Funny Love Letter

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dearest Ms Juliet,
I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 14th
of October (Sunday). With reference to the meeting held between us on the 27th
of July. at 1500 hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.
Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending
on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probat
ion, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal sche
mes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse.
The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equ
ally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger shar
e of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your
expense account.
I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing
which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be cons
idering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your
sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.
Thanking you in anticipation,
Yours sincerely,
Romeo (HR Executive)

An Interesting Conversation -- Must Read

An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem
science has with God, The Almighty. He asks one of his new students to
stand and.....
Prof : So you believe in God?
Student: Absolutely, sir.
Prof: Is God good?
Student: Sure.
Prof: Is God all-powerful?
Student: Yes.
Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him.
Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't. How
is this God good then? Hmm?
Student is silent.
Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world a
round you. Tell me, son...Have you ever seen God?
Student: No, sir.
Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your God?
Student: No, sir.
Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you eve
r had any sensory perception of God for that matter?
Student: No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.
Prof: Yet you still believe in Him?
Student: Yes.
Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science
says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student: Nothing. I only have my faith.
Prof: Yes Faith. And that is the problem science has. Now the student said can I
ask something to you Professor.
Student: Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Prof: Yes.
Student : And is there such a thing as cold?
Prof: Yes.
Student: No sir. There isn't.
(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)
Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, w
hite heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have anything called cold. We
can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go any further aft
er that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe
the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opp
osite of heat, sir, just the absence of it. (There is pin-drop silence in the le
cture theatre.)
Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as
darkness?
Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?
Student: You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something.
You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light... But
if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn't
it? In reality, darkness isn't. If it were you would be able to make darkness d
arker, wouldn't you?
Prof: So what is the point you are making, young man?
Student: Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how?
Student: Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there
is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the c
oncept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't
even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, m
uch less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is t
o be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death
is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor. Do
you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?
Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of
course, I do.
Student: Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where
the argument is going.)
Student: Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and can
not even prove that this process is an on-going endeavour, are you not teaching
your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?
(The class is in uproar.)
Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?
(The class breaks out into laughter.)
Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it,
touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So,
according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable
protocol, science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect,
sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face
unfathomable. )
Prof: I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.
Student: That is it sir... The link between man & god is FAITH. That is
all that keeps things moving & alive. .
WANT TO KNOW WHO THAT STUDENT WAS?
This is a true story, and the student was none other than
DR. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam
Sardarji on KBC 2
Amitabh : apka 13th question 25 lakh yeh raha apke samne..
Contestant Sardar is tensed.
Amitabh : Who is the father of Abhishek Bachan?
Computer Screen:
A. Amitabh Bachan B. Laloo Prasad Yadav
C. Moh. Azhar D. General Perverz Musharaff.
Amitabh : Apka kya jawab hai ?
(He is quite sure that Sardar will opt for A)
But Sardar is still confused.
Amitabh : Apke pas do life line hai..(50:50 and phone a friend)
Sardar: I think it is A but am not sure.
Amitabh : Not sure... Hmmm Ap kya karna chahenge?
Sardar : I would like to use 50:50?
Amitabh: Ok computer , 2 galat javabo ko mita de..
Computer after deleting two names, leaves two options which are: -
B. Laloo Prasad Yadav.
C. Moh. Azhar.
Amitabh is confused and tensed thinks how come the computer has made this mistak
e But as is said in bollywood the show must go on. Now Sardar is even more confu
sed.
Sardar: I would like to use the last life line phone a friend..
Amitabh : Ap kisko phone karna chahenge?
Sardar : Mein Jaya Bachan ji ko phone karna chahoonga.
Amitabh Bachchan Shocked !!! But the Call gets connected to Jaya Bachchan
Santa Singh: "Jayaji, Who is the father of Abhishek Bachchan!?"
Receiving reply from JAYA, Amitabh Bachan faints..
GUESS WHY?
Scroll Down
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Jaya Bachchan ask's him "What are the options?"

Dont Miss
Q: What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his
examination?
A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I never told them anything."
============ ========= ========= =========
Today a phone without wire is fashion. One day will come when human without brai
n will be a fashion. On that day, my friend, u will Rock..
============ ========= ========= ======
bhikari-sahab ek rupiya de do. Sahab-tumhe sharam nahi aati road par khade hokar
bhikh mangte. Bhikari-abe tere ek rupiye ke liye office kholu kya?
============ ========= ========= =======
Baithe tere khayalo mai,kore kagazpe likha tera nam.Tasvir B
bana dali
or likha us par
yah paigam.
Zinda ya murda,pakdne waleko
Rs.5000 inam
============ ========= ========= =======
"Laziness is our biggest enemy" -Jawaharlal Nehru.
"We should learn to love our enemies"- Mahathma Gandhi.
Which one to follow?... Great confusion.
============ ========= ========= ======
"CELLO "
The pen of india.

"LUX"
The soap of india.

"Amul"
The taste of india.
"I"
The best in india.
"You"
Time waste of india... Smile
============ ========= ========= ========= =
Dad : Son, what do you want for your birthday?
Son : Not much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it.
============ ========= ========= ========
Rules for board exam:
har sawal se dat kar ladna,fekne me kami mat karna,mouka mila to peche be dekhna
,or 1 bat yaad rakhna aagawala ka paper apna samajhna.
============ ========= ========= =========
What is the height of mixed emotions???
when ur mother in law falls from 7th floor on ur mercedes!!!!
============ ========= ========= =========
As by xperience my advice 4u friends- have only one girl friend otherwise ur lif
e will b very sad like me ,1side Aishwarya puling me 4 cinema other side Sania p
ulling me 4 Tennis and kareena keeps sending luv messages 2 me! Silly gals!Wat c
an i do? Hey Wait.I'm getting a call from katrina kaif .
============ ========= ========= =======
Whats
the height
of hope???....

A 99 year old lady going for airtel ka naya lifetime scheme...!!

============ ========= ========= ========= =
Height of Optimism... Soldier: "Sir, we are surrounded by the enemies", SARDAR M
ajor: "Excellent ! We can now attack in any direction" !.
============ ========= ========= ========= =
Guy.-Do u know,wen i was a kid
so many girls wantd to kiss me,i allowed,but
now i want 2 kiss so many girls,but
they dont allow. SELFISH GIRLS (Its my Fav.....)
============ ========= ========= ========= =
U r no of miles away 4m me.Still i'm watching ur evry movements by 3 diff channe
ls
1.DISCOVERY
2.NATIONAL GEOGRAPHICAL 3.ANIMALPLANET
Thanks 2 media.
============ ========= ========= =========
A day will finaly Come when the whole world will celebrate ur personality, ur th
oughts,ur ideas,ur talent,ur smartness
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
That day will be "APRIL 1st".
============ ========= ========= ========= =
Excuse...me what is ur sms account no ? i want to check...some error is there...
kyon ki sms jata to hai par aata nahi hai....
============ ========= ========= ========= =
A Gorgeous Girl walks up 2 Profesor's cabin & says: I'll do anything 2 Pass d Ex
am.
Prof: Anything?
Girl: Ya
Prof: ??
Girl : Ya !!
Prof: Then Go & study...!!
============ ========= ========= =========
There is a small gap between confidence & over confidence.
YOU can kiss your frd is confidence.
ONLY YOU can kiss ur frd is over confidence.. ..
============ ========= ========= =========
Y does Waheeda Rehman never changes her saree in the film GUIDE?
Coz Dev Anand says: O mere humrahi, meri baanh thame chalna, badle duniya SARI,
tum na badalna.

I see women
everywhere gathered around kitchen tables and cooking fires Laughing,
singing, talking, sipping coffee,
tea and guava juice While they erase borders on world maps.
I see women
everywhere cutting their nation's flags into squares, exchanging the pieces,
Then stitching them together into colorful quilts that will keep them warm
While they dream of their new sisters and brothers around the world.
I see women
everywhere turning missile silos into museums, military bases into music camps.
Armored tanks into jungle gyms and rifles into wind chimes,
until... No child goes hungry. No child loses a leg to a landmine,
a mother to an incoming missile, a father to a plane turned bomb. Until...
Children everywhere sleep peacefully at night.

Yahoo! Mail
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Just for Laughs

......................................................................
Two men met while both where looking for their lost wives. .
1st: How yours look like?
2nd: She is 5"7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. What about yours?
1st: Forget mine. Lets find yours!!
**********
......................................................................
Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed. .
.
He shoots his friend to death. .
Wife says, "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends ".
**********

What is the definition of Mistress?

Someone between the Mister and Mattress
**********
Husband asks , "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??
"Without Information Fighting Everytime"
Wife replies," No, It means ,
"With Idiot For Ever !!!"
**********
Three Feelings:
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and
Panic is when both are pregnant.
**********
Teacher: u know the importance of period?
Kid: Ya, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got heart a
ttack & our driver ran away.
**********
Women asked man who is traveling with six children, all these kids are urs ???
No, I work in a condom factory & these are customer complaints .
**********
Sons asks difference between confidence and confidential
Dad says, you are my son, I'm confident. Your friend is also my son, that's conf
idential!
**********
Mother to her teenage daughter: I think this is the right time we should talk ab
out sex.
Daughter (Excitingly ): Sure mom, tell me what do you want to know.
Mother Faints... --

| A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each ot
her the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him
at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to
break the silence (and LOSE)
He wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM " He left it where he k
new she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had mi
ssed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he not
iced a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM . Wake up."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Painful pinch!
As the crowded elevator descended, Banta's wife, Preeto, became increasingly fu
rious with Banta, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous girl.
As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the girl suddenly whirled, slapped Ba
nta, and said, "That will teach you to pinch!"
Bewildered, Banta was halfway to the parking lot with Preeto when he choked, "I.
.. I... didn't pinch that girl."
"Of course you didn't," said Preeto, consolingly, "I did."

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The Suicide Bomber
Banta joins the suicide bomber squad, so when he is given a mission to suicide
in the enemies camp. His leader supply him a lot of weapons and bombs stacked to
his body and mobile for communications.
He lands up in the enemy's camp, called his boss: Sir, there are 2 enemies soldi
er, can I suicide now?
Leader: No, not for two, wait till you see more soldiers.
Banta: Sir now there are 25 can I do it now?
Boss: Wait for more.
Banta: Sir, now I am in a midst of 150 soldiers, can I suicide now?
Boss: Yes, go ahead, you will be a martyr, don't worry about your family, we wil
l look after.
Banta pulls his knife and stabs himself in his chest!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SMS to Laugh
1) Whats the diff between gandhi, musharraf & lalu? gandhi-didnt know whats
lie, musharraf doesnt know whats truth & lalu doesnt know the difference
2) Bindaas sone ka, rapchik sapne dekhne ka, Bhoot se nahi darne ka, bole
to..aaina nahi dekhne ka.. GOOD NITE..

3) Are u a high scoring student?

Bored of gettin gud marks?

join M.S.UNIVERSITY. .
aur fark dekhiye sirf 3 saalon me..
marks se nomarks...
ab sach mein posible!

4) If i wud b a painter u will b my painting. If i wud b a author u will b my

novel. If i wud b a poet u will b my poem but unfortunatly i m a cartoonist

5) "Boyfrnds" r like "Paanipuri" always tasty. "Lovers" r like "Pizzas" hot n

spicy."husbnds" r lik"Dal Chawal"no othr option but good 4 health & wealth.
6) A young man tries to talk to a young girl......., I HAVE SEEN YOU SOMEWHERE,
the girl replied, "QUIET POSSIBLE I AM NURSE IN MENTAL HOSPITAL".

7) Vada to nahi karte dosti nibhayenge, Kosish yahi rahegi apko nahi satayen'ge.
Zaroorat pade to dilse pukarna hame, Hagte bhi rahe to bina dhoye aayen'ge!
Cool Ultimate thought:
if more than one mouse is mice; then more than one spouse is?

SPICE ! Wink

9) What is Marriage?
Ans: 1st yr: Alpenlibe-Ji lalchaye raha na jaye
2yr:TVS-Meelo chalti muskan
3yr:KINETIC- Sabki hawa nikal de
4yr CHLORMINT-Dubara mat puchna!!

10) Teacher-can u define the word lecturer for me student- lecturer is a person
who has a bad habit of speaking when someone is sleeping.

11) Husband to his wife : hey, the phone is ringing. lift it and if it is for me
, tell them that i'm not here.
Wife lifts the phone n tells : my husband is in house only. Husband gets angry n
asks his wife why she told like that.
Then wife replies : oh, the call is for me.

Marriage should be like Fishing

A marriage license should be like a fishing license, it expires every year and
if you go fishing out of state you can get a 3 days license.
If you think about it, girls and fish have a lot in common, they are fun to catc
h and if you clean and prep them right, most are good to eat, also if you decide
to mount one, you know is going to cost you plenty!
If you bring one home (no matter how well you treat them) they start going bad a
nd fresh ones are always better.
Please, practice â⠬ŠCatch and Releaseâ⠬
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa Banta SMS
Titanic was sinking.
An englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards!

Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi
Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalato
rs

How did santa tried to kill a bird??

He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die.

Santa: I have swallowed a kay.

Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.

Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line sai
d: I've seen ur password. It's ****. Santa: U r wrong. It's 1394.

Santa falls in love with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a lov
e letter to her: "I luv u sister."

Santa asked Banta: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?
Banta: Very simple, because he is PM not AM.

Pappu while filling up a form: What should I write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long...!

Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?

Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.

A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.

Santa doesn't turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell
but no one comes out.

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1. What is Common between : Krishna, Ram, Gandhiji & Jesus..?
A: Sardar ji Replied : All are Born on Government Holidays.
2. Ek aadmi ki Biwi gum ho gayi, Waha RAM ke Mandir me gaya, Ram ne kaha Baju wa
le Hanuman Ke Mandir mai ja, Meri bhi usi ne dhundhi thi.
3. Sardar bought a new mobile. He called everyone from his Phone Book & said "My
Mobile No. has changed Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is 6610"
4. Santa : I am a Proud Sardar, My son is in Medical College.
Banta : Really, what is he studing, Santa : No is not studying, they are Studyin
g him.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardarji is in a Quiz Contest ->
1) How long was the 100 yr war?
A) 116 B) 99 C) 100 D) 150
Sardar says "I will skip this"
2) In which month do the Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
A) JANUARY B) SEPTEMBER C) OCTOBER D) NOVEMBER
Sardar asks for help from general public
3) Which of these was King George VI first name?
A) EDER B) ALBERT C) GEORGE D) MANOEL
Sardar asks for lucky cards
4) The Canary islands, in the Pacific Ocean, has its name based on which animal:
A) CANARY BIRD B) KANGAROO C) PUPPY D) RAT #Sardar gives up.
If u think you are indeed clever and laughed at Sardar's replies, then please ch
eck the answers below:
#1) The 100 year war lasted 116 years from 1337-1453
2) The October revolution is celebrated in November
3) King George's first name was Albert. In 1936 he changed his name.
4) Puppy. The Latin name is INSULARIA CANARIA which means islands of the puppies
now tell me who's the dumb one.Don't ever laugh at a Sardar again

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Sardarji proposes to a woman
She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots.
He sets off to Africa and disappears.
Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him k
illing a huge one.
He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims "71st and *AGAIN
* barefeet!"

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FUNNY SMS ............ ....
1. Good looks catch the eyes but Good Personality catches the heart,
You are blessed with both!. FLATTERED?. Don't Be, it was sent to
me, I just wanted you to read it.
2. Shah Jahan Ne Taj Mahal Ki Har Deewar Ko Dekha, Har Meenar Ko
Dekha, Har Kaleen Ko Dekha, Har Khidki Se Dekha... Aur Bola... Maa
Kasam, Bahut Kharcha Ho Gaya !!!
3. Good morning...Have u done two of the most important things when
you wakeup today?
1)Pray, so that u may live...
2)Take a bath-so that others may live too!
4. Can u pronounce good english:- read along woof, roof, loof, shoof,
shoof,woof, loof, roof, poof, woof woof, hoof, woof, roof,
shoof.Test results: U r a good dog. Now stop barking.
5. If u hide, i'll seek 4 u. If u r lost, i'll search 4 u. If u'll
leave, i'll wait 4 u. If days take u away 4m me, i'll fight 4 u.
But, if u stop sending msgs, i'll kill you.
6. Beta bola "papa papa mujhe bandar dekhna hai". Papa bole, "Nahi
bete, abhi nahi". "Papa kyon ?" .......... "Bete abhi bandar SMS
padh raha hai"
7. I saw something in a shop window. It was stunning, cute, simply
adorable. I was supposed 2 buy it 4 u, then I realised it was my
reflection.
8. To live a life, one needs brains, reflex, perception, looks, IQ,
knowledge, way of ______expression & many more mental qualities. Hats
off 2 u coz u manage 2 live without them.
9. Once an angel came up to me & granted me a wish. I asked for "world
peace". That's impossible, he said. Then I asked himto give u
brains. He said "Let me try world peace"
10. Falling in love is a sweet ambition, finding true love is a life
time mission.. Take my word, follow the Pakistani tradition &
marry ur dad's ugly decision.
11. From Mon to Sun, From Jan To Dec, From birth till my death, my
feelings for you have never changed. For me, you've always
been........ ... a headache !
12. 1 day you'll Be srprised to see ME beside YOU. YOU & ME laughing, YOU & ME c
rying, YOU & ME dreaming, YOU & ME holding on, YOU & ME... just YOU & ME sitting
in a MENTAL HOSPITAL & ME CHECKING YOU.
I cannot hide this from you any more. I don't want to hurt you and I
feel it's best if I tell u, before you hear it from someone else
............ Potato Prices Have Gone Up !
13. Maine puchha chand se "dekha hai kahin mere yaar sa hasin", chand
ne kaha "saale itni upar se dikhta hai kya".
14. If u save this msg, it means I'm cute. If u edit this, I'm still
cute. If u fwd this, you are spreading that i'm cute & if u erase
this, you are jealous of me coz i'm cute!
15. Zindagi mein tum bahut aage jaaoge, kyonki jahan bhi tum jaooge,
sab kahenge, chal be chal aage chal.
16. I mixed RUM in water and got drunk. I mixed BRANDY in water and
got drunk. I mixed WHISKY in water and got drunk again. Now I have
decided never to drink water again !!!
17. Dark were those days, without your sight. When I was in darkness,
you gave me light. You gave me strength to make life bright. Thank
you so much PHILIPS TUBELIGHT.

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Click Here To Join: http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/xcitefun/ join

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
No Answers to such Questions

George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk he o
ffers question time. One little boy puts up his hand andGeorge asks him what his
name is.
'Billy.'
'And what is your question, Billy?
'I have 3 questions. First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of t
he UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? And third, wha
tever happened to Osama Bin Laden?'
Just then the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they w
ill continue after recess. When they resume George says, "OK, where were we? Oh
that's right question time. Who has a question?"
Another little boy puts up his hand. George points him out and asks him what his
name is.
'Steve'
'And what is your question, Steve?'
'I have 5 questions. First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of t
he UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? Third, whateve
r happened to Osama Bin Laden? Fourth, why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes
early? And fifth, what the f**k happened to Billy?'

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The Career Choice
 An older couple had a son who was still living with them. The parents were a li
ttle worried, as the son has no career plans, so they decided to do a small test
.
They took a $10 bill, a Bible and a bottle of whiskey, and put them on the front
hall table. Then they hid, pretending they were not at home.
The test was this: If the son took the money, he would be a businessman, if he t
ook the Bible, he would be a priest, but if he took the bottle of whiskey, he wo
uld be a drunk.
So the parents hid in the nearby closet and waited nervously. Peeping through th
e keyhole, they saw their son arrive and read the note they had left him.
Then, he took the $10 bill, looked at it against the light, and slid it in his p
ocket.
After that, he took the Bible, flicked through it, and took it.
Finally he grabbed the bottle, opened it, and took an appreciative whiff to chec
k the quality. Then he left for his room, carrying all three items.
The father slapped his forehead and said, "Darn, it's even worse than I could ev
er have imagined. Our son is going to be a politician!"

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~* ~*~

Want Such Mails in your Inbox? Click here to Join EnjoytheMasti
*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~* ~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*
Q. 1)
Kya cheez ladkiyo ke paas 2 aur gaaye (cow) ke paas 4 hoti hai?
(What organ girls have two but cows have four?)
Q. 2)
Ladkiyo ke kis ang mai ungli daalne se paani nikalta hai?
(which organ of girls gets wet when fingered?)
???

Q. 3)
Ladkiyon ke dono pero ke beech mai kya hota hai?
(What is there in the middle of both legs of girls?)
???
Q. 4)
Ladko ka Kaun sa ang jaroorat ke hisaab se apna size badalta hai?
(Which organ of boys changes size as per required?)
???
Answers:
1) - Legs
2) - Eyes
3) - Knees
4) - Retina (In the Eye
A dead man in jail!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man was sentenced last week to two years in prison for faking his death three
times to beat drunk driving charges.
Peter C. Gentry was first arrested in 1991, but an official looking death certif
icate sent to authorities said he had died in a Los Angeles auto crash, and the
case was dismissed.
In 1994, he was arrested again and sent in another death certificate.
A year later, Gentry was again arrested and supposedly died this time of "denzor
hemorrhagic fever" in Africa.
There is no such disease.

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.

You order what you want then, when you see what the other person has,
you wish you had ordered that.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---

Man: Is there any way for long life?

Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
-
--
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight
begins!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
-
--
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
-
--
It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
-
--
It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as
women and then he turns them into Wives.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
-
----
If u r married please ignore this msg, for everyone else: Happy
Independence Day
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
-
----
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about
something you say.
After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
-
----
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than
electronic banking. It's called marriage.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
-
----
Girlfriends r like chocolates,
taste good anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands r like Dal RICE, eaten when there's no choice.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
-
---
Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
-
----
Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of
Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
-
---
Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
-
---
There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that
he would go through hell for her. They got married and now he is going
thru hell.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
-
----
Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same
offence!

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*
50+ Replies when u propose a girls
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here are the top most reply of a girl, when you propose her...
1) Nahi.................???
2) Chiiiii.....Kitne gande soch hain tumhare.......
3) Maine tumhe sirf ek acche dost ki nazar se dekha hai ....
4) Mera pehle se ek boyfrnd hai....
5 ) Main in baton pe vishwas nahi karti, apne padhai pe dhyaan lagao...
6) tum abhi tak mujhe jaante kahan ho ?Yeh shayad infatuation hai....
7) Tumhara bank balance kitna hai ??
Magar last year to maine tumhe raakhi baandhi thi ..hai naa..bhaiyya..??
9) Mein abhi is relation ke liye mentally prepared nahi hoo....
10) Mein apne dady se pooch ke tumhe kaal answer karu ??
11) Itni si baat kehne ke liye itni der lagaa di??
12) Ye donon ke dil me hai na, to phir kya kehna!!
13) Sorry
14) " Apna chehra kabhi aayine me dekha hai .. L "
15) "Main toh tumhe apna Bhai maanati hu"
16) "Yes .. I too like you (but hope you don't cheat on me ) " (Which we guys mo
st oftenly do )
17) Phele kyon nahi bataya ab tum late ho gaye ..
1 Tum agar pehle mile hote to sochti.
19) Tumhari himmat kaise hui mere baare mein aisa sochne ki (probably followed by
a slap)
20) Girl: mujhe sochna ka wakt do
Guy: kitna wakt???(with hope)
Girl: saat janam
21) Mai ek shaadi shuda ladki hu
22) Mein tumhare chotte bhai se pyaar karti hoon
23) Now that's a real tragedy .
Girl: Hee hee hee hee hee ..hee .hee hee
Hee hee hee hee hee ..hee .hee hee
24) Boy: I love U!
Gal: I don't think abt all this before marriage.
25) Keep loving I don't care.
26) Tum mere liye kya kar sakte ho
27) Kaun sa number hai mera tumhare proposals ki history mein.
Ha ha ha ha .
2 tumhe is nazar se kabhi dekha nahi
29) tumhare barre mein kabhi aisa socha nahi
30) mummy se pooch kar bataungi
31) mere bhaiyya se baat kar lo , who hi tumhe samajhayenge
32) Knyo, Tina ne "No" bola?
33) Lekin tum to Mina ke piche pade the, Kya usne thappad mara?
34) Kitne time ke liye -???
35) Worst one-- Jo bhi bolna hai jaldi bolo mera beta school se aata hoga..
36) Thanks. I love you, too.
37) Boy :- Sonya, I love U ..
Gal :- Sorry , Next 3 Months tak Waiting List chal rahi hai .
3 "What?"
39) "Let's just stay away from this"
40) My friend in college got one classic reply "I THINK I'M ENGAGED"
41) "I think, I will have better options in future ..."
Mujhe tumse is baare mein koi baat nahi karni, then she starts ignoring, phir bh
i nahi
sudhare then she threatens via some common friends.
42) My Boy friend is very short Tempered. Beware of it.
43) like you as a friend but I never thought about us like this cant we be just go
od friends for ever
44) Actually my younger sis likes you a lot. .
45) My mummy does not like your family (if the family knows each other.) ..
46) "Why me?..Tumne mere meih essa kya dekha?..."she wants you to list down all
the Good qualities that you even might have not seen in her. ...
47) SLAP !! ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS....it is said ..
48)hehe I didnt expect that from you....
49)nice joke ...
50)tu ladke kuchh or nahi soch sakte jaha ladki dekhi fisl gaye.....
51)achha tum bhi meine socha sirf harsh,nikhil,ravi, etc etc ko hi mujhme intere
st hai
and then walks on.............
52)tumhe to purpose karna bhi nahi aata paheli bari hai kya koyi baat nahi mein
batati hun...

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~* ~*~

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*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~* ~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*

Ek baar ek aadmi ne badi tapasya ki.

shivji khush .
Prakat hue ...
bole ...
.
.
puttar maang ...
maang kya chahiye tujhey !
bakth utha ...
bole shivji ...
mujhey to aap sirf ek guitar de do !
shivji bole kaisa gadha hai ?
unhone kaha ... puttar ...
tuney badi achchi tapsya ki hai ...
kuch bada maang !
.
.
.
.
wo fir bola ... nahi ji ..mujhey to aap guitar hi do
shivji ne phir samajhaya .. abey .. kuch dhang ka maang ... !
par wo to ada hi hua tha ... bola nahi ... aap to mujhey guitar hi do !
shivji usey bade pyaar se khopch me lekar samjhane lage ! ... bole
..yaar tu
kuch aur maang .. guitar
na maang ...
wo bola ... nahi nahi nahi !! mujhey sirf guitar hi chahiye ... ab
shivji gussey main aa gaye ... boley ,(scroll down)
.
.
.
.
.
Abe Gadhe .. agar guitar mere paas hota to main ye damaru kyo bajata

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~* ~*~

Want Such Mails in your Inbox? Click here to Join EnjoytheMasti
*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~* ~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*
This is very hilarious.. Laughter is the best medicine.....

3+ 3 =8
Bataao Kaise?

Bataao Bataao!
Nahi Pata?!!

Are
Galati se!!!!!!!!!!!

================================================================================
=

Teacher: 'A' for?

Student: Apple !!!
Teacher: Jor se bolo
Student: JAI MATA DI

================================================================================
=

1) Smoking
2) Drinking
3) Charas
4) Ganja
5) Chicken
6) Mutton
7) Oily food
8) Masala
9) Sleep & obesity
10) Pollution
= Heart Attack
Matlab

scrolll down
DUS bahane karke le gaye DIL !!

================================================================================
==

What's the opposite of "Dominoes"???

think
think
think
think
think
tired of thinking???

Well the answer is "Domi doesn't know"

================================================================================
==

Whats the opposite of "Pizza Hut"

.....
.....
...
.......
okei don't kill me "Pizza.... Hutna mat"

================================================================================
==

ok whats the opp of venky's..

venlocks...
(now,now,dont bang ur head plz..)

========================================= ======================================
===

Whats the opposite of Gopalakrishnan?

Comepalakrishnan.

================================================================================
==

What is the opposite of Subramnium Swamy?

Subramanium Didn't See Me.

================================================================================
==

-
one day a man calls his wife from his IDEA mobile his call gets cross
c! onnected to some! other lady.They still keep on talking..they start
liking each other..and finally they get married.
what MORAL do u get???
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
....
An IDEA can change y! our wife.

================================================================================
==

A sardarji went to a STD/ISD/PCO SHOP and slapped the operator twice.

:-(
Guess why ?
because there it was written "Number dial karne se pehele do lagae"

================================================================================
=

ek haathi agar swimming pool mein gir gaya to kaise bahar

nikalega???????
..........
..........
think
......
think....
........
........
........
.........
.........
.........
.........
geela ho ke nikalega......

================================================================================
==

ek aadmi marne vala hei to use kya khilaoge .......

sweets nops
sault nopes
think
think

are yaar
birla white cement
kyunki iske ander jaan hei.......
================================================================================
==

whats difference between a man jumping from 1st floor and a man
jumping from 10th floor?
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
former goes (hit) aaaaaaaaa
later goes aaaaaaaaa (hit)

================================================================================
==

Other than being fruits, what is common between an Apple and an

Orange ?

think......
.............
.............
.............
.............
.............
.............
.............
.............
.............
.............
.............
.............
.............
socho socho
.............
.............
.............
.............
.............
.............
.............
.............
.............
.............
the answer is ..........
They Both Are Not a Banana !!
Monkey business
*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~* ~*~
*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~* ~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*
Once in America a plane crashed, only a monkey who was traveling in the plane wa
s left alive. Fortunately the monkey was intelligent enough to understand our la
nguage and reply in actions. The officials went to see the monkey in the hospita
l and had a talk with the monkey.
Officer: "When the plane took off what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Tying their belts"
Officer: "What were the airhostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Saying Hello! Good morning!"
Officer: "What were the pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Checking the system"
Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: "Looking for my people"
Officer: "After 10' minutes what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Having beverages and snacks"
Officer: "What were the airhostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Serving the travelers"
Officer: "What were the Pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the steering"
Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: "Eating & throwing"
Officer: "After 30 minutes what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Some were sleeping and some were reading"
Officer: "What were the airhostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Make up"
Officer: "What were the pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the steering"
Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: "Nothing"
Officer: "Just before plane crash what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "All were sleeping"
Officer: "What were the pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the air hostess"
Officer: What were you doing?
Monkey: Handling the steering!!!! !

No more Questions!!! !!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!

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*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~* ~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*

This is quite interesting. ...

Letters 'a', ' b', 'c' &'d' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of
numbers 1 to 99 (Letter'd' comes for the first time in Hundred)

Letters 'a', ' b' & 'c' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of
numbers 1 to 999 (Letter ' a' comes for the first time in thousand)

Letters 'b' & ' c' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of numbers 1
to 999,999,999 (Letter ' b ' comes for the first time in Billion)

And Letter 'c' does not appear anywhere in the spellings of entire
English number Counting

The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called a
family meeting.

Dad: People this is unacceptable. You have to limit the use of the
phone.
I do not use this phone; I use the one at the office.

Mom: Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work
telephone

Son: Me too, I never use the home phone. I always use my company mobile

Maid: So what is the problem? We all use our work telephones.

1. Easy Ways To Die......... ......... ......... .

a. Take a Cigar daily - You will die 10 years early.
b . Drink Rum daily - You will die30 years early.
C. Love someone truly - You will die daily.

2. A foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her
that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED .

3. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption:

Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD After Marriage - Drink
whenever you are HAPPY

4. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their
friends.

5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best
Woman.
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.
Moral: BE SPECIFIC

6 . If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in
your life. If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in
your life.

7. Question: When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE?

Answer: On their MARRIAGE
An elephant has 5 bananas and it is hungry, but yet it does not eat
the bananas. Why ?

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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.
.
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.
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.
.

Because the bananas are made of plastic.

Next.Q

The 5 bananas are real , but yet the elephant does not eat it. Why?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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.
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.
.
.
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.
.
Because the elephant is made of plastic.
Hahhaa.never give up.one more..

Both the elephant and the bananas are real, but yet it cannot eat it.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Why ?
.
.
.
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.
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Because the bananas are in the TV.
Ooops!!! Cool down.

Both the elephant and the bananas are real and in the TV, but yet it
cannot eat it. Why?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,.
.
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.
.
.
.
Because they are on different channels.
Hohohohoohohoh. ...
hehehe

Both the elephant and the bananas are real and in the TV and on the
same channel, but yet it cannot eat it. Why?
.
.
.
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.

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.
.
Cmon think ..
.
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..
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Because the TV is off.

Now Finally the Elephant gets a chance to eat the bananas.Why?

why the hell do u think so much...let that poor animal have some food....n u get
back to your work ...heheheh !!!!!!!!

FASTEST THING IN THE WORLD

Four guys, from Harvard, Yale, MIT and SANTA SINGH from Punjab University were t
o be interviewed for a prestigious job. One common question was asked to all 4 o
f them.
INTERVIEWER: WHICH IS THE FASTEST THING IN THE WORLD?

1. YALE guy: Its light, Nothing can travel faster than light.

2. HARVARD Guy: It's the Thought; b'cos thought is so fast it comes instantly
in your mind.
3. MIT guy: Its Blink, you can blink and its hard to realize you blinked

4. SANTA SINGH: Its Loose motion

INTERVIEWER: (Shocked to hear Santa's reply, asked) "WHY"?
SANTA SINGH: Last night after dinner, I was lying in my bed and I got the worst
stomach cramps, and before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHTS, it was o
ver!!!!