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The Celestial Interpretation Handbook

by TM Duplantis
When viewed with the untrained eye, the uncountable stars and
planets that fill our night sky may seem cold and inscrutable; yet, it is
an absolute certainty that somewhere in our field of vision, life is
working to reach out to us. The cosmos may be vast, but it is not
uncaring. With this celestial interpretation handbook, you will learn
the latest methods of parsing messages from outside our sphere, and
the techniques necessary to respond to our neighbors in kind.
Across the millennia, generations of inquisitive scientists and
engineers worked tirelessly to provide the human species a plethora of
instruments designed to enhance our knowledge of the figures that lie
beyond the scope of our understanding. Their collective contribution
to the advancement of astronomical thought cannot be overstated.
This handbook, however, can be used on its own without any
extraneous aids: when provided with a clear line of sight to the
heavens, it is possible to detect celestial evidence to decipher
unspoken signals by carefully analyzing your surroundings with the
naked eye.
If you wish, you can listen to any astronomical body of your
choosing; yet, be aware that although most stars visible to the naked
eye are likely to contain intelligent and communicative extraterrestrial
life, messages may become distorted along their journey and cannot

always be properly deciphered. Efficient and meaningful contact

requires a level of familiarity with the star of your choosing that comes
with regular observation and appropriately empathetic response.
Therefore, before attempting to initiate true contact, you must
cultivate a relationship with your chosen star. Pay close attention to
the way your star shimmers as its light enters our atmosphere. Trace
the path of its journey across the sky. Ask the star how it burns
tonight, and ask it of the civilizations that have come and gone
beneath its light. Although at this stage it is unlikely the beings around
your star will receive the messages you send, a proper relationship
cannot form unless both parties are open to truly speak and to truly
The galactic standard means of visceral emotional communication
between star systems is via luminescent coincidence broadcast:
messages are encoded via tachyon encryption to follow the course of a
star's visible radiation until it reaches a sufficiently large surface, at
which point the data is decoded by coincidental sonic disturbances
brief rustlings and subtle movements across the immediate vicinity of
the message's recipient. Due to the near-infinite number of signals
reaching our planet's surface at any given moment, the superposition
of luminescent coincidences largely results in their canceling each
other out, making easily noticeable coincidence markers relatively rare
for most messages (except, perhaps, for the gravest of emergency
Amplifying a message of coincidence markers is a difficult task that
requires an immense level of concentration from all parties involved.
Your own self cannot be effectively used as a conduit for coincidental
sonic disturbances, as the mental feedback loop of both sending and
receiving such a complex signal inevitably reduces any viable
information into noise. For the absolute best results, it is
recommended to listen for luminescent coincidence alongside
another being doing the same. This can be any lifeform, so long as it
is one with which you share a deep connection.

To initiate communication, find a location with a clear view to the

heavens and a penchant for stillness. Share your star with your
partner: tell them why you chose it and what it means to you.
Concentrate on the light of the star: search for patterns in the way that
it flickers. Note when a flicker of light corresponds directly with a
sound near you. While focusing on your task, consider these topics in

Consider the distance between yourself and the star system.

Consider the journey the light has taken to reach your eyes.
Consider what lies unseen between the source of the light and its destination.
Consider the distance between yourself and your partner.
Consider the journey each of you has taken to reach each other.
Consider what lies unseen between the source of yourselves and your destinations.

Once the signal is complete, confer with your partner on your