
battle with you.
Yeah, which means, I am not going to sneak up on him. Its going to take some major
effort to unseat him, and likely cause a lot of damage and mayhem, and untold collateral deaths,
I pointed out.
We are prepared to authorize whatever force you deem necessary to make it happen,
Bill said.
Howie picked up a pencil and broke it and threw it Bill and everyone cringed as if fall
out might fall on them and when he finished raging, he was as calm and collected as if it never
happened. Bill, you speak out of turn one more time, Howie said, looking to the ceiling as if

contemplating starting another countdown clock. So help me, I am going to liquidate your
shares.
Howie sighed, turned to me and smiled. He snapped his fingers and a movie screen rolled
down on the far side of the table.
Mr. Harister, look at the face of Fribourg, Howie said.
Thats Adam Sandler, I said.
No, its Fribourg, Howie said.
No, that is Adam Sandler. Its a still shot from the movie Pixels, I said.
Thats what he would like you to believe, Howie said. But he is evil incarnate. He is
the antichrist.
Yeah, well, if you actually did your homework on me, you would know that I would not
be swayed into action by outdated paradigms, I said. I mean, really? Antichrist? The opposite
of a Christ? Youre either Christ, or youre not. There is no opposite of a human being, God or
not. Now, there is an opposite of an ideal, good versus evil, so are you personifying good versus
evil, or good versus bad, because bad doesnt necessarily mean evil, which doesnt mean there
isnt evil, just means we need to be very clear exactly how awful bad is. I could make an
argument that people in a consortium deliberating over killing one person to further their agenda
while sitting on permission to act to save a planet of beings is fairly evil.
Howie started a video on the big roll down screen. It showed a woman with her exposed
knees in the air and a doctor and nurse ready to catch a baby being born. I questioned the scene
because the womans legs were looking pretty good and if you took out the doctor and the nurs
and the fact that she was pushing a baby I would been preparing for a porn set up. The mother
appeared to be conscious, but pushed effortlessly without complaint. It was so perfect, I
wondered if the sound was muted, but the doctor coughed, as if bored. The nurse complimented
the Doctor, as if he had done something miraculous. Contrary to popular belief, having babies is
not a medical event. As soon as the baby was out, and smacked, it was crying. The doctor held a
gun like device to its head and pulled the trigger. The baby ceased crying.
He just killed the baby? I asked.
Howies used his remote to zoom into the baby. It was not dead. It actually looked happy.
Welcome to your future, Mr. Harister, Howie said. This baby just completed its first
medical procedure. A Temporal Lobe biochip was inserted into its brain. A TLBC is basically a

cellphone, allowing the host to receive and send calls, texts, and immersive media content all
contained directly in the human brain, Howie said. This doctor has just put the TLC in the
TLBC. Everyone will have these implants in the future. It comes with a lot of benefits, actually.
For example, there will be no more diapers. The chip will send a text to the nearest adult figure
alerting said adult to the fact that this child is about to pee or poop, giving the caregiver time to
get the infant or child to the nearest toilet. Other benefits include, no more having to guess if the
baby is hungry, scared, or hurting. You get texts for those events, too. You even get text alerting
you to the infants need for affection, with the promise of pokemon go coins for those difficult
parents who are resistant to parenting.
Oh, but thats not all. Thanks to this immersive cellphone tech, most people live in
virtual worlds, which minimizes the effects of poverty in the real world. TLBC allows for
auditory, visual, tactile, olfactory and taste stimuli to be received and or transmitted, and even an
apps for creating your own sensations, and looping for self-pleasure, or options to share. No
more selfies in this world. The share options as turned youtube productions into reality sharing
and stalking heaven. We have moved way past selfies at this point. You live in a shit world,
dont worry, just add color with the internal paint app! All those Tara Tainton point of view
videos you love so much, its like really being there.
Really? Does everyone in the world know I like Tara Tainton? I asked.
Bill raised his hand. Howie blocked. Do you think Bill here hasnt compiled a list of
your favorites? Tara, Natalie Wonder, Rebecca Love, Lelu Love, Howie began. Do you really
want me to list the sick stuff you watch? Anyway, where was I? Ah, consequences. And,
consequently, thanks to tech, society has redefined what it means to be child and adult. Weve
eliminated the word adolescent from the language set. From birth to age 12, you are child, and
you get free, unlimited TLBC usage, but limited access. As an adult, you get unlimited access,
but you have to work in order to get funding to support your continued use of TLBC. Thanks to
this, there are no police officers. People willingly submit and comply with laws because any
violation that is witnessed by a TLBC owner results in a ping against your own TLBC number,
which could mean loss of points, or accrual of fines that have to be paid before full, normal use
of your device is permitted. Youd be surprised the kind of hoops people would jump through to
keep from losing their cellphone access. That number on peoples foreheads? Well, thats a cell
phone number.

But wait, that isnt the best feature. There are no more wars. Let me elaborate, there are
no more real, physical conflicts. There are simulations of combat through games, but no more
real conflicts. Weve even eliminated divorces. Of course, there are no more marriages, either.
Not people to people marriages. People are married to their cellphones. Procreation continues to
happen, but people dont even know who they are hooking up with because they are navigating
blind from a virtual landscape, so who they see isnt necessarily who they are hooking up with.
And, there is some controls on this. Collectively, all users agreed to give up their guaranteed
right to procreate, so only people the collective society agrees to procreate will contribute eggs or
seeds. Non contributors are not unhappy, because their needs are met virtually, and if they desire
more physical releases, the robots mixed with the virtual overlays more than suffice. So,
consequently, the human species has decreased the spread of disease by being a heartier stock or
simply blocking unhealthy people from contributing to the genetic pool. There is no more real
world rapes. Just the pretend, virtual rapes. There is very little real hunger, again because people
are willing to work to get their bit coins to fuel their virtual lives. And all adults are potential
parents, and are required to respond to any child text alert, and they do so because not doing so
results in penalties, which means, children are happier, and eventually become happier adults.
This is crazy bizarre, I said. Youve taken cellphone addiction to the next level.
This is beyond addiction, Mr. Harister. It is life, Howie said. This is where Borg
society starts. No, let me be more precise. This is where Fribourg society starts. And people love
it.
Theyre slaves, I said.
Arent we all slaves to our needs and addictions? Howie asked. But just try and
liberate them. At this point, severing them from the network would result in a murderous rage.
You only think the world Rick is in with all the Zombies and psychopaths is bad. Do you really
want to separate people from their love of tech?
Its not real, I said.
They are free. They perceived themselves as rich beyond means, and in truth they are
richer than any past king or queen, Howie said.
Why would you do this to people? I asked.
We didnt design this. It was a system flaw. We hired Fribourg to find a metaphysical
way to end the growing addiction to tech, and he will be the one to introduce the TLBC in order

to better harness the untapped magical potential of the masses, Howie explained. He may not
have built the original apps and social media avenues that are currently drawing people into
zombie land, but he has found a way to harvest the power of their souls through their general
discontent. Society is on the brink of the biggest obstacle never even contemplated. Its going
face itself or go extinct.
Why me? I asked.
I dont understand the question, Howie said.
Why are you asking me to take on Fribourg?
He chose you. We dont know why. Perverse luck? I am sure your metaphysical friends
back at Safe Haven would offer some reasonable psychobabble rationale for the meaning of life
and everything. I dont really need to break it down into Freudian psychometrics to understand
my intent here, Howie said.
What do you get out of this? I asked. The girls were still there, flashing sparkling
smiles as if they were in a dental commercial, sometimes winking, and sometimes shifting their
weight from one hip to the other. It almost seemed liked they were on video loop, and I was
looking for the pattern every I time I glanced their way.
Howie snapped at me, drawing me back to him. I am not at liberty to discuss our
benefits, however, I assure you, we share the benefits, Howie said. The future of humanity,
and Alishs people, are all dependent on how this conflict ends. The conflict is going to happen,
whether you have our backing or not. We are just trying to hasten you and Fribourg to its
obvious conclusion.
That doesnt make sense. If its going to happen with or without my consent, why are
you wasting time and resources to entice, or better, goad me, into a conflict that I dont want? I
asked.
Because we know you. We suspect there is a 90 percent probability that you are going to
take the higher road, the path of the saints to martyrdom. We are not telling you how to resolve
this, but I can assure you, weve run the numbers, and that path results in the highest level of
consequential conflict, death, and destruction. It will be the equivalent of plummeting the entire
galaxy back to the stone ages. Think Star Wars times a hundred. The evil that is on the verge of
coming is beyond your present understanding. The Galaxy needs a hero, Jon. The Earth needs a
hero. The Universe has chosen you. You accepting our offer just makes it official.

I didnt trust this. If there is a bad side to the Force, well, these guys were the Empire
representatives. I pushed away the table and stood up. Ill think about it.
A very reasonable position, Howie said. He pointed to the clock. That timer runs out,
then saving Alishs planet is off the table. It doesnt mean you wont still be compensated, but
just that door get closed permanently. Meanwhile, we have a luxury suite prepared for you.
Strange One, show him his new home.
Wait, wait, wait, I said. Strange One?
What do you call her? Thing One? Howie said.
Yeah, actually, I said.
Oh, thats so Doctor Seuss, Howie said, laughing. The girls laughed. If you prefer a
different Strange, pick a number one through fifty two. You could have the girl, or whatever is in
the brief case, or both.
I hate when people know my vice and you think I would take the higher ground and
simply refuse, but I am all grown up now, and I dont play well with others. You know the
temptations of Christ and Buddha, well, fuck it, if the devil leads with sex, I am going with sex.
Howie, Howie, Howie, I cant fuck an unwilling partner.
Strangers? Any volunteers to fuck Jon? Howie asked.
All of the Strangers stepped forwards, down, and a little closer, but kept their formation.
I assure you Jon, they are well compensated and very willing to rock your world, better than a
drunk sex surrogate lost at a whore house. Once you have Strange, you dont go back, Howie
said.
I know, but Howie, theyre all so, amazing, I complained, still going for difficult. This
is not a decision one can make on a game show in front of millions of viewers. Just to make sure
I have made the best choice, I am going to need to sample each one individually, and then in
combinations of threesomes and foursome and more-somes, until I have all 52 at the same time.
Howie blinked. For a moment I thought he was going to rage at me. He certainly had
more pencils to break and it was clear, the only reason the pencils were there was so that he
could break something. Bill swallowed.
Jon, I appreciate your inflated virilitys ego, but really, a person shouldnt eat the whole
box of chocolates, Howie said.
I assure you, I could eat all of these chocolates, I said.

Do you know how long it will take you to go through all the variations that you just
proposed? Howie demanded.
Math really wasnt my forte, I began.
Assuming the average ten minute Strange session, adding in refractory period, rest,
food, showering, youre probably looking at 13 years, sixty
Howies glare brought Bills speech to an incomplete close. Dont do that. Jon and I are
negotiating, not asking for a spread sheet.
I like spread sheets, boss. What a better way to use Office, Bill said.
Howie waved him off, frustrated. Jon, youre being unreasonable
You called me into this negotiation, Sir, I said. I dont want money. I dont want
fame. But I could fuck a whole lot of Strange.
God, I fucking hate working with magicians, Howie complained.
Just out of curiosity, what did you pay Fribourg? I asked.
Sorry, thats privilege information, Howie said. He looked around the table for consent.
He looked to the Strangers, who shrugged indifferently, if not Yeah, why not, and then back to
me. Very well, enjoy the Strange.
I then pointed to several of the females at the table, including the 11 foot Kelindan. I
want to fuck them, too.
Jon, theyre my colleagues! Howie said.
Yeah, and since youre asking me to get in bed with you, I am telling you which ones I
approve being in bed with, I said. And I am not metaphors and vernacular euphemisms, if
were in bed, were fucking in bed. So if theyre at the table theyre on the table, and I am so
with on the table if they prefer.
And they said you were a freshman, Howie said. Fuck your way through the strange,
but my colleagues are off the table until you fully commit to taking on Fribourg.
Youre saying when I do, I have to fuck them on this table? I asked. In front of
everyone?
Oh, youre messing with me! Howie said.
I thought you didnt like to be touched, I said. Relax. Im only into females. We all
have our neuroses, dont we?
This is meeting is done, unless you want to commit now? Howie said.

Samples before commitment, I said.

Strange One, show him to his suite, Howie said. Unless you want to start from the
middle.
One is such a lonely number. Almost as lonely as Two. One and Two should escort me
to my room, I said.
This is going to take fucking forever! Howie said.
God, I hope so, I said.

Chapter 10
My luxury suite was pretty sweet. Not that I spent much time really attending to it. I did notice
that it was in the clouds and looking down gave a view of the entire Dallas Fort Worth
metroplex, and I was fearful planes may crash into us, but for whatever reason, that didnt
happen. Strange One and Two removed the handcuffs and set the brief cases on the counter.
They opened their cases. Case One contained a countdown clock and a smartphone. Great, a
reminder that time was ticking away and device to help to waste time. I sat the clock on the
counter and left the smartphone in the case. Case two was much more practical. My hands
trembled as I reached for the content, held secure in tight, black felt, which made the tool gleam
as if it were a musical instrument being opened for the first time. I picked up the Lightsaber and
examined it, even looking down into the business end, which is really kind of stupid, but, hey, I
was curious. Strange One and Two were alarmed and pulled it away from my face.
Be careful! Its real, Strange Two said. This activation button is security locked to
your fingerprint. It wont work for anyone else.
I stepped back and activated the blade. OMG, I nearly came. You have probably held a
vibrator before, right? Im not talking about a tiny, pocket vibrator. This is like a fucking car size
Sybian, and it rocks you at the cellular level. A non-sorcerer, non-Jedi, type might have dropped
the damn thing from sheer shock, but having become more sensually orientated since starting my
Magician-ship, I found it perversely pleasurable. Moving the blade through the air was equally
sensational. Every orientation of the blade brought a different harmonic experience. I had never
known just how sexually sensuous it was to carry a sword, even a light sword. The light of my
blade was one I had never seen in the movies. It was Gold. Glowing gold, like molten gold. I
named the sword Precious, because it was going to be the one sword that ruled them all. OMG, I
was in ecstasy. I deactivated the blade.
And I can keep this? I asked.
Its part of the entitlement incentive, One said. Yes. Its yours.
Do you know how when you watch a movie where the lead actress is a model who has
never done any acting before, and the moment that she speaks her lines, it becomes clear to you
why she was never chosen to be an actress? This was how Strange One and Two spoke. They
look amazing. That last sentence is an understatement. Thats why the producer and director put
them in the movie, and the more you watch the film, it becomes more and more painfully

obvious that the producer and the director were clearly drunk, high on meth, or thinking that by
putting her in the movie would get them some fucking strange, because there is no fucking way a
producer or director worth their salt ould allow this travesty to continue. Some potentially great
movies have been ruined by poor cast selection. What made this realization about Strange One
and Two more profound was that, they shouldnt have been acting. They should have been
themselves, because this was a private scene, and I wanted to know what they would be like
alone, or at home, but they were clearly just trying to act, and were not themselves.
So, would you like to fuck in the living room, or in the bedroom? Two asked.
The answer to that would have been yes. Both. And I saw it. This was fake. It was a
setup. The Strangers were probably real people, or maybe they were a long time ago before they
started working for the Empire, but clearly, there was no one home. Of course, this was my
intuition or fear. There was no way for me to prove these were automatons. Short of their perfect,
Britney breast firing bullets at me, there was no way to determine if they were really human, and
if they had a soul, well, hell, I cant even prove I have one. I think I have one, but maybe I just
think I have one because thats part of the computer glitch.
You may ask, did I fuck them anyway? Well, yeah. I would fuck a toaster if it wasnt
made of steel. I mean, really. You hear about all the objects women have put in them, from
cucumbers to the leg of a flipped chair. If you track a males life, invariably every single one of
them has fucked at least one couch, a pillow, a sock, a cored peach, a surgeons glove blown up,
toilet paper rolls, paper towel rolls, and a string of artificially created vaginas, which I suspect is
how the world of inventions originated. Yeah, the men who wandered too far from the tribe
were thinking, I wonder if there is something safer to stick my penis in than this beehive, so he
sculpted a perfect woman in the sand, but it just didnt work quite right, and the waves came and
washed her away. I am not an expert craftsman, just an average wood worker and construction
worker. My home looks decent, but someone like the engineer I dated would go through and find
all of my flaws. She might recognize the utilitarian modality of my choices, but she wouldnt see
my design as aesthetically pleasing. But if you saw some of the artificial vaginas I had made over
the year, and you were a teenage boy, you might call me a fucking god, because some of them
were down right ingenious. Of course, no one would ever know, because there is a double
standard when it comes to sex toys. Society approves toys for women and will wink nod and go
about their business, but if a guy uses a toy, well, there is a whole list of names for such a person.

I suspect the reason why we encourage the sexuality of women and want them to be more sexual
while simultaneously discouraging men, is because somewhere in the marketing scheme the men
on the top want all the vaginas to themselves. Granted, there may be some problems with my
conspiracy theory. For example, if it were true, you would think homosexuality and toys would
be highly promoted, because both those pathways leave more vaginas for the men in charge. A
lesser theory I hold just suggest males are fucking stupid, at least when it comes to sex. More
specifically, being male and being somewhere on the Austism Spectrum Disorder should be
synonymous.
Yeah, I fucked One and Two and while they slept in the aftermath. I was laying there,
between the two, tolerating Ones snoring till I received a telepathic call. I didnt have to turn
One over, but I turned her own her side, and took the thought call.
Jon? You okay?
Janet, I mean, Jane, can I still call you Janet privately, I asked.
Only in bed, Janet said. Guess where I am.
Um, New York, I said.
Oh, yeah, but more precisely, Janet said.
Um, a book store, next to a potted tree, I said. Theres a life size cutout of Loxy, part
of the display holding my books, and youre holding the anime version with Japanese text on the
cover.
Fuck me, youre getting good at this, Janet said. How does it work for you? Are you
like watching a movie with a split screen?
Sort of, only its two worlds, and its kind of confusing, because I am having to attend to
both at the moment, I said. You dont see me?
Well, if I were to guess, I would say youre in bed with a naked woman, Janet said.
Pretty close, I said.
Shes not naked yet? Janet asked.
Oh, theyre both naked, and at the moment, unconscious, I said.
You dosed two girls? Janet asked.
Oh, Janet, I am hurt, I whined.
You never wanted to fuck sleeping girls? Janet asked, skeptical.
Of course I have, but I am not going to dose someone to get laid, I said.

Id be okay with it, Janet said.

You want someone to dose you and take advantage of you? I asked.
Not someone, Jon, just you, Janet said. And make sure you video tape it so I can
watch it with you when I am awake.
You know those videos where youre aroused but youre on a serious phone call and
cant really do anything about it, because you dont want to end the call, but you have this
massive hard on, but there is also a girl in the room who has discovered your massive hard on,
and she begins taking advantage of it, and you give a half ass protest to feign disinterest, but you
cant protest too loud without giving it away to the person youre speaking with on the phone,
and so your job becomes not letting the person on the phone know that youre getting molested
or fucked? Janets voice in my head had me hard again, and I was on my side facing Strange
One, and she had back into me to spoon, but when her butt found my erection, she simply put it
in and started grinding. The motion on the bed cause Strange Two to shift, and she decided to
cuddle with my other side, reaching over me to grab Ones boobs.
So, why are they asleep? Janet asked. You still there?
Um, yeah, I exhausted them, I said. I dont know how a forty something year old
exhausts two twenty something year olds, but they passed out and I could have kept going.
Well, you do have a pretty high PFM rating, Janet said.
PFM?
Pure Fucking Magic, Janet said. Were all on the continuum, of course, but magicians
have higher set points than the average human population. Were right up there next to
vampires.
There are vampires? I asked, biting my lower lip. Strange two put her leg over me.
Youve not fucked a vampire yet? Janet asked.
I didnt know that was an option, I said. Damn, the thought is making me more
aroused.
Are you Janet asked.
Yeah, I said.
Are they awake? Janet asked.
I am not quite sure, I said.
Fucking sleep walkers! Janet said. Damn, youre getting me aroused.

I thought only thoughts of killing get you aroused, I said.

Well, I am curious if men who are asphyxiated really do cum when they die, Janet said,
and she paused, focusing on a potential threat. And there is a certain twenty year old hovering
around me taking pictures with his cellphone. I am about to kill him.
He probably thinks youre dressed like his favorite character from his favorite anime
book, I said. I mean, you are standing right there next to the Loxy display.
Damn, you got good vision, Janet said. Still, I dont want him taking pictures of me
without permission.
If he asked, youd be okay? I asked.
No, Janet said. If he doesnt know how to use the internet to troll for images to jerk
off to, then he needs to die. There are millions of girls on the net that are giving it away for free,
and if I wanted some twenty something year old nerd, or an old fart that never gets a bath, to jerk
off to me, well, I would have profile pic on facebook.
Just a moment, I interrupted her. Fuck! Okay, you were saying? I wonder if the
internal voice I was transmitting sounded strained.
Janet laughed. I will let you go so you can focus, but by god, you better fuck me before
we go back to Safe Haven.
The girls were turning me over so that the spoon train was now reversed. Round two of
the spooning aftermath resumed, their eyes closed. Fuck, I said.
Getting tired? Janet asked.
No, but I am thinking I would be done and asleep, but I dont know if the combination
of hot girls in my bed, or maybe they dosed me, like in that song, baby its cold outside, whats
in this drink, I said.
You really dont understand, do you, Janet said.
You understand this? I asked.
Yeah. Youre a magician, and you have been given a travel pass to Earth, and to
minimize your use of magic, you had a sublimation filter inserted in your aura which dissipates
most of your unintentional magical affects while on Earth, Janet explained. Sublimation was the
concept that some serial killers took up acceptable jobs as surgeons and or butchers in order to
channel their impulse in healthy ways. So, as long as youre on Earth, youre going to feel a
greater pressure to fuck, which will probably keep you from unintentionally blowing out

electrical equipment or transformers, shutting off whole city blocks. Perfect strangers are going
to come up to you and ask you for a fuck and youre going to feel compelled to comply, but
because of your back ground, youre also more likely to just give in and fuck.
Youre dealing with people pressuring you for sex? I asked.
Fuck, Jon, I have been dealing with that since I was ten, due to blooming early, Janet
said. Resisting the fuck for me is going to be easy. Not killing someone, well, thats becoming
increasingly more difficult.
Maybe you shouldnt have come with me, I said.
Are you kidding, we balance each other out here, Janet said.
Try not to kill anyone, I said.
Try not fuck anyone, Janet said.
Fuck, I came, but neither were giving up on theirs. No, transmitting a gasp. Really.
Try not to kill anyone.
No promises, Janet said. Damn it, I cant stay here. Theres a fucking 13 year old kid
sneaking pictures of me with his cell. What the fuck? Is there like a sign on me that says fucking
take my picture, as if this were an up-skirt video?! I swear, if I see a pack of paparazzis hunting
a celebrity, there is going to be some blood on the pavement.
Are you sure you dont want to change your name to Roza Shanina? I asked her.
OMG, Jon, she was so fucking hot, Janet asked. How do you know about her?
I know how to troll the internet for hot women to get my rocks off, and I am not bound
by historical or ideological criteria, and she was fucking hot, I said.
You know what else was hot, the fucking seen with Nicholas Cage where he was back
from hell and having a gun fight simultaneously with uninterrupted intercourse, Janet said.
Maybe you and I could do that scene before we leave earth?
Fuck, that was a hot scene, but I would prefer you go the way of Gross Point Blank and
realize killing is bad, I said.
I love you, Jon, Janet said. Knock another one out for me.
Janet ended the call and my sudden increase in attention to what was going on in bed
gave all three of us a sudden release, with One grinding herself against my lower back, while
Two was fingering herself while grinding against me, and I, well, sandwiched between two
lovers, you do the math. When I woke, they were still asleep, and I slipped out of bed, took a

shower, dressed in my universal outfit, opened the closet door, and pushed through the
threshold using magic to arrive back at my home.

Chapter 11
I arrived just outside my home in Texas, emerging from a carpet that hung from a clothes line, to
discover a cluster of Boho-Gypsy-Hippie tents in the front yard. There were people in the
background feeding chickens. There were some goats corralled in a pin, and one was getting
milked. A fairly tall, thin woman, with reddish blond hair, wearing a simple summer dress that
and no shoes was about to hit the carpet again, but paused to greet me.
Im sorry, I didnt know you were in there, she said.
Um, no worries. Um, this is still the Harister place, right? I asked, lamely enough.
Oh, yeah, are you a fan, too? she asked.
Probably his biggest, I said.
Well, feel free to hang out until he shows up, she said. There is a bean chili and
homemade bread in the kitchen if youre hungry, and its made with unbleached wheat. Most the
ingredients come right from the commune farm. I am Lila, by the way. Forgive me for not
introducing myself earlier.
Nice to meet you, Lila. I am Jon. Are you in charge here? I asked.
Oh, no, no, Lila assured me. That would be Amber Allbritton. Youll probably find
her in the office in the house.
Youre like a groupie? I asked.
Oh, I am definitely a fan of his work, but actually, I was invited into the commune out
of love and kindness, Lila said. You will find that all of us here are fans. Some of us are
practicing Wiccans. Some of us just like the community, the love and the openness and
commune lifestyle organic food. I am here because I like the vision and where Harister is taking
us.
Where is he taking us? I asked.
Ah! To the stars and new worlds, Lila said. I thought you were a fan.
Oh, I am. I know hes been to Safe Haven and all, but I didnt know he was getting
people off, well, I mean getting people off planet, clearly hes getting people off, lots of people
off, but the only one I remember him getting off planet was the astronomer chick.
Kelly, Lila said.
Oh, yeah! I said. And the Cheerleader chick.
Christine, Lila offered.

Ah, of course! How careless of me, I said.

I suspected you have a photographic memory when it comes to faces. You will never
forget a person, but their name tags get lost in the shuffle, Lila said.
That was fairly accurate, but I was getting better with the whole name call as I aged,
because remembering a persons name made more impact on a person than any other gift you
might give them. Lila gently brushed a grasshopper off her leg, lifting her summer dress to
scratch her knee. It was apparent that she didnt own a razor, or she didnt care about shaving her
legs. She was also without makeup. I found it arousing that she could flaunt her natural beauty
against all the social paradigms of attractiveness that were likely inside her. Yes, I had already
forgotten Janets explanation, and the fact I just been in a decent fuck fest. All I knew was I
aroused and it was time to go. I forced myself to breathe.
You seem very intuitive, I said, not leaving.
Oh most of us here are, Lila said. And the only policy we have created here is
complete honesty. You will find that once you belong, youre expected to be direct and open.
I can appreciate that. Hows it working out? I asked.
Pretty good. So, let me practice being direct with you. I really like your aura and I am
aroused and would like to fuck you, Lila said.
Fuck me. Why is it only now at the end of my life that I am getting these offers! Where
was Lila when I was fucking twenty? Um, maybe I should see the boss first?
Oh, Amber isnt in charge of whether I fuck you or not. I am in charge of that. Would
you like to come inside my tent?
Oh, I think I am going to want to come in more than your tent, I said.
Lila laughed and drew me into her tent. It was nicely laid out, simple, and before I could
even compliment her I was on the blow up mattress and she was on top of me. In the aftermath,
she explained only the women could own property, in this case tents. Men could stay as long as
they like, they could sleep in any tent in which they held an open invitation, but the males would
only be visitors, not owners with shares.
Even Mr. Harister? I asked.
Well, he established the world, and so he established the rules, but if you read the text
carefully, each of the women he has been with has acquired property rights, and have taken up
their homes on planet Bliss. Alish is in the Tree House, or First Home. Loxy has 2nd home on the

cliff. Janet has the desert home. Fersia is still kind of bouncing, but mostly she is with Keera and
she has taken up residence at the Light House.
I didnt know that, I said.
I think it will be revealed in the next book, Lila said.
Intuition? I asked.
Maybe, Lila said, yawning. I am sorry, Jon. I am not really into these after fuck
cuddles. I would be extremely interested in continuing to fuck if you can get it up again, but
otherwise, I am going to go do some chores.
Yes, so I fucked her again just to demonstrate I could, got up, got dressed, and went into
my house. There was girl washing dishes while another was taking bread out of the oven. It was
kind of weird seeing people in my kitchen, but they looked as if they belonged, and I wasnt
unhappy that my home was being utilized in my absence. Again, the urge to fuck presented
itself, so I went back to my office. The door was open and Amber was on the phone. She held up
a pen as if to gesture me that she needed a minute.
I dont care about the distinction that youre Disney, not Hollywood, in my mind you
are Hollywood and I am going with the French production team, Amber was saying. Even if
you took out most of the sex or watered it down to a James bond innuendo-ish PG rating, I
dont think Disney should be doing it. Yeah, I know Disney does porn, too. Got it. I like the
French team. No, you wont just be remaking it later. I saw what Hollywood did with La Femme
Nikita, and there was no sense in doing it again. Its time the American population woke up to
the fact there is more than one fucking culture in the world with a camera and watch some damn
foreign films. They are missing out
Fuck, Amber was arousing me. I went over to examine one of the Lego sets already
erected. Even the fucking little Lego people were making me horny. This is just not right. I found
something else to do and reached into a military duffle bags with letters addressed to the author
of my books, which, would be me. It was unopened. There was a box for the letters that had been
answered. I opened one letter. The contents was a letter and photos of a woman who wanted to
be Loxy. Some of the photos were naked. If what I held was a sample of what was to come, I
was going to be jerking off for awhile.
Okay, you want to contribute to this project? Can you secure Alizee to sing our theme
song? Yes, it has to be sung in French, without an English translation. It wont matter if the

Americans wont understand what she is singing. She could be singing about cleaning the toilets
and popping pimples while being on her period and American men will still get off to her voice.
We want a theme song the caliber of the original James Bond songs, with Bond and Harry Potter
undertones, so that people are reminded of both, while simultaneously moved by a new class of
superhero, the Fucking Magician. Hell, you could even wrap the song up with notes that make
me think an original episode of Star Trek is about to begin, not going into the full theme, or
Shatners mission speech, which will have the Trek nerds savoring at the mouth, and then we
fade into the green women a whole bunch of men are going to blow their wad just after the
opening credits, unless we skip opening credits like the Star Wars franchise. I know, Lucas is the
only one that secured the legal right to do that, but thats how I want to lead, unless, we open like
Dead Pool, thats my only exception. Yeah, thought so. Thats why I am going with the French,
and you should see some of the funny ass comments about Disney that are being deliberated over
for our opening Dead Pool like montage. Good day, Sir.
Amber hung the phone, went to the door, closed it, came around the desk and leaned her
butt into it, gripping it with both hands.
Youve been gone a moment, Amber said.
Sorry. You seem to be doing well, though, I said.
Youre not disappointed I basically told Disney to go fuck themselves? Amber asked.
Kind of relieved, because I would just ended up fucking all the princesses at the secret
Disney club which is right next to the Secret Disney Play Boy Mansion ride, and I probably
would have gone for seconds, there, just to ensure the bunnies didnt feel jealousy that the
Princess always get laid, when all they get are the sloppy celebrity want to be left overs, I said.
Amber launched herself off the desk, locked her arms and legs around me and didnt so
much lock her lips to mine, as much as greedily prying them open to suck out my tongue, and I
nearly feel over with her sudden weight, but fortunately I got her butt back to the top of my desk.
She was not wearing underwear and her mini skirt had fully risen to her hip as I fell in between
her thighs.
Wait, wait, wait, I said, breathlessly.
Amber paused. What? Is my breath bad? Am I being too rough?
I just want to check in. You did read the fucking books, right? I asked.

Yeah. Youre fucking shaman-esque, magician whore, Amber said, latching onto me
hard, pushing her tongue along the upper teeth. It wasnt a tease, she was going for main course,
and her hands had dropped to undo my belt.
Wait, wait, wait, I said, trying to slow her down.
What?!
You really want to do this? I asked.
Jon, I was going to fuck you the first time I met you for a whole hell of a lot less than
what you have actually given me, and if you stop this fucking train again, I am going to have my
feelings hurt, Amber said, dropping my pants.
Having always wanted to do this, I swept everything off the desk behind her, laid her
back, grabbed her by the ankles and shoved her knees towards her breast, holding them like the
handlebars to a Harley, pushed in and rode her like the whore I am. This was kind of like a scene
from a casting couch video, minus the whole pretense of trying to trick someone, which probably
means this video wouldnt sell, because part of the whole casting couch was convincing someone
or tricking someone into doing something they dont want to do, even though being there is
tantamount approval, which explains why most give into increasingly intense levels of demands,
but I suspect some of them knew up front, or were paid actresses that convinced us they were
being tricked, because the whole set up is basically a consensual rape and you would expect
there would be legal action otherwise.
Yes, Amber yelled, erasing my mind of casting couch girls and bringing me back to
her. Fucking cum inside me you magical whore you.
I couldnt help but laugh. I came inside her, but I laughed. Finished, she sat up and
hugged me. I rested my head on her shoulder. I was feeling kind of tired. I dont know why. I
had been back on Earth not even six hours and I had already fucked four girls, three of them
more than once.
Oh, God, thank you, Amber said. She kissed me. It was a calmer kiss. I was still inside
her and she was softly grinding, like an afterglow sex. I was so afraid you would end up fucking
a groupie first and not have the energy for me.
Actually, I fucked Lila, I said.
Amber paused and looked at me skeptically. Really? But youre still hard. Hell, you just
came and youre still hard, she said.

Because I am wanting more of you, I said.

You might want to avoid fucking the groupies, because they intend to turn you into
some kind of Guru for a UFO cult, thinking youre going to take them to another planet, and
those sorts of cults dont tend to end well, Amber said.
Oh, but I like Lila, I said.
So do I. I also like cool aid. I wouldnt recommend mixing the two, Amber said.
Seriously, Jon. They think youre a GOD and youre going to open a door and let them go to
planet Bliss. They dont understand that the door is their vagina and your dick is the key and all
the magic you write about is a metaphor that takes you to the bliss and I think youre about to
make me cum again if you keep moving against me like that.
Actually, I am a GOD, in training, I said.
Youre a Guardian of Doors, Amber said.
Yes, I said.
Jon, I permit the groupies to hang around because it adds to the marketing value of your
material by creating atmosphere, that and I like Lila, but if you perpetuate this mythic magical
ability, eventually someone is going to demand a demonstration from you. More than the
demonstration youre giving me now, Amber said.
Okay. You want to go to planet Bliss? I asked.
Wait, wait, wait, Amber said, closing her eyes and leaning into it. Her grip on my
shoulder tightened and then released. Oh, fuck. God, thank you for that. So, what were you
saying?
I think I need to get off Earth for a moment, do you want to go to planet Bliss? I asked.
I am not drinking any cool aid, Amber said.
I was on the verge of cumming again, and went silent, bucking up against her. She pulled
herself tighter to me, squeezing her legs and pulling on my butt to help me. Unable to push past
the threshold, I picked her up and put her on the love seat in my office and drove into her harder.
Still not able to get that next one out, I flipped her over and did her doggy style. She pushed
harder into me, driving my but into the arm of the love seat, while pushing against her side of the
love seat. With her enthusiastic help, I was able to cum again. I disengaged and went for my
pants.
Really? I want to cuddle after all that, Amber said.

That will only lead to more fucking, I said.

Okay, Amber said.
I got to get off Earth for a moment, I said, offering her a hand.
Really? Amber asked, taking my hand.
Are you ready for this? I asked.
For real? Amber asked.
I slid the door open. Amber seemed anxiously excited, her mini skirt having resumed full
down position. I rushed us through the door and we arrived back at Second Home, planet Bliss.
Amber froze in her track. I smiled at her. She was looking back into the kitchen wondering
where the door to my office had gone.
Jon? Amber squeaked.
Yes, I said. Its bigger on the inside.
Amber gave me a queer look that erupted into a smile and she fucked me again, probably
just to prove it is actually bigger on the inside. There is play on words there, somewhere. Do I
really need to explain it?

Chapter 12
OMG, did I ever sleep. Maybe it was due to all the sex, but I think the deepness of my sleep was
due more to being off Earth. I was aware shortly after finishing that Amber got up and got a
shower. I was not aware that she didnt return to bed, as she was too excited to sleep, and went
for a discovery walk, to find the place was exactly as she had read about. She even reached out to
Cortana and got a change of clothes. But I slept. And I dreamed.
You know the set up. Luke is leaning over R2, trying to pry something out of it, and then
he falls and a hologram is projected and he sees the princess for the first time. This is where I
was in my dream. Only it wasnt Leia. It was Loxy.
Help me, Jon. Youre our only hope, Loxy said, touching the R2 unit, and then cycling
back through the message.
Play back the whole message, I said.
R2 gave some whistle of protests or denials. I am not sure which. I am not versed in
Droid. Quite frankly, I dont understand why all Droids arent equipped with at least one
language, other than whistles. Surely they have enough memory capacity. As I stood up, I
realized CP3O was missing, and was kind of glad, because I find him rather annoying overall.
And I never really understand his dialogue, even in the first movie. So, for example, opening
scene, he is walking and conversing with R2 and says There will be no escape for the princess
this time. Doesnt that suggest he knows the princess? But then when Luke asks who the girl is,
he doesnt know, but he speculates enough to say he believes it to be a passenger aboard the ship.
I dont know. Maybe I am just looking for flaws. Which is okay, because, its the flaws that
made me realize I was dreaming, and the dream changed.
I took an open doorway with intentions of returning to Safe Haven. I ended up in a white
space with one door, closed, a window that looked out over a jungle waterfall, and a very large
gorilla.
Terk? I asked.
Good day, Jon, Terk say. Sorry to block you, but all gateways on and off Safe Haven
have been closed due to an emergency situation.
So, the message is real? I asked.
I dont know. You received a message from Safe Haven?

I explained. Terk nodded, understanding, and agreed with me, Loxy was probably trying
to get a message to me via LT. So, is there any way to force an opening there?
It would take a very specific, and potent spell to break through their barriers, and no
magician worth their salt would try to break an emergency quarantine, Terk said. I would
suggest you try going the old fashion way, via a spaceship, but realize you have two levels of
blocks on you. The first layer was put there by Safe Haven, which requires you to accomplish
something, or someone has to die. The second one, that is a darker bind, and I recognize the
signature. Morlon Fribourg.
You know Fribourg? I asked.
Oh, yeah. Most people are content being blocked, its for their own good and they
recognize it, but he has declared war against the GODs, and he has been quite a nuisance. You
might as well learn it now, if someone gets by you and opens a door that wasnt meant for them,
you are responsible for the consequences and the cleanup, Terk said.
Pfft, I complained. If someone goes through a door after being warned, and it turns
out to be a lions den, and he gets eaten, I dont see how thats on me.
Well, if you were put in a charge of a nursery, youre not going to want the toddlers and
children to wander out the front door and get run over, right? Terk said. The physical plain is a
nursery and everyone on the physical plain are children. If one gets through the door and gets
eaten, youre responsible. And we might even give you one, especially if the child is as
determined as Fribourg, but if several wander through the same door because Fribourg told him
it was permissible or possible, well, that isnt going to fly. Youre responsible for your doors and
for verifying those who go through have authority and or maturity.
How will I know? I asked.
You will just know, Terk said.
Thats kind of vague, I said.
Terk shrugged. Think of it this way, Jon. Every door leads to greener pastures, while
simultaneously changing the complexity of your challenges. Its the difference between First
World Problems and Third World problems. First world, is like damn, I told them I didnt want
pickles on my burger. Youll never hear a third world person complaining there was a pickle on
their burger. It would get eaten before a pickled even registered on the taste bud. You just cant
let everyone through, even if it means a third world person gets to have a burger pickle problem,

because he isnt prepared for the next level of complexity. Souls tumble through the Universe
kind of like steel balls in a Pachinko Game, Terk explained, doing the finger gesture that looked
like rain. Like lightening, they all have their own path, and it isnt necessary to know why one
falls one way and the other falls the other, and maybe its just, random shit ass luck, but
eventually, all paths are covered, and when we merge on the other side, were whole again.
Im not sure I want to be in a meaningless Japanese Arcade game, and I am not even
sure how that particular game became so interesting. Id rather watch rain fall, I said.
But youd be okay being in an Anime? Terk asked.
If I get to choose Pikachu, sure. If I get to do the nurse, hell, yeah, I said.
I enjoy our conversations, Jon, Terk said.
I nodded, simultaneously observing a stray thought. Is this a dream? I asked.
Hasnt Jarli Tau already gone over this with you? Terk asked.
Oh, yeah. Thank you for reminding me. So, if youll excuse me, I need to check in with
Loxy, I said, reaching for the door.
Terk blocked with one arm.
You cant go to Safe Haven, Terk said.
No, but JT is already there, I said. I just need a place to access him.
Terk lowered his arm, I pushed through the door, and he patted me on the back as I went
through. I found myself on a bridge leading to a virtual war room. It contained all manner of
computer telemetry and data, with one command chair that could spin, looking out at a screen
that was as if the whole room was one giant IMAX theatre. When you sat down, the bridge
disappeared and the screen came alive, and it was as if I was a Bothan in a command chair
hovering out of a blister to observe the space battles, only it wasnt a space battle. It was a
hospital setting, and I was observing from a first person point of view, only, it wasnt my point
of view. It seemed liked mayhem. I heard Loxys voice issuing orders, but her voice sounded
muffled.
This is what it sounds like inside her head, LT said.
I nearly jumped out of my seat. Damn it, I thought we were beyond the whole sneaking
up behind me thing.
I didnt sneak up behind you. You just became aware, LT said.
I am going to put a damn bell around your neck like Fersia, I said.

Oh, I would so let you collar me, LT said.

I frowned. I didnt have time to pursue that one. Where have you been? I asked.
Busy with the crisis, LT said.
Yeah, tell me about that. Whats going on? I asked.
Wait for it, I think this is it, LT said.
We were in a POV movie or video game, and Loxy was center person. She approached a
gurney and looked down on Nadine. Were you bit? Loxy asked.
No, Nadine said. But I think I broke my hip.
Loxy performed some magic, and multiple screens brightened in front of me, as coded
block fluoresced. It was like looking down on a dynamic nite-bright. I also felt it through my
chair, like rumble speakers.
Wow, I said.
Yeah, when you heal others, youre channeling good bit of energy, LT explained.
OMG, I was aroused again. Fuck, not now, I complained.
LT hugged me. Its a side effect of healing people. You cant channel this energy
through you and push it into someone else without becoming intimately entangled.
Loxy feels this every time she heels someone? I asked.
Times ten, Jon, LT said.
You were found near ground zero, can you tell me what happened? Loxy asked,
drawing me back into the unfolding drama.
I was part of a team that was deconstructing Fribourg Hall, Nadine said. He booby
trapped it. I dont know if it was the explosion or the poison needles, or the floating head
monster with all the tentacles.
Shes not making any sense, Keera said.
Nadine reached up and grabbed Loxy medical coat. We got to get off Safe Haven.
No one is leaving until we contain this, Loxy said.
You dont understand, Nadine said. This is an evil, alien presence. It not just turning
people into mindless zombies, its taking over their bodies as if we are nothing more than remote
controlled vehicles slash incubators.
So this is not a zombie apocalypse scenario? Keera asked.

Its a true zombie apocalypse, Loxy explained. No one seemed to understand, so she
explained. Were not in a Walking Dead episode.
Walking Dead? Keera and Nadine asked.
Sorry, thats a Jon influence. Never mind. Look, traditional zombies were created by a
witch with voodoo and they were controlled by the witch, Loxy said. You kill the witch, all the
zombies go back to being dead. Dead dead, not walking dead.
Youre not going to get anywhere near this thing, Nadine said. It appears to be
immune to magical attacks. And if you get bitten by it or one of the controlled, you just add to its
army. Our only chance of survival is to get off the planet.
An explosion rocked the floor and the lights in the hospital dimmed, flared, and went out.
Emergency lighting came on. Loxy had leaned over Nadine out of reflex, and when she came up
she was insistent on getting Nadine on her feet.
Come on, its going to hurt, but you are healed, walk, Loxy said.
Walk where? Nadine demanded, hysterical.
Stop that! Youre an engineer. This is a simple engineering math formula. Start using
your brain, Loxy said. She actually slapped her. Damn it, another wave of horniness went
through me and I was reminded of that scene on airplane where the passengers were lined up
wanting their turn to beat some sense into the hysterical woman. I was never in that line. I was in
line for the woman who had never been with a man before and was hoping to get in before the
donkey. Keera. Youre good with messages. Send the word, fall back to Harister Hall. Tell
everyone, well hold out there as long as we can. Come on. Lets go. You get all of the injured or
ill to the roof and in air taxis lets go.
Someone was complaining the air taxis can only hold limited people.
Fuck the safety limits, and push people past their comfort zones, Loxy said.
A doctor came up to Loxy. Who put you in charge?!
The fact that you didnt step up? Loxy said. You want to take over?
No, continue. I will see you on the roof, the doctor said, running off.
Dumb ass, Loxy mumbled.
Wow, I said. Ive never heard her say anything like that.
She is stressed, LT said.

We flashed forward to the roof where cars were being filled, which is possible partly
because I was not receiving this in real time, but also because there is no real time. Loxy was on
the roof, looking down as people ran from the infected. The infected were obvious. Their clothes
were gone and they glistened as if covered with sparkling mucus. Someone pointed.
There! he said. I see it.
Loxy looked in the general direction indicated. If it was there, it was being blocked by a
building. The tip of the floating beasts head rose just above the building and then dropped back
below. Tentacles stretched into sight. Glistening females were bringing the struggling male to a
tentacle. It took the male and pulled him up and away. His screaming went silent. I was watching
this, but also had a side flash of a man, a magician of some status, who was not aware of the
nature of the crisis, gladly giving into the impulse to be with three, glistening sirens motioning
him ever closer with their arms, singing their song. He went willingly, allowed himself to be
stripped, and even fucked, but it was a delay tactic to keep him in place until the head beast with
tentacles arrived to eat him. I shook off the vision, having almost become a part of it and focused
on Loxys view.
It only zombifies females? the Doctor asked. I hadnt seen him arrived due to my
fantasy rape scene. It sometimes bothers me I am so easily distracted by my fantasies. Just
lamenting the fact that I indulge nearly caused me to miss the present dialogue, but I stayed in
the game by giving myself compassionate redirection.
Of course, Loxy said. Dont you watch B movies?
Keera came up to Loxy. I want you on this transport. Youre in charge of Harister Hall
in Jons absence.
People were running and screaming below. Magic attacks were levied but seemed to only
slow the infected down. Someones attack caused an explosion to through the building and the
Doctor fell. Keera jumped over the wall and was gone, and then suddenly she was rising, hauling
the Doctor back up. She sat the Doctor down.
Now, Loxy, lets go, Keera said.
Down below, Loxy recognized Thuy. She stumbled, went down, classmates ran over her.
From my chair, I reached out as if to help Thuy, and Loxy mirrored my gesture. Even as Thuy
was trying to get up, she was suddenly encapsulated by a protection bubble, and using a mudra,

Loxy lifted her and brought her up to the building top. The bubble burst and she stepped off onto
the building, a little confused, but then she saw Loxy and hugged her.
OMG, thank you, Thuy said.
Come on, into the transport, Loxy instructed.
As they squeezed onto the transport, Keera asked Loxy, How did you do that?
I didnt, Loxy said. She smiled, and her inner voice said, I love you.
Flash forwards. Harister Halls main entrance had been magically sealed. The only way
in was over the wall. Transports continued to drop people off and went out for more. People
were assigned to help get folks where they needed to be. Loxy was now at the command center,
the invisible dome above Harister Hall, and part of the hall. Loxy was thirteen, of thirteen
females in charge. Lester was there, complaining about being magically impotent thanks to me,
and so he was pretty much ignored. He was cursing my luck for not being here.
Just like him to fucking avoid any consequences of his shit, Lester said.
How is this is fault? Fersia demanded.
If it werent for him, Fribourg would still be secretly in charge of Safe Haven, and we
wouldnt have this, whatever this is, going on! Lester snapped.
Theyre here! Alish said.
An army of naked, glistening, mucus covered females approached, pouring though the
Penetrable Forest. The floating monster head could be discerned in the background, just barely
above the trees. Trees were flying, ripped from the ground by tentacles and flung.
Oh! Alish cried. Is no one safe?!
No! Lester said. I dont know what the hell you were thinking, bring us all back here!
There are unaffected out there, Keera said.
Its just women, Lester said.
Everyone looked at him.
What? I am observing the fact there are no men remaining, Lester said, walking closer
to the edge so get a better view. They probably cant resist the glistening girls and simply
succumb to being eaten. Theyre like evil sirens, calling to us. He touched the glass. Theyre
disgusting and sexual all at the same time. He put the tip of his cane against the wall and
pushed, till his hand moved down the length of the cane. He seemed mesmerized. He recovered,
realizing what he was doing. If I live through this, I am fucking going to kill Jon!

Open the gate, Loxy instructed.

Are you mad? Lester demanded?
British Angry? Yes. Crazy, no, Loxy said.
Theyre lost! Let them be, Lester said.
Alish didnt wait to be instructed to open the gate a second time. The tunnel was opened,
and the wall rotated to point the entrance towards the approaching group of survivors.
What if one of them is already bitten? Lester asked.
Then I guess youre going to get laid, for real this time, Loxy said.
Fersia laughed. Sorry, Fersia said. I guess I will live to see the day you get fucked.
Just as the great beast was about to emerge from the forest, I woke up.
Damn it, I said. I tried to close my eyes and go back, but I was up, up, and suddenly
Amber was beside me.
Are you awake?! OMG, Jon, this place is amazing, Amber said. Come on. Get up, I
want to go somewhere. I want to see something! Come on?
I opened my eyes. She was glowing like a kid on Christmas, and was wearing something
Loxy-ish. She beamed at me.
You were dreaming, Amber said brazenly.
Uh? I asked.
Her hand went to the bulge on the blanket. Ive only been gone an hour and you missed
me? Her hands found their way under the blanket, and once they made contact, any chance of a
protest was gone. She ducked her head the covers.
Um, okay, I surrendered.
Waking up to a blow job, and sixty nine, followed by her cowgirl session, is really a nice
way to wake up in general. My urgency about the emergency at Safe Haven had faded to the
background of my mind, as most dreams do, as I focused on the reality at hand. And it was a
great reality. We went to the shower, together, played some more, actually cleaned up, and then
dressed.
I want to see something. Anything. Please, please, please, Amber said. Can we go into
space? I have always wanted to go into space. No, specifically. I want to go to the moon! You
have moon house, if I recall correctly.
Sure, I said. Cortana, can we take a skycar to the moon?

Cortana came to life in the mirror. Sure. It would be fairly uncomfortable, as its top
speed would have you arriving in about three weeks. Perhaps you would like to take one of your
spaceships?
I have spaceships? I asked.
You dont remember you have a collection? Cortana asked.
I am guess I am still playing catch up, I said.
Amber was jumping. Lets go. Come on. Before I want to fuck you again.
So, I took her hand, I rushed us towards the exit, and we arrived at my underground
hangar. I was too busy being amazingly shocked by the artifacts in my collection that it barely
registered how tight Amber was holding my hand. There were a dozen or so personal spacecraft
arranged throughout the hangar. Imagine a movie or television show spaceship, and here it was.
As we approached the nearest, a Colonial Viper, I was like, yeah, lets do this.
No, Amber said, as if reading my mind. Too small. I expecting to get laid in space and
on the moon, so think bigger.
Her comment changed the way I was planning our trip, and so, I crossed off the X-wing,
the tie-fighter, the Thunderfighter from Buck Rogers, and the fighter from the 60s series,
U.F.O. which had me thinking about girls in purple hair. Amber stopped at a classic, saucer
shaped UFO.
This one? she asked.
The Jupiter Two has some navigational issues that need ironing out, I said.
Her face brightened as she pointed to the Millennium Falcon. That one?!
That piece of junk? I am not taking that anywhere without Wookie mechanic, and some
droids, I said. I pointed to the Firefly. How about that one.
I want something with more staying power than one season, Amber said.
Nice jab, I said. Fair enough.
We both paused at a 1950s police box. We looked at each other.
I am a bit weary, I said.
I would love to play a companion. Do you have a scarf? Amber asked.
Oh, I am so not that one, I said. But consider for a moment. No matter where that ship
goes, ultimately it finds trouble. And the trouble always seems to end up with the Doctor and

companion running, which is usually a plot contrivance to prevent the building of sexual tension
into becoming actual sex.
Good point. I am wanting sex in space, Amber said, pulling me to the next one.
We stood before an Eagle, from Space 1999. There were two, one with a full cargo crew
container, and one with just the flight head and rockets. We both move to the next one. An
imperial shuttle was tempting, but we moved on. We came to a lineup of Star Trek shuttles, from
various episodes, to series, to movies. She and I agreed on a shuttle from the Next Generation.
As we took our place at the helm, the door closing behind us, she asked You know how
to fly this?
I can fly everything here, I assured her.
I am going to want a photo op with all the ships and with you, and maybe a montage
from all our adventures, real and contrived just for the sake of the photo op, Amber said.
That could take years, I said, feigning protest.
Years of sexual adventures and pics with ships? Amber asked, putting one leg up on
the console.
I found myself wanting her again. Now? I asked.
Put me in orbit, then now, Amber said.
With Cortanas help, the shuttle was shifted to the lift platform, and taken up through a
ceiling hatch, and on to the tarmac. I took us into space. You would think, as young as my planet
is, there would be no space stations or spaceships in orbit, but we encountered one right off the
bat. I recognized it immediately as the Valley Forge, from the movie Silent Running. It had
all the tree domes still intact! I was going to suggest docking with it, when Amber pounced. The
fucking commenced. She interrupted the session to ask for a sleeping bag. We found one in the
emergency storage compartment, and zipped ourselves into it, and continued where I left off.
Wait, Amber said. Clothes full off.
We both undressed inside the sleeping bag and tossed our clothes out. It was kind of fun,
and no way to hide the fact I was aroused and ready, and no way to hide she was wet and ready. I
started biting her neck.
Wait, Amber said.
What? I asked.

Patient, Amber said. Slow down. I have one more request. Dim the lights, and turn off
the artificial gravity.
The request for the sleeping bag was now glaringly obvious.
Cortana, I said. I didnt even have to finish the directive. It was almost as if this scene
had played itself out before.
Amber rocked my world. Next stop, the moon. We dressed, but left the sleeping bag out,
because it was going to have to be cleaned before it went back in the storage space. I proceeded
to take us out of orbit, on a path that was to take us past several larger spacecraft, in parking
orbits for me to use or visit at my convenience.
Is that the moon over there? Amber asked.
I looked up at the small point of light she was referring to. Thats not a moon.
It looks like a small moon, Amber said.
I looked back at it. I was still convinced. And then it hit me. Thats no moon. Its a
space station.
Amber stared closely. Come on, I thought. You can do it.
Its too big to be a space station, Amber protested.
Yes! I love you. I should turn us around, I said.
Are you kidding? Amber asked. Take us closer.
Not really how the dialogue goes, but, yeah, we went there. No really, we went there, and
it was really there, just like I suddenly remember it being there, and we landed on the deck of
one of the many hangars at the equator, and got out to a formation of Storm Troopers standing at
attention.
Okay, thats a bit creepy, Amber said. They just stand there like that waiting for you
to return?
Oh, theyre not real people, I assured her. Just suits, for photo ops and to impress
guests.
Oh, okay, Amber said, walking to them.
The all saluted in as one and Amber was nearly in my arms from fright.
What the fuck? Amber said. I thought you said
I showed her how I did the trick. Honest, theyre just puppets.
And youre the emperor? Amber asked, skeptically.

Can the emperor do this? I asked.

I placed Amber near the shuttle, walked over to stand in front of the troopers, and then I
started to sing: youre just too good to be true and then cued the music and performed the
whole song by the Four Seasons with dancing troopers supporting me. The song ended with
Amber in my arms. Theres nothing funnier than dancing trooper gyrating and twerking. Just ask
Family Guy.
I want you to fuck me in the detainment center, Amber said.
Done. Tell me the truth. If you had access to a Death Star, real or not, and the girl youre
with wants to be held captive and tortured for the stolen plans, what would you do? And we were
really into it. Tell me where the plans are! Screw you. Okay, lets do this again. Oh
Daddy! Which is really funny, cause not only am I old enough to be her father, but if I am
Vader and shes Leia, well, do I have to spell that out? And can you honestly tell me that on a
space station with bunch of evil men that blow up planets and slaughter children, that the only
woman on board didnt get fucked? You think torture Droids and truth serum was the only thing
pumped into her? Not only did I have Amber tied and hanging from the ceiling in a very
vulnerable position, she was even in on a little Force choking. Did you see that coming? Amber
is a freak, and between her squirming and me pushing on the ropes to swing her up and down my
shaft, I was so going for multiple orgasms here. The only thing lacking were Droids with dildo
appendages and a tongue saw. I was right on the edge of a second orgasm when the door slid
open. That alone nearly ended my session. No one else was supposed to be on my space station. I
calmed just a little when I realized it was Janet.
Really, Jon?! Janet asked from the doorway. She was leaned against the threshold,
casually, arms crossed, but seemed really cross. She was wearing an Armani suit dress.
I took off my Vader mask.
Hello, Janet, Amber said.
Janet stared crossly at her. How do you know who I am?
Youre not the actress that plays Janet? Amber asked.
I saw the actress that plays me. She looks nothing like me, Janet said. But lets start
this over. Really, Jon?!
I am Luke Skywalker and I was here to rescue her? I asked.
Some rescue, Janet said.

I grew up on an evaporator farm with the only woman being my Aunt? I asked.
What about those twin brunettes in the Cantina bar? Janet asked.
They got what? A whole three seconds of screen time? I asked. It wasnt until VCRs
came out that I could freeze the scene long enough to get one off.
Really, Jon? Amber asked.
Youre surprised? I asked.
About this? No. I am surprised you left Earth without telling me. All hell is breaking
lose down there, Janet said.
What do you mean? I asked.
Fribourg Just pushed a tsunami against Hawaii, and sent you a calling card reminding
you of your obligation, Janet said. And without you on Earth to temper me, my urges to kill
folks has gone through the roof.
Oh, I said. Well, I had to get off Earth, my urges were fucking insane.
So you got off Earth, to get off more? Janet asked. And by the way, why have you
been holding off on me? You know I love death and destruction and you have a fucking Death
Star in your arsenal?
I forgot? I asked.
You and I are returning to Earth and were going to get this damn mission over, even if I
have to hold your hand throughout the rest of your stay there, Janet said. And then we are
coming back here and we are taking this thing for a spin.
I thought about it. Can I finish here first?
Go ahead, Janet sighed, pulling out a finger nail file, feigning disinterest. She mumbled
something, There better be some rope play in my future. Thats all I am saying.
I finished. It was a little difficult, as the interruption pushed my O back to the beginning
of the cycle, but Amber helped by returning to her dialogue. No, Daddy, no. Then I cut her
down, massaged a cramp out of her leg, and then she got dressed. I just took the control vest off.
I pushed past Janet pushing my cape behind me.
Never takes you this long with me, Janet said as I past.
If youre in a hurry, you should have helped, I said, as I proceeded down the hall.
Amber followed me, smiling up at her.
What? Janet asked.

Its just really nice to meet you, Janet, Amber said.

My name is Bond, Jane Bond, Janet corrected. Now lets go.
They emerged to follow me and found me waiting for them. Do we have time to go
down the garbage shoot and have a threesome?
No, Janet said, her voice not masking Ambers Yes.
I want to get my bag, I said.
Where is it? Janet.
The shuttle, I said.
We returned to the hangar, where the first thing I noticed was a scattering of Storm
Trooper body parts. I turned crossly to Janet. What the hell?
I thought they were real, Janet said.
They were just mechanisms, not even full Droid status! I complained.
The next thing I noticed, was the last Trooper, hiding behind some crates. He stuck his
head out to see if it was safe, but held firmly to the crate.
Come here, I said, waving to him like I would a puppy.
The trooper shook its head no.
Come here, I said more firmly. Bad Jane here isnt going to hurt you.
The trooper shook its head.
Dont make me use the Force on you, I snapped.
The trooper approached, sullenly, like a child. Then I saw the ship that Janet had brought
over. It was an RV with wings and rockets.
You flew in that thing? I asked.
It was the only thing I felt comfortable driving, Janet said.
I collected my bag from the shuttle. Are we taking my Trooper?
The one that runs from a fight? Janet asked.
Youre really intimidating, I pointed out. The cape and the bag just didnt go well, and
it was a fight to get the bag on without messing up the cape, and I slung the bag and started
pulling the cape through, and Amber and Janet helped to get me back in shape.
Between me being a tossup between the Man in Black from Princess Bride and Vader
minus a few suit tweaks, the Trooper, Janets deadly Armani business dress, and Ambers
playboy bunny shuttle Trek dress, we were likely to appear as having just left a Cosplay event.

Should we change into something a little less conspicuous? Amber asked.

It doesnt matter how we dress, were going to draw attention, Janet said.
Not true. The more outrageous we dress, the less noticeable we will be because people
cant stand direct and will look away, I said.
Where did you get that lame idea from? Janet asked.
Did you ever see the gorilla walking the street? I asked.
What gorilla? Janet asked.
Thats my point, I said.
I took Ambers hand. Janet took Ambers free hand. I looked to the Trooper. I dont
know how a Trooper can look so pathetic, but he did.
Get your weapon, I told it.
It picked a gun from the floor and then took my hand.
Which way? Janet asked. The airlock over there, or
I ran us towards the pit. Amber had second thoughts, but Janet laughed and pulled her
along and we jumped. We landed outside the hospital at Scot and White Baylor, no worse for the
wear. No one seemed to notice that we came out of nowhere. I frowned at the hospital.
You want us to go up with you? Amber asked.
No, I said. This is a door I need to go through on my own.
Were not baby-sitting the Trooper, Janet said.
I sighed. Come on, Troop, I said.
Make sure its blaster is set for stun, Amber said.
Trooper and I entered the hospital.
Want to join me in New York? Janet asked.
Sure, Amber said, taking Janets hand.
They proceeded through the same door I had, only they went elsewhere.

Chapter 13
I entered my moms room, leaving Trooper outside. He stood at attention and if anyone came
close, he just stood at a attention. Inside my mother was fussing at a nurse, who was finishing
changing a bedpan. Not a sight you really want to walk into in any circumstances, but this is
humanity, and there is no dignity in death. Its like pooping your pants. Everyone will eventually
have an accident, but God forbid, there is very little compassion for the person who experiences
it in public. Sometimes it will escalate into cruel jokes, which may be an effort to diminish the
social anxiety, but it only makes it worse for the person who had the accident. The curtain had
probably not been drawn because no one ever walks into this room short of medical staff.
Sir, if you will wait outside, the nurse began.
Fuck you, make him clean my ass, mom said. Youve seen it before, son. Tell her how
you use to lick it for mommy.
I closed my eyes and channeled peace. I dont recall that ever happening, I said.
Fucking homo, mom said. You will suck on cock but not a clit? I had to fight him just
to get him to latch on to my breasts.
Why the fuck did I volunteer for this? Why didnt I stick to my guns and just refuse.
Nurses dont usually blush. This one did.
Fuck, youre done down there, get the fuck out of my room, Mom yelled at the nurse.
And bring me more pain meds. I have a sudden headache. Mom clicked on the morphine
pump, but she had already clicked past her maximum.
Ill ask the doctor if he can up her meds, the nurse said as she past me.
Dont fucking talk to him like hes in charge all of sudden, mom said. Why are you
here? Come to gloat and watch me die? You turned off my morphine, didnt you?!
What do you say to that? What do you say to someone who is dying and theres nothing
one can do. Does it change the equation when the person is your enemy? I tried to understand
and appreciate that her wounds went deeper and further than this thing that was killing her. Were
you aware that there is strong evidence that PTSD can be passed genetically? So, if youre
grandparents had a trauma, the parents inherited some of the trauma, and so did you, which bring
a whole new level of meaning to sins being visited on seven generations.
I heard you won the lottery, mom continued. I called you! You could buy me a new
liver.

Mom, you abuse drugs and alcohol, I said. There is no way you will ever be on the
transplant list.
Im not asking for a donation. You go down to the black market and buy me one, and
you pay a Doctor to the surgery off the books, mom said.
You do know, buying black market organs usually means someone was murdered for
the organ? I asked.
Its what good kids do for their mothers, mom said.
I pulled up a chair and sat down. I brought my hands together, elbows on the arms of the
chair.
Oh, here it comes, mom said. Youre finally got me helped captive, and youre going
to list all the grievances you have had over your life time. Oh, how I abused you. How I
neglected you. You were fucking lucky you werent living out under the porch with the dogs. If
my brothers knew how gay you were, you would be hanging from a tree.
Mom continued to rant. I listened. This is not BDSM or masochism. I suffered quietly,
only because I saw no point in any kind of engagement. I wasnt going to change her. I wasnt
going to get a last minute, overdue moment of nurture. This is not a Hollywood ending where
someone finally realizes there is something more and holds regrets. Some people just dont
recover from their mental wounds. This requires a supernatural intervention.
Well, I have news for you, pansy, mom said. Your father wasnt your father. Thats
right. You were conceived in a drunken rape and the had coat hanger trick hadnt failed, you
wouldnt be here.
I already knew I wasnt the child of the man who was with her, but something unlocked
as she was speaking. I had a flash back. It wasnt mine, it was hers. I was suddenly at the bar
where it had all happened. She walked in, high heels, miniskirts, looking for a military man. She
accepted any and all drinks and before too long was settled in with a particular guy in a back
room. He whispered all sorts of things, to her, like, he was about to go to Vietnam and was likely
not to make it. Mom said shed hook up with him, if he drove her to Vegas and married her, and
she would rock his world, but was thinking, she would end up with Veteran benefits. He had
other plans. He dragged her to a pool table and had his friends help him rape her. He and his
friends took turns. No one in the bar answered her cries. And when the military guys finished,
the bikers had their turn with her, on the same table. Oddly enough, some of the women help

hold her down. No charges would be drawn. She had been down this road before and no one
would believe her because alcohol had been involved. That, and she had accused her father of
molesting her, and he had been the prominent preacher in a small town and no one believed her,
even years later when a number of women and children of the congregation reported they had
been abused.
I had to shake myself out of it, because the rabbit hole I had just entered was deep, dark,
and held many incestuous turns.
Turns out he was already married, the bastard, and you look just like him, just like his
other kids, mom continued. You dont believe me? Go see for yourself! Go find Billy Jack
Austin and tell me you arent his son.
I nearly came out of the chair. My brain tracked where I had heard the name before.
James Butler. More pathways opened up. I was on the field where James and Billy Jack had
raped the Vietnamese woman. I flashed forwards, seeing the child that was born. I flashed
forwards, discovering that child was Thuy! OMG, Thuy was my half-sister! I nearly raged. I
nearly came out of my seat and killed my mother. But this wasnt her fault. Yeah, I would have
been better off dead from the coat hanger, but this wasnt her fault. My promiscuousness could
certainly be blamed on my childhood, but I was an adult and had to own responsibility for it
now. If I wasnt a fucking whore, I wouldnt have slept with my half-sister. Then again, had I
known my biological father was a fucking serial rapist, maybe I would have asked for DNA
check before sleeping with Thuy. No, I wouldnt. What were the odds that I would encounter a
sibling at Safe Haven? Then again, Thuy and I shared world paths and experiences. We were
created with drama and trauma and this was us, and unlike the childhood abuse I got from mom
and my brothers, Thuy and I chose to hook up. Yeah, society would condemn it, us, but on the
whole, our interaction was completely natural. From this point forwards, what we did with the
information would be different. And the truth is, that horse is already out of the barn, and if she
wanted to continue where we left off, I am not likely to turn it down. She may be crazy as fuck,
but she was a good fuck, and really, she was a great person, who, like everyone else, just wants
to be loved and to love.
Fuck me, I thought. I am just as sick as my family. Where was LT? I was desperate for
love and affection. I wanted to run away. I wanted to die.

I forced myself to breathe. I endured. I didnt care that tears rolled down my face or that
my mom saw that I was crying and she escalated her disparagements against me. I chose not to
fight or flight, which was probably the hardest thing I ever did, and it took a great deal of magic
to do so. Mom finally tired and got a dose of morphine and slept. I remained. I even slept. I
dreamt. I dreamt mom was in pain and wanted relief and the drugs werent doing it. I called
Janet.
Can you get me a harp? I asked.
Wow, what timing, Janet said. I am at a party with Amber and there just happens to be
a harp and a harpist. Do you want them both?
Please, I said.
The harp rolled into the room, pushed by Janet and Amber. They went back for the
harpist. Apparently, it was taking time to convince the harpist, so I started playing. My mom
quieted down, even opened her eyes.
When did you learn to play? she asked.
I am a musical prodigy, I informed her. I can play any instrument, with minimal
practice.
Even the skin flute, mom said.
Janet, Amber, and the harpist heard the comment. The harpist took over.
They look pretty good for cross dressers, mom said.
Theyre real women, I said. Want to see how gay I am?
I pushed Janet to the bed and fucked her. Amber hopped on the bed and allowed Janet to
eat her as I pumped her from behind.
That just proves your bi, my mom said, not fazed by the fact her son was engaged in a
threesome on top of her death bed.
And I woke up right before I came. The nurse handed me a coffee. It was clear I was
going to have to leave before I did end up having sex with one of the nurses.
Thank you, I said.
Its nice what youre doing for her, the nurse said.
Ive not done anything for her, I said. I am just here.

Thats more than many have, but youre paying for all of this, the nurse said. I met
your secretary and she authorizes us to spare no costs at keeping her comfortable and has given
us bonuses for having to deal with her.
Amber? I asked.
I think that was her name, the nurse said.
I am not going to tell you the nurses name. I didnt fuck her. Would I? Absolutely. Even
on my mothers death bed. But we didnt. It was actually a normal exchange of kindness. You
always hear about the nice patients, but there are some truly difficult patients, and this nurse was
neither judging, nor fighting back. She did her job. That was kindness. That was pure fucking
magic. The coffee and cream, that was just extra, but she looked at me with eyes that said she
knew more about me and my situation than even I understood myself. She touched my arm and
departed. Then I wondered, did she really think I was gay and thats why she could show me that
level of affection? The next shift nurse was less tolerant of my moms nonsense and drew
boundaries, which my mother actually accepted. In contrast, she seemed a little nicer to this
second shift nurse. Second shift nurse was also black, which amazed me further because my
mom and her generation were just over the top racist. For moment, I thought I had woken up in
the wrong universe.
Would you make him get out of my room?
Hes your son, the second shift said.
I dont want his fucking gay ass here, mom said.
Then you tell him, cause I am not messenger bird, second shift said, her British accent
shining through. She left the room, not even looking at me.
Get out! I dont want you here, mom said. You have never been on my side. You
never did anything to make my life better. Get out! I dont need your pity.
I stood up, pushed the chair back against the wall, and faced her. I suspected this would
be the last time I saw her alive.
Has any of the family been here? I asked.
Get out!
Is that it? No one wants to be here for her, and the one she despises shows up which gives
her more reason to hate me and herself, demanding that she push me away because she cant
accept any kindness. Her life was so hard, from the start, that all kindness is perceived as a

weakness, perhaps even immoral, which might explain why she associates my innate need to be
quiet, as not liking sports, as gayness. Her eyes were like fire. I nodded.
On exiting the room, Trooper took up pace directly behind me. I heard the Vader march
in my head, and I decided on a new mission. I was going to find Billy Jack Austin and fucking
kill him.

Chapter 14
Trooper and I stormed through a party to collect Janet. Amber was with her, dressed in an
elegant afternoon party dress, hanging on Janets arm as they smoozed with elite as if spies on a
mission. The guest were clearly perturbed by my entrance, and the men hovering around Janet
and Amber were clearly upset that come in and command them away as if I were a pimp herding
my own. The fact that they followed my subtle request without even a polite engagement
irritated them even further and they were probably wondering what I have that they dont, as
opposed to just realizing, they never had a chance, they were just being kind.
I need you, I said, not even pausing.
Janet finished her martini, smiled at the boys, and led Amber away. The four of us hit a
patio archways and were gone from the party, arriving just outside a private biker bar.
Are we going to kill someone? Janet asked.
I am pretty sure this is the place from my vision, I said, as if not hearing her. Shields
up, red alert, stay with me.
You got it, boss, Janet said.
We took several steps towards the door and I had to stop. I turned to the Trooper who
was riding my heels. Hey, off my heels, and follow me.
He shook his head and it wobbled like a bobble.
Youre wearing armor, and you have a blaster, relax, I said.
We resumed our march up to the front door where three very large men wearing jeans,
beer belly bulging t-shirts, vests with patches on them, and multiple tattoos on muscles waited.
They had been leaning on the wall, but stood forwards, crossing their arms, menacingly, ignoring
me but appraising my company. I am not going to give you their names. Suffice it to say, I
labeled them tweedle dee, tweedle dum, and tweedle doo.
The middle one, T-Dum, pointed at me. You and your little trooper friend can take a
hike. You two can stay.
These arent the women youre looking for, I said. Step aside and let us pass.
TDum looked to his friends, they laughed, and then back to me. Get the fuck out of
here, before I kill you.
Please let me kill them, Janet said.
No, we can figure this out. Were all adults here, I said.

TDum stepped closer to Janet. I am going to fuck you right here on the porch in front of
your friends, he said, taking out his knife.
I doubt that, Janet said. Hes a magician. I am an assassin. He wants to go inside, and
it is in your best interest to step aside.
Her breast look really tight in that suit, you should open it up, TDoo said.
TDum inserted the knife into her suit, intending to severe the top button to expose
Janets breast.
If you break my Armani suit, I will kill you with that very knife, him with the button,
and him with my heel, Janet said.
TDum smiled, pulling up on the knife. His smile faded slightly as he put more focus and
effort on cutting through the suit. TDee was drooling, his mouth opened as he anticipated
exposed breast, Janets cleavage and the gleaming of knife blade making it more tantalizing.
Damn, TDee said. Maybe I should get Armani suit.
TDum jerked his arm trying to force the knife through the button. The button popped
off, flew right into TDees mouth, causing his hands to go up instantly to his throat. Janet used
her hands and the TDums momentum from jerking so hard on the knife that he practically
killed himself, as she directed the knife up into his skull. Simultaneously with the knife
penetrating TDum, she kicked TDoo in the chest, breaking the heel off in his heart. TDoo fell
dead, TDum didnt die so fast, and Janet smiled flirtatiously with him, before letting him drop.
TDee stopped his struggles and was gone, but if I had cared enough, I could probably take the
button out the button lodged in his throat and resuscitated him, but fuck him. He was warned.
Janet turned to me. Are you mad?
You did warn them, I said.
So no lecture? Janet asked.
Youre an adult, Janet, I said. So are they. They knew the game.
Thank you, Janet said. She nodded behind me.
I turned to see nothing behind me. Then I saw the Trooper hiding from behind the tree,
playing peek-a-boo.
Come here, I said.
Trooper shook his head.

One, I said. He shook his head. Two. I said. It just stared. At three, I am going to
use the Force.
Trooper rejoined us, sullenly, dragging his feet.
Really, Jon? Janet asked.
Oh, hes just scared, Amber said.
He is a Trooper, Janet said.
They get killed pretty easily, though, Amber said.
Youre not afraid, Janet observed.
I am with you and Jon, I feel safer than I have ever felt in my entire life, Amber said.
OMG, I said. Amber, you should be more afraid.
You fucked me. I am safe, Amber said.
Oh, if only it worked that way, Janet said, she removed her shoes and decided to go
barefoot.
Come with me, I said.
I led the way into the establishment. A hundred weapons came to bear on us, from both
women and men, all bikers. Even the bar tender was packing and carrying. And the television
monitor on the bar explained their warning. The door shut behind us and suddenly the Trooper
was trying to open the door. An older man stepped forwards.
You kill my people and barge in uninvited, he said. I am going to kill you, Sir, and
your girlfriends, but I am going to let you watch me fuck them and then run a train on them
before I cut their necks and let them bleed out on the bar.
My name is Jon Harister, I said. And how are you?
Shoot the Trooper, the man said.
A hundred guns clicked. Nothing. A hundred misfires. My hand was up, holding a mudra
I didnt recognize.
Heres whats going to happen, I said. All of you are going to put down your
weapons. I am going to fuck all of your women in front of you. Except her. Shes ugly. I would
still do her on principle, but only if she shaves first. And then, you, Sir, are going to tell me what
I came to learn and then my friends and I will be leaving.
Kill him! the man said.

I brought my hands together and everyone, but the man in charge, fell to the floor,
unconscious. Trooper was rattling the door trying to get it open. I snapped my fingers and he
went to attention.
Damn it, Jon, Janet said. I was looking forward to my first bar fight.
I dont have time for it, I said.
Yeah, but youre going to make time to fuck the women, right? Couldnt I have had the
bar fight while you were fucking the women? Janet asked.
I am not going to fuck their women, I said.
You said you were going to fuck them, Janet said. You have to.
Theyre unconscious! I said.
So? Do you think they were going to give me and Amber an opportunity to be
unconscious? Janet asked. The man was about to run away but Janet brought a gun to bear on
him. I wasnt sure where she had got the gun. Had it been concealed, or did she take from one of
the bikers who had fallen? Damn, I would have to replay it in slow motion later. Whats your
name, Sir?
I am not telling you nothing, he said. Even now, the rest of my gang are on their way.
No, theyre not, I said. Youre going to find out tomorrow that one of your houses was
raided by law enforcement, seizing drugs and other assets and taking all of your men into
custody. Your other backup house, well, a rival gang is now redistributing your assets there. The
other house, well, the bikers are caught in a traffic jam because a train stopped on the tracks. So,
I could quite easily, and at my leisure, start fucking your women here, and by the time I am done,
Jane Bond here will probably have beaten you to an inch of your life. I think I will start with the
two blonds over there. Theyre your slaves, right?
Touch them and you die, he said.
I stepped up to him. Tell me how to find Billy Jack Austin, I said.
The man swallowed. You might as well kill me now.
I sighed. Using the Magic, I caused the two blonds to get up. They rose in a manner that
wasnt quite human, as if they were possessed. I motioned and they came closer, not quite
zombies, but clearly mesmerized and obedient. With magic I lifted them into the air and then I
took time to position them into vulnerable, and provocative postures, one face up, the other face
down as if she was tied over a barrel.

Youre the devil, arent you, the man said.

And I want my dues, I said, playing the devil. I mean, if he was going to assume I was
the devil, why discourage him. Oh, damn, I should have dressed like Michael when he became
the devil in the episode Friendly Fire. That would have been funny.
He will kill me! the man said.
And where do you go when you die and you owe the devil? I asked.
Fuck me, the man said.
Trooper, I said, calling him forwards.
Theres no way to find him. He finds you. He doesnt even have a cellphone. He shows
up when he wants, collects whatever he wants, and then disappears, the man said, clearly
trembling.
Hes a magician? Amber asked.
Janet and I exchanged glances. Do you have a photo of him? I asked.
Oh, no, no, photos are forbidden, the man said.
Everyone has a photo somewhere, I said.
You dont have any photos at your house, Amber said.
Yeah, but thats just me, but if you go to my family, youre going to find a photo
somewhere, in an album, I said. Oh. Maybe we should try that. Lets go.
You didnt fuck the women, Janet said. You know what happens when you make
promises and dont keep them, right?
I counted the women. Cant I just fuck you 16 times tonight?
Sure, but it wont relieve you of this debt, Janet said.
Can we just rob the place? I asked.
Janet pointed to an office. Ill go break open the safe, she said.
Meanwhile, I had Trooper looting the victims, taking their wallets and jewelry. Trooper
was weary at first, but gained confidence over time. Janet returned with the contents of the safe
and then did a cursory glance at the Troopers bag, did some math, and shook her head.
Youre still going to have to fuck at least two of them, Janet said.
Does it count if Trooper fucks him for me? I asked.
I dont think so, Janet said.
Our first fuck was proxy for Lester, I pointed out.

True, Janet said. Lets find out.

Wait, Amber said. What happens if doesnt count?
It just means Jon will probably have to fuck one of them later, or bad things will start to
happen, like spells erupting spontaneously, Janet said. Not really sure. At Safe Haven, were
protected from some of the backlash. Here on Earth? Janet shook her head.
I motioned Trooper to fuck the man up. The man protested, but was easily bent over the
bar. It wasnt sexy. It was kind of boring. And I was tempted to do the blonds, I really was, but I
just wanted to get this over with and go home. We were a few minutes into it when I realize
Trooper was mechanical, and would continue until I told him to quit.
Are you two hungry? I asked.
Yeah, kind of, Janet said.
I am famished, Amber said.
We should go get something to eat and come back, I said. You okay with that,
Trooper?
Trooper gave me the thumbs up.
We should take the blonds with us, Janet said.
Youre really pushing the whole rape thing here, I said.
I find it arousing. Watching you and tied up Amber, that was really hot, Janet said.
Sorry.
Dont apologize. We like what we like. They wouldnt put rape scenes in movies if a
segment of society didnt get off to that, I said. Yeah. Never mind the biker boss in crying like a
baby in the background. Ill compromise.
I put the two blonds on their feet and woke them up. They were more angry than scared.
But then again, they were biker chicks and probably initiated into the gang by being raped and
coerced. They ignored the fact their man was being probed by a Trooper.
Look, heres the deal, I have to fuck someone, I would prefer a volunteer, I said. You
can stay here in this life of crime, or come with me.
The two of them looked at each other and backed to me. Youre giving us a choice?
He could have done it while you were unconscious, Janet pointed out.
Will you dress us like her if we go with you? one of them asked.
Sure, I said.

So, we went to lunch, the five us. The two blonds were surprised that we actually went to
some place classier than a strip club. They were actually quite confused by the whole thing, and
they looked as out of place as the Blues Brothers in a classy restaurant.

Chapter 15
It was a semi private table, but no one seemed to mind that one of the biker blonds was sitting in
my lap. She was more than sitting on my lap and if anyone was paying attention, what we were
doing would have been painfully obvious. Janet and Amber conversed with each other over the
meal as if it werent happening. Even the biker blond that was slowly grinding me was eating a
meal. Her friend was beside me, one hand moving the spoon through her soup, the other hand
pushing between my exposed thigh and her friends butt. If youre wondering how the fuck
session started, other than my usual over the top libido urging me to push boundaries, well, it
started with a truth or dare session. Janet dared me to fuck her in public. I pointed out that this
was a classy restaurant. Amber put money on the table that no one would notice. The biker
chicks said No way no one is not going to notice. Well get bounced. And, so, the fucking
commenced.
It was Ambers turn. So, everyone, truth or dare?
Three truths one dare. I always take the dare.
Truth wins, Amber said. Have you ever had an orgasm from a song?
Oh, thats easy, Janet said. Barry Whites Youre my first.
Nice, Amber said.
Biker blond rider chicks friend sitting next to me. The punk rock song, I hate you, that
was used in Star Trek four, the voyage home, she said.
Youre a Star Trek fan? I asked.
Oh, here we go, Janet complained.
Huge, Biker blond rider chicks friend said.
I knew there was a reason I should have fucked you first, I said.
Hey?! the biker blond rider chick complained. Im on top of you.
Your turn, Amber said to the biker chick rider busy on me
I never got off to a song, biker blond rider chick said.
Everyone turned to me. I was hesitating, but they probably thought I was searching my
memory. The fact that I was distracted gave me plausible deniability.
Jon, I can exempt you, Amber said. Men dont orgasm to songs.
Yeah, we do, I said.
Oh? Janet asked. Do tell.

The first time I experienced a aural orgasm, it was to the song Show de Xuxa, I said.
OMG, Jon, jacking off to a kids show on the Spanish channel doesnt count to getting
off on a song, Amber said.
You jacked off to a kids show? the biker blond chicks asked in unison.
Hold on, I said. Xuxa is an adult. And in my defense, she is jumping and singing and
spinning and, well, its hard to look away.
You can watch without touching yourself, Janet said.
I didnt touch myself, I said.
Her song really gave you an orgasm? Amber said.
Well, I was actually sitting on the speaker, I admitted.
I dont think that counts, Amber said.
Wait, the speaker vibrated you off? Janet said.
Like I said, it was my first aural orgasm, I said. Which was no doubt a combination of
serendipitous frequencies which tickled the perineum, balls, and prostate simultaneously. After
that discovery, out of pure research of course, I decided to further the experiment. With a simple
blue tooth speaker, hooked to a smartphone with youtube access, I discovered a host of channels
that could lead to an aural orgasm. Finally, I had a reason to watch theonlyluca without the
mute engaged. Surprisingly, just girls talking can induce an aural orgasm. The ASMR videos
didnt work. It needed to be louder than whispers. French speakers, for whatever reason, had the
most effective results.
Wait, French people speaking up your ass gets you off? biker blond rider chick asked.
Every time you talk, it takes me longer to finish, I told her, pushing her hips back into
the grind. Anyway, the best results came from the amateur sybian porn riding videos. The
crappier the audio, the better. The more noise the sybian made while vibrating, the more
stimulated I became, but when the girls started moaning, I got closer, and when the girl screams,
I get a full body, aural orgasm every time.
For a moment, the whole restaurant seemed to be listening. My table companions were
certainly listening.
I still dont think that counts, Amber said.
Qualifier, I said. With aural training, I conditioned my brain to respond to certain
sound trigger to initiate a prostate orgasm without direct stimulation, which is basically the same

conditioned response that a hypnotist provides a subject so that an orgasm is induced by a word
or a sound. Of course, I didnt know that was what I was doing until Loxy taught me about how
hypnosis works.
Hypnosis doesnt really work, Amber said. Thats just acting.
Janet? Do you like baseball? I asked her.
Janet closed her eyes and gave into a spontaneous orgasm. It took her a moment to
recover. Janet resumed her meal as if nothing had happened.
Does she even know? Amber said.
Know what? Janet asked.
Oh, nothing, I said.
Baseball, Amber said.
What about baseball? Janet asked.
It only works when I say it, I said.
Say what? Janet asked.
The trigger word, I said.
What trigger word for what? Janet asked.
Baseball, I said.
Janet closed her eyes again and surrendered.
Oh, I so want a trigger word, the Biker blond rider chicks friends said.
Morlon Fribourg approached our table and sat down even as Janet was recovering. Janet
put her hands on the table, not releasing her knife and fork. She did flip the knife around into
combat position and her fingers tightened around it, but she kept her hands visible on the table.
My biker blond rider stopped her grinding. Did I tell you to stop? I asked her.
No, Master, biker blond rider said, commencing grinding.
Youre not going to share with an old friend? Fribourg asked.
Youre not old, and youre not my friend, I said.
Jon, I am at least 22 years your senior, and youve eaten my food, literally snatching it
right off my plate, Fribourg said. In my book, that kind of makes us like family. Oh, why the
long face, Janet? There was a time when I could make you laugh.
Janet was about to say something, but I had to ask. I wasnt exactly calling him out as a
liar, yet, but I had my doubts. You look to be about my age.

Oh, you havent discovered the secret to longevity? Fribourg asked. The Fountain of
Youth is right there in the middle of the campus.
If thats true, why are there so many old magicians? I asked.
Oh, theres a lot of people who think an aged magician demands respect, Fribourg said.
Pff. Gandalf the gray my ass. If long gray beard made one wiser, ZZ-Top would be singing
Einsteinian formulas and doing melodies with the B-52s.
So, youre like mentally twelve, why didnt you go for physically twelve as well? Janet
asked.
Fribourg laughed loud, drawing the attention of patrons. Look at that. Who is making
whom laugh now?
Biker blond rider chick stopped grinding, concerned, but I pushed her hips back into
motion, and kept my hands on her thighs.
Oh, seriously? Unlike the movies might have it, no one listens to a kid magician,
regardless of his ability or mystical, magical birth marks. Ive done the research. I chose the
optimum age to have the maximum impact, Fribourg said. I am even better than that new
Strange guy.
Based on what research? Movie trivia? I asked.
Oh, Jon, please, I did complete graduate studies, Fribourg said.
What do you want, Fribourg? I asked.
Do you want that in a list format? Fribourg said. No, no, no, too long. Ill just
summarize. No, no, no, better, lets just start with your part.
Are you trying to do Princess Bride lines? I interrupted.
Princess who? Fribourg asked.
No, Doctor Who, Princess Bride, I corrected.
I thought it was Doctor Strange, Fribourg said.
No, well, yes, oh, damn it, I said, closing my eyes and gripping biker blond rider
chicks thighs hard. I shuddered with relief. I waited till my breath return to normal sync. Sorry,
I lost it. Where were we?
Youre losing your touch with the banter, Fribourg said. Earth is affecting you. You
really should give into my demands so you can get back to Safe Haven.

I patted biker blond rider chick motioning for her to get off me. She slipped to the side,
and her friend was about to slide on, but I blocked. Janet, take Amber and the biker chicks back
to my Texas home.
Janet didnt move.
Janet? I said more than asked.
Janet pushed up from the chair.
Let go of the silver wear, I instructed. Janet let go. Now take the girls out of here, and
wait for instructions.
Wait, you promised to publically fuck me next, Biker blond rider chicks friend said.
You can be next, its just going to have to be later, I said. She hesitated. Go now and I
will give you your own special trigger word.
She got up fast. My friends walked away, only Janet looked back. The four of the
disappeared through the arch as I pulled my pants up and buttoned them. I sat back down.
Im impressed, Jon, Fribourg said. It took me weeks to break Janet into full
compliance. Oh, but maybe thats it. You got her used, broken, and still dripping with sloppy
seconds, thirds and fourths.
I gave him a tolerant, polite smile. He was clearly baiting me into a fight, which I had no
intentions of engaging in. And then it occurred to me, like a sudden dj vu experience.
Did you know Safe Haven is under attack? I asked.
Really? Fribourg asked. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. Were they deconstructing Fribourg
Hall?
You booby trapped your Hall?! I snapped.
Did they go in my dungeon? Fribourg asked.
Obviously! I said.
And they went in that door that was magically sealed and had an emblem on it that said
do not enter. Fribourg asked.
Clearly, I said.
And they opened the chest that was in the middle of a pentagram surrounded by wards,
and clearly labeled, last chance, dont open, death to all who enters,? Fribourg said.
What the hell was in that thing?! I snapped.

Oh, we dont discuss what was in there. There was a reason that thing was in there and a
reason I blocked it out of my mind, Fribourg said. I dont understand people, Jon. I mean, I do,
but I really dont. I can get compliance in just about anything, but really. If you build a dark,
treacherous dungeon, and you booby trap it and fill it with monsters, and put a treasure chest at
the deepest, most inaccessible part of the vault, why is it people still go in there to search for
treasure? Cant you assume that if someone went through all that trouble it is because they were
doing mankind a favor by locking it up?
You and I should return and box that thing back up, I said.
Oh, fuck that, Fribourg said. Im not going anywhere near that thing. They have some
good magicians there. They should be able to handle it.
And if they cant clean up your shit? I asked.
Well, then, theres always the failsafe spell, Fribourg said.
Failsafe spell?
A contingency plan should anything that awful befall Safe Haven, Fribourg said.
Elaborate, I invited.
You dont know? Fribourg asked. Oh, I forgot. Youre fucking freshman. What the
hell would you know? So, heres how it works. Safe Haven didnt derive its name because its
safe for the student and faculty. Its called Safe Haven, because its a place for people to learn
the art of magic without risking the entire Universe. If anyone is stupid enough to open a chest
that is marked do not open, or some freshman summons up some bad ass demon from hell that
wants to mate with every female and spread its kind into the physical realm and take over,
causing despair and misery wherever it might go, well, Safe Haven locks down all Gateways. A
timer starts. If the contagion or threat is not contained within a certain time frame, well, the
whole planet, followed by the star, goes down the drain. Literally. It gets magically dropped right
into the black hole. Its why the black hole was placed there.
My hands were trembling.
You never wondered why Save Haven was in a Lagrange point near a black hole? The
keep it magically balanced right on this tipping point, a hair needles breath away from falling in
or falling away, Fribourg said.
I want to save them, I said.

Forget them. Theyre fucked. Nothing to do about it now, Fribourg said. Oh, wait. Are
you angry? Angry enough to attack me?
Release me from your bind so I can go save my friends, I said.
Nope, Fribourg said. Besides, even if I did, the gates are closed.
Then I will go by Starship! I said.
By yourself? Dont you need a crew? Fribourg asked.
You think I cant get a crew? All I have to do is go to a damn Cosplay Convention, and I
can a have full complimentary, volunteer crew in like ten minutes, I said.
Fribourg did the math. Yeah, probably, he said. But youd have to fuck them to get
them up to speed, and assuming minimum crew, fifty people, times your normal four hour
minimum first fuck, then factoring in travel time, well, I dont think Safe Haven has that long.
I could do a 2 minute fuck, I said.
You could convince a hundred Cosplay Star Trek want-to-bes into having a quickie?
Fribourg said. Oh, I might want to watch that. No, I dont really want to watch. Quite frankly,
and even now, youre wasting time, Jon. Which means you know you cant beat this one. Its
inevitable. And youre stalling because youre impotent. You want the bind dropped? You know
what you have to do. Attack me.
I dont want to fight you, I said.
Our conflict will not be resolved through negotiations, Fribourg said. You will attack
me or I will continue to escalate the goading until you break. Yesterday, a major city in Hawaii
was taken out by a Tsunami. This time next week, half of California will slide into the ocean and
Ill blame it on Trump.
I will not be goaded into an attack, I said.
Youre telling me, you will carry all of those deaths on your head? And they say I am
evil, Fribourg said.
Morlon, if anyone dies, its because you did it, I said. I am not Mel Gibson. I am not
going to be tortured, or even bat an eye while you kill folks. That has nothing to do with me.
Youre saying you wouldnt stop me if I did this? Fribourg said, squeezing his fingers
and Force choking everyone in the restaurant.
All conversations in the restaurant ceased. Slowly, almost imperceptible at first, a few
bewildered patrons started to fall from their chairs, then some fell to the table, and staff dropped

what they were doing and went to their knees. Everyone in the restaurant was afflicted but me
and Fribourg. I drank my wine, casually, feigning indifference.
OMG, youre aroused, Fribourg said, astonished. He looked back at the afflicted and
back at me. You want to fuck some of them while theyre on the floor? No. I cant be this
wrong about you. I would have known if you were a Fifty Shades Grayer kind of guy.
I stared at my wine glass. You really should try some of this.
Really?! Fribourg said. I am amazed by your complete lack of concern. I knew for a
fact I couldnt torture you directly. Youd just go away. Youre master of not being here. But I
really thought you would be there for the people. I thought you cared.
Caring doesnt mean I will take responsibility for you misconduct, I said. I am not
going to rob you of your free will.
Even if it means you save these people? Fribourg said.
OMG, Morlon. You want me to restrain you. Youre a fucking child, I said.
Fribourg stood suddenly, pointing at me. People fell out, freed, gasping for air. I couldnt
help but look up one of the ladies skirts as she recovered. Nice.
You take that back! Fribourg said.
Wow, who just goaded whom? I asked.
Fribourg thought about it, probably assessing if I had used proper English. This time,
next week, bye bye California, and hello Otisville.
Otisville? I asked.
Yeah, I saw it in a movie once, Fribourg said.
Nice, but you know, Lex wiped that off the map, I said.
The clock is ticking, Fribourg said, then twirled and disappeared, straight into the floor
like the wicked witch of the west, evil laughter and all.

Chapter 16
Shortly after Fribourg left, I got the sense that people here were not happy with me. I could have
fucked anyone here in my seat or against the wall all day with hardly a casual glance, but fail to
block folks from sampling Force choking, and suddenly, I am the bad guy. A did another
assessment to make sure I was reading it right. The might have just been aroused and wanting
more. I decided not to follow that track, pulled a stack of hundred dollar bills from my bag,
acquired from the biker club, and left it on the table. The waitress glared at me.
Comp everyones meal, and share a tip with the rest of your staff, I said. There was
more than enough there to make this a nice week for everyone.
I departed, ignoring my urge to linger and see if her stare change from distrust to fuck
me now. It was quite possible that the waitress, and everyone else, had no clue why they were
mad at me. Unless, along with the choking Fribourg planted the idea that I could rescue them.
But I didnt want to think about it. I walked. Where was I? Oh, yeah, Seattle, Washington. The
Underground. I walked alone, avoiding tour groups, but couldnt help but identify nice hidden
but public hiding spaces that might be good for a public fuck, and even could discern which
spots were used by others in the past, and some spots that people hadnt thought about, and
wished Loxy was with me. Wishing didnt even summon up LT. That probably meant she was
just incredibly busy keeping people safe. I was not indifferent. I simply didnt feel the urgent
need to go and rescue people, because I trusted Loxy had it. The Universe had it. I am not
superman and I dont have to attend to every emergency.
I passed through a narrow hall and magically emerged out onto the beach. I found a spot
to watch a sunset. I had this dreadful feeling I was forgetting something. The certainty I was
forgetting something accompanied by a sense of pending doom, coupled with a sunset and
mournful, melancholy music in my head, wanting a double sunset, left me kind of exhausted.
Janet was suddenly and magically beside me, sitting down in the sand.
You okay? Janet asked.
I shrugged. Fribourg put a clock on California.
Jon, everyone and everything has a clock on it, Janet said.
I nodded. True enough. I dont get it, I said. Hes an aged and graduated magician,
much more powerful than I. If he is so threatened by me, why doesnt he just kill me and get it
over with?

You bounded him, Janet reminded me. Remember when you challenged him to a
duel? Not only that, you beat him and reinforced the binding. He cant touch you or any of your
friends unless one of us attacks first.
Oh, I said. Well, I guess that makes sense. So these binding spells are really
powerful?
OMG, yeah they are, Janet said. Lots of people study entanglement, but the real magic
is in untangling. The universe is not made up of particles, but rather its made up of clothes
hangers and electrical power cords. Once youre in the physical plane, you might as well have
rolled through a glue mouse trap, because every slip of plastic and paper is going to stick you as
if you were a balloon rubbed on hair.
Nice, I said.
Janet smiled. Why thank you. I am branching out into esoteric philosophizing, she said.
I imagine one couldnt be a proper assassin without the ability to philosophize, I said.
Umm, never thought about it, Janet said.
I feel like I am forgetting something, I said.
Janet thought about it. She shrugged. Your mother died this morning at three AM,
Janet said.
I searched myself for an emotional reaction. I felt a knot in my stomach loosen, and I
could suddenly breathe a little deeper. It was finally over. I still had some siblings, even some
half siblings I had never met, but no parental hierarchy weighing on me. It felt like I was finally
alone, walking up an incline, towards a cliff. A sole lemming about to take the leap.
Youre not alone, Janet said, as if she were reading my mind. She leaned into me, put
her head on my shoulder, and took my hand. You have us. You have me.
Thank you, I said.
Thank yous are not required, Janet said.
I pulled her into an embrace and she twisted away from the sunset and into my lap. Her
hands went behind my neck, and my hands to her hips. I met her eyes. No, it is. I am grateful
for your presence in my life. I am grateful for the games we play and the intimacy you have
shared with me, I said.
I could see the tears swelling and a drop pushed free. You make it sound as if this were
the end, Janet said.

A wise woman once told me, Jon, everyone and everything has a clock on it, I
reminded.
Janet smiled. I leaned forwards and gently brushed her lips with mine. She tried to
engage for a deeper kiss, but I pulled back, holding her hair tightly so she couldnt pursue,
communicating without words that this was me kissing her and that she should wait. She
accepted. One of my hands cradled the back of her head, fingers threaded into her hair, while the
other rested on her neck. I could feel her heart beat under my thumb. I took the thumb from over
her pulse and ran it up her neck to her chin, and over, traced around her lips, traced her
eyebrows, pushed her hair behind her ears. I traced down to her cleavage and back up to her
shoulder, where my hand stayed while I took her lower lip and pried it away from the top,
sucking it in, leaving her mouth in a soft O. I inhaled her breath. I synchronized out breathing
so that I inhaled as she exhaled. As she inhaled, her stomach chased mine, and when her belly
retreated, mine followed. Our eyes remained opened, locked. I tasted her lower lip, slid to the
side, and then took her upper lip into my mouth, probing between lip and teeth with tongue. This
was not a rushed procedure. I did not go deep, fast. This was not a greedy kiss, the way
Americans eat chocolate, only to wash the taste away with a soda. And not saying thats the
wrong way to eat chocolate or to kiss, but this time, it deliberately slow because there would be
other times, especially after one of our Mach attacks, where I would be all over Janet as if we
were a random hook-up and I needed to get my fuck in before she came to her senses and said
no. This was not that. This was savored. I could still taste the wine she had had at dinner. As I
kissed her, hands went down my back and her arms tightened around me. Waves crashed on the
shore and the smell of sea was prominent. I pulled back, not seeing the world around her, as
Monet had his brush and mixed everything in the background. I blinked and it was all back to
normal.
Fuck, Janet said. That was like the most awesome kiss ever.
I want to do it again, I told her.
Oh, hell yeah, Janet said, bringing her lips in for more.
Tomorrow, I said, blocking.
Uh? Janet said.
I want you to go back to Bliss and hang out there until I come get you, I told her.
Are you trying to protect me? Janet said.

No, I said honestly. I am making a strategic decision to put you in play at a later
time.
I couldnt tell if she was skeptical or calculating, but she nodded.
Do you have anyone you want to take back? I asked. Family, friends?
Janet thought about it and then shook her head no. Was she really as lonely as I was? I
have never really listened to her story. I know there was abuse in her past, but I hadnt learned
who her friends were. I didnt know if there was any family she could cling to when things were
really rough. But, maybe that is how she came to be at Safe Haven. She needed a safe place to
learn her magical skills without blowing things up. Like blowing up all of New York.
Really? Not even a cute girlfriend? I asked.
Oh, you wish, Janet said.
I wouldnt be me if I hadnt asked, I said.
You know, I havent been able to figure it out yet. Are you the Family Guy dad, Peter,
or are you the raunchy neighbor Quagmire, Janet said.
Why cant I be both? I said.
Janet laughed and kissed me. Make sure the next time you have a flashback, I am in it
somewhere, she said. Do you have anyone else you want me to pull?
I thought about it. I really didnt. I have lots of affection for a lot of folks in my past, and
have never lost esteem for any, kind of like that Beatles song, there are places I remember, but
none that I would want to rip from the world to spare them from an impending disaster. If I
thought long and hard, there would be a few celebrities in California I would pull, but they
usually come with drama, and can be demanding. Not all of them. Just many of the ones I like to
watch. On mute. I also knew that if I perused the general female population, I wouldnt have
time to pick all the ones I would rescue against their wills, even if I sorted by real breast instead
of fake. And sometimes, you want a woman with fake breasts. Sometimes, you have to look
twice at the man with fake breasts before you can commit to an answer: male or female? I
sighed. I even considered rescuing some of my favorite pornstars, if not all of them, but its
really difficult to make friends with a pornstar because they get hit on even more than regular
stars, and its just hard for them to sort genuine offers of friendship, I just want to take you home
and fuck, and quite frankly, I wanted both.

You can find Sofia the secretary and extend an invitation from me to get away from her
life, if she likes, I said.
Okay, Janet said.
We sat there. Not moving.
I want to fuck you right now on the beach, Janet said.
Tomorrow, I said.
Are you feeling well? Janet asked.
Im feeling great. Its called delayed gratification, I said.
Janet barked a laugh. You dont even know what those words mean.
Well find out, tomorrow, I said. Or in five minutes. Sometimes, you just go as far as
you can.
Janet kissed me. It was a greedy I love you kiss and an attempt to make me give up on
my ideas of tomorrow and do it now, and I kissed her back and took her to the beach, subduing
her hands above her head, her leg splayed open and the natural slit of her Armani dressed opened
more than it should, but I stood up. I offered her a hand.
Really? Janet said, not angry, but clearly trying to understand this new game.
Tomorrow, I said. Do you want me to sing the song for you?
Janet took my hand and pulled herself up. Only if you tolerate me singing yesterday.
If you sing yesterday after I sing tomorrow, we might have to sing today, I
offered.
But if we sang todays yesterday tomorrow, Janet began. Sorry, I lost it. You win.
I put an arm around her waist and pulled her in for another kiss. The sea breeze found the
opening to her torn dress and separated it. Then we parted and I stood there looking at someone
who was about to go on a long trip into space and wondered if there would actually be a
tomorrow for us. I heard an echo of LT singing There has to be a morning after, and wondered
if it was her reaching out to me, or just a memory, and the warning signal its was all about to go
down.
Janet looked around for a suitable arch, but I motioned her to wait. I walked to a tree
segment that had washed up on shore, broke off a branch, and used it to draw a circle on in the
sand. I motioned for Janet to go first.
Clever boy, Janet said, stepping into the circle. She went mid circle and faced me.

I think you were supposed to jump, I said.

Might as well Janet said, and jumped, and fell through the earth.
I waited a second and reset the destination. I hesitated. I didnt really want to go. Also, I
still had that pressure in my head that I was forgetting something. Like an iron, but thats
ridiculous, cause I never iron my clothes. I wondered if I had left the oven or stove on, but I
hadnt really cooked since I entered Safe Haven. I told myself to relax, its just impending doom
creating paranoia, and then I jumped into the circle, into the future, into my mothers funeral,
already in progress.

Funeral sucks. And not just because of the reason you imagine. Socially, I have always struggled
to fit in, so much so I have been accused of being home schooled. Or autistic. But at funerals, I
fit in really well, but I dont want to fit in I want to be adversarial and mess things up. People
will approach you say nice things to you, ask how you are, maybe even hug you. I have been at
family reunions and had less interaction. It strikes me as artificial. If someone asked a grieving
person how they are at a funeral, my answer would be outrageously inappropriate. I was spared
the conversations due to being late, but I was not spared a reaction to seeing family grouped
around the coffin about to be lowered. My brothers looked much older than they should, much
older than my mind wanted to accept based on our last interaction, and I cringed, and wondered
if this was my future, but then I realize, they were just additional examples for a faces of meth
website. By the way, I will never tell you not to use drugs, however, if youre using meth and
you havent seen the face of meth website, I invite you to interrupt your joy reading and go look
at that! Yeah, it might not make you not use meth, but if it puts a second thought in your head,
well, good luck with that. Back to me. Because this is about me, and if you get something in the
process, well, isnt that just magic? I recognized a few other family members. There were people
here I didnt know. Friends, maybe. Perhaps spouses of family members I havent met. Cousins I
havent met.
No one noticed me. I held back under a tree and observed, and was finding magic to be
incredibly helpful and simultaneously a curse. You have to remember, the only reason people
dont use magic to clean the bathroom or the toilet is because magic is so much more sensually
intimate that you cant touch the object of your focus without getting that on your hands and in

your mouth. No one has ever told you that, and its true whether its light magic or dark magic.
You heal someone, you know them intimately. You kill someone, you know them intimately. So,
for example, even from separated from the group at the coffin by a reasonable distance, I could
scrutinize a person, as if I was zooming into a picture for a closer look. I could even isolate a
members, zoom in for greater detail, and rotate around them to get a view from any angle, as if
they were standing there alone. At this point, clothed or naked becomes irrelevant. If I wanted to
know there thoughts, I could, but I would rather listen to theonlyluca ramble about the subject of
bras than hear the thoughts of my family. But just like watching theonlyluca on mute and getting
aroused, magically zooming in on my family had the same affect. If you dont think this ability
doesnt automatically lead to inappropriate thoughts, well, you have never held a superpower.
Indeed, that is the one bizarre thing about superheroes that has always perturbed me, is you
rarely see them use their powers to get their partners off. Hell, you know it, and I know, even
Doctors who are supposed to be professional, and are 99 percent of the time, will have that one
customer who comes into their office that if it wasnt for the nurse in the room, the patient would
be getting fucked! I dont care if he is an OBGYN and he tells you he looks at vaginas all day
and is not affected. If hes fucking you, and youre a girl, he loves vaginas just as much as the
next guy, and there is no fucking way he doesnt get a kick off the fact that he has licensed to
probe as many vaginas as he wants. Which either means, his relationships suck because he cant
maintain his interest in one vagina, or, his relationships are great because he uses playing with
vaginas all day as a way of building up energy so when he gets home to you all he wants to do is
fuck for the next hour from the pent up stress from work. Not really sure. I dont have any
OBGYN friends. Until attending Safe Haven, I really hadnt had any friends. And I am also
curious, how my theory is affected by female OBGYNs. And then I am thinking, we have just
too many neurosis around sex!
Americans frequently think of themselves as the most advanced culture in everything,
even sex. We are not even in the top hundred. Dont believe me, watch Sexplanations! The most
sexually liberated county episode. It makes Safe Haven seem like a nunnery. Thats right. You
only thought I had a sex addiction. But think about it, sex addiction is a label created by a bunch
of white ass Doctors trying to medicalize a concept based on a comparative analysis of statistical,
accepted norms, which means, if I traveled to the most sexually liberated place, they would
probably want to hospitalize me for lack of libido. In fairness to Americans, though, everyone

thinks they are sexually liberal and open minded, until they talk to someone who isnt in the
same box.
So, why am I here! Oh, yeah, the funeral. And I am wanting to fuck people! Hell! Some
of them are even my family and I would still, so fuck them. Black dresses and hose is mourning
in the morning, huge fucking turn on. I was wanting rain and umbrellas, but bright blue skies was
just making me hornier. A gentle breeze blew dressed up against bodies, giving hints to details
underneath. Dresses were pinned against legs, or went between legs. I wanted to be the wind,
blowing into and folding around the women. And the more I told myself, this is wrong, this is a
funeral and that one is your cousin, the more I wanted to fuck! Using magic to zoom in, was
equal touching them. If I notice someone shiver and turn around, I was thinking, yeah, bitch, I
did that, enjoy. Which is just wrong on so many levels, but that didnt stop me, and so if I were
Kevin bacon in the invisible man, yeah, there is going to be some fucking. Maybe this is why I
dont have a starship. I would beam people up, phaser them with stun, fuck them, and beam them
back. You never see that on Star Trek, but statistically, do you really think that never happened?
And yes, I am not going to do that, but I do imagine that there is a character that does do that,
and I am the hero that has to come into that scene and save the woman, which gets the other guy
dead or arrested and then I get laid, which ultimately ends up being the same thing: I created
something so wrong to get something so right! Come on, thats the number one male reason for
getting laid in movies. Just ask Mel Gibson!
But hell, I wouldnt even try to be sneaky about it anymore. No, I dont really want to be
the Bill Cosby equivalent with a Star Trek phaser. If anyone of the girls I was ogling were
agreeable, Id fuck her right here, in front of everyone, even up against the coffin. Or if we could
sneak into the hole and fuck quietly on fresh earth and then get out before anyone notices, oh, I
would so do that. If
I am really surprised by the turn out. Everything I hear about her, she was a real bitch
from hell.
I was so started out of my fuck fantasy rape I nearly put a bubble around me and flew off.
And, you really shouldnt be surprised that I have mild rape fantasies. And I do mean mild,
because I know people who have rape fantasies I cant touch without being sick, but they are a
part of the sexual landscape for humans. You would not have any rape scene in any movie if
rapes were not popular. Yeah, you poll enough people, male or female, you will find people that

were raped and are totally disgusted and hating and hurting and cant watch certain movies, but
there is a greater number of people, male and female, that are also wanting to be the one that is
kidnapped, hoodwinked, tied up, and forced to orgasm. And, in order for that fantasy to exist,
you have to have someone who is willing to indulge them. This is where I enter. If I had a sex
business, I would offer the rape fantasy. It would have to include a financial exchange so that it
can be considered legitimate, and I would need to know your schedule, and a reasonable time for
you to be abducted from your world, and would have to have the safe words and all of that, but
yeah, we could so make an arrangement. But I would so provide the service, and, you should
know up front, I am going to fuck you. With your prior consent, of course. I can even find a
rigger if you want to be hog tied and suspended. I am not the rigger. But I could hypnotize you
and bound you by suggestion, which is really surprisingly more erotic than actual ropes, because
not only does it baffle the mind that it works and you cant move your hands and ankles from
where I placed them, the fact that you are subconsciously aroused and surprised heightens the
sensuality because youre not only paying attention to the physical sensations, youre probing
your own mind for how the fuck does this work?! It only works with permission! Permission is
the greatest fuck you will ever have, hands down. Yeah, I love fucking a womans mind before
fucking a vagina, and if you think about it, all sex is a mind-fuck, with greater levels opening up
only through permission.
So, let me guess, the woman said. Youre Harold and you just get off to funerals?
Wow, did I just go away again in another fucking rant about fucking? Maybe I am
Peter/Quagmire. Hearing her voice almost startled me again. I smiled lightly. Nice movie
reference, I said.
Im impressed. No one ever gets my jokes, she said. She was about my height, not
quite funereally dressed, but passible Sunday-go to-meeting clothes. If you have Porsche
converted into a Hearse, I am so going to fuck you.
I blinked. OMG. Want to steal one? I asked.
She was leaning into the tree, looking at me. Brunette, long, straight hair, the kind I might
actually use to tie her own wrists with. As I scrutinize her closer, she looked out of place with the
Sunday clothes. There was hint of a tattoo just below the neckline of her dress, and I suspected
on her arms and legs. If anyone belonged in a hippie commune, it was her. I could see her

driving a Volkswagen Van, hippie flowers painted directly over a lime green or lemon yellow,
selling clothes.
You dont think its wrong to be this aroused at a funeral? she asked.
I would have been more aroused if you were the 78 year old Maude, I told her. I was
guessing she was nineteen.
Well, I guess in this scenario, youre Maude and I am Harold, she said.
You should know, I am not 78, but I am so into May December relationships, that if you
continue, you will be fucked, I said.
Oh, well, then, we should fuck now before we discover were biologically related, she
said.
Undo my pants, I said, hitting the balls back into her court.
She eased a little closer. You dont think I will?
I am enjoying the anxiety of anticipation, I said.
Umm, so anticipation is making me wait, she said. Story of my life. But I am not
really into the sexual build up. I just like to fuck.
I put her back to the tree and kissed her hard, pushing between her legs. One of her legs
came up and around. I bit her neck. She gasped, pulling at my back.
Tell me how you knew her, she whispered in my ear even as her hands were groping
me.
She was my mother, I said.
She paused, meeting my eyes, seriously. Oh. Im sorry.
That you disparaged her in front of me at her funeral, or that I am the son of a real bitch
from hell? I asked, meeting her eyes.
She smiled. So, youre not mad?
Crazy mad or angry mad? I asked.
Are you still going to fuck me? she asked.
With your permission, of course, I said.
Fuck me, she said, and bit my neck.
How did you know her? I asked, breathlessly.
Oh, she use to stalk my grandmother, she said.
I stopped. Wait, wait, wait, I said. Whats your name?

What? You need my name to fuck me? she asked.

Unless you want me to call out some other girls name when I orgasm, I said.
That would make me laugh, she said.
I love being inside a girl when I make her laugh, I said.
You should be inside me then, she said. Im Jenna, by the way.
Last name? I asked.
Austin, Jenna said.
No fucking way! I said. Your father is Billy Jack Austin?
No, my father was an asshole. My grandfather is Billy Jack Austin, Jenna said.
Do you believe in magic? I asked.
Only the kind you can make, Jenna said.
I took her hand and stepped away from the tree, pulled her in close as if we were
concluding a dance, told her to think of her grandmothers home, and then rushed us under a
flower arch. We arrived at her grandmothers house, back in time. We were in a bedroom. It was
quiet, the kind of quiet after a storm of morning activity where kids are rushed out the door and
into the station wagon to be shuttled to school.
OMG, Jenna said. Did you hypnotize me?
If it helps, think that, I offered. Can you show me a picture of Billy Jack?
Can you fuck me while I am hypnotized? Jenna asked.
You should know, you mom might be my half-sister, I said.
Oh, then you should definitely fuck me before you see a picture of your father, Jenna
said.
Yeah, I am pretty sure were related. Picture first, I said.
Jenna frowned. I am so fucking wet and horny, you better not end this without a fuck,
she said, leading me into the living room.
Jenna found a photo album in a space under the coffee table, put it on top of the coffee
table, and then pushed me to the couch. Fuck, and I thought I was aggressive. Had girls been this
aggressive when I was this age, I would have been married or a father several times over. The
fact that I was thinking about marrying simultaneously while being raped by Jenna was more
evidence to me that she was family. And really, all I wanted was to get to the photo album. Was

this arousing, yeah. Did I want to fuck her, hell yeah! Would it matter if it turned out we were
related, not so much.
Why here? I asked her.
You brought me here, Jenna said, going for my belt.
Yeah, no, wait, wait, wait, I said.
Jenna confused. What?!
Why here, why now? I said. I asked you think about your grandmothers home, but
you brought me back in time.
Jenna shrugged, casually looking at the calendar in the background. I dont know,
Jenna said, struggling to find an answer.
Dont think, just let an answer come, go with your first thought, I said.
Okay, Jenna said, and commenced with the raping.
Only after my penis was liberated and taken hostage by her vagina, riding me hard, she
had insight. Oh, maybe this is the day your mom kidnapped my mom, Jenna offered.
No fucking way, I said.
Oh, yes, it made the paper and everything, Jenna said.
I would have remember that shit, I said.
You would have been like six years old, Jenna said. Assuming youre my moms
age.
How do you know about it? I asked.
The newspaper clipping is in the photo album, Jenna said. Along with a copy of the
restraining order against your mother. Some situational snafu kept her from going to prison, and
there was huge ruckus, and quarreling about survivor benefits and such.
So, my mom was trying to get some of the benefits? I asked.
Jenna took a time out, closed her eyes, and came. Oh, fuck, Im coming. Cum with me!
Squirrel one away in me
Her statement was so bizarre in the heat of the moment I laughed and busted a nut in her.
And I think that was a first time that I ever laughed so hard that I came because of my laughing,
which made it a surprisingly stronger orgasm. I became aware of the scratches on her thighs.
They were five straight lines carved into her flesh, and the perfect circles of cigarette burns
placed over the lines like a musical phrase. I lightly touched the scars.

Jenna got off me. Dont do that, she said, pulling her dress down. I became aware that
she was wearing a butt plug with an artificial raccoon tail, which explained the ball sensations I
was having during play. I had just assumed it was the couch quilt.
I am confused. I can fuck you, but I cant touch your
I dont want your sympathy, Jenna snapped.
I wasnt giving you
You have no right to be so personal with people, Jenna said.
I stood up, buckled my pants. Sorry, I said.
Fuck you. You tricked me into this, Jenna went on.
Sit down, I said.
I am not your fucking sub, Jenna said, pushing me.
I didnt catch her wrists. I was tempted to. I was tempted to smack her. Sit down, I
said, even more calmly than I imagined I could.
Jenna sat down. I fished a spike collar out of my pocket. A smile flashed across her face
before she erased it and tried to bolt, but I pushed her back to the couch. This time I held her
wrists, and to keep from getting kneed in the groin, I sat on her legs. And in her fight, I found a
gateway into her brain, hypnotizing her. She fell slumped against my chest.
Shhh, shhh, thats it, sleep, I said. I was amazed at how deep she went, but suspect it
was due to the fact we were out of sync with our normal time line, and that we had just entered a
sex magic contract of some sort. That, and a part of her really wanted to be collared. Perhaps the
part of her that had daddy issues, which also might explain why she came on so strong to me. If a
woman is a nympho, more than likely sex abuse and or trauma was in her past. Not always, but
then again, if she really was biologically related, well, need I say more? You want to obey me.
Your present sleep is your permission. From this point forward, we are bound. You are my pet. It
will bring you pleasure to obey. If I tell you to sit, you will sit. If I call you, you will come. If I
place your limb somewhere and say lock, it will stay where I placed it until I say unlock. You
will find these invisible restraints pleasurable. You are even invited to resist them, because the
more you resist the invisible restraints, the more stuck you become, and the more pleasure you
will feel. You will channel all your self-injurious behaviors into sex, and you focus all your sex
energy on me, or someone I give you permission to be with. You are my pet.

I woke her from the trance. She resumed the struggle. I pushed her down to the couch, on
top of her, pinning her wrists above her head, against the arm of the couch and said Lock. This
was the test. People cannot be hypnotized to do something they dont want to do. So, if it didnt
work, she either didnt want to, or she needed a few extra sessions. I let go of her wrists. They
stayed planted to the couch as if tied. At first she was confused. She tried to see what was
securing her wrists to the couch, but couldnt see anything, and the more she pulled, the more
aroused she became, which was evidenced by her breathing pattern changing.
How are you doing this to me? Jenna asked.
I was still sitting on her. Jenna was trying to throw me off her so I got off, ran my hands
down her exposed legs to her ankles and locked them to the couch. No matter how hard she
struggled, her ankles didnt leave the space that I locked them. I sat beside her on the couch,
holding up the collar.
Tell me to put this on you, I told her.
Fuck you, Jenna said. You have no authority over me, you old freak.
I smiled at her. Can you move your hands or feet? I asked.
Jenna struggled against invisible the invisible restraints, perturbed. She licked her lips,
clearly confused as to whether she should be panicking or submitting to her arousal. There was
some evidence that she was approaching an orgasm due to her increased resistance, which
caused her to ease up, as if she was telling herself this wasnt right.
Wake up, Jenna told herself.
I put my hands in my lap, holding the collar. Jenna, look at me. You are not dreaming. I
can only imagine the horrors of your life, but even though I can imagine some pretty awful shit, I
have no clue what it was like for you. I do know this. You dont have to go another 28 years
before you start figuring out how to get your life in control. I am going to help you
I dont want your help, you old fuck! Jenna snapped.
Then pull your hands and ankles free and walk away, I instructed her.
Remember the part where I told you how much rope and bondage is arousing? Well, it
has nothing on how arousing invisible rope play is. Hypnotic shackling is fucking awesome,
because fucking with permission is always the best fuck. She tried to rotate herself off the couch,
her hips raising, her dress coming up and exposing her.

OMG, I cant move, and I am so fucking wet, Jenna said. How are you doing this to
me?!
Youre doing it to yourself, I explained. You think you know the world, but you dont
have a clue. Join me, I will teach you the ways of the dark side.
Youre a vampire? Jenna asked.
Really? I asked. That was so Dark Jedi, you didnt get it?
Youre a Sith?! Jenna asked.
Okay, so she knows her Star Wars. I was going for a neutral Jedi, but have to say dark
because you are the second potential half-sister I fucked.
Oh. Youre a practitioner of Crazy Wisdom, the art of seeking enlightenment through
the breaking of taboos? Jenna asked.
I held up the collar as an answer.
Her nod was subtle. I shook my head no, telling her I needed a more substantial
commitment. Her next nod was more obvious, but still I didnt accept. She was now resigned to
the hypnotic restraints.
Fucking collar me already, Jenna snapped.
Say it nicer. Convince me, I said.
Fuck you, Jenna said.
Say it nicer, and include my name, I instructed.
I dont remember your name, Jenna said.
Nice. Just say Master, then, I said.
What if I say Daddy, please, not like this? she asked.
Only say that when I am inside you and you want me to laugh, I said.
Jennas eyes became serious. Tell me you wont ever abandon me, she said.
Thats not how life works, I said. Whether I am your master or your dog, things
happen. Both masters and dogs get run over. Thats fucking life. And speaking of fucking life,
both masters and dogs will fuck who they want when they want. You can fuck others, but as my
pet, all suitors have to go through me, until I say otherwise. No more random fucks for you. No
more drugs for you. No more cutting for you. We are going to re-channel this energy into
something more productive. But until you have demonstrated obedience, youre not allowed to
switch to Master or Dom. Also, I will fuck you whenever I want. Are we clear?

I have always been dominant, Jenna protested.

No, you have always been in charge, and youve manipulated the fuck out of people to
get what you want and that has worked great for you, I said. But you have never been
dominant. Manipulation is always two ways, as any manipulation is a contract for both to get
their needs met. Obedience is not about following the commands of others. Obedience is not
about submission to society or an individual, but is rather a demonstration first of discipline to
oneself, and second, the gifting of courtesy to others.
And if they dont deserve courtesy? Jenna asked.
Everyone deserves courtesy, I said. And if you think someone hasnt earned it then
you are not measuring them, youre measuring yourself, and in that instance giving courtesy is
an exercise in self-discipline, obedience to a rule.
So just let people walk all over me?! Jenna said.
As opposed to the way they already have? I asked. Have you gotten ahead in life?
Have you secured a home? A livelihood. And I am not talking about a job, but rather securing a
joy that you want to do, regardless of what the earnings are. Do you have a safe place where you
can just be and not feel judged?
And youre going to offer all of this to me?
I will be providing you a place of non-judgment, a place where you can be you and
develop in any way you please, I said. I am going to give you unconditional love and
acceptance.
How can you spin that shit and expect me to obey you? Jenna said, angry.
Embrace the paradox, I encouraged.
What if I want to do drugs? Jenna asked.
There will be consequences, I said. But, if you follow me, I think you will find
something better than drugs.
Pff, Jenna blew, skeptically. And how do I know you want just keep me enslaved
forever?
I gave a halfhearted shrug. When you have learned all you need to know from me, you
will know.
How will I know? Jenna said.

The hypnotic bonds will cease to hold you captive, I said. Even now, you have the
power to get up and walk away and never look back. I leaned in closer to her face. Search
yourself, shine a light like you never have. Push back the darkness and see and make the call.
Right now, what do you want?
Jenna shivered. Her respiration rate changed again, even without discernable struggle
against the hypnotic chains binding her. She licked her lip. A part of her eyes were wild with
fear, but the bigger part was a wanting. That wanting won out. She wanted to kiss me but I pulled
back.
I want you, Jenna said.
I need something more, I said.
I want you to own me. Make me your pet. Collar me, Master, Jenna said.
I placed the collar around her neck and secured it. I traced the contours of her face with
my fingers. I traced down her body, over dress, and down to her thighs. I pushed my hands
between her legs and spread the wetness around her. Most of it was her, but there was still the
cream pie I had left. I tasted it, licking my own finger. I then got up, unlocked her ankles and
pushed them up to her butt, locking them there. I shoved one, upturned knee into the couch and
locked it, then pushed the other knee to an equally open position and locked it in air. I put my
face between her legs and licked all around the target, biting both thighs. I described her own
anatomy to her and told her what I liked about and what I was about to do to it, and then I ate her
out. I then kneeled in the space between her legs and held my dick against her. I directed to grind
her hips, so that she rubbed her lips against my dick, and then I put it in her, so that her grinding
brought me inside her. I pushed it in and leaned over and held her in neck in my hands and told
her to make me cum inside her. She obeyed.

Chapter 17
After the fuck I got up, buckled my pants, went and made myself at home in the kitchen, finding
all the ingredients to make a cup of coffee, and was into my first cup when I realized, oh, yeah, I
was forgetting something.
Unlock all restraints, I said.
Jenna gasped. I came back to the couch while she was stretching. Its hard work being
bound, but we like what we like. And you really have to give a master rigger their dues, because
thats not easy shit. Its not just tying a knot and calling her done. You have to actually care
about the work and not want to injure a person in a permanent way. The goal is to ultimately get
someone off, meet a need, without harming someone. Its like going to the dentist. The dentist
might cause you pain, but their intent is not to cause harm. I sat down on the couch, drank my
coffee, and perused the photo album.
Is this him? I asked.
Oh, no, thats an uncle, Jenna said, sitting down next to me, fingering her collar. She
put her hands in my lap. She pointed out her grandmother. We came upon the newspaper article
about an alleged kidnapping from a kindergarten class, and my mom was in the photo, which
meant we had come back in time to a particular day, but not the day she had first thought about.
Based on the date on the newspaper, I would have also been in kindergarten. Then I saw a photo
of her mom and realize, fuck! I knew her. I was in one of her classes. And I remember my mom
always asking about the girl with the curly hair, always sort of pushing me to ask her to join me
on the playground or come to my house and play, and I always thought it was because she
wanted me to like girls, and that might have been part of it, but clearly she had a secret agenda
there, too, and I found myself reviewing my personal history looking for more evidence of evil.
You okay? Jenna asked.
I looked to Jenna. There were no tears in my eyes. Yes, pet. Thank you for being
observant of my feelings and for asking. I love how sensitive you are to others.
Jenna smiled. OMG, your words nearly made me cum again!
Would you find me a photo of your grandfather? I asked.
Jenna poured through the album, but didnt find any photos of her grandfather.
Thats weird, she said. I remember him being in here.

Jenna produced several other photo albums, and still found no traces of Billy Jack Austin.
Jenna seemed confused by the problem.
Where else might we find a photo of him? I asked.
Jenna shrugged. My grandmother always said that my father was the spitting image of
Billy Jack. Would that interest you?
It might, I said.
I stood, offered my hand, and waited for her to take it. She took my hand, and I waited
for her to stand on her own volition. She complied in increments. I instructed her to think of her
home and then ran us through an arch and forwards in time to her childhood home. We arrived in
her living room. A woman with glowing eyes stood in the middle of the room, as if expecting us.
She was dressed in white spandex, fetish wear, her legs and arms bare. I pulled on an invisible
leash to bring Jenna closer to me, so that I was in front of her and would take the full brunt of the
attack I was expecting. There are a number of mechanisms in place to prevent people from
accidentally or intentionally changing the timeline, and I figured I must have tripped something
because Jenna and I were still not in sync with our timelines.
Are you a GOD? I asked.
The woman in white smiled, hands going to her hip. Interesting, you dont recognize
me.
Are you an archetype? I asked.
I am not a metaphor, Father, she said.
Her use of the word father struck me as not playful banter offering a hookup. Was this
one on my children with Alish seeking me out from her future? What is your name?
Penny Lane, she answered.
Oh, I love that name! Jenna said.
Probably why you gave it to me, Penny said.
I blinked, looking from Penny Lane to Jenna and back, and saw the resemblance and then
I cringed with full understanding. OMG. You named our daughter after a Beatle song?
We have a daughter together? Jenna asked, confused.
Dont worry, your memories will catch up, Penny said. From your perspective, I was
conceived on my grandmothers couch not even fifteen minutes ago, but when you leap frogged

into the future, you jump over the whole nine months pregnancy thing, and well, arrived here. I
am 18, and yet mom, youre just being born at Scot and White hospital, down the street.
I am really confused, Jenna said.
Dont try and follow it, Penny and I said simultaneously. Penny smiled at me. Great
minds think alike.
Why are you here? I asked.
I dont think youre ready for this discovery. I know mom isnt, but you, well, it will
make what you have to do so much harder, Penny said.
It felt like there were some riddles here that needed to be sorted out. Again, I felt like I
was forgetting something, but I pushed over that and tried to focus. So many tangents to follow. I
had a daughter with Jenna! She is now like 18. Clearly a superior magician, and, oh, fuck, I had
been entertaining fucking her right up to the point I had accepted the truth that she was my
daughter and like, how do you take that back? So, imagine for a moment, youre the parent of
some sexy ass celebrity, like Lady Gaga, Britney Spears, Katy Perry, or Taylor Swift, and youre
at the concert and watching them gyrate hips in a suggestive manner. Do you have to get up and
leave because damn, thats fucking hot? Worse, what if you didnt know your daughter and
discovered shes the porn star youve been getting off to all these years. And fuck, Jenna is my
half-sister, which means my daughter is my half niece? My fucking brain was about to collapse.
What was I looking for? I just want to know what my father looked like, I said.
Come closer, Penny said. Mom, stay there.
I know what my father looks like
Stay there, Penny said.
You cant tell me what to do Jenna said.
I raised a finger, silently telling Jenna to be quiet. She complied.
I really want you to teach me that, Penny said.
You will not use that trick on your mother, I told her.
Yes, Sir, Penny said.
I want to see my father, I said.
Penny nodded, took my arm, and guided me to a shelf. It didnt take me long to find a
photo of Jennas mother and father together. I felt tremors in my body. Something in the kitchen

broke. Windows cracked. Glass in picture frames shattered. Every electrical device in the house
that was plugged in sparked and smoke issued from the outlets. A fire started.
Oh, Jenna said, almost casually, clearly more interested in what was going on around
her than in my discovery. She technically knew her father, but if she knew what I knew, how
would that have affected her at this stage in her development? I dont know. I think I remember
mom talking about the house burning down when I was born.
Father? Penny asked.
No- fucking- way, I said.
It is what it is, Penny said.
I wanted to run, but Penny was grounding me. Not holding me in place, but grounding
me. I felt the love radiating from her.
You know what you have to do, dont you, Penny said.
I was silent for a long moment. Not long enough to be aware that the house was burning
around me like the video with Eminem and Rihanna, Love the way you lie, but long enough
that Jenny drew closer to me, touching my back. I think we should leave.
Father? Penny said.
Take your mother to planet Bliss, I told her.
What are you going to do? Penny asked.
I dont know yet, I said, staring at the photo. I looked to Penny. Ill figured it out. Just
take your mother to Bliss, and wait for me.
Penny hugged me. It was just the right thing. I love you would have been too much to
bare. She took Jennas arm and led her through an arch created by the broken glass in the sliding
glass door, through time and space and away from here. I stayed until the smoke and flames were
unbearable. I pushed a bubble around me and shot through the roof and out into space so fast that
the blue of the day sky seemed like a lightening flash. I was in my own bubble, alone, holding a
photo of a half-sister and my father, who, as it so turns out, was also my grandfather. I wont
make you wait for it. Morlon Fribourg was Billy Jack Austin.

Have you ever wondered why space is black? I wonder about things like that all the time. I have
even looked up the answers and know just enough of science to actually understand it, but from a

lay perspective I have also manage to hold just enough imagination that I can mythicize it. I was
close enough to the sun, earths star Sol, that stars were not readily visible. Just like on earth,
you cant see the stars from the day side, you cant see the stars on the day side of the moon, and
you cant see them in orbit until you get an eclipse from moon or earth. I was far enough away
from earth and moon that no eclipse would banish the light so that I might see just how
amazingly full the Universe is, and even if I was away from Sol, the human perspective is just
not sufficient to really take in just how amazing the Universe actually is. The bubble shielded me
from direct sunlight and burning my eyes out. The only sense of tumbling I had was the
movement of sun around my bubble. After a while, I felt like I was drifting to sleep. I told myself
not to sleep, for fear the bubble might break and I would succumb to the death embrace of a
vacuum, mummified by the water boiling out of me, but still, I gave into the sleep that follows an
intense rage.
Fuck it. I wanted to die. Do you realize how messed up my family is? Do you know how
fucked up I am?! Well, of course, you do. Youve been following along, right? Yeah, I was in
self-pity mode. Even if Loxy was here, I doubt she could dig me out of my grave. I was in deep.
And why are you still here? I have to wonder that, too, right? What, someones life is more
fucked up than yours? Thats interesting. Maybe thats why we like watching Game of Thrones
and the Walking dead. No, that cant be it. I write myself into episodes of the Walking Dead
because facing daily eminent death seems to make rational of sense why we do fucked up shit,
plus I can do whatever I want and not worrying about punching a clock to make ends meet.
Maybe thats why were so addicted to the news. News is the exception to the norm that draws
us in. We love fucking drama. But I dont want news and drama; really, I dont. I want stories
about puppies. Puppies were born! If I could make a cable channel, I would make the puppy
channel. All day, every day, nothing but fucking puppies. Puppies playing. Puppies running.
Puppies sleeping. No fucking talking. No commercials. Just nonstop puppies, and maybe some
gentle background music, something reminiscent of light Jazz found in a Charlie Brown episode.
Yeah, someone will say that will never sell, but I bet your ass people would tune into that shit.
Just to get away. For one moment, just to know that there is really nice things out there like
puppies. Yeah, I get it. Dexter and True Blood sells, too. I am not trying to take that away, but if
I want that, I only to have to tune into my own family. Turn the cameras on the puppies and let
some sunshine in.

I fell asleep thinking about puppies. I found myself in a dream. I real dream, not lucid.
Loxy was there. Not LT. Dont ask me how I know the difference. Maybe there really is no
difference just like LT and have been trying to tell me. Maybe there isnt any difference between
real Loxy and Dream Loxy, either. Have you ever dreamed about Loxy? God bless you; that was
the real Loxy blessing your life through your dreams. But for now, she was gracing my dream.
A guitar somewhere began to play. I became aware that I was in a club, front table near
an open space slash stage. A light faded up on Loxy. Clearly my dream was in the sixties, and
Loxy was dressed in appropriate clothes. She started singing nonsense words like ba, ba, ba
bum, as if her voice was a guitar string itself and her mouth movement was exaggerated, the
explosive force of the air moving her lips like she was gasping with sex. It sounded like more
singers than just her alone and my suspicion was soon confirmed, as all of my girls were singing
with Loxy in the lead, but perspective didnt allow me to know everyone was standing behind
Loxy until suddenly she had more hands and arms than an Indian Goddess unwinding from a
lover. This was a mix of sixties and freaky Thai goddess hand gestures, subtle Indian nods, and
Egyptian eye movements. In fact, the make up around the eye made the look like the Eye of
Horus symbol. The guitar intro was hauntingly familiar but clearly extended to accompany the
nonsense words and the seductive dance, positioning the group to clearly support Loxy in her
dominant, spell casting position. They separated in their impromptu worship dance, and then
Loxy started in on the chorus Cherish is the Word, by the Association, while the girls kept up
with the background ba, ba ba ba which was exaggeratedly articulated like bubbles popping,
which was kind of cool and distracting, but still clearly supporting Loxy. This is a stalker level
song, and I was loving it, because I actually felt loved, as if it was all for me, each of them
wanting me. Yeah, it was a crazy kind of love, but maybe I needed this level of crazy to break
through my shields.
Oh, wait. What? You didnt know it was a stalker song? Have you ever listened to the
words? No, really. Just listen to the words: all I wanted was to touch your face your hands and
gaze into your eyes The singer isnt asking for a relationship. He just wants some touch, but
was trying to say it in a nice way, and yet still couldnt hide the fact he worships her from afar,
like a stalker. Need more proof. The lyrics go: you dont know how many times that I wish that
I could mold you into someone who could cherish me as much as I cherish you I am sorry,
but did they say mold or groom?! Come on! Thats some serious stalking shit if I ever heard

it. Still not buying it? Google Cherish is the word/Windy and you will find a melody sung by
my man Barry. Windy, is another stalker song. Really, go listen to the words. The singer is going
around bus stops watching her from a distance and reacting to all the smiles shes giving to other
people. Whos peeking out from under a stairwell? the singer stalker is! Now, all of sudden,
Cherish stalking has a name, and her name is Windy! And no one sells closet stalker better than
Barry, except for maybe David Cassidy, but thats another rant video for another time. And I still
love Barry! I am so not dissing Barry. I am not dissing David, either. I love David. I am sure I
wrote him a fan letter when I was like six, which come to think of it, that letter was border line
sick, gay, child shit and had my mom intercepted it, I would have been buried in the back yard.
Of course, at the time it was innocent enough.
Speaking of Barry, out of nowhere, guess who came up and sat at my table. You do
realize, there is no way to really plan this shit out. I know, you think I am a writer and I am just
having fun stringing words together, and probably have like a grid laid out, and maybe some
dungeon and dragon dice for some of the harder stuff, but some of this shit is just fucking magic
that was it comes together, because had you asked me in the first book how am I going to tie
Barry into the next one, well, I would have admitted I didnt have a clue. The only thing that
could have made this more surreal would be Jimmy joining us. In fact, part of my brain was
entertaining a Jimmy and Barry fight that would rival Peter Griffith and the Chicken fight.
So, you come to strip clubs, often? I asked Barry.
I sing in Vegas, what do you think? Barry asked.
I dont think you want to know what I think, I said.
Ahh, careful with the judgment, son. Youre in a temple. The stones you throw always
fly inwards, Barry said.
Were in a strip club, I corrected.
Temple, strip club, potato, patahto, Barry sang.
I suspect most people would consider this more oranges versus apples, as opposed to
having two different pronunciations for the same object, I said.
There was a time when the harlot was sacred and the fuck she gave was a blessing, a
pathway to heaven and salvation, not to damnation, Barry said.
Give me one source, I said.

The Epic of Gilgamesh, Barry said, motioning for a waitress in a skimpy outfit to bring
him a drink. Enkidu was an animal until the Goddess commanded the priestess Shamhat to fuck
Enkidu, which she did for six days and seven nights, nonstop, uninterrupted, until Enkidus
consciousness was raised from animal to human. And when he finally came inside her, Shamhat
said, You are beautiful, Enkidu, you have become like a god. It was Shamhat, the sacred harlot,
that created humanity, and it has been our desire to reconnect with the Universe through the act
sex that has made us co-creators with the Universe.
I blinked. I so didnt expect all of that from Barry. Dont judge a person by their album
covers. Barry is one smart guy. I am sure he reads Jung and Joseph Campbell just for fun.
Gilgamesh is just a story, I said. Not a credible academic sourced reference.
Both Barry and I had to stop and watch Loxy twirl upside down on a pole, sliding to the
floor. Fuck! Barrys drink arrived, and the waitress put one in front of me, too. Barry got into it
by singing along, that youre driving me out of my mind
Please, dont do that, I interrupted.
But I like this song, Barry said.
Yeah, but she was singing this for me, and then if I hear your male voice in it, it kind of
detracts from, its about me! I said.
You really need to get over this homophobia you got going on, Barry said. It doesnt
mean youre gay if you like my songs.
Can we get back to my rebuttal of your Gilgamesh argument? I asked.
Oh, damn it, Jon. Wake up and smell the alcohol, Barry said. Gilgamesh is a creation
myth, a dramatization. Yes, its a story, and the author would admit as much, but its also replete
with archetypes and offers doorways into the past, and into metaphors, and into abstract
understandings, and it was probably the last bit of Western Literature that truly gave credit to the
Goddess and the priestess as being the epitome of life and the source of all creativity, before
patriarchal societies started clamping down on that shit to keep people in control. What I find
most interesting about Gilgamesh is that it has been plagiarized for tens of thousands of years.
The Moses story? Gilgamesh did it first. The Great Flood? Thats Gilgamesh. The South Park
episode the Simpsons Did It, well, its all Gilgamesh.
Whats your point? I asked.

My point is, if you were to write a story, Jon, reaching into the deepest parts of you,
pulling out darkness and light, and weaving it into a drama, you would be connecting with the
Universe on such a profound level that your life would fundamentally change. But you dont
have to take my word for it. Einstein changed mans understanding of the universe through
creative daydreaming. But you know that. Carl Jung used a process he labeled active
imagination. He got so good at it he was having hallucinations and thought he was going crazy
but it gave him insight into the universal unconsciousness. Napoleon Hill, author of think and
grow rich, offered the invisible counselor technique. But these guys didnt create this. Its in
every spiritual tradition on earth. The Islamic folks call it alam al-mithal or the imaginal
world, and it is just as real and solid as the world you think you live in, if not more real. The
Tibetan Buddhist can call thought forms into real life, because they dont make a distinction
between thought and reality. How else might you explain poltergeist for example? You dont get
a golden ticket to Willy Wonkas chocolate factory or a degree from Safe Haven without
indulging in some mental gymnastics.
I was silent. I still wasnt sure where this was going or how to connect it to anything
relevant. Why was I here? Loxy danced closer to me, her backup singers driving the message
home, and a part of my brain asked, were still in the Cherish song?
Do you know why I sing mostly positive, happy songs? Barry asked.
Because youre a freak? I asked.
Exactly! Barry agreed, slapping the table. Any fool can sing a sad song. Theyre the
easiest songs to sell, because everyone touches grief and so its as easy as selling sex. But to sing
a pathway up to joy, now that takes fucking talent and a gift of voice and the ability to not get
mired down in the shit of life and rise above and get perspective and see there is more, and then,
and this is most important part, you give it in a way that others can touch it and rise with you. It
takes a freak to be special, to see possibilities, to look beyond and to forgive and to love. We are
freaks, Jon.
Thats easy for you to say. You have an entire PR firm that keeps your halo shiny, I
said.
Oh, stop wallowing in this self-pity and go do what you do best, Barry said.
What do I do best?
Magic, Barry said.

A new song started. Loxy was now singing, love will keep us together, originally by
Captain and Tennile, but clearly this had some Indian Bollywood touches, and reminded me of
the Sarah Geronimo, Filipina version.
My table rolled away and the backup singers rolled my chair with me in it into the heart
of the song. Suddenly, I was the center, with Loxy and the girls singing, and then I was prompted
to sing the next chorus, and Barry applauded, and then we were all singing. Loxy was spun away
from me and was caught by Barry and rolled into his arms and I was thinking I was so not happy
that he was holding her, and she flashed him a smile, but he spun her back. The girls pushed my
chair into me and I sat down again and I was spun and when my chair stopped Loxy was in front
of me and kissed me. Like spin the bottle, I was turned and faced another girl, Alish kissed me,
and then another spin and Barry was in front of me and I thanked God, I woke up!
I found myself awake in my own bubble. Determined. I didnt know exactly what I was
going to do. I could go further and say, I didnt even know what needed to be done. And a part of
me was certain I was forgetting something important. But it didnt matter. It was time to act,
even if that meant nothing more than showing up and facing death square on. It was time. I
returned to Earth. I went with a song in my heart, like the movie, Heart and Souls, when Robert
Downey Jr. was singing with his ghost companions, only my companions werent ghost and they
were dancing beside me, in heart, in mind, in spirit, and it was just as real as anything ever was.
Was this what Barry was trying to tell me? I am not alone because I have music and people in
my heart that love me? Why couldnt he just fucking say that?
I heard Glenda say, You wouldnt have believed him.

Chapter 18
You probably were hoping for a montage, maybe me running to get in shape, climbing stairs, or
packing weapons, and preparing for battle, and maybe even getting dressed. If you saw that
montage, tell me how you saw it going down, because I would like to see it, but, sorry, a little
anticlimactic here, I just went through a doorway and arrived where I needed to be. I am not sure
where I was specifically, as in what city, but I found myself at the top of a building, a spacious
open terrace with potted plants, a small pool, and Fribourg pacing and ranting and yelling at his
staff. He actually mentioned me in his rant. Apparently, the clock was ticking and California was
at risk of falling off into the ocean. And, I am pretty sure I was forgetting something else, but I
pushed that feeling down.
Fribourg paused. His hand gestures quieted. He stood a little taller.
So, youre bringing the fight to my home, Fribourg said.
I pursed my lips, not committing. I dont want fight you, I said. I would like to
negotiate.
No! Weve gone over this, Fribourg said. Bring me the big red button, Jack!
The man wearing the Jack-n-the-Box head hat ran and collected the big red button
which rested on pillow.
Fight me, or I will expedite Californias demise, Fribourg said.
Wouldnt you both rather have a bacon burger?
Shut up, Jack! Fribourg snapped, his hand hovering over the button. Whats it going
to be, Jon?
I am going to ask you not to do that, I said.
Thats it? Fribourg asked, his voice at normal volume. Youre just going to ask me not
to do it?
I halfheartedly shrugged. Pretty much, yeah, I said.
You dont care about the millions of people who are going to die? Fribourg said.
Tens of millions, I corrected. Again, I gave an indifferent shrug. I dont really know
them. And I am sure there are a lot of nice folks and I will probably be sad for a moment and I
am sure someone will write a movie dramatizing it and put a face on it to help me grieve, but
hopefully it will be better than San Andreas, because though I like the Rock and all, it was a bit
clich about how the wife left the hero for the rich guy. I mean, I would have bought it a little

better if the rich guy had been more conniving and less cowardly and even better if it turned out
he only broke up the marriage and married Rocks wife to seduce and or rape the daughter, cause
that would have been evil shit right there, justifying his demise, but really, he was just a rich
coward and so his death was not only predictable but anticlimactic and really amoral, with no
true message in it. And since he really wasnt evil, you clearly have to put the responsibility of
the breakup back on Rock because even though he is a hero and would do anything for his
family, he was clearly not doing something or they wouldnt have gotten divorced, and quite
frankly, I get kind skeptical when I see someone of Rocks caliber of strengths and look and he is
pining for the old wife when he could clearly draw in a thousand hot babes, and he has a
helicopter!
Yeah, I kind of agree with that, Fribourg said. There really hasnt been a good bad
guy in a long while.
Except maybe the diamond guy in that James bond flick, I said.
I liked his look, but still, not really evil, Fribourg said. Now, Samuel L Jackson,
reveals someone is at least thinking about a true world, dominating bad guy.
I will give you that, but he was so upstaged by Sofia Boutella, that I really lost sight of
him of him because if he was any whinier he would be a Skywalker, I said.
You were only distracted by Sofia because youre obsessed with women, Fribourg said.
And youre not? I asked.
I could take em or leave em, Fribourg said. Wait, wait, wait, were off target here.
Where was I?
You were about to push the red button, I said.
Ah, yeah, Fribourg said. Attack me and I will spare California.
Im sorry, I just cant attack you, I said.
But, youre carrying a lightsaber, Fribourg pointed out.
Its used for defense only, I said.
Ive seen Jedi attack for less, Fribourg said.
I cant account for the behaviors of other Jedi, I said.
Why want you just attack me?! Fribourg asked.
I have my reasons, I said.
Give me one! Fribourg said.

It would be wrong, I said.

Really? Fribourg asked. Attacking me to save tens of millions doesnt make sense to
you?
Youre approaching this from a utilitarian proposition, that one life over many lives is
an ethical decision, kind of like the Trolley Thought Experiment, where you kill one to save
five, I said.
Fribourg interrupted. So, youre saying you wouldnt push the fat guy off the bridge to
stop the trolley from running over five innocent women and children?
Actually, I have decided to do a Keanu Reeves and push everyone onto the track, I
said.
Fribourg thought about it. Im sorry, I didnt get that one.
I am going to shoot the hostages, I said.
Oh! Speed, yes, got you, Fribourg said, laughing. Jacks mouth was an oh! Clearly,
Jack was following our dialogue closely. I think a bead of sweat rolled down his white face.
Wait, wait, wait, youre going to shoot everyone in California so that I dont push the button?
Oh, better, actually, I said. See, I have been thinking about the world and the
cellphone instant gratification trajectory that society is on and well, psychopathy in general, and I
have come up with this theory that cellphones and social media has made a nation of sociopaths
that only care about how they think and feel and if you dont get on board with their agenda or
agree that they are right, you get ex-friended from facebook and I intend to do away with all of
that because what the people dont know is you derive all of your power from social discord, real
or perceived. Things like racism and political parties died in the sixties. They dont exist
anymore, but the idea of it is kept alive to keep people fighting so no one sees whats really
going on.
And what do you think is going on? Fribourg said, perhaps a little curious, but more
likely stalling me from doing what I was going to do so he can figure out a defense.
Take soap, for example. Theres like what, a hundred products on the shelves? Maybe a
thousand different kinds of soap? But theres only like three soap manufactures in the world. So,
three soap companys making all the soap, but the commercials are all trying to get you to buy
their soap, but it all comes ultimately from the same place! You know how much money would
be saved if they didnt advertise? I bet people would still buy soap. Its kind of a hygiene thing.

Its the same with the news. There is only three new agencies in the whole world. In truth, I think
there is only one company that is supplying all the news and all the products and there is a shell
game going on, and people are being misled and treated badly all to keep the drama going, and I
want to end the drama. There is one company, and its logo is the encapsulated C and R thats on
every product and book and movie.
Youre going to kill the copy right industry? Fribourg asked.
Basically, yeah, I said.
Fribourg laughed. Youre fucking crazy. Racism is real. Political agendas are real. The
Feminist are right, too. Next you will be telling me there is no global warming.
Lets say I buy into the idea that global warming is caused by man, I said. If thats
true, then men can slow it by planting trees. In fact, people are supposed to be smart, right? If
every home owner in the U.S would simply plant pecan trees, we could not only stop global
warming but feed the world at the same time! Why the hell arent the freeways lined with fruit
trees? You know why? Because people would eat for free! And the world cant stand the idea of
someone eating for free. But dont plant trees. Just give Jon Martin his damn super oil tanker
filled with iron shavings, and youll have another ice age.
OMG, Fribourg said, bringing his hands together. He was almost jumping up and down
peeing in his pants kind of excited. Youre going to attack me by giving me an ice age?
No, I said. I think I have been very clear. I am so not going to attack you.
But you just said you were going to shoot the hostages, Fribourg said.
Figuratively, I said.
Stop bantering and just do something! Fribourg said.
I looked at my watch. I already did. Just hang on a moment, I said.
OMG, this is so much like Christmas. I cant stand it, what did you do?! Fribourg
asked.
You know what entrainment is? I asked.
You mean like, when you force a certain number of electrons to face a certain way and
at a certain threshold all of the electrons suddenly face the same way? Fribourg said.
Yeah, I said. I have decided to give everyone in the world exactly what they want,
instant gratification through the acquisition of immediate knowledge. In short, I am going to
make everyone telepathic, simultaneously. No more need for cellphones. If you cant get the

information directly from your neighbors head, you can acquire it through the collective
unconscious.
Fribourg was silent, almost stunned. At first, it looked like he was thinking, thats
fucking genius, followed by a look of envy, like he was wishing he had thought to do that, and
then he realized the ramifications of what would happen if everyone in the world became
telepath in the very same instant.
You cant do that, Fribourg said. Governments couldnt operate. Businesses couldnt
run.
Yeah, just imagine what the world will do to the DeBeers when they find out that
diamonds are as abundant as grains of sand on the beach and that the warehouses that are full of
diamonds arent worth the vaults that hold them, I said. Which will explain why you can buy a
diamond ring at 5k, but can only get fifty dollars for it at the pawn shop.
The entire world economic system will fail! Fribourg said.
Oh, Sir, youre not thinking clearly, I said. The world economic situation is the least
of your concerns. I bet, within 24 hours of the world becoming telepathic, half the worlds
population will be dead from a combination of suicides, homicides, and homicide-suicides.
Why would you do that? Fribourg asked.
I cant fight you, I said. Youre the most powerful magician I have ever known. Even
before I knew you, I use to dream about how one day you might show up and save me from my
wretched life, but, now that I found you and I have discovered you to be just as evil and
scheming as everyone else in my personal family, I am just really tired of it all and want the
games to stop. I think what caused you and mom and me the most harm was all the family
secrets. Maybe if other people had known the degree of abuse we received, there would have
been a timely intervention and we might have actually been spared or healed or loved. I dont
know. But what I do know is the secrets allowed the abuse to continue over generations. It ends
today. No more secrets, Father. Everything is going to be brought to light. Everything.
Why would you do that?! Fribourg exclaimed.
Because I want to know everyone you slept with. I want to know many half siblings I
have, like Thuy and Jenna, I said.
You slept with Jenna? Fribourg asked.
And Thuy, I said.

I dont know a Thuy! Fribourg said.

I looked at my watch. Youre about to.
What have you done?! Fribourg said.
I am opening all the doors and allowing information to flow, like oceans unrestrained by
continents, I said. I am stirring the pot of intimacy, adulterating humanity to such a degree that
there is no more separation between you and me and them. We are one. You will know the pain
you have caused others, real or perceived. You will carry the judgment of others, real or
perceived. Consequently, we also all know love. I am kind of curious what will ultimately will
win out. Love and compassion, or fear and hate. We will be one and will be family and we will
cherish each other for all the good and all the bad and all the indifference, or we will join the
dinosaurs and allow the next species an opportunity to do better. I personally and banking on the
octopus.
Youre fucking insane, Fribourg said. You understand, its not just telepathy. People
will know how to do magic. They will become like Gods! It wasnt an Earthquake that destroyed
Atlantis, it was the war of minds followed by a serendipitous and spontaneous surge in the
collectives ability to shape the world through thought alone.
Some people will heal, some people will teleport, some people will spontaneously
combust, some people will hurl objects, I said. Those who carry hate will rage, those who love
will love, but most will run from fear of others, from fear of themselves, and the world will
fracture into splinters and bubbles and social chasms will form. People will be forced to align
themselves with an authority figure, because there will be no room for mavericks and
independents, and I dare say, very few will be aligning with you when they know you gang raped
my mother, you gang raped Thuys mother, you made yourself younger and married your own
daughter, who I then slept with and fathered a child. So, again, I am curious? How many women
have you raped? How many people have you killed?
Do you suppose you will fare better in this new world order?! Fribourg said. You
think people are going to choose you over me?
Some will choose you, the same way some people choose Darth Vader, I said. If they
choose me they choose me, but I am not looking for a fan club. I suspect I wont live through the
next 24 hours. I am not looking for sympathy. I am not looking for hope or love. I am just

looking for this fight to be done. So, there you have it. You wanted me to fight you, I am fighting
you. I feel the bind you placed on me already loosening. Welcome to the new world order.
I said the last part dramatically, with a flourish of hands. Nothing happened. I looked at
my watch, frowning.
Youre fucking failure, just like your mom, Fribourg said.
Lightening flashed. It was no ordinary lightening. All at once, everything in the world
was illuminated by this strike of lightening, and yet, this was not a physical light, and yet it was
the brightest light one could ever experience. It was sustained and super brilliant, sky blue, so
intense that it removed all shadows, and everyone, asleep or awake on planet earth was
awakened, as if by a trumpet sounding, only there was only silence. It was the unbearably loud
silence that you sometimes hear in a cafeteria when a lull in the collective conversations happen.
It was the kind of quiet that comes when people hold their breaths, waiting for something to
happen. It was probably the longest, collective held breath in the history of breathing, the longest
silence since television and radios were put in every store and mall. Then someone, one person,
laughed. The avalanche of thought noise that followed was deafening. Only magicians of my
caliber that could tune out the noise or otherwise bear the transition to collective turmoil. It was a
deafening roar of all the dams in all the world suddenly disappearing.
Water flowing underground, same as it ever was, same as it ever was Did you ever
wonder, what if the great flood wasnt a physical flood?!
I wish I could describe the chaos that was unfolding across the world. I suppose I could,
but all of that is going in the other book. It wont be written by me. It will not be about me. I
dont even think I am mentioned in it, but it will make Kings horror novels seem like children
stories. It will be the kind of book where, if you had a choice, you would rather be in a onetime
episode of the Walking Dead. Quite frankly making everyone telepathic is an extinction level
event for humanity. Its not just the discovery of all the skeletons, about who cheated with
whom, that was fueling fires. Much of it was the untamed wanting and lusting. You dont want
to be celebrity during a telepathic holocaust. If youre not sure why I say that, imagine for a
moment you are the most attractive, sought after actress in the world. A million guys right now
are watching your videos and jacking off to your image. Now, suddenly, everyone is telepathic
and connected, and their thoughts about you light you up like a Christmas tree with a million
bulbs going off all at once and the tree spontaneously combusts. Yeah, not a pretty sight.

Especially since its not Christmas lights lighting you up and that isnt ectoplasm running down
your face and bleeding out your holes.
In fact, it kind of suddenly makes you feel sympathetic for the Islamic guys who veil
their women, and sympathetic to the Jews wanting to separate the gender during worship
services. Of course, because they have never taken responsibility for their lust, making it the
womens obligation to hide their sexuality, they, too, are in for a world of hurt. If you are
aroused by a womans perfume and you rape her, well, thats a crime, and has nothing to do with
her. If I guy enters and you dont like his cologne or his smell from not bathing and you hit him,
thats a crime, too. If you find someones thought in your head and it arouses you and you send
sex thoughts back and they cant defend and you persist even though they say no, well, that is
mental rape. Some people will rally and defend the weak minded and protect them. Some people
will rally and gang rape the weak. Some people will mentally rape the ones that are raping. And
its not just all mind fucks. There will be physical repercussions in the body, the same way
placebos work, what people believe will come true. Poltergeists will rage across continents.
People who had been psychotic for years will unleash their hallucinations upon the public and
people will run in fear. And unfortunately, the children wont be spared because they will be
watching domestic violence unfold physically and mentally, and will be some of the targets,
because no matter how many voices yell spare the children, upwards of seventy percent of the
adult population dont rats ass about the children, theyre in for themselves, and when this done
playing out, there wont be any kids left because every human still alive will have share a net
mental age of like 14 years old, which is about the average emotional level of the human race,
statistically speaking. Hopefully I am wrong. I am hoping for a collective conscious mental age
of 32, but I am not an optimist by nature.
Some babies will be neglected as adults struggle just to stay standing, so even if they
have mental age of 12, they still cant fend for themselves.
You would think I would be in that book about the end of the world, having made it all
happen, but people were too busy to point blaming fingers. In this world, you will learn quickly
to take responsibility for your own thoughts, or your own thoughts will eat you, chased by others
who are in agreement you are weak chasing after you to beat you into submission with your own
thoughts. Yes, there will be a blurring of that line of where your thoughts and that of others
begins, but that has always been true. And, technically, I am not the one destroying the world.

We are. All I did was accelerate the process, allowing it to move towards its natural conclusion.
And right now, if everyone simply thought about peace and love we could turn this boat around.
And, I was willing to help offer that as a solution, but unfortunately, my father was so pissed that
he attacked me with his own clich, a red lightsaber.
I blocked, and we held our light blades inches from each others face.
I have news for you, Fribourg said, spittal coming out of his mouth from sheer anger.
Youre not left handed? I asked.
Uh? Fribourg asked.
It may be the end of the world as we know it, but we can keep a sense of humor about
it, I said.
Now I forgot what I was going to say, Fribourg said, and pushed and came at me
slashing.
Jacks head exploded. Dont know where that came from. Does anyone even remember
that commercial? I had to tune out the laughter, and grated lettuce rained down like snow. His
chest fell on the pillow carrying the button that sent California sliding into the ocean. All of those
death had an impact on the fighting and it nearly came to a stop as people tried to figure out
where the threat was and why tens of millions of people were suddenly crying out in pain. And
suddenly, I remembered what I had been forgetting all this time. My trooper was still fucking the
biker gang leader. It was probably the one discovery in that neighborhood that got a lot of
laughter and slowed down the self-destruct, even gave a few people pathways out. Man, was his
ass ever sore.
Ugh! Fribourg said. That was my friend from high school! How could you do that to
him?!
He was an ass, I said. He raped women.
Our sword play lulled for a moment, as Fribourg drew back. I dont get it. You wouldnt
attack me because it was wrong, but you had your trooper fuck a guy because that guy fucked
other people?
Sex is sex, I said. Besides, I had to collect a fee by proxy, and well. You know, a
magician always collects.
Fribourg thought about it. Fair enough, he said, and resumed his attack.

Everyone has a sphere of influence. The average person has a heart line radius of ten feet.
Your heart light and thoughts actually radiate out into the Universe at the speed of light, giving
you an effective light touch of how ever long you have been alive. If you have lived forty years,
your light touch as enveloped Alpha Centauri. Just as physical abilities are not distributed
equally, neither are mental and emotional abilities. The strongest telepaths emerged and tried to
take over the world, dividing it into regions. There was one guy, he called himself Dallas, began
soliciting for people to rally around him, offering people protection. The ten superiors in China,
joined forces long enough to take on Dallas. There were several superiors in Russia, Europe, one
Scotland, two Shamans in Columbia stood up to be noticed. It was really kind of disappointing to
hear who was chiming in to try to take command. No one in a position of authority or from a
position of wealth survived to take over, mostly because there previous power based was based
on secrets. Not lies, necessarily, but secrets. And control through manipulation, and people dont
like being controlled and so the backlash when it was discovered was heinous.
Someone began lobbing bombs, real bombs, triggering them and teleporting them at a
distance. The building Fribourg and I were fighting on shook. A nuclear bomb was detonated
over New York. It had a devastating result, which put a lull in the fighting across the planet,
because so many people died that it was the equivalent of being knocked to the ground and
losing multiple limbs making it hard to get back up.
This is all your fault! Fribourg said. I dont even have the strength to teleport away!
The first person to teleport by accident put himself in orbit and was killed instantly. The
information on how to teleport, which is not the same as opening a gateway between worlds, was
now available to the remaining worlds population. People were jumping like rats abandoning a
sinking, burning ship. Most of those people were killed instantly, due to the fact they were
jumping blindly. Some made it to orbit. Some made it as high as the clouds and if they were
lucky, they difference in air pressure rendered them unconscious as they fell back to earth. A few
of the falling teleported a second time, only with their new momentum, where they landed
usually resulted in a bloody mess, like a fly hitting a windshield. One person, who was capable
of remote viewing, figured out if he could see the place before teleporting, he could go there,
even match momentum. His name is worth noting, because he is in the next book. Jesus Garcia.
He was a janitor in a hospital. Not only did he flee to the international space station, where
surprisingly the astronauts were not affected by the happenings on earth, he also brought up the

entire nursery at the hospital where he was working, and saved the two nurses who were trying to
protect the babies in the nursery. China lobbed a nuclear bomb at the space station, trying to kill
Garcia. Garcia saw it, and he disappeared, taking the International Space Station with him.
Dallas announced that Garcia made it to Jupiter, but even there he didnt feel safe, and so he
jumped again, taking the space station and everyone with him to who knows where. He took
himself and his people further than anyone on earth could still detect. And thats all we know at
this juncture.
The nuclear bomb in orbit resulted in an electromagnetic pulse that shut down a gaping
hole in Central Americas electric grid, immobilizing the few cars that were still drivable.
Youve lost, Fribourg, I said. Put down your weapon and I will get you off Earth.
Liar! Fribourg said, raging into the fight, which was some strong hits that drove me
back, but in terms of effectiveness, it wasnt finesse.
Hear my thoughts, Father, I said. I want to save you.
I dont want to be saved! Fribourg snapped.
And in the fight, the truth of his statement will revealed. He didnt want to be saved. But
he didnt want to die, either, because he was afraid of what was awaiting him. I tried pursuing his
fear, but he blocked it well.
Stay out of my head, Jon! Fribourg said, retreating.
Fribourg was distracted enough for me to severe his arm. The hand went one way, the
light saber went the other, and a nuclear bomb appeared in the sky overhead, compliments of
someone in Denver, who thought nuking his own country might buy him favor with China.
Fribourg laughed, it was finally over. I deactivated my lightsaber and sacked Fribourg like a
football player, driving him out and over the pool before we plunged in. We didnt land in the
pool, but instead, landed in the fountain at Safe Haven Square.
We both came up spluttering. My lightsaber was lost somewhere in the fountain. We
struggled over the edge of the fountain and came up standing. Fribourg was gasping for air,
hands on his knees.
Where have you brought us? Fribourg said.
I tossed two spent, magical tokens of return on the ground. You lost, I said. Youre
going to help me box up this nightmare of yours and save Safe Haven!

You fucking moron! You cant box that up! You have no clue what it is, Fribourgs
eyes grew wide, pointing at distant females who were coming our way.
This is your shit, and youre going to box it back up, I demanded.
Jon, thats just it! It was shit. It was shit in my head that purposely removed under
controlled conditions and boxed it up so I and others would be safe! It wasnt supposed to ever
be free! Morlon said. The women were coming at us from all directions. OMG. What have you
done?!
Theyre fellow students. Help me rescue them, I said.
Theyre fucked! Damn it, Jon, once theyve been mind fucked by the creature, theyre
converts, they cant go back, like childhood and puberty, there is no going back, there is no
innocence left to return to, Fribourg said.
Maybe youre not thinking through right. Maybe being sexual is just as innocent as any
other state, I said.
It was clear we were about to be surrounded by glistening, mucus covered females.
Fribourg was about to bolt but I popped a bubble sphere around us and he hit it like hitting the
inside of a snow globe, crying to be let out.
You dont understand, its been chasing me all my life, Fribourg cried. He was in such
a fit that I was suddenly able to track it into his mind.
He was a child, maybe three years old. Something had spooked him and he had run into
his parents room for help. As does happen, the parents were fucking. There was some
confusion, his was mom tied up, and his dad was holding her down hard by the neck and even
though he saw his son, he cursed and finished before he got up and took Morlon back to his
room. Morlon received a light beating and was warned to not come in his parents room again.
After father left, Fribourg got up and turned on the light. Dad returned and finding the light on,
he beat him again. The light went off.
But there is a demon! Morlon insisted.
Fucking grow up and deal with it, then. If its there in the dark, its there in the light, so
get your head out of your ass and fucking deal with it, father said. He pulled the door shut. The
next round of fucking commenced in the background, and the groaning sounded very much like
the sounds the mucus covered sirens were making.

And then I saw it, on the door. A shadow of a demon eating the head off another demon,
played out on the bedroom door. I focused, trying to understand what I was seeing, and followed
the light back to its source. A streetlight. Between the streetlight and the door, at just the right
focus, a squirrel was eating an acorn that was still attached to a branch. I fucking laughed.
Whats so funny?! Fribourg demanded.
You were frightened by a squirrel! I said.
Do they look like squirrels?! Fribourg asked, referring to the woman gathering outside,
wanting to fuck us and hand our heads to the queen tentacle beast.
What I am saying is, you imagined this into being. This means you can make it go away.
And only you can make it go away, I said.
Fuck that, fly us the fuck out of here, Fribourg demanded.
No, were going to face this. Together. Give me your hand, I said.
You cut my hand off, bitch, Fribourg said.
Give me your other hand, bitch, I said.
No! You cant make me, Fribourg said.
I am going to lower the shield and we are going to face this, I said. Its the only way,
Morlon. You cant run from yourself.
I will kill you! Fribourg said, lighting up a ball fire in his remaining hand.
Kill me and the shield definitely goes down, I said.
Fly us out Fribourgs voice trailed off.
I followed his gaze back to the focus. A large, bulbous head creature with many eyes and
tentacles that acted as legs and arms was approaching. I lowered the shield. Fribourg tossed his
fireball at the creature and turned to run, but we were both caught up by the glistening, mucus
covered women. Surprisingly, it was fairly erotic mucus and didnt taste too bad as the sirens
accidentally got in in my mouth as they licked and kissed my face. They were stripping us and
forcing us to lay in the grass. I always knew I would die in a fuck, because once the sensual
activity starts, I find it difficult to say no. In fact, I was fairly certain I would die by the hands of
a jealous husband.
Father, put it back in the box, I said, as the girls clamored over me, fighting to be the
one on top, while the others held my arms and some held my legs.

No, please, dont, stop, Fribourg was saying. Daddy, please, I am sorry, please stop.
OH MY GOD, Im cumming, daddy He had been beaten so hard with a belt that he had an
orgasm, which when the sperm spurted, his father was so disgusted that he whipped him even
more, almost crippling him. Which meant I came from a long line of generational abuse from
both sides of my family. And when you learn this, how can you not hold love and compassion?
There is isnt a class on how to be good parents. There isnt a screening process. You have to
jump through a bunch of hoops to own a gun or drive a car, but who teaches human beings to be
parents? Hell, we dont even teach people to balance a checkbook and get ahead in life, but we
want them to do physics?! Some people dont have the temperament for parenthood, much less
being a half way reasonable adult. Some people just flat shouldnt breed. And if youre one of
those who think bad parents dont exist because its nurturing comes automatically as soon as the
baby pops out, well, youre fucking nuts! You want to know whats natural? Sometimes puppies
get eaten by the mom! A lion will eat the cubs if theyre not his! Sometimes the parents walk
away. And if you think men have a monopoly on cheating, well, more men are raising children
that arent biologically their own than think you know, and the result of finding out range from
mild disinterest in the child to abuse. Yes, there are some wonderful men parents that could care
less if the baby is biologically related. Some of them even know it is isnt theirs and dont say
anything. And I am not picking on the women. If you picked the nice one because he would
provide a stable environment for the child, well thats natural, too.
The creature grabbed him up with a tentacle. And this is where I learned the hard way,
thoughts and feelings continue on after death. Maybe I was hoping he would confront his fear
and change the monster or it change him, which would result in a relationship change that made
the monster kinder, after all this was a magical demon and confrontation is the best way to
handle it. If you ever get a threatening demon in your face, look it dead in the eyes and be as
disinterested as you can. Dont react, except maybe to yawn. Dont try to put meaning on it. Ask
it for its name. Tell him youre not impressed, but if we wants to come back again and hold a
civil conversation, its welcome. Thats how you handle demons; unflinchingly. Maybe I was
hoping it would be over after Fribourg was dead, but I discovered the terror, the thought forms
he created out of misunderstandings, lingered on even after the creator is dead and gone. Maybe
thats why Slender Man continues to keep popping up, because people believe that shit and give
him pathways back into the physical plane. No, not just lingered: thought forms thrive! Makes

you wonder just how long something like Xanadu might linger in the collective unconscious, or
if the Goddess Isis is still there, just waiting for someone to call her. Come to think of it, I could
use a Goddess right now, because I was fucked. Fucked while being fucked, which is the worst
kind of fuck, because youre know youre about to die, but youre not going to stop the fuck until
you cum.
A tentacle fell to my head and caressed me, gently. Was this one of the many faces of the
Indian Goddess Kali, gently caressing me right before she rips my head off and spits out my
skull like a spent cherry pit? It seemed to be waiting for something. I became aware of an
approaching orgasm. I was trying to hold back, but the thrashing of the rider, and the all hands
and tongues against me, pushed me over the brink. OMG, and it was sweet! Thats when tentacle
dislodged the drones and pulled me free from the sirens grasps, pulling me up to its mouth. It
paused. A wind was pulling around the creature. The air was lighter. Debris were flying.
Tentacles were pulled tight by the breeze and the creature was struggling to stay put. It released
me and I flew up into the air, my head impacting a falling tree. I fell out of my body watching as
the world was sucked up, first the atmosphere, then the planet, into the black hole. So, I
remember thinking, this is how it ends. Nice.

Chapter 19
I found myself in a white place. I dont know how I bypassed the tunnel, unless going through
the black hole was the tunnel. I was just glad the falling sensation had stopped, at least, I felt as if
it had stopped. There was no way to perceive that I was falling, or not falling, but, there was a
sense of up-ness and rightness and firmness, even if I couldnt perceive a floor because it was a
perfect whiteness that extended to sky and no detectable horizon, and pushing my hand out into
it was not like pushing into a cloud, but it felt tangible, but no loss of clarity as I extended my
hands and felt for a wall that never came. I realized I wasnt alone and suddenly someone was
before me that didnt seem to be there previously. For all intents and purposes, he was dressed
like a Jedi.
Jon Harister, he said.
Yes, I said as casually and conversationally as if this was and every day sort of thing.
Where am I?
Non sequitur, he said. The question has no relevance. I am here to facilitate a life
review.
Having some limited knowledge of such things, I concluded: Oh, I am dead.
Non sequitur, the Jedi said. There can be no contextual or consensual validity to such
a conclusion. Are you ready to begin?
A life review? I asked.
Affirmative, the Jedi said.
Is it compulsory? I asked.
The Jedi seemed be concerned. I dont understand your reluctance to participate in a
ritual that is necessary for advancement.
I didnt like my life the first time, why would I want to relive it? I asked.
A review is necessary for advancement, the Jedi said.
Is there an alternative? I asked. Like, maybe a GED equivalent to high school that
demonstrates sufficient academic success to allow passage? A multiple choice test?
Again, the Jedi seemed confused. I dont understand your reluctance to participate
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it, you have Aspergers and lack the social nuance to break this
conversation down, I said. So, what are the alternatives to a life review?

Failure to satisfactorily complete a life review will result in amnesia and re-entry to the
physical plain, the Jedi said.
So, I either comply with your wishes to perform a life review, or you will wipe my
memory and make me start over? I asked.
Negative, the Jedi said. Noncompliance with a standard protocol is the equivalent of
your refusal to take responsibility for your participation in life events, which is you choosing to
self-induce amnesia, which results naturally in a rebirth situation.
I blinked. So, youre saying I have no choice but to do a life review? I asked.
I dont understand your reluctance
Are you a moron? I asked.
Non sequitar, the Jedi said. Disparagement does not relieve you of your obligation to
make a choice.
There is no choice here, I said. I do it your way or I get reborn.
You must satisfactorily complete a life review in order to advance
In the iteration, I heard something new. Wait a minute. Even if I complete a life review,
youre saying I could still be reborn?
You must satisfactorily complete
Stop, I said. I am not going to spend an eternity arguing with you.
No sequitur, the Jedi said. There is no argument, and the concept of eternity has no
contextual or consensual validity within the present framework.
I would like to appeal to a higher power, I said.
I have been selected to facilitate the process, the Jedi said.
I want someone else, I said.
I have been selected
Yeah, I get it. I want you to get on your phone or whatever it is you do to access the
chain of command and get your boss over here. No, I demand that you take me straight to the top
boss, no more intermediaries.
Non sequitur, the Jedi said. You are insufficiently evolved to be able to hold
meaningful exchange at that level of interface.
It is my birthright. I demand access to the top, now, I said.

The Jedi bowed. Advance boldly upon the throne, he said, stepping back and sweeping
one arm out.
The whiteness of the present world unfolded like a curtain upon a stage. I couldnt
discern if I was on the stage or in the audience. Maybe there is no distinction, maybe it is both
simultaneously. What I can tell you is that the immensity of the presence, the sheer radiance, the
overwhelming affects from even a casual glance from the entity would drive anyone to their
knees. I fell to the ground and buried my head in my arms and begged mercy. Had I had any
clue, or compassion towards the Jedi facilitator, I would have been more humble and compliant
with the request to engage in normal protocols.
I found myself suddenly four years old, being swept up into the arms of a grandfatherly
like figure, cradling me in arms and lap as he sat down in a rocking chair. I was reminded of the
time that I was crying over a dead goldfish who my mother refused to burry due to the ground
being hard frozen, when it was perfectly acceptable to her to simply flush the tiny carcass down
the drain. I was miserably sad and the grandfather figure was radiating love and assurance that
the world was still okay.
Through tears, I noticed the room was not mine, but it was a childs room with an
underwater theme. Live goldfish swam, or floated, throughout the room, as if we were in a
goldfish bowl. These were all the gold fish that were ever mourned by a child. One might say I
was delusional for me to recognize my own fish, won at a school festival by throwing a ping
pong ball in a cup, but there was Frito looking very content and happy and well fed, even glad
to see me.
Are you God? I asked the man, not looking at his face.
There are so many levels to this, I hardly expect you to understand, the grandfather
answered. But, for the purposes of our conversations, it reasonable for you to accept this
premise. I Am.
Why is the world so fucked up? I asked.
My impertinence and use of profanity was not found offensive. Indeed, if anything,
grandfather radiated a smile, a chuckle moved through me like waves on an ocean, and he patted
my back rhythmically. It might have been Morse code to my soul. Its the lack of filters that
make children so precious. They say what they think, and if this was rewarded, there would be
more mentally stable loving adults in the world. Just ask the Danish people.

It is what it is, said grandfather.

But you can fix it, I said.
Oh, if I had a dollar for every time I heard that, I would be God, he said.
But you are God, I said.
Oh, well, that explains that, then, he said.
Why make disposable people? I asked.
I assure you, when I Am done, no one will be left behind, he said. But certain
conditions have to be met. In fact, I am actually going to utilize your plan for saving everyone.
Not just the homosapiens, but Alishs people, Summers people. I think you will be satisfied with
the results. You wont be the facilitator of the rescue plan, but you will be instrumental in
forging the pathways that come after the plan. You will have purpose. You will be happy.
I dont understand how. I just blew up the Earth, I said. And Loxy is dead. I doubt I
will ever be happy again.
Worry not. I have a plan, grandfather said.
But whats the plan? I asked.
Well, we start with a life review, grandfather said.
How does my life review help everyone else? I asked.
It doesnt. It helps you, grandfather said. I help one person at a time. It just so
happens, I can do one person at a time simultaneously ad infinitum. I assure you. Everyone goes
through the process. We have consensus. Everyone is satisfied with the end results. Almost
everyone. There will always be those who cling to outdated or erroneous modes of thinking, but
that is okay, too. There is space and time enough for even those. Children grow at their own rate.
And I am here telling you, not one human being has lived long enough to be considered an adult.
As species go, youre not even special. But I like you. I am going to keep you. So, if youre
ready, I am going to put you down, and youre going to conduct your life review, and then you
can decide to advance, regress, or simply go play with your friends. There is no wrong decision
here.
So, are you saying that all the wrong I have experience, all the wrong that I have
committed, its all meaningless? I asked.
I have not said that. There are always consequences, grandfather said. But what I am
saying is, by the time you make it to my level of authority and presence of mind, you will not

mind that Morlon Fribourg is sitting at the same table with you, or your mother, or the worst
villain you could ever imagine, because you will also know that I have had a direct hand in their
evolution. Heres the thing, Jon. The fact that you havent had the present level of interaction
with me in your past is a testament to your strength and resilience. Had you needed more, there
would have been an intervention. You would have known my hand in your life. That said, you
were never alone. I heard your prayers, I answered them. I heard the prayers of others for you,
and I answered them. You are safe in my home, in my heart. Now, go run and play.
I slipped off grandfathers lap and headed for the door. The gold fish repositioned
themselves, as if walking with me, shining love. I looked back. I couldnt make out grandfathers
face, but I felt love. He nodded for me to go. I exited the room and found myself back in the
whiteness. The Jedi was there.
May we begin? he asked.
Yes, I said.
He reached out a hand. I took it. I relived my life from cradle to black hole event. There
is too much here to go into, but I came out of this ordeal intact, with even more love and
compassion towards self and others than I imagined was even possible. We were no longer in
whiteness, but in a surreal landscape that was more lusciously green and blue and alive than
anything I have ever experienced on Earth in this life time. I need to insert that, because I was
suddenly aware of previous life times. All the players in my present life were in my past lives in
some form or fashion, with the exception of Loxy. Loxy was new. She had come from
somewhere else, and I expected we would be weaved together for an eternity to follow.
I became aware of a bridge crossing a river. I felt like a terrible decision had to be made,
but I had to make it not knowing which path would expedite me back to Loxy.
You may take the bridge, or you may return, the Jedi offered.
But isnt it all gone? I asked.
I invite you to return and see for yourself, the Jedi said.
But whats across the bridge? I asked.
I am not permitted to speak of the wonders you will encounter in either direction, I can
only inform you that your choice is final, and cant be undone, the Jedi said.
I want to go back, I said. Specifically, I want to go to my planet. Planet Bliss.

The Jedi smiled as if he had known. He let go of my hand. The ground swallowed me, as
if I had fallen through a cloud, and when I broke free I was falling down the length of a tunnel. A
bubble shield formed around me and the descent slowed until I immerged in sky and came to a
halt over second home. With the exception of a scattering of squirrels chattering lively, things
were quiet. I went inside, had a glass of turmeric tea with nutmeg, and retired to the bedroom,
completely exhausted. I lay down, not a care in the world, and went to sleep.

Chapter 20
I woke to Janet prodding me. Jon, Jon, Jon, get up, you got to come see this!
I opened my eyes just enough to reveal I was annoyed. Please, just let me sleep, I said.
No, get up, Janet said.
You would think I would be incredibly happy in a state of euphoria considering what I
had just experienced, but I was actually feeling worse. I should have crossed the bridge, I said,
mournfully.
Well, that would have been really selfish.
That was not Janet. I opened my eyes and saw Loxy standing in the doorway. I bounded
up from the bed, nearly knocking Janet over, grabbed Loxy up and took her to the wall and
pinned her and kissed her.
What the fuck?! Janet asked.
I came back and kissed her. I am sorry. I thought everyone was dead. Everyone at Safe
Haven, everyone on Earth, and I died, and, OMG, I still want to be dead, because, OMG, I said,
sobbing.
Loxy and Janet took me to the bed, sitting beside me and holding me without speaking.
They permitted a moment, but they couldnt allow me to stay here.
Clearly, there is a lot you need to process and I want to help you, but you need to come
outside now, Loxy insisted. Something amazing is going on.
I wiped my eyes and went with them outside. The first thing that was discernable, and
clearly new, was that Harister Hall, in its entirety, was present on planet Bliss. A large group of
people, all the people who Loxy had rescued, were gathered outside the gates, staring up into the
heavens. There was enough star gazing going on that I should have been tempted to look up, but
I turned to Loxy.
I dont understand, I said.
You taught me how to push a bubble shield and I blew it up and saved Harister Hall and
everyone in it, Loxy said.
Really? I asked.
She gave a hand and hip gesture that said, Im here, obviously. Of course, not
everyone is happy about it. There is a reason for the black hole safety protocol, and escaping

Safe Haven with Harister Hall broke with the quarantine procedure, putting the whole Universe
at risk. But, it felt like the right thing to do at the time.
Theres another one! Janet said, pointing at the sky.
Another what? I asked, looking up. All I saw were stars.
Just keep watching, Loxy said.
A new star appeared. Then another. Then a dozen, fired into being in a procession that
formed a new constellation. There was applause and sighs of awe from the crowd.
Whats going on? I asked.
No one knows, Loxy said. But they keep coming.
Cortana? I called out.
Cortana appeared, full body holograph. Good evening, Jon. I assume you have questions
about the ongoing stellar phenomena.
Are we witnessing the birth of new stars, I asked.
Negative, Cortana said. They are not new stars. They are, and they arent. I cant even
speculate what is actually happening, I can only tell you of what I am certain of. Each one of
those stars is Sol.
You mean, a yellow type star that resembles the Earths sun, I said.
Negative. They are each Sol. Sol has a very distinctive stellar fingerprint. Based on what
we know about Sol and its brightness, I can even tell you how far away each of these stars are,
and so far, each new stars appearance seems to confirm a theory I am formulating. Someone has
made copies of Sol and spread them in the local vicinity, and they were all placed
simultaneously, and the reason we are just now see new stars is because it took time for the light
to get to us, Cortana explained.
How many copies are we talking about? Janet asked.
It is impossible to calculate at this juncture, Cortana said. I can only tell you what I
have actually counted. All available telescopes are recording. I have confirmation of planets
around the nearest Sol. Jon. I believe there are multiple Earths in orbit around each star.
Because I was staring up into the sky even as a hundred new stars blinked into existence,
I didnt see Penny Lane approach until she was hugging me.
Father! Penny said. Isnt it amazing?!
Father? Janet asked.

Janet, Loxy, Cortana, Penny Lane. Penny Lane, Loxy, Cortana and Janet, I introduced.
Weve met, Cortana said.
Hey, Penny, Loxy said. I havent seen you in a long time.
You know Penny? I asked.
Yeah, she is a pharmaceutical rep, Loxy said. Always bringing me the latest, greatest
samples. What have you been up to?
Oh, just moonlighting as a recruiter for Safe Haven, Penny said. The travel perks are
amazing!
Thats kind of cool, Loxy said.
Wait a minute, I said. Youre that Penny!
What Penny? Janet asked.
The one that got me into Safe Haven, I said.
I know talent when I see it, Penny said. And, I was right.
Were you? I asked. I just destroyed Earth and technically, if I hadnt banished
Fribourg from Safe Haven, there would still be a Safe Haven.
Oh, dont worry about Safe Haven, Penny said. It will reboot back up at 24 hours
prior to the emergency that shut it down, and someone will be there to keep the box from being
opened. I am not sure how theyre going to deal with the duplicates, though.
Duplicates? Janet asked for me.
Yeah, no one has ever escaped Safe Haven during an emergency quarantine. This is a
precedence, Penny said. So, when Safe Haven reboots, there will be two Loxys and two
everyone here.
Oh, dear, Janet complained. Its not going to be like an evil twin episode, marking the
end of the series, is it?
So, you mean I have to worry if I making love to Loxy A or Loxy B or LT? I asked.
Really, thats the only thing you have to worry about? Janet asked.
I dont think you have to worry. I would never be jealous of myself, Loxy assured me.
In fact, a threesome with myself might be really interesting.
And, why he loves you, Janet said, pushing my mouth closed.

The amount of visible light due to the increasing number of stars became apparent. It was
like being out under the brightest full moon ever. It was as dramatic as someone throwing a
switch.
How many could there be? Janet asked.
Ive lost count, Cortana said. Theres over ten thousand stars, and if we assume
multiple Earths per star, there could be millions of Earths.
And Earth for every culture, for every people.
It was Summer. She was here, alive. And I was even more confused. Terk was with her.
He gave a hand gesture greeting. The Vulcan salute!
Even Earths where dinosaurs still roam, and my people trive, Summer continued.
Were all here. Were all alive. No one was left behind.
I dont understand, I said.
To your scattered bodies go, Loxy said, smiling.
I am sure there is a River World up there somewhere, too, Summer said. Everyone got
brought back at least once. Some more than once, because they were just remarkable people.
Like Sammuel Clemmons. He got brought back the most.
Brought back? Janet said.
Every baby that was ever born, and even some that werent born, were brought back,
and are somewhere on a world being cared for, and raised the way they should have raised,
nurtured for optimum outcome, Summer said. But also, people were brought back as adults,
too, because what you learned and who you became through hardship is also valuable. What
youre looking at up there is the Earth Cluster. A cluster of a million Sols and a billion Earths. It
is the Great Experiment. Humanity has been given a second a chance to shine, to earn a place
within the Universal community. Bliss is the center of the Earth Cluster and your job, Jon, is to
build bridges between all the worlds and all the cultures and unite all of humanity. There is a
world where only the Romans exist. A world where only the Cherokee exist. Some people got
their own worlds all to themselves, some were thrust together for purposes yet unknown. A
world for whales and dolphins, a world for Reptilians. A world for trees and Alishs world. A
world for Furries and human slash non-human types. Hell, we even made a world for Klingons.
A world for every culture and a chance for them to shine, but one culture will transcend them all.
A place where we can all come together, bring the best of all worlds, and that is meant to be

here, on planet Bliss. There might be a thousand years of peace, or there might be wars. People
are hard to predict. But what will be will be confined to the Cluster.
I thought I destroyed it all, I said.
Please, Jon, it wasnt yours to destroy, Summer said. The original Earth, the entirety
of it from cradle to grave, exists, isolated, alone, quarantine not because of illness, or because
defects, but because through preserving of the original, all other branches are derived. If I took
you out of the timeline as an infant, there is no adult you on Earth. But if I removed you as an
adult, all of the previous versions of you still exist for me to rescue. I can save every moment of
you, only if I start from the last of you and work backwards. Only at the end of time, can all of
the elements be deconstructed and plucked out and placed elsewhere. Everyone was brought
back.
Brought back? janet repeated. You keep saying brought back.
Yes. The Earth Cluster, Planet Bliss, exist in a time before Sol was born, before there
was an Earth. The Guardians who helped implement the rescue plan looked forwards in time to a
time when there was no more Earth, and deconstructed it backwards, bringing all the elements
here, in this space and time before time, not only in a galaxy far away, but its own designated
space, Summer said.
He who is last shall be first, and he who is first shall be last, Terk signed.
The world had to end in order to tear it apart and reconstruct it elsewhere, Summer
said. Think of it as a movie strip, and the deconstruction process can only begin with the last
cell. As long as you only remove elements from the last frame and work your way backwards,
you have access to everything that existed in the entire film. And as long you never destroy the
first frame, even if you deconstructed the future frames a dozen times, the original history will
still unwind and remake itself, like a river flowing back into place. All of the original Earth still
contains you, Jon. But somewhere, out there, in this Earth Cluster, there is a 40 year old Jon,
there is a 39 year old Jon, and a 38 year old Jon, every age of you was preserved, Jon, because
you were part of the plan. Not all of you are magicians. Many of you are. And somewhere, there
is a child version of you, who will grow up never to know the abuses that you faced in the
original timeline. And with the entirety of you, there will be consensus. Humanity will have
consensus within itself before advance, or surrender to the night, as nothing more than a dream
as we moved to are next lesson. Somewhere out there, you have a mom who was never abused

and she will be biologically your mom, but she wont have known anything about you and you
can see a version of your mom that would have made you proud to call her mom. Everything is
possible.
Wait wait wait, Janet said. Everyone who was ever alive on earth got brought back?
Every human, a minimum of once, and every species that ever lived on within, or had
somehow been involved with Earth, Summer said.
Even Hitler? Janet asked.
Summer nodded. Do you really think the infant Hitler was evil?
Do you really want to risk it? Janet asked. That will be your first war. People will go
looking for that infant to kill him.
Probably, Summer said. Thats why the infant world has no human adults. The babies
will be raised by trained surrogates, mostly Artificial Intelligence. They will be given new names
and not know their original histories. Everyone will get a minimum of one chance to do it all
over. People, mostly the Indigo Children, have been scattered across the worlds to help people
adapt to what is to come. This will be the era of Guardians of Doors. The GODS will decide
what doors to open and what doors to close. The ultimate goal is to demonstrate we are ready to
join the Others.
The Others? I asked.
The ones who are watching us evolve, Summer said. Not just humanity, but my
people, Alishs people, the humans who werent quite human, but were, like the Furries, the
elementals. Its all coming together just as planned.
Planned, I repeated. So, this isnt the end?
It sounds like its the beginning, Loxy said.
You sound a little disappointed, Father, Penny said.
Im a little overwhelmed, theres a lot to think through, I said.
And time yet to do it, Summer said. You are still my intern.
There were so many stars the night sky was ablaze.
I think we should celebrate, Loxy said.
You mean like with a song and dance? Penny asked.
Exactly! Loxy said. Jon, pick a song. Any song.

Oh, like theres no pressure with that, I complained. Like, ending a series that is also
the beginning of a series, that might be a montage of all the fun and not so fun, or cameo shots of
people who were once antagonist who are really just actors that have been playing bad guys, and
suddenly were just all one happy team that brought you something to entertain you, but also
inspire you that there might hope?
Why not? Loxy asked.
Please dont make it the finale from the Pirate Movie, Janet said.
But thats a great song, I said.
Yeah, but I am still hopeful the Glee cast will do feature Pirate Movie and they will
update some of the humor to include cameos of Johnny Depp, Janet said.
Sounds fair, pick another song, Loxy said.
The only thing thats coming to my head is, Its a Miracle by Barry, I said.
I think I heard Barry yell YES! in the background. And if you listened carefully, you
could intro in the background even as we were debating, as if it were a done deal.
Once the music starts, theres really no stopping it. Evenif it did, your head brain knows
whats coming and will spit the words out even if you dont want it to. You have to go through
the whole song. Loxy clapped first. Pretty soon everyone was clapping. I was going to sing the
lead, but, Barry does it best and I just joined the chorus with Loxy and friends. This would be the
best place to add credits, too. I am sure there are some people that deserve credits. My brain
didnt evolve in isolation and so people deserve to be mentioned. Like Barry, playing himself.
Lucas and Rodenberry get special honors, right? But you shouldnt just tune out yet, because, if
this was a movie, you should know after the credits there is still going to be a scene, maybe like a
hint to drama yet to come. You know there will be drama, right. And fuck it, were still going to
give me a happy ending even if its the song from the Pirate Movie. So there is lots more
places to put in some extra credits.
Oh, but that last scene, me having a coffee and Lester ambles up, sideways. Jon, I just
want to apologize for earlier
Yeah, get the fuck off my planet and dont come back, I said.
Really? he seemed surprised.
I died. I am a graduate. I dont have time for another male magician on my planet,
especially someone who stabs me in the back and steals emerald, I said.

Have it your way, but bear in mind, Sir, this means war, he said.
And he disappears through the door way. A hand emerges from an invisible window to
steal an emerald off a shelf in the back ground but I flick a spell in the direction over my
shoulder and Lester draws his hand in with a yelp. Two Loxys emerged from the bedroom. Are
you coming back to bed?
This would be where I look at the camera and gives you his best Sean Connery smile, and
wonder if I have to even voice it: what do you think?

Authors Notes

So, here it is. A trilogy on magic and sex. It was really interesting putting it together, and
probably the fastest I have done a series, as it was just available, with Loxys help. And there is
definitely more to come. Part of me wants to spend time on earth during the extinction crisis,
kind of a foray into a horror. Part of me wants to spend time in the next book, which I have
already started Everywhere, and All At Once, because Loxy and I arent done. There is so
much more to tell. And, there are side stories in this Universe, outside of the Jon Loxy stories
which I have been working on, but almost needed this series to be written first as collateral
contextual evidence for something strange As if, you have to have context for strange. The
Universe is strange, stranger than you can think, apparently, and, well, who doesnt like some
strange now and then?

I do have a request. Yes, beyond the suitcase with a million dollars in unmarked bills which
might allow me to hire an editor to make reading more enjoyable while simultaneously providing
me more time to write, or sending me that unused box of Legos thats just taking up space in
your garage. If you liked this series, please tell someone about it. Also, hook your friends up
with free-ebook.com. Loxy and I want to do lots more writing, and we will continue to do so
because it is a joy, but we would also like to hear from you, whether thats directly in comments
or letters, or indirectly through a spike in downloads. If this were a youtube channel, I have had
enough total download of all my books that I could retire and just write, but since its not, I am
still trusting the Universe to get me where it needs me to be. But a youtube Loxy channel would
be great. Of course, I would need a great Host, someone better looking than me, so we could
upstage theonlyluca. Maybe talk about sex, and magic, and sex magic, and esoterica and sex.
No, sex doesnt sell. Wait a minute. Did you actually read 50 Shades of Gray?

So, as of now, I leave that there are more books coming, but if we should not meet again, Loxy
and I humbly bow, to you my friends. Enjoy!

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