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Our

OurChildren
About

FEDERATION HOSTS INTERFAITH DAY FOR KIDS page 8


MASORTI STUDENT POWER AT RUTGERS page 12
AT JOFA CONFERENCE, O STANDS FOR OVERFLOW page 14
ROCKLAND: A FIELD TRIP TO RIVERDALE page 18
TIMELY LESSONS FROM WHERE THE JEWS ARENT page 48

Useful Information
for the Next Generation
of Jewish Families

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A SUPPLEMENT TO THE JEWISH STANDARD WINTER 2017

A Camping
We Will Go

JANUARY 27, 2017


VOL. LXXXVI NO. 17 $1.00

Weight No More
Grandparents Go to School
Supplement to The Jewish Standard February 2017

NORTH JERSEY

THEJEWISHSTANDARD.COM

Drama
queen
How Deborah Roberts
makes theater magic at the
Kaplen JCC on the Palisades
page 26

86

2017
7

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Page 3
#WeRemember

Shoes of art from Israel


l These shoes are not for walking.
A Walk of Art: Visionary Shoes
showcases more than 60 unique shoe
designs by current or former students
of Jerusalems Bezalel Academy of Art
and Design. The exhibit runs through
February 13 at the Parasol Projects Gallery, 208 Bowery in Lower Manhattan.
The shoes draw inspiration from
sources as diverse as Jewish mourning
customs, medieval armor, Pink Floyds
Dark Side of the Moon album cover,
the sound made by flip-flop sandals,
and the board game Jenga.
And of course, the German Bauhaus
movement. In Hannah Zingers design,
the toes and heels are carved from
wooden blocks and the middle is left as
an empty space.

l More than 200,000 people from


around the world have posted photos of themselves on social media
holding signs saying We Remember in dozens of languages before
this weeks International Holocaust
Remembrance Day. The day is
marked each year on January 27,
the anniversary of the liberation of
Auschwitz.
The social media campaign was
launched by the World Jewish Congress two weeks ago. The photos
have been uploaded on Facebook,
Instagram, and Twitter, using the
hashtag #WeRemember.
Many Holocaust survivors have
posted their photos, and so have
actors, politicians, and world leaders. Dignitaries include U.S. Senator
Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.), Albanian
Foreign Minister Ditmir Bushati, and
members of the European Union
Commission.
Children in Pakistan and three
generations of a family in Bolivia also
participated.
Anti-Semitism is more prevalent
today than it has been at any time
since World War II, and bigotry and
discrimination still rear their ugly
heads all around the world. This is
why we all must declare, together,
that we remember, World Jewish

JOSEFIN DOLSTEN/JTA WIRE SERVICE

Congress CEO Robert Singer said in


a statement.
The goal is to reach those who
dont know much about the Holocaust, or who might be susceptible
to those who deny it entirely, and to
remind the world that such horrors
could happen again. Using the tools
of social media we hope to engage
the next generation, because, soon,
it will be their responsibility to tell
the story and ensure that humanity
never forgets, Singer added.
Other participants include schoolchildren in a Holocaust history class
in Rwanda, Holocaust survivors in
Lithuania, an imam in France, the
president of the Central Council of
Muslims in Germany, as well as others in Ghana, Morocco, Fiji, Uruguay,
Chile, Latvia, Germany Kazakhstan,
Canada, the United States, and other
countries. Israeli politicians also
participated, including President Reuven Rivlin, Prime Minister Benjamin
Netanyahu, Defense Minister Avigdor Lieberman, and lawmakers Yair
Lapid and Isaac Herzog.
JTA WIRE SERVICE

Candlelighting: Friday, January 27, 4:49 p.m.


Shabbat ends: Saturday, January 28, 5:52 p.m.

SpaceIL keeps eyes on moon prize


l And then there were five.
Just about a year ago, we wrote
about SpaceIL. Thats the Israeli project
to launch a spaceship that would land
on the moon, hop a quarter of a mile,
send back photos from the lunar surface, and claim a $20 million prize put
up by Google.
At the time, SpaceIL was one of 16
contenders.
This week, Google reported that only
five teams remain in the running after
the others failed to secure launch contracts by the end of 2016. One of them
is SpaceIL.
Joining SpaceIL in the new space
race are teams from the United States,
India, and Japan, and one that is international. SpaceIL plans to launch

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call 201-837-8818 or bit.ly/jsubscribe

CONTENTS

aboard a SpaceX Falcon 9 rocket in


the second half of this year. SpaceX
is the rocket company owned by U.S.
billionaire Elon Musk. The Falcon 9 has
mastered the art of returning to earth
standing upright except for the times
LARRY YUDELSON
when it explodes first.

NOSHES4
BRIEFLY LOCAL16
ROCKLAND 18
SUPER BOWL 22
COVER STORY 26
JEWISH WORLD....................................... 31
OPINION 42
DVAR TORAH 47
ARTS & CULTURE48
CALENDAR49
CROSSWORD PUZZLE 51
OBITUARIES 52
CLASSIFIEDS54
GALLERY 56
REAL ESTATE 57

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editorial, and graphic material will be treated as unconditionally
assigned for publication and copyright purposes and subject to
JEWISHSTANDARDs unrestricted right to edit and to comment
editorially. Nothing may be reprinted in whole or in part without
written permission from the publisher. 2017

JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017 3

Noshes

Its hard enough to cast your independent


film when youre not submerged
without clothes in steamy waters.
Filmmaker Joshua Weinstein, describing his efforts to recruit chasidic actors
for his Yiddish-language film Menashe, which debuted at Sundance this week.

KEEP IT ICED:

Several good skates


represent the Tribe
The NHL season,
of course, has
been ongoing
since October but now
I finally have a chance to
clue you into the Jews on
ice. There are three Jews
playing in the NHL this
year, and two others with
some Jewish ancestry;
unlike some journalists,
however, I wouldnt call
them Jewish. In the latter
group, theres Washingtons Andre Burakovsky,
a left wing, and Jason
Demers, a Florida
defenseman.
In the former
group, theres DAVID
WARSOFSKY, 25, a
defenseman who has
bounced between the
NHL and the minors for
three seasons. This year,
Warsofsky has played six
games (so far) for Pittsburgh. JASON ZUCKER,
24, so far, is doing much
better. Hes a good forward who has solidified
his place on the Minnesota roster in the last
two years. Last, but not
least, is ZACH HYMAN,
24, a Toronto left winger.
He joined Toronto at the
end of last season and
is doing fine this season. He won just about
every athletic related
award the University of
Michigan could give him,
and he was an academic
all-American. Fun fact:

Hes a best selling childrens book author. He


has two books out so
far, including one about
Babe Ruth. Hes recently
signed a new two-book
deal with Penguin.
Finally, let me mention
the aptly named DANIEL
BRAVERMAN, 23, a
Western Michigan (football) wide receiver who
defied the odds (seventh
round draft pick) and
made the Chicago Bears
active roster on November 25 and played three
games before the Bears
season ended. Hes only
5-foot-10 and a practicing Jew both rare
things in the NFL. Last
April, Sports Illustrated
profiled him. He grew up
in a normal but pretty
secular South Florida
Jewish home. Then,
when he was about 10
years old, his mother left
home without warning or explanation and
never returned. Daniel
eventually found solace
in Judaism, and with the
aid of a religious uncle,
studied and had a bar
mitzvah at 15 (the guests
were only his rabbi and
his uncle). Daniel continued to practice in the
years to follow.
He told SI: You know
they say a Jewish person
can never really forget
his faith. It always sticks

David Warsofsky

Jason Zucker
Vera Cooper Rubin

Scientist invoked
a religious ethic

Daniel Braverman

Idina Menzel

with you. No matter how


hard you try or want to
forget about God, youre
always reminded of being Jewish.
Last Saturday,
January 21, the
Lifetime cable
channel premiered its
original remake of
Beaches, the 1988 hit
film which starred
BETTE MIDLER, now 71,
and BARBARA HERSHEY, now 68. You can
easily catch an encore
performance on Lifetime or Lifetime on
demand.
Reviews have ranged
from tepid to mildly
good. However, everybody says that IDINA

MENZEL, 45, who


plays Jewish singer C.
C. Bloom as an adult,
knocks it out of the ballpark with her rendition
of the movies hit song,
Youre the Wind Beneath My Wings. Fortunately, you dont have to
watch the remake to hear
Menzel sing the song.
Simply enter the song
title and Idina Menzel
on YouTube and the entire song scene (Menzel
in character, in studio)
can be seen. Personally, I
preferred Midlers version
of the song. Menzel may
be a better singer, but
Midler has better dramatic chops.

Want to read more noshes? Visit facebook.com/jewishstandard

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N.B.

Most media outlets noted the death, on December


25, of astronomer VERA COOPER RUBIN, at 88. Most
stuck to the science side of her life, including the N.Y.
Times obit, which said: She transformed modern physics and astronomy with her observations showing that
galaxies and stars are immersed in the gravitational grip
of vast clouds of dark matter. Her work helped usher
in a Copernican-scale change in cosmic consciousness,
namely the realization that what astronomers always saw
and thought was the universe is just the visible tip of a
lumbering iceberg of mystery.
For years her work on how galaxies rotate was not
taken seriously but eventually it was accepted and she
was much honored. This work was important, too, in the
study of the still-incompletely understood phenomena
called dark matter.
Cooper was an Anglicization of her fathers original last name he was a Lithuanian immigrant named
PESACH KOBCHEFSKI. Her husband of 40 years,
who predeceased her, was chemist ROBERT RUBIN.
Together, they had three sons and a daughter, all of whom
earned doctorates in the sciences.
About her faith, she said: In my own life, my science
and my religion are separate. Im Jewish, and so religion
to me is a kind of moral code and a kind of history. I try to
do my science in a moral way, and, I believe that, ideally,
science should be looked upon as something that helps us
N.B.
understand our role in the universe.
California-based Nate Bloom can be reached at
Middleoftheroad1@aol.com

Discover.
benzelbusch.com
1/5/17 3:30 PM

JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017 5

Local
Ethnic diversity
Daniel Mutlu, Reform cantor with Turkish roots, to sing in Tenafly
opening at Temple Emanuel. Since I was still
a student, I became a student cantor.
oes it make sense that the creator
Cantor Mutlu went on to work in Rye, N.Y.,
of a Beatles Shabbat went to an
and then at Congregation Beth Israel in Houston, where he has been since 2011. He and his
Orthodox yeshiva for nine years?
He did, and it does, says
wife, Nina, have three children, who are 7, 4,
Cantor Daniel Mutlu, whose rock service
and 2.
will come to Temple Sinai in Tenafly on
Back to Tenafly, or more accurately, to
February 3.
the cantors relationship with Rabbi MillBoth my parents were born in Istanbul,
stein, which began in Worcester. The back
said Cantor Mutlu, who was born in Worcesstory is that in Worcester, we he and
ter, Mass. Moiz and Dora met here, married,
Rabbi Millstein created the idea of a tefillah band, instrumentalists accompanying
and had six children. They decided to send
the cantor and the liturgy. We did that once
us to a Chabad Lubavitch yeshiva. It was the
a month. Now and then we used a special
best deal in town, and they wanted their children to have a Jewish education even though
rock Shabbat, to ramp it up even more. That
they were not that observant.
involved more contemporary melodies and
Cantor Mutlus surname means happy
instruments.
or proud. When his grandfather fled RusCantor Mutlu did his first Beatles service
sia during the revolution, he explained, he
in Houston. While it was well received, he
Cantor Daniel Mutlu
found himself in Turkey, which was
acknowledges that its not for everyone
more hospitable to Jews. It was,
and not for every congregation. You have
however, the practice that everyone
to know what works where.
had to have a Turkish name. So, he
Why a rock service? This is the music
said, Maislin became Mutlu. Both
and sounds and instrumentation we grew
Cantor Mutlus parents have Ashkeup with and they resonate with us in daily
nazi and Sephardi ancestors.
life, he said. These days, its important to
I was a little troublemaker at
bring those shared, accessible things into
school, said Cantor Mutlu, who will
synagogue. It makes the Hebrew text that
become senior cantor at Central Synmuch more accessible.
agogue in Manhattan in July. Having
But theres a time and place for everything, and its the job of a cantor to choose
parents who were not observant led
Cantor Nitza Shamah
Cantor Jordan Millstein
the appropriate time and melody. The Beato some confusion and a disconnect.
tles Shabbat is just one tool in a cantors
But not in a bad way. I began asking
arsenal of ways to bring the congregation in.
that I could become a cantor.
questions, which is good.
For his part, Rabbi Millstein whose conIf the mixing of his two passions seems
The Lubavitch experience was great, he
gregation holds a rock Shabbat once a month
inevitable, so too is the fact that he now is
continued. I learned to read Hebrew and to
is excited about his old friends visit. He
coming to visit Tenafly.
love studying text and also developed a love
recalls his first meeting in Worcester with the
My grandfather lived across the street
for communal worship and davening. Singing was a big part of what they did. Gradunow-cantor.
from Temple Emanuel in Worcester then
ating from the yeshiva after eighth grade, he
It was August, and the High Holidays were
headed by Rabbi Jordan Millstein, now the
went to a public high school and suddenly
approaching, he said. Our cantor came and
religious leader of Temple Sinai in Tenafly
my Jewish world was gone. Left, as he said,
said, We have a young guy, a tenor, in the
and would go every morning for minyan.
to fend for himself, I stumbled upon music
quartet and hes Jewish. That was extremely
Apparently, his grandfather misheard an
in high school. He originally wanted to take
surprising. He knew of no professional Jewannouncement and thought the congregation was looking for a new cantor. His grandish singers in the area. I came up to the choir
computer programming but there were no
son had just graduated from the conservatory
to meet him. He was all of 22.
courses available. The only class available
and he thought this would be a perfect fit.
The young singer and his girlfriend, who
was music theory, he said.
He called their office every day talking
also had graduated from the New England
Not quite knowing what music theory was,
about me, until the cantor there called me
Conservatory, began coming to the synaDaniel said hed try it and loved it. It began
gogue more often. Nina, who was not Jewish
and said to tell my grandfather to stop calla love affair with music. I joined the choir,
ing, because they werent looking for a new
then, got interested in Judaism and wanted
sang in school musicals, and even tried out
cantor. They were looking for a soloist for
to work toward conversion. Rabbi Millstein
for district competitions.
their High Holiday quartet. I said I would try
worked with her, performed the couples
Then, during his last year of high school,
out. He auditioned and was accepted. The
wedding ceremony, and encouraged Daniel
his parents and three of his siblings moved
synagogues cantor at the time, Betsy Peters
Mutlu to attend cantorial school, sending him
to Israel. My dad had lost his job and was
Epstein, explained to him what being a canwith a recommendation to HUC.
having a hard time. He got an offer from IBM
tor entailed.
As a student, he came up every weekin Israel. Cantor Mutlu visited his family
end and was our cantor, Rabbi Millstein
I sang at Temple Emanuel for couple of
in Israel many times during his senior year
said. We had an incredible experience
years while preparing for cantorial school
and then later, while he was studying at the
together. He looks back on his role as Canat Hebrew Union College, which requires that
New England Conservatory of Music in Boston. Through those visits, I got a chance to
tor Mutlus mentor with pride. We were
students spend their first year in Israel. After
reconnect with Judaism. It dawned on me
so blessed to have someone with that kind
my year in Israel I heard there was really an

LOIS GOLDRICH

6 JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017

of ability.
Their friendship led to Cantor Mutlus
upcoming visit. And with Temple Sinais
monthly rock service and the cantors already
prepared Beatles Shabbat, this was perfect.
Sinais monthly rock service has been really
successful, Rabbi Millstein said. The instrumentalists are synagogue members, all volunteers, led by the cantor, Nitza Shamah.
Its not hard rock, but more like folk rock,
Rabbi Millstein said. People love it. The
core members of the band, which includes
synagogue leaders, had their own rock cover
band. Theyre really good. Theyve been
playing for years. The service is preceded by
a free dinner prepared by synagogue volunteers, who shop for, cook, and serve it.
Rabbi Millstein, who said hes more of a fan
than a musician, pointed out that the band
also does Sinai Sessions, when we turn the
temple into a nightclub for a night. Its intergenerational, and both men and women. Its
the idiom people relate to, and it really has
been very effective.
Temple Sinais Cantor Nitza, as she is
known, said, were actually blessed to
have this amazing band all temple members working together on a regular basis.
Theyre very good. While all the band
members have careers outside music, she
said, music remains extremely important
in their lives. Instruments include keyboard, percussion, guitar, violin, and the
occasional sax or flute, depending on
who is available. They vary each month,
she said. The group includes between 10
and 12 members. Sometimes we bring in
a guest. Weve had Joshua Nelson twice.
Well start rehearsing this week with
prayers set to Beatles music.
Rock services are very upbeat and open
the hearts of attendees, Cantor Shamah
added. They invite participation. People
start to know the music, but we also put in
something new and exciting. We look at the
Torah portion and the band comes up with
an American song that fits the theme of the
parsha. We ask the rabbi for a dvar Torah
tying the portion into the song.
Who: Cantor Daniel Mutlu
What: Will lead a Beatles Shabbat
When: On February 3 at 7:30 p.m.
Where: At Temple Sinai, 1 Engle St.,
Tenafly.
You should also know: The service
is free and open to the public. The
kosher-style meal preceding the service is free as well, but reservations are
required. The dinner is served at 6:15.
For reservations or more information:
Call the synagogue, (201) 568-3035.

Local

A. I cant tell you. Q. Who won?


YU student from Teaneck is on Jeopardy! and he cant tell you what happened
ABIGAIL KLEIN LEICHMAN

etanel Paley of Teaneck has


a secret.
Mr. Paley, 21, a senior at
Yeshiva University, where he is
majoring in biology, flew to Los Angeles earlier this month to appear in the Jeopardy!
College Championship tournament. He was
competing against 14 other brainy undergraduates for a grand prize of $100,000.
The tournament will air beginning February 13. Until then, Mr. Paley is not permitted
to reveal the outcome.
Hell watch the first show in the 10-day
championship with his parents, Jeff and
Shara, and his three younger siblings on
multiple screens at 7 p.m. at the Teaneck
Doghouse, a kosher sports bar and grill. The
Doghouse is throwing a viewing party in Mr.
Paleys honor.
Im really blessed to have had this amazing experience, Mr. Paley said. It was so
much fun. Jeopardy! host Alex Trebek
didnt question him about his white-bordered

Netanel Paley

navy crocheted kippah or his side curls, but


nevertheless he aimed to put Orthodox
Jewry out there a little more during his time
in L.A . (The show was taped from January
8 to 12.

DAVID KHABINSKY/YESHIVA UNIVERSITY

At least passively representing Orthodox


Judaism is humbling and I hope I did a good
job, said Mr. Paley, a congregant at Congregation Beth Abraham in Bergenfield.
He was impressed with the camaraderie

among the contestants, he added. Everyone


was so nice and friendly. There was never an
air of a cutthroat competition, and there were
no sore losers. We were all high-fiving each
other and cheering each other on.
Without sharing any information he had
sworn not to divulge, he agreed to a question-and-answer session with the Jewish Standard. In homage to the venerable Jeopardy!
quiz-show format, were presenting it as an
answer-and-question instead.
A: RYNJ, MTA, TABC.
Q: Which schools did Mr. Paley attend
before college? (Rosenbaum Yeshiva of North
Jersey, Manhattan Talmudical Academy,
Torah Academy of Bergen County)
A: Since childhood.
Q: For how long has Mr. Paley been a fan
of Jeopardy!?
A: 23 million.
Q: How many viewers tune into Jeopardy! during an average week?
A: Checking online regularly for upcoming tryouts and signing up for an email
SEE WHO WON? PAGE 24

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JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017 7

Local

United in service
Interfaith event brings kids and communities together
LARRY YUDELSON

n Martin Luther King Day, the


halls of the Jewish Federation
of Northern Jersey were alive
with the sound of kids working and laughing together.
The first Day of Service for Students
brought 85 kids mostly in middle school
from diverse communities in Bergen
County to work together for the community and get to know each other. Some
wore kipot, others a Muslim hijab or a Sikh
turban. Most were bareheaded.
They bagged supplies for the homeless,
drew signs for a community garden, wrote
postcards to soldiers, and painted a tree
of us that now hangs at the federations
office in Paramus.
They also got to know each other in
structured conversations, where they
learned about each others favorite foods
and religious practices.
I had a lot of fun, said Zareena AlShehab, 13, a Muslim eighth-grader at
the Thomas Jefferson Middle School in
Teaneck. I learned a lot about the Sikh
community and the Jewish community.
Ive done service with people of other
religions, like packathon for Haiti, she
said. This was the first time we were actually discussing our religion and engaging
in conversation with other people about
religion. It worked out great.
Martin Luther King Jr. used to speak of
the fierce urgency of now. The day of
service grew from the fierce urgency that
Tracy Zur felt the morning after the election. Ms. Zur lives in Ridgewood. She is a
Bergen Country freeholder, a mother of
three, and an active member of the Jewish community, having served on boards
of the Jewish federation and the Academies at Gerrard Berman Day School in
Oakland.
There was so much division, she
said. We needed to come together as a
community.
Ms. Zur started talking with her friends
about what to do. Something to highlight
Bergen Countys diversity. Something
involving children, who, she noted, had

Middle schoolers from different religious communities gathered at the


Jewish Federation of Northern New
Jersey on Martin Luther King Day.

been paying attention during the ugly election campaign.


And then there was the Martin Luther
King holiday, which often seems like its
just a day off from school but calls for a
deeper observance.
Tracy reached out to me and said she
wanted to do something meaningful with
the kids, Yasmeen Al-Shehab, Zareenas
mother, said. My kids in particular were
very anxious with all the talk of a Muslim
registry and a Muslim ban. I was on board
immediately.
The organizers drew students from
Teanecks Muslim community; the Sikh
community centered around the Glen
Rock temple; the local chapter of Jack and
Jill of America, an African American family
organization; the Academy of Saint Paul, a
Catholic school in Ramsey, and two Jewish day schools, the Gerrard Berman and

Yeshivat HeAtid in Teaneck.


It was natural for the federation to open
its doors for the day of service, according
to Barbara Selman, co-chair of the federations intergroup relations committee.
This is what we as Jews do, she said.

Through Federation we are reaching


out to others, learning about each other
and forming friendships. Its important
that other groups in our community get
to know us, to know that we care about
them, and for them to care about us.

Save the date! Come Along for the Ride!


Join JFCS for the 7th annual
Wheels-for-Meals Ride to Fight Hunger.

Sunday, June 11, 2017


For information contact us at 201-837-9090 or visit www.ridetofighthunger.com
8 JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017

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JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017 9

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Talking to God?
Dr. Ben Sommer explains the Shema
and other ancient Near Eastern Texts
JOANNE PALMER

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hat is the Shema?


Yes, as we are told,
its the central part of
our liturgy, ancient,
stirring, anchoring.
But what exactly is it? What does it
mean? Hear, O Israel, the Lord our
God, the Lord is One. Clarify, please.
Dr. Benjamin Sommer of Teaneck, a
professor of Bible and ancient Semitic
languages, will talk about that and
other Jewish issues as scholar in residence at Temple Emanu-el of Closter.
As always, he speaks as an academically rigorous scholar who is also an
observant Conservative Jew, an active
member of Congregation Beth Sholom
in Teaneck.
Prayer is defined as speaking about
or addressing God, so the Shema is not
really a prayer, Dr. Sommer, who grew
up in Hillsdale, said. In the Shema,
God, or maybe Moses, is addressing us,
in the opening line, so its a funny kind
of prayer.
In my talk, I will suggest that when
you look at ancient Near Eastern treaties
and contracts, they have a certain number of stock elements, boilerplate language. There is a particular formula for
the contract between the emperor and
his vassal kings. It often has been noted
that the books of Deuteronomy, Exodus, and Leviticus have these elements,
which are found in ancient treaties.
Those elements, Dr. Sommer said,
imply that the entire nation Israel
has been put into the role of a vassal
king the entire nation of Israel, men,
women, and children. The three paragraphs of the Shema include language
that very succinctly is a contract
between an emperor and his vassals.
One of the many obvious ways in
which the ancient world differs from
our own was that almost nobody could
read or write.
In the ancient world, the treaty had
to be read aloud to the vassal king on a
regular basis, Dr. Sommer said. Part
of the vassals responsibilities were
to hear it recited. In the Shemas first
paragraph, we are told that we have
to recite it morning and evening. In
that recitation, he added, we each take
on the roles of both the king powerful but most likely illiterate and the
scribe, physically and political weaker
but able to read.
Another way of being subject to a
contract in the ancient world was to
touch it, Dr. Sommer said, perhaps with

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10 JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017

Dr. Benjamin Sommer

the fringe of your garment. When we


take the tzitzit, touch it to the Torah,
and kiss it, we are acknowledging the
contract. Rather than signing the document something ancient people
could not do they symbolically recognized that they were bound to it by
touching it with something with which
they symbolically were bound.
A contract had to be kept someplace
safe in the ancient Near East, and people have to know where it is. A mezuzah, anyone? There it is, right there on
the doorpost!
As time went by, Jews forgot the legal
boilerplate of a culture that no longer
was their own, but they still knew that
the Shema involved binding themselves to an overlord, Dr. Sommer said.
They say that accepting the commandments is accepting the yoke of heaven.
The rabbis are preserving a much older
interpretation. Even when the form was
forgotten, the meaning was passed on
in the oral tradition. People often think
that new methodology that is, the
kind of literary biblical criticism that
involves studying historical, linguistic,
and other kinds of context, and putting
the text firmly into that context are
opposed to each other, but theyre not.
Often the rabbis were preserving an
older tradition, that goes back to the
Bible itself, and modern scholarship
uncovers that older tradition.
His most recent book, Revelation
and Authority: Sinai in Jewish Scripture and Tradition, shows that a particularly modern way of understanding the nature of revelation and the
authority of Jewish law is far deeper
and has more ancient roots than people
realize, he continued. In the book, I

Local
argue that the view of revelation associated with theologians like Abraham
Joshua Heschel in fact has predecessors
in the Bible itself.
The accounts of revelation at Sinai in
the Torah encourage us to wonder exactly
how the laws that result from the revelation relate to Gods will, he said. The
narratives in Exodus 19 and 20 make us
wonder whether the nation Israel heard
the specific words of the 10 Commandments from God directly, or only through
Mosess intermediation. In a total of five
different ways, the narrative there sheds
some doubt on whether we heard it
through God or through Moses.
It would have been very easy to
phrase it in ways that make it clear
that it was one or the other. God or
Moses. If it all came from God, then
the extent to which we human beings
can be involved in creating the commandments was very limited. But if it
is the case that from the very beginning
Moses was interpreting Gods will and
then bringing it to the Israelites, that
means that human intervention in and
involvement in and participation in the
creation of the law that results from the
revelation was there in some form since
the very beginning.
And the ambiguity in the text is no
accident, Dr. Sommer continued. If
there were one or two ambiguities, that
would be one thing but there are five!
The narrator of the text wants us to
wonder about this question. He wants
us to be involved in the question of the
extent of authority.
Its the debate itself that is being
commanded, not the resolution of
the debate.
That sounds very modern, but
debate and ambiguity is rabbinic,
too, Dr. Sommer said. The mishna
begins with a debate about how we say
the Shema in the evening, and it continues with debates on every single page.
In my book, I show that in light of
modern biblical criticism, we see that
the Bible and especially the Torah,
the Five Books of Moses turns out to
be a very rabbinic book.
Although the Bible does not present
an infinite number of ways in which it
can be read, there are significantly more
than none. Often, that is because different voices have been left in, free to tell
different versions of the same story.
This really tends to be distinctive to
the ancient Israelites, not to the ancient
Near East as a whole, Dr. Sommer said.
There are other books that were put
together in similar ways, by combining
and expanding certain documents, but
still the final version has unity. It flows
well. For example, the Babylonians
Gilgamesh epic seems to have been put
together from a few sources, but it
doesnt contradict itself.
The Torah, on the other hand, contradicts itself immediately, with its

two versions of the creation of human


beings, and it presents different theological views of who the one God is and
what it means to be a human being.
Thats pretty much unique in the ancient
Near East. The rabbinic love of debate,
the machlochet the so-called argument for the sake of heaven is unique
to Jewish culture. You dont find it anywhere else in the ancient Near East. But
its not just a rabbinic tendency. It goes
all the way back to the Bible.
Dr. Sommer also will be scholar in
residence at the Conservative Synagogue Adath Israel of Riverdale, in the
Bronx, in a few weeks, and at Temple
Israel and Jewish Community Center in
Ridgewood on the weekend of March 4.
(Well provide more information about
that later.) Hell talk more about Revelation and Authority at those shuls.
The book has won the GoldsteinGoren prize as the best book in Jewish
thought, 2014-2016; it also was a finalist for the Jewish National Book Award
last year. This most recent book before
Revelation and Authority, 2009s The
Bodies of God and the World of Ancient
Israel, won the American Academy of
Religions award for excellence in the
study of religion and the Association of
Jewish Studies Jordan Schnitzer Award;
Revelation and Authority was a finalist
for that award too. Dr. Sommers earlier
books have won many awards, too many
to list here.
Dr. Sommer is proud of those
awards, but he uses them to talk about
his pride in his institution, the Conservative movements flagship body,
the Jewish Theological Seminary. He is
not alone in the number of awards hes
won, he said; his haul is nearly standard for a JTS professor. Look at graduate programs in Jewish studies around
the world, he added. Many of them are
excellent programs, run by brilliant
gifted scholars and teachers, but none
of them garner the number of awards
we garner.
There is a myth out there that JTSs
glory days are in the past, he said.
Actually, its faculty, academically
speaking, has never been as strong as
it is now.
When it comes to awards, I am not
atypical but representative of the JTS
faculty, Dr. Sommer said.

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201.750.4238

Call now for your trial day. Its on us!

Who: Dr. Benjamin Sommer


What: Will be scholar in residence
Where: At Temple Emanu-El of
Closter, 180 Piermont Road
When: On Saturday, January 27; hell
speak during services, which begin at
9 a.m., and then lead an
informal discussion at a dessert
reception afterward.
For more information: Go to
www.templeemanu-el.com or call
(201) 750-9997.

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JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017 11

Local

Rutgers to host Masorti on Campus Shabbaton


Conservative college groups strive to maintain a grassroots style
LOIS GOLDRICH

hen Rutgers Hillel hosts the


2017 Masorti on Campus
Shabbaton on February 10
to 12 the third such event
since a group of students resurrected and
restructured the Conservative movements
Koach college program it will demonstrate once again that organizations can
be structured from the bottom up.
Were driven by students needs, Eric
Leiderman said. Mr. Leiderman, who grew
up in Englewood his family recently
moved to Florida, he said is a co-founder
and interim executive director of Masorti
on Campus, which was created during the
summer of 2013. Theres turnover every
four years, and changing needs, whether a
group wants to have a speaker or options
for buying new siddurim. We serve as a
resource and a middleman.
We also try to support these communities by getting student leaders to share best
practices and helping to organize events
such as the Shabbatons, he added. We
stay away from the top-down [model],
maintaining a grassroots style. When
students latch on and take ownership, it
works well.
Masorti on Campus has a good relationship with Masorti Olami The World
Council of Conservative/Masorti Synagogues, as well as with the Conservative movements Rabbinical Assembly,
Mr. Leiderman said. It is housed at the
Jewish Theological Seminary, which is
helping us with different logistics, and
funded through donors. Mr. Leiderman
said that at a recent fundraising event
for Masorti Olami, I met a lot of people
excited to work with us. That includes

Masorti on Campuss 2014 Shabbaton was at the Jewish Theological Seminary in Manhattan.
Marom Olami, which works with young
adults and has pioneered the idea of
Masorti rabbis adopting communities
near them. Ive already discussed this
with the RA, Mr. Leiderman said.
While the group does not have formal affiliates some college groups have
adopted their name and some, including
the group at Rutgers, still call themselves
Koach and while the college movements
self-identification ranges from Conservative to Masorti to traditional-egalitarian,
Mr. Leiderman said the model Rutgers
uses is what were looking for.

Masorti on Campus participants read Torah in a weekday service.


12 JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017

Koach at Rutgers, now headed by


Michal Karlin who served as a Masorti
on Campus fellow last year meets
weekly and has special events throughout the semester. The organization
functions as a subgroup of Hillel. Mr.
Leiderman said that at least a dozen
campuses weve worked with have this
set-up.
We use the terms Masorti, Conservative, traditional-egalitarian interchangeably, although some have strict
feelings about one or the other, he said.
In its own mission statement, Masorti

on Campus uses all three terms. We


tell members, define yourself but dont
constrain yourself. One of the qualifications for those we work with is that
they have egalitarian services as a standard option.
Earlier Shabbatons have been hosted
by Columbia University and the University of Maryland. The host campus
invites students from other schools,
Mr. Leiderman said. But Rutgers is
not just using the campus as a conference center. Were being embraced by
the community. While invitations are
issued to all college students, well
primarily get students from those campuses with active communities. On the
other hand, previous Shabbatons have
welcomed students from Virginia and
North Carolina. Its an interesting and
dynamic mix, he said.
Mr. Leiderman said that originally
there had been some animosity between
his organization and those who disbanded Koach. (Koach, which was run
by the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism, put the organization on
hiatus, as it said, in 2013; it still hibernates, and seems unlikely to be awakened.) Still, Mr. Leiderman said, some
professional leaders, like former Koach
director Richard Moline, were there
for students inspired to start the project. He noted that relationships have
since improved, and were reaching
out to USY, United Synagogue Youth,
United Synagogues youth group. His
goal, Mr. Leiderman said, is to support

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Eric Leiderman of Englewood and Meredith


Brooks of Kearny. Both are active in Masorti on
Campus.

and grow traditional-egalitarian groups on campus


and eliminate the politics of using the Conservative
brand. But, he added, Theres not as much negative feeling about the brand as when we started.
For the upcoming Shabbaton, he added, Were
involved in fundraising, providing resources, speakers, advertising, and outreach to various Hillels.
He said his group is benefiting from the assistance
of Rabbi Dave Siegel, the director of Hofstra Hillel.
That group, he said, more than quadrupled in size
under Rabbi Siegels leadership.
Alex Hamilton and Meredith Brooks are co-chairing the Rutgers Shabbaton. Ms. Brooks, a senior,
is from Kearny, in Hudson County, a place she
describes as having only a few Jews. I was one of
only a few Jewish kids in public school, she said.
Still, she was active in USY and wanted to continue
being active. I decided to go to Rutgers, which Hillel
calls a great place to be Jewish.
Ms. Brooks noted that the Shabbaton will be a
good reunion place for people in USY, Camp Ramah,
and NATIV, programs run by the Conservative
movement. Even if theyre not into learning, there
will be plenty of opportunities for social interaction. She is hoping for some 80 participants, who
will be housed in students apartments, dorms, and
homes. Most probably will come from the Northeast,
she said. In addition to attendees registration fees,
which will help defray some of the cost, the Shabbaton has received donations from groups such as
Hillels Ezra Fellows.
Ms. Brooks said the event will strive for a balance
of fun events with more learning-based events. She
and her co-chair note the name, Alex Hamilton
not coincidentally have chosen the theme of revolution for the Shabbaton. Rutgers was founded in 1766
10 years before the United States was born and
recently marked its 250th year. Well explore how
we can have a revolution in the Jewish community,
whether in changing Hillel or improving the Conservative community on campus or the general Jewish community, Ms. Brooks said. A walking tour of
the historical part of the campus will be among the
Shabbatons activities.
Shabbat dinner and services will be followed, on
Saturday night, by a bar mitzvah-style party with
dancing, food, and fun. On Sunday, sessions will
conclude, and participants will be invited to a Torah
learning service.

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JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY
27, 2017

Local

Stronger together
Overflow crowd gathers for
Orthodox feminist conference
LARRY YUDELSON

The Jewish Orthodox Feminist Alliance conference attracted 1200 people.

Dena Weiss, Yonatan Brafman, Rabbi Ethan Tucker, and Rabbi Shmuel Hain

ttendees at last weeks JOFA


thats the Jewish Orthodox Feminist Alliance couldnt escape
the fact that there were very
many of them. There were far more of them
than anyone had expected.
The evidence was in the people sitting
on the floor and standing against the walls
and spilling into hallways in session after
session. The organization had planned for
1,000 people, as there had been in earlier
conferences, which are held every three
years. Instead, 1,200 showed up.
But it was hard to escape the impression
that this year what drew people to the Columbia campus last Saturday night and Sunday
was the chance to be part of a community.
This community included men as well as
women, lots of high school students and
twentysomethings, as well as many representatives of the generation that launched Jewish
feminism in the 1970s, or JOFA 20 years ago.
As a community, JOFA was less dependent than ever on finding established male
Orthodox rabbis to approve and validate its
agenda. Yeshivat Maharat, founded by Rabbi
Avi Weiss, ordained its first class of women
in 2013. At the conference plenary, woman

Alternatives to kiddushin

who were ordained or studying for Orthodox ordination were asked to stand up.
About 20 did. They were the speakers and
teachers who filled the conference schedule.
They were the communitys leaders.
We had frank conversations addressing
the growing wants and needs in our community, including LGBT inclusion, Dr. Sharon Weiss-Greenberg, JOFAs executive director, said. There were sessions on mental
health, on mikvah, on single motherhood,
on agunot, on whether Jewish texts argued
for equality or equity. The schedule was as
packed as the classrooms.
Some of the sessions that appealed to the
younger generation made some of the older
generation uncomfortable. A large turnout,
most in their 20s and younger, came for a
program that had originally taken place at
Stern College: Monologues of the Makom.
Makom is Hebrew for place, and is the rabbinic euphemism for female genitalia; this
was a frum Orthodox version of the Vagina
Monologues, Dr. Weiss-Greenberg said.
People shared their stories, she said.
They were promised confidentiality. There
were no men, and no press. It was a very
open forum to be very honest about issues
related to their periods, their bodies, pregnancies, what have you in the Orthodox lens

The fact is we enact marriage in way that is unequal from


its very beginning, she said.
So what is to be done?
LARRY YUDELSON
Yedidah Koren, a faculty member at the Drisha
Institute and Machon Hadar, presented some new
rthodox Jewish feminism long has manialternatives.
fested concern for the plight of agunot
Prenuptial agreements that demand a monetary fine if a man refuses to give his wife a
women trapped in a marriage by the
get have been endorsed by mainstream OrthoJewish law that provides that only the
dox rabbis, including the Rabbinical Council of
husband, can end the union. The wife cannot.
America, to prevent agunot. These, Ms. Koren
The way Jewish law mandates that marriages begin
said, are a first step in protecting the woman
is no less problematic, according to presenters at one
and making it possible for her somehow to get
JOFA session. The session presented alternatives to
out of the marriage.
kiddushin, the central marriage ritual, where the
A more revolutionary shift would be to modify
groom gives a bride a ring and says, Behold, you are
the kiddushin process something she did at her
consecrated to me.
wedding. One such possibility would be to make
This is one of the issues that is most pressing in
the kiddushin reciprocal by having the wife also
the Jewish community, because kiddushin happens
acquire the husband. Since what is actually being
across denominations, said Rabba Yaffa Epstein,
acquired, she said, is not the person, but rather
who was ordained by Yeshivat Maharat and teaches
Yedidah Koren, Rabba Yaffa Epstein, and past JOFA president Judy
the persons sexual exclusivity a wife after all
there. Rabba is the female form of the word rabbi,
Heicklen of Teaneck
cant be resold in Jewish law there would be no
adopted by some of the women ordained by Yeshivat
reason a woman couldnt similarly acquire her
Maharat. Every denomination uses kiddushin as the
The woman in the Torah is passive. It is not a partnership.
husbands sexuality.
main way in which marriage is enacted in their community.
Another possibility, which had been proposed by Israeli
The later description in the Mishna is not much better,
So whats the problem?
Chief Rabbi Shlomo Goren a generation ago, would be
she said. It begins: A woman is acquired.
Rabba Epstein pointed to the biblical verses in Deuteronomy that underpin Jewish marriage. They begin: When
to make kiddushin conditional on the couple never livIts institutionalized slavery wrapped up in a pretty
ing apart for 18 consecutive months. If they did separate,
a man takes a woman.
party, she said. Many people do want a wedding and want
under such a contract, they would retroactively never
Who does the taking according to our tradition? she
to get married in the ways their parents and great-grandparents got married.
have been married.
asked. The man. Who ends the relationship? The man.

JOFA panel reimagines the Jewish marriage ceremony

14 JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017

y
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e
o

l
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e
,

Local
that deeply affects our relationship with our bodies.
The community that was included at JOFA sessions
extended beyond the open Orthodox world centered
around Rabbi Avi Weiss and his Yeshivat Maharat and
Yeshivat Chovevei Torah, open Orthodoxys rabbinical
school for men. There were sessions featuring charedi
feminists, such as the founders of the first womens charedi political party in Israel. And there was an open discussion of whether denominational labels like Orthodox even mattered.
Theres a trend in the up-and-coming generation to be less bound by labels, Dr. Weiss-Greenberg
explained. Most denominations have seen this trend.
In the Orthodox world, people were threatening to
take away the Orthodox label for not fitting in the box.
We see ourselves as part of the big tent of Orthodoxy, but appreciate that there are some who see
themselves as tied to the Orthodox community but
less tied to the label.
In the session on the topic, Dena Weiss, who leads
the beit midrash at Machon Hadar, the egalitarian nondenominational yeshiva in Manhattan, talked about
flipping her synagogue roles and identities from the
weekday, where she is a leader in the Machon Hadar
community, to Shabbat, where for the most part I
daven in Orthodox shuls.
I have a deep split in how I am in those spaces.
In Hadar, I sit in the front. If someone has a
question, they ask me. On Shabbos, Im behind the
mechitza, and no one would dare ask me a question,
let alone offer me an aliyah, she said.
She said she has developed some sort of reputation of being post-denominational or not Orthodox.
The real choice was do I do what I think is right from
a perspective of avodat Hashem serving God or
am I going to capitulate to some arbitrary standard of
whats considered to be Orthodox. It just seems like

On the one hand, this is a broader protection


than the prenuptial agreement. It protects from
something like the husband being incapacitated in a
car accident and unable to give a divorce, or if he disappears all the things the regular prenuptial agreement doesnt deal with.
On the other hand, making kiddushin conditional
enables the woman to have agency in dissolving the
marriage. A woman can request a divorce, and if it isnt
not given to her, she can move out.
But maybe its better to think what a halachic marriage can be if its not kiddushin, she said. It enables
creativity and starting to think what a Jewish marriage
can be.
Perhaps, she suggested, a mechanism of oaths and
vows could be used to create a halachically binding relationship, in which the partners pledge sexual fidelity to
each other. I would argue for a completely new marriage ceremony, because the reality of our world does
not match what the halacha of kiddushin actually is,
Rabba Epstein said.
What about Kiddushin, the talmudic tractate on the
topic?
So many tractates we have are already theoretical,
Ms. Koren said, pointing to talmudic discussions of Temple sacrifice.
Leaving traditional Jewish marriage law behind
opens up many, many questions, she admitted. While
we can find solutions, we dont yet have a tractate of
law that helps us deal with all the many complications.

a really bizarre question, to choose to be Orthodox over


avodat Hashem as I see it. Orthodoxy is very helpful as
a description, its not very helpful as a prescriptive. As a
description its much more helpful for institutions and much
less helpful for individuals. People are much too complex to
reduce them to a label.
Ive experienced some small amount of discrimination
for not being Orthodox enough. Every time someone says, I
wish we could have you as a scholar-in-residence but theres
someone in the community who thinks youre not Orthodox
enough I just feel sorry for them, for being willing to jettison Torah for some ideological standard, she said.
Ms. Weiss said she grew up going to Orthodox camps

and schools. But after eighth grade, her father, Cantor Sam
Weiss, took a job at the Jewish Community Center of Paramus, a Conservative congregation.
In the ninth grade I had a very strong identity as an
Orthodox person, she said. I had to ask myself, where am
I going to shul? I had to balance the important value of honoring my parents and my identity.
I came up with this very elaborate compromise where I
would go to my fathers shul and daven there every Shabbat
before rosh chodesh, the new month. The other Shabbos
I would go to the Orthodox shul two blocks away and sneak
in to my fathers shul just before kiddush.
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Exceptional Cuisine by Prestige
Caterers NK Glatt Kosher Supervision

FLORENCE, ITALY

PALM BEACH, FLORIDA

PHOENIX, ARIZONA

PGA National
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Arizona
Biltmore

A WALDORF ASTORIA RESORT

Entire Hotel Kosher for Pesach


AAA 4-Diamond Resort
All Rooms Have Private Balconies
5 Tournament-Ready Golf Courses
19 Har Tru Tennis Courts
Fantastic Scholars-in-Residence
Delectable Cuisine by Foremost Ram
Caterers ORB Glatt Kosher Supervision

Cond Nast Traveler, 2016 Gold List


Top Arizona Resort 8 heated
swimming pools 7 Tennis Courts
Two 18 hole championship golf
courses Fantastic Scholars-in
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Haute gourmet cuisine by VIP Ram
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Four Seasons
Florence

FIUGGI (ROME), ITALY

Grand Hotel
Palazzo Della Fonte

RYE BROOK, NEW YORK

Entire La Villa building Kosher for


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amidst a 350,000 sq.ft. botanical
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rated Four Seasons chefs Daily
services, outstanding lectures &
childrens program Glatt Kosher
supervision by Rabbi G.M. Garelik

Entire Hotel Kosher for Pesach


Member of the Leading Hotels Of The
World Haute Italian Cuisine Beautiful
spa, indoor & outdoor pools Free daily
shuttle to Rome Daily services,
outstanding lectures & childrens
program Glatt Kosher Supervision by
Rabbi G.M. Garelik of Milan

Entire hotel Kosher for Pesach


Only 30 minutes from New York City
Hotel beautifully renovated
Spectacular lineup of Scholars-inResidence Fantastic entertainment &
daily activities Professional day camp
Exceptional cuisine by Prestige
Caterers ORB Glatt Kosher Supervision

Leisure Time Tours


www.leisuretimetours.com

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718-528-0700
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JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017 15

Briefly Local
Three honored
at JNF event
This years Jewish National Fund event,
which honored area residents with its
prestigious Circle of Excellence awards,
was held last month at Congregation Beth
Sholom in Teaneck. It focused on JNFs
Special in Uniform program, which
aims to integrate young people with disabilities into the Israel Defense Forces
and to assist them in preparing for their
careers even after army service.
Lt. Col. (Res.) Ariel Almog, chair of Special in Uniform, was the guest speaker.
Circle of Excellence award honorees
were Toby and Peter Glick, longtime
members of Congregation Beth Sholom,
and Mordechai Ungar, an active member
of Congregation Beth Aaron. Maadan of
Teaneck catered the glatt kosher buffet
and dessert reception; proceeds benefitted JNFs work with Special in Uniform.

Toby and Peter Glick and


Mordechai Ungar

Buzzy Green, Lt. Col (Res.) Ariel


Almog, and Yossi Kahana, JNF
education head.  PHOTOS COURTESY JNF

Couple lauded for volunteerism


Andrea and Scott Pass of Fair Lawn will
be honored this Shabbat as Menschen
of the Year during services at the Fair
Lawn Jewish Center/Congregation Bnai
Israel. Services begin at 9:30 a.m.
The Passes have been active members
in the FLJC/CBI community for more
than 20 years. Together they created
many successful fundraising programs,
including Comedy Night and Broadway
Cabaret.
Scott has been president of the Mens
Progress Club, served on the shuls
board and executive board, and chaired
its Sefer Haftorah project, which netted
more than $100,000. He is the fundraising, High Holiday Survey committee,
and Mens Progress Clubs Yellow Candle Project chair, and was named Man
of the Year by the Northern New Jersey
Federation of Jewish Mens Clubs.
Andrea has been a member of the
shul, nursery, and religious school

Scott and Andrea Pass

boards, president of the sisterhood,


and membership committee chair. She
chairs the fundraising and Sisterhood
Scholarship committees and became an
adult bat mitzvah at the FLJC/CBI.
For more information, go to www.
FLJC.com or call (201) 796-5040.

Hadassah region plans conference


Hadassah Northern NJ will hold a mini
Winter Conference, including training
sessions, on Sunday, January 29, at the
West Orange JCC, 760 Northfield Ave.

Lunch is included in the registration


fee. For information, call the regional
office at (973) 530-3996 or email nnjregion@hadassah.org.

Community Torah learning in Wyckoff


Sweet Tastes of Torah, concentrating
this year on Shabbat Shira and Tu
BShevat, a community night of study
on music, the environment, and more,
is set for Saturday, February 11. Presented by the North Jersey Board of Rabbis with support from local synagogues,
16 JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017

this years evening is at Temple Beth Rishon, at 6:30 p.m. There will also be desserts and socializing.
The shul is at 585 Russell Ave. For
information, call (201) 652-1687, email
sweettastesoftorah@gmail.com, or go
to sweettastesoftorah.weebly.com.

Raizi Chechik, the principal of Stella K. Abraham High School, spoke


about women and Torah transmission. 
PHOTO PROVIDED

OU sponsors Torah in the City


Last weekend, New Yorks Citi Field
was filled with 1,500 people from
the tristate area and beyond who
came to Torah in the City, a day
of Torah learning presented by the
Orthodox Union. The daylong program of halacha, hashkafa, Tanach, and Israel was an introduction
to the OUs new leadership, under
incoming president Moishe Bane.
The organization will be expanding
its Torah education programming
for the community through similar
future events.
The day featured more than 30
distinguished speakers, including
scholars, educators, activists, and
others at the forefront of contemporary Jewish life. They included Raizi
Chechik, Nechama Price, and rabbis Shalom Rosner, Mordechai Willig, Yonasan Sacks, David Fohrman,
and Steven Weil. A diverse group of

attendees came from Teaneck, Passaic, Philadelphia, Baltimore, and


beyond.
Ambassador Dani Dayan, Israels
consul-general, recited a prayer for
peace in Israel during the communal prayer session. New York City
Councilman David Greenfield was
also in attendance.
The day was preceded by OUs
board convention, which passed
several resolutions, releasing statements on the 50th anniversary
of Jerusalems reunification, U.N.
Security Resolution 2334, rising
anti-Semitism, and combatting BDS
on campus, among other pressing
issues facing the Jewish people. The
full text of the resolutions is available on the OU Advocacy site.
Torah in the City lectures will be
uploaded to the OUTorah.org website over the next weeks.

Gallen Center welcomes Pernick


as the new activities director
Music therapist Ben Pernick is the new
director of recreation and activities at the
Gallen Adult Day Center, Jewish Home at
Homes adult day program, which operates in Bergen and Rockland counties. It
offers free transportation, hot meals, and
a day of stimulating social programming.
Mr. Pernick is shown in the photo at right
playing saxophone for participants, who
enjoy musical guests regularly. Members
of the program also have access to all the
amenities of the Jewish Home, including
rehab, the beauty parlor, the gift shop, a
podiatrist, and a dentist. The Gallen Center is open to people of all religions; grants
are available for veterans, and people with
Alzheimers, among others. For information or a free day trial, call (201) 750-4238.

upcoming at

Kaplen

JCC on the Palisades

The Leonard & Syril Rubin Nursery


School Registration is Open!

2017-18 registration

now open!

Learn, laugh, share and grow at the JCC! Early


development is fundamental to the growth of your child.
Our school provides innovative programming that allows
preschool children to explore and understand new
concepts in a fun, dynamic way. Options for toddlers
through Kindergarten.
For more info or to schedule a tour, contact
Elissa Yurowitz at 201.408.1436 or eyurowitz@jccotp.org.

Book Study Group:


Lecture & Discussion
Join Professor Ben Nelson as he leads our book group in
exploring both contemporary fiction and 20th century
classics. Well read the following: The Moonstone by Wilkie
Collins, Light Years by James Salter, Purity by Jonathan
Franzen and Candide by Voltaire.
Visit jccotp.org to sign up or call Judy at 201.408.1457.
Wednesdays, Feb 15, Mar 15, Apr 26 & May 17, 1:30-3:30 pm,
$60/$75, $16/$20 per session

Snow Tubing at Campgaw


Mountain
Sign your children up for a fun night out at one
of our areas top snow tubing destinations! We
provide transportation and snack. Registration
required by Feb 1.
Grades 3-7, Sat, Feb 11, 7:30-10:30 pm, $40/$45

teens

kids

Tot Shabbat with Matty Roxx


Enjoy a fun, music-filled morning with your
toddler that will provide you both with a warm
and meaningful Shabbat experience including
prayer, movement, stories and fun. Lets not
forget the challah and grape juice!
3-24 months, Fridays, Jan 27-May 26, 9:30-10:15
am, $10 at the door

Project Cares: Babysitting 101 and


Learning to Work with Special
Needs Youth
Grades 6-8
Learn how to work with children with different abilities
and social skills, how to handle emergency situations
and more!

Faculty Musical Montage


Join us for an annual celebratory concert showcasing
Thurnauers distinguished teacher-performers in
duos and ensembles.
Sun, Feb 12, 3 pm, Free

Visit jccotp.org/teen-educational-programs for


more information or contact Shelley Levy at
slevy@jccotp.org.
Programs made possible with the generous support
of the EGL Foundation.

Kaplen

music

to register or for more info, visit

jccotp.org or call 201.569.7900.

JCC on the Palisades taub campus | 411 e clinton ave, tenafly, nJ 07670 | 201.569.7900 | jccotp.org
JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017 17

Rockland
Learning about other Jews
Montebello Center takes a field trip to Yeshivat Maharat
JOANNE PALMER

ts often easy to develop stereotypes


about other people. Certainly we
Jews have been the victims of stereotyping often enough to know how
bad it can be.
Not only is it purely and understandably human if not proper or good to
distrust people from groups to which we
do not belong, it is also often purely and
understandably human if not proper or
good to distrust people from other corners of our own group.
If you are a liberal Jew, say, in Rockland
County, you might distrust the chasidim
who have come to so publicly define the
Jewish world where you live.
Rabbi Richard Hammerman, the Conservative rabbi at the Montebello Jewish
Center in Suffern, knows that relations
between the members of his shul and the
chasidic and charedi Jews just down the
road in Monsey, are tense. He wanted to
be sure that the Montebello community
understands not only intellectually, as
most of them already did, but emotionally as well that there are many shades
of Orthodox, and in fact there are many
modern Orthodox Jews with whom we can
identify in a very positive way, he said.
They are doing outstanding work, which
we should be proud of.
Rabbi Hammerman thought of Rabbi
Avi Weiss, the modern Orthodox rabbi
who recently stepped down after many
years as the leader of the Hebrew Institute
of Riverdale in the Bronx. The two rabbis
have been friends since I lived in Riverdale when I was in rabbinical school,
Rabbi Hammerman, 70, said. They lived in
the same apartment building. Rabbi Weiss
was just recreating HIR, which used to
have another name and another home but
had moved up to the Bronx. I attended
services I went there for mincha in
the boiler room. After that, they stayed
in touch.
So it was logical for Rabbi Hammerman to think of bringing a delegation from
Montebello not only to HIR, but also to
Yeshivat Maharat, the Orthodox womens
seminary that Rabbi Weiss founded and
is housed at HIR. For one thing, not only
does he know Rabbi Weiss, he also knows
its executive director, Amanda Friedman
Shechter. Ms. Shechter grew up in Toms
River and became bat mitzvah at Congregation Bnai Israel, the shul Rabbi Hammerman headed until his retirement.
Later, Rabbi Hammerman performed
her wedding. (His pulpit at Montebello is
18 JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017

Rabbi Jeffrey Fox, rosh yeshiva of Yeshivat Maharat, teaches a class in


Jewish law.
JTA/URIEL HEILMAN

temporary; Rabbi Hammerman is filling in


this year. Retirement beckons.)
Also, Rabbi Hammerman added, there
was another personal connection. Bruce
Levine, the head of Montebellos adult
education committee, had been a member of Avi Weisss shul, when they all were
young and Mr. Levine was Orthodox.
But beyond all those personal connections, the idea of an Orthodox institution
ordaining women was intriguing to me,
and I wanted to learn more about it.
Not only is Yeshivat Maharat ordaining
women, it is also very much involved in
preparing women to be pulpit rabbis and
Jewish educators with sensitivity to womens needs, the needs of the LGBT community, to people with special needs, and
they do outreach to the non-Jewish community. It is very much a forward-thinking
institution, which seems to be successful
in training the kinds of rabbis who are
right for 2017.
We as Conservative Jews can learn with
them, just as they can learn from us.
There still are differences between even
very modern Orthodox and Conservative
Jews, he added. The rosh yeshiva, Rabbi
Jeffrey Fox, said they see the Shulchan
Aruch as being central to any religious
decision they make, he said. That is
unlike the approach of Conservative Judaism, which sees Jewish law more as evolving. He said they give halacha a veto, not
a vote. I pointed out Mordechai Kaplans

expression. Rabbi Mordechai


Kaplan was the founder of
Reconstructionism; he often is
quoted as having said that halacha had a vote, not a veto in
his decisions.
So last month, six members
of the Montebello Jewish Center piled into a car and drove to
Rabbi Richard Hammerman

COURTESY RABBI HAMMERMAN
Riverdale. They met with the
women of Yeshivat Maharat;
in a separate school in the same building,
coasts. Every graduate has gotten a job
they saw the men of Rabbi Weisss other
without any problems.
academic brainchild, Yeshivat Chovevei
They acknowledge how hard it is
Torah. We were told that they have some
for the Orthodox community to accept
programs together, and eventually probawomen, but they feel that slowly they are
bly they will have more, but they are movmaking progress.
ing very slowly in that direction, Rabbi
Harriet Spevack of Tuxedo Park, a Montebello member, was on the trip.
Hammerman said. Rabbi Fox quoted Yitz
Yeshivat Maharat is a very interesting
Greenberg thats Rabbi Irving Greenberg, the prominent Orthodox rabbi who
institution, and I was very impressed with
started Clal, among many other accomthe level of education and learning, and
plishments. Yitz said that every rabbi
the ability of the women there, she said.
should be 10 years ahead of his congregaTheir dedication was remarkable.
tion but if youre 25 years ahead, then
Im a Conservative Jew, she added. I
you have to look for another job. In other
am used to being egalitarian. I think that
words, you cant move too quickly.
they are trying to change things within
The Montebello group had the chance
Orthodoxy, and I have to give them a lot
to listen to one of Maharats teachers.
of credit. I know that Rabbi Weiss has
She is just brilliant, Rabbi Hammerman
gotten a lot of flak from other Orthodox
said. We were very taken with the level
institutions, but he really is a pioneer. He
of teaching, as well as the fact that already
has been at the forefront of change, she
these graduates and there are only a
said, recalling his prominent, courageous,
handful so far have had an impact on
and ultimately successful fight to liberate
Jewish communities on the east and west
Soviet Jews.

Rockland
11 Rockland organizations head to Israel

The trip didnt entirely meet its goal for her, Ms.
Spevack said, because I am very familiar with modern Orthodoxy. Many of her friends are Orthodox,
and she has spent a summer in Israel, when she and
her husband visited a few liberal Orthodox shuls.
She, like Rabbi Hammerman, was taken with
something that Rabbi Weiss showed the group. HIR
was renovated a few years ago, before Rabbi Weiss
retired. The group went to the main sanctuary, and
Rabbi Weiss challenged us to guess which side was
which. Which one was the womens and which was
the mens. It was an impossible task, because the two
sides are identical, with exactly the same number of
seats, the same footprint in the room, and the same
access to the bimah.
There is a ramp leading up to the bimah, so that it
is accessible to people in wheelchairs. When Rabbi
Weiss told the designer that he wanted such a ramp,
he was told that he would lose 18 seats by doing that.
And then Rabbi Weiss said no, wed lose 36. Thats
because there is a ramp on both sides, providing
access to both women and men. That impressed me
a lot, Ms. Spevack said.
Women cannot read from the Torah at HIR, and
they cannot lead services, so the access right now is
partially theoretical. When they built it, though, I
think they had in mind that eventually women will
lein, read from the Torah, Rabbi Hammerman said.
The trip was very interesting, Ms. Spevack said.
It is interesting to see how people cope with their
need to change. Im happy that I went.

The Jewish Federation & Foundation of Rockland County


will bring 28 leaders from 11 Jewish agencies and synagogues, including the Rockland County Board of Rabbis,
to a seminar in Tel Aviv from February 5 to 9. It is made
possible by the Lily Steuer Fund of the Jewish Federation
& Foundation of Rockland County, and it is the first of its
kind for Rocklands Jewish leaders.
Systematic Inventive Thinking will lead the seminar,
Challenge, Innovation and Renaissance. The Israeli firm
helps companies and organizations succeed by achieving
self-sustaining innovation. Representatives from SIT started
working with the Rockland organizations in November,
when they ran a workshop on innovative thinking at the JCC
Campus in West Nyack. The February seminar will continue
the work that began in November and give participants a
firsthand look at Jewish innovation in Israel.
Gary Siepser, CEO of the Jewish Federation & Foundation of Rockland County, hopes the seminar will teach
Rockland Jewish organizations how to work together
in an innovative way to respond to the changing Jewish landscape.

Jewish institutions need to embrace innovation and


evolve in a meaningful way if they are to remain relevant
in peoples lives, Mr. Siepser said. This is true not only
for synagogues but for agencies like the federation and the
JCC, and our Jewish schools too. Because we are all facing
the same challenges of a changing Jewish world, we can
best respond by learning and working together.
Cantor Barry Kanarek, director of federations Rockland
Jewish Initiative, is coordinating the seminar. According
to Cantor Kanarek, Israels rich history of innovation is a
vast source of inspiration for Rocklands Jewish future. By
combining a historical look at Israeli innovation with the
inventive thinking process, Im optimistic we will leave Tel
Aviv with a new vision for Rocklands Jewish future.
Organizations represented include Congregation
Shaarey Israel, Hillel of Rockland, Israel Bonds, JCC
Rockland, Jewish Federation & Foundation of Rockland County, New City Jewish Center, Orangetown Jewish Center, Rockland Jewish Academy, Rockland Jewish
Family Service, Temple Beth Sholom, and West Clarkstown Jewish Center.

Clarkstown shul honors custodian


The Nanuet Hebrew Center family honored
chief custodian Allan Soto on becoming a
U.S. citizen during services on Friday, January 6, and again on Saturday, January 7, when

there was a kiddush lunch in his honor. NHC


families also shared stories about their family
members becoming citizens.
Allan Soto

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JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY


27, 4:04:10
2017 PM
19
12/5/2016

Rockland
AIPAC comes to Woodcliff Lake
Temple Emanuel of the Pascack Valley hosted a
program in December featuring David Gillette,
AIPACs deputy director for policy and government affairs. He discussed Whats Next for the
U.S.-Israel Relationship? with the 150 attendees.
The evening was presented in partnership
with Temple Emanuel of the Pascack Valley,
Orangetown Jewish Center, Bergen County
YJCC, the Reform Temple of Rockland, Congregation Bnai Israel, Congregation Sons of Israel,
Mark Tanchel, left, AIPAC chair for
the Glen Rock Jewish Center, Temple Emanu-El
Temple Emanuel of the Pascack
of Closter, and Temple Israel & JCC.
Valley in Woodcliff Lake, with feaMark Tanchel, AIPAC chair for Temple
tured speaker David Gillette.
Emanuel of the Pascack Valley, encouraged the
attendees to join the AIPAC policy conference,
set for March 26 in Washington. Email akahane@aipac.org.

elcome home...

Rockland Hillel attends gala


Hillel of Rockland brought 40 students from Rockland Community College to the
ZOA gala in November. It was the largest delegation from one college at the annual
Israel advocacy evening. Hillel of Rockland directors Rabbi Dov and Shevy Oliver are
pictured with the students, standing at right.

enjoy the possibilities!

Art talk in Orangeburg


Karen Lehrman Bloch offers a slideshow and discussion of the images in her new book, Passage to Israel,
at the Orangetown Jewish Center on Sunday, January
29, at 7:30 p.m.
The synagogue is at 8 Independence Ave., in Orangeburg. For information, call (845) 359-5920, ext. 2, or go
to theojc.org.
Karen Lehrman Bloch

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The Jewish Federation & Foundation of Rockland County offers spring Midreshet
Rockland adult Jewish education courses. They include Israel and the Jewish People, led by community shaliach Liraz Levi, and Wandering with Moses in the
Exodus by Dr. Martin O. Cohen. Wednesday courses begin February 1 or March 1.
Thursday courses begin February 2. For information, call (845) 362-4200 or go to
jewishrockland.org.

845-359-7870

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Jewish education courses for enrichment

Musical family services in New City


Temple Beth Sholom holds Rock My Soul Shabbat, musical family services, at 6:30
p.m. on the first Friday night of the month. Services continue February 3, March 3,
April 7, May 5, and June 2. The synagogue is at 228 New Hempstead Road in New City.
For information, call (845) 638-0770.

640 Oak Tree Road


Wishing you
a
sweet
newaNYsweet
year.
10964
Wishing Palisades,
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new year.

A LUXURY SENIOR RESIDENCE

Jamie and Steven Dranow Larry A. Model Harvey Schwartz


www.esplanadeatpalisades.com
Jamie and Steven Dranow Larry A. Model Harvey Schwartz

Gregg Brunwasser Michael L. Rosenthal, General Manager


Gregg Brunwasser Michael L. Rosenthal, General Manager
As your local Dignity Memorial providers, we wish you
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NCJW offers lecture


on healthy skin
Dr. Fayne Frey, a board-certified dermatologist, presents a program on myths and truths of anti-wrinkle
creams and other skin care regimens for the Rockland
section of the National Council of Jewish Women on
Wednesday, March 1, at 7:45 p.m. The meeting will
be at the JCC Rockland, 450 W Nyack Road, in West
Nyack. Refreshments will be served. For information,
go to ncjwrockland.org.

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JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017 21

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Kraft, Blank are this years


Jewish Super Bowl heroes

oth Super Bowl teams have


Jewish owners.
The last time that happened was in 2012.
Robert Kraft will see his New England Patriots, the American Football Conference champions, in the big
game for the seventh time since 2000.
He bought the club, which will be making its
record ninth Super Bowl appearance, in 1994.
Arthur Blank will watch his National Football Conference-winning Atlanta Falcons playing in their second Super Bowl but the first since the Home Depot
founder bought the team 15 years ago.
In 2012, the unbeaten Patriots were upset by the New
York Giants, who are co-owned by the Tisch family.
The Patriots and Falcons both advanced to the 51st
Super Bowl, which will be played in Houstons NRG Stadium on February 6, with routs in the conference championship games last Sunday.
Blank, 74, the chairman of the Arthur Blank Family Foundation, has pledged to take all of the Falcons
employees there are about 270 of them to the Super
Bowl. He has signed the Giving Pledge, committing himself to give away at least 50 percent of his wealth to charitable causes. Blank reportedly has a net worth of about
$3 billion.
The Kraft family has donated more than $100 million
to an array of causes over recent decades, including
health care, education, the Jewish community, Christian
organizations, and local needs.
Kraft, 75, is a prominent supporter of American football in Israel; he has contributed to the Kraft Family Stadium in Jerusalem and the Kraft Family Israel Football

League. Last year he donated $6 million to create


the Kraft Family Sports Campus in Jerusalem.
The contribution is to advance Jerusalem
as an international sports hub, the office
of Jerusalem Mayor Nir Barkat said in a
statement announcing the gift. The campus in Emek Haarazim, in the northwest
part of the Israeli capital, is scheduled to
open in the summer.
Established in collaboration with the Jerusalem Foundation and the Jerusalem Development Company-Moriah, the campus will include soccer fields, a
dual-use U.S. regulation football and soccer field, locker
rooms and administrative offices, a central pedestrian
thoroughfare, parking and an access road, with plans to
add other facilities.
The Kraft Family Sports Campus allows me to invest in
two things that I have always been very passionate about:
My love of Israel and my support for youth athletics and
team sports, especially American football, Kraft said.
He added that team sports help unify those who
might otherwise be divided by cultural differences and
are proven to develop leadership.
The Kraft Family Field in Sacher Park in Jerusalem
already plays host to American football.
Last May, Kraft received an honorary doctorate from
Yeshiva University.
Robert Kraft represents not only success in business,
but is a true Jewish leader who embodies our values of
kindness, goodness, generosity to the broader community and tremendous support for the State of Israel,
Richard Joel, the president of Yeshiva University, the
flagship institution of modern Orthodoxy, said in a statement. His success on and off the field, his profound

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22 JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017

New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady and owner Robert Kraft

ELSA/GETTY IMAGES

Super Bowl

Kraft praised
Trump for his
emotional
support after
Krafts wife, Myra,
died in 2011.
humanity, his willingness to stand up
for the Jewish people and Jewish causes
make him an ideal role model for our
students.
In conferring an honorary degree
upon Kraft, Joel praised him for practicing a philanthropy that did not stop
with Israel or Jewish causes; it has actually spread far beyond to causes including education, child and women issues,
cancer research, Jewish-Christian dialogue, youth sports, and many more.
You model for each of us what it means
to wear our Jewishness with pride.
Kraft spoke emotionally about his late
father, Harry Kraft, who he said would
have been thrilled to see him so honored. Watching his son deliver the commencement address at Yeshiva would be
far more rewarding to him than all of our
Super Bowl successes combined, he said.
Addressing the graduates, Kraft called
on them to take responsibility for the
state of the world in which they live. As
my father said to me, which I think about
every day of my life, At the end of every

day, as we lay our head on our pillow,


you should ask yourselves a simple question: are the people you touched today
richer and better for having known you?
Go forward from here, my friends, and
make peoples lives richer and better
because they have known all of you.
Earlier last year, Kraft called Donald Trump a very close friend of mine
for over two decades a day before the
Super Tuesday primaries.
In a statement provided to the Boston Globe, Kraft said he is not comfortable discussing politics publicly, but I
am very comfortable talking about my
friendships with people who happen to
be in politics.
The statement came on the same day
the Anti-Defamation League reported
that the Rev. Louis Farrakhan praised
Trump for not taking campaign contributions from Jews and days after former Ku Klux Klan leader David Duke
endorsed the billionaire real estate
magnate. Trump later disavowed the
endorsement.
In his statement to the Boston Globe,
Kraft said he and Trump have had a
lot of fun together socially and worked
together on a number of philanthropic
events.
Kraft praised Trump for his emotional
support after Krafts wife, Myra, died in
2011.
He was one of the few people who
went out of their way and went above
and beyond to assist me through the
most difficult time in my life, he said.

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JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017 23

Super Bowl
Who won?
FROM PAGE 7

alert about the next College Championship online tryout.


Q: How did Mr. Paley find out about the Jeopardy! test
in September?
A: 50.
Q: How many answers/questions are on the qualifying test?
A: 15 seconds.
Q: How much time is allotted for offering each response?
A: Sunday, October 23 (Hoshana Raba on the Jewish calendar)

at a hotel in midtown Manhattan.


Q: When and where did Mr. Paley audition after acing the
qualifying test? (The audition originally was scheduled for Saturday the 22nd, but Mr. Paley requested and received an exception in deference to his Sabbath observance.)
A: Because it was a random number in California.
Q: Why did Mr. Paley hesitate to answer the phone call in
early December telling him the good news about his acceptance
to the College Championship? (I thought it was a telemarketer,
he said.)
A: 15 and one alternate.

Q: How many contestants were chosen for the College Championship?


A: Trust your timing with the buzzer and have a funny
backup answer ready in case you dont know the Final
Jeopardy response.
Q: What advice did Mr. Paley receive from an Orthodox former Jeopardy! contestant he contacted before
the taping?
A: Reference books; lists of famous books and authors;
three AP review books on American, European and world
history; a couple of pop culture books (like 1,001 Movies You Must See before You Die); a list of the 25 top TV
shows of 2015.
Q: What were some of the sources Mr. Paley consulted
to prepare for the quiz show?
A: Word association.
Q: What is Mr. Paleys most effective way of memorizing
facts? (For example, something about the title of a book
will allow me to associate it with the author, he said. I
really dont have the greatest memory. It works better for
trivia. For school exams I need to study a lot.)
A: Peanut butter and jelly.

Stronger
FROM PAGE 15

My parents didnt put any pressure on me. I went


to seek some advice from people at my Orthodox
high school, and I got two answers. One was that you
may not go into a Conservative shul no mater what.
Well, maybe if you have to go the bathroom. The
other answer was I could go but I shouldnt daven.
From the perspective of kibud av vem, honoring
my parents, I cant shun my fathers shul. The other
option, to go and not daven, seemed to me unacceptable from the perspective of ahavat Yisrael, Jewish
peoplehood, she said.
So she went with her compromise: Three weeks
Orthodox, one week Conservative.
That worked fine until 10th or 11th grade, when the
self-appointed Orthodox police came up to me and
said, I heard sometimes you daven in your fathers
shul. You cant call yourself Orthodox anymore.
I think he was expecting me to either defend that
what I was doing was Orthodox, or say hes right and
I should totally jettison kibud av vem to be Orthodox.
He didnt expect the third path. I looked at him and
said, Okay, Im not Orthodox.
Now, if someone asks if Im Orthodox, Ill say, I
dont know. It depends on who you ask. The question
is why are you asking? Whats the question behind the
question? Tell me what youre asking and Ill be able
to answer.
Rabbi Ethan Tucker, whose father, Gordon Tucker,
is a influential Conservative rabbi, was one of the
founders of Machon Hadar. He resists denominational
labels.
I wonder whether the category of Orthodox offers
us a group thats hard to stay a part of, he said. In a
world in which it is very easy to dissolve into your own
completely autonomous self, you can say this group
has tough requirements and I made it. Im not always
sure its so healthy for the religious environment that
creates, but its undoubtedly part of the allure.
If you say youre Orthodox because of the community, I would say, a community for what, around
what? If youre looking for a community that will ask
the same sort of questions you do, Facebook is fairly
sufficient. If all you wanted was a place where women
could receive an aliyah at a Shabbat morning davening, thats been done for many decades now in many
24 JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017

Super Bowl
Q: What kind of sandwich did Mr. Paley eat often during his five days in Los Angeles because he neglected to
arrange for kosher meals?
A: In high school, Mr. Paley was a state finalist in
this contest.
Q: What is the National Geographic Geography Bee?
A: In high school, Mr. Paley was a regional finalist in
this contest.
Q: What is the Scripps National Spelling Bee?
A: The Entrepreneurship and Biotechnology Club,
theEruv student chesed network, and Active Minds.
Q: In which Yeshiva University student organizations
is Mr. Paley active? (Hes president of the Entrepreneurship and Biotechnology Club; founder of theEruv, which
organizes volunteer initiatives in the greater Washington
Heights community, such as packing at a local food pantry and sponsoring a Shabbat lunch at a nursing home,
and he is a board member of YUs branch of Active Minds,
a national organization that raises awareness for mental
health on college campuses.)
A: Americas Favorite Quiz Show.
Q: What is the trademarked slogan of Jeopardy!?

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synagogues in the U.S. The reason this room, this JOFA


conference exists is many people are looking for that
plus peer reinforcement around Shabbat observance.
If you look at what you want community for, the only
question is will you build something on the ground
that does it?
Dr. Yehuda Kurtzer, head of the North American
office of the Shalom Hartman Institute, was raised
Orthodox. It has taken me a long time to get to the
place to ask why is it still a value to be thought of as
serious by Orthodox Jews even if Im not Orthodox,
he said.
Orthodoxy is resisting the criticism that comes
from outside. You have to be within the club to be
an effective critic. Its a bigotry of low expectations.
Its hard for those who are policing the boundary to
engage the criticism of people who are not inside it.
I want to challenge the Orthodox community as to
why it holds the line around Orthodox identity. What
would it need to do to take the moral, political, and
social criticism thats coming its way? Does the label
speak to the complex identities of the people who
want to be part of the label, or is it becoming coercive
and painful? I have had to endure the pain of leaving
behind the safety and comfort of the label that meant
something for me for a long time, he said.
But Rabbi Shmuel Hain of Young Israel Ohab Zedek
of North Riverdale argued for sticking with the Orthodox label.
If you want to be a change agent in the Orthodox
community, sometimes the more difficult choice is
staying in the Orthodox community and trying to be
that change agent, he said.
Thats not the only reason a person can decide
to identify strongly as Orthodox. There can be theological reasons. There can be familial and sociological
reasons.
But its critical for there to be a voice within the
Orthodox community that believes in scholarship
and critical thinking, that takes seriously the insights
of postmodernism and the like. I support those who
decide they cant abide the Orthodox label because
of some of the things Yehuda described. Yet for
some of us its important to feel that there is indeed
a lot of work that must be done within the Orthodox
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JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017 25

Cover Story

At a Stage Right rehearsal of Alice in Wonderland,


Deb Roberts talks to Noa Lavi, playing the White
Queen, as the Red Queen (Rani Ogden), the Mad Hatter
(Avia Paz), and the Cheshire Cat (Liri Raz) look on.

Theater, magic, and love


Deborah Roberts,
head of the
drama department
at the Kaplen JCC,
talks about
her life and art

26 JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017

JOANNE PALMER
he magic of theater.
Yeah yeah yeah.
Its a clich, right?
Underneath the glitter
and tinsel and heavy
pancake makeup, and
the actors whose spit
you see if you sit too
close, its all make-believe, right?
Except sometimes no, its real magic.
Under the glitter and tinsel and makeup
and spit are real insights in the human
condition, real camaraderie among players, real growth in each actor. Real love.
Very real magic.
It is not an overstatement to say that
Deborah Roberts, the longtime head of the
drama department at the Kaplen JCC on
the Palisades in Tenafly, has changed the
lives, the dreams, and the career paths of
many of the children, teenagers, and even
adults she has cast, worked with, listened

to, and directed over the many years she


has been at the JCC.
Debs path to the JCC in some ways was
logical, but she is not a typical JCC staff
member.
She was born as Deborah Smith in
North Carolina; her father, Russell Smith,
founded the art department at the University of North Carolina, and her mother,
Ruth Hadfield Smith, was in the Carolina
Playmakers Repertory Company, which
still flourishes today.
Her backstory sounds tantalizingly nineteenth century, although its kick-off event
was in 1906. Her little English grandmother, Isabel Hadfield, was an actress;
her father, George Gill, was a bookseller
in London, Deb said. (He also was a publisher, whose company was called George
Gill and Sons.) She ran away from home to
join the theater, and she was disinherited.
Then he relented, took her back, and said,
I will send you a governess, not a chaperone, a governess, Deb said, to lend her

legitimacy and my grandmother said No


no no, you cant do that. Only women who
have something to hide have governesses.
Soon she married Henry J. Hadfield, the
manager of the company shed run away to
join, who later became Debs grandfather.
The Hadfields moved across the Atlantic,
and Henry played Macbeth, and offered a
performance called Evenings with Shakespeare, thrilling audiences with monologues. They had one child, Debs mother,
Ruth. But soon Henry developed tuberculosis; he went to a sanitarium in Saranac
Lake, in upstate New York, and his wife
and daughter moved close by. My mother
learned to skate up there, Deb said, in
that land of many lakes and long winters.
But when Ruth was 12, her father died.
Isabel Hadfield knew the president of
Smith College, a Scot shed met when she
still lived in England. He gave my grandmother a job, Deb said. Isabel and Ruth
lived in an off-campus house with Smith
students, and Isabel was more or less

Cover Story

their dorm mother.


Ruth started college at Smith but left
partway through, lured by the theater.
Her mother wouldnt let her, Deb said.
Ironically enough, she said it was a terrible life. But she was a terrific actress.
Soon, she married Russell Smith.
Debs father came from a family with
roots deep into American history; she
qualifies as a Daughter of the American
Republic she can trace her ancestry
back to before the American Revolution
but never cared to join, she said (but
only when asked, and with a reluctant
laugh). He grew up in Concord, Massachusetts, a profoundly historic town, and
graduated from Harvard College and then
from Harvards architecture school. After
a stint as an architect, he devoted his life
to the arts.

Midsummer Nights Dream,


Regan in King Lear, and one
of the madwomen in Madwoman
of Chaillot, Deb said. She didnt play
leads, but hefty supporting roles.
Deb went to private schools on
scholarship a progressive school
called Shady Hill and then the Milton
Academy, where she was a day student
and then, like her mother (and in so
many ways Deb is like her mother) to
Smith, where she majored in religion
and minored in art.
Shes always been committed to religion, she said. Once, at a conference
on religion, I remember having a religious experience, where I felt somehow
surrounded by light. At dusk, we went
to a hilltop, and I remember feeling the
presence of God so strongly. Sometimes
she still feels warmth in
her hands, she said, and
the ability to heal comes
along with it. But she cannot control that power in
any way, she added; she
cannot summon or direct
it, has no idea what to do
with it, and most often
chooses to ignore it.
There was no theater
program at Smith, but
during the summers, Deb acted with the
Peterborough Players, earning her Actors
Equity card when she played the sister in
the Diary of Anne Frank.
I didnt know what I wanted to do, but
I knew that I didnt want to act, Deb said.
When I went to college, I told myself that
I wanted to leave it all behind. Mom was a
very complicated person, and I think that
you dont necessarily want to become
your mother. So it wasnt my goal at all.
I wanted to be a doctor. I took premed courses. I did well on the math SATs,
and I said Okay, here I am at college, and
what does God want me to do? I was at
the stage where I said that a lot. And I
decided that God wanted me to be a doctor. I took the MCATS, and I did just fine.
I graduated from college summa
cum laude in 1959, and I was ready to
go to medical school and then somehow I worked at this summer theater and
did really well at it. And, well, as Deb
says, somehow by now she is very much
like her mother.
First, though, she went to a graduate program at Union Theological Seminary, just up Broadway from Columbia
University. The program was religious

Two of Debs children,


Bryan and Hannah
Roberts, pose by the
Brooklyn Bridge; Deb
took the picture for a
photography class.

Henry J. Hadfield, Debs


grandfather, an actor,
asks Is this a dagger
which I see before me?

Deborah Smith when she


graduated from high school.

Her family was


Anglican in England,
and Episcopalian here.
But shes always been
drawn to Judaism.
As most likely is clear to readers but
often is not clear to JCC members Deb
is not Jewish. Her family was Anglican
in England, and Episcopalian here. But
shes always been drawn to Judaism,
and she thinks or at least hopes she
knows why. After my mom died, in 1982,
my dad said to my brother but not to
me, and I would have asked more questions that he thought that she was Jewish. It was because of some of the things
she had said about her childhood. I think
it was her mother who was Jewish her
mother had several different names, they
got changed along the way.
(Its all very Daniel Deronda, and how
much better could that get?)
So Debs early childhood was spent in
North Carolina. She remembers that
I spent time on Manteo on the Outer
Banks and that every time it rained we
would put pots under all the leaks under
the roof. Then the family Deb has one
sibling, her brother, Harry Smith, who is a
psychoanalyst moved to Boston, where
her father became the head of the Boston
Museum School of Arts, and her mother
acted and directed in local theater companies. I remember her playing Hermia in

Debs grandmother, Isabel Gill


Hadfield, ran away to the theater.

Bryan Roberts, her son.

Debs mother, Ruth Hadfield Smith,


before she married.
JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017 27

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Cover Story
drama, and she traveled the country performing Christian drama. When she was done, she got a job in New
York, and a miniscule apartment, like something about
of My Sister Eileen, just more uptown. She took acting classes, went from job to job and tiny sublet to teenier sublet. She went to England to act, had the kinds
of adventures that young women in their 20s had in
the 1960s, and eventually came home. She was introduced to Dick Roberts more formally Dr. Richard, now
a newly retired internist who specializes in infectious
diseases, spent most of his career teaching at Cornell
Medical School, and still spends some part of most days
continuing his research.
And, dear reader, she married him.
Deb had three children Bryan, Gwyneth, and Hannah. About 1972, the family moved to Alpine, at the
estate called, then as now, Rio Vista. Then, it held the
main house and outbuildings; the Robertses lived in the
old dairy. Their rent, Deb recalls, was $150 a month,
and it was on a month-to-month basis, although they
lived there for about a decade. Other families lived in
the other outbuildings the stables, the cottages that
had housed the large staff that served the main house
and they formed a community that Deb remembers with
great fondness. And then, in the early 80s, the estate
was developed, and everyone left.
I was a full-time mother, Deb said. And then one of
my friends got me into teaching at Bergen Stage. That
was it. From there, at the invitation of friends shed
made through Bergen Stage, she moved to the JCC, and

Deb and Dick Roberts with their daughter Gwyneth.

shes been there every since; shes headed the drama


department for most of that time.
Its offerings have expanded; there is a large roster
of classes for children, ranging from very young ones
through teenagers to adults. There are classes in straight
drama, musical theater, and filmmaking, among other
things; there are classes for would-be professionals that
lead, with surprising frequency, to careers in the arts.

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28 JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017

Tweedle Dum (A.J. Horowitz), Alice (Neta Segal), Tweedle Dee (Avia Paz), and Dinah the kitten (Ella
Baraket) dance onstage at the JCC.

Cover Story
Deb has a coherent philosophy. I feel that drama can
be a life-changing experience for children, she said.
They can believe in themselves in ways that they never
thought possible. You watch them grow.
When you see children on stage, you can see two
kinds. Some of them are thinking, Oh, what am I going to
do? Those are the shy ones. They tend to be much more
truthful. You have to help them believe that, yes, this is
you, Alice, drinking tea with the Mad Hatter. You dont
have to pretend, you just have to be it. Thats much more
exciting and real, and everyone will believe what it is that
you feel.
And then there are the highly energetic, wildly creative
ones, who just love being on stage.
Note that there are no children, in Debs universe,
who are bad, cold, or unable to believe in magic. Its not
at all that shes so starry-eyed that she cant see clearly;
Deb has a quick, jagged-edged wit and startling clarity
of vision. But its always tempered with goodness and
often with love.
Deb does not pick the plays that her childrens classes
work on and it is fair to say that although she loves all
the areas her department offers, her heart is most with
the children until a few sessions in. I chose plays that fit
the mix and complexion of the class, she said; she gauges
their interests, abilities, and sophistication, as well as how
many of what size parts each offers.
She also does a great deal of tailoring on the plays she
directs. For one thing, she breaks down some big parts
so that more kids can have more opportunities for songs,

dialogues, and monologues. If someone is good at learning lines, I can enlarge their part. If it turns out that theyre
not so good, I dont give as much to do.
And also, she said, values are very important. In fact,
they are overwhelmingly important. She works on the
plays to tone down the meanness, the misogyny, the bullying that are part of so many of them.
Think, for example, of Grease, where the heroine,
Sandy, gets to be cool and get the guy by shedding her
innocence. Her sweetness has to go. In Debs version, it
doesnt but as an audience member, youd never know
it. The sweetness that remains is never ever allowed to
turn to treacle. Kids love Grease, Deb said, and she
often produces it. A mom told me that her 11-year-old
daughter, who was in it, invited four of her friends over
to see the movie, which they had never seen. Shock and
dismay ensued.
In Debs version, I adapt it to something that we can
enjoy together. When she divides the parts, Sandy is still
Sandy, and all the girls who play her still have all the Sandy
qualifier, but we pool the lines and songs and share them.
And I try to have the song make sense to the person who
is singing it. We try to share the wealth.
People who come to see Grease see that it is the real
Grease.
And then there is, say, Carousel, which has brilliant
music but whose message wife abuse is okay, really, if
the abuser is sorry in the end, even if the end comes after
he dies, and at any rate his wife should know that he really
loves her is irredeemable. Deb never produces never

Doug Chitel and Susan Vardy play John and Abigail


Adams in the Palisades Players version of 1776.

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Cover Story
would produce Carousel.
It is important, she said, for families
to know that theyre safe here. That
includes religiously observant families,
who are vigilant about what theyd like
their children exposed to, but it is not
limited to them. All children have to be
safe; they need to be able to expand their
imaginations in a protected environment.
Among the theaters values and this
is both Debs theater and the outside
worlds is respect for all different types
of people, and all kinds of talent. People
Kiara Lazarus Saxena
Ariel Abergel
Dr. Sandra Gold
become friends. A bond occurs when you
are in a show together and rely on one
I was a lost boy in Peter Pan, she said. I ended up falling
another. That bond is priceless. If you can use it for good,
in love with the theater, and that ended up being my route.
that is one of the most important things you can do.
I started taking Debs classes seriously when I was a little
She told the story of a boy who is definitely challenged.
older, 9, 10, 11, 12. During those formative years I was sort
When he started in her program, no one would talk to him.
of introverted and shy and kind of insecure, so being able
Later, things changed. At one point, one little girl looks at
to be in shows and play characters was an outlet, a kind of
him, and she says, I think Ive known you from somewhere
catharsis. I was able to be so fearless when I started doing
before. Maybe its just that you look like my best friend. This
her shows.
is a boy who no one would talk to two months earlier.
I think that the more secure I became with myself, someDeb also relishes teaching adults. Ive taught a play reading class for years and years, she said. Its so much fun!
how, the more difficult it was to be on stage. Being on stage
The only way people leave the class is by moving away. We
builds your confidence; it is such a rush, especially when
have extremely intelligent people in the class, and they
you are a kid, experiencing it purely. You have a chance to
come up with insightful ideas. The group often studies the
escape yourself. You are your own instrument.
work of contemporary playwrights.
And then, related but different, there is such a sense
Palisades Players, another of the departments programs,
of community, Kiara added. I never lost the love of that
took advantage of the election year to offer 1776, a pierccommunity.
ing look into the politics of idealism and compromise, both
Deb took it very seriously, she continued. You didnt
at our nations founding and by implication today. It is a
ever think that she thought that this was cute. She was really
powerful play, Deb said.
invested in it, not as a cute childrens thing. She didnt treat
Kiara Lazarus Saxena of Tenafly, now an undergraduus like little adults, and she also didnt talk down to us.
ate student at NYU, began taking courses with Deb Roberts
Kiara is studying drama at the Lee Strasberg Institute, part
when she was about 6 years old. I think that the first year
of NYUs Tisch School. She credits Deb with that. I came

30 JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017

out of my shell with Deb. Once I got into


high school and wasnt in her classes any
more, I really wanted to focus on academics. I didnt think I would do theater any more. I didnt realize how much
I missed it until my junior year. Then I
saw how much it affected who I was and
how I communicated with people. Thats
when I realized what I really wanted to
do.
Ariel Abergel of Fort Lee, now a high
school junior, worked with Deb until he
aged out of her childrens classes; this
summer, he co-produced the JCCs version of My Name is Asher Lev. The play
sold out for every performance.
Deb is pretty different from other theater educators Ive come across throughout my childhood, he
said. She doesnt care as much about putting on a
show that she can show off, but instead she cares
deeply about each kid having a great time, growing
intellectually and as an artist. She is invested in each
kids development, and its hard to find that in the theater education world.
Im sure that if it werent for my years with Deb
I wouldnt be as confident, as poised, and as determined as I am today, he continued. She made clear
that there is a world outside the JCC that is waiting.
Deb doesnt treat kids like kids who she is being
paid to watch, Ariel said. She treats them like artists, who deserve every opportunity. Even if they
dont enter the theater, I think that every kid who has
worked with Deb will use what theyve gotten from
her throughout their lives.
I dont know what magic it is she does that makes
kids so comfortable on a stage and in front of an audience, but she does it, Ariel concluded.
Ariel is preternaturally grown up for his age, but
he has used the confidence that he got from Deb to
allow him to move in directions that surprise him. Hes
know all along that he wants a career in the theater,
but more immediately, and perhaps to his surprise,
he also chose to run for the student government at
school. He is now president of the student body at the
Solomon Schechter School of Westchester, in Hartsdale, N.Y. His plan is to bring the school more arts, particularly more theater.
Dr. Sandra Gold of Englewood, a psychologist, advocate of humanism in medical school education, and a
past president of the JCC, has known Deb for decades.
My kids went through Debs program, and they attribute their ability to stand up and talk to people, to
present themselves as they do, to the experiences they
had there, she said. Deb didnt look for stars. She
found a place for every child who came into her program. Whether or not they had talent was irrelevant.
It was the experience of being part of this crowd, this
team, of putting on this performance together.
She was there to enhance the life experience
of each child. As an educator, I found it thrilling to
watch.
But its not that the product was sacrificed for the
process, Sandra added. Deb has such a high standard.
I never saw a production that wasnt good. I never saw
one that didnt hold together, or that I thought needed
more work.
How she could get these disparate kids for every
production, some seasoned, some new, I dont know,
but she could mold them and influence them so they
work well together and feel good about themselves.
Every kid will get a part thats good for them no
matter what their mothers think, she concluded.

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Jewish Standard S-3

Bat mitzvah surprise................................................. 4


Two sisters trip to Israel deepens their Jewish connection

A note of thanks....................................................... 6
Bat mitzvah girl expresses gratitude to all

Celebrating the new membership............................ 8


The family that dresses together............................ 10
Local fashionistas outfit the generations for the occasion

The partys oy-ver................................................. 12


Surviving a case of post-bar mitzvah stress disorder

Front and center..................................................... 15


Table displays bring aesthetics and meaning to the event

Making a celebration a meaningful celebration..... 17


Of past and future bar mitzvahs............................. 18
The wheels of time and family keep turning

When the political becomes personal..................... 19


The red, white and blue colors convention theme bar mitzvah

C AT E R E R S

Rebecca, left, and Erika Nathanson


following Erikas bat mitzvah at the
Western Wall in Jerusalem.

Bat mitzvah
surprise

Two sisters trip to Israel


deepens their Jewish connection

Heidi Mae Bratt


t started off as a fun, and yes, free
trip to Israel, as is the case for so
many young Jewish travelers who
join the successful Birthright Israel
trips, the 10-day heritage tour for 18to 26-year-olds.
Erika and Rebecca Nathanson,
two sisters from Glen Rock, were
very excited about their first-time
visit to Israel, with an itinerary of criss-cross
touring through the countrys north and
south, with highlights including stops in
Haifa, Caesaria, Tzvat, Tiberias, Masada, the
Negev, Tel Aviv, and of course, Jerusalem.
I had many friends and colleagues who
had gone on Birthright, said Erika, 22, who
works in IT staffing. I was planning to go
with my friend, and we were just trying to
figure out a good time to do the trip.

It was at that point that Rebecca, 20, a


sophomore and graphics design student at
Philadelphia University, asked to join her sister and her friend, and make it a threesome
for the December trip.
Since the Birthright trips began in the winter of 1999, more than 500,000 young people
from 64 countries have participated in the
program. About 80 percent of participants
are from the United States and Canada.
From the very beginning of their trip,
Rebecca said, she was experiencing some
kind of kismet. At their point of departure
from Newark International Airport, Rebecca
made fast friends with a young Israeli woman
who was returning to Israel after spending
time at the Rhode Island School of Design.
This woman appeared to mirror her. The
woman was a designer, just as she was; had
food particularities, just as she had; and there
was just a connection between them that

t
d
a

e
s

.
e
d

seemed very familiar.


Once she got to Israel, Rebecca said the
feeling of connectedness deepened. She
felt like she fit. Israel felt so familiar. The
streets. The culture. It felt like we were in
a different part of America, not in a different country.
And it was a lot of fun.
But the biggest ah ha moment was yet
to come.
The group of already bonded 40 young
people went to the Western Wall for Sabbath services on Friday night. It was a
night of incredible confluences. It was the
Sabbath. It was Christmas Eve. And it was
Chanukah.
The group of young women was led
to the womans section of the wall. They
were asked to keep their eyes closed until
they reached the wall. And then, for the
first time, they were face to face with the
Western Wall.
I was very nervous to go and pray at
the wall, said Rebecca. I was standing
one person away, and it felt so powerful.
Like a magnet, I was attracted to the Wall.
I felt God present. It was so evident He was
there. I felt so close.
That moment after she prayed, she said
she felt overwhelmed.
I stepped back and started talking to a
girl in the group, and I was sobbing. I didnt
know why. It was just so breathtaking. I
never witnessed such passion, and being
accepted as part of the family in Israel,
said Rebecca, who had been bat mitzvahed
when she was 13 years old in 2009.
That same night, something also was
coming to the surface for Erika.
She had been moved by the magic and
mystery of the mystical city of Tzvat, but in
Jerusalem at the Western Wall she came to
realize, I thought it was the most perfect
time to receive my bat mitzvah.
Erika was a bit older than Rebecca
when she started synagogue classes. It
felt strange to be 15 and not 13 and have a
bat mitzvah. She felt as if she missed that
bat mitzvah moment of her own peers.
So unlike Rebecca, she did not have bat
mitzvah.
But I had been thinking about it for a
long time, Erika said.
And with the encouragement of
Rebecca, and in the moment of deep feeling at the Western Wall in Israel, Erika,
along with another young woman and
two young men, accepted their bat and

Erika, left, and Rebecca Nathanson


enjoying their Birthright Trip in Israel.

From left, grandmother, the late


Isabelle Killian, and their other
grandmother, Annette Nathanson,
Rebecca, Erika, and parents Karen
and Robert Nathanson at Rebeccas
2009 bat mitzvah.

bar mitzvah that evening.


It was Christmas. And it was Chanukah,
and I was at the Western Wall. I couldnt
not get my bat mitzvah, Erika said.
She was asked to address the group and
share what becoming a bat mitzvah meant
to her.
I told them that people view Birthright as a free trip to Israel. And honestly,
I thought about it like that as well, said
Erika. But after I met so many Israelis,
and met the soldiers, and members of the
IDF, and felt the emotions and connection
to the land, and I saw why this land is so
special, I thought differently about being
here. It was incredible. I felt like I was with
family, and having the bat mitzvah was
one of the best decisions.
After her speech, Erika and the others
were celebrated with song, and candy
thrown their way, and of course, being
lifted in a chair.
The bat mitzvah at the Western Wall was
a surprise to her. This wasnt exactly what
she had planned.

Everyone on Birthright gets a heightened sense of who they are, said Rabbi
Zalman Chein, one of the rabbis at the
Chabad at Binghamton University who
joined the Birthright group. The Birthright trip helps them become aware of
who they are.
If someone did not celebrate their bar
or bat mitzvah in the past, or if they were
not aware of their ( Jewish) responsibility,
and if I feel there is an interest, we offer a
bar or bat mitzvah, the rabbi said.
I explain to the participants that every
Jewish girl at 12, and every Jewish boy at 13
automatically becomes a bat or bar mitzvah, a daughter or son of mitzvah, he
said. The celebration marks arrival at this
milestone.
Becoming a bat mitzvah is a significant
step in a persons path, said Rabbi Chein.
Each person has their own journey.
If it was a surprise for Erika, it was a bigger surprise for her parents, Karen and
Robert Nathanson.
But a happy surprise at that.

I am so excited for them, said their


mother, Karen, who was raised Catholic,
but gave her daughters a Jewish education
when they became interested in Judaism.
When you have a mixed marriage it is
difficult, said Ms. Nathanson, whose husband is Jewish. So if this is who they want
to be, I am so very happy for them.
For the future, Erika said her bat mitzvah is a milestone that she would like to
use as a way to mindfully take on mitzvahs and do good. I want to practice doing
good and giving to others.
And for Rebecca, she has plans to go to
Israel for design school. She also is planning to deepen her study of Judaism and
undergo an Orthodox conversion so I can
be accepted by all Jews.
She has also taken upon herself greater
observance for the Sabbath. She prepares
her food in advance. She doesnt watch
television. She turns her phone off and
tries to minimize her use of electricity.
Birthright has opened my eyes,
Rebecca said.

S-6 Jewish Standard

WINTER 2017

A note of thanks

Bat mitzvah girl expresses gratitude to all


Emuna Braverman

omething wonderful happened


to me. It wasnt something big.
It wasnt something dramatic. It
wasnt something expected. But it
was something lovely and wonderful a
small gesture that made a big difference.
I went to a bat mitzvah, a celebration for
my friends daughter. It was a beautiful and
moving occasion, as a bat mitzvah should
be. And perhaps it was even more emotional because the couple had struggled a

bat mitzvahs worth of years (as the father


put it) to give birth to this child. There was
extra joy in the air.
But there was something else also.
Something much more basic and much
more important. There was gratitude.
Now weve all heard many bar and bat
mitzvah speeches. Everyone thanks their
parents (right after the out-of-town relatives and a list of where they came from).
Some people (not nearly enough) thank
the Almighty. Sometimes its heartfelt.
Sometimes its pro forma. Sometimes its

somewhere in the middle. And sometimes


its hard to tell if they really mean it.
But this young girl did something special and unique that clearly emanated
straight from her heart. She wrote a thank
you note to each of the guests before she
received her gifts! Because the note wasnt
about the presents, it was an expression
of what this particular attendee meant to
her. And it wasnt brief, a mere line or two.
It wasnt generic. It was a few paragraphs
describing the role our family had played
in her life, reliving some shared experiences and memories and expressing gratitude for the very specific ways in which we
had enhanced her life.
It was unbelievable.
There were 115 guests (I know because I
set the tables!) so you can imagine the time
and effort involved. It was very impressive.
Much as we try to avoid it, most bar mitzvah boys and bat mitzvah girls get a little
(or a lot) caught up in themselves. With all
that focus and attention, its hard not to.
This is a great way to avoid the trap of selfcenteredness. Its the perfect way to teach
our children about showing appreciation.

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Its a powerful means of giving our children


an understanding of the meaning of community, that it really does take a village.
The party was a lot of fun. The speeches
were simultaneously funny and moving
(we expected no less since the father is a
writer). But what impacted me the most
were those notes. When the rest of the evening fades, Ill remember those kind and
thoughtful missives. I was touched by what
the guest of honor wrote to me and really
taken with the idea.
I think its something we should all
incorporate into our childrens bar/bat
mitzvah celebrations. I wish Id thought
of it before my girls had their bat mitzvah
celebrations. It would have enhanced and
deepened everyones experience of the
day, and no one more so than the bat mitzvah girl herself.
Aish.com
Emuna Braverman has a law degree from the
University of Toronto and a masters degree
in clinical psychology with an emphasis
on marriage and family therapy from
Pepperdine University. She lives in Los Angeles
with her family.

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I S T O R Y

S-8 Jewish Standard

WINTER 2017

Celebrating the new membership


Yanki Tauber

e Jews are a funny people. We


celebrate the weirdest things.
Everyones heard of end-of-theschool-year parties, graduation
parties, and retirement parties. But who
ever throws a get-to-work party?
Let me explain. Imagine that you have
this dream job thats the envy of all your
friends. Then, one day you receive a summons to the bosss office. The conversation
goes something like this:
Boss: Have a seat.
You: Thank you.
Boss: Youve been herewhat is it,
twelve years now?
You: Yeah, its almost that already. You
guys take such good care of me . . .
Boss: We pay you a comfortable living
wage, plus full health benefits, free daycare and spa privileges, 31 days annual
paid vacation . . .
You: Yes. Im truly thankful.
Boss: And what are your duties and
responsibilities?

You: Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Ive no


duties or responsibilities.
Boss: You dont even have to come to
work, if you dont want to.
You: Oh, but I do. Lots of times. Its fun.
I hang around the office, see how things
are done. Sometimes they even let me help
out. Youd be surprised at how much Ive
learned. And I participate in all the company banquets and outings. I wouldnt
miss those for anything . . .
Boss: Well, young lady, the partys over.
You: W-what do you mean?
Boss: The partys over. Here, take this
manual. It spells out your obligations
You: Uh, its sorta big and heavy. There
must be almost a thousand pages in this
book
Boss: Actually, what youre holding in
your hand is a very basic summary. The
rest is in the library downstairs . . .
You: Oh, I know the library. There are
tens of thousands of volumes there ...
Boss: Well, were doing important work
here. And, starting tonight at sundown,
youre going to be expected to be doing

your part. Youll begin by following instructions, but to do your job right, youll also
need to understand the whys and the hows
behind those instructions . . . Youve picked
up quite a bit in your time here, but we have
guys whove been here all their adult lives
and are still learning. Anyway, congratulations and good luck. Ill be watching your
progress over the next 108 years
You: . . . a hundred and eight years?
Boss: At least. Hopefully longer. Oh, by
the way, dont forget to pick up your new
ID tag at the front office on your way out.
After a conversation like that, would
you run home and throw a party to celebrate? My daughter did. This week, she
celebrated her bat mitzvah, the day that
she became twelve years old.
A bat mitzvah is not an oversized birthday party. Leahs had eleven of those
already. This is very different. What she
celebrated was the fact that on the eve
of her twelfth birthday she became bat
mitzvaha person who under Torah law is
commanded, obligated and responsible to
fulfill the mitzvot of the Torah.

BAR/BAT MITZVAH

She celebrated the fact that the Boss


had called her into the office and told her
that the party was over. Until now, shed
received everything her heart desired
from Above, and was not required to give
anything in return. She was in learning
modehanging around the office, picking up knowledge, getting a feel for how
things are done. Now shes a full-fledged
employee, with a long list of duties and
responsibilities.
Shes delighted. She threw a sumptuous
party for her friends and family. We feasted,
sang and danced, and celebrated the event
as the happiest day of her life to date.
It may be that life as a free lunch has
its attractions. Very quickly, though, it
becomes tedious and meaningless, forcing the free luncher to work harder and
harder. But the fun leaks out faster than the
most vigorous pumper can pump, leaving
one deflated and defeated.
Thats why we Jews dont throw retirement parties. Instead, we celebrate the
day that were handed the big fat book
filled with duties and obligations, and the
ID tag that reads Fully Responsible Member. Because we know that there is nothing more gratifying than being given a life
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B A R / B AT
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MITZVAH WITH A GIFT TO THE
CHILDREN OF AMIT BEIT HAYELED

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or by donating their Bnai Mitzvah money, your child can be
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of Beit Hayeled. These clubs are essential in helping to build up
their confidence, restore their independence, and help them to
develop the strength to overcome past traumas.

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Swimming

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Dance Therapy

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Run a charity car wash at your synagogue/school/home


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child haven for children who cannot
remain in their homes due to a
variety of problems. Children are
paired with surrogate parents and
live in a warm and comfortable
family setting (mishpachtonim). Our
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support they need to help overcome
their traumas with the nurturing
needed to succeed in life. Your child
can help us to provide these special
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JewishStandard
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S-9
Jewish

S-10 Jewish Standard

WINTER 2017

A stunning
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BAR/BAT MITZVAH

The family that dresses together


Local fashionistas outfit the generations for the occasion
Heidi Mae Bratt

hopping for the bar or bat mitzvah is often a family affair. There
are many fashion emporiums that
cater to the customer, young and
old, or older. Or, put another way the
young, and still young-at-heart.
Often, a family will choose to shop in
a boutique that has a history in the community, or in their own family, or where
they can get the kind of attention that they
want in order to make sure that what they
are wearing to their bar and bat mitzvah
is special. The customers range from bar
mitzvah boy, father and grandfather, or
bat mitzvah girl, mother and grandmother.
Staff at the fashion boutiques who help
dress the generations for their simchas
enjoy the experience, and even feel after

they have helped the family members


look their best for the event that they
have a small part of the simcha.
At Emporio, a mens clothing store in
Teaneck, it is not unusual for father and
son to come in to buy their suits together,
as the store has an extensive selection
of fine clothing for both men and boys.
There have also been times that the
grandfather comes in to buy, as well.
When families come in to shop for their
suits, Aryeh Elbaum, visual designer,
merchandiser and salesperson at Emporio, said, we tend to make it a most comfortable family experience.
In addition to its wide array of fashionable formal mens clothing, the store carries boys sizes from 8 to 20.
We have a one-stop shop here for
everybody, Mr. Elbaum said. We also

make sure that the bar mitzvah boy gets


the full treatment. He is going to be on
display, so we help make him feel like a
million bucks. Everyone is happy when
they leave the store.
At Vero Uomo in Englewood owner
Mario Roselli said he often has grandfathers, fathers and boys coming together
to buy their bar mitzvah togs. Right now,
in fact, he said, he is outfitting a particular family in custom-made black tie suits
and in matching dress suits.
I have swatches that I give to the
family to pick out. Whatever the family
wants, he said. He can even pick up colors of the color scheme in a yarmulke or
other accessories.
The store also sells plenty of off the
rack brand names.
At Monte Carlo in Westwood, owner

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Jewish Standard S-11

Diana Yomtobian said she recently outfitted an Israeli family that was bound for
Jerusalem to have the bar mitzvah at the
Western Wall. She dressed the bar mitzvah
boy in a solid, dark blue suit with two different shirts for Friday and Saturday; the
father was set up in a three-piece French
blue suit and the bar mitzvah boys 15-yearold brother was dressed in a navy blue suit
with a subtle red-pinstripe design.
It really was nice, said Ms. Yomtobian. They sort of color coordinated. Ive
known this family for two or three years,
having suited them up for the older sons
bar mitzvah. When I dress (customers
for a simcha), its like Im dressing my own
family. I put a lot of heart into it. And I
think that they sense that.
At Mishelynes Fashions in Teaneck,
owner Sara said that while the store does
not primarily cater to the bat mitzvah girl,
there are young women who fit into the
womens sizes there and who come to
shop at the store with their mothers. One
of the pluses of shopping at Mishelynes
Fashions is that special occasion dresses
can easily be customized to suit the taste
and modesty-factor of some customers.
Sara recalled selling dresses to four generations of women: a great-grandmother, who

Left, the racks are full of clothing for boys, fathers and grandfathers at Emporio in Teaneck. Right, suits galore at Vero
Uomo in Englewood.

was 90, and had been a customer of Mishelynes Fashions for 40 years (the store was
founded by Saras mother a half century
ago); the grandmother, mother and batmitzvah girl. Great-grandmother was outfitted in a beautiful, navy lace chiffon gown;
grandmother wore a silk taffeta charcoal
grey gown; mother bought a lace charcoal
gray gown; and the bat mitzvah girl wore an
ankle-length lace and silk taffeta navy dress.
The shopping experience was a bonding

between the women. Great grandmother


and grandmother, and of course, mother,
had a say over what the bat mitzvah girl
would wear, and the bat mitzvah girl got to
experience a memorable moment having
these women in her family help her dress
up for the milestone occasion.
It was so very close between them and
it was so warm, recalls Sara. There obviously was so much love. And that the great
grandmother was able to have input into

what she was wearing. She was kvelling


that she was there.
Another plus: they were all so nicely
coordinated.
Not only that, but everyone involved
had a lovely experience.
It was such a nice experience for everyone, Sara said. Im a very family-oriented
person. I get a lot of pleasure out of that.
Its very gratifying. They are letting me be
part of the simcha.

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S-12 Jewish Standard

WINTER 2017

BAR/BAT MITZVAH

The partys oy-ver


Surviving a case of
post-bar mitzvah
stress disorder
Judy Gruen

ur youngest son had just celebrated


his bar mitzvah, and I was recovering from a case of Post-Bar Mitzvah
Stress Disorder. This is a seriously
underreported malady, yet shockingly, the
government has yet to allocate a single dollar to research.
Post-Bar Mitzvah Stress Disorder (PBMSD)
usually follows a case of Pre-Bar Mitzvah
Stress Disorder, characterized by speeddialing your caterer several times daily until
you actually hear him chewing antacids
while you speak; zipping around frantically
on errands, leaving you only enough time
to eat large brownies in the car (perversely,

this still causes weight gain); and bursting


into tears with no warning because your little boy is now a newly minted teen who has
the audacity to catapult into puberty before
your very eyes.
My symptoms became acute as the weeks
counted down to The Big Day. The following
diary entries explain why:
Five weeks before the bar mitzvah: The
invitations arrive, but the envelopes wont
seal shut. Wrestling the envelope flaps down
with a hot glue gun for six hours eventually
does the trick. I fail to pare down guest list.
Like a powerful Hollywood party hostess, I
withhold a batch of B-list invitees, pending
the acceptance rates of other guests.
Four weeks and counting: Son is still
growing too fast to buy the suit. He practices
his Torah portion chanting each night, perfecting the reading. But the boy will give his
speech at 90 miles an hour. Is it too late to
hire a speaking coach?
Three weeks: Response cards arrive each
day, many including checks. Son discovers

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S-13 Jewish Standard

that happiness is a positive cash flow! An alarming 90 percent of invitees have accepted! Cannot decide about B-list.
Send to all anyway.
Two weeks: While meeting with caterer, son insists on
a dinner menu of corn dogs and pasta. Fortunately, few
13-year-old boys are on the South Beach Diet. Musician
nags me with repeat calls, urging me to hire his entire
orchestra. I repeatedly refuse, reminding him this is not a
presidential inauguration; its just a bar mitzvah.
One week and a half away: Son still practices speech
faster than a major league pitch. Consider speech printouts on each seat? Seven days away! Musician, magician,
and caterer all need deposits. Consider asking son for loan.
Six days: Should I get a new dress? I had planned to lose
10 pounds for the occasion, but failed to take necessary
actions. Decide to wear ivory colored spring suit, which
still fits. The fraud detection department of my credit card
company calls to warn me of an unusual amount of activity on my account.
Five days: Must get sons suit now. Even if he grows
another two inches this week, it will still fit. Son finds all
formal shirts in the store too scratchy. I snag a hand-medown shirt from the closet, worn at an older brothers bar
mitzvah. Finally, I save money!
Four days: Try to pre-arrange seating for family dinner.
No configuration seems likely to prevent Uncle Harold
from starting up with Cousin Norman aboutwhat was
that fight about, anyway? Pray that Aunt Shirley takes her
meds before arrival. Stock up on my supply of migraine
pills . . . just in case.
Three days: Call everyone who hasnt sent in response
card. Some remind me testily that they did send them in
and I must have lost them. I lose my house keys.
Two days: Caterer calls to report he cant get the petit
fours I had ordered, and a trucking strike on the East
Coast may mean we cant get the sorbet, either. Default to
bakery cookies. Photographer calls with an emergency,
and shell send her trainee instead. Will that be okay?
Day before: I supervise floral delivery to synagogue. Florist with heavy Italian accent assures me they will be stupendous, but doesnt warn me theyre nearly as big as
Mount Sinai and hardly fit through the door. At home, the
phone wont stop ringing. Everyone apologizes, since I must
be so busy, but what time is the party called for? Can they
bring a niece who unexpectedly flew into town? My keys
have not shown up yet, and I lose my spare set as well. Next
move: Climbing through the window to get into the house.
The Big Day: Get up early enough to put in contact
lenses and dress with care. While drinking a quick cup
of coffee in the kitchen, a crisis erupts! The dog rushes
in from the yard, ecstatic at seeing me after an absence
of seven minutes. He leaps up to greet me, festooning my
ivory suit with muddy paw prints! Ive got to leave for synagogue in three minutes, but have no plan B for another
outfit. I race to my room and throw on a dark blue suit
whose jacket wont button all the way.
Son chants his portion from the Torah beautifully. He
looks both adorable and handsome in his suit, straddling
that brief, shining moment between boyhood and manhood. Miraculously, he gives his speech slow enough for
most people to hear. Sometimes, nagging pays off! In his
speech, he thanks his father for taking him to Dodger
games; me for correcting his grammar. He is in his glory,
and I am in mine, even if my dress is too tight.
Four days later: The party goes smoothly. Some computer glitches make the music intermittent, and the silences
are hard to explain. Several people wander into the hall, fill

WINTER 2017

plates with food, and leave. I have never seen these people
before in my life. The desserts are a big hit, especially the
brownies. I could have told them that. Keys still MIA.
Five days later: My sons 15 minutes of fame are over,
and he is returning to life as a mere mortal. And each day,
he continues his deployment into manhood, standing
a little taller, his face and body becoming ever thinner.
The next time I see his chubby cheeks, theyll be on my

BAR/BAT MITZVAH

grandchildren. I am wildly happy that he is not embarrassed to say, I love you, Mom.
I am also nearly wildly happy that my keys finally turned
up in the up in the backyard. My symptoms of Post-Bar
Mitzvah Stress Disorder are dissipating at last. Mazal tov!
Judy Gruen is a writer and editor who specializes in humor. She
is completing her memoir. Visit her at www.judygruen.com.

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Jewish Standard S-15

Front and center


Table displays bring aesthetics and meaning to the event
Heidi Mae Bratt

alloons that are shaped into artful


displays, seasonal or exotic flowers
festooned into garden-like grandeur, or original sculptures or posters that reflect a particular party theme
can center the table at an event such as a
bar or bat mitzvah. They decorate, help to
celebrate, and beautify the event. Centerpieces are often thought to be an important element of the affair. And makers
of the simcha put much stock into these

displays, which will grace the table where


their guests will enjoy a special meal.
When Barbara Selman made a pidyon
haben for her first grandson, Shane Ithan,
at Temple Emanu-El of Closter, she too put
much thought into the centerpieces. The
longtime volunteer and co-chairperson of
the Bergen Reads program, a literacy program by the Jewish Federation of Northern New Jersey, thought to celebrate the
simcha and promote the program that she
has volunteered for by renting the book
centerpieces, which are part of the Bergen

Reads program.
Stacks of real books are artfully arranged
and wrapped in clear wrap, and are customized with balloons, or ribbons, and signage to fit the occasion, and serve as table
centerpieces. The centerpieces available
as table centerpieces and baskets for the
synagogue bimah can be rented for various occasions. They help to raise money
and at the same time raise awareness.
They are so great-looking, and they
promote such a wonderful program, Ms.
Selman said.
The Bergen Reads program enlists

about 160 volunteers who visit nine public elementary schools in Hackensack and
Teaneck and work with students who are
struggling with their reading skills. At
years end, the program presents brand
new books to the students, about 350
youngsters. The money raised by the book
centerpieces helps to purchase the new
books, said Beth Figman, director of Volunteer Services for the Jewish Federation
of Northern New Jersey.
The book centerpieces, as well as the
bimah baskets books arranged to sit on
the bimah are very often rented for bar
and bat mitzvahs, Ms. Figman said.
We have kids who have a passion for
reading and want to do community service, said Ms. Figman. So having the book
centerpieces and bimah baskets at their
events and parties makes perfect sense,
she said. They look great and they do good.
See Front and center page 16

Order Your Flowers for Bar/Bat Mitzvahs, Weddings,


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Every flower purchase
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Members of J-ADD selling their bouquets.

Janice Preschel,
director of
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Food Pantry in
Teaneck, accepts
a basket of food
that adorned the
bimah at the bat
mitzvah of Harlee
Hayden.

Helps ensure a productive


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Helps J-ADD residents
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Offers beautiful owers of
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Flowers By J-ADD is under the auspices of
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For more information, contact J-ADD at


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S-16 Jewish Standard

WINTER 2017

Front and center


from page 15

For flower lovers, J-ADD, the Jewish Association for


Developmental Disabilities vocational Flowers by J-ADD
program, is starting to bloom, said J-ADD director John
Winer.
The organization trains its members in floral arrangement and its members create beautiful floral centerpieces

that are available for occasions, including bar and bat


mitzvahs, and floral bouquets that are available for Shabbat and other times.
Flowers by J-ADD provides vocational opportunities
for individuals with developmental disabilities as well as
opportunity for others to help support J-ADD. Seasonal
and holiday flower arrangements are available for purchase and all proceeds go toward the wages of the employees and supporting J-ADDs expanding service efforts.

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BAR/BAT MITZVAH

Mr. Winter said the organization is stepping up its training of individuals to do the floral arranging and is hoping
to one day have a full-scale flower business.
There is no price you can put on giving the individual
the opportunity to integrate in a non-segregated environment and become empowered through employment to
improve his or her quality of life, Mr. Winer said.
In addition to floral arrangements available for various
occasions, including bar and bat mitzvahs, Shabbat flowers are also available. They have sold at the JCC in Tenafly,
at a few day schools, and for special events, including a
recent dance recital at the JCC, Mr. Winer said.
Harlee Hayden of Hillsdale became a very familiar face
at the Helping Hands Food Pantry in Teaneck.
When she was wondering what to do for her bat mitzvah project, Harlee decided to mix together a little of this,
a little of that, and a lot of love. She took her love of baking; her desire to make a palatable difference in peoples
lives, the advice, and even a recipe from her familys
rabbi, Rabbi Debra Orenstein of Bnai Israel in Emerson,
and kneaded all the ingredients together.
The result had been delicious and beautiful freshly
baked challahs that Harlee had donated weekly to the
Helping Hands Food Pantry in Teaneck.
Harlee was delivering a dozen challahs at a time,
said Janice Preschel, director of the Helping Hands Food
Pantry. The challahs had been snapped up, and not just
by Jewish people. The smell of fresh baked challah is
amazing.
To cap the ongoing mitzvah of her bat mitzvah, Harlee
took it a step further in supporting the food pantry.
She decided to buy food items and assemble them into
two large decorative baskets that adorned the bimah at
her bat mitzvah, which took place recently.
She then donated the food-filled baskets to the Helping
Hands Food Pantry in Teaneck for families in need. The
pantry accepts such non-perishable food items such as
cereal, tuna fish and canned vegetables. Ms. Preschel said
the food pantry serves about 200 families.

At left, Floral
arrangement by
J-ADD. Below,
book centerpieces
to support
Bergen Reads.

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Jewish Standard S-17

Making a celebration a meaningful celebration


Emuna Braverman

ife has many firsts. Its part of what


makes life exciting. Its part of what
keeps us on our toes. And its part of
what throws us into panic and confusion. Am I going to get it right? Ive never
done this before. And even deeper, what
exactly is right?
We were approaching another first in our
family our oldest sons bar mitzvah. And
the questions were flying fast and furious.
We know we didnt want a circus theme
or a baseball theme. We were not hiring
a rock band or a trapeze artist or a belly
dancer! But that still leaves plenty of leeway.
How do you enjoy the party and maintain the focus?
How do you enjoy the party and maintain the focus? One of my girls wanted all
the clothing to be color-coordinated. I said
no. One of my children wanted the celebration to be at a hotel. I said no. Another
wanted all her friends to come. I said no.
And everyone wants to help decide the

menu. I said no to that also. But there have


to be some yes-es. Not because the celebration is about the material but because
everyone wants a piece of the joy.
Everyone was genuinely happy and
excited for their brother (when theyre
not fighting over the computer with him!)
and they want as many outlets as possible
to express it.
Trying to tread the middle road is a challenge in every aspect of life. Here too. We
want it attractive but not ostentatious, joyful but not wild, the food delicious but not
extravagant, the clothing dignified but not
dramatic (and not outrageously expensive). And we want it meaningful.
We want everyone to understand especially our son and his siblings what a bar
mitzvah means. Its not about the party. Its
not about the gifts. Its not about the band,
the dessert or the kiddush. Its not about
the beautiful cake our friend Betsy is going
to make. And its not about the bills. (Its
not about the bills, its not about the bills...)
Its about becoming an adult and forging

a personal relationship with God. Its about


recognizing that inherent in the concept
of relationship is the idea of responsibility.
And that responsibility is the real joy. Having obligations and using those obligations
to connect to the Almighty is the ultimate
happiness.
We want our friends and family to think
this is the best party ever not the best
decorations, the most courteous waiters,
the most gourmet food, the most exotic
setting the best party ever because it will
teach us what life is really about. What
were really meant to celebrate. Where
true joy is attainable. And if we can learn
that lesson we want everyone we care
about to learn it with us.
We want our family to think it was the
best party ever because it taught us what
life is really about. These are all wonderful
ideas. But exactly how is this lesson going
to be taught?
I know its not by counting checks.
I know that a sense of relief, a suggestion that the ordeal is over would be a

serious mistake. And the thought that this


is an end rather than a beginning would
be a tragedy. I know what wont teach the
proper perspective. But what will?
One way I hope this lesson is absorbed
is through my sons friends. When Ive
seen the joy of the boys dancing with and
for each other at previous bar mitzvahs,
Ive been moved to tears. Their unselfconscious expressions of pure happiness lifted
everyone to an appreciation of what the
world could be, an excitement about the
potential waiting to be unleashed.
Coupled with this are the words of his
teachers. Continually exhorting the boys
to appreciate the significance of the day
and demonstrating to them the pleasure
and beauty of a life of wisdom and positive
actions, these teachers have primed their
students for the new vistas to come. But
only by acting on what theyve learned, by
exhibiting the character commensurate
with the wisdom, will the boys begin to
forge their own transcendent relationship.
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S-18 Jewish Standard

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Of past and future bar mitzvahs


The wheels of time and family keep turning
Ed Silberfarb

onathan said to David, Tomorrow is the new moon, and you


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will be missed because your
seat will be empty.
Thus began Bens bar mitzvah
haftarah, the Shabbat before Rosh
Chodesh November 1984. It was a
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significant for Ben who seemed to be
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Brooks Brothers tie. The kippot were denim. Almost 100
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guests attended, ranging from the secular to the pious.
The latter were careful to arrive after Shabbat.
The music was hard rock, orchestrated by Bens friend,
a sound engineer. In a quieter adjacent room, adult couples were dancing. The most popular attraction was a
ping-pong table, which was in constant use until it col0002441714-01.qxd 10/15/08 5:09 PM Page
lapsed1near the end of the party.
The food was chow mein, lo mien, egg rolls, and moo
Certified Cantor with
goo gai pan, all from Bernstein-on-Essex, one of New
MAGAZINE
AD
Yorks few kosher Chinese restaurants, now long gone.
0002441714-01
There was a vast amount of fried noodles, which the Bernstein man insisted
was necessary for enjoying the cuisine.
LIEBERSTEIN,
BARBRA
The
kids
agreed.
The
observant cousins were assured that
Fri, Oct 24, 2008
the heating of the food was not begun until after Shabbat.
x 2.50"
Group and1 cols, 2.13
The mother of one of Bens friends, a photographer,
Learn to
private
lessons
Process
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documented the entire evening with pictures of one and
read Hebrew
in your home
all in poses both serene and outrageous.
Lisa Spadevecchia
Bens father did a respectable havdalah, and the rabbi,
Parent Paper
brilliant but controversial, seemed to enjoy the affair and
Carinewas well behaved throughout.
Officiant at Bar/Bat Mitzvah Ceremonies,
We leap ahead 32 years. Ben has put his ReconstructionBaby Namings and Weddings
ist days
behind him. He has been initiated in the ranks
___ Art
Direction
Officiant for Baby Namings
of the frum with a year of intensive study at a yeshiva in
_X__ Israel
E-Proof
and two more in Monsey, New York. Hes married
e-mail: cantorbarbra@aol.com
Certified
Cantor with 12+ years
with
four
children, living within an eruv in Baltimore. He
www.cantorbarbra.com
of pulpit experience
wears an elegant, broad-brimmed black hat, and dons a
kittel for the Passover seder. His oldest son has become a
bar mitzvah with a siyum after completing a tractate of the
Talmud.
___ OK
ASHis
ISdaughter became a bat mitzvah with a scholarly dvar Torah and a sedate party at home.
mitzvah approaches for his second son, and
W. bar
CHANGE
___ OKNow
complications loom. The scheduled date is Shabbat Hagadol, the Grand Sabbath, the one before Pesach. How
________________
does one deal with the awesome happening? Will the
approved
partyby
be diminished? Can chometz be available, and if so,
where? With a seder just days later, will anyone attend?
In the end there is no need for hysteria or concern. The

914.962.8525

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12+ years
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BAR & BAT
MITZVAH

Lessons in experience
your home
Learn to read Hebrew

Cantor Barbra
201-818-4088

Cell: 201-788-6653

www.thejewishstandard.com

BAR/BAT MITZVAH

events proceed with calm and


dignity. The young man binds
the tefillin for the first time with
help from his older brother, a
perfectionist.
Then comes the Bo Ba Yom,
a dairy party in a local restaurant attended by his classmates,
his rebbe and immediate family
Thursday before Shabbat. The
only women present are his sister, mother and grandmothers.
He leads the mincha davening
followed by a supper of macaroni and cheese. His siblings
rig up a sound system, and the
rebbe organizes the boys in a
series of simcha dances to prepare them for future weddings.
Some of the boys, already bar
mitzvah, wear their black hats.
Shabbat Hagadol lends a certain majesty to the shacharit and there is no shortage of attendance, especially with
anticipation of a sumptuous pre-Pesach kiddush,
The last event is a Sunday party at home for family
and friends. Its a chance for everyone to say something
about the young man and to entwine his future to Torah
and mitzvot.

The bar mitzvah ceremony was


followed by a rollicking party
of boys and girls, men and
women, in the social hall of a
neighboring day school.
For Ben and family, the simchas continue. His youngest
son becomes a bar mitzvah in November this year. The
planning has begun, and already a daring solution has
been put forth a Thanksgiving Day bar mitzvah. This
would eliminate the problem of guests driving on Shabbat.
The Torah, after all, is read on Thursday even though the
Pilgrims may not have had that in mind when they established the holiday.
The menu is obvious turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce,
sweet potatoes, all the fixins as they say, and, of course
pumpkin and/or apple pie. One might add knish to give it
ethnic balance.
On the other hand is the argument that Thanksgiving is
the busiest travel time of the year. Even those who are willing to brave the traffic might prefer to spend the holiday at
home with family. But no, say the innovators. Do it and
they will come.
Ed Silberfarb was a reporter for the Bergen Record in New
Jersey, then the New York Herald Tribune where he was City
Hall bureau chief. Later, he was a public information officer
for the New York City Transit Authority and editor of one of its
employee publications.

Jewish Standard S-19

When the political becomes personal


The red, white and
blue colors convention
theme bar mitzvah
Heidi Mae Bratt

emocratic Party! Republican


Party! Bar Mitzvah Party!
It was a clever play on words,
and an even more clever play on
a theme, as the country was in the throes
of a sizzling political moment of a preelection season. With three weeks before
the presidential election, the Weisz family of Florida, who observed their son
Andrews bar mitzvah on Oct. 15, 2016 at
Temple Beth El in West Palm Beach, created a mock political convention theme
for the event.
It was an original concept and very
timely, said Andrews father, Peter
Weisz, who runs a boutique book publishing. His wife, Alla, is a family practice
physician.
From the delegate package invitations,
to the red carpet entry at Club at Ibis
where the party took place, to the Uncle
Sam on stilts, to the signs that urged
everyone to vote for Andrew for president, it was all stops pulled out to create a
very unique and memorable bar mitzvah.
It was so unique, in fact, that there
were stories written about the event in
the local press. It was also featured as a
spotlight on the bar-bat mitzvah website,
mitzvahmarket.com.
The event was bi-partisan, we made
sure of that, said Mr. Weisz. There were
Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton impersonators, who mingled among the guests,
who were asked to dress up in red, white
and blue for the festive occasion.
As for Andrew, he had a
grand time.
I just loved it, said
Andrew.
So would his dad like it
if an all-grown up Andrew
decided to actually run
for president of the United
States?
Id like that very much,
said Mr. Weisz. But if
he became a doctor, that
would be even better.

Red, white and blue were the colors. Father Peter Weisz, Andrew Weisz,
and his mother Alla Weisz.
Uncle Sam stood tall on stilts as he walked
around reminding everyone about U.S.
patriotism.

Above, Candidates
Donald Trump and Hillary
Clinton hobnobbed with
the guests at Andrews
party. At left, the secret
service, aka one of
Andrews coaches, escorts
the candidate, aka, bar
mitzvah boy into the party.
The Great Garden State of New Jersey is represented at the party.

S-20 Jewish Standard

WINTER 2017

BAR/BAT MITZVAH

Our
OurChildren
About

Useful Information
for the Next Generation
of Jewish Families

A Camping
We Will Go
Weight No More
Grandparents Go to School
Supplement to The Jewish Standard February 2017

AOC-2
T:10

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About Our Children is designed to help Jewish families in our area live healthy, positive lives that make the most of
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musings from the editor

irthdays come and go, but memories remain.


When I was young, I dont
recall our birthdays being celebrated
as hooplas. Sure, there were the big
bar mitzvah parties for my two brothers, a surprise party initiated by my
friends when I turned 13, and a catering hall, DJed shindig for my Sweet 16.
But other annual non-milestone birthdays were very low-key. We, in the
Bratt household, turned another year
older without much fanfare.
In fact, sometimes, there was almost no fanfare. Dare I share, for one
of my birthdays, a lone Drakes Yodel
was inserted with a thick Shabbos
candle that nearly split the chocolatecovered cream-filled cake in half.
On another occasion, as a young
adult, my birthday was, well forgotten.
Phone call:
Hi, Dad. Do you know what day
it is?
Tuesday.
Yes. Do you know the date?
Yes, its January ohhhhh. Happy birthday, Heidi!
Thank you, Daddy!
Im not sure whether to make my-

self a big ol pity party now to make up


for all the missed birthday parties. But
I think not. And perhaps, theres an upside. Maybe all those missed parties
kept the aging process at bay. Fewer
celebrations mean fewer rings around
the old tree trunk.
Its no biggie now. But Jeff and
I try to give our children different memories.
When Yehuda, our firstborn, was
not quite a year, he already had several parties in his honor. There was the
bris, of course. Then another party at
six months. Then, one at nine months.
Each month, there was a reason to celebrate! I read that its only during that
first year, and typically for a firstborn,
that parents make these incremental
birthday parties.
Along the way, the kids, hopefully,
have memories of the bowling parties,
ice-cream parlor parties, yoga parties,
sleep-over parties, Times Square parties at Dave & Busters, among others.
Nowadays, weve gone low-key
traditional. There may be a little extra
thrown in, but when the birthday celebrant awakens, there are homemade
signs decorating the walls, and of

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course, a homemade cake.


When I did the baking
there was a frosted Duncan
Hines in a favorite flavor. It
was decorated with a plastic birthday sign, candles,
sprinkles, candies, you
name it. The dairy cake
was eaten for breakfast, or
as a first course to a later
meat meal.
Since then, Shaina has become
fond of baking, and Duncan Hines is
retired. She finds recipes online and
bakes from scratch. In the sweetest
labor of love, she has made a deep
chocolate, chocolate cake for her
brother, a simple chocolate torte for
her father, and a rich vanilla coconut
cake with homemade butter frosting
for her mother. Dee-lish-ous!
As for the signage, we used to
make it by hand using various colors
of Sharpies and crayons. But now
weve gone high tech and computergenerated signs grace our walls. There
have been creative and humorous
birthday greetings from the New York
City Police Department, the staff at
Barnes & Noble Bookstores, fitness

guru and Flywheel founder


Ruth Zukerman, SpiderMan, and others.
One of the loveliest
suggestions for celebrating
a birthday is one I found
in Toward a Meaningful
Life by Menachem Mendel
Scheneerson, adapted by
Simon Jacobson.
He writes: There is
no better way to celebrate a birthday than to commit to a special act of
goodness. It is easy enough to say you
are thankful; it is far better to show it
by doing a kind deed, something that
you did not do yesterday. Not because
someone is forcing you. Not because
someone suggests it. But simply because your inner goodness, your soul,
wants to express its thanks for being
born and alive.
Now what can be a better way
to celebrate?
An act of goodness.
And maybe, for dessert, a Yodel.
Cheers,

AOC-5
GENERATION G

A Day of Nostalgia at School


With the Grandparents
E D S I L B E R FA R B

ts called Grandparents and


V.I.P. Day because some kids
dont have grandparents, so
they are encouraged to invite
other people who are very important in their lives.
Its a tight schedule, beginning at 8:20 a.m. in the gym
for juice, coffee, bagels, fruit,
yogurt and a vast array of
home-baked cookies, scones,
muffins and other caloric delights provided by the Parents
Association, which sponsors
the program.
Hundreds of visitors gather
for grades K through 5. By luck
we meet the grandmother of a
classmate of our granddaughter. Over coffee and bagels
slathered with scallion cream
cheese, we discuss the third
grade social scene. The conversation is startling.
My grandson told me he
is going to marry your granddaughter, she says.
Hes made a good choice,
we assure her, and mentally
we sort out the eight-year-olds
to determine whom our future
grandson-in-law might be.
Breakfast is followed by
greetings from the principal,
remarks by the P.A. president
and then the schools alma
mater sung by a winsome childrens chorus. Then we visit
the classrooms.
P.S. 39 in Park Slope, Brooklyn, a landmark built in 1874, is
the oldest school building in
the city. It carries its age with
elegance and grace. We work
our way up the down staircase
to room 201. On the walls are
study prompts about the reading assignments, motivation and
characters, and charts showing
the childrens participation.
Its a class of about 25. The
kids sit four to a table. They
are working on questionnaires
for their grandparents. They
want to know how different was

11- to 12-year-olds at a school somewhere in the north United States, probably about 1935.

school in our day. They ask


what we wore, what we learned,
what we ate, what games we
played, what did we do at recess and lunchtime.
Then the children leave
their tables and gather in a
group on the floor. Its the
grandparents turn to tell them
what school was like for us. We
tell them about how we learned
penmanship and how to write
in longhand, which doesnt
seem to be taught anymore.
We tell them about inkwells
and pens we dipped in ink. We
tell them we sat in rows at little desks that were fastened to
the floor. In front of the room
were blackboards. The teacher
wrote on them with chalk. At
the end of the day, one child
would be rewarded with the job
of cleaning the blackboards and

the erasers.
In gym we played dodge
ball, and we usually went home
for lunch. After school we
played stoopball on the steps
in front of our houses, and we
played stickball in the streets
because there werent as many
cars as there are today. In the
empty lots we played marbles
and skelly, a game where we
shot bottle caps into squares.
The girls still jump rope and
play potsy, but we dont hear
them chanting A, my name is
Alice. I come from Alaska. My
husbands name is Arthur, and
we grow apples
My wife and I seem to be
among the oldest grandparents
there. My school days go back
to the Great Depression. I tell
the children many families were
very poor then. The parents

had no jobs.
I remember one day in the
third grade, the teacher said,
Children, tomorrow were going on a class trip, so dont
forget to bring a nickel for the
trolley car. She thought a moment and then said, If your father isnt working, dont worry.
Ill pay for the trolley.
But what if the teacher
didnt have a nickel? our
granddaughter asks.
I said in those days teachers were fortunate because
they had jobs, so they usually
had some extra nickels to help
kids who needed them. The
teacher smiled.
My wife grew up in New
York City. She lived first in
Brooklyn, then in Manhattan.
She talked about P.S.9, which
had a boundary line drawn so

that well-to-do families on the


Upper West Side of Manhattan
could send their children to
that school.
I remember one family had
a governess for their children.
The governess would take them
to school and pick them up at
the end of the day. It was a very
snobby school.
The children in their various modes of dress all wondered what we wore in school.
The boys wore knickers, I
said. pants that came down
tight below the knees and socks
that came up to the knickers.
Its as if I were describing an
aliens outfit from outer space.
Grandma told them about
the middy blouses the girls
wore with navy blue pleated
skirts. In the upper grades they
could wear any kind of blouse,
but it had to be white.
World War II would soon
begin. As a little girl, Grandma
lived across the street from
what had been a hotel, but became a military barracks. She
told about the soldiers marching down Broadway to Riverside Park for their drill. She had
to run between their ranks in
order to cross the street. This
intrigued the kids.
Soon it was time to get back
to work and an end to the tales
of yesteryear. The grandparents filed out of the room, and
the children returned to their
tables. A week later, we received
a letter from our granddaughter
with stick figure drawings of my
wife and me. Thank you for
coming to Grandparents Day.
Everyone loved it when you
gave your awesome speech.
Ed Silberfarb was a reporter for
the Bergen Record in New Jersey,
then the New York Herald Tribune
where he was City Hall bureau
chief. Later, he was a public information officer for the New York
City Transit Authority and editor of
one of its employee publications.

ABOUT OUR CHILDREN FEBRUARY 2017

AOC-6*
OurChildren
About

How to
Cultivate Happiness
in Your Child

A D I N A S O C LO F
1. Change Negative Self-Talk
Positive thinking often starts with changing negative selftalk, that endless stream of unspoken thoughts that run
through your head. Some of your self-talk comes from
logic and reason. Other self-talk may arise from misconceptions that you create because of lack of information.
Before parents can teach this to their children they
need to think positively themselves. Become aware
of your self-talk and work on changing your negative
mindset to a positive one.
Some examples:

Negative Mindset

Positive Mindset

Ive never done it before.

Its an opportunity to
learn something new.

Its too complicated.

Ill tackle it from a different angle.

I dont have the


resources.

Necessity is the mother


of invention.

Im too lazy to get this


done.

I wasnt able to fit it into


my schedule but can reexamine my priorities.

Theres no way it will


work.

I can try to make it


work.

Its too radical a change.

Lets take a chance.

No one bothers to communicate with me.

Ill see if I can open


the channels of
communication.

Im not going to get any


better at this.

Ill give it another try.

2. No More Labels
We often fall into the trap of labeling children and placing them in roles. It gives us a false sense of control
thinking we have them figured out. She is the stubborn
one, He is so bossy, That one is so slow, Forget

6 ABOUT OUR CHILDREN FEBRUARY 2017

about him, he will always be disorganized. The fact is


everyone has positive and negative traits.
If we only focus on the negative, even in a joking way,
we reinforce the negative behavior and it becomes a selffulfilling prophecy. A child acting stubbornly, who is told,
You are so stubborn! will persist in that behavior.
We can reinforce positive behavior in a stubborn
child or any child labeled negatively by:
Find a positive label. Even a euphemism, i.e., determined or committed or focused in place of stubborn can change how we view a child and can have a
positive impact behaviorally.

Negative Labels

Positive Labels

manipulative

expresses needs

messy

creative

pig-headed

determined

disrespectful

angry and hurt

defiant

courageous

3. Unconditional Love
Parents need to let their children know that they are
loved without reservation regardless of their school
performance and behavior. Adults can discipline a
child and work to improve their misbehavior while still
sending the message of unconditional love:
I love you, but I dont like this behavior youre
showing me.

4. Point Out Childs Positive Behaviors or


Strengths
Train yourself to focus on our childs positive attributes
instead of their negative ones. We can say things like:
You acted safely. You held my hand in the street.
You listened. I asked you to take out a book and you did.
I appreciated your help today. The laundry needed to
get done and you did it.

5. Share the Positive in your Day


Talk about the great things that you did together:
I had such a great time with you today. Teaching you
to ride a bicycle with training wheels was so much fun!
I know school can be tough sometimes, but I hope
you can see how much you are learning and how much
you enjoy reading new stories, and gym class.

6. Talk about the Things You Enjoy:


I love taking nature walks with you. You pointed out
all these interesting leaves and flowers!
I am reading such a good book. It is hard for me to put
it down. There is nothing like a good book to relax you!

7. Express your Positive Feelings


I love giving you kisses and hugs at bedtime.
I am so happy! I just finished all my cooking for the
holidays. I feel very accomplished!
I am delighted with all the work we accomplished in
therapy today.

8. Ask Children to Find the Positives


What was the best thing about school today?
Can you tell me one good thing that happened to you
today?
Some people are born with an optimistic and positive
nature, while others are not. You can help cultivate an
upbeat attitude in your child that will build authentic
happiness, prevent depression and foster resilience.
Adina Soclof is the director of Parent Outreach for A+
Solutions, facilitating How to Talk so Kids will Listen and
Listen so Kids will Talk and Siblings Without Rivalry
workshops. Ms. Soclof runs ParentingSimply.com and is
available for speaking engagements. Contact her at www.
parentingsimply.com or www.thinkaplus.com.

AOC-7
OurChildren

S LOV I E JU N G R E I S - WO L F F

ere are the three common parenting mistakes


many of us make that produce over-indulged, ungrateful children.

1. The As Long as Theyre Happy Attitude


When I pose the question, What would you like for
your kids? the most common reply I receive is: We just
want them to be happy. Big mistake.
Happiness is not the goal. Character, kindness, ethics and moral children is the end game. When all we desire is happy children well do anything not to deal with
their whining, tears and tantrums. We bend the rules,
ignore better judgment and look away at bad behavior
all in the name of happy children.
These are the parents who stop all conversation as
their 5 year old enters the room. While on the phone
they allow themselves to be constantly interrupted.
When the children are little, mothers and fathers stuff
them with treats and prizes, giving in too easily to nagging and kvetching.
As children grow, we become reluctant to ask them
to help out. Not wanting to deal with their anger we stop
guiding them to sweat more, give more, and do more
for others. When faced with the challenge of showing
kindness to those they would rather not be with, they
opt out or respond with snarky remarks.
Solution: Stop defining good parenting
with happy kids. Your child in tears does not
mean that you are a bad parent. The answer
to a happy life is not prizes, toys or never experiencing discomfort. Pleasure and joy come
when there is a feeling of contentedness.
Learning to be satisfied with what we have and
gratefulness for what we have been given creates happiness. Making children feel as if they
are the center of our universe from the time
that they are little creates arrogance.
Dont be afraid of childrens tears. Resolve
not to give in to tantrums because they make
you feel unsure of yourself as a parent. Allow your child
to see that others can come first. Its not the end of
the world when asked to be uncomfortable or go out
of your comfort zone. These are the moments where
character is born.

limits and stick to them. Dont allow childrens bullying


to make you cross lines you are uncomfortable with. Resolve to look at needs versus wants. Stop overindulging.
Concentrate more on time together and less on things.
Children who are given it all lose their sense of wonder. The magic of this universe, awe at this incredible
world we live in are emotions that keep us growing.
When dullness sets in because weve been there, done
that, we forfeit passion. There is nothing to look forward to. Everything is boring.

3. The Fix it All Parent


There are kids who cant pick up after themselves. They
are missing homework assignments, forgetting books,
and sleeping through the morning alarm clock despite
talks and threats. They come down in the morning and
ask where their lunch is but they are highly capable of
preparing their own.
Parents are rushing to school with books left at
home, writing excuse notes, bringing mitts to the baseball field and calling the coach to demand better positions on the team. While their child is sleeping, parents
are typing the book report that is due in the morning.
The dog that was begged for is never walked. The clothing is scattered until mom hangs it all up. Whats wrong
with this picture?
These children dont know the meaning of consequences. They assume that parents will always be
around to remedy the situation. Responsibilities are not taken seriously. After all, if mom
and dad will take care of it, why should I?
But this is not real life. At some point the
child will have to be away from home, answer to higher authority, and be a husband,
wife and parent who must take care of others. These children cant possibly stand on
their own two feet. They will cave in to the
pressure of deadlines, late night feedings and
stress that life and relationships bring. We are
not helping our children when we constantly
step in. In fact, we are harming them. They are
clueless when it comes to handling real life. Disappointments become overwhelming.
Solution: Stop fixing. Instead work on helping your
child find solutions. Allow your children to make mistakes, experience failures and see how natural consequences happen. Recognize their efforts at doing better. Try not to express impatience if they are working at
a slower pace or dont keep up with your quicker ways.
Take a step back. Speak about study schedules,
house rules, and maintaining agreed upon responsibilities. Being part of a family means that everyone is required to pitch in and help. Do not allow children to get
away with laziness because its simply easier for you to
just do it yourself than chase after them. Responsibility
leads to respect.
Parents, have the courage to say no. Realize that
happiness comes from within. Allow children to taste
success through hard work and sweat. You will find
children who contribute more, appreciate lifes blessings and bring goodness to this world.

No
No
No

2. The Best Childhood Ever Parent


Parents who want to give their children all the luxuries
and experiences they never had growing up often go
overboard. They indulge and pamper. It becomes difficult to set limits. Sons and daughters binge on too
much material sugar. Thinking that they are being great
parents, moms and dads keep over extending. Children begin to feel as if this is just the way they live and
stop appreciating.
You find 2-year-olds with their own devices, children in designer clothing, and teenagers living on
endless credit cards. Extravagant vacations, tweens
dressed in inappropriate clothing, and bar and bat
mitzvahs that defy imagination are all part of the best
childhood ever package.
When given too much, children grow bored easily.
They stop appreciating. Parents must constantly feed
their expectations with more and better.
Solution: Be consistent. Discipline wisely. Create

Slovie Jungreis-Wolff is a teacher, parenting and relationship coach and the author Raising a Child With Soul (St.
Martins Press).

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The Three Big Parenting Mistakes


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AOC-8
OurChildren
About

Goals, Goals, Goals


Helping Children Get There
DENISE MORRISON YEARIAN

hen children set and achieve


personal goals, it can affect
the way they view themselves,
their academics and their activities,
both now and in the future. But for many,
goal setting doesnt just happen. Often
its an acquired skill that requires the
guidance, support and encouragement
of a parent or mentor. Once learned,
children can turn todays dreams into
tomorrows reality.
Taylor Hollingsworth is a prime example. Ever since her mother can remember, the preteen has enjoyed entertaining others and made it her goal early
on to become a professional singer.
By the time Taylor was in fifth grade
she had gotten a lot of positive feedback
with different performances so by years
end she was ready to step it up a notch,
said the mother. We decided a good
next step was to enroll her in a performing arts school so she could major in
voice and minor in theater.
Frank McIntosh, president of the local Junior Achievement, believes its never too early to start children on the goalsetting track. Whats most important,
though, is that the goals be self-directed.
If the child owns his goal, hes more
likely to embrace it and have the motivation and commitment to work toward

attaining it, said Mr. McIntosh. Its okay


for parents to give input and guidance
but it needs to be driven by the child.
This was the case with Dave Reslers daughter. From the time she was
in fourth grade, Stephanie had run short
distances in track. Upon entering high
school, she joined cross-country and so
increased her distance from one-quarter
to over three miles. But her biggest running goal came at the end of her freshman year.
One day Stephanie came to me and
said she wanted to join the 300-Mile Club
at school that summer, said her father.
I knew it was a realistic goal, so together we sat down and did the math how
often she would have to run over the
course of three months.
When children formulate a goal,
its a good idea if they write it down,
said Linda Sullivan, local 4-H organizational leader. This creates a clear picture in their minds of what they want to
achieve, gives permanency to the goal
and provides the drive and motivation
to move forward.
In doing so, they should outline steps
that need to be taken along the way.
Breaking down a large goal into specific steps helps kids experience smaller
goals along the way, said Mr. McIntosh.
For some, this may mean taking advantage of resources such as books, DVDs

and the Internet to broaden their understanding. And never underestimate the
power of third-party influence someone who knows the ropes and can encourage your child or provide the expertise needed to fine-tune his skills.
Ms. Hollingsworth did this.
Once Taylor was at the school, she
started taking private voice lessons and
we educated ourselves from a community theater perspective, she said. We
found out about opportunities at the local childrens theater so she auditioned
for two plays there and was given a
part each time. On both occasions we
watched the related movies and learned
the songs.
While outlining specific steps, have
your child consider potential obstacles
that may hinder goal attainment and create a plan to overcome them, said Ms.
Sullivan. Also establish a time frame for
achieving the goal. This provides a sense
of urgency and lets your child know if
hes on track. It also gives him the opportunity to reassess his goal, if necessary.
One thing Stephanie and I discussed was how she was going to get
her miles in when it was 95 degrees outside. I told her, You need to know and
plan for times when it will be difficult
to run, said Mr. Resler. We also talked
about her progress along the way. When
August rolled around, she was a little

behind so she increased her weekly distances. And by summers end she had
officially run 300 miles.
Taylor has made progress with her
singing goal, too.
She gleaned a lot of experience from
her time at performing arts school, but
the following year she returned to her
former academic setting, said Ms. Hollingsworth. Soon after we reapplied, we
learned they were doing a production of
Oliver and Taylor started preparing right
away. When audition time came, she got
the leading role. Right now were looking
at moving to the next levelgetting an
agent who can possibly take her outside
the community to some larger cities.
Experts agree the best thing parents
can do to help their children set and
achieve goals is to guide them in understanding what their strengths are, help
them create a feasible plan and then become their cheerleader. But ultimately
attaining the goal is up to them.
One time I gave a commencement
address and I challenged students to
internalize ten small words that could
dramatically affect their future, said
Mr. McIntosh. If it is to be, it is up
to me.
Denise Yearian is the former editor of two
parenting magazines, a mother and a grandmother.

Going for the Goal


Start early

Take advantage of resources

Provide structure for goal setting by having your


child save for a special toy, work toward a specific
grade in school or master a song on the piano.

Utilize books, DVDs, the Internet, lessons and thirdparty influences to help your child increase his
understanding and hone his skills.

Make sure the goal is child directed

Consider hurdles and ways to overcome them


in advance

Parents may give input but it needs to be the childs


idea for him to truly embrace it.

Write it down
Make sure its clear and sensible. Have him include
why its important to him. Hang it in his bedroom,
on the refrigerator or the bathroom mirror so he
can see it. Or get a binder to chart progress and let
him decorate the front of it.

Outline specific steps to attaining the goal


Break it down into smaller steps or goals so he will
feel a sense of accomplishment along the way.

8 ABOUT OUR CHILDREN FEBRUARY 2017

If children know there will be road bumps along the


way, it can ward off discouragement. Remind your
child that obstacles are opportunities to strengthen
his resolve.

Set a time frame for attaining the goal


Have your child write down an approximate deadline for achieving the goal to provide a sense of
urgency and keep him on track.

Monitor and chart progress tangibly


Have your child chart progress he has made with

pictures, medals, report cards, etc., and add to his


notebook for continued encouragement.

Readjust time frame, if necessary.


Remind your child that there may be unforeseen
circumstances that have kept him from attaining his
goal in the allotted time. Encourage him to readjust
the time frame and continue on.

Be his cheerleader
Provide support and encouragement. Take an
interest in his goal, attend his activities and look
for other ways to support your child without taking
charge of the goal.

Be a mentor
Talk about your own personal goals the trials you
faced in trying to achieve them. Demonstrate perseverance and discipline, and continue to set personal

AOC-9

Weight No More
Get Your Children Healthy

H E I D I M A E B RAT T

he proverbial battle of the bulge


may be fought on all fronts. But
were not winning the war. Childhood obesity, and its accompanying
medical problems, is on the rise. Experts
say we cannot wait on this weighty issue
any longer if we are to ensure that our
children will be healthy.
About Our Children consulted with
Dr. Sherry Sakowitz-Sukkar, a pediatrician
and obesity expert, and the director of
Healthy LifeWays: Valley Hospitals Center
for Pediatric Wellness and Weight Management, for her expertise on this topic.
AOC: Are we seeing more obesity in
youngsters than before? What accounts
for the trend? What percentage of the
youth population is obese and what is
considered obese?
Dr. Sakowitz-Sukkar: During the
last 40 years the numbers of childhood
obesity cases has tripled, and in some
age groups, quadrupled. The dramatic
increase is attributed to a number of

factors: a combination of genetics, behaviors, and the environment, that is, a


sedentary lifestyle, lack of physical activity, and an unhealthy diet. In the overall population, about 17 percent of our
youth are considered obese and a third
of children are considered either overweight or obese.
AOC: What can a parent do to head
off this trend?
Dr. Sakowitz-Sukkar: Prevention is
key, such as developing healthy eating
habits early on. Eating fruits, vegetables,
whole-grain products, low-fat dairy and
lean proteins. Eating three meals a day,
and no skipping breakfast. Establishing
and sticking to a set-time eating schedule. Also, eating more family meals at
home, and limiting the number of fast
foods and eating out. In addition, limiting
processed foods. Limiting screen time to
less than two hours a day, and making
sure there is no screen time while eating. It is important to try to decrease opportunities for sedentary behavior, such
as not having a television in the childs

for dieting. Getting healthy is a family affair. Everyone living in the household
needs to be on board and participate.
Best approach is not to single out the
child who needs to lose weight and instead frame it that the whole family is
going to get healthy together. There
shouldnt be specials foods for or not for
the child that needs to lose weight and
the child shouldnt feel that they are being restricted. Parents should look for
the things that the child is doing right
(eating and activity) and give positive
reinforcement rather that scold them for
eating something unhealthy.
AOC: When is it time to see a
specialist?
Dr. Sakowitz-Sukkar: Your pediatrician will likely tell you. Usually when the
child has BMI (body mass index) less
than 95 percent and cormorbid condition such as pre-diabetes, high cholesterol, hypertension, or is gaining weight
year after year despite guidance given at
well child visits.
The best advice for parents is to prevent, prevent, prevent. Its really hard to
change habits once a child has already
developed bad ones. Be a really good
role model. Kids are great imitators.

bedroom. Encourage at least one hour


of physical activity daily. In addition, it
is very important to get enough sleep.
Three to 5 year olds need 10 to 13 hours;
6 to 12 year olds need 9 to 12 hours and
teenagers, 13 to 18, need 8 to 9 hours.
A decrease in sleep increases hunger
hormones. Also, it is important to limit
added sugars. Children younger than 2
shouldnt have added sugar in their diet.
Children 2 to 18 should have no more
than 6 teaspoons or 24 grams of added
sugar a day. Make sure there are healthy
food choices available. Serve food on
smaller plates, ideally a plate that is 9 to
10-inches. Serve food restaurant style,
and no eating directly from bags, boxes
or containers. Make sure to never reward or punish with food.
AOC: How does one balance creating a healthy weight for a child and not
shaming them or creating a weight-obsessive situation?
Dr. Sakowitz-Sukkar: The focus
should be on healthy living and healthy
habits rather than on weight. Discourage dieting, skipping meals or use of diet
pills
Encourage families not to talk about
weight but rather to talk about healthy
eating and being active to stay healthy.
Promote a positive body image. Do not
focus on body dissatisfaction as a reason

Heidi Mae Bratt is the editor of About Our


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ABOUT OUR CHILDREN FEBRUARY 2017

AOC-10*
OurChildren
About

Settling a Sibling Squabble


RA B B I M O S H E D O N K E ST E N B A U M

common situation in families is


where one particular child is very
tough on his siblings, physically
or verbally. This child is usually not the
perfect student flourishing in school.
He often has low self-esteem or other issues that create anxiety, frustration and
anger within. Unfortunately for his siblings, they are often the ones who bear
the brunt of these feelings. The childs
aggression towards his siblings is often
subconscious and harder for him to control than we realize.
I have met many such children when
they are already in their teens and have
begun to mature, leaving behind such
behavior. While they may still be struggling with various issues, they come to
realize how unfair they are being to their
siblings and start to curb their behavior. Often, though, such children carry
deep resentment towards one or both
of their parents for how they handled
the fighting that took place when they
were younger.
Let me explain: When one child

picks on another, our natural reaction as


parents is to protect the victim. This is
correct and necessary, as we certainly
cannot sit by idly and watch one child
be hurt by another. But the question is
how we approach the situation. What
words and actions do we use to attempt
to quell the conflict?
To illustrate, Dovid calls his younger
brother, Reuven, stupid and other such
lovely names. Dad angrily reacts along
the following lines: Reuven, dont listen
to Dovid. He is crazy. He has his own issues and thats why he acts this way.
Dad is trying to support Reuven. Whats
his method? By putting down Dovid and
therefore helping discredit what Dovid
says. Yet, without realizing, in the process, he has put down his child in a very
severe and hurtful way. Dad feels that it
is necessary and justified. He also feels
that Dovid knows he is wrong and deserves the tongue lashing, but he fails
to realize how painful and damaging his
words are. Furthermore, such words
certainly will not lead towards improvement in Dovids behavior, as they will
only exacerbate his inner feelings of low
self-esteem and anger.

S
N
O
I
T
A
EXPLORt 11, 2017

2017

Augus
.
1 3 p.m
June 26

2
1
h
arc

M
E: Sun.,
S
U
O
H
OPEN

ms for
a
r
g
o
r
P
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Summe s 3 Grade 9
Age

forward
g
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i
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o
o
Were l eeing you!
to s

435 Lydecker Street, Englewood, NJ 07631


201.568.5566 x7333
explorations@elisabethmorrow.org

EMS_Sum17_JewishStandard_5x6.5.indd 1

10 ABOUT OUR CHILDREN FEBRUARY 2017

1/23/17 3:35 PM

The correct response must not include any insults toward Dovid. Dad can
say: Reuven, dont listen to Dovid. You
are a very smart boy. Dovid is just trying
to upset you. If necessary, disciplinary
actions should be taken, but the cardinal
rule here is to avoid putting down Dovid in the process. The parents should
speak to him privately about the inappropriateness of his behavior and why
he might be acting this way, but they
should never demean him with their
own form of verbal abuse.
When a parent uses insults to protect the victim child, they actually lower
themselves to the level of the children.
The parent becomes the third sibling,
childishly entangled in the fight. The aggressor child will invariably hurl insults
back at his parent out of anger and as a
way to defend himself from the hurtful
words coming his way. While over time
this child will hopefully stop this behavior, he may carry deep resentment for
years to come, as I have personally seen.
While we must do our best to protect the siblings being victimized, we
must realize that the aggressor child is
also a victim. He is suffering inside from

things that bother him and at this age


has little control over where his frustration expresses itself. We have to do our
best not to get angry with this child, but
to discipline him in a calm and loving
fashion. He must know that we love him
just as much as his easier siblings. We
must stay calm despite how challenging
it is.
When this child sees our love and
respect for him, despite the trouble and
turmoil he puts our household through,
he will overcome his challenges far
quicker. And as he continues to mature,
he will be able to enjoy a close relationship with us, rather than continuously
drifting away from us. With our love and
support, he will ultimately be the one
in the family who all the siblings turn to
for help.
Rabbi Moshe Don Kestenbaum works with
children, teens, and parents. He now has offices in Passaic, NJ. and Cedarhurst, NY. He can
be contacted at kestenbaum4@gmail.com fo r
private appointments or parenting workshops.
His work can also be found on heartofparenting.com and waterburyyeshiva.org.

AOC-11
OurChildren
About

About Our Childrens

Gui de
to

Summer Camps
DAY CAMPS
Camp Little Feet
at Temple Beth Rishon

585 Russell Ave. Wyckoff, NJ 07481


Phone: 201-891-6074
Fax: 201-891-0508
www.bethrishon.org
Ages: 25
Session Dates: June 26August 18 (Can
do any or all weeks)
Cost: $2,700 for 5 days a week, 8 weeks
Counselor to camper ratio: 5 to 1
Deadline: None, but first come,
first served
Swimming at Goldfish Swim School
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water playground, new air-conditioned facility. Please see our ad on
page 10.

Camp Veritans

225 Pompton Rd. Haledon, NJ 07508


Phone: 973-956-1220
Fax: 973-956-5751
www.campveritans.com
Pre-K10th grade
June 26August 18
Counselor to camper ratio: 1:8, but lower
in most cases
Camp Veritans is a summer day
camp for children entering Pre-K
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beautiful 64 acre campus, including
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21 West Main St. Bergeneld, NJ


Phone: 201-384- 6111
info@ganaviv.com www.ganaviv.com
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Extended operations hours: 7:00
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Elisabeth Morrow School


Summer Explortions

435 Lydecker St.


Englewood, NJ 07631
201-568-5566, ext. 7333
www.elisabethmorrow.org
age 3grade 9
Summer Explorations, the summer
program, at The Elisabeth Morrow

School, offers a unique blend of


camp and school, with a wide variety of choices and learning opportunities for students age 3 through
grade 9. The 14-acre wooded campus complete with playgrounds, turf
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Kaplen JCC on the Palisades


Taub Campus
411 E. Clinton Ave.
Tenafly, NJ 07670
Phone: 201-408-1433
www.jccotp.org/camp-katan
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MonFri or Mon/Wed/Fri,
June 26August 18
911:30 a.m.
This 8-week summer adventure features daily indoor and outdoor play,
a fabulous water park with exciting
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addition to providing an exciting
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Priority registration to children who
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Tenafly, NJ 07670
Phone: 201-567-8963
www.jccotp.org/nkdc
Age 3Grade 2
Mon.Fri., June 26August 18
9 a.m.4 p.m. (shorter days available for
preschoolers)
NKDC offers campers a summer of adventure and non-stop fun with many
exciting options, including Hebrew
immersion for native Hebrew speakers. Our camps features a beautiful
21+ acre campus with 3 pools, a sprinkler park, sports facilities, a low ropes
course with zip line, indoor rainy-day
facilities and more. Your camper will
enjoy the outdoors, learn new skills,
make new friends and explore their
personal interests. With dynamic,
age-appropriate programming that includes sports, swimming, art, drama,
music, Judaic programming, special
events and more, your camper will experience an incredible summer to remember. Camper ages 3-Kindergarten
are led by head counselors who are
certified educators. Our day camps
are all-inclusive, providing lunch,
snacks, and towel service, making it
easy on parents as well. Campers also
have access to transportation and

extended care services. JCC membership is required.

SLEEPAWAY CAMP
Camp Ramah in the Berkshires

P.O. Box 515


Wingdale, NY 12594
845-832-6622 (summer office)
201-871-7262 (winter office)
www.ramahberkshires.org
Camp Ramah in the Berkshires, located in Duchess County N.Y. provides transformative summer experiences for Jewish youth grades 4
through 11. Its 200-acre site boasts
a beautiful lake and first-class sports
facilities. The Ramah experience is
rich and varied, combining creative
as stimulating programming in arts,
athletics, music, outdoor adventure
and informal Jewish education. Children are able to grow and learn in a
nurturing Jewish environment surrounded by life-long friends and spirited role models. Camp Ramah in the
Berkshires is infused with traditions
and values of Conservative Judaism
and celebrating its 54th year. Please
see our ad on page 12.

Shane Weight Loss Camp

302 Harris Rd.


Ferndale, NY 12734
Phone: 914-271-4141
Fax: 914-230-4007
www.campshane.com
Ages: 725
June 21August 19
$4,200$9,770
Counselor to camper ratio: 1:4
Camp sessions are June 21July 10;
June 21July 31; June 21August 19;
July 10August 19; July 31August
19. Since 1968, Camp Shane is the
premiere weight loss camp for kids,
teens and young adults. A highly supervised program that encompasses all the fun of traditional summer
camps with the benefits of weight
loss. Nutrition education, cooking
classes, fitness classes and calorie
burning activities to help increase
self esteem with superb, proven results. Please see our ad on page 11.

ACADEMIC/
ENRICHMENT CAMPS
Big Time Sports BRd.casting
Camp

ART
Lessons

Art of Excellence Studio

Unlock your Creativity with Classes in Drawing and Watercolor


Structured Lessons Relaxed Atmosphere Fabulous Results!
Age 7 to Adult - All levels of ability
Art Portfolio Preparation Available

ARTS & CRAFTS CAMPS FOR KIDS THIS SUMMER!


Artist, Rina Goldhagen 201-248-4779
www.artofexcellencestudio.com

I Lost Weight.
You can too!

Shane Weight Loss Camp


Trusted for 49 Years
Safe and Supervised
Nutrition & Cooking Classes
Portion Control Menus
Cognitive Behavior Therapy
Fabulous Fun
Beautiful Grounds

Delicious Kosher Food

(914) 271-4141

www.campshane.com
Choose one of Ramapo Colleges

Summer Youth Programs


RAMAPO EXPLORERS-STEM MIDDLE SCHOOL ACADEMIC CAMP
3 Sessions: July 1021 July 24Aug. 4 Aug. 718
Robotics Rumble
Lego WaterBotics
Aerospace Engineering STEM Meets Art and more!

RAMAPO EXPLORERS-THEATER CAMP FOR 7TH-12TH GRADES


Choose from 1 week sessions: July 10- Aug 18

Glatt

Acting I and II
Improv Workshop

1420 Walnut Street, Suite 605


Philadelphia, PA
Phone: 800-319-0884
www.playbyplaycamps.com
Boys & Girls Ages 1018
July 1014
Day/Overnight options available
The Sports BRd.casting Camp is located on the campus of Montclair
State College in Montclair this summer is celebrating its 12th year.
Learn from the pros. Meet sports celebrities; make play-by-play, sports
anchor, and reporting tapes. Partici-

Dance for Actors


Costume Design and more!

FOR HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS

Art Portfolio Prep 1 & 2


Weekly, July 17Aug. 11

Numerical Analysis
August 1418
Programming/Data Science
Brazilian Percussion
August 711
August 711
SAT Prep
CompTIA A+ Camp
July 1727
July 1021
Stock Market Trading
Game
Design
for
Teens

July 31Aug 4
July 1021 or July 24Aug. 4
Web Site Development
(3 credits online) Dates TBA
Register Online for Upcoming
Information Sessions!

www.ramapo.edu/ramapocamps
505 Ramapo Valley Road Mahwah, NJ
or call 201-684-7370

About Our Children FEBRUARY 2017 11


01.20.17_About Our Children.indd 1

1/20/17 12:30 PM

Gl

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Gui d e
pate in mock sports talk radio and PTIstyle shows, and much more. Please see
our ad on page 14.

International Chess Academy

354 Rock Rd., Glen Rock, NJ 07452


Phone: 201-797-0330
185 Court St.
Teaneck, NJ 07666
Phone: 201-833-1741
www.icanj.net
Ages: 616
Summer Day Camp: Accepting registration. Learn to play chess, one of the
worlds oldest and most popular games.
We offer private, group, and after-school
lessons. Students of all levels are welcome, from beginner to master. We host
world-renowned international coaches
and our students have qualified for the
World Youth Championships. With lessons 6 days a week in two locations. See
www.icanj.net for schedule and pricing.
Please see our ad on page 15.

Ramapo College Camps for Middle


and High School Students

505 Ramapo Valley Rd. Mahwah, NJ 07430


Phone: 201-684-7370
Fax: 201-684-7277
www.ramapo.edu/ramapocamps
Grades: 712
Dates: weekly or bi-weekly July 10August 18
$350$1,675
Counselor to camper ratio: 10 to 1
Deadline registration: May 30, 2017
Ramapo College offers summer camps
in Mahwah for Middle School Students
grades 7-8. Hands on STEM program,
including Robotics, Computer Science,
Computer Graphics, Digital Song Creation, Alternative Energy, and more. The-

ater Camp weeks covering Acting I and II.


H.S. Students Grades 912: Art Portfolio
Prep., Brazilian Percussion, Comp TIA
A+, Stock Market, Game Design, Numerical Modeling, Programming/Date Science,
Performance and Technical Theater.
Please see our ad on page 11.

SCIENCE AND
TECHNOLOGY CAMPS
JCC Big Idea Hi-Tech Camp

Part of Neil Klatskin Summer Camps at the


Kaplen JCC on the Palisades
Taub Campus
411 E. Clinton Ave.
Tenafly, NJ 07670
Phone: 201-567-8963
www.jccotp.org/specialty-camps
Grades 38
Mon.Fri., June 26August18
9 a.m.4 p.m. (2 week sessions
available)
Design your future at our innovative tech
camp. BIG IDEA is a perfect mix of cuttingedge tech workshops and outdoor summer fun. Campers get to focus on special
projects, including robotics, digital photography, coding, 3D modeling,
DJ, film production and even fashion, all
taught in hands-on workshops by professional instructors from Israel and the US.
Curriculum developed by BIG IDEA, the
leaders of tech education in Israel. All
JCC specialty camps offer an all-inclusive
package that includes lunch, snacks,
daily swim and towel service. Campers
also have access to transportation and
extended care services. JCC membership
is not required.

to

Summer Camps

JCC Science Camp

Part of Neil Klatskin Summer Camps at the


Kaplen JCC on the Palisades
Taub Campus
411 E. Clinton Ave.
Tenafly, NJ 07670
Phone: 201-567-8963
www.jccotp.org/specialty-camps
Grades 36
Mon.Fri., July 10August 4
9 a.m.4 p.m. (weekly options available)
Explore the world of STEAMscience,
technology, engineering, arts, and mathematics. Each week experienced science
teachers will facilitate a challenging and
innovative program using hands on experiments, projects, and lots of FUN! All
JCC specialty camps offer an all-inclusive
package that includes lunch, snacks,
daily swim and towel service. Campers
also have access to transportation and
extended care services. JCC membership
is required for children in grade 3 through
age 10

ARTS, PERFORMANCE
AND MUSIC CAMPS
Art of Excellent Studio

Artist, Rina Goldhagen


Dates: Summer, 2017
Ages 7Adult
201-248-4779
www.artofexcellencestudio.com
Themed Arts and Craft camps available
this summer. You can email inquiries to
artofexcellencestudio@gmail.com. Ongoing lessons and portfolio classes available. Unlock your creative with classes
in drawing and watercolor. Please see our
ad on page 11.

The Performing Arts School Musical


Theater Summer Camp

1 Depot Square
Englewood, NJ 07631
Phone: 201-482-8194
Fax: 201-482-8391
www.bergenpac.org/summer
Ages: 512
Session Dates: Session 1: July 3July 21, 2017
(off for July 4)
Session 2: July 31August 18, 2017
Cost $850
Counselor to camper ratio: 3:15
Deadline for registration June 1, 2017
bergenPACs Summer Camp in the Performing Arts School provides our youth,
ages 5 to 12, an experience in the performing arts that they will never forget.
We will build confidence, understanding
and a sense of appreciation for the arts,
while giving campers the opportunity to
explore and develop their talents. $100
discount if registered and paid in full
by April 1. Tuition includes lunch and
snacks. After-camp care available for additional fee. Please see our ad on page 12.

Bounce U

70 Eisenhower Drive
Paramus, NJ 07652
201-843-5880
www.bounceU.com/paramus-nj
www.Facebook.com/BounceUParamus/
424 Market Street
Nanuet, NY
845-623-5400
www.BounceU.com/nanuet-ny
www.Facebook.com/BounceUNanuet/
Create and Bounce Art Camp
A little bit of exercise goes a long way toward inspiring your artists minds. Boun-

BE A RAMAHNIK FOR A DAY!


For prospective campers and families interested in Kayitz 2018

CAMPER 2018 DAY


Sunday, July 16, 2017 | 11:00am - 1:30pm

Camp Tours & Information Sessions for Parents | Meet Our Staff
Mini Camp Day for Prospective Campers | Enjoy a BBQ Lunch

Register online at www.ramahberkshires.org


Call 201-871-7262 (Before June 25th) or 845-832-6622 (Starting June 26th)
info@ramahberkshires.org
12 About Our Children FEBRUARY 2017

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Gu i d e
ceUs Create and Bounce program gives
kids a chance to enjoy physical activity
and creative time in equal doses, offering
an experience thats healthy, mentally engaging and seriously fun. Complete with
lunch, snacks, and games, its a one-of-akind camp experience theyll never forget. Please see our ad on page 9.

Cresskill Performing Arts

300 Knickerbocker Rd., Suite 1100


Cresskill, NJ 07626
Phone: 201-390-7513
and 201-266-8830
www.cresskillperformingarts.com
Ages: Toddlers - adults (studio)
Ages: 3 - teens (camp program)

Born to Perform April Break Camp is


April 10 - 14. Half day and full day camp
available. Dancing, acting, singing, arts
& crafts, gymnastics, silks & hammocks
& Iyra, creative Legos, and more. Also, a
special Ballet Camp in April, which can
be done with Born to Perform Camp or
separately. Be productive, busy, happy
and challenged during the school break.
Born to Perform Summer Camp: 3 programs, 9 weeks, ages 3 - teens. Preschool
Performers. Creative Children Preteen/
Teen Exploring Arts come for one or two
weeks or all summer. June 26 - August
25. Early drop-off/late pick-ups helps
working parents, too. Early registration
discount, call 201-390-7513 for details.
Please see our ad on page 7.

JCC Fine Arts Camp

Part of Neil Klatskin Summer Camps at the


Kaplen JCC on the Palisades
Taub Campus
411 E. Clinton Ave.
Tenafly, NJ
Phone: 201-567-8963
www.jccotp.org/specialty-camps
Grades 3-6
Mon.Fri., June 26August 18
9 a.m.4 p.m. (weekly options available)
Get creative and have a blast at Fine Arts
Camp! Each week campers focus on a
different, exciting project that will incorporate new art skills, methodology and
mediums. Each session also features a
visiting artist who will teach a hands-on
workshop in their craft. All JCC specialty
camps offer an all-inclusive package that
includes lunch, snacks, daily swim and
towel service. Campers also have access
to transportation and extended care services. JCC membership is required for
children in grade 3 through age 10.

JCC Center Stage Camp

Part of Neil Klatskin Summer Camps at the


Kaplen JCC on the Palisades
Taub Campus
411 E. Clinton Ave. Tenafly, NJ 07607
Phone: 201-408-1493
www.jccotp.org/specialty-camps
Grades 49
Orientation/placement: June 25
Mon.Fri., June 26-July 14
9 a.m.4 p.m.
This performing experience for beginner/
intermediate and advanced actors, centers on Anything Goes and More, a highly-entertaining and funny BRd.way-style
musical, with sets, costumes, challenging
dialogue, big musical numbers and solos,
plus workshops in acting, movement, singing and improv. Concludes with an incredible high-level final production. All JCC
specialty camps offer an all-inclusive package that includes lunch, snacks, daily swim
and towel service. Campers also have access to transportation and extended care
services. JCC membership is required for
campers in grade 3 through age 10.

to

Summer Camps

JCC BRd.way Performance Intensive

Part of Neil Klatskin Summer Camps at the


Kaplen JCC on the Palisades
Taub Campus
411 E. Clinton Ave.
Tenafly, NJ 07607
Phone: 201-408-1493
www.jccotp.org/specialty-camps
Grades 5-10
Orientation/placement: July 16
Mon.Fri., July 1728
9 a.m.4 p.m.
An exciting musical theater program for
intermediate/advanced students that
provides individualized attention to better develop talent and increase skill level
in singing, acting, comedy and musical
theater movement. Led by well-known
BRd.way musical director Joe Baker and
his NYC colleagues. Culminates with two,
big cabaret-style performances featuring
solos and numbers from BRd.way musicals, comedy skits, short scenes and
popular rock songs. Interview/audition
required. All JCC specialty camps offer an
all-inclusive package that includes lunch,
snacks, daily swim and towel service.
Campers also have access to transportation and extended care services. . JCC
membership is required for campers in
grade 5 through age 10.

JCC Little Dancers Mini-Camp


Kaplen JCC on the Palisades
Taub Campus
411 E. Clinton Ave.
Tenafly, NJ 07607
Phone: 201-408-1495
www.jccotp.org/children-mini-camps

Ages 35
Mon.Fri., June 1223 & August 2125
9 a.m.4 p.m.
A fun filled day of dance and camp activities! Our week includes dance classes in
Ballet, Hip Hop, and Tap! In addition, the
children enjoy arts and crafts, playground

JCC Comedy Theater Camp:


Improvisation & Short Acts

Part of Neil Klatskin Summer Camps at the


Kaplen JCC on the Palisades
Taub Campus
411 E. Clinton Ave.
Tenafly, NJ 07607
Phone: 201-408-1493
www.jccotp.org/specialty-camps
Grades 3-6
Mon.Fri., July 31-August 18
(weekly options available)
9 a.m.4 p.m.
Theater games, funny shows, stand-up
comedy. Create your own sketches and
play great characters in short acts chosen by the instructor. Learn cool comic
skills for dealing with sticky situations,
act out your favorite jokes. Become a
confident actor and performer. Led by a
master comic actor from BRd.way, who
has been the voice of so many funny commercials and prize-winning video games.
All JCC specialty camps offer an all-inclusive package that includes lunch, snacks,
daily swim and towel service. Campers
also have access to transportation and
extended care services. JCC membership is required for campers in grade 5
through age 10.

JCC Dance Intensive

Part of Neil Klatskin Summer Camps at the


Kaplen JCC on the Palisades
Taub Campus
411 E. Clinton Ave.
Tenafly, NJ 07607
Phone: 201-408-1495
www.jccotp.org/specialty-camps
Grades 310
Mon.Fri., July 31August 11
9 a.m.4 p.m.
Enjoy two weeks of dance technique that
explores all the latest crazes and new
dance forms. Students take sessions in
ballet, jazz, and hip-hop each day, while
working toward an end-of-camp dance
performance on stage and in costume! Improve skill level, build strength, and gain
more flexibility while having a great time!
All JCC specialty camps offer an all-inclusive package that includes lunch, snacks,
daily swim and towel service. Campers
also have access to transportation and
extended care services. JCC membership is required for campers in grade 3
through age 10.

Your Childs
Summer Memories
Start at Camp Veritans
Day Camp!

Tuition Includes:

Wide Variety of Programs:

Daily Catered Hot Kosher Lunches


Daily Transportation
Low Camper to Counselor Ratio
Red Cross Instructional Swim
Extended Day Option Available

Serving Pre-K

to 10th Grade

New, Enhanced
CIT Program

Nature
Go Karts
Ropes Course

Arts & Crafts


Archery
Mad Science
Basketball
Cooking

Call or Email for a


Personalized Tour!

Soccer
Football
and so

much more!

4-Year-Old
Program
Available

Registrar@CampVeritans.com
(973) 956-1220
Registrar@CampVeritans.com
(973) 956-1220
225 Pompton Road, Haledon, NJ 07508

WeLoveCampVeritans

About Our Children FEBRUARY 2017 13

AOC-14

Gui d e
time, splashing in the waterpark and rest/
video time. Our teachers are experienced
dance teachers with a warm, caring approach in the classroom. Extended care
available until 6 pm upon request. August
session includes lunch, snack and access
to transportation. JCC membership is
required.

JCC Dance Mini-Camp

Kaplen JCC on the Palisades


Taub Campus
411 E. Clinton Ave.
Tenafly, NJ 07607
Phone: 201-408-1495
www.jccotp.org/children-mini-camps
Ages 68
Mon.Fri., August 2125
9 a.m.4 p.m.
A fun filled day of dance and camp activities! Students take class in Ballet, Jazz,
and Hip Hop each morning! Improve your
skill level, build strength, and gain flexibility while having a great time! In addition, the children enjoy arts and crafts,
playground time, recreational swim, and
camp activities. Our teachers are experienced dance teachers with a warm, caring approach in the classroom. Lunch,
Snack and towel service included. Campers also have access to transportation
and extended care services. JCC membership is required.

JCC Chamber Music Camp

Part of Neil Klatskin Summer Camps at the


Kaplen JCC on the Palisades
Taub Campus
411 E. Clinton Ave.
Tenafly, NJ 07607
Phone: 201-408-1465

www.jccotp.org/specialty-camps
Grades 312
Mon.Fri., June 2630
9 a.m.4 p.m.
The JCC Thurnauer School of Musics
Chamber Music Camp brings together talented young musicians and an acclaimed
faculty of artists and educators to experience the joys of ensemble playing in an
atmosphere of success and enjoyment.
The camp accepts a select group of string
players and pianists, based on auditions,
interviews and recommendations. Students are divided into ensembles according to age and skill level. All JCC specialty
camps offer an all-inclusive package that
includes lunch, snacks, daily swim and
towel service. Campers also have access
to transportation and extended care services. JCC membership is not required.

JCC Musical Explorers Mini-Camp

Kaplen JCC on the Palisades


Taub Campus
411 E. Clinton Ave.
Tenafly, NJ 07607
Phone: 201-408-1465
www.jccotp.org/children-mini-camps
Ages 3-5
Mon.Fri., August 2125
9 a.m.4 p.m.
Summer is a time to create, explore and
play. Children in our camp are music investigators, discovering and building different instruments, learning to play the
drums, singing their favorite songs, and
using movement and games as a tool to
learn to read music! In addition to all of
our musical discoveries, our young explorers will enjoy the water park, playground, arts and crafts, rest time, lunch/

Scholastic Summer Camp Program

to

Summer Camps

snack time. Professional early childhood


music teachers, and counselors who sing,
play percussion, violin, piano and clarinet are some of the many teachers your
children will enjoy! This camp offers an
all-inclusive package that includes lunch,
snacks, daily swim and towel service.
Campers also have access to transportation and extended care services. JCC
membership is not required.

JCC Teen Town Jazz Mini-Camp

Kaplen JCC on the Palisades


Taub Campus
411 E. Clinton Ave.
Tenafly, NJ 07607
Phone: 201-408-1465
www.jccotp.org/children-mini-camps
Grades 612
Mon.Fri., August 2125
9 a.m.4 p.m.
Dive deep into jazz in this fun and intensive one-week experience that includes
rehearsing and performing, as well as
learning about jazz history and theory.
Open to piano, bass, drums, trumpets,
trombones and saxophones. Audition required. This camp offers an all-inclusive
package that includes lunch, snacks,
daily swim and towel service. Campers
also have access to transportation and
extended care services. JCC membership
is not required.

JCC FluteStars Mini-Camp

Kaplen JCC on the Palisades


Taub Campus
411 E. Clinton Ave.
Tenafly, NJ 07607
Phone: 201-408-1465
www.jccotp.org/children-mini-camps
Ages 35
Sun. & Mon., August 2728
9 a.m.4 p.m.
FluteStars Summer Intensive is for intermediate and advanced flutists. Daily
schedule includes master class-style private lessons, private practice time with
a practice coach, and large ensemble
rehearsals. Emphasis will be on development of musical expression, beautiful
tone and refined technique. The rehearsal schedule is mixed with free time for
socializing and recreation. This exciting
workshop culminates with a final concert
in which flutists will perform their polished solos and a large group collaboration on stage for family and friends. Audition is required. JCC membership is not
required.

SPORTS PROGRAMS/CAMPS
Ice Vault

Natasha Komarov, PHD


Dartmouth University, Math Professor
St. Lawrence (11 years with ICA)

Ilya Krasnovsky
Princeton Graduate
(16 years with ICA)

10 Nevins Rd.
Wayne, NJ 07470
973-628-1500
Applications will be available soon for
summer camp 2017. Please check back
for camp updates. Summer ice hockey
camps include: Erik Nates Euro Hockey
from June 26 to June 30. FUNdamental
Camp (Atoms to 10 years old) from July
5 to July 7. Laura Stamm Power Skating,
July 10th to July 14 and ProAmbitions
from July 24 to July 28. More to come.
Please see our ad on page 3.

JCC Multi-Sport Camp


Mark Aksen
4th year Princeton
(13 years ICA)

Alex katz
3rd year MIT
(16 years with ICA)

To register please visit our website:


Mark Vayngrib
MIT Grad; Software Engineer
(9 years with ICA)

www.icachesscamp.com

14 About Our Children FEBRUARY 2017

Max Yelsky
Johns Hopkins University Graduate
(13 years with ICA)

Part of Neil Klatskin Summer Camps at the


Kaplen JCC on the Palisades
Taub Campus
411 E. Clinton Ave.
Tenafly, NJ 07607
Phone: 201-408-1476
www.jccotp.org/specialty-camps
Grades 38
Mon.Fri., June 26September 1
(weekly options available)
9 a.m.4 p.m.

Perfect for campers who like variety! This


camp focuses on building fundamentals
across a variety of sports, for all skill
levels, in a relaxed and fun environment.
Campers will love making use of all the
courts and fields the JCC has to offer,
while learning and improving their skills.
Includes performance training to build
strength, endurance and flexibility, which
increases productivity. All JCC specialty
camps offer an all-inclusive package that
includes lunch, snacks, daily swim and
towel service. Campers also have access
to transportation and extended care services. JCC membership is required.

JCC Basketball Camp

Part of Neil Klatskin Summer Camps at the


Kaplen JCC on the Palisades
Taub Campus
411 E. Clinton Ave.
Tenafly, NJ 07607
Phone: 201-408-1476
www.jccotp.org/specialty-camps
Grades 3-8
Mon.Fri., June 26September 1
(weekly options available)
9 a.m.4 p.m.
If you love basketballthis camp is for
you! Our JCC basketball professionals
bring their love of the game and incomparable coaching skills to teach and enhance your campers skills at every level.
Includes performance training to build
strength, endurance and flexibility, which
increases productivity. All JCC specialty
camps offer an all-inclusive package that
includes lunch, snacks, daily swim and
towel service. Campers also have access
to transportation and extended care services. JCC membership is required.

The Michelle Weiss Childrens


Tennis Camp

Part of Neil Klatskin Summer Camps at the


Kaplen JCC on the Palisades
Taub Campus
411 E. Clinton Ave.
Tenafly, NJ 07607
Phone: 201-408-1476
www.jccotp.org/specialty-camps
Grades 38
Mon.Fri., June 26-September 1 (weekly
options available)
9 a.m.4 p.m.
Whether your camper has his/her sights
on the US Open or is just looking for
some time on the courts with friends
this camp will provide a swinging good
time. Campers will enhance their understanding of the game and build skills and
confidence through interactive games
and drills, while also increasing strength,
endurance, and flexibility through performance training. All JCC specialty
camps offer an all-inclusive package that
includes lunch, snacks, daily swim and
towel service. Campers also have access
to transportation and extended care services. JCC membership is required

JCC Marty Perlman Sports Mini-Camp

Kaplen JCC on the Palisades


Taub Campus
411 E. Clinton Ave.
Tenafly, NJ 07607
Phone: 201-408-1476
www.jccotp.org/children-mini-camps
Age 3Grade 8
Mon.Fri., August 21-September 1 (weekly
options available)
9 a.m.4 p.m.
Build fundamental skills across a variety
of sports. This multi-sport camp utilizes
all the JCCs sports courts and fields and
ends each day in our beautiful outdoor
pool. Appropriate for all skill levels, a
great way to learn and improve skills
in a relaxed and fun environment. This

AOC-15

Gu i d e
camp offers an all-inclusive package that
includes lunch, snacks, daily swim and
towel service. Campers also have access
to transportation and extended care services. JCC membership is required.

JCC Multi-Sport Mini-Camp

Kaplen JCC on the Palisades


Taub Campus
411 E. Clinton Ave.
Tenafly, NJ 07607
Phone: 201-408-1476
www.jccotp.org/children-mini-camps
Age 3Grade 6
Mon.Fri., June 1223 (weekly options
available)
9 a.m.4 p.m.
Build fundamental skills across a variety
of sports. This multi-sport camp utilizes
all the JCCs sports courts and fields and
ends each day in our beautiful outdoor
pool. Appropriate for all skill levels, a
great way to learn and improve skills in
a relaxed and fun environment. Include
daily outdoor swim time. JCC membership is required.

theraputic
adventure program
Project Extreme for Boys/Girls

335 Central Ave.


Lawrence, NY 11559
Phone: 516-612-3922
Fax: 516-612-3924
www.projectextreme.org
Ages: 14 to 18
Session Dates: Boys July 4 to July 24
Girls August 1 to August 22
Cost: $5,000 with scholarship available
Counselor camper ratio 1:1
Evie Hoffman
Director of Special Events
Here is description/comments: The focus
of CAMP EXTREME FOR BOYS and CAMP
EXTREME FOR GIRLS is to help at-risk
teens overcome destructive patterns,
gain self-confidence and master survival
skills by completing a rigorous program
that includes rock climbing, rope courses,
white water rafting, building fires, group
discussions, and other challenging activities. Camp Extreme for Boys takes place
in the Canadian Rockies. Camp Extreme
for girls take place on our Minnesota
Campus. Please see our ad on page 15.

SPECIAL NEEDS
SUMMER PROGRAMS
Camp Haverim

Kaplen JCC on the Palisades


Taub Campus
411 E. Clinton Ave.
Tenafly, NJ 07607
Phone: 201-408-1489
www.jccotp.org/special-needs-summer-programs
Ages 321
Mon.Fri., August 1425
9 a.m.3:45 p.m.
Where differences are celebrated. A unique
two-week camp for children and teens
with autism and other intellectual, cognitive and developmental delays, with sufficient communication and self-help skills,
and attend 11 months of special schooling.
Campers participate in a diverse full-day
program including social skills, swimming
and water park activities, sports and adaptive physical education, yoga, academic
enrichment, music therapy, arts and therapy dogs. Small camper to staff ratio to
meet camper needs with highly qualified
staff. An intake interview is required for all
new campers. State funding and scholarship assistance is available. JCC membership is not required.

to

Summer Camps

Neil Klatskin Day Camp: Tikvah

Kaplen JCC on the Palisades


Taub Campus
411 E. Clinton Ave.
Tenafly, NJ 07607
Phone: 201-408-1489
http://www.jccotp.org/special-needs-summerprograms
Ages 515
Mon.Fri., June 26August 18
9 a.m.4 p.m.
Campers with communication, social,
behavioral and learning differences
participate in a diverse camp program,
including social skills, sports, arts and
crafts, ceramics, music, adaptive physical education, both instructional and recreational swim, waterpark, petting zoo,
theme days, playground time, carnivals,
Shabbat and more. Small camper to staff
ratio to meet individual camper needs
with highly qualified staff. An intake interview is required for any new camper. Full
day and shorter day options available.
Half-day afternoon option available for
campers who attend 11-months of schooling. Campers ages 59 get to experience
a traditional camp. Campers ages 1015
have the added benefit of a special life
skills camp that helps teens gain the skills
and confidence they need to become selfsufficient in activities of daily living, while
enjoying a full camp experience. Special
attention is given to life skills and prevocational training through job sampling
within the JCC facility as well as academic
enrichment.

On Our Own: Young Adult Summer


Camp

OurChildren
About

Camps2Go Mini-Camp

Continue your summer of adventure and


nonstop fun! Every day Campers will enjoy day trips, swimming, sports, arts, and
more! This camp offers an all-inclusive
package that includes lunch, snacks,
daily swim and towel service. Campers
also have access to transportation and
extended care services. JCC membership
is required for children under 10 years.

Kaplen JCC on the Palisades


Taub Campus
411 E. Clinton Ave.
Tenafly, NJ 07607
Phone: 201-408-1476
www.jccotp.org/children-mini-camps
Grades K6
MonFri, Aug 2125
9 a.m.4 p.m.

SPORTS BROADCASTING CAMP!


is back for our 12th year

July7 10-14, 42017

Boys & Girls 10-18


Day/Overnight
options available

Learn
Learnfrom
fromthe
thePros
Pros
Meet
sports
celebrities
Meet sports celebrities
Make play-by-play &
reporting
Make play-by-play
& reporting tapes
tapes
Makesports
sportsanchor
anchortapes
tapes
from a
Make
from
more!
aTV
TVstudio
studioand
and much
much more!

For more
moreinfo
infocall
call 800.319.0884 or
For
800.319.0884
or visit
visit www.playbyplaycamps.com
www.playbyplaycamps.com
Facebook.com/sportsbroadcastingcamps
Facebook.com/sportsbroadcastingcamps
Youtube.com/sportsbroadcastcamp
Youtube.com/sportsbroadcastcamp

Kaplen JCC on the Palisades


Taub Campus
411 E. Clinton Ave.
Tenafly, NJ 07607
Phone: 201-408-1489
http://www.jccotp.org/special-needs-summerprograms
Ages 1530
Mon.Fri., June 26August 11
9:30 a.m.2:30 p.m.
A seven-week life skills, pre-vocational
and recreational program for teens and
young adults with intellectual and developmental delays, including autism, with
self-help skills to independently participate within a 1:3 staffing ratio. Activities
include weekly trips, swim, gym, music,
community based instruction, volunteer
opportunities and more. JCC membership is not required. New participants
must have an intake interview.

Do you know a teen grappling


with harmful self esteem
issues, severe depression and
crippling fears of resentment?

Project Extreme
Boys Camp
July 4-July 24
Canadian Rockies

MINI CAMP
Camp Shemesh Mini-Camp

Kaplen JCC on the Palisades


Taub Campus
411 E. Clinton Ave.
Tenafly, NJ 07607
Phone: 201-408-1476
www.jccotp.org/children-mini-camps
Age 35
Mon.Fri., June 1223 (weekly options available)
9 a.m.4 p.m.
Spend the days in between school and
camp having a ball at Camp Shemesh!
Each day will have a unique and exciting
theme, such as field day, pajama day, and
beach day. Our creative and experienced
staff will provide a variety of fun filled activities throughout each day, including
art, water park, music and so much more.
Spaces limited dont miss out on these
two wonderful weeks! JCC membership is
required.

Nations
#1 Sports
Broadcasting
Camp!

Project Extreme
Girls Camp
August 1August 22
Minnesota Campus
One-to-one staff-camper ratio
Staff includes licensed mental
health professionals
Interrupt negative behavior
patterns

Enhance feelings of self worth


Foster healthy decision
making
Improve family relationships
Long term follow up

Helpline & Crisis Intervention

Call for information today


Project Extreme
516-612-3922
www.projectextreme.org

About Our Children FEBRUARY 2017 15

AOC-16*

1. Teachers, Cantor
Alan Sokoloff, and
Laurie Kudowitz of
Temple Emanuel of
the Pascack Valley in
Woodcliff Lake made
sufganiyot (donuts)
with their 7th graders
for Chanukah.
2. Students of Shomrei
Torah in Wayne
decorated mezuzah
cases that will be
donated to hang in
the J-ADD homes of
adults with special
needs. J-ADD assists
adults with special
needs in various
programs, including
residential and
vocational programs.

3. The Chabad Center of Passaic County held an Emoji Chanukah Party. As part of the annual
Flames of Giving program, the CTeens gave the gift of giving by donating gifts to children.
4. The youth department of Congregation Ahavat Achim in Fair Lawn recently delivered home-baked
chocolate chip cookies to volunteer first responders at the Fair Lawn Ambulance Corps.
5. Students of the JCCP/CBT Hebrew School in Paramus enjoy hanging out with their friends in the
newly renovated Youth Lounge before school begins.
6. Temple Emeth 3rd, 4th and 5th graders chose their favorite prayer to adorn the mitzvah tree as
part of the Religious School Tu BShevat celebration.

16 ABOUT OUR CHILDREN FEBRUARY 2017

AOC-17*
OurChildren
About

TopChoices
CO M P I L E D BY H E I D I M A E B RAT T

F E B R U A R Y 2 0 17

David Weinstone & the Music


for Aardvarks Band

Check out the sounds of David Weinstone who has changed the musical geography of
kids music, critics praise. Groove to the original rocking sound of The Music for Aardvarks
Band led by Mr. Weinstone. Celebrate city life with cool and catchy favorite tunes at this
family concert that is tailored for youngsters 2 to 5 years old, but can be enjoyed by all.
Sunday, Feb. 12. 11:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. The Jewish Museum, Scheuer Auditorium,
1109 Fifth Ave. and 92nd St., Manhattan. 212-423-3200, www.thejewishmuseum.org

Sing Along and Dress Up


With Disneys Frozen
Its one of the most popular films to hit the big screen and, with the fairy dust of
sing along added, you are guaranteed to have a super time at Disneys Frozen
Sing Along Costume Party at bergenPAC on Sunday, Feb. 12. Come on an epic
journey to find Annas sister Elsa, the Snow Queen, and put an end to her icy
spell. Remember to dress up as your favorite character and be a snow queen,
Sven the reindeer or Olaf, the coolest snowman ever and take pictures with Elsa
and Anna following the show. Sunday, Feb. 12, 1 and 4 p.m. bergenPAC, 30
North Van Brunt St., Englewood, 201-227-1030, www.bergenpac.org.

Mole Rats Come


to Liberty Science

Masters of Illusion
Amazes at bergenPAC
The hit television series, Masters of Illusion, breaks out of the box and into bergenPAC.
Whether in Las Vegas or on television, magic has never been hotter. Nothing beats the
experience of seeing a magic show in person. Audience members will marvel at the
huge production values and be drawn in by the immediacy of a live performance. No
camera tricks, no computer graphics-just amazing illusions in real time in front of a live
audience. Thursday, Feb. 9, 8 p.m., bergenPAC, 30 North Van Brunt St., Englewood,
201-227-1030, www.bergenpac.org.

17 ABOUT OUR CHILDREN FEBRUARY 2017

From their bald, wrinkly appearance to their inexplicable


good health, naked mole rats
are among the strangest and
most extraordinary creatures
you will ever see. Perhaps you
know about naked mole rates
from cartoon characters like
Rufus on Disney Channels Kim
Impossible, but the real ones
are more fascinating than any
cartoon. Did you know they
are so healthy, live up to 32
years, never get cancer, and
never grow old? These animals
are being studied by scientists
for their super health properties. Come check them out. Liberty Science Center,
Liberty State Park, 222 Jersey City Boulevard, Jersey City. 201-200-1000,
www.lsc.org.

ABOUT OUR CHILDREN FEBRUARY 2017 17

AOC-18*

The Good Life With Kids

F E B R UA RY

To Our Readers: This calendar is a day-by-day schedule of events. Although all information is as timely as we can make it, its a good idea to call to
verify details before you go.

Friday, January 27

Words to Action: ADL program designed as an


interactive program to combat anti-Semitism,
bias and prejudice on college campus. Students
grades 8 to 12 are welcomed with their parents
and other members of the Wayne Jewish community. 7 to 9 p.m. Temple Beth Tikvah, 950
Preakness Ave, Wayne. 973-595-6565

Thursday, February 2
Words to Action: ADL program designed as an
interactive program to combat anti-Semitism,
bias and prejudice on college campus. Students
grades 6 and 7 are welcomed with their parents
and other members of the Wayne Jewish community. 3:45 to 5 p.m. Temple Beth Tikvah, 950
Preakness Ave, Wayne. 973-595-6565.

Friday, February 3
Family Worship at Temple Emeth: Join in family
Shabbat services starting at 7:30 p.m. Temple
Emeth, 1666 Windsor Road, Teaneck. 201-8331322, www.emeth.org.
Eat, Pray, Shabbat: First Friday Potluck and
Shabbat service at Temple Beth El, Jersey Citys
Reform congregation. 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. Bring
chicken or vegetable main dish, salad or side dish
for 8 or more people. Services will follow dinner.
Temple Beth-El, 2419 JFK Boulevard, Jersey City.
201-333-4229, www.betheljc.org.

18 ABOUT OUR CHILDREN FEBRUARY 2017

Deadline for March issue (published


February 24): Tuesday, February 14

Moriah School Art Show: On display our first art


show featuring the work of students from nursery
through 8th grades. The framed pieces will be on
display and for sale. From 6 to 9 p.m. The Moriah
School, 53 S. Woodland St., Englewood. 201-5670208. www.moriahschool.org.

Nai Ni Chen Dance Company: A delight for the


family, the Year of the Rooster combines the
elegance of traditional Asian art and beauty of
American modern dance. 2 p.m. NJPAC, Victoria
Theater, One Center Street, Newark. 888-4665722, www.njpac.org.

Tuesday, January 31

Send it to:
Calendar Editor
About Our Children
New Jersey/Rockland Jewish Media Group
1086 Teaneck Road
Teaneck, NJ 0766 AboutOCaol.com
or fax it to: 201-833-4959

Wednesday, February 8

Saturday, January 28

Super Sunday: Be a Superhero at JFNNJs Super


Sunday. Make calls, eat pizza and do some good!
Family Fun Day includes a character breakfast,
Camp-a-palooza, camp activities, Israeli-style
fun and games and more. Yeshivat Noam, 70
W. Century Road, Paramus. 201-820-3902,
sarahd@jfnnj.org.
Nai Ni Chen Dance Company: A delight for the
family, the Year of the Rooster combines the
elegance of traditional Asian art and beauty of
American modern dance. 2 p.m. NJPAC, Victoria
Theater, One Center Street, Newark. 888-4665722, www.njpac.org.
Hot Peas N Butter Family Concert: Shake
and sizzle to the multicultural rhythms of Hot
Peas N Butter. Hear a mix of contagious beats,
from vibrant Puerto Rican folk music to soulful American blues. For youngsters 3 to 8
years old. 11:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. The Jewish
Museum, Scheuer Auditorium, 1109 Fifth Ave.
and 92nd St., Manhattan. 212-423-3200, www.
thejewishmuseum.org.

To Add Your Event to Our Calendar

snacks, dance/game room. 973-694-6274, www.


fcpassaiccounty.com.
Used Book Sale: The Social Action Committee of
the Fair Lawn Jewish Center/Congregation Bnai
Israel, 10-10 Norma Ave., Fair Lawn will sponsor a
Used Book Sale from 9:45 a.m. to 6 p.m.

Tot Shabbat at Temple Beth El: Temple Beth El


of Northern Valley will host a Tot Shabbat, welcoming families with young children. John Rabbi
David Widzer, Canto Rica Timman and Rabbi Beth
Kramer-Mazer. A craft project will follow. Temple
Beth El, 221 Schraalenburgh Road, Closter. 201767-5112. www.tbenv.org.

Sunday, January 29

OurChildren
About

Thursday, February 9
See Family Art Project, Sunday, February 5

Saturday, February 4
Family Shabbat Program at Congregation
Bnai Israel: Monthly family service at 10:30
a.m. Geared toward families with children 7 and
younger; also 8 to 11 years old. This month there
will be a Tu BShevat celebration. A pizza, salad
and ice cream lunch will follow. Congregation
Bnai Israel, 53 Palisade Ave., Emerson, 201265-2272, office@bisrael.com.
Saturday Night Zumba Party: Kaplen JCC on
the Palisades features a Saturday night Zumba
party from 7:30 to 8:45 p.m. Open to ages 12
and older. Participants will have the chance to
dance to non-stop Latin, Hip-Hop, and African
music. Free and open to the community. Kaplen
JCC on the Palisades, 411 E. Clinton Ave., Tenafly.
201-408-1481, join@jccotp.org

Sunday, February 5
Meet Elmo and the Cookie Monster: Sesame
Street comes to Academies at Gerrard Berman
Day School. 10 to 11 a.m. Meet and greet Elmo
and Cookie Monster, listen to story time in English
and Hebrew and do fun crafts. Academies at
Gerrard Berman Day School Solomon Schechter
of North Jersey, 45 Spruce St., Oakland. 201-3371111. www.ssnj.org.
Special Talents Art Show Opening: Opening
reception from 1 to 3 p.m. at the Waltuch Gallery
at the JCC on the Palisades, sponsor of its annual
art exhibition featuring work by members of the
special needs community. JCC on the Palisades,
411 E. Clinton Ave., Tenafly. 201-408-1489, www.
jccotp.org.
Pancake Breakfast at Temple Beth Or: Join the
third annual Pancake Breakfast from 11 a.m. to
1 p.m. at Temple Beth Or, 56 Ridgewood Road,
Township of Washington. Proceeds of the breakfast will be use toward technology for the religious
school. 201-664-7422. www.templebethornj.org.
Family Art Project: Coyote and Owls Fixtures
and Tricksters. Hear about the folklore surrounding these mysterious creatures, the owl and the
coyote. Learn about these animals and their special attributes. Join visiting artist Yeon Jin Kim to
create art. Free with ground admission. Wave Hill
House, 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. Wave Hill, 649 W. 249
St., Bronx, NY. 718-549-3200, www.wavehill.org.
Friendship Circle Swim and Snacks: Outing
for children with special needs. 3:30 to 5:30
p.m. Spa 23, 381 Route 23, Pompton Plains.
Lifeguards will be provided as well as Friendship
Circle volunteers. $10 per child includes swim,

Masters of Illusion: Television magic show comes


to life at bergenPAC. Nothing beats the experience of seeing a magic show in person. Audience
members will marvel at the huge production
values and be drawn in by the immediacy of a
live performance. 8 p.m. bergenPAC, 30 North
Van Brunt St., Englewood, 201-227-1030, www.
bergenpac.org.

Friday, February 10
Tot Shabbat in Franklin Lakes: Tot Shabbat services and pizza dinner at Barnert Temple beginning at 5 p.m. with Rabbi Frishman. Pre-readers
are invited to this family friendly service. Barnert
Temple, 747 Route 208 South, Franklin Lakes.
201-848-1027, www.barnerttemple.org.
Tot Shabbat at Temple Beth Or: Tot Shabbat
with special guest musician ShirLaLa (Shira Klein)
starting at 6 p.m. Join Rabbi Noah, Cantor Sarah
and other families with young children to sit
together on the bimah and welcome Shabbat.
Temple Beth Or, 56 Ridgewood Road, Township of
Washington. 201-664-7422,www.templebethornj.
org.
Shabbat Shazam: Join a Mommy & Me featuring Shabbat Music at The Academies at Gerrard
Berman Day School 9:30 a.m. Academies at
Gerrard Berman Day School Solomon Schechter
of North Jersey, 45 Spruce St., Oakland. 201-3371111. www.ssnj.org.

Sunday, February 12
David Weinstone & the Music for Aardvarks
Band: Family concert from 11:30 a.m. to 12:30
p.m. Groove to the original rockin sound of The

Moriah School Art Show, see Wednesday,


February 8
Music for Aardvarks Band led by David Weinstone.
The Jewish Museum, Scheuer Auditorium, 1109
Fifth Ave. and 92nd St., Manhattan. 212-4233200, www.thejewishmuseum.org.
Backstage at the Y Talks: Enter the Y, One Pike
Drive, Wayne, through its backstage door, pass the
dressing rooms, wander in the wings, say hello to
the stagehand, step onto the stage, and finally be
seated to become part of an intimate audience.
The setting alone makes this series unique, but
it is the artists who make it special. Looking back
at Disneys Beauty and the Beast. 11:45 to 1 p.m.
One Pike Drive, Wayne.

Wednesday, February 15
Postive Coping: Find the best way to manage
stress and deal with difficult situations in this
Valley Hospital lecture. Featured speaker is Susan
Breithaupt, who will share techniques on how to
incorporate healthy strategies to improve your life.
10:30 to 11:30 a.m. The Dorothy B. Kraft Center,
15 Essex Road, Paramus. 877-283-2276.

Friday, February 17
Shabbat Musical Service at Temple Emeth: Join
in a Shabbat musical service starting at 8 p.m.
Join Rabbi Steven Sirbu and Cantor Ellen Tilem
and the Temple Emeth Band. Temple Emeth,
1666 Windsor Road, Teaneck. 201-833-1322,
www.emeth.org.
Shabbat Hallelu at Temple Beth Or: Celebrate
Shabbat with a musical service for the whole
family. Tambourines, tubas, singing and clapping.
Open to the community. 7:30 p.m. Temple Beth
Or, 56 Ridgewood Road, Township of Washington.
call 201-664-7422 or visit www.templebethornj.
org.
Shabbat Shazam: Join a Mommy & Me featuring Shabbat Music at The Academies at Gerrard
Berman Day School 9:30 a.m. Academies at
Gerrard Berman Day School Solomon Schechter
of North Jersey, 45 Spruce St., Oakland. 201-3371111. www.ssnj.org.

Saturday, February 18

See Special Talents Art Show Opening, Sunday,


February 5

Peking Acrobats: The Peking Acrobats push the


envelope of human possibility, combining agility and grace in feats of artistry. 1 p.m. NJPAC,
Prudential Hall One Center Street, Newark, 888466-5722, www.njpac.org.

AOC-19*
OurChildren
About

Simchas
Births

Elements of Hip Hop Workshop


at bergenPAC
The Performing Arts School at bergenPAC is will offer the Elements of Hip Hop
Workshop Series. Students ages 8 to 18
will learn skills in DJing, MCing, Graffiti
Art, Beatboxing and Breakdancing. The
workshop series will end with a performance open to the public.
The history and culture of Hip
Hop is quickly becoming a part of mainstream arts education, said Becky
Hinkle, managing director of The Performing Arts School. The Performing
Arts School at bergenPAC couldnt be
more excited to offer this genre within
our educational curriculum. Students
will learn various artistic skills and will
find unique and creative ways to express
themselves, while having the privilege
to study alongside world-renowned Hip
Hop artists.
The Elements of Hip Hop is led by

world renowned Hip Hop Cultural Ambassador Sheikia Purple Haze Norris.
Purple is a master Hip Hop teaching
artist and performer who travels the
world spreading the love of Hip Hop history and culture.
Hip Hop is a mind blowing cultural
experience, inviting all to participate
and co-create a musical journey using ones authentic self-expression,
said Purple.
The series will run on February 4, 11,
25 and 26 from 4 to 8 p.m. The workshop
sessions will be held at The Performing Arts School at bergenPAC, 1 Depot
Square, Englewood. $100 per session,
and $360 for all four sessions. Free for
Englewood students. Pre-registration
is required. 201-482-8194, education@
bergenpac.org

PARTY
Temple Beth Or Cantor Sarah Silverberg
with her husband, Marc, and their first child,
Maya Rae.

Temple Beth Or Rabbi Noah Fabricant is pictured with his wife, Alexandra Harwin, and
their second child, Frances Shalva.

Temple Beth Or in Washington Township


expanded its first family this past summer.
The shuls rabbi, Noah Fabricant, and cantor,
Sarah Silverberg, welcomed new babies into
their families. Cantor Silverberg gave birth to
daughter, Maya Rae, on July 21, and on August
19, Alexandra Harwin, wife of Rabbi Fabricant,

gave birth to Frances Franny Shalva, who


joins big sister, Lorry, 2.
Rabbi Noah and Cantor Sarah joined Temple
Beth Or in July 2014. They are both leaders
and participants in TBOs community programming for young families.

973-661-9368

B'nai mitzvah
LUCY JEROME
Lucy Jerome, daughter of
Helen and Marc Jerome
of Englewood, celebrated
becoming a bat mitzvah on
January 7 at Temple Beth El
of Northern Valley in Closter.

TAYLOR PERNICK
Taylor Pernick, daughter of
Kerri and Glenn Pernick of
Woodcliff Lake and sister of
Ally, celebrated becoming a
bat mitzvah on December
17 at Temple Emanuel in
Woodcliff Lake.

JARED POMARLEN

MAX ZUCKERMAN

Jared Pomarlen, son of


Brigitte and Brian Pomarlen
of Wayne and brother of
Jacob and Jordan, celebrated
becoming a bar mitzvah on
January 14 at the Chabad
Center of Passaic County
in Wayne. He also marked
the event at the Kotel
in Jerusalem.

Max Zuckerman, son of Amy


and Kenneth Zuckerman of
Woodcliff Lake and brother of
Harry, celebrated becoming a
bar mitzvah on January 21 at
Temple Emanuel in Woodcliff
Lake.

Include:
1 hours of skating (during public session)
Private decorated party room
Off ice party attendant
Skate rental
Invitations for party guests
Pizza and soda
Personalized Carvel ice cream cake
Favors and candy
FREE skating pass for future use
Birthday child receives FREE Ice Vault T shirt

More than 404,000 likes.

Like us on Facebook.

Send us your simchas!


We welcome simcha announcements for births and b'nai mitzvah. Announcements are subject to editing. There is a $10 charge for photos. Photos must be
separate jpg files and high res. If a photograph is to be returned, include a SASE.
Send to pr@jewishmediagroup.com or mail to NJ Jewish Media Group,
ATT: Simchas, 1086 Teaneck Road, Teaneck, NJ 07666

facebook.com/jewishstandard

Information, call (201) 837-8818.

ABOUT OUR CHILDREN FEBRUARY 2017 19

first [ bond ]

You and your babys needs come first at The Valley Hospital. Moms with high-risk pregnancies are no exception.
The doctors at our Maternal-Fetal Medicine Center use highly advanced technology for you and your baby. And, when
your little one enters the world, doctors in our Neonatal Intensive Care Unit focus on your infant. We also make sure
you are part of your babys care plan. Because sometimes, the best care is the comfort of mom. Whether you need
specialized care or not, the needs of you and your baby are our first priority.

To experience The Center for Childbirth at The Valley Hospital,


visit ExperienceValleyChildbirth.com.
Follow us at ValleyHealth.com/SocialMedia.

Jewish World

At dawn of Trump era,


two Jewish tribes
descend on Washington
RON KAMPEAS
WASHINGTON Cantor Kaufman! Rabbi
Jonah Pesner shouted across the intersection of Third and D in Washingtons Northwest quadrant, packed sidewalk to sidewalk with women in pink pussycat hats
and their male friends. A song!
Jason Kaufman, the cantor at Beth El in
Alexandria, Virginia, draped in a rainbow
tallit and in the middle of telling a joke,
cocked an eyebrow and pivoted gracefully
from the guy hanging with his buddies at
Saturdays Womens March on Washington
to the religious leader ready to, well, lead.
Kaufmans rich tenor soared above the
foggy chill and soon found company. The
song was a natural for hundreds of Reform
Jews waiting at the junction to join with
hundreds more organized by the National
Council of Jewish Women and other liberal
Jewish groups.
Hinei ma tov umanaim, they sang,
quoting from Psalm 133. Behold, how

good and how pleasant it is for brothers to


dwell together in unity.
The Reform marchers, organized by
the movements Religious Action Center,
which Pesner leads, ultimately never met
up with the NCJW marchers. Washingtons streets and the National Mall were
crammed to the point of claustrophobia
the day after the inauguration of Donald
Trump as the nations 45th president. The
sternest shouted entreaties by group leaders could not keep the Jewish marchers
from disappearing into the sea of humanity, marked by the pink hats that were the
marchers badge of honor.
Still, at around the same time, Nancy
Kaufman, the NCJW CEO said, the marchers
she was leading from the historic synagogue
at Sixth and I broke into the same song.
It was not the first time that King Davids
words soared over the nations capital.
Psalm 133 also made an appearance on
Friday, in Trumps first speech delivered
as president.

Josh Weinberg, the president of ARZA, the Association of Reform Zionists of


America, and his daughters at the Womens March.
RON KAMPEAS

When you open your heart to patriotism, there is no room for prejudice,
Trump said. The Bible tells us, How good
and pleasant it is when Gods people live
together in unity. We must speak our minds
openly, debate our disagreements honestly,

but always pursue solidarity. When America


is united, America is totally unstoppable.
Rather than unity, the twin uses of
Psalm 133 on Friday and Saturday signaled
a nation deeply divided, and within it two
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Jewish World
To the smaller tribe, solidly Republican and disproportionately Orthodox, the inauguration weekend was a time to celebrate Trump for bringing Israel closer to the U.S. bosom.
For the other, larger one, which votes reliably Democratic
and tends to support a progressive domestic agenda, it was a
time to stand as one against what it sees as Trumps crusade
to cleave Americans from one another.
Those glad of the Trump ascendancy say it will be a relief
from a U.S.-Israel relationship still stinging from the toxicity
between former President Barack Obama and Israeli Prime

Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.


Their ranks include Sheldon and Dr. Miriam Adelson,
the billionaire casino magnate and his wife, whose spending on pro-Israel causes is outmatched only by their spending to keep Democrats from power. On Friday, they were
seen grinning on the inaugural dais a rare, if not unprecedented place of honor for donors. Trump said later that
their combined giving to his campaign and to the inauguration reached $125 million.
Perhaps a half a football field across from them, six or so

Jewish Trump supporters from Los Angeles huddled


on the mall in layers a little too thick for the mild midAtlantic chill. They were close to tears as Rabbi Marvin
Hier took the stage to deliver the benediction one
that cited another psalm, 137, If I forget you O Jerusalem, may my right hand forget its skill.
Thats my rabbi! one yelled out.
After the speeches were over, the groups members enthused about why they had made the journey
cross-country.
We had a chill as Hier spoke, Chaya Illulian, 22,
said. God wants us to stand for the truth!
Were excited for the change, chimed in Chaya
Israely, also 22.
To see Rabbi Hier up there, it means were equal,
said Adam King, 33.
The evening before, clumps of middle-aged outof-towners with red Make America Great Again hats
covering their kippahs clustered around tables at the
Char Bar kosher steakhouse. The most common topic
of conversation: Would Trumps Orthodox Jewish
daughter, Ivanka, and her husband, Jared Kushner, set
to assume a role as a top adviser, make it out of their
parade limos the next day in time for Shabbat? (They
did: The limos pulled up to the White House at 4:35
p.m. Shabbat came in a few minutes after 5.)
Earlier on Thursday, a select group of Jewish Trump
supporters attended the exclusive Republican Jewish
Coalition reception, which featured Senator Ted Cruz
of Texas, Representative Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.),
the House majority leader, and Tom Rose, the conservative Jewish talk show radio maven who is close
to Vice President Mike Pence.
On Friday night, they gathered on the lower floors
of the Marriott Marquis at The Inaugural Shabbat,
sponsored by the Israel Forever Foundation. The hotel
is connected to the Washington Convention Center
where, as the Shabbat dinner got under way, Trump
took his first dance with his wife, Melania, mouthing
the words to Frank Sinatras My Way.
Or they were at the American Friends of Lubavitch
headquarters near Dupont Circle, where Friday night
services were packed with visitors. Rabbi Levi Shemtovs sons squeezed between worshippers with trays
bulging with tiny plastic cups of sweet kiddush wine.
The sense of a homecoming, of relaxed and happy
banter, was natural, said Matt Brooks, director of the
Republican Jewish Coalition.
At the end of the day, I think theres a huge sense
of relief, he said. This last eight years we have seen
a significant weakening of the U.S.-Israel alliance.
Things are going to be very different from the Obama
administration. Were looking forward to a different
tone and a relationship.
And Trumps quotation of Psalm 133? A natural,
Brooks said.
His presidency is going to be about the people, its
going to be about holding government accountable,
rebuilding infrastructure, restrengthening alliances,
taking care of the middle class, he said. Judaism is
predicated on making sure we take care of all people,
and we look out for people who are less fortunate.
If Trump indeed was intent on caring for the less
fortunate, the message didnt reach the thousands of
Jews who joined an estimated half-million protesters
in Washington the next day not to mentions the millions of marchers in other American cities and around
the world. (An estimated 400,000 of them were in
midtown Manhattan, where they walked up Fifth
Avenue until they were stopped a bit south of Trump
Tower, where the new president lives.
SEE WASHINGTON PAGE 34

32 JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017

JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017 33

Jewish World
Washington
FROM PAGE 32

Josh Weinberg, the president of ARZA,


the Association of Reform Zionists of
America, had read Trumps speech but
did not notice the presidents Psalm 133
citation.
OK, its a nice line, said Weinberg, who
gently guided one daughter in a stroller
through the crowd, carried another on his
back and had a third clutching his hand.
But forgive my cynicism.
Jewish marchers who had picked
through Trumps speech said they discovered intimations of exclusion: a rejection
of prejudice that was conditioned on opening your heart to patriotism, a dystopian
vision of American carnage, of inner cities in flame and children lost to broken
schools.
Most striking for these marchers was
Trumps rallying cry. From this moment
on, its going to be America first, America
first, Trump said, an echo of the isolationist and anti-Semitic movement Americans
rejected as they entered World War II.
Ive been disappointed before, said
Leslie Shapiro, a retired paralegal from
Gaithersburg, Maryland, recalling past
elections. Ive never been afraid.

34 JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017

From left, Adam King, Chaya Israely, and Chaya Illulian at the inauguration of
President Donald Trump.
RON KAMPEAS

Rabbi Shira Stutman suggested that


Trump had hijacked Psalm 133.
Unity without watching out for one
another is not us, she told a packed Friday evening service for marchers at Sixth
and I. Some of us grew up in this country

feeling safe, and the safety is slipping from


between our fingers.
The safety, according to Jewish marchers, was predicated on extending protections to all those who are vulnerable: The
women, first of all, who marched because

of Trumps long history of misogynist


statements, his recorded boast in 2006
of sexual assault (one he now insists was
empty), and his pledge to roll back abortion rights as president. But also protections for the minorities he named as a
threat during the campaign, Mexicans and
Muslims.
Resistance is awakened at the intersection of love and holy outrage, Rabbi Sharon Brous, the leader of Los Angeles IKAR
congregation, told the hundreds of thousands of protesters.
Our children will one day ask us,
Where were you when our country was
thrust into a lions den of demagoguery
and division? And we will say, I stood
with love, I stood with hope, I stood with
sisters and brothers of all religions and all
races and all genders and sexualities, she
said.
I ask you now to take the hand of
someone to your right, take the hand of
someone to your left, raise your hands
high, Brous urged, as hundreds of thousands heeded her. On the stage, one of the
marchs organizers, Linda Sarsour, a Palestinian-American Muslim, strode forward,
grasped the rabbis hand, and raised it.
It was the unity the marchers sought.

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Jewish World

What now?
Many causes, long road for Jewish groups in Womens March
the march. Were building on growing competency we
have. What were trying to do is build these movements of
justice that will live on after these peak moments.
With the march acting as a clearinghouse for liberal activists of many stripes, covering everything from reproductive
rights to environmentalist activism, its momentum could
spread thin over a variety of campaigns. Jewish organizations, hoping to capitalize on the rallys energy, mentioned
fighting the repeal of the Affordable Care Act, protecting
voter rights, advocating for immigrants, opposing gun violence, pushing for paid family leave, and other progressive
causes.
But Rabbi Jill Jacobs, executive director of Truah, a rabbis human rights group, said that working on a range of
issues isnt a problem because so many people came to the
protest.
All the people mobilized for the Womens March, theyre
not all going to be focused on one issue, she said. Theyre
not all going to be working on health care, theyre not all
going to be working on immigration. But if theres a big
chunk of people that are going to be working on health care,
on immigration, thats going to be huge.
Some organizations, while pursuing several disparate
goals, are concentrating their energies on the local scene
rather than the national government. Jews United for Justice, a social justice advocacy group in Washington, D.C.,
will be centered on ensuring funding in the districts budget for paid family leave, as well as building a network of
synagogues willing to offer sanctuary to undocumented
immigrants.
We know one of the most productive things we can
do is advocacy around the D.C. budget, said Rabbi Elizabeth Richman, deputy director of Jews United for Justice. It centers on the people who are going to be most

BEN SALES

ne Jewish group that joined the Womens March


on Washington has seen its online donations
double since the election of Donald Trump as
president. Another has drawn twice as many
guests as usual to its annual conference. A third has seen its
social media engagement skyrocket.
And after bringing thousands of Jews to the streets on Saturday, the groups are all asking the same question. What
now?
A range of liberal Jewish groups took part in the Womens
March, which drew more than 3 million people to streets
across the country to protest Trumps policies and to advocate for womens rights and civil rights. And like the organizers of the march, Jewish groups that shared its agenda face
the challenge of making sure that the demonstration isnt a
one-off venting of frustration, but instead becomes a catalyst for sustained political activism.
Theres so many things to fight for and there are so many
things to fight against right now, said Lori Weinstein, CEO
of Jewish Womens International, part of a coalition of Jewish groups that took part in the protest. The Womens
March was a place for everyone to gather. It was a place for
everyone to be lifted up and catapulted forward.
Groups like Weinsteins have spent decades advocating
for causes like health care or immigrant rights. They see the
march not as a starting point but as a validation of the goals
they have pursued for so long. For them, the question isnt
what to do. Its how to get people to keep supporting what
they are doing already.
This isnt new, said Rabbi Jonah Pesner, director of the
Religious Action Center, the Reform movements legislative
advocacy arm, which hosted a day of programming around

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From left to right: Nancy Kaufman, CEO of


the National Council of Jewish Women; Rabbi
Tamara Cohen, chief of innovation at Moving
Traditions, and Debbie Hoffmann, NCJWs board
president, at the National Mall for the Womens
March on Washington. 
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vulnerable under the Trump administration lowincome employees and people of color.
Jewish organizations have seen gains since Trumps
election. Jewish Womens Internationals online donations have doubled, and an April conference hosted
by the Religious Action Center, which drew a crowd
of 400 last year, is on track to register at least 700 this
year. But in a political environment where major policies are announced via Twitter, its unclear whether
the Womens March or its Jewish contingent will be
able to claim peoples attention and energy in the
weeks and months to come.
Theres something about the public quality of the
social media we use to coordinate protests that does
a really good job getting people out into the street
and feeling united on a mass level, said Gal Beckerman, author of When They Come for Us, Well Be
Gone, a book on the movement to free Soviet Jewry.
But it does a poor job helping people figure out the
kind of organizing, building unified ideologies, sets of
demands all these things that movements need to
move to the next level in terms of effectiveness.
Beckerman said that staying focused might be especially tough for the Jewish community, which was
divided over Trump. While most Jews voted for the
Democratic candidate, Hillary Clinton, a few Jewish
organizations, representing a vocal but now ascendant
minority of American Jewry, have thrown their support behind the newly inaugurated president.
Theres a lot of division right now in the American
Jewish world over Trump, Beckerman said. What
was different in the Soviet Jewry movement, what
made that movement so effective, is that it did bring
together all the different sides of the Jewish community particularly the side that thinks in terms of universal rights and the side thats more particularist.
For Nancy Kaufman, CEO of the National Council
of Jewish Women, which fought for voting rights in
the 1910s and civil rights in the 1960s, the march was
one more protest in a long line of activism. To make it
effective, she said, the participants must understand
that no one demonstration will create change, no matter how many people it mobilized.
The most important thing is to understand that
despair is not a strategy, and we cant stop, Kaufman
said. The most important thing is we coordinate, collaborate, not spin our wheels and figure out where we
can have some wins because its going to be a tough
road.


36 JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017

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hen Kathy Mioni took over as the principal of Akiva Academy in the postindustrial city of Youngstown, Ohio,
the school had 52 students and was in
danger of closing within a year.
Seven years later, the Jewish community day schools
enrollment has grown by an even 100 and expanded by
two grades, in addition to a new preschool and infant
care. And Mioni is quick to say why: Two-thirds of the
students, most of them not Jewish, have nearly all their
tuition paid for by Ohios state government.
School choice has kept Akiva open, Mioni said. Its
exploding, actually. We dont do a lot of advertising. Its
word of mouth. The school choice has breathed new life
and functioning into Akiva.
School choice, the philosophy that government
should aid parents in choosing the best school for
their children, whether it is public or private, may be
greatly expanded should Betsy DeVos, President Donald Trumps pick for education secretary, be confirmed.
DeVos is the former chair of the American Federation
for Children, a leading advocate for school choice, and
endorsed it at the opening of her Senate confirmation
hearing last week.
Parents no longer believe that a one-size-fits-all
model of learning meets the needs of every child, and
they know other options exist, DeVos said. Why in
2017 are we still questioning parents ability to exercise
educational choices for their children?
Public education advocates have protested school
choice, but Mioni and other Jewish school administrators in Ohio are among its supporters. Home to a
dozen Jewish day schools, the Midwest state has one
of the most robust private school voucher programs in
the country. More than a quarter of the approximately
3,000 students attending Jewish day schools receive a
state voucher.
Under the voucher program, elementary school
students receive $4,650 each in annual private school
tuition aid, and high school students receive $6,000,
from the state government. Some eligible students
qualify for vouchers because their local public school
is deemed to be underperforming, while others qualify
under a low-income provision. Students with autism and
special needs also may receive the vouchers. And the
city of Cleveland has its own voucher program, though
relatively few Jews live within its limits.
All the things the broader Jewish community cares
about theres a recognition that Jewish education is
a huge part of that, said Rabbi Eric Frank, the Ohio
director of Agudath Israel of America, a charedi Orthodox group that supports school choice. Recognizing
that cost will prohibit people from attending a Jewish
day school leads to more support for policies that will
enable them to.
The voucher doesnt fully cover tuition in some of the
states Jewish schools. At Ohios largest, the 1,000-student Orthodox Hebrew Academy of Cleveland, it covers

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Betsy DeVos testifies at her Senate confirmation


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CHIP SOMODEVILLA/GETTY IMAGES

less than 40 percent of high-school tuition, which can


run $12,500 a year.
Akiva Academy, by contrast, has managed to keep
down costs low enough that the voucher covers nearly
all annual fees. That has made the school a draw primarily for non-Jewish students, whom Mioni says appreciate
its safe environment and high standardized test scores.
Of Akivas 152 students, only 18 are Jewish, though all
students attend daily prayers and receive 90 minutes of
Hebrew and Jewish studies instruction every day.
We always have to prove to the Jewish community
and the federation that were more Jewish than we
were the year before, Mioni said. A lot of the non-Jewish children want to buy a chanukiyah. They sing the
Hebrew prayers before they eat.
Ohios school choice program has its critics, of course.
A 2016 study from Ohio State University found that in
most cases, the program has negligible academic effects,
while raising questions about private schools transparency and accountability. And some legacy Jewish
organizations long have been wary of any government
encroachment on Jewish education, and of tax dollars
going to parochial schools. Not only does such funding
violate the separation of church and state, they say, but
it drains money from the public system.
But with only about 40,000 students out of nearly 1.7
million receiving vouchers statewide, advocates say the
programs effect on public education is minimal.
The Ohio Jewish community strongly supports quality
public schools, said Howie Beigelman, executive director
of Ohio Jewish Communities, the states Jewish federation
network. I dont see any evidence that this has taken away
from anywhere, that it has been bad for public schools.
Frank and Beigelman both say that the voucher program has been key to a growing Jewish community in
the Cleveland area. The community witnessed a rise of
5,000 people between 1996 and 2011, as compared to
a reduction in the overall metropolitan area of about
50,000 between 2000 and 2010.
They have enabled younger people wanting to stay
because they have enabled them to afford Jewish day
school, Frank said. You have a community that is growing and wants to stay near its shuls and schools. You have
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JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017 37

Jewish World

Tehran Holocaust refugees generating


new interest amid global migrant crisis
CNAAN LIPHSHIZ
SAMARKAND, UZBEKISTAN After
starving for months in Siberia, 5-year-old
Natan Rom thought he was in paradise
when he arrived in this colorful trading
hub in Central Asia.
It was 1940, and Rom, along with his
parents and older sister Ziva, was one of
countless Jewish refugees who arrived in
Samarkand after fleeing the Nazis eastward from their native Poland.
I remember the heat, the wonderful
warmth after the cold in Siberia and the
heaps of food in market stalls: nuts, berries, apricots, Rom, now 88, said.
The joy would be short-lived.
In a city awash with refugees, Rom and
hundreds of other Jewish children were
met with indifference and hostility, forced
to beg and steal in a city oblivious to their
plight. Rom would lose his father to starvation in Uzbekistan before the British finally
allowed him and Ziva to enter Tehran in
1942, en route to prestate Israel.
The siblings were among the approximately 800 Tehran Children, a group who
reached prestate Israel following a tormented journey through the Soviet Union,
India, Egypt and Iran.
Their largely forgotten trials are now
drawing renewed interest from Jewish
groups, historians and filmmakers who
recognize the significance of their story
in a world again struggling with the moral
dilemma of war refugees.
They have been the subject of two documentaries, one of which featured Ziva Rom
bitterly recalling how the children posed
as models for Samarkand art students who
wanted to sketch starving children. Last
year, the educational group Limmud FSU

organized an event in the Russian city of


Kazan that highlighted the childrens stories. And in September, a 2007 film about
the children had its first screening outside
Israel at an event in Moscow also organized by Limmud FSU.
Not since the Holocaust has the twofold
lesson of the Tehran Children been more
relevant than today, said Chaim Chesler,
Limmud FSUs founder and a former Jewish Agency treasurer.
We can rely only on ourselves, especially in catastrophes of massive scale,
Chesler said. But on the other hand, their
harrowing journey also underlines the crucial duty of remaining open and sensitive
to the plight of refugees.
The Rom children learned early the consequences of dependency. Their parents,
Ethel and Karol, had another son, 2-yearold Uzi, and not enough food to sustain
three children. So they gave the two older
siblings to a local orphanage.
Giving up his own food for his wife and
youngest son, Karol wasted away until he
became terminally ill. Hours before Zionist activists evacuated the Tehran Children
to Iran, his two older children came to bid
their father a last goodbye. Rom remembers seeing his father for the last time, an
emaciated man feebly leaning against the
doorframe of the squalid hut where he
lived with his wife and infant son.
Rom and his sister, who eventually were
reunited with their mother and youngest
sibling in Palestine, recently found their
fathers grave at Samarkands Jewish cemetery. They made a Hebrew-language
headstone for him that says he starved to
death as a refugee.
Other members of the Tehran Children never found their parents graves.

Ephraim Lapid hugs the children of Yanush Ben Gal in Kazan on Sept. 4, 2016.

LIMMUD FSU
38 JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017

Hadassah founder Henrietta Szold meets with Tehran Children in Israel in


February 1943. 
JEWISH AGENCY FOR ISRAEL

Avraham Raz, who died in 2014, said in the


2007 documentary, The Children of Tehran, that he felt relief on the day he helped
bury his father in an unmarked grave after
he died of typhus in Samarkand.
Its unpleasant to admit, but it meant
more food for my mother and me, Raz
said. Neither of us cried.
As more and more Jewish parents in
Uzbekistan became unable to feed their
children, 1,000 kids were put up for adoption, mainly to convents and orphanages.
Some, including Yanush Ben Gal, were
allowed to stay in the army camps of Polish soldiers fighting alongside the Allies.
Uncared for, they would fight among
themselves for the mattresses and food
dumped in a trough by the soldiers.
Ben Gal, an Israel Defense Forces general and war hero who died last year,
remembered as a 5-year-old pouring lime
on the latrines as part of his duties.
By the time I reached boot camp in the
IDF I was already an expert at this, Gal
said in the film.
Some Tehran Children say they see their
younger selves in the hundreds of thousands of immigrants who have made it to
Europe from the Middle East since 2014.
Ziva Rom said she was reminded of her
own ordeal when she saw Lebanese civilians streaming out of their homes amid
Israeli bombardments against Hezbollah
in 2006.
But others object to any analogy
between Arab immigration into Europe
and their own trials.
The Muslim migrants arriving to
Europe are for the most part not refugees
but job seekers who belong to what is de
facto an invasion, Natan said in September, after the Russian screening of the film.
Attempts to pass off the new arrivals
as refugees and then to liken their experiences to what Holocaust survivors had to
endure is false, he added.

By 1942, when news about the Tehran


Children reached Zionist authorities, their
reaction was to send agents to retrieve
the children. Meanwhile, international
pressure was mounting on the British to
make a humanitarian exception to their
embargo on Jewish immigration to prestate Israel.
Some orphans staying with Christians
would recite Yiddish nursery rhymes while
pretending to pray for Jesus. Raz recalled
that some even said Jewish prayers in
secret to remember who we were.
But 200 of the Polish Jewish children
who fled to Uzbekistan were never found.
It is assumed that those who survived were
raised as Christians or Muslims.
In Israel, the Tehran Children were eligible for restitution from Germany. But
without parents and unaware of their
rights, many of them never made claims.
In a 2014 class action suit against the Israeli
government, 217 of them obtained a symbolic compensation of approximately
$6,000 per person a fraction of what
they estimate they could have claimed
had they been made aware of their rights
in time.
Still, an outsized proportion of the Tehran Children took on public roles in their
young country.
Ben Gal, who headed the IDF Northern
Command, served with Haim Erez, a fellow member of the Tehran Children who
controlled the Southern Command. Rom
and his sister were among the founders of
kibbutzim. And Raz was a senior inspector
in the Education Ministry.
I think the journey snuffed their childhoods and scarred them for life, said Dalia
Gutman, the maker of the 2007 documentary, who interviewed dozens of Tehran
Children. But it also steeled them and
gave them fortitude matched by few other
groups in Israels history.


JTA WIRE SERVICE

Jewish World
BRIEFS

Togo invites Netanyahu


to new African summit
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was invited
to attend a major African summit that will include the
heads of 25 to 30 African nations.
Netanyahu was formally invited to the summit, to be
held later this year in Togo, during a meeting Monday
with Togos Foreign Minister Robert Dussey.
There is a China-Africa conference, a France-Africa
conference, and Togo thinks we need an Africa-Israel
meeting between the heads of state, Dussey told the
Jerusalem Post.
Dussey said that several African countries including Kenya, Rwanda, and Uganda have expressed
strong support for the conference.
We are 54 countries in Africa, and we will invite 54
countries, he said We are expecting between 25 to
30 heads of states, not only from West Africa, but from
all over Africa.
Conference organizers said the summit, which will
be held in Togos capital of Lome from October 16 to
20, will focus on security, counterterrorism, economic ties and cooperation in the fields of agriculture,
health and education as well as new technology,
according to the Jerusalem Post.


global shipment.
At the same time, Katz called for the establishment of
a greater Jerusalem that would expand the capitals
borders to include sovereignty over neighboring Jewish settlements.
This plan strengthens Israels position and improves the
situation in the region and does not preclude the possibility
of negotiations or arrangements in the future, Katz said.


JNS.ORG

JNS.ORG

Israeli minister warns


European Parliament
against BDS actions
Israeli Social Equality Minister Gila Gamliel denounced
the international Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions
movement at a pro-Israel conference hosted by the
European Parliament in Brussels.
All European countries must send a clear message
against boycott organizations, as they did in Britain
and Germany, she said. The BDS movement, which
has in recent years encouraged diplomatic terrorism
against the state of Israel by spreading lies on campuses and at anti-Semitic events around the world, is
not interested in finding a solution to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, but rather works to isolate Israel from
the rest of the world and undermines its right to exist
as a democratic and Jewish state.
Jewish community leaders from across Europe and
European Parliament members participated in the
conference, titled Israel: Include. Invest. Involve.
The gathering was organized by the Europe Israel Public Affairs lobby.
The European Parliament hosted a conference in
support of the BDS movement on the same day as the
pro-Israel event.


electrical plant.
According to the Jerusalem Post, Katzs plans are among
a growing number of ideas for addressing the Palestinian
issue that have emerged from ministers and Knesset members in recent weeks coinciding with the change of government in Washington.
Katz also proposed linking Israels rail lines with Jordan
to allow Arab governments to the east, including the Palestinian Authority, to transport their goods to Haifa for

JNS.ORG

Palestinians offered
an artificial port
off the Gaza Strip
Israeli Transportation Minister Yisrael Katz presented ambitious plans to the countrys security
cabinet, including a proposal to be build an artificial
island off the coast of the Gaza Strip to serve as a port
for Palestinians.
Katzs proposal calls for building an artificial island
linked by a bridge to Gaza to give the Palestinians an
outlet to the world without endangering Israeli security. The island also would include a desalination and

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JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017 39

Jewish World

8 unexpected Birthright trips,


from yoga to Instagrammed food
GABE FRIEDMAN

irthright trips the 10-day Israel tours offered


free to young Jews are so much part of mainstream culture that they have been copied by
other religions, parodied on television shows
like Broad City and Transparent, and debated by
academics and activists.
But if your idea of Birthright is outdoor hikes, camel
rides, visits to the Western Wall, and flirty bus trips up
and down the spine of Israel, think again. The third-party
vendors that work with the Taglit-Birthright Israel foundation offer an array of unexpected options including
trips for yogis, journalists, medical students, and more.
The latest niche offering, announced last week, is a
trip for vegans run by Mayanot Israel and Jewish Veg,
a nonprofit that promotes plant-based diets. Participants will visit Israeli farms, eat at vegan restaurants,
and meet with some of the countrys leading vegan
diet proponents.
So many young Jews who are vegan or vegetarian
have become distanced from Judaism because their
needs have not been met by our communal institutions,
Jeffrey Cohan, the executive director of Jewish Veg, said.
This is a phenomenal way of re-engaging them.

Here are seven other niche trips that put an unusual


spin on the Birthright experience.

For frat bros


and sorority sisters

For journalists

This trip is for all the Jewish Greeks out there no, not
Jews who trace their family history back to Athens, but
Jews in a college fraternity or sorority. Expect all of the
usual Birthright itinerary stops, but likely with more sharing of campus party stories.

(Mayanot Israel)

Long before Trump clashed with journalists at his latest news conference, the question of a free press was
a hot topic in Israel. Participants on the Newsroom to
Newsroom trip get a behind-the-scenes look at some of
Israels most prominent media organizations. On earlier trips, participants have met with Jerusalem Post
writer Khaled Abu Toameh, author Yossi Klein Halevi,
and Times of Israel founder David Horovitz.

For yoga junkies

(Hillel: The Foundation for


Jewish Campus Life)
Birthright is known for being an action-packed blur of
activity. But for those looking to take a step back, take
some deep breaths, and strike a few relaxing poses,
there is always the Yoga and Mindfulness trip. Last
winters trip included a combined Iyengar yoga and
Torah lesson, a meditation session in the Amuka forest
near the city of Safed, a yoga session at the Safed Citadel, and a Shabbat service that included meditation.

(Tlalim-Israel Outdoors)

For Latin
America aficionados

(Tlalim-Israel Outdoors and IsraelExperts)


Looking to meet some new friends from south of the
equator? The USA-Argentina Joint Journey includes
Argentine and North American participants, and the
Across the Universe trip is made up of 20 Brazilians and
20 North Americans (and eight Israelis). In addition to
Hebrew, you might pick up some Spanish or Portuguese.

For medical students


(Tlalim-Israel Outdoors)

Yes, medical school is a grind. But fear not, science nerds


med students and practitioners who want to bond with
their fellow overworked peers there is a Birthright trip
just for you. In addition to the usual Israel sightseeing fare,

400,000
Facebook
Likes!

(Actually 404,919, but whos counting?)

40 JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017

Jewish World

participants get to meet with doctors at the prestigious Hadassah hospital, visit medics and soldiers working in the Israeli
armys Medical Corps, and receive training through Magen
David Adom, Israels version of the Red Cross.

For Kabbalah dabblers


(Israel Free Spirit)

This might be the only Birthright trip that brings you


at least one degree of separation closer to Madonna or
Gwyneth Paltrow. The Soul Trek promises to teach participants about the ancient Jewish practice of Kabbalah
through mystical hikes, life-changing insights, and a
meeting with a kabbalistic artist.

For food Instagrammers

(Shorashim: Israel with Israelis)


As Instagram continues its takeover of the online world,
a trip focused on food photography now barely can be
considered niche. The A Taste of Israel Through the
Lens trip encourages its participants to take photos of
Israeli and Middle Eastern food and share them on social
media. Participants will experience more food markets,
tours and tastings than those on typical Birthright journeys, and receive guidance on how to frame photos
especially well for social media posts. JTA WIRE SERVICE

Birthright travelers can pick a trip focused on yoga. 

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We have more Facebook Likes than any other
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Thanks to our loyal followers and to our new friends.
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JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017 41

Editorial
Thank you, Deb

Its not politics, its Torah

ur cover story is about Deborah Roberts, who teaches


acting to young children and
heads the drama department
at the Kaplen JCC on the Palisades in Tenafly.
Its a story about an extraordinary woman,
written in the third person, as if the writer
that would be me is an omniscient, impersonal narrator.
But I know that Deb is extraordinary from
my own experience, and extraordinary in a
way that other people can emulate.
In 1986, when my daughter Shira was 6,
she took Debs class, Stage Right. That was
the year that the space shuttle Challenger
blew up. In fact, the class met that day.
Stage Right taught small children to be
comfortable on stage, with people watching
them. It taught self-confidence, and it led,
even in people so young, to a fair amount of
physical presence.
That day, though, Deb did not focus on
acting, or self-possession, or presence.
Instead, she found paper and crayons,
and asked the children to draw what they
felt. Shira came home with the picture of a
rocket and a face. The face was crying perfectly pearl-shaped tears that trailed all the
way down the page. That crayoned page was
the essence of sadness, as filtered through
a 6-year-olds limited understanding of that
emotion.
It was powerful. It has stayed with me
always.
Remember, Deb didnt teach drawing,
she had a limited amount of time with the
kids, and she didnt have to talk about the
Challenger. All the children had done that
in school. She could have assumed that the
episode was over. But it wasnt, as Shiras
drawing told me and the picture confirmed.
It was the picture, not the earlier discussions
in school, that allowed her to talk about it at
home, and to gain some closure on it.
Yes, this is a small incident, decades old,
but it shows the sensitivity that Deb has
and that the JCC allows her to express.
We have many memories of Debs classes
since then. There was Oklahoma, when
Shira played Aunt Eller, her hair convincingly grayed, her eccentricies free to express
themselves. In fact, all the parts she got
allowed her eccentricities free range.

ast Shabbat, I upset some peo- kashrut takes precedence when life is
ple when I attacked both Presi- threatened.
dent Donald Trumps executive
This is derived from Leviticus 18:5, as
order essentially eviscerating
I noted in my final column of 2016: You
the Affordable Care Act, and his plans to
shall keep My laws and My rules, by the
move the U.S. embassy to Jerusalem.
pursuit of which man shall live. Said
I was talking politics, they said, and I
the Talmud, shall live by them, not die
have no business doing so from the pulpit. by them. (See BT Yoma 85b, BT Sanhedrin 74a, and BT Avodah Zarah 27b, or the
As I have written several times in the
Mishnah in BT Makkot 23b for discussions
past, however, I do not talk politics from
of and exceptions to the meaning of the
the pulpit, and no rabbi should. They and
verse.)
I should talk Torah. I was talking Torah.
This is a very Jewish, very Torah, conThe Affordable Care Act needs fixing, if
not a complete overhaul. But no respon- cern. It is not politics.
sible Republican leader in the House or
The same is true about my comments
Senate is prepared to do harm to the ACA
regarding the embassy.
until a fix or a replacement
Jerusalem was, is, and forever will be the capital of the
is in place. The health care
Jewish people, and so it must
of 20 million people, especially those with pre-existbe the capital of the Jewish
ing conditions, is at risk
state. I believe this with every
otherwise. Trump, howfiber of my being.
ever, issued an executive
The embassy should be
order in essence ordering
moved, but it must be done
the federal government to
with great care, not as a
stand down when it comes
ploy to garner votes. Congress understood that in
to enforcing the acts provi- Rabbi
Shammai
sions, notwithstanding the
1995, when it overwhelmEngelmayer
ingly passed the Jerusalem
risk. Insurance companies
Embassy Act. It required the
now may feel free to deny
State Department to move the embassy to
coverage to people with pre-existing
conditions because the federal govern- Jerusalem by May 1, 1999, or have its budment will not impose penalties.
get cut in half.
Torah law, at its very core, requires us
However, because Congress was fishing
to care for everyones health and welfare. for votes but feared the consequences, it
For example, Leviticus 19:16 states, Do
added an escape clause. The president,
not stand idly upon the blood of your fel- the law stated, may suspend its implelow, whoever that fellow is, or whether
mentation every six months if he determines and reports to Congress in advance
we even know the person.
Our help cannot be half-hearted. It can- that such suspension is necessary to pronot be idle. We must provide the most
tect the national security interests of the
effective help possible.
United States.
There also is the law of pikuach nefesh,
That escape clause, used by every president from then on, was put there because
endangering a life. When you deny health
Congress understood that moving the
coverage to someone at risk, you are
embassy to Jerusalem, absent a compreendangering a life.
Pikuach nefesh is considered pre-emi- hensive peace deal with the Palestinians,
nent in religious Judaism. Almost noth- very likely would cause a murderous new
ing not even Shabbat, or the laws of
round of Palestinian terror attacks, resulting in the loss of much Jewish blood (and
Shammai Engelmayer is the rabbi of
Arab blood, as well).
Congregation Beth Israel of the Palisades in
Pikuach nefesh plays a role here, as
Cliffside Park.
well, obviously. So does another halachic

Jewish
Standard
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Teaneck, NJ 07666
(201) 837-8818
Fax 201-833-4959
Publisher
James L. Janoff
Associate Publisher Emerita
Marcia Garfinkle

Years later, in 2003, my daughter Miriam


used the arrow-straight self-possesson
that she gained from Debs class when Deb
asked her to be one of the teenagers speaking at the opening ceremonies of the Maccabiah Games in the Continental Airlines
Arena. It was a huge audience; Miriam
said her sangfroid came from what shed
learned at the JCC.
We are so happy for the next generation
of kids who will continue to learn grace and
stagecraft from Deborah Roberts.

America First
It is horrifying that our new president, Donald J. Trump, used the term America First
in his inaugural speech. No matter what you
think of Mr. Trump, it is impossible to see
how his use of that terrible phrase, with
its connotations of anti-Semitism, possibly
could be excusable. (In 1940, after Kristallnacht, the America First group worked to
keep America out of the war.)
We have a geographic connection to the
phrase. It was used by Charles Lindbergh,
the heroic aviator and moral midget whose
just-pre-Holocaust anti-Semitism is legendary, and whose wife, Anne Morrow, grew
up in Englewood. (The Elisabeth Morrow
School is her old family estate.)
Its a bad phrase, with anti-Semitic undertones that should set off our alarms, and Mr.
Trump either did or at the very least should
have known that. We must pay attention,
and please, Mr. Trump, dont say that again.

Goodbye, Phyllis Hertzberg


We mourn the death of Phyllis Hertzberg.
Her husband, Rabbi Arthur Hertzberg, zl,
strengthened the community with the
depth of his knowledge and the breadth of
his insight; Ms. Hertzberg supported him,
encouraged him, and gave him the love he
needed. Together, they built a family whose
Jewish values love of learning, love of
Israel, intellectual fearlessness, engagement
with the outside world, capacity for outrage,
and overwhelmingly love of each other
served as a model.
We offer our condolences to their
daughters, Linda and Susan, and their
families. We were enriched by our connection to your parents.
JP

Editor
Joanne Palmer
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Larry Yudelson
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Beth Janoff Chananie
About Our Children Editor
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42 JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017

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Rebecca Kaplan Boroson

Opinion

Thoughts on love and marriage


principle, shfichut damim (the needless spilling of
blood). Shfichut damim is why King David was denied
the honor of building Gods House. His hands were too
sullied with blood.
Not only is it not permissible to put lives in danger if that can be avoided, it also is not permissible to
set up a situation in which blood likely will be spilled,
again if that can be avoided. Moving the embassy without a comprehensive peace deal would violate both
principles.
True, terrorists do not need excuses to commit their
atrocious acts. Such acts of terror are on their heads,
however. On the other hand, taking actions that almost
certainly would lead to more acts of terror puts the
onus on both the terrorists and on those whose actions
provided the excuse.

a
-

t
,
-

,
w
-

The embassy should


be moved, but it must
be done with great
care, not as a ploy to
garner votes. Congress
understood that in 1995,
when it overwhelmingly
passed the Jerusalem
Embassy Act.
To repeat, I agree rabbis should not discuss politics
from the pulpit, or anywhere else, when they are in
their personae as congregational rabbis.
We do need to talk about and to teach Judaism,
however. If it sounds as though we are talking politics,
it is because many of the people hearing us have a mistaken, even distorted, notion about Judaism, thinking
that it is just about ritual and religious observance.
Jewish law operates 24 hours a day, seven days a
week, 365 days a year, and it covers every aspect of our
lives, from when we wake up until we go to bed.
Leviticus 19, for example, requires us to achieve
lives of holiness through real-life deeds, not theories
or ideals or rituals. It requires us to pay respect to our
parents and our elders. It requires us to give food to
the poor in a manner that as much as possible will not
embarrass them. It requires us to pay a laborer his or
her wages on time. It requires us to create a just and
equitable society.
As Gods kingdom of priests and holy nation (see
Exodus 19:6), we must do things Gods way, not our
own. Sometimes, that may clash with our own individual interests, but that is what being Jewish requires. As
rabbis, our job is to teach that.
Some may disagree with us about whether one party
or another, or one politician or another, or one piece
of legislation or another, better represents those values. We rabbis often disagree among ourselves about
such things.
Please do not tell us, however, that we have no right
to address such issues in the first place.

hen I walked out the doors of


One of the primary culprits for this disconnect is not exercising our relationship.
rabbinical school, I felt prepared to teach Talmud, to
Recently, I became part of the special
expound on the teachings of
society of parents who have both kids away
the Torah, and even to help pastor those seekat summer camp. Our house is very quiet.
ing to better understand God.
My wife and I seem to eat a little later,
What I was ill-prepared for when crossing
never go down to the basement, and focus
the threshold from the ivory tower to the real
on each more than we do during the 10
world was how many challenges people face in
months when the kids are at home. In fact,
Rabbi Davidthe routines of daily life and the counsel they
we find that we fall back and ever deeper
Seth Kirshner
seek from their spiritual leaders. This, for me,
in love each summer. We even have half
was my greatest surprise and largest challenge
jokingly suggested that we should look at
in the pulpit rabbinate.
boarding schools. (Maybe not so jokingly)
One topic that seems to bring many a congregant into the
There are two major problems with this eight-week
confidential space of my office relates to marriage. Obviously,
opportunity to reconnect with our partners while the
officiating at weddings requires a lot of rabbinic energy to
kids are away.
ensure that each couple not only celebrates a Jewish wedFirst, would anyone consider that exercising for eight
ding, but also lives a Jewish marriage. But after the nuptials,
weeks a year exempts us from exercising the other 44
the works of maintaining a sense of passion, communication,
weeks? That approach is imbalanced, ineffective, and
respect, fidelity, and the many other core ingredients of a
healthy relationship proves to be challenging for many in our
community. Managing young children and their demanding
schedules, maintaining a taxing work schedule, and earning
salaries that enable Jewish education, Jewish summer camps
and kosher food all add stress. Throw into that the issues that
face the sandwich generation. It is enough to make any marriage a healthy one, working on all cylinders inherently
challenging. Throw one ripple into that intricate machine, and
it operates inefficiently and comes off center. The engine that
helps run a marriage is no longer humming. Instead, its starting to squeak.
I found it to be ironic that I was the one to whom people
turned for direction. Marriage is the hardest job I have ever
held. Not because of the spouse I chose. Like many Jewish
men, I over-married. My wife is a person much smarter, more
attractive, and wiser than I ever will dream of being. But, for
all the reasons listed above, and the pace of the lives we lead,
it is hard to keep balance.
When my engines squeak when they should hum, I regunot a healthy solution. The same is true for exercising
larly turn to our tradition to serve as a compass to orient me
our relationships.
Second, when we are demonstrably in love with our
in the path I take forward. What is blaringly obvious yet often
partners, and engaging in kinder, less charged ways
overlooked is that the Torah does a poor job of modeling
of expressing ourselves, using a softer touch, our kids
healthy marriage and family dynamics.
are at camp. They cannot witness the greatest lesson
When the book of Genesis concludes and the story of Moses
we could model. What a wasted opportunity! Our kids,
and the Exodus begins, we pivot not only in character but in
who learn much more from what they see than from
narrative as well. As Rabbi Donniel Hartman teaches, Genesis
what we instruct, lose the peephole into the happiness
is a book dedicated to peoplehood. Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy are books dedicated to nation buildand satisfaction that partners can afford one another.
ing. In theory, this seems like a great model. But in divvying up
For our nation to succeed, first we must have a
airtime, nationhood gets short shrift. One book is filled with
strong foundation in our peoplehood. The same is true
many characters Adam and Eve; Noah and his family and
of the families we want to raise. We first must have a
animals; Abraham, Sarah, and Hagar, Ishmael and Isaac. Our
strong groundwork in the love and values we work to
foreparents are real figures with beauty and warts, strengths
espouse.
Do not take love for granted. Spend time training that
and weaknesses that make them real, not like fairy tale figures
force, so it does not atrophy and can be trusted if and
but people whom we can seek to emulate. However, once we
when the hum of the machinery called life gets squeaky.
enter Exodus and the three books that follow, very little attention is given to character development as it relates to interperUse those muscles in front of the kids. Carve time out for
sonal relationships and marriage.
your spouse, so your kids see your priorities, and they
In strange ways, this is echoing the model that many who
can follow your example in the relationships they seek
visit my office share in confidence. Happy couples fall madly
to build for themselves.
and deeply in love. The pair joins hands in marriage. And
David-Seth Kirshner is senior rabbi of Temple Emanu-El
then kids enter the scene, work gets demanding, and the partners start relying on each other instead of appreciating one
of Closter, president of the New York Board of Rabbis,
another. The hum becomes squeaky.
and vice president of the North Jersey Board of Rabbis.

The pair joins hands


in marriage. And then
kids enter the scene,
work gets demanding,
and the partners start
relying on each other
instead of appreciating
one another. The hum
becomes squeaky.

The opinions expressed in this section are those of the authors, not necessarily those
of the newspapers editors, publishers, or other staffers. We welcome letters to the editor.
Send them to jstandardletters@gmail.com.
JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017 43

Opinion

Tel Avivs exquisite bubble . . . except when it isnt

el Aviv is very beautiful.


and ends in the Yafo flea market. Arab and
It has the sea; when there are
Jewish fishermen bring in their catch to be
storms and there were quite a
sold in each others fish stores, and Jews
few during my recent stay it is
buy Abulafias famous Arab breads while
absolutely magnificent in its wildness.
Arabs buy Bambas and ice cream from Jewish kiosks.
The Mediterraneans blue-green remains
Tel Aviv has innumerable cafs. It does
when there are storms, but the waves rise
not let its caf society atmosphere be
to 30 and 40 feet and flow over the seawalls onto the boardwalk. The yoga studio
ruined by too much ideological wrangling.
Rabbi Dr.
I go to on the North Port faces the sea, and
Most Tel Aviviim are leftists, who accordMichael
ing to the polls clearly are in the political
Iris, my yoga teacher, is as calming and as
Chernick
minority. Nevertheless, Tel Aviviim think
beautiful a force as the seas lapping ebb
the polls must be wrong, since most of their
and flow.
friends are leftists, too.
Tel Aviv has Yarkon Park, which abuts the now
While Jerusalems citizenry goes to war with each
cleansed Yarkon River. Water fowl bathe in the river, fly
other over ideology, Tel Aviviim overwhelmingly remain
above it, or show themselves off on the shores. Boats,
calmly disgusted with the political, religious, and diplorowing teams, and water bicycles float on the Yarkons
matic situation their country is in. They wait for the next
surface. Walkers, runners, dogs and their owners, kids
elections. While waiting, however, they go to the opera,
and their parents, sunbathers, and picnickers traverse
the theater, the concerts, the lectures, the galleries, the
the paths or loll on the grassy areas of the park. This
museums, the malls, the restaurants, the bars, and, it
bit of green heaven in the midst of the city that never
seems at all hours of the day, the cafs. There no doubt
stops is Tel Avivs Central Park.
are ideological arguments among the residents of Tel
Tel Aviv has a sister city, Yafo, which is dotted with
Aviv, but they tend to be civil when croissants and Danbeautiful Ottoman Empire synagogues, mosques, and
ish pastries are involved. And usually they are.
churches. It is the site of lovely Arab homes and villas
Of course, not all is beautiful and wonderful in Tel
and ritzy new unaffordable apartments. Its promontory
Aviv. There is the poverty-stricken southern Tel Aviv
overlooks the part of the Mediterranean that surrounds
and Shekhunat Hatikvah (the Hatikvah neighborhood),
seven stones, creating a picture of ineffable splendor.
which despite its hopeful name has been a pretty hopeSunsets there are unforgettable.
less quarter of Tel Aviv for as long as I can remember.
In Yafo you might even believe that there is no such
There is plenty of sex-trafficking of foreign women in
thing as an Arab-Israeli conflict. Girls in hijabs pass Jewish shoppers who are looking for bargains and odds
the seamier parts of the city, and there are areas that

Part of the beach in Tel Aviv at dusk.

are rife with crime. Foreign workers are exploited regularly, despite the best efforts of the central and city governments to prevent this, and there is no lack of homelessness, poverty, and begging on the streets and in the
synagogues of Tel Aviv.
Slummy areas, however, arent always what they
appear to be. For example, there is a neighborhood
called Florentin. They are made up of crumbling factory
buildings and decaying block housing; you would think
the only decent thing to do would be to tear down these
eyesores, just for safetys sake. But behind the faade of
decay are some of the citys most avant garde art studios
and galleries. Where else but in Florentin could you find
an exhibition called Totafot (phylacteries), created by

Privilege and responsibility a la Ivanka and Jared

wo personal stories.
scheduled deposition because it fell on
First story. The law firm I
Simchat Torah. His reaction was Again?
worked for first was known as
Really??
a Catholic firm, because most
That was the worst I faced, and quite
of its high level partners were observant
frankly, in some ways I sympathized with
Catholics. I was the only Orthodox Jew
the partner.
there, and what I did and didnt do was, to
Second story. During those years, I had a
them, what Orthodox Jews did and didnt
friend who was a lawyer in a firm that had
do. I often said, only somewhat jocularly,
lots of Jewish partners. He was working on
Joseph C.
that they probably thought coffee was not
a major merger deal and couldnt join his
Kaplan
kosher because I never drank it. (Sorry
team; they were working almost around
coffee lovers, just never liked the taste.)
the clock on the last days of Pesach. When
One positive aspect of this situation was
he returned, the Jewish partner excoriated him for not being there. When my friend said he
that the firm understood religion and religious observance, and took it seriously. So when Friday came in
was sorry but it was Pesach, the partner, who while
the winter, leaving early never was a problem for me,
not completely observant was thoughtful, serious, and
nor was taking off for yomim tovim. In fact, in the eight
knowledgeable about his Judaism, responded: I know.
years I worked there I had only two problems in this
I also usually go to shul on Pesach. You think I didnt
regard. Once, on a Friday in July, when I still lived in
want to be there and with my family for the holiday
Manhattan, just a 20-minute commute from my office,
meals? But this was an emergency. A $50 billion deal.
a partner tried to end an early afternoon meeting we
You let the team down, and others had to pick up the
were having because, he said, he knew I had to leave.
slack.
It took some effort, but I finally was able to convince
Im disappointed in you.
him that I still had plenty of time, and when I did have
And so I turn to Ivanka Trump and Jared Kusher, and
to leave I would do so.
the rabbinical permission they received to be driven
The second was a bit more serious. It happened
by Secret Service agents to and from the inauguration
during one of those horror years (for working people),
festivities on Friday night after Shabbat had begun.
when the Rosh Hashanah/Yom Kippur/Sukkot cycle
According to the news reports, that was because
fell out on seven weekdays. One such year, I had to tell
there were pikuach nefesh (life preservation) issues
a partner that I wouldnt be able to defend a recently
involved, as a result of some inexcusable threats made
44 JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017

against the president and his family.


Im not a rabbi, nor I am skilled in halachic decision
making, so I offer no comment on the technicalities
involved in the decision allowing them to be driven.
I also do not believe that what they did is any basis
whatsoever to question either the sincerity of their
Orthodoxy or the legitimacy of Ivankas conversion,
and I deplore anyone who does either or both.
But its more than simply an halachic issue. I think
of the first-year associate, or indeed of any young and
probably insecure employee who has to leave early on
a Friday in the face of some office emergency. Say that
her supervisor says to her or perhaps the supervisor
just thinks but doesnt say Ivanka and Jared were
able to be driven to a ball and you cant be driven home
after working to help fix this emergency situation?
Or let me look at it from another angle. Assume
Ivanka and Jared had missed some of the festivities
because it was too far or unsafe for them to walk, and
although the question had been asked they declined to
use the permission they received. So instead of attending the balls they went home before Shabbat started
so she could light candles and they could sing Shalom
Aleichem and eat a Shabbat dinner with their family.
And then imagine a supervisor about to criticize an
employee for leaving early in the face of an emergency
but then thinking to himself: Cool it. The Sabbath is
very important to her; even Ivanka and Jared had to
miss some of their father (in-law)s inaugural festivities
because of the Sabbaths importance.

Opinion

an observant Jewish artist, in which he both extols and


criticizes Jewish religiosity using images, sculptures, and
artistic structural arrangements based on tefillin?
Tel Aviv, called Sin City by the pious, is changing. Yes,
there still are tawdry business cards, promising love and
the services of escorts and masseuses, littering the sidewalks almost everywhere. Nevertheless, there is a growing interest in Jewish tradition and Jewish spirituality in
Tel Aviv. Witness: The seaside Kabbalat Shabbat service
that draws hundreds of participants welcoming the Sabbath with song, poetry, and dance. Witness: The so-called
secular batei midrash, houses of study of traditional
Jewish texts, that have sprung up like mushrooms after
the rain all around Tel Aviv. Witness: The modern Orthodox Yakar-Tel Aviv congregation that packs 400 to 600
mostly young people into the Ateret Tzvi synagogue on
a Friday night for what must be described as an ecstatic
neo-chasidic prayer service. Witness: The proliferation
of high-end kosher restaurants in a city where just a few
years back a kosher restaurant of any sort was a needle
in a haystack. There are even occasional Shabbat shtreimelakh and bekishes, the chasidic fur hats and silk caftans, to be seen in Tel Aviv.
Tel Aviv, however, is a bubble. Much of the violence
that takes place in other parts of the country is a distant
reality in Tel Aviv. Being in Tel Aviv is like being outside
Israel but speaking Hebrew and living the Jewish calendar all the time.
Still the bubble bursts when terrorism occurs there.
Acts of that sort are greeted not only with horror, but
with disbelief. How could this happen here? This isnt
Jerusalem. We dont live in the territories. It is then that

This bridge spans the Yarkon River in Tel Aviv.

The flea market in Yafo

Tel Aviv becomes part of Israel again. Then it ceases to


be a Middle Eastern version of Vienna.
I love Jerusalem for many things. For my Jerusalemite
friends and relatives who live there. For the wonderful
Sephardi and Ashkenazi synagogues that I attend there.
For its history, its archeology, its idiosyncratic characters, and its colorful and diverse ethnic groups. But
Jerusalem often disappoints me. You expect the city to
be like Heaven. Instead it is ill-managed and often illmannered. Sometimes I feel it is too holy to be normal.
Tel Aviv makes no claims to holiness. It claims only
to be the first major modern city in Israel to be built by
Jewish labor. It is the city of the Jew turned cosmopolitan for better or worse.

Jerusalem demands perfection. Tel Aviv demands a


good patisserie.
I place Heavenly Jerusalem above my highest joys.
Nevertheless, let my right hand wither if I forget the
sacred and (kosher!) secular pleasures I have experienced in earthly Tel Aviv.
Professor Michael Chernick of Teaneck holds the Deutsch
Family Chair in Jewish Jurisprudence and Social Justice at
the Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion in
New York; his area of expertise is the Talmud. He received
his doctorate from the Bernard Revel Graduate School
and rabbinic ordination from the Rabbi Isaac Elchanan
Theological Seminary.

I really need to cut her some slack.


I dont know who the rabbi was who gave them permission to be driven on Shabbat, nor do I know the
specific halachic reasoning that went into such permission. One reason suggested in online discussions
of this issue (and I saw many such discussions) was
that they are important public/governmental figures
karove lemalchut in halachic terms and the rules
governing the behavior of such people can be different
in certain situations because of the impact it may have
on the Jewish community. Perhaps.
But while being karove lemalchut may have privileges, responsibilities accompany those privileges. In
this case, and in light of the democratic nature of our
country, for which we should continue to seek Gods
blessings in shul on Shabbat morning as we have done
for centuries, I believe the responsibilities trumped
(please dont groan too loudly; its in memory of my
father-in-law who loved puns) the privilege.
This young power couple had an opportunity to
emphasize the importance of Shabbat and teach that
importance to many who might not truly understand
what it means to those who take seriously the halachic
rules governing Shabbat. That is a precious opportunity that if it had been seized might have been beneficial to many. It is opportunity that sadly was missed.
Joseph C. Kaplan, a regular contributor, has been
living in Teaneck and practicing law in Manhattan
for many years.

Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner leave after the presidential inauguration at the U.S. Capitol last Friday.

SAUL LOEB/POOL/GETTY IMAGES
JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017 45

Opinion

Confronting the politicization of the Holocaust

bout a month ago,


in this column, I
wrote about a group
of British animal
rights activists who employed
Nazi imagery in a vicious campaign against a kosher abattoir
(slaughterhouse) in London.
This, I said, was another examBen Cohen
ple of the Holocaust being used
as a stick with which to beat the
Jews, by turning their own victimhood on its head.
In the intervening period, there have been three significant episodes involving the Holocaust, and the Nazi era more
broadly, which suggest that I underestimated the scale of this
problem. For all the widespread ignorance of history these
days, for all the talk of post-truth politics, for all the celebrations on right and left over the coming dismantling of the post1945 order, we remain fixated on the past.
Moreover, I would venture: We just cant stop talking
about Hitler.
By we, I dont mean the Jewish community specifically.
There is general agreement among ourselves about the
Holocaust and its core lessons for our people to be secure
in the diaspora, to achieve self-determination in our ancestral homeland, to be vigilant in confronting any and all antidemocratic manifestations, to commemorate the Holocaust
across future generations although nobody can say how
long that consensus will last.
Equally, the Jewish community has developed norms and
customs for talking about the Holocaust, especially when it
comes to invoking it in relation to contemporary events. And
again, there is general recognition that this approach sometimes can be enlightening and helpful when studying the
genocides in Rwanda or Cambodia, for example. But most of
the time, it involves demagogy and political opportunism.
And that brings me to the three examples I want to talk
about.
The commonality these examples share is that the Jewish
community was a bystander in all of them. In some ways, it
seemed that everyone was talking about Hitler, or using Hitler
for their own ends, except us, and we were left protesting on
the sidewalk.
Example one: On January 10, our incoming president, Donald Trump, wondered aloud on his Twitter feed, following the
release of an unverified report about his activities in Russia,
whether we were living in Nazi Germany. Now, in my view,
whats at issue here shouldnt lead us into another arid, frustrating debate about what these social media outbursts tell us
about Trump.
The overriding point, I think, is the ease, more than 70
years after their defeat, with which the Nazis continue to slide
into our own political conflicts. The baby boomer generation,
of which Trump is a member, was notorious in this regard,
forever making incendiary comparisons with the SS and
the Gestapo, regardless of whether the matter at hand was
of enormous significance, such as the Vietnam war, or ludicrously trivial, like returning to your car and finding a parking
ticket on the windshield.
This Nazi talk, or Hitler talk, or whatever you may call
it, has been part of our cultural language since 1945. It shows
little sign of waning. And partly because of that, its become
much simpler to invoke the Holocaust for political ends.
After all, most people know that the Nazis murdered 6
million Jews, but their response to that has been extraordinarily varied. At one end of the scale, there is outright
sympathy and a profusion of Holocaust memorials in the
United States and around the world. At the other, there is
46 JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017

Deputy National Security Adviser Ben Rhodes, who constructed the Obama administrations communications strategy around the Iran nuclear deal, addresses the media in January 2014.
U.S. STATE DEPARTMENT

resentment at the central role assigned to the Holocaust in


understanding the 20th century, and the readiness to brandish it as a mirror in front of the State of Israel and the Jewish community more broadly.
Which brings me to example two: On January 17, our outgoing president, Barack Obama, appointed his deputy national
security adviser, Ben Rhodes, to the council of the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum. Rhodes, you will remember, was
the White House staffer who constructed the administrations
smoke-and-mirrors communications strategy around the 2015
Iran nuclear deal. And after having crafted the myth of a moderate, cooperative Iran which meant dismissing the Islamic
Republics official doctrine of Holocaust denial as rhetoric
without consequence Rhodes has landed a post that feels
like a thumb in the eye to many Jews, Democrats and Republicans alike.
We can only speculate about what Obama was thinking
it was revenge, many said, and that is probably true up to a
point. Of greater import, Id say, is what this tells us about the
tensions that arise from the manner in which the Holocaust
is remembered.
Obama himself has been interested only in Judaisms universalist aspects, and there is no reason to expect Rhodes to
be any different. Implicit in his appointment is the view that
the Holocaust is a tragedy that belongs to everybody, and that
the best response to it is an anodyne, pacifist humanitarianism, solemnly declaring that all cultures are of equal worth,
emphasizing diplomacy and dialogue when confronted by
nationalist and religious fanatics.
There are many, many problems with this viewpoint.
One of them involves a failure to grasp that these same
fanatics wield the Holocaust as a propaganda weapon.
Holocaust denial is a staple in the Arab and wider Islamic
worlds, along with imagery depicting Israelis as Nazis. In
the Soviet Union, the Holocausts Jewish character was
outright negated; now Russian dictator Vladimir Putin
portrays Ukraine as a Nazi state in order to win support
for the occupation of Crimea.
Again, this is a propaganda trend that shows no sign of abating and arguably is increasing. On, then, to example three: On
January 18, Bjoern Hoecke, a leader of Germanys fast-rising,
far-right anti-immigrant Alternative for Germany party, delivered a rousing speech to students in the city of Dresden. At
its heart and this, bear in mind, came from someone who
claims to be leading the struggle against Muslim extremism

in Germany was an assault on the place of the Holocaust in


Germanys national memory. Germans are the only people in
the world who plant a monument of shame in the heart of the
capital, Hoecke declared in reference to Berlins Holocaust
memorial, expressing the nauseating self-pity that envelops
Europes right-wing nationalists approach to the Holocaust.
This laughable policy of coming to terms with the past is
crippling us. We need a 180-degree turnaround in our policy
of memory, Hoecke continued, as the students applauded.
There were no German victims anymore, only German
perpetrators.
The victims Hoecke refers to are the thousands who died
in Germany during Allied bombing raids; the German civilians the Czechs deported at the end of the war, and perhaps
even the entire German nation, those poor innocents duped
by the Nazis. The overarching point here is plain: The Holocaust was only one incident of inhumanity during the Second
World War, and there were others in which Germans were the
primary victims.
Jean-Marie Le Pen, the father of French far-right leader
Marine Le Pen, may have been more prescient than we
gave him credit for when he said, in 1987, that the Holocaust was a minor detail in the history of the Second
World War. But even reduced to the status of a minor
detail, or just one episode of the savagery on all sides during World War II, the Holocaust and its Nazi authors continue to be talked about endlessly.
If the Holocaust now is primarily an instrument to be
deployed in politics, rather than a central historical memory
with a direct bearing upon both politics and ethics, we can
expect further manipulation of the past to serve the imperatives of the present. From the Hitler chatter on social media
all the way up to the new guardians of Holocaust memory, it
is all going horribly wrong.
But the proper response to all this begins with fortitude,
not despair. Each Jewish generation has had to deal with
its own distinct and often fatal challenges. This which
places our history at the center of todays political disJNS.ORG
course is one of ours.
Ben Cohen, senior editor of TheTower.org and the Tower
magazine, writes a weekly column on Jewish affairs and Middle
Eastern politics. His work has been published in Commentary,
the New York Post, Haaretz, the Wall Street Journal, and many
other publications.

Dvar Torah
Vaera: E pluribus unum?

just came back from


meet a person at a cocktail party or on a cruise or
sitting on a bet din
at work, and you only can
writing a few gittin
see them partially, in one
(divorce documents)
aspect. But that should not
in which every name by
which the person and their
be the case with God, who
parents are known must
is invisible and completely
be included. This is crudifferent from us. Isnt
cial, because despite the
God immune to being misRabbi David
took or only understood
fact that ones basketball
Bockman
in pieces? Isnt God one?
buddies might call you
Congregation
Its not as if there were a
Lou while your boss at
Beth Shalom,
public face or mask God
work calls you Schwartz
Pompton Lakes,
wears when hanging out
and your mother still calls
Conservative
with his bigoted friends at
you Louis, when you get
the Country Club, while the
divorced there should be
truer and more sensitive
no mistaking the fact that
personality is only revealed when alone
all these different names refer to the
with ones closest childhood friends!
same person and that all of them are
This is the essence of a question
now divorced.
posed by the Maggid of Koznitz: If God
We dont think of God this way, usually. God is one, unitary. But in this
was complete and whole at the time of
weeks Torah portion, Vaera, God tells
the worlds creation, what new behaviors should be able to be discovered
Moses that Gods names are multiple.
ever regarding God?
God spoke to Moses and said to him,
The Slonimer Rebbe writes in his
I am YHWH. I appeared to Abraham,
work Netivot Shalom that its not God
to Isaac and to Jacob as El Shaddai, but
who is changing but our knowledge
my name YHWH I did not make known
of God. Until the Exodus from Egypt,
to them. This seems strange, no? You

people had no idea how horrible slavery was and how far God would go to
uproot it. Its not really a name that is at
stake, but the type of world that name
represents. Even though the laws of
physics do not change from day to day,
we find that the conception of them can
and does change. Believing that any
long- and deeply-held verities actually
encapsulate the entirety of truth is the
very definition of idolatry!
As I write these words, Donald Trump
is being sworn in as the new president
of the United States. On the one hand, it
seems ridiculous to believe that things
will change simply because a new pharaoh has arisen. Yet it is clear, says the
Netivot Shalom, that there constantly
arise opportunities and challenges in
which we human beings are called to
help God reveal new faces in effect,
new worlds.
This is not because God is new, but
because we are presented these opportunities by God to have a hand in the
unfolding of history. Daily, we have the
chance to pursue mitzvot that yesterday
were unavailable to us. We must constantly be on the lookout for people who

need our help, whom we are uniquely


positioned to assist, whether we wear a
safety pin or an American flag pin. This
is the promise of a new era: opportunity
after opportunity to become someone
greater than we have heretofore been.
I am inclined to like this weeks Torah
portion, Vaera, because it was my bar
mitzvah parasha. At the time, I had no
inkling about the future. I had no idea
that I would become a rabbi, but I also
had no idea that the Holy Blessed One,
Hakadosh Baruch Hu, would think so
highly of me as to present me, over and
over, with chances to become the bar
mitzvah boy I suspect I may yet become.
With Gods continued prodding, I may
one day make it! Hopefully, we will all
look deeper into such challenges as new
worlds that need our help to continue
to unfold. Whether the new world is a
new family arrangement or a new political administration, we this moment
are being called to reveal new aspects of
holiness no one may have ever expected
before. May we be part of bringing to
light more and more of Gods Unity as
our lives progress. Shabbat Shalom.

Trump to forge a common vision and


advance peace and security in the
region, the statement said.
In a White House statement, Trump
described the conversation as very
nice and stressed his unprecedented
commitment to Israels security.
The president and the prime minister agreed to continue to closely consult
on a range of regional issues, including
addressing the threats posed by Iran,
the White House said.
Additionally, the Trump administration said it believes peace between
Israel and the Palestinians can only be
negotiated directly between the two
parties....The United States will work
closely with Israel to make progress
JNS.ORG
toward that goal.

calls to such facilities in a 10-day span.


Sixteen American JCCs, including the
Kaplen JCC on the Palisades in Tenafly,
received bomb threats January 9. For
the January 18 incidents, the community
centers were well-prepared to handle
the threats and swiftly engaged in security protocols, according to an umbrella
organization, the JCC Association of
North America.
In the wake of last weeks calls, JCCs
were well-prepared for the calls received
today, David Posner, director of strategic performance for the JCC Association,
said in a statement. Many JCC leaders
took part in a webinar organized quickly
by the JCC Association, featuring officials
from SCN (the Secure Community Network) and the Department of Homeland
Security to address concerns and procedures. Lessons learned and best practices discussed were clearly on display
this morning, and we applaud our JCCs
for responding calmly and efficiently.
Posner, however, cautioned that the
JCC Association is concerned about the
anti-Semitism behind these threats.

JNS.ORG

BRIEFS

Israel raises height


of fence along the
Sinai Penninsula
The Israeli government announced that it
has finished raising the height of the electronic border fence between Israel and
Egypts Sinai Peninsula by 10 feet in an
effort to further curb illegal infiltrations.
Israel originally completed the 150mile border fence, which runs from the
Gaza border to Eilat, in 2014. The fence
was aimed at curbing illegal migration,
drug and weapons smuggling, and infiltration by terrorists. The Sinai Peninsula
has been wrought with violence in recent
years as the Egyptian government, with
Israels support, has battled an Islamic
State-affiliated terror group in the region.
While the fence had significantly slashed
the number of illegal migrants from Africa
into Israel from hundreds every month
to only 213 in all of 2015 the number of continued successful infiltrations
prompted the government to raise the barrier from 15 feet to 25 feet along a roughly
10-mile stretch of the border.

According to Israeli Defense Minister


Avigdor Lieberman, the increased height
of the fence, coupled with additional
detection devices, significantly curbed
the flow of illegal infiltration into Israel,
with only 11 successful attempts to cross
JNS.ORG
the fence throughout 2016.

Trump invites
Netanyahu to
White House
President Donald Trump invited Israeli
Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu
to visit Washington, D.C., next month
in their first official conversation since
Trump was sworn in.
The Prime Ministers Office said in a
statement that President Trump invited
Prime Minister Netanyahu to come to
Washington to meet him in February. A
final date for the visit will be set in the
days ahead.
The two leaders had a very warm conversation and Netanyahu expressed
his desire to work closely with President

27 JCCs receive
new bomb threats
Twenty-seven Jewish community centers across 17 U.S. states received bomb
threats on January 18, marking the second
nationwide wave of threatening phone

JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017 47

Arts & Culture


Knowing when to run,
and other Jewish values
DONALD C. CUTLER

n November 8, Masha
Gessens book tour
became a what-shouldwe-do-now tour.
Her new book, Where the Jews
Arent: The Sad and Absurd Story
of Birobidzhan, Russias Jewish
Autonomous Region, was overshadowed by her five-year-old
biography, The Man Without a
Face: The Unlikely Rise of Vladimir Putin. Her essays in the New
York Review of Books drew on her
experience in Russia to provide
guidance for Americas new era.
When her Autocracy: Rules for
Survival went viral a few days
before she spoke near my house,
I made plans to attend. Informed
by her time in Putins Moscow,
where she edited one of the Russian presidents favorite natural
science magazines, Gessens rules
provide the reader with a six-point
outline for maintaining sanity in a
time of transition toward irrational totalitarianism. She notes in
the introduction to her rules that
Donald Trump is anything but a
regular politician and that he was
Masha Gessen knows the feeling of being uprooted (twice) from her country.
the first candidate in memory
who ran not for president but for
the disastrous potential of Nazi Germany
Our community often allows itself to forautocrat and won.
get that we had more than one answer to
and Soviet Russia. It could be that some of
Gessen is a two-time migr from Russia to the United States. As a teenager in
the Jewish question before the establishthe cultural survivalists responsible for the
ment of the State of Israel. Today we are
1981, she came to America with her famfoundations of Birobidzhans social fabric
ily. A decade later, she returned to Mosseeing slight glimmers of this diversity of
had better imaginations.
cow to work as a journalist, but in 2013 she
thought, as upstart groups refuse to accept
David Bergelson clearly was one of these
returned to the United States in response
the status quo within Jewish communal
thinkers. Bergelson, arguably the storys
to Russias increasing persecution of gays
institutions, often making that clear by
main character, saw Birobidzhan less as an
and lesbians.
way of their Twitter feeds and other safe
idealized socialist enclave for Jews as his
I went to the talk to hear Gessens wellspaces.
public writings on the region would suggest than as a way to survive. His dediinformed rallying cry in person, but she
But in interbellum Europe, the Jewish question was more than academic.
cation to living was paramount; living was
was still there to sell books, so she talked
Threats against the Jewish community
the only choice for Bergelson, no matter
about Where the Jews Arent, and signed
were real and constant. Jewish intellecthe means that enabled his survival. Gescopies of it.
tuals had to respect this environment as
sens presentation of this man whose life
While the title gives away much of the
they engaged in debates around how best
was hypocritical at best and morally and
story, Gessens distinctively Russianto answer to the Jewish question. Gesintellectually reprehensible at worst is
accented writing integrates her family
sen, along with other historians, noted
understanding and kind. It even could be
story with that of the often ridiculous
that the scope of the horror perpetrated
described as loving. Bergelson is portrayed
path that led to the establishment and
against European Jewry was made possias a consummate survivalist and intellecultimate disintegration of a Jewish Autonomous Region in the farthest reaches of
ble by a lack of imagination. How could
tual, a description that is the ultimate compliment in this context.
the Soviet Union. Yet for me, the most surthis be possible? was likely a common
prising aspect of this storyline was how
Simon Dubnow, an equally visionrefrain in communal gatherings in the
ary thinker and literary counterbalance
this region was as much a creation of the
early years of Hitlers reign. Even as bodies started to accumulate across Europe, it
to Bergelsons Soviet propagandist role,
minds of Jewish cultural survivalists as it
required near-clairvoyance to understand
also is presented to the reader in a softer
was of Soviet policy.
48 JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017

manner than an objective historical review of his life might


have warranted. But he too is
lauded for his nearly perfect
understanding of the innate
Jewish virtue of knowing when
to leave.
This worldview makes perfect sense for a person who
was forced to emigrate from
the same place twice. Gessens
story, which is starkly and beautifully outlined in the prologue,
provides a backdrop to the realities of the early death throes of
the Soviet Jewish problem, as
well as the present-day Russian
LGBT problem. In the early
1980s, her family left communist Russia, leaving the only
home young Masha and her
family had ever known, intending to build a new life in the
United States. She was not convinced this was the right choice.
She notes that she and her
friends, their parents, the parents of the kids from the other
block, all of [their] extended
families going back centuries
our people had been engaged
in an ongoing argument. When
should the Jews stay put and
when should the Jews run?
As a people, we are forced to ask this
question, it seems, in every generation.
And unfortunately, the Soviet Jews who
believed in the promise of Birobidzhan,
living in the Autonomous Region or in
other cities around the Communist nation,
were forced to contemplate this question
when there were few alternative answers.
As the title explains, there are no longer
Jews in what was designated as a Jewish
region. In the introduction to Bergelsons
story of survival, we learn he was killed by
an executioners bullet. Every theme, person, and place explored in this book is rife
with contradiction. Yet, somehow, these
dialectics are understandable within the
Jewish reality Gessen describes.
Knowing when to run and not being
ashamed to do what is necessary to survive
are critical Jewish values, according to Gessen. Those values are to be celebrated and
honored. The book is dedicated thoughtfully to Gessens parents and their courage
in leaving. While written at a time when
this was in admiration of their past, it rings
as an all-too-real warning for our future.

Calendar
and a film, at the center,
11:30 a.m. 194 Ratzer
Road. (973) 694-6274 or
Chanig@optonline.net.

Paint in Teaneck:

Temple Beth Rishon in Wyckoff holds Caf Beth Rishon on


Saturday, January 28, at 7:30 p.m. The cabaret-style evening
includes classical, Broadway, contemporary, jazz, classic rock,
American folk, Israeli, and Yiddish music, performed by talented
congregants and leaders, and a dance performance by the Syncopated
Seniors Tap Dance Troupe. Cheeses and hors doeuvres, fruit, and desserts.
585 Russell Ave. (201) 891-4466 or bethrishon.org.

JAN.

Jewish Association
of Developmental
Disabilities offers a
two-session art therapy
Paint Night event
with fun, food, and
festivities. The events
for those with special
needs, 16 and older, are
at Congregation Beth
Sholom, 6 p.m. Dairy
dinner. Also Tuesday,
February 7. Proceeds
benefit J-ADD. 354
Maitland Ave. Register,
(201) 457-0058, ext. 24
or events@j-add.org.

28

Friday

Saturday

JANUARY 27

JANUARY 28

Shabbat in Teaneck: The

Shabbat in Closter:

Jewish Center of Teaneck


hosts a community
dinner, a chance to meet
Rabbi Daniel Fridman,
and oneg Shabbat,
6 p.m. Optional board
games at 8. 70 Sterling
Place. Reservations,
(201) 833-0515 or
www.jcot.org.

Shabbat in Jersey
City: Bnai Jacob offers
dinner and services,
7 p.m. 176 West Side Ave.
(201) 435-5725 or
www.bnaijacobjc.com.

Temple Emanu-El of
Closter welcomes
scholar-in-residence
Benjamin D. Sommer,
professor of Bible
and ancient Semitic
languages at the Jewish
Theological Seminary,
during services, 9 a.m. An
informal discussion and
dessert reception follow.
180 Piermont Road.
(201) 750-9997 or www.
templeemanu-el.com.
Winter potluck lunch at
Temple Beth Am follows
services that begin at
10:30 a.m. Bring a dairy
or vegetarian side dish,
salad, or dessert; the
shul provides a main
course. 111 Avenue B.
(201) 858-2020.

JANUARY 29
Shabbat in Teaneck:
Temple Emeth has
services with Dr. Hasia
Diner, a professor at the
NYU Skirball department
of Hebrew and Judaic
studies. She will
discuss Peddling and
Jewish History, 8 p.m.
1666 Windsor Road.
(201) 833-1322 or
www.emeth.org.

Congregation Adas
Emuno holds a blood
drive with New Jersey
Blood Services, a
division of New
York Blood Center,
10 a.m.-2:30 p.m. 254
Broad Ave. (201) 592-1712
or www.adasemuno.org.

Super Sunday: The


Jewish Federation of
Northern New Jersey
holds its annual Super
Sunday fundraising/
family fun day, beginning
at 9:30 a.m., with a
childrens character
breakfast with Chase and
Belle, Israeli-style fun
and games with northern
New Jerseys shlichot,
Camp-A-Palooza with
the NJY Camps, and
an interactive program
by Music Together
of Northern NJ Its at
Yeshivat Noam, 70

Improve your sitting:


Joyce Bendavid begins
a three-part Feldenkrais
Awareness Movement
class, Dynamic Sitting,
aimed at improving
sitting posture, at
Congregation Rinat
Yisrael in Teaneck,
7:30 p.m. Donation
to Nerot womens
organization. Bring a
mat. Other sessions
follow. 389 West
Englewood Ave. Joyce,
(201) 759-4222 or
JBendavidOTR@gmail.
com.

Rabbi Dov Drizin


Modern brain-twisters:

Blood drive in Leonia:

Shabbat in Bayonne:

Sunday
Hasia Diner

W. Century Road in
Paramus. Volunteer/
donate/sign up to make
calls. (201) 820-3956,
or www.JFNNJ.org/
supersunday.

the Anti-Defamation
Leagues Words to
Action program, for
high-school students
and their parents, 7 p.m.
(Program for sixth- to
seventh-graders is on
Thursday, February 2, at
3:45 p.m.) 950 Preakness
Ave. Rabbi Meeka
Simerly, (973) 595-6565
or rabbimeekatbt@
optonline.net.

Steven Bell
Concert in Teaneck:
The Teaneck Community
Chorus presents its
winter concert, The
Mighty Bs from Bach
to Beyonc, directed by
Steven Bell, at Teaneck
High School, 3 p.m.
(201) 390-8683.

Rabbi Dov Drizin of


Valley Chabad begins
a new six-session
course from the Rohr
Jewish Learning
Institute, The Dilemma:
Modern Conundrums
Talmudic Debates
Your Solutions,
7:45 p.m. Accredited
for Continuing Legal
Education (in most
states). 100 Overlook
Drive, Woodcliff
Lake. (201) 476-0157,
valleychabad.org, or
myJLI.com.

Tuesday
JANUARY 31

Book club in Pompton


Lakes: Congregation
Beth Shalom meets to
discuss The Forgetting
River: A Modern Tale
of Survival, Identity,
and the Inquisition
by Doreen Carjaval,
7:30 p.m. 21 Passaic Ave.
(973) 835-3500.

Wednesday
FEBRUARY 1
JFNNJ womens
gathering: The Pearl

Robert W. Butts
Leonard Bernstein
lecture in Wayne:
The YMCA of Wayne
continues a new
Backstage at the Y
series with Leonard
Bernstein: Americas
Musician, a lecture by
Robert W. Butts in the
Rosen Performing Arts
Center, 11:45 a.m. The
Metro YMCAs of the
Oranges is a partner of
the YM-YWHA of North
Jersey. 1 Pike Drive.
(973) 595-0100.

Art talk in Orangeburg:


Karen Lehrman Bloch
offers a slideshow
and discussion of the
images in her new book,
Passage to Israel, at
the Orangetown Jewish
Center, 7:30 p.m. 8
Independence Ave.,
Orangeburg, N.Y.
(845) 359-5920, ext. 2, or
theojc.org.

Monday
JANUARY 30
Senior program in
Wayne: The Chabad
Center of Passaic
County continues its
Smile on Seniors
program with lunch

Talking about Gerald


Ford: At a meeting
of REAP (Retired
Executives and Active
Professionals) at the
Kaplen JCC on the
Palisades in Tenafly.
Marty Alboum tells the
story of Gerald Ford,
the 38th president
of the United States,
10:45 a.m. 411 E. Clinton
Ave. (201) 569-7900 or
www.jccotp.org.

Combatting antiSemitism: Temple


Beth Tikvah in Wayne
offers a session of

Society, a new initiative


from Jewish Federation
of Northern New
Jersey, meets at SPACE,
491 South Dean St.,
Englewood, 7:30 p.m.
The society recognizes
women of all ages for a
minimum gift of $180.
Barbara, barbaraj@jfnnj.
org or (201) 820-3953.

Jewish traditions,
interfaith connections:
Temple Emanuel of
the Pascack Valley in
Woodcliff Lake continues
its Keruv: Keeping in
Touch Series with a
discussion of a book,
The Dinner Party. The
talk is led via Skype
with the author, Brenda
Janowitz, at the shul,
7:30 p.m. The program
was developed by the
Federation of Jewish

JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017 49

Calendar

Thursday
FEBRUARY 2
Biblical politics in
Pompton Lakes:
Rabbi David Bockman
continues an adult
ed class, Politics,
Leadership, and
Scandal: The Biblical
Books of Samuel and
Kings, at Congregation
Beth Shalom,
10:45 a.m. 21 Passaic Ave.
(973) 835-3500 or www.
bethshalomnj.org.

Combatting antiSemitism: Temple Beth


Tikvah in Wayne offers
a session of the AntiDefamation Leagues
Words to Action
program, for sixth- and
seventh-graders and
their parents in grades
six and seven, 3:45 p.m.
950 Preakness Ave.
Rabbi Meeka Simerly,
(973) 595-6565 or
rabbimeekatbt@
optonline.net.

Friday
FEBRUARY 3
Shabbat in Closter:
Temple Beth El invites
the community to its
Shabbat Unplugged
Band Service, featuring
members of the
congregation and
guest jazz violinist
Joe Deninzon, led by
Rabbi David S. Widzer
and Cantor Rica
Timman, 7:30 p.m. 221
Schraalenburgh Road.
(201) 768-5112.

Shabbat in Teaneck:
Scholar-in-residence
Rabbi Paysach Krohn is
at Congregation Beth
Aaron. At 8:15 p.m., he
will discuss Tefillah: A
Way of Connection.
After the Shabbat
morning main minyan he
will talk about Becoming
a Person of Blessing,
and in between Mincha
and Maariv he will
discuss The iPad, the
iPhone, and the iPod:
Becoming an Upper
Case Personality. 950
Queen Anne Road.
www.bethaaron.org or
(201) 836-6210.

Saturday
FEBRUARY 4
Shabbat in Closter:
Temple Emanu-El of
Closter welcomes

scholar-in-residence
David Horovitz, editor
of the Times of Israel
and former editor of
the Jerusalem Post and
the Jerusalem Report,
during services, 9 a.m.
He will discuss 2017: A
New Administration, A
New Congress Whats
Next for the U.S.-Israel
Relationship? An
informal discussion and
dessert reception follow.
Sponsored by the Fried
family. 180 Piermont
Road. (201) 750-9997 or
www.templeemanu-el.
com.

Comedy in Glen Rock:


Comedians Kerri Louise,
Steven Scott, and the
Stone Twins perform
during the Glen Rock
Jewish Centers Comedy
Night, 9:15 p.m. 682
Harristown Road.
(201) 652-6624 or www.
grjc.org/form/comedynight.html.

Sunday
FEBRUARY 5
Blood drive in
Englewood:
Congregation Ahavath
Torah holds a blood drive
with New Jersey Blood
Services, a division of
New York Blood Center,
9 a.m.-3 p.m. 240 Broad
Ave. (800) 933-2566 or
www.nybloodcenter.org.

Campers invited
to Kaplen JCC
To showcase all the exciting camp
offerings it has planned for this summer, the Kaplen JCC on the Palisades
in Tenafly is holding a camp fair on
Sunday, February 5, from noon to 2
p.m. Children will enjoy face-painting,
a bounce house, giveaways, arts and
crafts, performances, sample camp
activities, and a tour of the JCC facility
with their families.
There are many options for campers, from 3 to 15 years old, and all are
inclusive, offering a daily swim, lunch,
snacks, towel service, and access to
transportation and extended care.
Families who register campers at the
fair will be entered to win one week of
any camp and receive camp and membership discounts.
For information, call Melissa Peters, (201) 408-1485 or go to jccotp.org.

Party showcase scheduled for Sunday


Celebrate! Party Showcases annual show, presented by Mitzvah Market, is at the Park
Ridge Marriott on Sunday, January 29. The large bar and bat mitzvah planning showcase runs from noon to 4 p.m. The hotel is at 300 Brae Boulevard in Park Ridge. For
information, go to www.celebrateshowcase.com. Attendees can get a free ticket with
online registration, along with a chance to win a FitBit.
50 JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017

Used book sale: The Fair


Lawn Jewish Center/
Congregation Bnai Israel
holds a sale, 9:45 a.m.6 p.m. Prices from 50
cents to $2. Proceeds
divided between Tackle
Kids Cancer and the
shuls social action
committee projects,
which include packing
supplies for the military
and weekend snack
packs for children in
need. 10-10 Norma Ave.
(201) 796-5040.

Baseball preview in
Teaneck: Bob Klapisch,
baseball columnist for
the Record, will preview
the 2017 baseball season
at a Congregation
Beth Aaron mens club
breakfast, 9:30 a.m.
950 Queen Anne Road.
www.bethaaron.org or
(201) 836-6210.

Tu bShvat in Wayne:
Temple Beth Tikvah
hosts a traditional seder
with treats including
chocolate, strawberries,
pomegranates, and chips,
10:30 a.m. 950 Preakness
Ave. (973) 595-6565.

Pancakes in Washington
Township: Temple Beth
Or hosts its third annual
pancake breakfast, 11 a.m.
Proceeds will support
technology purchases
for the shuls religious
school. 56 Ridgewood
Road. (201) 664-7422 or
templebethornj.org.

In New York
Tuesday
FEBRUARY 2

Israel, 2:30 p.m. They will


reminisce about music,
historical events, and
memories. Dessert buffet.
20 Academy Road. Sue,
(973) 226-3600, ext. 145,
or singles@agudath.org.

Sunday
FEBRUARY 5
Seniors meet in West
Nyack: Singles 65+

T-Klez
Klezmer in Brooklyn:
A New Jersey-based
klezmer group, T-Klez,
above, from left, David
Licht, Dobe (Dena)
Ressler, and Psachya
Septimus, appear as
part of the Klezmer
Series curated by Aaron
Alexander at the Jalopy
Theater & School of
Music, 8:30 p.m. Klezmer
instrumental music
workshop at 6:30; dance
party at 9:15, jam session
at 10:45. 315 Columbia St.
(718) 395-3214.

meets for a social gettogether at the JCC


Rockland, 11 a.m. All are
welcome, particularly if
you are from Hudson,
Passaic, Bergen, or
Rockland counties.
Refreshments. 450 West
Nyack Road. Gene Arkin,
(845) 356-5525.

Singles
Sunday
JANUARY 29
Singles meet in
Caldwell: New Jersey
Jewish Singles 45+ meets
at Congregation Agudath

Announce
your events
We welcome announcements of upcoming events.
Announcements are free.
Accompanying photos must
be high resolution, jpg files.
Send announcements 2 to 3
weeks in advance. Not every
release will be published.
Include a daytime telephone
number and send to:

pr@jewishmediagroup.
com 201-837-8818 x 110

Museum honors the late Elie Wiesel


The Museum of Jewish Heritage A Living Memorial to the
Holocaust joins with the National Yiddish Theatre Folksbiene to
honor the memory of Nobel Laureate Elie Wiesel by presenting
a community reading of his memoir, Night, on Sunday, January 29 at 3 p.m. More than 50 notable readers include Tovah
Feldshuh, Abraham H. Foxman, Joel Grey, Daniel Libeskind,
Itzhak Perlman, and Dr. Ruth Westheimer. January 27 is International Holocaust Remembrance Day. For more information,
call (646) 437-4202 or go to www.mjhnyc.org.

Cycle while raising awareness


The Jewish Federation of Northern New
Jerseys Womens Philanthropy, Pink
Day, dedicated to womens health and
awareness, is held this year in support of
Sharsheret, the national organization supporting young women and their families,
of all Jewish backgrounds, who face breast
or ovarian cancer.
On Tuesday, February 7, which is
Sharsheret Pink Day, CycleGiving: Pink
Day will be at CycleBar in Fort Lee. Think
PINK: Pampering cycling; Information

raise breast cancer awareness; Nutrition


sample healthy treats, and Kickstart
volunteer. The event begins at 10:30 a.m.
CycleBar is at 2012 Hudson St. Space is
limited. Participants should dress comfortably and bring new, unopened travelsized moisturizers for Sharsheret to distribute to women undergoing treatment
as part of its Best Face Forward program.
Sign up at http://bit.ly/PINKDAYCBGiving
or call (201) 227-6400.

JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017 50

SERGEY BERMENIEV

Mens Clubs to help


couples, parents,
extended families, and
synagogues deal with
interfaith relationships
and marriage. 87
Overlook Drive.
(201) 391-0801 or keruv@
tepv.org.

Calendar

Crossword

SHORTENED NAMES BY YONI GLATT


KOSHERCROSSWORDS@GMAIL.COM
DIFFICULTY LEVEL: CHALLENGING

Zumba party rescheduled in Tenafly


The Kaplen JCC on the Palisades in
Tenafly has rescheduled its free community-wide 75-minute Zumba party. It is
now planned for Saturday, February 4,
from 7:30 to 8:45 p.m.
Participants must be 12 and older and
will have the chance to dance nonstop for
75 minutes to great Latin, hip-hop, and
African music. It will be led by a team of
expert JCC Zumba instructors, including
Cat Veca-Mejia, Lauren Greene, Hilah Reva,
Jaclyn Alterwein, and Evangelina Bishop.
Zumba is one of more than 90 complimentary drop-in group exercise classes
that are offered to JCC members every
week. Group fitness allows people to
achieve their fitness goals with great company at all times of the day to suit different
lifestyles. Programs are geared for all ages
and all fitness and skill levels.

In an effort to encourage people to


engage in more healthful activities, we
always look to feature a wide variety of fitness options, Health and Wellness director Roberto Santiago said. Zumba is one
great option, because it not only provides
great music and dance routines that are
fun to learn, it is proven to help maintain cognitive skills. Its also a great cardio
workout, incorporating a series of higher
and lower aerobic intervals throughout
the session. Our goal is to help people
find appealing workouts so they stay motivated. And that is why we offer free, opento-the-community events several times of
the year, like our Zumba Fitness Party.
For more information, call Roberto
Santiago at (201) 408-1481, email him at
rsantiago@jccotp.org, or go to jccotp.org/
registered-group-exercise.

SERGEY BERMENIEV

Annual seforim (book) sale at YU


Yeshiva Universitys students present
the 30th annual Seforim Sale, North
Americas largest Jewish book sale,
February 5-26, in Belfer Hall, 2495
Amsterdam Ave. on YUs Wilf Campus in Manhattan. YU students run
the sale completely, doing everything
from ordering supplies to setting up
the premises, doing the marketing, and
working with all the technology the
project entails.
Last years sale drew more than
15,000 people from the tristate area
and grossed nearly $1 million. The sale
offers discounts on the latest of more
than 12,500 titles in rabbinic and academic literature, cookbooks, childrens
books, music and Judaica.
The sale, a highlight for the YU community, brings students, alumni, and
members of the community to the campus. Proceeds support various initiatives, including student activities on
campus and undergraduate scholarships. This years theme is Technology

Browsers at a previous YU seforim sale.



COURTESY YU

and Torah; events, speakers, and programming scheduled throughout the


sale will focus on the ways technological
innovations can enhance Torah learning
for the modern Jew.
Seforim Sales website, www.theseforimsale.com, provides consumers
with another way to take advantage of
the sale.

Across
1. Passover needs, once
6. ___ for Aaron
9. Einstein, e.g.
14. Like a good IDF soldier
15. Airer of Wyles The Librarians
16. Tail (off), like Shabbat
17. See 68-Across
19. Like Kermes oak leaves
20. Migdal Ha___
21. Actor/comic known for lewd material
23. Williamsburg time zone, Abbr.
25. Party that ended in 2008, Abbr.
26. Judaic cries
27. Major 19th century rabbi
33. Mo. of Simchat Torah, often
34. Cookie whose dairyness is debated
35. Start of a Kach slogan
39. Naamahs husband (Genesis Rabba
23.3)
41. Israeli elder
44. Not a chacham
45. Black in Inside Out
47. NBA team near several Jewish neighborhoods
49. St. where Kunis That 70s Show
was set
50. Major 19th century rabbi
54. Leaders of Lev and Likud?
57. ___-jongg (game played by many
JCC seniors)
58. Netanyahus Japanese counterpart
Shinzo
59. Actor/comic known for lewd material
63. Start of Pesach?
67. Valuable item for Perlman or Ben-Ari,
for short
68. With 17-Across, one way to expedite
business...or a hint to solving 21, 27,
50, & 59-Across
70. Company that uses aloe
71. Biblical palindrome
72. Memorable Mandy (Patinkin) role
73. Country that forcibly converted
Jewish orphans in the 20th century
74. Son of Solo
75. Need for brick building, in Exodus

The solution to last weeks puzzle is


on page 56.

Down
1. Gown trim for a Kallah
2. Touro grad.
3. ...but I will ___ out their portion...
(Hosea 1:6)
4. Wall Streets Jordan Belfort, e.g.
5. Rugrats dad
6. Letters on a (tzedakah) envelope
7. Preferred way to watch The
Goldbergs
8. Targets during Selichot
9. Possible cholent cooker
10. Cohn who went Walking in
Memphis
11. Ohno who wowed Len Goodman on
Dancing with the Stars
12. Repeat (a blessing)
13. Long shots, for Casspi
18. Latkes need, in slang
22. Bit of energy for Bohr
24. Start of Brazils largest Jewish community?
27. He was in a big dag
28. Simon or Streisand
29. Man without a shiduch
30. Actress Michele
31. Lithuanian ghetto
32. He brought Homer to Israel
36. Kol Nidre target
37. The history of the Jewish people
38. Its equal to 200
40. All the forefathers
42. Sons of Benjamin
43. Like Shabbat on Friday afternoon
46. Fast observed by some Israelis
48. Eliab to King Dave
51. Apple theres no bracha for
52. Shabbat preceder?
53. Observe Yom Kippur
54. Piece by Nora Ephron
55. Tool to make a wooden mezuzah
56. Oof mipoh!
60. Be blessed
61. There would be no Land of (Milk
and) Honey without one
62. Its guarded by a flaming sword, in
the Bible
64. Peretz of the Labor Party
65. The Indiana Jones movies, e.g.
66. Resurrected John on Weiss &
Benioffs hit show
69. Fleur-de- ___ (symbol some believe
to have Jewish origins)

JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017 51

Jewish World

Obituaries

Israels Argentinian Jews honor


Alberto Nisman, demand justice

Steven Baer

Ghelman said his mother,


Dora, was nearly killed when the
NAHARIYA, Israel On the morning
bomb ripped the facade off her
of July 18, 1994, Hana Cohen headed
apartments master bedroom
from her apartment to the nearby
across the street. She was folding
AMIA Jewish center in Buenos Aires
laundry in another bedroom.
to run an errand. Edith Szerman
For five years in the mid-1950s,
Kogos walked to a bank a few blocks
Ghelman trained at AMIA to
away. Jose Caro shopped in a store.
become a Hebrew teacher.
The boom of an explosion interAnother American from Buerupted their activities, piercing the
nos Aires, Los Angeles plastic surgeon Daniel Dunkelman, funded
hubbub of daily life in the Argentinian capital and destroying the buildthe sculpture. He did so, Dunkeling housing the Argentine Israelite
man explained by email, to protest the lack of justice, the lack
Mutual Association. The blast killed
of moral integrity and ethical val85 people.
For Cohen, Kogos, Caro, and
ues that prevails back home.
other Argentinian Jews who now
The lack of justice in the officially unsolved deaths of Nislive in Israel, attending last weeks
man, the AMIA victims, and the
dedication here of a sculpture
29 people killed in the bombing
memorializing the AMIA victims
of Israels Buenos Aires embassy
and the man who died while investigating the bombing, Alberto Nisin 1992 leaves Dunkelman in
man, was personal. Within minutes
despair. The so-far worthless
of the explosion, the trio arrived
pursuit of justice makes it impossible to ignore by any decent
onsite. All had been in AMIA scores
human being, Dunkelman said.
of times and knew some of the dead
This sculpture, by Israel Ghelman is the focal
In March 2016, the Buenos
and wounded.
point of a memorial in Nahariya, Israel, for the
The gathering at an arts center in
Aires Criminal Appeals court
AMIA bombing victims and prosecutor Alberto
this northern coastal city came on
ruled that the probe into NisNisman.
HILLEL KUTTLER
mans death must be heard in
the second anniversary of Nismans
federal court. No official cause
death. It attracted approximately
of death has been determined yet. And
200 people, nearly all immigrants from
to wait until the judicial [system] takes a
in December, an appeals court in Buenos
Argentina and other South American
decision, Jorquera said before the dedication. We only want clarification of the
Aires cleared the path to a criminal probe
countries. Many expressed anger and
situation, an advance in the investigation,
into Kirchners motives in cooperating
skepticism toward the corruption they
and peace in our country.
with Iran on the AMIA investigation.
believe taints their native lands political
In the art centers courtyard here,
To Caro, peace will come when Argensystem and makes solving crimes like the
tina brings the truth to light.
others acknowledged the comfortable
AMIA bombing unlikely.
Im very angry with the country, said
lives, professional attainments, and
Nisman, the bombings investigating
Caro, an insurance agent who heads the
social standing of many Jews in Argenprosecutor, had just released a report
tina, and bemoaned the prevailing
Raanana branch of an Israeli organization
accusing Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner, who was president of Argentina duranti-Semitism and corruption. The two
of Latin American immigrants. If those
ing Nismans tenure, and her associates
bombings and Nismans demise have
responsible arent sent to jail, therell be
of whitewashing Irans role in the bombsoured some on their homeland. All
no future for the country.
ing. According to Nisman, the cover-up
consider him a hero.
Five years after the AMIA bombing,
Its important for the world to know
was part of the presidents plan to trade
Caro, his wife, and their four children
that things like this happened in ArgenArgentinian grain for Iranian oil.
moved to Israel. His parents and sister
tina, and it cant be that we still dont
Hours before his scheduled appearcame soon thereafter. The AMIA bombance in parliament to discuss those finding, Caro said, led him to conclude, Im
know the truth [of Nismans death] after
ings, Nisman, who was Jewish, was found
out of here.
two years, Israel Horowitz said. Horowitz, the rabbi of a Conservative congredead at home of a gunshot wound. The
The steel sculpture was unveiled in
gation here, is from Buenos Aires. We
cause of death has been given both as suiNahariya, home to several thousand of
cide and as murder.
want there to be justice.
the estimated 80,000 Argentinian Jews
Wednesdays attendees dismissed the
Caro said he has no interest in viswho live in Israel. It shows a broken Star
iting Argentina again. Cohen looks foridea of suicide. When the master of cerof David from whose bent bar hangs half
emonies mentioned that the anniversary
ward to seeing relatives there, but has
of an imbalanced scale. An exposed slice
marked two years since Nisman died,
stopped following the countrys news.
of the aluminum base reveals a building
several audience members called out,
Kogos said shes a proud Israeli, but
rod encased in cement.
He was murdered.
didnt use the adjective in calling herself
Conceptually, it says everything, its
Asked whether he thought his governan Argentinian.
sculptor, Israel Ghelman, said. Ghelman
ment was involved in the AMIA bombing
I know justice will not be done,
lives in Florida but he is from from Buenos Aires. The Star of David is not only
or in Nismans death, Gabriel Jorquera,
Kogos said. Its infantile to think otherwise. Driving an hour from her home in
broken but distorted because it resulted
the deputy head of Argentinas embassy
Migdal Haemek to remember the victims,
in a Jewish community in distress. There
in Israel, demurred.
she added, is like a scream a scream in
is no justice. The broken pedestal is a
I cannot say that. I cant say anything
JTA WIRE SERVICE
the quiet.
reminder of the building,
until the investigation is done. We have

HILLEL KUTTLER

52 JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017

Steven N. Baer, 72, of Fair Lawn,


formerly of Washington Heights, died
January 18.
Before retiring, he owned Westfield
Drug & Surgical and worked at Corby
Chemists in New York City. He served
in the U.S. Air Force Reserves and was
a member of Temple Beth Sholom in
Fair Lawn and a former member of the
Fair Lawn Jewish Center.
He is survived by his wife, Fern,
ne Drucker, children, Amy Wolchok
(Seth), and Michelle Isachsen, and two
grandchildren.
Donations can be made to the
American Diabetes Association.
Arrangements were by Louis Suburban
Chapel, Fair Lawn.

Rabbi Stanley Bramnick

Rabbi Stanley Bramnick, 85, of


Teaneck died on January 14.
Born in Brooklyn, he served as a
chaplain in the U.S. Army, spiritual
leader of Congregation Bnai Israel
of Fair Lawn for 30 years, and at the
Jewish Center of Teaneck, and was
director of administration for the
Ramah Day Camp in Nyack and the
National Ramah Commission.
He is survived by his wife, Helen,
children Arnold and Elliot, and
grandchildren Shira Macagon, Josh,
Jessica, and Ally.
Arrangements were by Robert
Schoems Menorah Chapel, Paramus.

Stanley Cord

Stanley H. Cord, of River Vale, formerly


of White Plains, died January 3.
An Army World War II veteran, he
worked with his wife in the familys
mens clothing business in White
Plains.
Predeceased by his wife of 71 years,
Ruth, he is survived by children, Paul
( Janet), Larry (Carlene), Arline Frankel
(Herb), and Ellen Dember (Andrew); a
brother, Steven; nine grandchildren,
and two great-grandchildren.
Donations can be made to the
Employee Holiday Fund at Jewish
Home for Assisted Living, River Vale.
Arrangements were by Louis Suburban
Chapel, Fair Lawn.

Fred Rosenberg

Fred Rosenberg, 93, formerly of Fort


Lee, Woodcliff Lake, and Teaneck, and
originally from Hudson County, died
December 28.
He was a former member of Young
Israel of Fort Lee and Temple Emanuel
in Woodcliff Lake.
Predeceased by his wife, Betty, he is
survived by his children, Bernard and
Esta, and three grandchildren.
Arrangements were by Gutterman
Musicant Jewish Funeral Directors,
Hackensack.

Obituaries
Bernard Turner

Bernard Turner, 88, formerly of


Cresskill, died January 23.
He was a 24-year member and
president of the Cresskill Board
of Education and a partner in
the accounting/law firm of Joel E
Sammet & Company in New York
City until he retired at 80. He was
also a long-time trustee of numerous
philanthropic organizations.
Predeceased by his wife, Joyce,
he is survived by his children,

Caren, and Stuart (Cynthia), and


grandchildren, Hallie Fishman, Kelly
and Alex Lincoln, Michelle Turner,
Nathan Fishman, and Matthew
Turner.
Arrangements were by Gutterman
Musicant Jewish Funeral Directors,
Hackensack.

Morris Weinstein

Morris Weinstein, 96, of Teaneck,


formerly of Monroe Township and
Leonia, died January 15.

He was a member of the


Workmens Circle in New York City.
Before retiring, he owned Courtesy
Answering Service in Union City and
Weinsteins Italian American Grocery
in Brooklyn.
He is survived by his wife, Shirley,
ne Levine, children, Lori, Neil, and
Dr. David, and three grandchildren.
Arrangements were by Eden
Memorial Chapels, Fort Lee.

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Always within a familys financial means

13-01 Broadway (Route 4 West) Fair Lawn, NJ


Richard Louis - Manager
George Louis - Founder
NJ Lic. No. 3088
1924-1996

Obituaries are prepared with


information provided by funeral homes.
Correcting errors is the responsibility
of the funeral home.

Goldie Veiser
Goldie Veiser was a physician in Europe who survived the Holocaust. With her arrival to America,
she was welcomed to a free and safe world but unfortunately had to give up her profession due to
educational requirements and to raise her family.
Ultimately, Goldie became an ardent, respected,
capable, and loyal volunteer at The Arnold P. Gold
Foundation, taking on any job with dedication,
from stuffing envelopes to sophisticated projects.
For years, she came to the office on a regular basis
without fail at her appointed days, as well as, at a
moments notice to take care of unexpected needs.
Goldie was an ambassador in the community, telling
friends and neighbors about The Gold Foundation
and its mission. She took pride in her association
with the foundation, and was deeply proud of her
family and of her granddaughter, Sarah, becoming
a physician. We were pleased and grateful to have
had Goldies good heart and intelligence in the service of promoting humanism in medicine, and she
will greatly be missed. All of the Trustees and Staff
members at The Arnold P. Gold Foundation offer
our sincere condolences to the entire Veiser family.
Paid Obituary

Robert Schoems Menorah Chapel, Inc


Jewish Funeral Directors

Family Owned & managed


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Prepaid & Preneed Planning
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Gary Schoem Manager - NJ Lic. 3811

We continue to be
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201.843.9090

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317 Totowa Ave.
973-942-0727 Fax 973-942-2537

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Barry Wien - NJ Lic. No. 2885


Frank Patti, Jr. - NJ Lic. No. 4169
Arthur Musicant - NJ Lic. No. 2544
Frank Patti, Sr. Director - NJ Lic. No. 2693

ALAN L. MUSICANT

MARTIN D. KASDAN

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Advance Planning Conferences Conveniently Arranged
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327 Main St, Fort Lee, NJ

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www.thejewishstandard.com
JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017 53

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caregiver with 7 years experience looking for live-out position.


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for position as Caregiver/Companion. Overnight Mon-Fri.
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or live-in. Reliable! Good references! Speaks English! Call 732-5036425
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our lives. Whether formally retired or still active in the workplace, this is a chance to make
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Meetings are the last Wednesday of the month at 5:30 pm,
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Shomer Shabbos
54 Jewish Standard JANUARY 27, 2017

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Classified
legAls

Solution to last weeks puzzle. This weeks puzzle is


on page 51.

The Family court in Petah Tikvah Israel:


1233-12-16
About: Shlomo Zalman Eizen
ID number: 217557482
Plaintiff: Nachama Goldberg
Lawyer of the case: Chanitai Eligon
Address:
Habanim 23 Kfar Azaar
Ramat Gan. Israel 5590500
Phone:036351680
Phone:0524226626
Fax:035608065
Against Defendant: Shalom Eizen
ID: 301593778
Israeli citizen and resident in the United States at
an unknown address.

PARTY
PLANNER
Jewish Music with an Edge
Ari Greene 201-837-6158
AGreene@BaRockorchestra.com
www.BaRockOrchestra.com

Invitation to discuss:
Defendant: Shalom Eizen
The plaintiff filed this lawsuit to court against
you as detailed in the enclosed letter. You are
invited to submit a statement of defense within
90 days from the date you received this order.
Otherwise the plaintiff shall have the right
to receive a verdict. All the papers with the
information will be available at the main Jewish
community office whose address is:
Beth din of America
305 Seventh Avenue
12th Floor
New York, New York, 10001-6008
rooFing
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201-837-8818
Jewish standard JanUarY 27, 2017 55

Gallery
1

4
5

n 1 Seventh graders in the Howard and


Joshua Herman Education Center at the
Fair Lawn Jewish Center/CBI worked
with residents of a house run by the
Jewish Association for Developmental Disabilities. They decorated flower
pots for Tu BShevat, the Jewish New
Year for trees. Courtesy FLJC and J-ADD
n 2 More than 100 people attended a concert by the Jazz Passengers at Temple
Beth El of Northern Valley in Closter. The
concert was sponsored by Whole Foods
Market. This was the groups debut concert
in the new series MusicLAB, Live at Beth
El. Roy Nathanson and Curtis Fowlkes of
the group are pictured. Melchior DiGiacomo
n 3 Young students at Shomrei Torah in Wayne learned to set a Shabbat table and braid challah using
Play Doh. Courtesy Shomrei Torah
n 4 Children in the 4s class in the early
childhood program at Temple Emanuel
of the Pascack Valley celebrate Shabbat with their moms. Courtesy TEPV
n 5 NFTY, the Jewish Reform movements teen youth group, came to
Temple Beth Tikvah in Waynes religious
school to introduce programs to 8th
through 12th graders. Courtesy TBT
n 6 Temple Emeth in Teaneck held a One
Book One Community Shabbaton as part of
the Jewish Federation of Northern New Jerseys annual program. This years selection
is Let There Be Water by Seth M Siegel.
Shahar Sadeh of Columbia University, center, spoke about Israels water policy and
its implications for regional security. She is
shown with Jocelyn Inglis, left, the director
of the Northern New Jersey Jewish National
Fund and a member of Temple Emeth,
and Rabbi Steven Sirbu. Barbara Balkin

56 Jewish Standard JANUARY 27, 2017

Real Estate & Business

Warming up with elegant wines


Dont let winter chill the enjoyment possibilities

he winter is a time when we enjoy reading a good


book or listening to some nice relaxing music in
the comforting warmth of our homes preferably
near the fireplace, for those of us who are lucky to
have one. The winter is also a great time to indulge and sip
some full-bodied, concentrated wines while doing any of the
aforementioned activities. Some wines are so elegant and rich
that they bring a smile of satisfaction and ease the atmosphere
while discussing politics with our spouse, family, or friends.
The Flam Reserve Merlot is a rich, complex, and refined
wine from Israel, made by the world-class winemaker Golan
Flam. This wine is full of flavors of ripe blueberries and plums
as well as earthy notes, with good acidity and hints of dark
chocolate that linger on the long finish. This is the type of wine
that would pair perfectly alongside a seared duck breast in a
blackberry sauce with sauted green beans.
For those who prefer something a bit lighter, the Herzog
Russian River Chardonnay never disappoints. This remarkable white wine from Sonoma in California highlights the
savory notes of a veal roulade in a creamy mushroom sauce
with class and elegance. The slightly oily texture of this wine
with sublime notes of Granny Smith apple as well as hints of

Open houses
scheduled at two
Brightview facilities
Brightview Tenafly, a senior living community in
Tenafly, will host an open house on Saturday, January 28, from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m.
Brightview Paramus, located in Paramus, will
host an open house on Sunday, January 29, from
11 a.m. to 3 p.m.
A lifestyle unlike any other awaits residents
and their families at Brightview Tenafly, said Toni
Musto, executive director of the facility. Theres
never a dull moment sharing meals with friends,
enjoying live entertainment, social hours, favorite
hobbies, outings, and more.
At Brightview Paramus, executive director Stephen Nichols said: We invite the community to
experience what others have already seen: Brightview Paramus offers something no one else does.
Residents make the most of each day.
Located at 55 Hudson Ave., Brightview Tenafly
features assisted living apartment homes as well as
Wellspring Village, Brightviews specially designed
neighborhood where people with dementia live
full, engaged, and meaningful lives.
In addition to assisted living and Wellspring Village,
Brightview Paramus also includes independent living.
The community is located at 396 Forest Ave.
The events are free and open to the public.
To RSVP for the open house at Brightview Tenafly
or for more information about the community, call
Shannon or Richard at (201) 982-7834.
To RSVP for the open house at Brightview Paramus or for more information about the community,
please call Gina or Cindy at (201)331-6768.
Brightview Senior Living and its parent company, The Shelter Group, successfully create and
manage innovative senior living communities in
the mid-Atlantic to New England region. For more
information visit www.brightviewseniorliving.com

roasted almonds is also perfect with roasted chicken


and crispy rice.
Chteau Haut Condissas is the overachiever of
Bordeaux. While not a member of the exclusive
club of the great growths from the 1855 classification
instituted by Emperor Napoleon and his regime, it
impresses professional tasters and critics year in and
year out, outperforming many of those Grands Crus
Classs in blind tastings. This gorgeous wine can age
for well over a decade from the harvest and develops
hints of smoke, freshly turned earth, and ripe strawberries, perfect while listening to the Fifth Symphony
of Beethoven or the latest hit of Avraham Fried.
Spicy food is quite warming too, especially Indian
food, and thus perfect for a cold winter night dinner.
Wines made with the Syrah/Shiraz varieties are growing in
popularity as being surprising yet delicious with such dishes.
For instance, the Binyamina Reserve Shiraz tastes amazing
with a plate of lamb vindaloo, the black fruit flavors and spicy
notes giving additional flavor to the gamey and juicy characteristics of this traditional Indian dish.
While watching the snow falling quietly on the front lawn

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through the window, a glass of Porto Cordovero is a treat with


hot chocolate, brownies, and fresh raspberries. You wont
even think about the summer while sipping it, comfortably
wrapped in a cuddly and soft blanket on your couch. Stay
warm! Lchaim!
Gabriel Geller is a consultant for Royal Wine

OPEN HOUSES

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Larry DeNike
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www.thejewishstandard.com
JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017 57

Real Estate & Business

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NVE-3312 Warmth Mortgage Ad 5x6.5_NVE-3305 Warmth Mortgage Ad 5x6.5 1/13/17 10:49 AM Page 1

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2017 Coldwell Banker Real Estate LLC. Coldwell Banker is a registered trademark licensed to Coldwell Banker Real Estate LLC.
An Equal Opportunity Company. Equal Housing Opportunity. Owned and Operated by NRT LLC.

FRIEDBERG

TM

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Congratulations to our
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Sales Representative
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Phyllis Buonomo
Broker-Salesperson
Cresskill Office

Eileen Campbell
Sales Representative
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Maria Falcone

Nicole Idler

Sales Representative
Englewood Cliffs Office

Sales Representative
Tenafly Office

Skip Kelley

Sales Representative
River Vale Office

Gabrielle Kemavor
Sales Representative
Englewood Cliffs Office

Miriam Lambert
Sales Representative
Alpine Office

*APR = Annual Percentage Rate. APR is accurate as of 1/12/17 and may vary based on loan amounts. Loans are
for 1-4 family New Jersey owner-occupied properties only. Rates and terms are subject to change without
notice. As an example, the 7-year loan at the stated APR would have 84 monthly payments of $13.05 per
thousand borrowed based on a 20% down payment or equity for loan amounts up to $500,000. Payments
do not include amounts for taxes and insurance premiums, if applicable. The actual payment obligation will
be greater. Property insurance is required. Other rates and terms are available. Subject to credit approval.

Bergenfield I Closter I Cresskill I Englewood I Hillsdale I Leonia I New Milford I Teaneck I Tenafly

Nana Landi

Sales Representative
Alpine Office

Michelle Shim

Sales Representative
Englewood Cliffs Office

Travis Waller

Sales Representative
Englewood Cliffs Office

Nini Wong

Sales Representative
Tenafly Office

Dana Yehuda

Sales Representative
Tenafly Office

www.friedbergproperties.com

768-6868

ALPINE/CLOSTER

871-0800 666-0777
CRESSKILL

RIVER VALE

58 JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017

568-1818

ENGLEWOOD CLIFFS

894-1234
TENAFLY

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Youre one click away from the most
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Ruth Miron-Schleider
Broker/Owner
MIRON PROPERTIES
ENGLEWOOD

ENGLEWOOD

Great 1st floor 2 BR/2 BTH w/W&D. $485,000

TENAFLY

RO T
OS HE
EV
EL
T

CO UND
NT ER
RA
CT

ENGLEWOOD

ENGLEWOOD

Old world charm. Deep lot. Centrally located.

Charming brick Colonial $1,099,999/$7,500

Exquisitely renov. 6 BR Victorian. $1,068,000

TENAFLY

TENAFLY

TENAFLY

J
SO UST
LD
!

P
AR RIM
EA E
!

R
PU O ENT
RC R
HA
SE
!

SO

CO
SO MIN
ON G
!

LD

SO

LD

Gorgeous 6 BR/4.5 BTH Colonial.

Brilliantly upgraded contemp. 1 acre. $1,450,000

Storybook East Hill cape. Totally upgraded.

Beautiful sprawling Ranch on a cul-de-sac.

PARAMUS

PARAMUS

TEANECK

TEANECK

SO

LD

SO

LD

SO

LD

SO

LD

Spectacular custom built new construction.

Gorgeous 5 BR/4.5 BTH brick front Colonial.

Expanded Colonial. State-of-the-art kitchen.

3 BR Tudor. Old world charm. Ideal loc.

CLOSTER

CLOSTER

DEMAREST

ENGLEWOOD CLIFFS

SO

LD

SO

LD

All brick 6 BR/5.5 BTH Center Hall Colonial.

WESTWOOD

FORT LEE

OP U
PO NIQ
RT UE
UN
ITY

Lovely split-level w/lg home office. $524,900

LD

Magnificent 6 BR/4 BTH East Hill Colonial.

RE OFF
CE ER
IV S
ED
!

NORTHBRIDGE PARK. Fab 3 BR corner unit.

SO

CO EX
NS QU
TR ISI
UC TE
TIO
N!

Fabulous new construction. Prime E.H. area. Contemp. 5 BR/4.5 BTH. North Cliffs $2,233,000

FORT LEE

FORT LEE

SO

LD

SO

LD

THE COLONY. Gorgeous 3 BR unit w/views. THE PLAZA. Spacious 2 BR/2.5 BTH corner unit.

Contact us today for your complimentary consultation!


T: 201.266.8555 M: 201.906.6024
Ruth@MironProperties.com
www.MironProperties.com/NJ
JEWISH STANDARD JANUARY 27, 2017 59

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