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Mothering Yourself into Mastery: The

Sovereign Feminine and Your Inner

Bethany Webster

Consistently mothering yourself eventually allows you to release the

need to be small or play small in life.
When we mother the child within ourselves, we are cultivating an inner
environment of safety and unconditional love that we did not experience
in our childhoods. This heals the frozen energy of early trauma and brings
our inner child into the present moment where her purity, innocence,
vitality and creativity can be brought into our daily lives.
With commitment and consistency, we eventually cross a border where
our inner child feels safe enough to sense her inherent abundance that

comes from Being itself. There dawns within you full permission to be
ALL that you are.
In doing so we can experience that sense of inner wealth and
abundance; our bigness and fullness of BEING.

Over time we develop a stable baseline of increased inner safety, which

leads to an abiding and sacred sense of overflowing. There emerges a felt
sense of the infinite love, support and space to be who you are. This
extends to a feeling of infinite love and support from the universe and
from life itself. We begin to see that our very essence is abundance.
The world teaches us to make the outer world primary and the inner world
secondary. But the opposite is true; the inner must be primary for us to
step into our mastery. Mastery means living from the luminous core
within, committing to loving ourselves unconditionally, being
transparent to lesser energies and sustaining a high vibration. A time
arrives when we will not accept anything less than this.

How do we embody the sovereign feminine?

To step into our mastery, we must be increasingly sovereign over
ourselves and our own energy. This means fiercely protecting your inner
child and thus, allowing your inner life to be your priority. Your sovereignty
is what allows you to fully flower and emerge into your full potential.
Everything flows from this commitment. What society sees as selfish
(self-care) is actually an act of great service. Over time, a powerful selfreinforcing cycle gains momentum from your increased self-respect,
integrity and alignment between your inner values and your outer life.
We mother ourselves into mastery.
Many women find themselves vacillating between patterns of deprivation
and binging. The message of deprivation is "If I'm my real, big self, I'll be
rejected. I must stay small." And the message of binging is "I can't help
that I am big! I need soothing from the pain of denying who I am." The
inner mother is the "middle way" and as we consistently soothe ourselves
through our fears and do the necessary grieving, we stop needing to
vacillate between deprivation and binging in terms of food, spending or
other substances/activities.

Recently I was in London and visited Westminster Abbey. During my visit, I

saw an image of the Madonna and Child which struck me with its
simplicity and power.The image conveyed a deeper meaning to me than
ever before. I saw Mary as a symbol of the Sovereign Feminine in men and
women who courageously nurtures the inner child, thereby transforming
the "illegitimate child" within us into the "light of the world." The thought
appeared in my mind: "This is what gives birth to worlds." The integration
of the healed inner child and the conscious, wise adult self culminates as
a new way of Being, a bridge of form and matter, the new earth itself. (See
the image below: The Holy Mother and Divine Child are situated between
two candles; symbolizing the 'middle way' in between the polarities.)

We embody the Goddess when we mother the traumatized child

within ourselves.
As we mother ourselves, a great sense of peace and freedom pervades

and we increasingly release the need for others to change in order to feel
"OK." We can increasingly let others be who they are and release
attachment to being seen accurately by them. This becomes possible
when we've reached a certain point when we can accurately see and
appreciate ourselves enough to let go. We do this by mothering our
traumatized inner children into the safety of the present moment.
We re-parent ourselves in real-time--by feeling the pain of the past
trauma AND any pain of a current situation....by mothering ourselves
on both levels simultaneously.

It is a point of great power to live with awareness of many levels at the

same time; to be aware as the adult in present time and as the inner child,
and also as the formless, divine presence that we are at the deepest level.
Living this way, we operate from a high vibration and positively affect our
The best use of an imperfect childhood is to use your familys
shortcomings to birth your greatness. Your greatness is simply being
more of who you TRULY are at your core. This is the deeper gift available
in the pain of our abuse. This is the true resurrection.
When we discover the light in our deepest pain, we become capable
of seeing it everywhere and in everything. Unity consciousness and

existential belonging become a felt reality.

Being the sovereign feminine is being both tender and fierce.

Allow yourself to be large. Allow yourself to take up space.

Over time, we reach a point where our inner child feels safe enough to
start to let go of the early beliefs that tell us we must be small in order to
be loved. And in doing so, we are increasingly able to experience
increased levels of vitality, wonder, creativity, joy, bliss, excitement,
comfort and the ability to receive more good things in your life.
The inner bond allows you to emotionally separate from the toxic
messages of "less-than" and "stay small" that women receive from
the wider culture.
The need for other people to understand us in order to feel OK
The need to change or modify others to feel loved by them
Tolerating poor treatment from others and blaming ourselves
Feeling guilty for our true desires and feelings
Forgiveness is the felt realization that their behavior was never about

By healing the mother wound and mothering ourselves, it's possible to

genuinely forgive our mothers (and other people) for how they may have
pressured you to stay small. What makes genuine forgiveness possible is
that you begin to realize on a very deep, somatic level that that their
inability to see you had nothing whatsoever to do with you. This is not just
on the conceptual level, but deep in your bones it becomes very obvious
that their hurtful behavior was just a reflection of their own fears and
wounds, which were never your responsibility to fix. A massive weight is
lifted with this realization.
When you realize that your bigness is part of your gifts and part of your
power, you are free to claim it and live it fully!
Your "largeness" is not a liability; it is your inner wealth. It's yours to

Some affirmations:
I now love and accept my bigness
I lovingly accept my big energy and intensity
I lovingly accept my big ability to love
I lovingly accept my big dreams and desires
I lovingly accept my big ability to feel deeply
I lovingly accept my big commitment to truth and authenticity.
I lovingly accept who I am right now.
Accept that your "bigness" is not a rejection of others, nor is it being
superior to others.
Your bigness is simply claiming what you already are, owning it with
joy and bringing it into the world.

The message in the mother wound is that if you claim your bigness, that
you're depriving or abandoning your mother. This belief is a symptom of
enmeshment between mothers and daughters that is so deep in our
culture we're often unaware of it. Stepping out of this enmeshment is
what allows you to claim your power without guilt or apology. You can feel
your right as an individual to live your life on your own terms and know
deep within, that your happiness is not depriving others in any way. This
is honoring your true nature as abundance.
Accept that any defensive attempts of others to knock you down to
size are reflections of how small they feel in their own life. (You can feel
compassion for them and let it go.) Accept that how others feel in your
presence is none of your business. This realization is real when you can
feel the visceral relief in your body. It's a huge shift that liberates you on
many levels.
Your "bigness" does not mean that others are "small." And their
inability to understand that is not your responsibility. Give yourself
permission to stop explaining and apologizing for being your Full Self.

Wow, what freedom! You dont need to take that onl! And you dont need
to disparage others for not seeing you accurately. Its simply where they
are at. You can allow them to be as they are and rest in your center with
integrity and an open heart.
There's a diamond thats always been in your pocket. Claim it now. It's
possible to live your bigness with joy and gratitude! The more your
treasure and cherish yourself, living fully from your inner light, the more it
gives others permission to do the same. What a gift!
Mother yourself until you can feel the exuberant energy of pure joy
that emerges in your daily life when your inner child feels safe
enough within you to bring her sense of PLAY into your daily life!
"I now allow myself to be all that I am and all that I am meant to be."

Allow yourself to embody the full breadth and scope of all that you
To give big
To receive big
To love big
To be loved big
To achieve big
To live big
To serve big
As you claim your inner wealth and overflowing bounty of being, you will
likely experience it's natural byproduct: increased opportunities, loving
relationships, outer wealth and success.
What does it mean to be your full, overflowing self in your daily life?

Giving yourself space to be who you are and loving yourself in this
Knowing that the universe is ultimately friendly no matter the present,
external conditions
Not allowing your inner space to be cluttered with negativity, struggle
or scarcity
Coming from a high level in everything you do. Maintaining a high
Remembering that Being is primary. Make coming from that pure
place of Being a priority in your daily life.
Comforting and nurturing yourself (and your inner child) whenever
you need it. Not putting it off. Keeping yourself feeling loved and
supported always.
Valuing yourself and valuing those you serve in your work. Offering
huge value to others.
Having impeccable boundaries that support you in being your
Highest Self.
Having fun and a bringing a sense of play into your work!
Communicating with clarity and integrity.
Taking care of your body.
Ask for support when you need it and delegate when possible.

Surrendering all doubts and concerns and trusting that all is well.
Please leave a comment below: What are some ways you are
embodying more of the fullness of who you are? What have been your
challenges and breakthroughs with this?
Does this article resonate with you?
I invite you to explore my offerings on healing the mother wound:
Private Coaching
Online Course
Live Workshops
Art credits in order of appearance: Rolf Armstrong, Waldemar Strempler,
Fernand Klnopff, Keith Mallett, Our Lady of Pew at Westminster Abbey,
Sarah Jarrett, Actress Joyce Bryant photographed by Phillippe Halsman in
1954, Akseli Gallen- Kallela, Valeria Kotsareva, Anahata Katkin, Jane
Desrosler, Tamara Natalie Madden, Salvador Dali
Bethany Webster 2014 - 2016