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MOUNTAIN OF DOOM:
A Love Story
~e.theis 2016
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Mountain of Doom: A Love Story by ~e.theis
Approx 20,000 words

Eric Theis
3902 Paus St. Madison, WI 53714
Phone (608) 212-2080
etheis@uwmalumni.com
Edited by K.Titan
To my Love,
Dedicated to our many adventures battling monsters and middle schoolers.
~e
Romance takes place in the middle distance. Romance is looking in at yourself through a
window clouded with dew. Romance means leaving things out: where life grunts and
shuffles, romance only sighs.
Margaret Atwood
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Chapter One: Survival
Derek rises from his knees. Barely. His feet are swollen and spent. He hobbles
around the peak of this ghastly mountain scanning between sugar maples and boulders for
his girlfriend Jody. Then he finds her. Still. Unbreathing.
He narrows his eyes, curls his lips, and rhythmically puffs his chest like a stalling
Cessna preparing for take off. The SabreDon towering over him, revealing knife-sized teeth
between wool and tusks, appears to smile, as if breaking character. How unprofessional.
Gems of red juices trickle down the incisors of this Sabre-Toothed Tiger/Mastodon
hybrid; and as it savors its snack (a chunk of Jodys left leg, which was her favorite leg by
the way), Derek tightens his grasp on the splintered spear he fashioned when they escaped
The Lab some days ago. With no time for fear, he jabs the spear into the fore-belly of the
preoccupied mammoth.
At first nothing happens. Then, perhaps beckoned by the yowl of the SabreDon, a
strange bird flies into view, its colossal silhouette blocks the rising sun. The soaring
monstrosity seems to be an amalgam between an owl and pterodactyl. It lands its
russet-feathered tail and scaly claws on the canopy of a nearby maple. The giant bird
distracts the SabreDon long enough for Derek to retract the makeshift sword from its belly.
After another glimpse at his darlings limp body, Derek rams the spear deeper into the
monsters unguarded torso.
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Without warning, the Pterodact-Owl swoops off its alpine perch and pecks its
skateboard-sized-beak at Dereks face-sized face. Blood-curdling screams race from his
mouth, arousing Jody.
Shes alive!
Jodys head jerks toward her beloved. She is immobilized but desperately reaches
for a nearby rock and hurls it at the Pterodact-Owls massive crown. She never played a
game of baseball in her life. Even during gym class she barely participated in attendance.
But that was back when they went to school. Back when anyone went to school. Back when
monsters were still safe in their prisons.
Therefore, because of Jodys lack of athleticism, the chunk of hurled quartzite
misses both the flying beast and the two-ton-monster. However, inspired by her knack for
knitting, a skill her loving fifth grade teacher taught her, she grabs two twigs, rips out her
shoelace and crafts a poor mans slingshot.
***
Forty-five minutes later Jody squeals with delight, I GOT IT!
To which Derek, who just returned from a harrowing pursuit redirecting these
prehistoric beasts back down the mountain says, Umgreat job, my love!
And for what seems like an eternity, the young lovers, only 14 years old but so close
to death, hold one another tight, as if they just single-handedly saved the entire human race.
Or released two prehistoric hybrid monsters on an unsuspecting world.
Either way, they have each other
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Chapter Two: The Doctor
The two lovebirds havent spent much time basking in their newfound R&R when
they hear a baby neigh, or purr, or whatever it is infants do.
Do you hear that? asks Jody sleepily.
Oh, youre just imagining that. Theres no way a baby could be all the way up on
this mountain, assures Derek.
The young lovers look at each other with grave concern. Jody stands first, then
nudges Dereks hip with her left boot, signaling him to get moving as well.
Your leg! Derek exclaims, expecting her to wince in pain, but she neither winces
nor flinches. The gash where the SabreDon nibbled is healed. Miraculously.
How did it Derek begins.
I dont know, Jody finishes, but it doesnt hurt, either.
Neither notice a Pterodact-Owls feather resting close to where they just slept.
Derek gathers the hunk of rubbery cheddar and stale bread from last nights dinner.
You arent planning on eating that, are you?
No! Thats disgusting! Derek turns to spit out the bite he already snuck.
Jody notices and shakes her head. Lets go find that baby, she declares.
They survey the morning woods and spy a white coat hunched over a crying infant.
THE DOCTOR! they exclaim in unison.
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Chapter Three: The Laboratory
Derek is about to scream to The Doctor when Jody cups her hand over his mouth.
She gestures to a nearby set of oak trees where they hide while The Doctor finishes his
evil-doing: stealing babies and such.
What are we going to do!? Derek hollers a bit too loudly.
Would you be quiet! Jody reminds him. Look, there has to be a simple
explanation to this. Maybe somebody abandoned the baby and The Doctor is going to take
it to the police or something.
He didnt look like he was taking the baby anywhere except
Derek doesnt finish his thought, but Jody knows.
We have to follow him.
They peer around the oak grove expecting to see The Doctors unkempt, Dungeon
& Dragons inspired ponytail, but he is gone. Scarlet specked lab coat and all.
***
Jody and Derek know where The Doctor took that poor baby. They dont want to
discuss what sort of experiments he might be doing to it on his operating tables, so it is a
quiet hike until they reach The Doctors Laboratory - the laboratory they know too well.
The building stands as a natural piece of the landscape, if you consider a reinforced
cement bunker that plunges three stories into the earth natural. There are no windows, no
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ornate walkways, and no architectural masterpieces. The Laboratory was designed with one
goal in mind: science. And secrecy. Okay, thats two goals. But Jody and Derek know more
than most about this clandestine fortress - indeed, they know more than they wish.
Doctor, release that baby! demands Jody, bursting through the Lab doors.
We saw you steal him from the woods! joins Derek.
The Doctor cackles. Oh ho ho. Dont be ridiculous, my dear assistants. The baby is
safe here in the Chamber Room. You are welcome to see. I am in the middle of checking its
vitals to ensure it is in good health.
You mean experimenting on it! Im sorry, Doctor. Were calling the police.
Jody pulls out her phone when suddenly Derek slaps it to the ground, breaking it.
What the heck are you doing, Derek? Jody screams.
A vacant look rolls over Dereks river-blue eyes.
Whats this? The Doctor cuts in. The tween sweethearts having a spat?
Whats going on? Whats wrong with Derek? And were not tweens! Were
teenagers and we know what youre up to. Wh-what have you done to my boyfriend?!
Jody kneels at Dereks feet and whimpers quietly.
Young love. Ugh! You two make me sick to my stomach! No. Wait. Thats
probably the gyro I had for dinner last night. The Doctor rubs his belly in pain. Still, your
sappy romance makes my head spin! The Doctor places his palms against his temples as a
sort of vice to stop the room from twirling. No, no. Thats probably the paint fumes. I just
touched up the Laboratory Lavatory. Wanna see?! The Doctor eagerly hops a beat or two,
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awaiting her response. I was SO sick of looking at that DREADFUL pea green every time
I used the restroom.
The Doctor seats himself at one of his plush red velvet sofas, a bit exhausted from
his rant. He used to be able to rant much better, back in the old days, but a good rant is hard
to muster nowadays.
I love Derek. And he loves me! What have you done to him! Jody lunges for The
Doctors lapels but then starts feeling a bit woozy herself.
Paint fumes? she asks The Doctor.
Afraid not, child.
And the two teens topple on each other like chicks nesting for nightfall.
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Chapter Four: Universal Health Care
Jody untangles her shoulder-length flaxen hair and finds she in a blinding white
room, padded with cushiony walls. Alone. The floor is checkered in black and white, not
unlike a chessboard, where every tile is clearly lit.
Above her, the ceiling is glass. She can see Derek up there assisting The Doctor
with some sort of procedure. He must be in a trance. This can be the only explanation. A
slab of flesh tumbles off the operating table and plops onto Jodys glass ceiling.
A lions tail.
It wiggles a few seconds and then lies as still as a length of discarded rope.
Jody strains her neck to see the operating table. The Doctor is carefully carving into
the torso of a horse, a sawz-all in one hand, and a pomegranate in the other.
Him and his stupid pomegranates Jody mumbles, part in spite, part in terror.
The Doctor never used to perform these sorts of experiments. But since the rise of
Altnu Global, few people had choices
Altnu Global used to be just Altnu, a leading health insurance company in the U.S.
Now it is the only one. This Super Insurance has decidedly stomped out all competition in
this market, so much for Market Capitalism.
They are a shrewd and cutthroat company (or maybe you figured that out already).
At first they bought all the smaller, regional insurance providers. Then, over the course of a
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few short years, they quietly strong-armed the remaining insurers in the field. The result:
monopolized prices and mandated premiums. This is a fancy way of saying people are now
forced to pay too much for health insurance that really sucks.
There was a nationwide rift in President Barack Obamas first term over Universal
Health Care. It started with the idea of providing high quality insurance for all people at no
cost, something that works well in Canada and Europe. However, this was apparently too
Socialist for the uber-wealthy health insurance CEOs and the politicians they control.
So, as soon as Altnu became the only game in town, they decided it was best to
require all Americans to be insured, for the safety and health of our country all for the
low cost of 90% of their income. Thats reasonable, isnt it?
At first politicians tried to defend the foresight of this mandate, saying it was a
worthwhile expense to staying healthy, but it wasnt long before health care became the
only bill Americans could pay; before shopping at the mall, before college or school
supplies, before rent or mortgage or utilities, and finally before their groceries.
What happened next was only logical. Altnu began to offer room and board for
those people unable to afford rent and food. In exchange, each individual and family was
required to participate in simple medical studies, kind of like the ones for new
prescription drugs awaiting FDA approval. Except, these studies went further. This is how
Jody and Derek met The Doctor.
Dereks mom and stepdad pulled him out of school with the Great Exodus, as
newspapers began to call it. Parents yanked kids out with various excuses, Oh, were
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moving. Or We want to try private school instead. But the sad truth was Altnu had
stretched their gremlins claw into the realm of education and soon crept into every budded
branch of life. Jodys mom, who held a PhD in Poetry, taught middle school English, and
was a staunch supporter of public schools, was more reluctant to withdraw her three kids.
She held out as long as she could, relying on savings and help from friends and family to
keep their kids in school just a little bit longer. It was only a matter of time before Jody and
Derek would join Altnu: either as patients or employees.
ROOAWR! howls the horrendous beast above her. Jody clenches her fist.
She has no clue who or what is making that noise all she can think of is that
baby
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Chapter 5: Breaking Out
Jody paces in her sterile prison, tracing her index finger between the cracks in the
cushioned walls. She is hoping for some way to escape, there has to be a door here
somewhere, right? How else could The Doctor have brought her in?
Every once in awhile, Derek saunters overhead, a windowy reflection in his eyes.
The first few times he passes over, Jody frantically waves her arms hoping to somehow
snap him out of whatever chemical daze he is in. Its useless. She tries throwing her shoes
at the glass, screaming and hollering his name, and, at one point in mad desperation, she
sings Lady Gaga songs while dancing the Swedish Polka. Surprisingly, that doesnt work.
If she is going to escape and save that innocent baby, not to mention Derek, if he
can still be saved, its going to take a bit more strategizing. Perhaps she will have to work
through Derek, use him somehow. Its not as if Jody isnt used to outsmarting him. Theyve
been going out for almost a year and the desire to outsmart one another comes with every
long-term relationship. Thats normal, right?
Then it happens. Right in the middle of a good scheme to break free, she collapses.
***
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Chapter 6: Operation
When she wakes, she finds herself strapped to a flat, hard table, as snug as a hand in
a glove. Well, the first part of her plan worked: she is out of that barren prison below.
Now, about this operating table
Derek slowly crosses toward his girlfriend, his confidant his soul mate (hey, they
could be. Give them a break. How are they supposed to know? Theyre only 14 for crying
out loud!). He is carrying a shiny, silver instrument, not like a flute or trumpet or
something. Its a medical instrument, the slender cousin to the steak knife.
Many boyfriends bring their girlfriends unexpected gifts: flowers, chocolates,
homemade cards with ribbons and macaroni glued to it. But there is something about the
scalpel Derek is holding so firmly in his hand as he inches closer to Jody that freaks her out
a bit. Just a bit.
But, before Jody tries snapping Derek out of his trance, she is free. Derek has sliced
the leather straps at the same moment she thought he was going to julienne her into fine
Jody-bits. She sits up, speechless.
What?
Derek winks at her and slips the sharp instrument into his back jean pocket.
YOW!! he shrieks.
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Shhhh. Derek, whats the matter?

Wrong...placetoputa razor sharp knife. he spits out slowly.
Jody just rolls her eyes; as if this is something he has done before. She throws the
straps off her and jumps off the table.
Most people have trouble walking after experiencing shock or being tied to a table.
Like in the movies when an EMT gives the victim one of those dirty old blankets to keep
them from shivering to death. Well, Jody flat out flops to the floor after jumping off the
operating table. She is going to need a bit more than a dirty blanket to help her recover
from this shock. She tries again. Derek holds her up this time, whispering to her so that
none of the hybrids on the other tables hear them milling about.
You can do this, insists Derek, affection dripping from his lips, just below his
patchy, pubescent moustache.
No. I cant. I cant walk. Then Jody realizes why. She looks down to see her feet
aredifferent. They are feet, but they arent her feet. They arent even feet from her
species. They have another name. Technically her feet are now called hooves.
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Chapter 7: Jody-brid
It was done. The operation was done. Apparently it was painless or The Doctor
generously pumped her full of anesthesia. Jody glances a moment at her feet-hooves then
quickly looks away. She steels herself long enough to stare once more and decipher what
sort of animal these were taken from. Jody lifts her right leg and oddly the hoof responds.
She does so with her left: same response.
Then, with super-heroine nerves, she lifts part of her white surgery gown to see
what is hiding beneath. Inch by inch as the fabric climbs, it reveals what she and most
American women have fought for decades, an enemy so forsaken from society she nearly
weeps at the sight: Hairy legs.
Correction: Furry legs.
Correction Again: Furry, horse legs.
Jody is strong-willed, she has surmounted immeasurable obstacles in her short 14
years on Earth: her dad abandoning them, her bully brother, her emotionally absent mother,
but this turning into half a horse overnightthis will take some getting used to.
Jody sits back on the table and swings her front quarters, or hind quarters, or
whatever they are called, back and forth, trying to get accustomed to their weight and
shape. They glide effortlessly through the air and in a split-moment her legs remember.
They leap to the floor - this time with more confidence. One kicks back, presumably
to stretch itself, and before the other does the same, Derek steps out of the way, narrowly
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avoiding a kick to the groin. One hoof taps against the other then grinds along the top of the
bone, digging into the U-shaped shoe of the hoof. Caked mud and bits of grass slide out and
Jody produces a neigh of relief.
Derek watches in awe as Jody easily gallops onto the adjacent sink basin. She
stands there, as if under a spell to the horse legs, and asks Derek, What happened to you?
The drugs wore off, I guess. Or he shot me up with some other medication to make
me myself again. Perhaps only temporarily.
They are both quiet at the suggestion; there are no limits to The Doctors cruelty.
But umheymaybe I should be asking what happened to you. Did you forget to
tell me your dad was Seabiscuit? Derek never misses an opportunity to relieve an
awkward moment with humor.
Black Beauty, actually, Jody retorts, determined to stay upbeat about this whole
horse-legs-instead-of-human-legs thing.
So, you dont remember anything from when you were under the tranceor
medication or whatever? She clomps to her once-lost boyfriend.
No. If I had known The Doctor was going to do this I would have He falls
silent. His guilt is palpable, like a semi driving down a desolate highway, both see it
coming, full speed, unyielding. The truck crashes and Derek falls to his knees grief and
burden weighing him closer and closer to the glass floor.
And then the lion roars.
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Chapter 8: Here kitty kitty
It wasnt one of those baby lion roars. Like a mew. It was pretty much the
equivalent of an entire pride of alpha lions. Like they all got together at some nightclub and
roared with laughter at the lion-comedians jokes.
RWAIM A BIG, OLD, FAT LIONOAR! HA! HA!
It was big. Enough to make Jody and Derek almost poop their pants. Not their pants
as if they share one collective pair of pants, but each pair. Yeah. You get the picture.
Jody looks at Dereks face, which is distraught for not being there for his
girlfriends transformation into half a horse and everything. But now his face is
cement-gray. Like a sidewalk. Like that clumsy truck of guilt metaphor just ran right over
his pimpled complexion. Jody can feel Dereks hands grow tighter and colder as they wrap
around her. Hes scared. If she wasnt frightened for her life herself she might think it was
cute he was all scared and cuddly with her.
Um Derek enunciates.
I couldnt agree with you more, Jody replies as they sprint for the door. The lion,
or what they think is simply a lion, soars toward the door and arrives before they do.
Um Derek repeats.
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Good point, Jody consents, as the two head back to the operating tables.
Normally, say, if this were a day when The Laboratory was empty, this would have been a
genius idea. But, since that darn
RWAIM A BIG, OLD, FAT LIONOAR! HA! HA!
woke up all the other hybrids in The Lab, this may not be so genius.
Um Derek three-peats.
Okay, this is what were going to do Jody takes about three and half seconds
to brainstorm a plan. Take this bed sheet and do whatever you have to do to get it over that
Lion-Things head. Im going todistract it.
Um Derek reluctantly begins again. What exactly do you mean distract it?
Youll see. She winks heroically.
And with that, Jody uses her newfound animal prowess to distract the lion-hybrid.
With as much courage as an entire frontline of French soldiers crossing onto German
territory in WWI, Jody vaults atop the operating table, then another, then another until she
has sufficiently caught the lion-beasts attention.
Jody takes a deep breath as she looks at the enemy she just made. Its a lion, all
right. But its more than that. More bang for your buckor cat. This king of the jungle has
been augmented to make it a king of the skies as well. It has some sort of wings, which
must explain how it can pounce so far so fast. But the wings arent attached to its back;
they are a part of its front legs. Not like a bird, this lion-thingy still has all four limbs and
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no feathers. But it has this extra skin flapping below its armpits, like Dereks Aunt Ednas
jiggly underarms.
The lion lowers its rear end like its about to sit, then slowly wags its butt like its
about to jump, then slightly extends its front arms like its about to fly. Its quite the
confusing animal, if you must know. Jody, or rather, the hybrid once known as Jody,
prepares herself for the Mighty Cat. In about the same amount of time it takes to say,
Hang in there little kitty, the great lion takes to the air and is sailing toward Jody, a
half-ton flying squirrel about to land on her slight 14-year-old frame.
Jody, however, has become quite comfortable in her new body, predicting its limits
and gauging its strength. With those predictions, she waits until the last possible moment to
spring her horse legs high into the air, rocketing her to the ceiling some ten feet above.
Utilizing those dexterous knitting fingers of hers, she clutches for the rafters. And
just in time. The great cat lands where she was half a second ago, and just as fast, quite
surprisingly, the lion-beast is covered by a large white sheet.
Derek did his part.
Nice job honey bunches! Jody bellows from the belfry as she swings her hind legs
toward the door. Now, lets really get out of here!
Sounds good my sweet stallion!
The two young lovers make it to The Laboratory door and heave it open. They
squeeze through and close it as a stampede of hybrids trample over a very tangled and upset
kitty cat.
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Chapter 9: A Little Help
Well, at least those hybrid thingies havent been learned to open doors. Jody
exhales in a breath of relief against the closed cold steel.
No kidding, did you see the
Derek doesnt finish his sentence. One of the rude hybrids, a Polar Flamingo,
interrupts him by crashing down The Labs front wall. Not the door, per se, but the wall
that framed the door. So, the hybrids are smart enough to figure out how to escape, but
The brilliantly pink bear-bird with skinny legs falls flat on its face.
Not exactly smart enough to control their bodies. Jody and Derek rush to the outside
corner of the building and stare as a handful of half-assed (literally) creatures totter and
tumble out the front entrance rubble.
Theres a Giraff-oon, a furry grey baboon about 3 or 4 feet tall without measuring
its neck, which adds another 6 or 7 feet. It beats its spotted, burly dark chest proudly then
gets its brown and yellow patterned head caught on the deteriorating front wall frame. Its
knobby antler-do-jobs are pinched between two I-beams. It is completely blocking the exit
for the rest of the hybrids.
Then, when Jody and Derek think they will see a rampage of other beasts
attempting to plow down the trapped Giraffoon, they witness something truly unusual.
Something compassionate, almost miraculous. One of the other hybrids, a sort of
Prairie-Bat, a fusion between a prairie dog and fruit bat, flies up toward the Giraffoon. The
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Giraffoon is cringing with pain. At closer inspection Jody can see tears form around its
lemon meringue skin.
The Prairie-Bat, helplessly small itself, begins to nudge its cutesy little fur-ball of a
head against the Giraffoons antler-do-jobs. It appears to be of no use. The weight of the
entire roof rests between the squished I-beams holding the Giraffoon in place. Theres no
way this tiny hybrid creature could save the gargantuan Giraffoon. But it doesnt give up.
In fact, it flaps its wings harder and harder until the roof, believe it or not, begins to
tremble. The Prairie-Bat keeps flapping, tirelessly, and the roof, somehow, keeps trembling.
Do you see that? Jody gasps.
What?
Derek is distracted by the beasts squeezing beneath the ensnared Giraffoon:
-A Pea-naconda, a cascade of vibrant feathers festooned atop a slithering,
20-foot-long snake.
- A Pen-goat, an ice-water bird with a wooly grey face and beard chewing on the
metal rubble left behind from the wake of the front walls collapse.
That! Jody points at the small winged prairie rodent with herculean strength.
That bat-rat is freeing that giraffe-monkey. Its lifting the roof with its tiny wings!
Derek turns his attention on this super-rodents struggle. He is shocked. If he didnt
know better, he would think she is going nutty.
Nah. Youre seeing things, honey pie.
Before Jody can glare at Derek with spiteful girlfriend eyes, the roof flies away.
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Chapter 10: The Dash
Now, its not as if the roof sprouted wings and took off in flight like some migratory
bird heading to Florida. It just flew straight up. Like the clouds became some great vacuum
with the switch turned on hyper-drive and sucked that sucker clean off the mountain.
Um Derek begins, poetically.
Derek, we have bigger problems than me telling you I told you so right now.
And they did indeed.
But I can multitask, Jody insists. I told you so. Now lets get outta here!
And they dash.
They dash into the thick mountain woods, hoping the oak groves will slow the pace
of what they are running from. They dont have time to decipher what sorts of
beast-combos are tailing them. But you can bet these beasts dash a bit dash-ier than Jody
and Derek.
Well, Jody at least is dashing along quite well. Her Black Beauty like legs are
charioting her at racing speed into the thick woods. Derek, however, is lost.
So it should probably be explained right now that running isnt young Dereks
favorite pastime. Things he enjoys:
-Eating
-Snacking
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-Brunching
-Linnering
-Not running.
He can run the mile in 16 minutes fat. Or rather, flat. You see Derek is kind of
well hes sort ofthe opposite of not fat. But thats okay. Jody loves every wonderful
pound of him. Now if only Derek could love himself this much.
This is all to say, Derek isnt doing well being chased by some crazy creatures.
Jody, whom Derek believes is the love of his life, sees her struggling companion.
She could quite easily gallop off into the sunset, never to be heard from again. Maybe
gallop her way to Los Angeles and become some sort of horsey-girl reality TV star.
But she loves Derek. She loves him very much. Though he has the self-esteem of a
snail in its shell, he is a sweet young man. Basically, hes a mammas boy. This, though,
can be an asset in a young man. Jody has met Dereks mom, shes kind and generous,
makes chocolate chip cookies practically every single day (and how come Derek is
overweight again?). Shes the real deal; the warm and present mom Jody never had, thats
certain.
Sure, Jodys mom has more fancy college degrees than the average mom, but none
of them taught her how to listen to her children. They never taught her how to give every
extra minute she could to her family. Thats what Dereks mom does. Or, rather, thats
what she did before Altnu went global.
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Since Altnu Global hit, Dereks mom barely has any time for herself - not to
mention her kids. But, believe it or not, when she isnt cooking meals for Altnus doctors,
she sneaks a few dough balls into the oven, which she brings home to her family. The
people she loves most in the whole world. She would sacrifice anything for them.
Thats how Derek feels about Jody. As if he would sacrifice life itself to save her.
Its why he felt so awful when he realized he couldnt stop Jodys hybrid operation.
This is how Jody is beginning to feel about Derek as well. Dereks mom taught him
how to love. Then Derek taught Jody.
Jody turns herself around when she notices Derek is a couple hundred chubby yards
behind her. She is taller than him, by a few hoof inches, and so she has to swoop down
those inches as she leans next to him and says, Wanna horsey-back ride, little boy?
Derek smiles then mounts his galloping girlfriend.
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Chapter 11: The Summit
I guess youre a centaur now, huh? Derek asks as Jodys robust lower-half trots
them to safer, high ground. Her gait quickens every time the snarls of the beasts grow
louder. Dodging trees and hurtling over iced-over creeks, the mountainous terrain begins to
grow rockier and harsh on Jodys hooves.
You have to walk from here.
Jody says, not meanly, just matter of fact, the way she does sometimes.
They can almost see the summit of the treacherous mountain they have called home
the past week. Since escaping The Doctor and his Laboratory. Since they discovered what
sort of experiments he was doing.
I knew youd come back for me, my centaur-lover, Derek coos as he curls up next
to Jody as she lies, exhausted, against a sun-warmed boulder.
First of all, I dont think Im a centaur. I would need to have some fancy Greek
name like Jodipedes or something.
Jody wraps an arm around her man-boy.
Secondly. Of course I came back for you, silly human. You are my love. My
sweet. The masseuse whos going to massage my feet.
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Nice rhyme. Derek smiles and softly starts to rub Jodys swollen lateral digital
extensor (i.e. her shin).
Oh, yeahthats the spot. Jody brays joyfully.
Where are we? Derek asks as he peers over the jagged rocks, careful to continue
massaging lest he be reprimanded.
At the top, Jody mutters, half-awake as the massage continues.
The top? The very top? Have we ever been this far up? Wheres home? Wheres
civilization? Derek pauses the massage to look over the edge.
Jody looks up and is about to snap her fingers signaling her massage therapist to
finish his job when she realizes that may not be the nicest approach.
Oh, sweetie tweetie, would you like to finish my massage?
Yeah, sweetie tweetie, why dont you finish massaging your darling honey bunny
nunny? says another voice.
Both Jody and Derek look up, way up, and see The Doctor. He is sitting atop the
great, hovering Pterodact-Owl.
He found them.
26
Chapter 12: A Superior Race
Umwhat do you want, Doctor? Derek begins sheepishly. Not like a sheep.
More like a boy trying not to show how scared he is, which only makes him more scared.
What a brave lad you are. Perhaps I shall give you the heart of a grizzly bear to
help toughen you up.
Why are you doing this? Why are you using humans for your experiments now?
Have you no morals?
Jody stands and readies herself. Fearless.
No morals? My dear, I believe I am the only one who remains with morals. What
Altnu Global is trying to domisusing super-humansI believe theirs are the motivations
you should be questioning.
What do you mean, super-humans? Derek asks in a half-whisper.
Oh, young, simple Derek. Never able to figure things out like your clever
girlfriend. Or should I say your trusty steed.
The Doctor continues one of his much-loved rants.
27
Didnt you wonder why she was, ahem, altered and you werent? Boy, I am trying
to save both your lives; you just dont have the foresight to see that. Altnu would have
snatched Jody any day now. They have a way of finding the more capable ones. Luckily, I
found you two first. I dont know why you two escaped The Laboratory. You could have
been there for my firstcreation.
Thats exactly why we escaped. Jody stands atop a rock proudly, intending to
intimidate this doctor riding a prehistoric bird thingy.
We knew you werent really trying to help any of us. We knew it was only a matter
of time before you started doing yourcreations, as you call them. And we couldnt be a
part of that. I dont care what you do. I dont care if you call Altnu on us. I am not
sacrificing my morals for a sleaze bag like yourself.
Doctor Sleaze Bag, if you dont mind. I do have this white coat.
Why? Why, Doctor? You used to be so kind. So full of principles. You gave me
hope. Hope that we could beat those jerks at Altnu Global and that everything could go
back to normal. Jody tries to retrieve some sort of humane response from The Doctor.
Things will never go back to normal, horse-girl. Cant you of all creations
understand that? We have entered a new era. There is no turning back, and why would we
want to? Look at you. Look at your powers. Look at what you are capable of. I saw you
swing Derek onto your back. I saw you carry him 10 miles up this peak. Yes, you just ran
TEN miles withbiggie smalls over thereon your back. And you probably thought
28
nothing of it. Sure, you are sore, I imagine. But you will heal. You are part of a superior
race now.
A superior race? You meanlike shes not only half a horse, shes better than
human? Derek poses.
Derek, youre a boy-genius, arent you? The Doctor prods sarcastically.
Babe, I dont know what it is, but hes right. I feelstronger...much stronger. I
cant believe that was 10 miles I just ran with you on my back and thatlittle bat thingy,
remember what it did to the roof? Something strange has happened to ushybrids. Jody
pauses as she admits her situation- her new station in life. She is no longer human and, as
far as she knows, she never will be again. The Doctor says she is part of something better
now. But that is no consolation. She wants to be herself - not some half-beast.
Baby, its okay. Derek nestles closer to her. Its going to be okay. Everything is
going to be all right.
Derek may not be the biggest word in the dictionary, but he knows things will work
out. Somehow.
You! Derek tilts his head up to The Doctor on his beastly bird of prey. You will
pay for what she has become!
And as Derek is prone to do, he acts before thinking. This time he acts way, way,
way before thinking. He is prone to doing that too. He leaps from the top of the rock they
were standing on and lunges for The Doctor. For a moment he holds onto The Doctor in his
29
white coat. Then, he is only holding the coat as The Doctor wrenches himself around the
beast-bird and tosses Derek aside, down to the perilous gorges below.
Chapter 13: Separation Anxiety
Jody had a dog growing up. Pippi was her name. She was named after Jodys
favorite literary figure: Pippi Longstockings. Pippi, the dog, had some emotional problems.
She grew super close to Jody and would freak out whenever they were separated. Jody,
maybe because she is half-beast herself, is starting to freak out as Derek is separated from
her.
Then again, watching your boyfriend plummet down the side of a sky-high
mountain would freak you out too, right?
DEREK! she belts and rushes to the edge of the steep cliff.
Hes gone, The Doctor assures her. It is better this way. He was of no use to
either of us. You know what you are capable of with your mind and new body. He cant
keep up with your new life.
Jody is quiet. She could start raving at this mad man hovering above her. She could
attempt to do what Derek just did, lunge at The Doctor and try to dismount him. She would
30
have a much better chance given her new abilities. But she is the one who thinks before she
acts. For better or worse - she strategizes every move.
On one of Derek and Jodys first getaways, last winter, back when there was still a
school to attend, they had gone on a field trip together to Tyrol Basin, a nearby ski resort
for families and school groups. Jody had proven herself a natural at two new hobbies that
day. She learned to ski and even attempted the Wisconsin-style Black Diamond all in the
same day. During their warming time in the chalet, she learned how to play chess from
Derek. Naturally she kicked his butt after the second game. She had a wonderful trip. Derek
on the other hand probably wouldnt have chosen the word wonderful to describe his
afternoon there.
Jody has always been a strategist and quick learner. It was something that came
with that clever mind of hers. So, as she is strategizing what to do with this jerk on a bird,
this rook posing as a king, an idea surfaces. If she really wants things to return to the way
they were, if she really wants to put an end to The Doctors creations, theres only one
person who can help her with that: The Doctor himself.
Okay, Doctor. What do you want me to do? Jody demands.
My dear. I am so glad you are coming to your senses. The Doctor directs his
prehistoric bird down to the ground.
Hop on. I shall show you.
31
Chapter 14: Collaboration
And so The Doctor and Jody fly off. He tries to impress Jody with some fancy
maneuvering, showing off the great flight of this mighty beast, this prehistoric now
present-day monster. The bird, however, doesnt comply.
How did you create thisbeautiful bird?
Jody pretends to be interested in The Doctors detestable designs. The Doctor, more
self-important than most, falls easily for her words.
I am happy you asked. As you know, Altnu had been doing experiments on
animals for years. They recruited me early in the stages of Animal Collaboration, thats the
term they give to the hybrids weve created.
Mmmm-hmmm, Jody mutters forcefully.
This here is one of our first successful collaborations. I thought of the idea of
reforming the skeleton of the pterodactyl. I will admit it wasnt me who thought to use the
32
owl as its partner. I kept trying for something more bold, the Eagle, the Condor, the
Vulture, something grand, you know?
Oh, certainly, Jody pretends to agree.
Well, it turns out the owl comes equipped with certain desirable traits for hybrid
determination.
And that is Jody asks, now genuinely interested.
Well, the owl is a bird of prey, similar to the pterodactyl, and its stocky build has
been one of its saving graces in the continuum of evolution. As many birds of prey have
become larger to conform to their needs for growth and sustenance, the owl has almost
been figuring out a way to build itself stronger from the inside out. Its like a tank
compared to a hang glider. Sure, the hang glider has greater wing span, but the tank is
virtually indestructible.
Okay Jody urges him to continue.
So, science prevailed over nature and paved the way for a multitude of other
collaborations. See Jody, it isnt simply a matter of what two animals have in common that
makes them good collaborators. It is also how they differ. It is how they complement and
contradict each others genomes that create such beautiful beasts as Estelle here.
Estelle? Jody almost laughs, except she remembers she is trying to win The
Doctor over.
Yes. She is named after my mother, The Doctor asserts. The most repugnant
beast that ever lived.
33
Chapter 15: Kid Prodigy
Jody and The Doctor arrive at the remains of The Laboratory. She dismounts first,
jumping an impressive 15 feet from the ground before the bird lands. She touches down as
gracefully as an Olympic gymnast, minus the leotard and multi-million dollar cereal
sponsorship.
The Doctor takes his time in unseating himself. His less-than-sporty,
fifty-something-year-old self descends like a T.V. from a window, only without as much
bounce. The Doctor isnt an old man, but hes no young buck either. He got into the
medical field at 17, a kid prodigy of sorts; a teenager with an uncanny memory and thirst
for knowledge. He made his rounds in several specialty areas: cardiovascular, neurology,
and anatomical deformities. But evolutionary genetics, particularly eugenics, interested him
most.
He spent many years researching the formations and reformations of human
genomes, eventually coming to the conclusion that, Meh, I could make one of these.
34
(Referring of course to human beings.) And he tried. He tried for years to master the perfect
reformation of humankind, ultimately to be unsuccessful. Until Altnus biogenetics team
came across some of his work.
This became a vital chapter in the still rather young Doctors career. He was in his
early thirties and devoted all his energy, waking and sleeping, toward mastering his
ultimate vision. He poured over university library books during the daylight hours and did
his experimenting during late nights, some on willing friends, most on himself.
His experiments would entail a lot of electromagnetic attachments connecting the
subject to whirring machines and gadgets that resembled something out of a Robert
Zemeckis movie. He had perhaps thousands (if not millions, he would know, why dont
you ask him) of attempts at reforming man. But all efforts were fruitless and abandoned.
Altnu came to the rescue when they decided some of his work on humans could be
done on animals, which could then be used to study human behavior. The Doctor, having
no prior membership with PETA or other animal rights groups, had no qualms in
continuing his work on animals instead of humans. The results were near instant. Soon he
found reformations could be made between the strangest breeds.
The work was all scientific. Nature had nothing to do with The Laboratory - until
nature came to destroy it.
35
Chapter 16: The Remnants of The Lab
The Laboratory is in complete ruins when Jody and The Doctor return. They walk
through what was the entrance, stepping over the collapsed roof that has become a small
shelter for some of the smaller hybrid animals. The Prairie-Bat and Pengoat scurry away as
they hear Jody approach. The Doctor calls after them,
Dracula Ingalls Wilder! Billy Freeman! Come to me!
Jody was in shock. Half because she never thought The Doctor had it in him to
name these hybrids of his, and half because they actually listened. Mammas home.
Time for dinner, my loves, The Doctor whispers as he crouches down to pet two
of his favorite beasts.
Dracula Ingalls Wilder, the Prairie-Bat, flies up to lick The Doctors nose, giving
him wet kisses. So, Jody wasnt wrong when she noticed how sweet this bat-rat was. She
almost feels bad for prejudging it as some sort of savage beast. Wait, it is a savage beast,
she reminds herself. No, it is a sweet and domesticated beast, she convinces herself, one
that rescued another hybrid in danger. Jody finishes arguing with herself. Unluckily for her,
36
she was carrying on this argument aloud, rather than in her head like any other rational
person would do. But she is no longer a person. Not completely. She will forever live as
half woman, half beast and suffer the shortcomings of both. At present, it is a lack of
self-control.
Well, we are here now. Jody snaps out of her preoccupations with her own
dilemma and focuses on how to stop further creations and hybrids from being made.
How do we make morecreations? Jody eeks out the words agonizingly. She
doesnt want to seem too eager, but she doesnt want to seem bored either. The Doctor
doesnt seem to notice either way. He is merely excited to have a partner again in these
ventures.
Well, my clever Pony-Girl, you can help me greatly by simply being yourself.
Think about your friends, how can we get them to join you? How can we create an entire
race of intelligent, teenaged hybrids? YOU are the future.
Jody thinks for a couple minutes, pacing and kicking at the debris of the roof.
Luckily for The Doctor only part of the ceiling in the waiting room came crashing down.
Which means that most of the equipment and basement holding cells are left untouched.
Jody is a bit distracted from The Doctors Pony-Girl comment but doesnt want to show
her ill-will. She considers The Doctors other words, about convincing her friends. Well,
first off, Jody doesnt have a whole lot of friends. Thats the result of dedicating her school
nights to, of all things, school work. She has never been more sorry to be such a faithful
37
student. If only she had some sort of social life she might be able to get friends to help her
take The Doctor down.
Well, there was Nadya
Chapter 17: Nadya
Nadya is a fireball. She and Jody have been close friends since Jody moved to this
small mountain town from the suburbs of Chicago. Jody has always been quiet and not
exactly the best at making friends, but Nadya was the exact opposite. They were each
others perfect counterparts. One was shy, the other outgoing. Where one was smart the
othera bit dim. But they enjoyed each others company and spent almost every weekend
they could at each others house (Jody, of course, was stuck studying during the week and
so did little hanging out after school).
Nadya is the ideal friend to help Jody take The Doctor down. She has Jodys back,
no matter what. Last year, before all this mess happened with Altnu, Nadya and Jody had
quite the exciting seventh grade. Jody had been going through what she later realized was a
sort of depression. Most middle schoolers get depressed, especially in seventh grade,
statistically and all that. Its just a confusing time: learning about who you are on the inside,
trying to make friends on the outside, trying to fit in, trying to be yourself, its almost
surprising most middle schoolers make it through alive. Jody barely did.
38
So, Jody was depressed, didnt have a boyfriend, didnt like the way her body
looked (she thought she was too skinny, even though one of her other best friends was
Little Debbie ) and didnt feel like she fit in with other people at school. Without a doubt
she was and is hilarious, and the few friends she does have enjoy being around her because
of her lewd sense of humor and deadpan wit. Still, school was hard. She often knew all the
answers the teachers asked but couldnt get her arm to lift itself and join in the class
discussions. She would avoid eye contact when walking down the hall. Most students (and
some of the dense faculty) thought she was mad at the world. No, she wasnt mad. She was
shy, paralyzed by her shyness.
So, in that crazy seventh grade year, last year, she and Nadya made a pact. Jody
would try to be more outgoing, and Nadya would try to be a better listener and student.
Nadya was up to the challenge. She knew having too many friends, hopping from one
social scene to the next was fun, but not as meaningful as her time with Jody. She wanted to
have more lasting relationships. Jody did, too. So, at one of their many Friday night
sleepovers, after a particularly frolicking Molly Ringwald Marathon (you know, Sixteen
Candles, The Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink, etc) Jody and Nadya donned their
raspberry red wigs (in Ringwald fashion) and made their pact.
I, Jody, swear to make five more friends by the end of the school year. And to raise
my hand more in class. To which Nadya replied,
I, Nadya, swear to lose five of my fake friends and be a better listener and student
by the end of the year. It was done. Their pact was made. Now they had to live up to it.
39
Nadya pretty much flopped. She still spent way too much time with her other
buddies and pals, leaving Jody with her studies again. But Jody was determined to get out
of her funk. She even decided to try hanging out with friends during, of all nights, school
nights! This was a big change for her and nothing to snub, because it made her quite
vulnerable. Jody reached out to other seventh grade girls. Not to overly popular ones and
not the ones she didnt feel she had anything in common with. The middle of the road. The
ones whom she saw studying alone or doodling in class or wearing clothes she wanted to
wear but didnt have a mom cool enough to buy for her.
She began answering more questions in class. Not caring about what others thought
when she spoke, albeit meekly. The trick to doing this, she found out, was to pretend it was
just her and the teacher in the room. Only the two of them. It worked. Slowly she was
transforming herself. Jody was anything if not a self-transformer. Not like she turns into a
building or robot that shoots torpedoes at intergalactic space aliens, more like, she
transforms into a better person whenever she puts in the effort. Which is more potent in the
long run. So, Jody lived up to her end of the bargain and waited for Nadya to do the same.
And waited. And waited. Until she thought Nadya was slipping further from her than ever.
See, one thing Jody didnt know is friends slip away every day, especially during
the middle school years. People change. Just like Jody wanted so badly to change for the
better, Nadya wasnt as strong. She wasnt able to push outside her comfort zone. Nadya
was happy with who she was, and perhaps only pretended not to be to make Jody feel better
about herself.
40
Nadya may have been becoming more distant, but that didnt mean she didnt care
about Jody at all. Nadya loved Jody as the sister she never had. She just didnt know how to
recognize a sister in need until it was too late.
One day, after a particularly trying Tuesday in seventh grade, after Jody participated
in almost all of her class discussions, after she sat with an almost entirely different group of
friends, Jody came home to take a shower. It was your typical, Im sweaty and gross I
gotta take a shower shower. Except, something happened that more or less changed her
life. She fainted. Collapsed. Ka-blooey. Ker-plop. And no one was at home to check on her.
Her mom was working her bank job (even though she was a teacher during the day she still
worked several afternoons as a drive-through bank teller to keep her family away from the
encroaching Altnu), her dad was somewhere else in the world (he deserted them years ago),
her older brother was probably off doing drugs or drinking with his friends (he deserted his
family emotionally when their father deserted them geographically) and her sister was off
with one of her best friends (she had dozens of friends, not like Nadya, but not like Jody
either, she was normal like that).
So, no one was home to hear the crash of a skinny seventh grader falling through
the shower curtains, tearing them down as she lost consciousness and smacked her face
against the bathroom tiles, rosettes with purple stems. Jody had a dream during that
half-living state. She dreamt about the many friends she had. She dreamt about being
valedictorian of her middle school. She dreamt about being normal. Like her sister. Like
Nadya. Like anybody but herself. She dreamt about leaving her damaged body behind and
41
looking for another. One that was perfect. One that had friends. Maybe even a boyfriend.
She dreamt about ending it all. All she had to do was keep sleeping. Never wake again.
Fortunately for Jody, her mom forgot some student papers she was going to grade
that night at work. (She was always forgetting something.) So, when Jodys mom heard the
shower running, she called out to whomever it was in there. But there was no response.
Instantly, her mom became worried. (She was always worrying about something.) Though
Jodys mom spent very little time at home or with her family, that didnt mean she didnt
love them. Just the opposite. And so Jodys mom became Super-Mom, as is necessary for
any parent. She knocked, banged, and busted down the bathroom door.
Jody was barely breathing.
42
Chapter 18: A Friend in Need
So, that was how Jody almost died. It wasnt exactly her fault, but Nadya felt partial
blame. Nadya thought if she would have been a better friend, if she had lived up to her part
of the pact, Jody might not have been so frail.
Jody knows Nadya felt this way. And she doesnt want to guilt trip her (former) best
friend or anything, but this certainly is a convenient time to call in a favor, with the world
almost ending because of The Doctors hybrid monsters on the loose and everything.
All Jody has to do is find her.
Where would present-day Nadya be? Where would the Nadya who was a social
butterfly flutter to in these days of butterflies bred with boars? Jody cant imagine Nadya
would soar so low as to be employed with Altnu Global, but she can see Nadya being
tangled up in Altnus netting of need. Nadya was never the best planner, never the best at
remembering to do homework for Mrs. Bealands humanities class.
When they were supposed to be memorizing lines to Shakespeares A Midsummer
Nights Dream, Nadya watched the movie and got distracted trying to figure out if the
43
actor playing Oberon was gay or not. Needless to say, Nadya didnt get a chance to
memorize Pucks lines that quarter, which would have been their last quarter as middle
schoolers, their last quarter as any schoolers.
So, with her non-planning, non-preparedness, it wouldnt surprise Jody in the least
if Nadya ended up needing Atnu more than her and her family would have liked. They were
immigrants, her family. Straight from Kosovo. They moved to America during the big war.
Nadya lost her aunt and uncle and grandfather due to a bombing in Kosovo. She lived
amidst fear and deprivation. If she wasnt academically ready, she was probably amongst
the most emotionally prepared for this Atnu conquest. Now, instead of soldiers and tanks
patrolling her neighborhood it is becoming scientists and beasts. She wasnt sure which
alarmed her more.
Jody tries calling Nadya at her home phone. Nadyas parents refused to buy her a
cell phone because of the radiation scares in neighboring Russia when they were growing
up. No one answers, which doesnt mean much. No one ever answered. They are a family
of perpetual screeners. They screened phone calls, screened doorbells and managed to find
a way to screen personal conversations (they are a very distant family).
Knowing she doesnt have much in the way of time, Jody decides to call mutual
friends that might know Nadyas whereabouts. Sure, Jody could have recruited these
mutual friends and acquaintances in this scheme to overturn The Doctor. But, that would
require a more talkative 14-year-old.
44
Eventually, thanks to Sydney from their old Geometry class, the girl who spent
more time sleeping than studying theorems, Jody tracks down Nadya. Well, it turns out
Jody assumed right: she wasnt working for Atnu. But that left only one alternative - Altnu
was working on her.
Chapter 19: Nadya-bird
Nadya is barely conscious when Jody finds her. She is concealed by silvery-white
plumage and has a strange, large bandage over her mouth and nose. She is hardly
recognizable. The once striking girl, who slipped amongst social circles as effortlessly as a
princess entertaining her regal guests, is now more rooster than royalty. Jody weeps for her
best friend. She weeps because it is obvious her family pressured her into this. She is no
longer human; she is now one of Atnus pets. But then again, so is Jody.
Jody strokes Nadyas feathers, softly gliding her fingers through the fine blanket of
down. She wonders if Nadya can fly. It isnt impossible. Jody has the ability to jump great
heights and sprint long distances. For a split moment Jody imagines how these
reformations and collaborations will advance the human species.
Perhaps there is no turning back.
Perhaps the people-animal hybrids will breed an offspring gifted by both species.
45
Perhaps humans as we know them are becoming extinct. Derek, if he were still here,
may not have lived through this shift in life forms.
Perhaps he would have been eaten alive, unable to defend himself against the beasts
that appear to be creeping in all nooks of this mountain town and beyond.
Perhaps Jody is too late and there is no way to stop what The Doctor started.
Then Nadya awakes.
To be honest, Jody is expecting some sort of COCKADOODLEY DOO! or
something to spring from Nadyas mouth. And maybe there would have been if Nadyas
mouth and nose werent bandaged up. Jody shudders thinking about what may be under
that bandage, but she doesnt have a lot of time to shudder. Nadyas clawed hand binds
itself around Jodys wrist and squeezes.
Tighter.
And tighter.
Jody begins to struggle. She pries her best friends pincers off her arm one by one.
But it is impossible. They re-attach to Jodys arm instantly. As if they are magnetized. Jody
wants to scream for help but thinks twice. She snuck into this lab late at night when it was
still dark and The Doctor had fallen asleep back at his own Laboratory.
It wasnt the worlds most perfect breaking-and-entering. She found the building
their mutual friend had described and sucked in her breath when she got there. Altnu
Globals main laboratory, apart from The Doctors experiments, is a building Jody and
Derek both knew quite well. All 7th and 8th graders knew it well. It was Charles Chesnutt
46
Middle School. Their middle school. They used to joke about it being more of a prison than
a school. Now, for Nadya and a bunch of other creations sleeping in what used to be the
boys and girls locker rooms, it truly is a prison.
Jody thought she had been tormented enough in these locker rooms. Other girls used
to snicker when they saw she didnt wear a bra yet. They had plenty of awful nicknames for
her. Too mean to mention here. But now, being in the clutches of her best friend, who has
turned into some sort of half bird-monster, the torment is different.
Nadyas claws pierce Jodys wrist until the skin pops like a balloon animal. All the
while a couple dozen snoozing, blood-hungry creatures surround them. This might be
worse than some preppy girls calling Jody flat chested.
47
Chapter 20: The Henchmen
Sure Jody knows her life is (literally) in the hands of this beast-friend of hers. But
she stays calm a moment longer. It seems like shes been in a room full of sleeping
hybrid-beast-monster-creations before, and overreactingdidnt help much.
Nadya, Jody murmurs.
If Nadya is inside this bird-monster she isnt coming out too soon. Maybe some
stale bread crumbs or a handful of sunflower seeds might convince her, but Jody came
unprepared. While keeping her own eyes fixed on the deranged pair that used to be
Nadyas, Jody carefully slides one of Nadyas restraints out of its buckles. Instantly Nadya
loosens her death grip on Jodys wrist.
Kindness.
Nadya hasnt felt this in sometime. She has been a prisoner and patient to Altnu
for many months. It isnt worth trying to figure out how long. Long enough that she is
further along in the process of Altnu and The Doctors reformation than Jody. She may
48
be more bird than human now. Jody decides it isnt right to leave Nadya here whether she is
beast or girl. There is bound to be more tests on her, more operations, more experiments.
Remember how this wasnt the worlds most perfect breaking-and-entering? Thats
because Jody had no clue this middle school turned high-tech laboratory is now triggered
with infrared heat sensors and sound-sensitive alarm systems. So, when Jody broke the
glass window leading into the locker rooms - that was one alarm. When Jody stumbled out
of the window and fell onto her butt, (although not terribly ungracefully) - that was another
alarm. And now that the restraints have been removed from one of the tables - that will be
another alarm.
Not exactly the worlds most perfect exit either as four henchmen in bright yellow
suits enter the girls locker room. Its hard to tell because of their antimicrobial masks, but
lets assume they arent wearing their happy faces.
***
Jody wastes no time in devising yet another escape plan in her mind. (Is this all she
is going to do this week: escape, break free, runaway, repeat?) She crouches down to lift up
her best friend who has fallen back into some sort of deep sleep (at least Jody hopes it is
sleep). Then, with her strapping new horse legs, she leaps into the air. In one coordinated
action, as if she were the lead ballerina in some equestrian Nutcracker, Jody does a
pirouette that topples the bed Nadya was just occupying.
49
Thats about it. It doesnt create a ripple effect where a bunch of other things come
tumbling down like dominos onto the henchmen. Nope. It just gives Jody a bad pain in the
shin.
NUGGETS! Jody screams for some reason.
But, despite the anguish, she starts running, not deeper into the locker rooms where
who knows not what sort of monsters lurk, but straight for the henchmen. This brazen move
catches the henchmen off-guard for a moment. But just a moment. And as Jody stampedes
through, the henchmen take aim. Several shoot but only one of their projectiles find its
target. Right into Jodys horsey hiney.
The projectile is a 3.5 inch long tranquilizer dart meant to stop any of these beasts
from escaping. But either the dart didnt inject fully or Jodys rear-end is stronger than most
because she keeps galloping down the hallway. She looks to see where the dart hit her. But
its gone. It must have fallen out, thats why it isnt affecting her. Right?
Looking for this, horse girl?
And there in the winged claws of the passenger riding Jodys back is the dart - still
half full.
Jody smiles at Nadya while galloping through the old gymnasium. She rushes into
the school library. Well, it used to be the school library. Now it appears to be some sort of
complex supercomputer station for Altnu Global.
Correction: a diabolical, complex supercomputer station.
50
Chapter 21: Altnus Lair
Jody and Nadya are all alone when they enter the school library turned
supercomputer station. No librarians. No scientists. No hybrid flesh-eating monsters. But
there are a whole lot of computers. Rows and rows. Perhaps hundreds.
If only these computers were available when this was a school. Students could have
actually gotten some work done and some papers written. Instead, the six hundred middle
schoolers had to share about twenty out-dated laptops. Sure, they all took turns and the
administration told the students that worked just fine. Students dont need to be on
computers all day anyways. This is true. Time outside is nice. Reading is good. Breaks
from computers are necessary. But lets be honest. This is the 2000s. The technological
dawn. Any student who is computer illiterate will fit in as well as a person wearing day-glo
and a pair of Bugle Boy zubaz.
Exactly.
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Jody and Nadya try to figure out what this all means. Why would this computer
headquarters be unguarded? Why isnt anyone stopping them?
Then they find out.
HelloJody Ann Monroe and Nadya Svetlana Yormechev.
Whois that? Nadyas voice cracks from underuse. Jody is relieved to hear her
talking more. To be honest, Jody wasnt sure how far the transformation had gone on
Nadya. One day shes a girl, the next she is half-bird. She and Jody are quite the duo:
bird-lady and horse-girl.
I think you meanwhatis that, Jody corrected.
We are glad you have joined us, announces a couple hundred voices in unison.
Whos there? Jody says above a whisper. In her head she screamed the command,
but in actuality she is hushed by the unknown presence.
We are.
We are.
We are.
We are.
We are.
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The voices bounce all over the room. They appear to be coming from the walls. The
ceiling. The floor. Everywhere.
Chapter 22: The Voices
Who is that? Where are you? How do you know our names?
Jody fires her questions as her only defense. Hoping one of the bullets will impale
her invisible attackers.
WE ARE, the voices ring in unison once more.
Well, who is that? Who are you? Nadya is more direct, assuming these voices are
in the mood to play games with their minds.
We are The Voices of Altnu, a voice from a far away computer announces.
We know your name because you have joined us. You are family now.
A nearby computer calls out this eerie welcome.
What do you meanjoined you? What do you meanfamily?
Nadya asks this but Jody is quick to respond, I think they mean because were.
Jody cannot finish her thought but The Voices can.
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Creations. Hybrids. Collaborations. You go by many names now. Though we will

still honor your given human names.
Howare you able to talk to us?
Nadya asks, walking up to one of the computers, sizing it up. She really wants to
dangle it by its motherboard, but she restrains herself (mostly because her claw-hands
arent able to do a lot of grabbing these days).
We are The Voices of Altnu. We have been designed to keep watch on The
Laboratories and all Altnu facilities. We are responsible for the safety and wellbeing of you
and your siblings. No one will harm you as long as we are here to protect you.
Aw. Thats sweet, Nadya replies with sarcasm.
Jody pulls at Nadya. She gives Nadya a knowing glance, as in, this is our chance.
However, Jody cannot communicate this without the computers hearing. Here they are,
with the perfect opportunity to destroy all of Altnu and what is stopping them?
So, what is stopping us from destroying you right now? Jody asks, perhaps a bit
too bluntly.
Your body chemistry, one of The Voices responds from a computer monitor
several feet away. You have been redesigned with a non self-destruct mechanism. There is
nothing you can do to harm yourself, your siblings or your creator.
Not The Doctor or any of the henchmen? Jody asks, again, perhaps a bit too open
about her plans.
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I am afraid the humans and The Doctor are out of our realm. We have no control
over them or what may happen to them.
The computer almost sounds sad as it explains.
Jody stands still wondering how in the world she can still destroy this place. But
they are right. She wants so badly to push all these computers down, but she cant. Every
time she lifts a hand to one of the monitors there is some sort of mental fence that goes up.
Her vision becomes blurred and her mind goes foggy. Needless to say, it is not a pleasant
feeling. Like bumping your head against the cement wall of a skyscraper.
Jody wonders what would happen if she decided to go for it. If she decided to run
full force towards these computers and leap onto them or somehow rig something to fall on
top of them. It wouldnt necessarily be her doing then. It would be an accident.
There are no accidents at Altnu, Jody.
Jody looks at Nadya in shock.
Holy crap. They can read our thoughts.
Nadya turns to Jody and cries.
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Chapter 23: Loss of Humanity
Lets get outta here, Nadya musters, through the trembling of her beak.
Where? How? Where are we going to go? Its over.
Jody is defeated. Nadya may falling apart on the outside, but Jody is self-destructing
in a way The Voices couldnt imagine. She is losing something any human must never lose
if they want to stay fully human. And because Jody is already half beast, if she loses this
last humane part of her, she may never return.
Its hope. Thats what Jody is losing. Not her house keys like she often did in the
mornings, or her cell phone like she did when she stayed overnight somewhere. Not her
hair tie or the remote control.
She is losing hope. The beast inside of her begins to stir. It neighs and brays. It
kicks and scratches. It is ready to flee, to leave the human inside her here with The Voices.
The beast inside her wants only to survive. It cares not to plot or scheme or obliterate this
high-tech middle school turned diabolical super-research facility.
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Nadya turns to Jody, whose eyes are glossing over, distantly.

Are you okay? Nadya asks.
No response.
Jody? Lets get outta here!
It takes quite a nudge from the bird-girl but Nadya uses all her weight to oust Jody
from the computer room. Instantly Jody takes a deep breath.
Uhhhnn, Jody drops to the floor and moans, her horse legs giving way.
JODY! Nadya screams. Jody! Wake up! Jody! Wake up!
But it is no use.
She is not dead. Luckily. But she is not moving either. So, as if Nadya owed this to
Jody from before, she swoops down and nuzzles her beak and head under Jodys
motionless arms. Carefully Nadya clips her now unbandaged beak around Jodys surgeon
gown and holds it in place as if it were a bridle. Jody wakes when Nadya is in a full sprint,
her bird legs thin but durable.
What the? Jody begins.
Just hold on, Nadya reassures her.
And as they speed down the hallways of their former school, past their science
teachers room with stuffed hawks eating squirrels, past the special education rooms with
trampolines and swings, past the class projects still posted on the wallsstudent poems and
short stories, detailed drawings of still life from the art room, and past the Bienvenido
signs hanging over the Spanish teachers door, until they reach the auditorium.
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Nadya crashes into the revolving door with her head and rams it open.
Ow, she eeks, but keeps barreling down the vomitorium (what kind of name is
that for the aisle of an auditorium anyway? Are we supposed to vomit on the actors as they
leave the stage and rush down these sunken alleyways?)
Nadya keeps running until the weight becomes unbearable and all she can do is fly.
Chapter 24: The Auditorium
The auditorium is vacant. Just like the gymnasium and the library-turned-diabolicalcomputer-headquarters. The faded red velvet seats are empty. The stage is empty.
Everything is quiet.
Nadya keeps flying, struggling to maneuver this new ability while holding Jodys
weight until they reach the catwalk. Nadya had spent the past two and a half years of
middle school in this catwalk, far above the audience and stage. She was a techie for every
production that went on since 6th grade.
Annie
Annie Get Your Gun
Anne of Green Gables
and
Anne Rices Interview with a Vampire
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Kathryn Bloy, the Charles Chesnutt Middle School theater director, had a thing for
staged productions with Anne in it. Apparently it was the name of her partner. The one
she was unable to marry because of laws that said two women couldnt marry in most of
the United States. This was Kathryns way of making that commitment public. Ms. Bloy
and her partner Anne were together for more than twenty years. Anne had died before Jody
and Nadya got to the middle school but because it was a small town everyone knew the
story. Ms. Bloy, who had produced so many moving, romantic works of art on this stage,
lived one of the most tragic love stories of all: love lost without recognition. Unlike
unrequited love, such as Quasimodos for Esmeralda or Cyrano de Bergeracs for Roxane,
Kathryns love for Anne was classified as criminal.
Where are we going? Jody asks as she dismounts her flying friend.
I dont know. I figured this would be a safe place. Not many people knew about it
when we went to school here so I am hoping no one knows about it now. Come on.
Nadya leads Jody through the steel beams that house spotlights, megaphones, and
hundreds of thick, interwoven electrical cables. They walk carefully through the webs of
wires stopping frequently to allow their long legs and wings to gain passage.
Well, this used to be a lot easier when I wasnt Big Bird. Nadya smiles at Jody.
They tiptoe across a few uncertain planks and make their way over the stage.
Here. Nadya stops at a small door. It would be a miracle if their human selves
could have fit through this narrow opening and thus is impossible with the extra beastliness
they are sporting.
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Theres no way we can fit through, Jody insists.

Nadya opens the laundry-chute sized door and reaches around to unhinge a latch. A
door about six feet tall and three feet wide opens up before them.
How about now?
They step over the base of the door, careful not to lose balance and plummet the 20
some feet to the hard stage below. Once inside, Nadya shuts the door and a tiny light turns
on, warming the small room.
What is this place? Jody asks.
Thisthis is my dungeon.
Nadya grins.
Your dungeon? Havent we played prisoner enough already?
Hey. We needed somewhere safe and quiet. What better place than here, right?
I guess Jody sighs uncertainly.
Sowhat are we going to do? Nadya poses.
I dont know. I mean, theres not a whole lot we can do. Is there? Jody asks,
somewhat downhearted.
Oh, I dont know about that. Nadya is returning to her human self. Optimistic. A
survivor. An immigrant. Foreign to the blas attitudes of American culture.
Listen. Before my family left Kosovo we once had to wait 19 days in a room not
much bigger than this. Eight of us. My three aunts, brother, sister, grandma, mom and me.
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We were waiting for the Slavs to retreat. And boy did they take their time. Stupid, selfish
soldiers sitting around sulking.
I love how you alliterate when youre angry.
What? Why would I worry about words when Im worn out?
Jody snickers.
Oh, shut up. Nadya smiles at her longtime friend. So, anyways. My family had
to wait for what seemed like an eternity in a small room like this. We didnt do much. Most
of us cried a lot. Emil, who was only six at the time, grew frustrated pretty quickly and
wanted to go out and fight. But every time a bomb exploded near us, hed keep quiet a
while. We all did. We all knew that bomb could have been aimed at us, but somehow it
never hit us. None of them did. The streets were blown up when we got out nearly three
weeks later. The bags of bread and potatoes we brought in to the bunker were molded and
awful smelling. It had clogged the air with a disgusting stench. But when we walked out
into the streets, a new smell reigned. Death. Everywhere death.
Nadya is silent for some time. As if the emotional bomb that just landed was too
close to home. Butwe stayed alive. We were destined to. We survived.
Then we will, too, Nadya. We will survive and fight Altnu. Somehow. They may
control half our bodies, but the other half is ours. The other half will fight back. Somehow.
The girls close their eyes to rest in this bunker above the middle school stage, props
from Anna Karenina still strung about as if the production had never ended.
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Chapter 25: The Visions
The girls slept. And dreamt. Visions of Sugar Plum Fairies danced in their heads.
Then those Sugar Plum Fairies were eaten by hideous hybrid-beasts like the SabreDon and
Pterodact-Owl. The Sabre-Don sinking its six-inch claws into the plump bellies of the plum
fairies, ripping it into small, bite-sized pieces to bring back to its cubs. Sometimes the
great-great cat would devour one of the fairies in two great chomps as it tried to demi-pli
away, pouncing on it and playing with it first, of course. Letting it think it still had a chance
to live. The Pterodact-Owl would be left the scraps: limbs of fairy legs and snapped off
wings. They were mostly bones, these frail fairies, and not particularly filling, but they
were sweet. The sugar plum fairy, dancing in the heads of boys and girls until they reached
the age of reason was delectable. Once the dreamer became an adult, however, the fairies
would turn bitter. Rotten.
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The Pterodact-Owl and SabreDon gobbled down the fairies as they were ordered.
Altnu had been placing more and more hybrids into the dreams of their subjects, more or
less for observation. Altnu kept a close eye on the creations and collaborations during the
day, the ones that hadnt escaped, that is. Yet, they were hoping if they could start tracking
dreams, implanting the visions of the more intimidating beasts, fear would force
compliance.
***
Jody wakes with a start.
She cant place her dreams and the visions. At first, she merely feels unsafe,
vulnerable, as if something or someone is watching her. She looks to Nadya, who is still
sleeping. Then, carefully, she cracks open the door leading to the catwalk. No one is on the
catwalk. She is safe.
As she begins to close the door she hears a voice.
They will not have gone far. The bird-girl has been given The Visions but I cannot
be sure Jody, the one with horse legs, had a successful implementation.
Its The Doctors voice.
He is here.
He knows they are near.
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Jody creeps the door closed, millimeter by millimeter, and latches the front. Not like
this door will keep them safe when something like the Pterodact-Owl finds them. Or The
Visions.
The Visions.
They come back to Jody. The implementation of these beasts into Jodys
subconscious while she was being operated on was indeed successful. Not like she wants to
tell The Doctor how great of a job he did. But The Doctor said The Visions were successful
in Nadya as well.
Jody leans closer to Nadya and sees her best friend squirming. At once Jody shakes
Nadya awake and a look of terror takes over Nadyas face. She is lost. Paranoid.
Trembling. Jody holds the wing of her best friend and hugs her. Jody gives her a
comforting smirk, a forced one, as she tries to be strong. It is meaningful enough because
Nadya noticeably sheds some of her fear.
With a great breath Nadya begins,
I just had anawful dream
I know, Nadya. They have implanted Visions. Altnu has. I assume they are meant
to keep track of us or scare us into submission, but we cant let that happen.
Nadya cant help herself and begins to nod off again.
Nadya. Jody shakes her friend awake. Dont do it. Dont fall asleep yet.
The girls are dead tired. After the days adventures, there was nothing either of them
wanted more than rest.
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Im going back out there. The Doctors out there.

Nadya nods subtly as if giving her permission. Jody opens the door again and this
time hears another voice she recognizes. A younger voice. A squeaky, cracking under the
pressures of puberty voice.
Without constructing much thought, Jody steps onto the catwalk to confirm her
suspicions.
There, talking to The Doctor, is Derek. Unharmed. As if he hadnt fallen off a cliff
trying to save her life.
Still, something is different about him.
Chapter 26: The Weight
Derek has been overweight for almost as long as he can remember. There was a
time, up until he was about seven or so, that he looked the part of a physically fit young
boy. A real spunnort. One of those run-around, chase-after, throw-the-ball boys. One of
those keep-busy, play-with-friends boys. That was when they still lived in Fondleton.
But that life couldnt go on forever. All that is thin and healthy must go somewhere
to plump up. And that somewhere is this small mountain town of Apple Lake. Apple Lake
isnt all that bad. There are parts where decent folks live. There are some stores where those
decent people shop. And, once upon a time, there were schools and hospitals and
companies where decent people went to learn and get better and everything.
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When Derek and his family moved to Apple Lake, he was in second grade. That
much he can remember. When Derek and his family moved to Apple Lake, he was that cute
little boy. Fun-sized. Not yet super-sized.
When Derek and his family came to Apple Lake, he was happy. Oh, sure, he found
closets to hide his self-pity and depression that settled in with his chunkiness. But, those
closets werent big enough for Dereks increasing size. So, emotionally, he would move
from closet to closet. Stuck at times. He would grease himself out some days, just butter
himself up with false confidence and slip right out of that confined emotional state.
All this is to say, Derek has been a big boy for most of his remembering life. Most
of his memories show him carrying 50-100 pounds more baggage than his friends and
cousins he used to play with. But, either because of, or in spite of, this extra weight, he had
a sharp sense of humor.
He can remember walking home from school one day last year in seventh grade. He
was with some of his new friends, the ones he now hung out with because he started
coming out of his closets more, started showing people how funny he was, started being
himself. One of seventh grades most popular boys was walking home with Derek that
early evening. It was a lot of pressure. You know, like a job interview or something. Derek
wanted to do his best to impress this Mr.Popular, say all the right things, follow all the
unspoken conduct that would make this guy like him. This friend of his, this
highly-regarded boy, was one of those kids who looks cool from the moment they wake up.
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He didnt need to try. He was a trend-setter. If he woke up and didnt comb his hair in the
morning, every other boy in school would go for the messy look. If he forgot to wear a
belt one day because he was in a rush that morning, kids would start wearing their pants in
a saggy fashion. If he decided to wear one of his older brothers Phish t-shirts because he
wanted to be like his brother, guess who else came in the following week wearing their
siblings tie-died t-shirts. Everyone.
So, this guy was quite the VIP for Derek and his two middle-of-the road buddies.
Derek tried not to let this new guy throw him off too much. He tried so hard to stay out of
his closet, to stay with his new self, his goofy self. Well, whatever Derek said, the hot-shot
acquaintance approved. But a couple sentences would change Dereks adolescent mind-set.
It would change the way he saw himself and whether or not he wanted to stay hidden in
closets the rest of his life or try on his new wardrobe as a popular kid.
Derek. Youre like, so funny! Youd TOTALLY be the most popular kid in school
if you werent so fat.
That was it. His words of wisdom. Straight from the mouth of a king. They werent
even malicious, simply factual in his eyes. Derek could have it all: sense of humor, friends,
maybe even a girlfriend, if he could just lose that weight.
This is what Jody saw as she crept onto the catwalk. She didnt see Derek the
delightfully jolly middle-schooler. Chunky and closeted. She saw a new Derek, a creation
perhaps more hideous than any of the beasts she has seen roaming around or chained to the
dungeon of this school. She saw a trim, lean Derek.
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And although he is her boyfriend, she couldnt be less attracted to him and the
mutations he must have gone through to be thispopular new boy.
Chapter 27: The High Costs of Fame and Frame
WHY DEREK!?
Jody screams in her head and in her heart, but thankfully her hand catches the words
before they slip out. She cant believe her eyes. Is this another Vision? How did Derek
survive? And turn into this skinny version of himself? Then she got her answer.
Where will I find them, Doctor?
His voice is eager, not the same as when he really, really wanted a chocolate donut
from Everix Bakery. No, this eagerness is shaded with the colors of cowardice.
We have reports they are in this building. The bird girl shows up right at this very
spot on our chip-tracking system, but Jody
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So Jody is still untraceable, unfindable. Free for now. And Derek is helping The
Doctor find them. Jody doesnt know if Derek is familiar enough with the theater to realize
there is a hidden cubby up here in the catwalk. She prays he doesnt know. But then again,
she prays he will come up here. Jody is unsure whether she would punch Dereks lights out
or kiss him square on the lips and try to snap him out of his current daze.
Derek wasnt always susceptible to peer pressure, but somehow The Doctor found
his weak spot.
You must find them. You are fit now, you will have no excuses.
And with that The Doctor hobbles away. There appeared to be something wrong
with The Doctor. Jody could tell by the way he was walking, but she doesnt concern
herself with that now. Immediately, as if enhanced by some extra sensory perception, Derek
looks up to the catwalk where Jody is eavesdropping. She quickly rushes into the shadows
but it might have been too late. He had to have seen her.
Well, if Derek wants to find them, he will have to come and get them. Hell listen to
reasonwont he?
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Chapter 28: Television
If there was one thing Derek loved almost as much as food it was television. He
couldnt tell you how many afternoons and weekends he spent wasting awayor rather, the
opposite of wasting awayenlargingin front of a television. Some call it the electronic
babysitter, but for him, it was more. The electronic mother. The electronic nurturer and
friend. The one who made him laugh. Taught him new jokes. Accepted him.
Every day after school he would spend a healthy two or three hours watching some
of his favorite shows and movies. And every Friday afternoon was an adventure. Not out
on a hike in the woods (although occasionally this did happen) or out with his friends
looking for excitement. No, he would come home, throw his backpack on the couch, grab
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some Cheeze-aritos or whatever junk food he could find and click on the television to
embark on his quest.
The adventure wasnt anything exciting like solving the murder of some famous
person or tracking down the loot of some robber baron. No, the adventure was solving the
mystery of whether or not this weekend was a free premium channel weekend. They
happened often enough, about once every couple months, enough to keep Derek wanting
more.
Disney Channel (before it became a regular cable channel).
HBO.
Showtime.
Cinemax.
Whichever.
He pursued them like a safari huntsman tracking its prey, excited to watch some
new television for a change, perhaps catch a movie with some curse words or something
you wouldnt normally see on basic television. These things motivated him: junk food and
television. It was so much of who he was. He had become one of the millions of kids
hooked to the stuff. Like a drug, he needed it bad, couldnt go one day without it.
So, though Derek said No to peer pressure from his friends, he always gave in to
the electronic babysitter, the mother of entertainment, television.
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Jody knew how much he loved television. That was practically all the two of them
did together when they went to Dereks house. Watch T.V, eat chocolate chip cookies, and
hold hands.
Well, Jody never thought she would find herself in this position, but here she is. She
could let Derek come up here and drag the two girl-beasts back down to the gurneys and
hospital beds with the other hybrids, or she could try to stop him.
Before she could give it another thought, it dropped. It plummeted like a meteor
from the sky and burst into a thousand pieces. It crashed onto the stage as if it was part of
some outer-space-sci-fi production the middle school was putting on. It didnt hit Derek
though, thank goodness. But it did seem to shake him up a bit.
Perhaps that happens when someone throws a television at you from about twenty
feet up in the air.
Chapter 29: Normal
Derek didnt snap out of the trance The Doctor put him under, but he did show a
glint of his old self. The television was just a warning from Jody, but Derek took it as more.
Derek took it as a threat to his life. Derek took it as if Jody was trying to kill him. Was she?
Was she trying to kill her own boyfriend? No, this wasnt her boyfriend anymorewas it?
Wasnt he about to come up to this catwalk and feed her to The Doctor?
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Derek runs off stage. As quick as an actor who forgot his lines, he vanishes behind
the thick red curtain. Jody tries to follow him along the catwalk, but as soon as he is out
into the audience, he is gone.
What the
Jody cant believe her eyes. Has he really just vanished into thin air? No. Hes not
magical. The Doctor didnt give him the powers to turn invisible. All he gave Derek was
what was rightfully his, his health and fitness. Derek turned into a normal sized
eighth-grader. Normal. What is normal anyways? Wasnt being fat normal? Was skinny the
only normal? No, The Doctor hadnt turned Derek normal. In this modern day of
overweight kids, junk food and television and laziness, The Doctor merely turned Derek
into a healthy young man. And it was that healthy young man that vanished - - - dashed so
fast down the vomitorium aisles and is nowhere to be found.
Jody grows tense. She doesnt know where the real entrance to this catwalk is. She
and Nadya flew up here, you know, like normal 8th grade girls tend to do. Jody guessed
the entrance had to be on the far side of the catwalk. It obviously isnt on this side where
she and Nadya had slept, inside this small room.
Thats when she heard his footsteps. They were quick at first. Loud. Probably like
thunder to the imaginary audience below. Then they slowed. Had he seen her? Did he
stumble and fall? Why had he stopped? What was he going to do to her? To them? How
much of his kind soul had he given up to become this new, fit young man?
And then she saw him.
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Chapter 30: Threes Company
Jody doesnt want to hurt Derek. And she certainly isnt going to throw another one
of the television prompters at him. They were fastened in just a way that it was easy for her
to stand on one and hold onto the railing and watch the television fall below. But she
couldnt use that trick now that Derek was up here. On the catwalk. Creeping toward her.
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She scrambles for some sort of weapon. Or shield. She is unsure whether she should
be attacking him or protecting herself. She thinks back to how Derek plays chess. Tries to
remember what sort of strategies he taught her that day on their field trip to the ski hill.
Should she attack or protect? What would he do? Would he wait for the first strike, afraid
to lose his Queen, as he always did? Or has he turned into a completely new strategist
because of this new body he is trapped in?
Jody decides not to wait and find out. If he were going to attack he would have done
it by now. So, there was something the same about him. He is still reluctantperhaps kind?
Perhaps he does still love her?
Thats when they find them.
The hybrids barreled through the theater like the steel doors are made out of Legos.
The SabreDon leads the way with its mammoth head, followed by several of the beasts that
escaped The Laboratory:
The Polar Flamingo, bright pink and full-bear-sized (except for its clumsy,
handlebar thick legs).
The huge Lion-Squirrel, not quite a Griffon exactly, but equally intimidating as it
leaps and soars from seat to seat smelling for the stench of human and human-hybrid.
The Pterodact-Owl sniffs Jody and Derek out in seconds. It screeches as a message
to the hybrids below that their hunt is over. They have found their prey.
Jody knows now what she must do. It isnt Derek who is the enemy. She knows this
clearly because of the danger he is in from these hybrids. These hybrids have no
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conscience, no way to differentiate between those who work for The Doctor and those who
do not. You are either hybrid or you are a dessert to them.
Derek looks as if he is about to fly off the catwalk onto the Pterodact-Owl. Then
something comes over him, oh yes, probably the memory of how it turned out last time he
tried to jump on a moving pterodactyl/owl hybrid. Not too well.
Jody calls out, Derek, in here!
The two former lovers scramble down the catwalk just as the Pterodact-Owl strikes
the metal planks at Dereks feet. He leaps toward Jody, who reaches him just in time to
save him from falling back into the pit of hybrids forming below. The roars, snarls and
growls below are deafening, and with their hunger-cries is a horrid, beastly stench. It is like
going to the petting zoo except the pets are ten times the size of the children petting them.
And they eat children.
And Jody and Derek are those lucky children.
Jody pounds on the door to the room Nadya and she holed-up in last night.
Immediately, Nadya opens the hatch and the half-horse girl and Derek squeeze into
the small quarters, now made even smaller as three bodies try to fit in. It is roughly the size
of the vegetable crisper at the bottom of a refrigerator, if that helps you understand how
much room they have. Unless you dont eat vegetables, then youll have to use your
imagination.
Whats going on out there?!
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Nadya paces, her mind reconsidering the times her family spent in similar
near-death circumstances during the war.
Theyve found us, Jody replies.
The hybrids, Derek adds.
Weve got to get out of here, Jody says, needlessly.
How? Nadya and Derek say this in unison.
Nadya, isnt there another way out?
Nadya looks up. There. Above their heads is a discolored tile leading to the roof.
Ive never been up there. I dont know what it looks like or if Altnu has security forces up
there or what. And
She holds back the obvious pronunciation that neither Jody nor she will fit through
the small opening, not as half-beast anyways.
Derek seems to understand the predicament. Ill go. You two should be safe for a
few minutes. Ill look around and see how I can get you two out of here.
A half-ton prehistoric bird crashes into the door of the small room. The thud and its
accompanying screech pierce the hideouts thin metal walls.
And what makes us know we can trust you? What the heck are you doing here?
You looked like you were about to take me down to The Doctor two minutes ago.
Jodys hurt feelings seep through her watery eyes.
You are exactly right, Derek begins. Thats exactly what I was going to do. I
cant stand the thought of you living like this. Half beast. The Doctor is the only one who
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can save youboth. You have to know that.

So, what were you going to do?
This is Nadya interrogating now. What exactly was Derek going to do? What could
The Doctor do to help them? They are escapees. And evidence of the creations.
Why would The Doctor help us? We know too much. We are more of a threat to
him alivehed rather kill us than have us turned back to normal.
Babe, thats exactly why he wants to turn you back to normal. So that no one will
believe human hybrids ever existed.
Jody is unsure, but Derek doesnt wait to hear her protests. He turns his back on the
two half beast women and reaches for the escape hatch to the outside world.
Chapter 31: Sunrise
As soon as Dereks thin, fit self crawls out of the hatch leading onto the roof, he is
blinded. The sun is unusually bright. Or perhaps Derek has spent too long in Altnus lair.
The Doctor found Derek (after his heroically stupid attempt to jump on a flapping
pterodactyl) lying on a small ridge off the cliff. Derek was unconscious and didnt suspect
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The Doctor would ever rescue him. But The Doctor moves in mysterious ways. He always
has his own interests at heart and so brought Derek to Altnu.
The Doctors master plan was to use Derek as bait to find Jody. That worked easier
than he thought when they found out Jody and Nadya were stashed somewhere in the old
middle school auditorium. Still, The Doctor hadnt planned on the hybrids scaring the three
8th graders away. It turns out hybrids have their own interests as well - hunger.
Derek scans the rooftop for beastly hybrids that might tear him to shreds at any
moment. Seeing none, he yells down to Jody and Nadya,
The coast is clear.
Good. Now get us out of here! Jody wails above the repeated thrashing at the
metal door. The Pterodact-Owl is relentless; apparently, someone woke up on the wrong
side of the pre-historic nest this morning.
Okay
Derek retreats to the outside world. Theres no way he can get these two out of here.
Not on his own at least. He needs somethingor someone to help. In desperation he runs
around the rooftop looking for some sort of assistance. Nothing. No rope, no TNT, no
wrecking ball, no way to free his girlfriend (or is she his former girlfriend now?) and her
best friend.
The sun distracts him again. What did The Doctor say happens at sunrise? He was
talking about it over the phone while Derek was still recovering from his attempt at flight.
Something about the hybrids. Something happens at sunrise
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Derek abandons the sunrise mystery when he sees an answer to his more immediate
problem. A fire hose and axe alongside the chimneystack of the middle school roof. Now,
Derek is no body builder, but when he needs to assert his strength surely he will be able to
do so, right? Especially with this new build of his. Derek kicks open the small glass door
that holds the axe and hose and cautiously lifts the axe out of the case. Then he notices the
key was left inside the case and realizes he could have just unlocked the glass door and
saved a step, but that wouldnt have been as dramatic.
Derek grabs the axe with one hand and starts heading back toward the girls. The
axe, however, isnt budging. It seems to be fastened to the case somehow. After closer
inspection Derek notices the axe isnt locked in place. It is just heavy. So heavy Derek
attempts to remove it with both hands and barely knocks it out of the glass case. Okay, so
maybe Dereks new fitness didnt include increased strength. Still, isnt some adrenaline
supposed to be kicking in about now, turning him into superman or something? You know,
because he needs to save someone he loves. Derek looks at his watch. Still no adrenaline.
Must only work for mothers. He looks at the sun, almost rising completely.
He remembers now what it was that happened to the hybrids at sunrise.
Suddenly, full of the anticipated adrenaline, Derek yanks the axe over his shoulder
and rushes toward the hatch leading down to the girls.
BACK UP! he yells. And with one great swing Derek tears into the metallic side
of the hatch. It seems to be some sort of cheap aluminum and melts easily under the blade
of the axe. Derek, still fired up from knowing what will happen in mere moments when the
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sun rises, unleashes another WHACK! against the side of the hatch. The blow is terrific and
creates a manageable dent. Once more Derek pummels into the aluminum side as sweat
drips down his cheeks. He keeps at it for a minute straight.
Jody and Nadya are not exactly the helpless type and have barricaded the door
leading into the room with a small couch and some discarded lighting equipment. The
Pterodact-Owl hasnt called it quits either. It seems to sense the suns near rise and
repeatedly smashes its body into the wall of the catwalk room. To Jody and Nadyas
surprise, they hear something in addition to the thumping of the Pterodact-Owls wings.
The Squirrel-Lion seems to have found a way to fly itself up onto the catwalk-maybe by
flight or maybe by clawing onto the walls of the auditorium. Jody and Nadya dont much
care how that great beast managed such a feat. All they know is they want out.
Derek has fashioned a significant gash in the hatch, large enough for both horse-girl
and bird-girl to sneak through.
Just as Jody bends down to raise Nadya onto her shoulders, the thin wall leading to
the catwalk crashes down.
GO! IM COMING! JUST GET OUT! Jody screams like a commanding officer
to a reluctant soldier. Nadya scrambles out of the enlarged hatch and watches as Jody
attempts to fight the Lion-Squirrel once again.
I outsmarted you once, kitty. Ill do it again!
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The Lion-Squirrel seems to be in no mood to play and lunges at once for Jody.
However, her body seemed to expect it and she uses the Lions head as a springboard and
hurdles herself upward toward Derek and Nadyas outreached arms.
RWAAAAOOOOAR! The Lion-Squirrel howls in anguish. But before it or the
Pterodact-Owl can maneuver their way out of the enlarged hatch, the sun rises.
Chapter 32: So, What The Heck Happens At Sunrise?
And with the sunrise is a glorious sight. Not like a firework show or paint spilling
across the sky or some kind of metaphor like that. No, this was real. With the sunrise
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brought a new twist to Jody and Dereks (and Nadyas) story. With the sunrise nature is
restored, balance is made, life returns to the way it was.
Through some miracle of life as we now know it, all hybrids, for one split moment,
are returned to their natural forms at sunrise. Not long enough for them to enjoy an espresso
and read the New York Times. Nor is it so short that the hybrids dont notice something
changing, or rather, returning. In the same span of time that Pink turns to Orange, however
long that takes, that is when balance is restored. No longer are they prisoners of
dual-creation. However, when Orange turns to Yellow, the hybrids are once again chained
to another life form.
So why was Derek so rushed to remove Jody and Nadya from the hatch at sunrise?
It wasnt the hybrids he was afraid of, just the opposite. He was hoping beyond hope he
might witness some sort of transformation in these two girls. He was praying the sun might
return the horse-girl back to normal, back to his girlfriend (if she forgave him for sort of
working with the evilest doctor that ever lived, that is).
Now the Red is fading to Pink and Derek holds Jody tight. She assumes he is in a
state of shock and so embraces the moment and the young man. Derek stares at Jodys
hooves, expecting some wink of change, but soon the sun turns Orange and nothing
happens. Both of Jodys horse feet remain; there is no flash of humanity. They are as
beastly as ever.
But what he didnt notice was a single feather floating above his head, softly,
gliding through the early morning air across the roof. It came from Nadyas wing. It had
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burst off in that moment of opportunity. Derek had not noticed it, but Nadya had felt it. As
if she were herself again, she felt sadness and grief and love and dreams and all of life
rolled heavily into a few split seconds - all of lifes emotions bottled into one promising
moment.
Nadya, are you okay?
Her best friend gazes into the sunrise. Yes. I
She is unable to express the change or understand its relevance. But Derek knows.
Did you feel something, Nadya? A moment of change?
Yes. As if I were myself again, as if everything inside me were human again. How
did you know?
I may know how you can return to normal. But...itll take a trip back to The Lab.
The 8th grade girls look at each other. Just last year, their major concerns were
whether or not anyone noticed their new haircut or a stain in their skirt or the pimple on
their forehead (which they feared was the size of that big red Kool-Aid guy). Now they are
concerned with a different appearance - whether they are human or beast.
Im ready, Jody asserts.
I dont want to - but it may be our only shot.
Chapter 33: Derek Plays Doctor
When the 8th graders return to The Laboratory they find it completely rehabilitated.
Everything has been restored the crumbling roof and fascia, the front wall, everything.
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This brings Derek relief, for what he needs must have survived the beastly outbreak from
yesterday.
What the 8th graders dont realize is that they are not alone.
Wait! Jody warns.
What? Do you need to take a manure stop? Nadya jokes. She is in high spirits
after finally being released from the Altnu dungeon.
Speaking of that, Jody. How do you use the bathroom? Derek asks bluntly.
Well, if it is anything like me, I just use my newfound animal instincts and squat
on the windshield of a car Nadya smiles.
Nice, Derek approves.
Gross, Jody denies.
Are you denying your animal tendencies? Nadya wonders.
No. That description was gross. Defecation is normal. But I am afraid your birdly
ways are a bit repulsive for my taste, Jody says with a false air.
Oh, yeah? Nadya nudges.
Yeah. If you had any taste and civility you would do your business equestrian-like.
I simply plop whatever I want behind me like Im marching in the St. Paddys Day Parade.
Okay. I stand corrected. THAT was gross! Derek laughs.
No. That was hilarious! Nadya joins in the laughter.
The three of them enjoy their 8th grade humor and the relief from the dread that lies
ahead. Jody, ever the strong one, breaks their silliness and walks up to The Lab door.
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You guys ready? she asks as she begins to punch in a key code.
As well ever be, Nadya summons.
Okay, lets find whatever Derek is looking for and get to work. The Doctor will
probably be back soon, and Id rather not run into him until we are ready.
And with that warning, they find not just a laboratory filled with medical machines,
equipment, and unknown doohickeys. They find the man himself, The Doctor, asleep near
the front door. Apparently, he was hoping to keep guard but failed.
Jody gestures to The Doctor. Derek and Nadya freeze instantly. This is what were
going to do Jody begins in hushed tones.
As she whispers her idea, a small animal friend pokes its head through The Lab
door. The surprisingly friendly Prairie-Bat nudges itself near the eighth graders.
Jody and Derek move fast to execute the plan and look for the proper medication
for The Doctor. Derek finds some of it in one of the tubes marked, Emergency Sedation
Only and quickly jabs it into The Doctors leg. As he jolts upward, the three eighth graders
leap onto him, keeping him from leaving. And, in a moment, The Doctor is once more fast
asleep.
CHAPTER 34: About Those Hooves of Yours
The three former 8th graders are now on a time limit. The sedation injection says it
will last four hours. Derek is no doctor but he was The Doctors only human assistant for
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the past few procedures. He calls to his patients when he can no longer put off the
inevitable.
JodyNadyacan you two come over here, please?
Derek is bundled up in personal protective equipment: rubber gloves, a surgeons
mask and smock; and he even has those cute little booties on his feet (that stop you from
slipping on the puddles of blood during surgery that would be embarrassing).
I cant do this, Derek says, his hands shaking as they try to sterilize a forceps.
Sure you can, Jody encourages. Listen, its not like we have a lot of choices. Im
not asking for a miracle, but we need to show The Doctor he doesnt control us. We need to
provide some sort of hope for the thousands of people in this town that will end up looking
like me in a couple weeks. We need to stop that from happening. This must be done.
Well, why dont we just destroy The Lab again? Derek asks. But he already
knows the answer.
Destroying The Lab will prevent others from suffering, but it wont help us now.
Nadya places one of her feathered hands on Dereks shoulder. You can do this, Derek.
Okay. Lie down please. Both of you. Derek assists each hybrid lady friend to a
hospital bed.
Im going to have tostrap you down. Okay? I mean, I cant have your body
convulsing or anything during the operation.
Thats fine with me, Jody permits.
Strap away! Nadya smiles.
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Derek forces a smile but it quickly fades as he locks his friends into place before
removing their feet and wings.
I wish there was another way Derek whispers as his two friends put on their
facemasks and suck down their anesthesia cocktails. They both smile at him and close their
eyes within seconds.
Derek is lost. He truly has no idea where to start. If this were Jody in his position,
she would figure out how to get them out of this mess. But, unfortunately, he just
anesthetized her along with the one man who actually knows how to do these surgeries.
There he goes acting before thinking again.
Thats it! Derek perks up. If I force The Doctor to do these surgeriesor
somehow convince him
Derek checks the clock. 8:30 in the morning. Its not that Derek isnt a morning
person. But performing a double transplant on two of his animal-human friends at this hour
is a bit unusual for him. Plus hes tired. He hasnt slept in almost a day. Not good. His
hands keep shaking. He tries to hold them still, hoping this will also still his mind.
No luck. He knows what he has to do.
Derek walks over to The Doctors medical cabinet and withdraws a small bottle of
Alertol, a medication he has seen The Doctor use to suddenly wake patients up.
He crushes the pill and pours it into a half drank cup of coffee. Then, as if he were
force-feeding a baby, he spoon-feeds the wake-up medicine to perhaps the most malicious
doctor who ever lived.
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Chapter 35: The Doctor Does Dereks Bidding
WhatWhat are you doing, Derek?

The Doctor can see Derek has strapped him down into one of the electronic
wheelchairs. It is one of those wheelchairs controlled with a joystick by the person sitting in
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it; only this one has been rigged by a remote. Derek wheels The Doctor around and around,
touting his control over the wheelchair-strapped Doctor.
What is this, Derek? I demand answers!
The Doctor is more than confused; he is scared. Derek can see the fear in The
Doctors eyes and slows the wheelchair down so they can talk.
You are going to do my bidding, Derek demands.
Your bidding? Have you become someones criminal arch-nemesis? Really?
Bidding? Why not, I am going to do what you say or you have to do what I say or
something more general? Whats with the sinister undertones? I believe that is more my
realm, wouldnt you agree?
This is no time for jokes, Doctor. To prove he is serious, Derek childishly rotates
The Doctor in a couple more circles.
Okay, seriously, Im gonna be sick, The Doctor groans.
You are going to fix Jody and Nadya.
Nadya? The bird girl? And if I dont?
Lets just say no one will be able to fix you when Im done here.
A threat? From such a young man. Are you sure you want to go down the road of
threatening violence? You know that means you have to follow up. Thats a lot for a 12
year old to burden.
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Im 14. Im starting to grow peach fuzz below my nose. I can handle it. Now, are
you going to help or should I just put you back to sleep? Maybe a sleep you wont wake up
from?
You wouldnt hurt a fly.
The Doctor doesnt know Dereks pain. He doesnt know the bullying and incessant
name-calling he has been the brunt of for so many years. The Doctor does not know Derek
has taken out all his anger from bullies on his sisters. Throwing rocks at them. Bruising
them. Ridiculing them. The Doctor truly doesnt know what Derek is capable of. Derek
isnt proud, it is the cycle of violence he has been sucked into. The Doctor has no idea how
short Dereks temper can be and how easily he can lose control of his emotions and his
actions.
Derek grabs a pair of surgical scissors off the nearby medical cart. Without thinking
of the consequences, indeed, driven by the torment of his bullies, Derek stabs the scissors
into The Doctors leg.
OW! My injured leg! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?
Hurting a fly. Derek remotely wheels the tied up, bleeding Doctor to the sedated
bodies of Jody and Nadya.
Now tell me how to fix my friends.
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END OF BOOK ONE

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MOUNTAIN OF DOOM:

Approx 20,000 words

Chapter One: Survival

Chapter Two: The Doctor

Chapter Three: The Laboratory

Chapter Four: Universal Health Care

Chapter 5: Breaking Out

Shhhh. Derek, whats the matter?

Chapter 8: Here kitty kitty

RWAIM A BIG, OLD, FAT LIONOAR! HA! HA!

Chapter 9: A Little Help

Chapter 10: The Dash

Chapter 11: The Summit

Chapter 12: A Superior Race

Chapter 13: Separation Anxiety

Chapter 14: Collaboration

Chapter 15: Kid Prodigy

Chapter 16: The Remnants of The Lab

Chapter 17: Nadya

Chapter 18: A Friend in Need

Chapter 19: Nadya-bird

Chapter 20: The Henchmen

Chapter 21: Altnus Lair

Chapter 22: The Voices

Creations. Hybrids. Collaborations. You go by many names now. Though we will

Chapter 23: Loss of Humanity

Nadya turns to Jody, whose eyes are glossing over, distantly.

Chapter 24: The Auditorium

Theres no way we can fit through, Jody insists.

Chapter 25: The Visions

Im going back out there. The Doctors out there.

Chapter 26: The Weight

Chapter 27: The High Costs of Fame and Frame

Chapter 28: Television

Chapter 30: Threes Company

can save youboth. You have to know that.

Chapter 31: Sunrise

Chapter 32: So, What The Heck Happens At Sunrise?

CHAPTER 34: About Those Hooves of Yours

Chapter 35: The Doctor Does Dereks Bidding

WhatWhat are you doing, Derek?

END OF BOOK ONE

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