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www.fhm.com.

ph
JAN UARY 2017

MUSIC

TECH

TRENDSPOTTING
M ON EY

SEX

#fhmKim

ISSUE TO
1 MORE
200

3,400,000
2,000,000
639,000
AN D NOW A

VE RY B IG
CE LE B R ITY

Kim
Domingo

January 2017

CONTENTS
F E AT U R E S

58 W H A T S U P
I N 2017?
Our resident shaman
makes her predictions
62 F R E S H
SOU N D S TO
LISTEN FOR
These 10 new bands
will see you through
the new year
68 H O W T O
GET RICH
Practical tips on how
to save P150,000 in 12
months
72 P I N G
M E D I N A S
METHOD
What makes this
brilliant actor tick?
76 TA N D U AY
G I R L F H AY E
LOR E N ZO
gives you the prenup shoot of your
dreams

PHOTOGRAPHY: MARK NICDAO

COVE R
STORY

TA K E
TWO
Sexy, sultry Kim Domingo
smashes with her second
time on our cover

January 2017

VERGE

10 L I G H T I T U P
Theres more to
fireworks than
burning money
1 4 M O D E R N - D AY
OGRES
Social media trolls
know just how to ruin
your day

PULSE

GENT

1 7 SEQUEL
SHOWDOWN
Which movie sequels
are worth your money
this year?

28 N O - W I N
D AT I N G
SCENARIOS
Do these and youll
always be the loser

1 8 P O P C U LT U R E
PI N S
Tiny but with lots of
attitude

3 0 YOUR LOVE
LIFE 2.0
Re-strategize how
you ask out girls

2 0 TH E S OU N D
CON N OI S S E U R S
Music as audiophiles
hear it

3 2 CANT
UNDERSTAND
WOMEN?
Neither can Johnoy
Danao

24 PULSE BABE
MARA ALBERTO
Funny really is the
new sexy

3 3 CELEBRITY
ONE-NIGHT STAND
How juicy is a nostrings-attached
fling?

FITS

BOOST

84 GREENMINDED
Let the Pantone color
of the year style you

94 T H E N I S SAN
G T- R
Rides like a missile,
feels like power itself

86 F L O W E R
GUIDE
Blooming good looks

9 8 W H AT S YO U R
G ROSS E ST
HAB IT?
A doctor explains
how itll make you
sick
1 02 B B Q PA R T Y,
A N YO N E ?
Learn how to man the
grill like a boss

PHOTOGRAPHY: ARTU NEPOMUCENO, EVE BASWEL, IAN GUEVARRA; ILLUSTRATION: WARREN ESPEJO

CONTENTS

FROM THE EDITOR

Mark my word: Kim Domingo is going


to be huge in 2017.
This early shes off to a roaring start. First, as Ginebra San Miguels
calendar girl, and complementing that with this, her sophomore FHM
appearance that is so impressively beautiful its almost the equivalent of a
religious second coming.
No, I am not exaggerating or hard-selling you in any way. If you have
her debut issue and compare it with her work here, youd be awed as well by
how elegant and flawless Kim is, so unlike the one youve been accustomed
to. Whereas before she was a new sensation we could all immerse ourselves
in, maybe until the next one came along, now Kim is saying 'I'm in the big
leagues now and Im staying on the A-list. We strongly agree.
This is not to say she wasnt already big when we debuted her last year.
Her social media numbers (where she first cultivated her fame)were already
solid. But who among the current crop of young stars can claim to have
tripled those numbers in less than a year of just doing one major magazine
cover and a gag-show residency, plus a handful of light acting duties on TV?
When we began talks with her network, GMA 7, for this cover we could
already sense the premium they had put on their new talent. They were
already looking ahead to a time when Kim would be this generations
Pantasya ng Bayan in the same way that Joyce Jimenez was two decades ago.
Come to think of it, both women do share a quality that captures the male
fantasy with such power, apart from the obvious: there's a raw sexuality in
them, but also something quite disarming. Maybe a trace of naivet? A whiff
of innocence? You just cant quite capture it, but it's there. Joyce had it in her
heyday. Kim certainly does, too.
The only difference, I guess, is that Kim belongs to the new age of fame.
Today, everyone can have it, and not a few are practically begging for it on
their social media accounts. But Kim has it all figured out. Kim is riding it
high.

What FHMers
have been up
to this month
Allan H. (second from
right) and his bandmates
in The Late Isabel getting
some street cred from
legend Ely Buendia at a
'70s Bistro gig

ALLAN P. HERNANDEZ
Acting Editor in Chief
allan.hernandez@summitmedia.com.ph

I S B R O U G H T T O Y O U B Y. . .
Acting Editor in chief Allan P. Hernandez
Team Art Director Paul C. Villariba
Associate Art Director John Laurence O. Patulan
Assistant Managing Editor Pong M. Castillo
Associate Style Editor Mikey Ashlie L. Mahinay
Editorial Assistant Chise A. Alcantara
Contributing Editor Cecile J. Baltasar
Celebrity Coordinator Allan Altera
A N D F U T U R E - P R O O F E D B Y. . .
Web Editor in chief Anton D. Umali
Staff Writer John Paulo Aguilera, Mary Rose A. Hogaza,
Khatrina Bonagua
Video Production Specialist Eve Baswel
Team Editor Allan A. Madrilejos
WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM...
Words Kyle Edralin, Maura Rodriguez, Miguel Escobar, Jonjon
Bautista, Adrian Arcega, Victoria Vizcarra, Stef Dela Cruz
Illustrations Melvin Calingo, James Andres, Carlo Maala, Warren
Espejo, Louis Arenas, Borg Sinaban Pictures Louie Aguinaldo, Ejay
Leung, Kurt Alvarez, Andreo Esguerra, Mark Nicdao, Mark Jesalva,
Niko Villegaz, Jerico Montemayor, Dairy Darilag, Artu Nepomuceno,
Ian Guevarra Styling/Makeup/Hair Debra Bernales, AJ Alberto,
Naf Candelaria, Meg Manzano, Janina Dizon, Gerry Penaso, Rhina
Montemayor, Geevee Villagarcia, Iwa Ajinomoto, Mark Baquiran,
Georm Imperial, Claudio G

8 FH M JANUARY 2017

F H M I N T E R N AT I O N A L
N ETWOR K
International Director Simon Greves
International Digital Director
Gary Broughton International General
Manager Mark Beard International
Digital Manager Graham Kirk
International Content Executive
Ryan Chambers International Digital
& Content Executive Erin Viljoen
International Technical Administrator
John Goodchild International Editors
(Australia) Guy Mosel, (China) Jacky
Jin, (Czech Republic) Dalibor Demel,
(France) Laurent Giraud, (Germany) Hans
Fuchs, (Holland) Sander Kersten, (India)
Kabeer Sharma, (Indonesia) Richard
Sam Bera, (Latvia) Sandris Metuzals,
(Malaysia) Rajesh Taluar, (Norway) Martin
Thronsen, (Philippines) Allan Madrilejos,
(Romania) Paul Breazu, (Russia) Slava
Rovner, (Singapore) David Fuhrmann
Lim, (Slovenia) Uros Majcenovic, (Spain)
Rafael Benitez, (Taiwan) Saffron Lee,
(Thailand) Jakaphatchara Buranabutr,
(Turkey) Berk Iybar
SUMMIT MEDIA
President Lisa Gokongwei-Cheng
Publisher Edna T. Belleza
VP for Operations Hansel dela Cruz
Junior Associate Publisher
Aeus Kevin Reyes Deputy Group Digital
Publisher Amina Rillo Web Business
Operations Manager Dennison Ko
Web Programmer Christopher Porto
Production Director Elizabeth Rellis
Production Coordinator Arnel Laigo
Production Graphic Artist Louis Arenas
Administrative Services Manager

Whilma M. Lopez Admin Assistants


Michiel Lumabi, Marlyn Miguel
ADVERTISING
Group Advertising Director Florence
Bienvenido Adv. Director-Key Accounts
Group Regie Uy Adv. Manger Maiza
G. Mueco Key Account Specialists
Joey Anciano, Junn de las Alas, George
Canseco III Senior Account Manager
(Print) Bem Caharian, JJ Dinglasan
Senior Account Manager (Digital)
Lucas Reyes Junior Account Managers
(Print) Melinda Kitane-San Diego, Junior
Account Managers (Digital) Onnie Del
Mundo, Dianne Suegay, Angela Lagahid,
Adv. Executive Assistant
Rita Barbacena Key Accounts Assistants
Maricel Adaniel, Chinggay M. Cabit
Adv. Assistants Lorena Santiago
Adv. Trafc Supervisors Eliziel del Rio
E V E N T S D E PA R T M E N T
Associate Marketing Director Arlo
Vicencio Assistant Marketing Manager
Rica Lozada Senior Marketing
Associate Jed Constantino Junior
Marketing Associates Rachelle Castillo,
Jennifer Dayo, Kevin Palma, Charmie
Abarquez, Kay Calleja
M E D I A R E L AT I O N S
Media Relations Manager Grace
Enriquez Media Relations Associate
Jensine Bolinao, Via Gonzales
TRADE MARKETING
Trade Marketing Ofcer Jamie Islo Trade
Marketing Associates Hannah Roque
Trade Marketing Assistants Joylyn
Guinto, Raven Dorado
C R E AT I V E S O L U T I O N S
Managing Editor Marco Sumayao

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Assistant Managing Editor Franch


Bustamante Editorial Assistant
Therese Sta. Maria Art Directors
Jerome de Dios, Rey Etable, Juan Carlo
Maala, Teddy Garcia
C I R C U L AT I O N
Deputy National Circulation Manager
Glenda Gil Circulation Manager-GMA
Noreen Sescon-Peligro Asst. Manager
For Print And Online Distribution Ulyssis
Javier Key Accounts Group Head Vivian
Manahan, Charlotte Barlis Subscription
Group Head Carla Soriano Key Accounts
Specialists Jennifer Tolentino, Alfredo
Toledo Jr., Harold William Rey, Rejie
Paquibot, Marjorie Yu Newsstand
Supervisor Joel Valdez Distributor
Specialists Kim Sarmiento, Roberto
Revilla, Elaine Einosas, Eric Ferdinand
Gasatan, Bee Datinguinoo, Aeron
Nolasco Junior Sales Representatives
John Lakhi Celso, May Ann Ayuste,
Brylle Gonzales, Melrose Tamboong,
Julie Dunn Bantan Sales Coordinator
Jennyfer Marcelo Online Distribution
Assistant Mark Jocell Manio Subscription
Coordinators Nathaniel Embiado,
Ariel Rivera, Ma. Glenda Uchi, Annalyn
Arambulo Subscription Telemarketer
Jon Maynard Ortiz Circulation Admin
Supervisor Marie Lenn Reyes Circulation
Admin Assistants Elnie Marie Delos
Santos, Lizel Tumali
LOG I STICS
Logistics Manager Norman Campo
Logistics Ofcer Lorie Francisco
Logistics Supervisors Fidel Mitra, Marx
Barroga

www.fhm.com.ph

January 2017

REACTIONS

A GOOD YEAR
I nally completed my FHM collection this 2016, but apparently you guys
were saving the best for last. This issue is denitely my favorite of the year.
I love Ellen!
Reymand De Guzman, via Instagram
ERR SO? JUST
KIDDING !

GIRL CRUSH

TREATING YOU RIGHT

Dreams do come true! Im so happy to


nally see my idol, role model, and girl crush
Ms. Ellen Adarna make her return in FHM ,
right in time for Christmas! The shots are
amazing especially the two cover photos,
great write-up, and as usual, your layouts
are looking ne! Heres to more jawdropping covers. Kudos to the FHM team!

FHM knows how to treat their readers


during the holiday season bringing back
one of the sexiest cover girls this magazine
has had in their more than sixteen
years of existence. We nally have Ellen
Adarna in her rightful spot on their front
pageshowing off her luminosity and
voluptuousness like a real forest nymph.
Franz Tantiongco, via Facebook

P.S. I have another girl crush and idol,


though: Ms. Arci Muoz. Hope you can have
her on FHM . When you do, I'll be rst in line
at the bookstands.
Janine Banday, via Facebook

/FHM.PH

www.fhm.com.ph

STRONG AND FREE


Witnessing Ellen Adarna bask in the glory
of complete freedom. Welcome back to the
pages of FHM , Ellen Adarna.
John Eric, via Instagram

@FHMPHILOFFICIAL

/FHMPHIL

I bought home a copy of your


December issue and after
explaining to my wife that I bought
it strictly because of the articles,
I gave it a quick read and I just
wanna point out that in the Pulse
section about the new Rogue One
movie, you spelled Jyn Erso as Jyn
Orso. I plead guilty about being
geeky about these things. Still, best
wishes to your magazine. Hoping
for more pics of hot babes, and of
course more articles!
Ken Isabelo Leones, via
Facebook

FHM@SUMMITMEDIA
.COM.PH

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6F & 7F ROBINSONS
CYBERGATE CENTER
TOWER 3 PIONEER
COMPLEX, PIONEER ST.,
MANDALUYONG CITY
1550

JANUARY 2017 FH M 9

10 FH M JANUARY 2017

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V
Verge
HOW TO SOU N D

R EAL SMART
Edited by CHISE ALCANTARA
chise.alcantara@summitmedia.com.ph

When theres
smoke
Two things we learned while
trying to shoot reworks: First,
its considered disturbing
the peace when you set off
reworks if its not done during
holidays even when you do it
in the vacant lot beside your
house, according to manong
tanod; second, that if all else
fails #vapelife will save the day.
Who needs fancy pyrotechnics
when you have makeshift humansmoke machines to provide the
combustible atmosphere?
PHOTOGRAPHY: EVE BASWEL

Verge
I M CHAR G I N G MY
F I R EWOR K
A large part of rework
development goes
into making electronic
reworks. These are
usually used for indoor
purposes, especially
during large celebrations
such as weddings or
corporate events.

R U B B I NG TH E
W R ON G WAY
If you ever end up
working with or around
reworks, someone will
probably tell you to wear
cotton and/or denim at
your workplace. Thats
not just them pulling
a newbie prank on
you. Synthetic material
contains static electricity,
which could set off
recrackers.

I N F O R M E R

Light em up
HERES SOME TRIVIA TO SPARK YOUR BRAIN THE NEXT
TIME YOU SEE FIREWORKS
WORDS: K YLE EDR ALIN
SPECIAL THANKS TO DR AGON FIREWORKS INC

S H E LLI N G OU T
According to research
from the Smithsonian,
China may have come
up with the ingredients
for reworks, but it was
actually the Italians who
had the idea of putting
them in the ice cream
cone-like shells that we
use today.

B L U E BA L L S
There was another
discovery that the Italians
came up with, says the
Smithsonian. They gured
out that adding balls of
metallic components to
reworks could produce
different colors aside
from the usual yellow and
orange.

M OVE OVE R , K ATY


PE R RY
The pop star isnt the
only one to have made
a famous song about
reworks. German
composer George
Frideric Handel did it rst
with his Music For The
Royal Fireworks in 1749.
Unfortunately, it was a
few centuries too early
for Billboard Top 100.

B U T WA IT,
T H E R E S M OR E
The rework business
in the Philippines
doesnt peak only
during the New Years
festivities. Fireworks
are actually in demand
for the entire year: for
estas, weddings, and
even company events,
according to Astronomo.

B E ST T IT L E E VE R
There was a position
in the English royal
court with the title Fire
Master of England. It
was awarded to the
best rework-maker
in England by Queen
Elizabeth I herself. Were
betting it was given to the
Elizabethan ancestor of
Michael Bay.

B OOM, PA- LEA K S


Have you ever wondered
how reworks made it
to Europe from China?
A Jesuit missionary
living in Beijing leaked
methods and ingredients
to the Paris Academy of
Sciences around 1750.
Its one of the earliest
known instances of an
explosive leak.

12 FH M JANUARY 2017

EA R LY B I R D,
I V E CO M E TO
BA R G A I N
Sales for New Year
reworks in the Philippines
start as early as
Novemberbut theres no
point in getting them early.
Factory-made reworks
never increase in price,
following a at rate for
the entire year, according
to Connie Astronomo,
Marketing Ofcer of
Dragon Fireworks Inc.

G ON G H EY FAT
CH OY
When they say everything
is made in China, they
arent kidding. Even most
of our own reworks sold
in places like Binondo
are smuggled imported
from China and
Taiwan. So make
sure youre buying
DTI (Department
of Trade and
Industry)approved
reworks!

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Verge
EXPLAI N E R

Trigger warning
PROFESSIONAL TROLLS ARE LEARNING TO BAIT
EVEN THE CALMEST OF USERS INTO THE FLAME
WORDS: CHISE ALCANTARA

Quantity content
I have other jobs
besides this. I spend
three hours of my
morning [doing
research] and two to
three [more hours]
writing articles that
will be posted on
our website. Im
also in charge of
preparing comments
and responses for
different scenarios that
will be copy-pasted by
another team in case
someone bashes
the article. I dont
really care about the
issues, says David.

Everybody on the Internet has experienced


Internet trolling but only a few people know how
much deception goes into each post. David is a
social media content editor. He leads a research
team whose sole purpose is to bash celebrities,
political gures, and other websites. What they
write will be copy-pasted by other teams that
comment on pages of targeted media entities.
Many of these trolls could care less about
the issues they talk about online and are
indifferent towards the propagranda theyre
promoting. Apparently, its all just business in
the new age of trolling.

7UDFFUHDWHGE\'DYLGVPDQWHDP

240

24

5,000

20,000

300

Jokes beat facts


When ghting the
likes war, humor
will always be your
most valuable ally. I
personally put strong
one-liners into my
comment pool that
will be relatable to the
likers on our page.
Ad hominem attacks
usually resonate with
our readers, says
David.

Overstate the
obvious
Having people who
agree with almost
everything you post
makes it a lot easier
to sensationalize
happenings. Also,
sensationalizing
things from a certain
angle gives your post
the advantage of
being the rst to write
about it in that way,
says David.

Dont get too


attached
Most commenters
that challenge
the credibility of
[our] articles and
comments will most
probably be correct,
but that doesnt
change anything.
Each [of our articles]
is written to have
the most impact and
engagement possible.
[We cant] get worked
up if [users] reveal
that what [we] wrote
was inaccurate
because [we] already
knew that was highly
probable from the
start, says David.

Understand your audience


Including words that involve
nationalism (Philippines,
bayani, bigay-dangal),
revelation (revealed, fake,
exposed), and even bible
verses in your titles make
articles very likeable and
shareable for most Filipinos.
Some of our readers dont
even read the articles as
shown by our view to like
and share ratio, which makes
selling ads a bit harder, says
David.

14 FH M

JANUARY 2017

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FH M
COM ICS

Cabin fever

Verge
STORY AND ART: MELVIN CALINGO

SOMETHINGS CAN'T REALLY BE LOST

#11

STILL MOVING

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JANUARY 2017 FH M 15

P
Pulse
YO U R G U I D E TO
EVERYTHING
TRENDING
Edited by PONG M. CASTILLO
pong.castillo@summitmedia.com.ph

TO B E
CONTINUED

Sequel showdown
WE GIVE YOU A CLEAR-CUT GUIDE TO THE HITS AND MISSES IN 2017S WAR OF
THE FRANCHISE FOLLOW-UPS
WORDS: ANTON D. UMALI

T H E M OV I E

TH E G I ST

WHATS NEW?

PERFECT FOR

Vin Diesel returns


in tight tank tops to
save the world from a
new deadly weapon
of mass destruction.

The villain is played by


Chinese martial artist
Donnie Yen, because
we all know that the
Chinese are the new
superpower, right?

Cleansing your palette


from all the sappy
rom-coms your girls
been dragging you to.
Explosions, car chases,
and gun ghts: hell yes!

See it, if only to


witness Samuel
L. Jackson giving
another one
of his mouthy
monologues.

BDSM acionado
Christian Grey
seduces the not-soinnocent Anastasia
Steele back into his
life for another round
of spank and wank!

Nothing much. This is


pretty much the rst
lm, only steamier,
raunchier, and more
softcore porn-y than
the last.

Repressed
housewives and
spinsters who want
an upgrade from
their trashy romance
novels.

Skip it, unless


youre into leather
and all that S&M
jazz.

D IARY OF
A WIMPY
KID:
THE LONG
HAU L

Wimpy Greg nally


gets to challenge
his wimpy-ness
elsewhere: on a road
trip with the fam!

Chaos in the form


of naughty pigs and
familial drama.

Taking your own


wimpy kid on a dadand-son bonding
night. Do it and earn
the title of Wimpy
Father of the Year.

Cute. Wholesome.
Try not to snore.

ANNABELLE
2

A dollmaker with a
tragic past must deal
with an orphan-killing
doll from hell.

Nuns and wayward


children add to the
already-spooky
vibe.

Cuddling in terror
with the missus.

More fear-inducing
jumpscares from a
demonic inanimate
object. Yikes.

P I R AT E S
OF THE
CA R I B B E A N :
DEAD MEN
TELL NO
TA L E S

Capt. Jack Sparrow


is back, this time in
search of the Trident
of Poseidon.

Javier Bardem
lends his Spanish
bravado as
Sparrows rival,
Captain Salazar.

Mocking Johnny
Depps burgeoning
lack of artistic
range.

With its overplayed


antics, this galleon
is turning out to be
a sinking ship.

RESIDENT
EVIL:
THE
FINAL
CHAPTER

More zombies threaten


Alice and crew in the
wake of Resident Evil:
Retribution (which
were sure you didnt
even watch anymore).

Its in 3D, ensuring


you get all sorts
of nauseated by
this oversaturated
series.

Gaming addicts who


like to blow shit up.

Milla Jovovich
kicking undead ass
is the only saving
grace of this tired
franchise.

Woody and Buzz


go on a journey in
search of romance.

Academy Award
winning actress
Patricia Arquette
is slated to voice a
new character.

Reminiscing about
all those toys youve
forgotten from your
childhood.

Has prolic Pixar


director John
Lasseter ever let
you down?

Primates battle
humans in an epic
war of evolutionary
proportions.

This time around,


main ape Caesar
gets to ride on a
horse!

Going ape-shit
because of the
outstanding
storytelling and
computer graphics.

Since the rst two


in the reboot series
were compelling
enough, this trilogy
bookender isnt
monkeying around.

xXx:
RETURN OF
XANDER
CAG E

FIFTY
SHADES
DARKER

TOY
STORY
4

WAR
FOR THE
PLANET
OF THE
APES

THE VERDICT

Pulse
Cubone
handmade pin,
P200
Lit metal pin, pack
of two pins for P499,
Factorie, SM Megamall

Gameboy
handmade pin,
P200
Tamagochi
handmade pin,
P200
Chocnut pin,
P250, COUCH

Procrastination
pin, P45, Ella Lama,
Common Room,
Power Plant Mall
Nintendo
controller
handmade pin,
P200

PI N

-T E R

Leonardo Di
Caprio pin, P400,
Rosehound,
Floppy disk metal pin
pack, pack of two pins
for P499, Factorie,
SM Megamall

E ST

San Miguel Pale


Pilsen pin, P250,
COUCH

Wear your
pop art on
your sleeve

Rene Requiestas
pin, P250,
COUCH
Overthinker pin,
P45, Ella Lama,
Common Room,
Power Plant Mall

WE ROUND UP THE STYLISH,


FUNNY, AND WITTY PINS THAT ARE
SURE CONVERSATION STARTERS

WORDS AND STYLING: MAURA RODRIGUEZ


PHOTOGRAPHY: LOUIE AGUINALDO

S2PID LUV pin,


P250, COUCH

Green Cross pin,


P250, COUCH
Cassette Tape pin,
P250, COUCH

Jollibee
pin, P250,
COUCH

Coffee cup pin,


P400, Rosehound,

Pizza pin, P250,


COUCH

Cigarettes pin,
P500, Rosehound,

Sha Erandio, @shaerandio on Instagram; COUCH, @cooouch on Instagram; mytickertapeparade, @mytickertapeparade on Instagram

Kaonashi pin,
P200

Pulse

B LI N D S
STOV E

LI G HT S

20
TE M P

SECR ET
SPOT

Robot
room

If we could step into Tony Starks world


and bring only one thing back, JARVIS is
easily our number-two pick after an Iron
Man suitor maybe number three after
the lovely Pepper Potts. If we had a unit
at The Residences at Alphaland Makati
Place though, were denitely nabbing
Ms. Potts because each apartment
already comes with a state-of-the-art
home automation system.
Do you want your TV and stereo
system to play your, ahem, bedroom
mix as soon as you step in with a date?

ALL THATS MISSING IS


SCARLETT JOHANSSONS
VOICE IN THE RESIDENCES
Visit makatiplace.com.ph
WORDS: ASH MAHINAY

A few taps on the systems apps and


itll pump the sounds. Do you want
your blinds to automatically roll up for
that morning view instead of having
to stumble out of bed to do it? Say no
more. And when you can program your
air conditioning to turn on when youre
almost home on a hot day? Bliss. Our
personal favorite is having the lights
track you and turn on and off as you
enter and leave each portion of your pad,
Batcave-style.
A low-key benet of this automation
is also efciency and eco-friendliness.
Youll never leave a light on unnecessarily
again! Even the plumbing and furnishing
is made of efcient and environmentally
friendly materials. Because, just like Tony
Stark, this condo has a heart.

Pulse

3
SOUNDBOUND

Aural xation
APPARENTLY, ITS NOT JUST ALL ABOUT THE
BASS AND THE TREBLE
WORDS: MIGUEL ESCOBAR | ILLUSTRATION: JAMES ANDRES

20 FH M JANUARY 2017

s

s

www.fhm.com.ph

An audiophile is a music lover who spends a substantial


amount of their time and money on improving musical
playback. Its as simple as that, says Tats Paman, Sound
Engineer at Soundesign Manila, and bona de audiophile.
He simplies because hed like to dispel any notion that
audiophiles are an elite group of wealthy hobbyists who look down on
your pitiful stock earphones.
On the contrary, Paman sees the term as much more inclusive.
Anyone who saves up a
bulk of their earnings for a
pair of headphones, makes
space for a streaming
subscription on a meager
income, spends their time
thinking about how they
can improve their listening,
and researches information
about their records is an
audiophile in my book.
So how exactly does
one become an audiophile?
It starts with falling in love
with the act of listening
to music, says Paman.
Getting attached to a piece
of music and trying to gure
out how to listen to it best
is the rst stepping stone.
Then, when you discover
that there could be more
to your favorite song than
what youve already heard,
youre going to want to
do it justice with better
equipment.
Which brings us to
the focus of audiophile
culture: equipment. What
kind should you start with?
Where do you go to get it?
The most common mistake
would be to buy blind online
without auditioning a piece
of gear rst, says Paman.
Its still best to audition
gear in a brick-and-mortar
store. That way, you can
hear for yourself what
youre paying for, and test
it against other equipment.
From there, you can begin
to build a setup.
A budding audiophile
can start with the most
basic setup: a smartphone
and a pair of headphones.
Paman recommends
the (1) GRADO SR80
for beginners, noting
that theyve been the
undisputed value-for-money headphones for years now. Plug this in
with an (2) FIIO Q1 portable headphone DAC/AMP, which bypasses
your phones hardware to upgrade its sonic capability. If youd like to
explore a home setup but lack the space, Paman recommends a pair
of powered monitors like the (3) mAudio AV42, which doesnt require
an amplier. And as for the front end of your setup, it would depend on
whether you want to go vinyl or digital: an (4) Audio Technica LP60
for the former, and a (5) FIIO X1 player for the latter.
Beyond these, your path forward is innite. As you get deeper
into the hobby, I think your sound preferences crystalize to the point

that your notion of what sounds right becomes highly personal and
subjective, says Paman. Audiophiles tend to build and upgrade based
on a lot of different factors, ever in search of a combination that
delivers sound just the way they like it. But to simplify further, Paman
breaks the factors down into three general categories:
First, Source Preferences: Your choice of playback medium.
Some people will gravitate toward analog sources (turntable, reel-toreel, or tape) or digital ones (streaming, lossless formats or CD).
Second, Amplication
Preferences: Your choice
on how to power your
speakers or headphones.
Some people gravitate
toward solid-state power
or tube/valve-based
amplication.
And third, Speaker
or Headphone
Preferences: Your choice
on how to immediately hear
music. Some people prefer
traditional dynamic speaker
drivers, some like hornloaded speakers, and others
prefer the intimate quality of
high-end headphones. The
nuances between all these
categories are learned
over an extended period of
auditioning and listening to
equipment, discerning the
differences in the quality of
music they produce.
Being an audiophile
isnt just a complicated
hobby; its also quite costly.
Thats why its almost
always necessary to join
a community, such as the
Filipino Audiophiles Club
(FAC) and Audio Pilipinas
(APIL) on Facebook, to get
advice and guidance from
veteran audiophiles. Aside
from the banter and wealth
of information you can
absorb in these groups, they
also organize meet-ups that
let you audition gear in all
price points, says Paman.
Even as a lurker, you can
back-read topics aimed at
audio newbies and read up
on posts that delve into the
minutiae of audio. Coupled
with regular auditioning, this
is the best way to learn how
to be an audiophile.
But ultimately, the joy
of the hobby is in the music
itself. The excitement and effort that go into buying and assembling an
audio setup is, to most audiophiles, only half the fun, if at all. Much of
the pleasure is in the music. At the heart of being an audiophile is the
fact that music should be accorded the same reverence and attention
that we have for the other modern modes of entertainment, says
Paman. All this convenience is costing us our attention span, and Ive
found that sitting down and listening intently to a setup youve curated
and painstakingly assembled as it plays a cherished album is the
perfect remedy for stress. It contributes to a richer inner life and [puts]
a permanently stamped grin on my face.

As you get deeper into the hobby,


I think your sound preferences
crystalize to the point that your
notion of what sounds right becomes
highly personal and subjective

www.fhm.com.ph

facebook.com/FHM.ph stwitter.com/fhmphil sfhmphilofcial

JANUARY 2017 FH M 21

Cyndi
Anne

F u n S t a r ts H e re !
aa



WX~
aUW^`

aX
\
`^W``WV`


Kim
Fhaye

Rutchelle

Lai

WORDS: PONG CASTILLO


PHOTOGRAPHY: EJAY LEUNG
OF MIDNIGHT BONKERS
STYLING: DEBRA BERNALES
MAKEUP: JANINA DIZON
HAIR: IWA AJINOMOTO

CAN DI D

Newcomer
MEET MARA ALBERTO, THE NEW GIRL WHO WILL
TICKLE YOUR FUNNY BONE

So heres the deal with the model and


now budding comedienne Mara Alberto:
she has the looks to make you turn your
head,and the personality to hook you into
interesting banter.
Mara, among other women we adore,
pulls the funny-is-the-new-sexy card
perfectly, playing the character of the
bubbly Kath in the recently concluded
sitcom A1 Ko Sayo. It was a no-brainer.
Kabado ako nung sumabak ako sa A1
kasi kasama ko sina Ms. Jaclyn Jose,
Mr. Gardo Versoza, si Solenn [Heussaff].
Nakakakaba, pero kasi yung comedy ay
magaan gawin. Masaya lang kami lagi
sa set, she explains. Punchlines always
work kapag unexpected, kapag uid ang
pag-deliver.

While still a newbie in show business,


Mara credits her good start to the late
German Kuya Germs Moreno, who gave
her break as co-host of Walang Tulugan
with Master Showman. Dun ako natuto at
nag-umpisa. Kuya Germs shared with me
pieces of advice about show business.
Mara started her modeling career in
car shows, even saying that she got her
wit and humor from the job. Most car
enthusiasts are guys, so natuto akong
makisama. And I think when youre
comfortable being yourself with both
genders, lalabas yung personality mo
may it be your serious side or your candid,
funny side.
Weve yet to see more from Mara, but
shes looking to be our next favorite girl.

facebook.com/FHM.ph stwitter.com/fhmphil sfhmphilofcial

JANUARY 2017 FH M 25

26 FH M JANUARY 2017

facebook.com/FHM.ph stwitter.com/fhmphil sfhmphilofcial

www.fhm.com.ph

G
Gent
BE
LADIES

H OT W I F E
YO U R B O S S

C R E ATU R E - H OT WO M A N

C R E ATU R E - H U MAN

ADD X G I F TS U NTO
P LAY

A
MAN

AT TACK

2 /2

HAS A 1 00% C HANCE TO


K I LL YOU.

H EALTH

AT TACK

Edited by CECILE JUSI-BALTASAR


cecilebaltasar@gmail.com

D A T I N G

ZeroSum
(Dating)
Game
NO-WIN DATING
SCENARIOS THAT YOU
SHOULD AVOID AT ALL
COST
WORDS: FR ANCIS QUINA
ILLUSTR ATIONS: CARLO MA AL A

Lets face it. Unless you


belong to that rare breed of
men that are blessed with
good looks, a sense of humor,
and a mountain of money,
dating is a difficult game to
play. Most of the time youre
not sure what the rules are.
And just when you think youve
finally got it figured out, the
rug gets pulled from under you
and the rules change.
We here at FHM know
your pain. So let us help by
pointing out dating situations
that, no matter what you do,
will always end with you on the
losing end.
28 FH M J

4 /4

H EALTH

YO U
THE SITUATION:
Youre at a work
function and are
approached by a
slightly older woman
who, as it turns out, is
the wife of one of your
bosses. You hit it off
and she asks for your
number.
BEST-CASE
SCENARIO: You
start meeting her in
secret. The sex is
great, and you get
expensive gifts to
boot.

DAT I N G AP P

U PG RADE
CHAN CE S O F M E E TI N G HOT
WOM E N AR E I N C R E A S E D
Meet more girlsvirtually

LEGENDARY CREATURE - YOURSELF

HOW IT WILL
END: Her husband
nds out, and youre
either headed to
the hospital or the
morgue. Whatever
the case may be, your
relationship is over.
(Oh, and youll lose
your job, too.)

Yes, this is you.

AT TAC K

2 /2

H E A LT H

THE SITUATION: You sign


up for a new online dating app.
Youve never been successful
with these things so you use
someone elses photo, and
another name.
BEST-CASE SCENARIO:
You meet someone online who
seems to be perfect for you
and you start chatting. You
both like the same things and
share similar ideas about life.
You even have cybersex.
HOW IT WILL END: You
nally meet, and the other
person will hate you for lying
to them. Or worse, the other
person lied about who they are,
too, and theyre actually one
of these three: your colleague,
a guy catshing you, or your
mothers best friend.

FACEBOOKCOM&(-PHsTWITTERCOMFHMPHILsFHMPHILOFlCIAL

E Y E BAL L

EVE NT

DESTROY ALL UPGRADES


YOU GET -2/-2

www.fhm.com.ph

THE SITUATION: You


go to a bar and meet a
young-looking girl who
seems to be into you.
Shes shy at rst, but
eventually opens up to you
and tells you that shes a
senior. You assume she
means college senior and
ask her to leave the bar
with you.
BEST-CASE
SCENARIO: You get
home. You ply her with
more drinks. She tells
you shes never done this
before. You tell youre
going to take it slow.
HOW IT WILL END:
Someone knocks on the
door and its the girls
father who, understandably,
will beat you up. Turns out
shes a high school senior,
not even 18. If you live to
tell the tale, expect some
jail time.

ED

E
CR

AT

RE

Yo

AT

-W

re

K
AC

AN

sc

re

ed

1/

EA

H
LT

K AWAI I G I R L

W H E N YO U A N D K AWA I I
G I R L I S AT H O M E,
T R A N S F O R M K AWA I I G I R L
AT TAC K

R I G HT E O U S N E S S

EVE NT
PREVENT OPPONENTS
CHARACTER FROM SALVATION

THE SITUATION: You attend a


family reunion where you havent
seen anyone in a long time. You
discover that one of your cousins
has grown up to be quite a looker.
You have a few drinks, and one
thing leads to another.
BEST-CASE SCENARIO: You
both snap out of it and remember
youre related. You write it off as
the effect of impaired judgment.
HOW IT WILL END: She tells
your other cousins what happened
and you are disowned by the
entire clan.

2/2

E V E NT
E X P O S E A LL S CA N DA LS .
R E M OV E YO U A N D TA R G E T
WO M A N F R O M TH E CA M P U S

THE SITUATION: Youre a


college student. The young
instructor in charge of one of your
classes is hot. You irt with her,
and she seems to be irting back.
BEST-CASE SCENARIO:
Youre living every guy students
fantasy by hooking up with a prof,
and you also get an inside scoop
of whats coming up in class.
HOW IT WILL END: Someone
nds out. Youre either expelled or
suspended. Your teacher is red,
if not prosecuted. You denitely
break up because you both resent
each other.

THE SITUATION: Youre at the gym doing your cardio when you
see a sporty gal on the weights. You offer to spot her and you get
to talking. You ask her if shed like to get coffee sometime and hang
out and she says yes. Later, you nd out she just broke up with her
girlfriend of two years.
BEST-CASE SCENARIO: You go out regularly, so much so that
people start saying youre dating. You start believing it yourself.
HOW IT WILL END: Turns out she just needed a bro to talk to and
hang out with. Say hello to her new girlfriend.

C R EAT U R E - WO M A N

AT TAC K

www.fhm.com.ph

IR

CAMPUS SCANDAL

R E L I G I O U S L A DY

CR EAT U R

RA

H E ALT H

THE SITUATION: Youre in


church and you happen to sit
next to a hottie who happens
to be a nun-in-waiting. She
smiles at you and you
smile back. You two start
talking and even exchange
numbers.
BEST-CASE
SCENARIO: She goes
out with you on dates.
Maybe she even sleeps
with you.
HOW IT WILL END: She
rediscovers her faith and,
seeing how you corrupted
her and nearly drove her
off the true path, she
denounces you as the devil
personied.

YOU ARE COUSINS!

EVE NT
IF YOU ARE RELATED,
YOU AND YOUR COUSIN ARE
REMOVED FROM YOUR CLAN

GYM BUDDIES

BRO-ZONED

U P G R A DE

E V E NT

R E C E I V E + 1/ + 1 E V E RY TU R N

R E M OV E A LL + 1 /+ 1

THE SITUATION: You


work for a government
agency and you have access
to sensitive information
that has to do with national
security. One night, out
of the blue, a foreigner
(Russian, Chinese, North
Korean?) hits you up at the
bar and shes really into you.
BEST-CASE SCENARIO:
You go to her hotel and she
offers you a drink. You pass
out and when you come to,
shes gone and you cant
remember a thing.
HOW IT WILL END:
The anesthetics wear off
and you become aware
of the excruciating pain
coming from your right hand.
Apprently she was a spy and
needed your biometrics to
access your building so she
cut off your right thumb.

FACEBOOKCOM&(-PHsTWITTERCOMFHMPHILsFHMPHILOFlCIAL

S L E E P E R AG E N T

C R E ATU R E - WO M A N
W H E N YO U M E E T S LE E P E R
AG E NT, S H E G E TS - 1/ - 1
S E A R C H FO R TO R TU R E
CHAM B E R
AT TAC K

3/3

DO
YO

WN

GE

TO

GR

-2

/-

AD

RT

UR

EC
H

AM

BE

JANUARY 2017 FH M 29

Gent
D A T I N G

Mr. Romantic, version 2017


ITS TIME TO OVERHAUL YOUR SKILLS, LOVER BOYS
WORDS: JONJON BAUTISTA

If your dating game was


deplorable in 2016,
thats downright sad.
Maybe youre still playing
by the old rules. Well be
honest: were probably
clueless, too, but its
our job to survey the
field and we think weve
discovered a few things
that might make hooking
up much more fruitful for
us this year. Heres how
were re-strategizing:

30 FH M JANUARY 2017

TI M E TO PUT A N E N D TO H I, CA N I G E T
YOU A D R I N K?

You probably rst heard it in a movie and, like Tom Cruise and Ryan Gosling, you condently spewed it.
Problem is, you dont look anything like Tom; neither will anyone mistake you for Gosling nor his cousin
twice removed. Also, the line is perfect fodder for todays feministresponding with something like: I can
buy my own drink, thank you very much, you Tom-Cruise-Ryan-Gosling-wannabe.
Do this for 2017: Hi, can I buy you a detox drink?
Or whatever coffee concoction Starbucks has come up with. You can also try with a McFloat. Itll largely
depend on where you meet (the gym, overpriced coffee place, toxic fastfood provider). Point is, stop
bothering women at a bar. But if you nd yourself in a shit-I-think-Ive-found-the-woman-of-my-dreams
moment, just act like a normal human being and introduce yourself.

FACEBOOKCOM&(-PHsTWITTERCOMFHMPHILsFHMPHILOFlCIAL

www.fhm.com.ph

No.

A RE YO U A T HIE F ? B E CAUSE YOU


ST O L E M Y HE ART IS NO LONGER
F U NNY O R WITTY

YO U R M E M E
GAM E
Save these classic
pieces of comedy art
on your phone and
whip it out when

STOP
MA K I N G
H E R AS K
BAK IT ?
S O YOU
CA N G E T
TO YOU R
PU N CH LI N E

Cmon, buddy. Just stop. You might as well keep on calling your neighbors on
their landline to ask them if, Tumatakbo ho ba yung metro ng Meralco ninyo?
[Editors note: For those who do not remember, the punchline is to say Eh di
habulin ninyo! once the victim answers in the afrmative.]
Do this for 2017: Meme it!
Hear us out on this one. A pickup line should be able to attract a womans
attention, right? Sans looks and muscles popping out your shirt sleeves, whats
the best way to get them to notice you? A sense of humor. Now, how can
you get her to laugh without the use of a pass pickup line? Use memesthe
current universal language of comedy slash
social commentary. Heres what you do:
introduce yourself, strike a conversation,
gauge her personality, and gure out
what makes her laugh. Then enliven
your conversation with these illustrated
punchlines.

3
D R OP
YOU R
I M MATU R E
FUCCBOI
A LT E R EGO

ABOUT THOSE
SELFIES
If you really have
to know, two is the
respectable number
of seles a man
should make public:
one where hes all
suited up [semiwhole-body, taken on
a mirror], and another
taken at a scenic
spot. Absolutely no
gym, bedroom, toilet,
car-because-trafc
shots.

www.fhm.com.ph

Women have wised up to your sleaze, dude.


That move where you make eyes on a pair
of legs across the room and think that shes
thinking the same thing you are? Shes not. So
stop yourself from slipping her your calling card
on your way to your car. Its a douche move; you
know it, she knows it. The only difference is, you
still think your douche-ness will score you one.
Do this for 2017:
Fuccboi-ism is a thing of the past, and the
sooner you realize and admit that fact, the
sooner you can be on the road to a real
relationship. As they say, the rst step to solve
a problem is to admit that you have one. Repeat
after us: women have no time or patience
for your shallow fear of commitment, your
arrogance, and your cluelessness. Talk to them
as if they were out of your league (which they
are) and, who knows? She just might give you
her number.

No.

DO NT B E THIS
DO U CHEBAG

You nd out you


share a love for 90s
TV

You nd out she likes


puns

You nd out she likes


stupid jokes

Bubble Gang, the show


that popularized this
move, has already moved
on. The actor who was
the catalyst for the
segment, Ogie Alcasid, is
no longer with the show.
What were trying to say
is that this maneuver has
already reached its peak.
Itll probably still impress
some, but it wont win
over everyone. Time to
do a Kevin Durant and
join the next best thing.
Do this for 2017:
Go with the favorites
By that we mean
the basics. Introduce
yourself, converse, then
ask her questions
about her. The idea is
to let her talk about
herself. Listen, slide in a
comment or compliment
here and there, and ask
more questions if the
conversation comes to a
standstill. Rinse. Repeat.

Do this for 2017:


So youre trying out online dating
and cant get even one person to
hit you up. Sad. But easy to x. Your
prole picture is king.
Pull all the stops for it: go hire your
photographer friend if your camera
skills are shit. You want to appear
inviting, warm, and trustworthy. Smile,
dont wear sunglasses, dont wear a
hat nor hold a pet, dont show off,
no looking-away or half-head
shots, no gang signs. And please
dont ruin your prole
by posting one good photo
and adding 215 seles.
No self-respecting man should show
the world that many self-portraits.

FACEBOOKCOM&(-PHsTWITTERCOMFHMPHILsFHMPHILOFlCIAL

JANUARY 2017 FH M 31

Gent

The
gentleman
crooner
DESPITE HIS LOVE
SONGS, JOHNOY DANAO
REMAINS ALMOST AS
BEFUDDLED AS YOU ARE
ABOUT WOMEN
AS TOLD TO CECILE JUSI-BALTASAR
PHOTOGRAPHY KURT ALVAREZ

WHAT I
KNOW
ABOUT

WO M E N

Some artists can compose poetry from


heartbreak; others thrive on angst. Johnoy
Danaoone-third of the folksy 3D, with
Ebe Dancel and Bullet Dumasuses the
hopeless romantic Pinoy as inspiration.
Isa yan sa pinakagusto kong traits ng
mga Pinoy, says Danao. Yung pagiging
hopless romantic. Yung akala mo hindi mo
na kaya, pero kaya mo pa pala. Yan ang
dahilan kung bakit ganito ako magsulat.
Many of his songs certanly sound
like Danao wears his heart on his sleeve
(case in point: Ikaw at Ako off his album
Dapithapon). When youre in love, merong
spark palagi sa buhay mo, says Danao.
Its this spark that we want you guys
to feel, too. So we asked Johnoy to tell us
what he knows to clue you in.
Women are chameleons.
Minsan hindi mo sila matimpla; hindi mo sila
mabasa. Para ma-solusyonan yun, you have
to meet each other halfway.
They provide inspiration for everyone.
Its not necessarily romantic inspiration. From
your mother, your sister, your daughter
they inspire. Sila yung nag-aaruga sa atin,
nagbibigay ng gabay. Kung ano ka ngayon,
malamang kalahati nun, dahil sa nanay mo.
Minsan, makulit sila.
Kahit inspirasyon sila, minsan susubukan din
nila ang pasensya mo. Bibigyan ka rin nila ng
mga problema. But despite all that, mortal sin
ang hindi pagrespeto ang mga babae.

To try to gure women out, they need


to be asked straight.
Maraming hints na nilalabas ang mga babae
na mapapatanong ka: May problema ka
ba? Galit ka ba sa akin? Napakasimple
nung mga tanong na yun, but they go
a long way. Minsan ang sagot sa yo ay
yakap; minsan may salita. By asking those
questions, pwedeng maayos na, o pwede ring
magkaroon ng mahabang diskusyon.
Womens emotions have a tendency to
spike from zero to 100 just like that.
Magiging emotional [sila] out of nowhere.
Bigla silang iiyak, makapanood lang ng
commercial o video ng cute na aso. Kaming
mga lalaki, hindi kami ganun. Hindi kami
umiiyak unless sobrang affected kami sa
isang bagay.
Even if they dont say, all women are
conscious of their biological clock.
Although a lot of women now are proud to
say that theyre independent, I think that
the clock is still on their minds. Im not sure
if its fear of ending up alone or importante
lang talaga ang oras sa kanila. In their mind,
Twenty-seven na ko. Tumatanda na ko.
There are women who dont like mind
games, either.
Ngayong matanda na ko, prangka na ko.
Sinasabi ko nang derecho ang gusto kong
sabihin. Kapag nagustuhan mo, kunin mo na
kaagad yung number. Para wala ng sayang
na oras. Para malinaw. Tapos i-text mo na
kinabukasan. Kung ayaw niya sa yo, ayaw
niya sa yo.
Kapag meron kang ka-relasyon
na babae na tama para sa yo, she
becomes your partner.
The biggest gift that being in a relationship
gives you is having someone to share things
with. Kung bata pa kayo, iba ang dynamics
ng relationship niyo. Marami pa kayong
natututunan tungkol sa buhay, sa pag-ibig.
Pero pag matanda na kayo, nag-iiba na rin
ang relationship niyo. She now becomes your
partner in every way.
A woman who is right for you cannot
be quantied.
May nahanap na ako. Hindi pa kami kasal,
pero alam ko na siya na. Hindi ko masagot
kung bakit siguradong-sigurado na ako.
Palagay ko, ganun din yung iba; hindi nila
maipaliwanag. Basta kapag kasama mo siya,
napaka-at ease ng pakiramdam mo.
Napaka-peaceful ng utak mo. Youll just
realize one day that youre not looking for
anyone else anymore.

KAPAG NAGUSTUHAN MO , KUNIN MO NA


KAAGAD YUNG NUMBER. PARA WALA NG
SAYANG NA ORAS. PARA MALINAW

Gent

Sex

DO S S IER

The Actor
HES GOT A REPUTATION, BUT ITS
NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT FOR A
LADY WHO WANTS TO PLAY

Emma Yu,

26

PHOTOGRAPHY: ANDREO ESGUERRA

Katipunan
9:00 p.m.
I knocked on the door of his apartment. Inside, I could
hear him fumbling around. And then he opened it and
looked at me with a dashing smile. He was handsome
and charming, and I immediately wanted to kiss him.
I met him the night before, at a party full of people
who worked in production. He was an actor for indie
movies, and I was there accompanying my friend who
was a writer. I spotted him and knew who he was right
awayIve seen his movies before. But I had never
expected that he would return the gaze. He looked at me
from across the room, and we smiled at each other for
some time. Then, when we got near each other, he asked
me, Who do you know here? And it wasnt long before
we were talking. We struggled with the small talk: What
do you do?, What are you drinking? And then the next
thing I know, he put his hand behind my head, as I was
in the middle of a sentence, and kissed me, sliding his
tongue inside my mouth with aggression.
I kissed him back, but pushed him aside when I
realized we were in public. My friends were in the same
party. Sasha, my writer friend, had passed by us on her
way to the bathroom, and she glared at us angrily when she saw how
he leaned into me, our faces just inches away from each other.
She pulled me aside, No. Not him. You can hook up with anyone
else, but not him.
He had quite the reputation of sleeping around, she said.
But he was handsome: with a dimple that dotted his left cheek.
And polite. Plus, its not like I was looking for a boyfriend, and I always
wondered what it would be like to sleep with a pseudo-celebrity. He
asked for my number, and though we didnt do anything during the
night of the party, the following day, I found myself in his apartment.
Mmmm. Fresh from a shower. He said, kissing my neck. And
then he picked me up and carried me to the bed. We began to kiss
ravenously, hungry for each other, before he pushed me down on the
bed. I want to eat you out. He said, commanding.
And then he started. Slow and gentle, not at all like how the other
men would do it. His hands wrapped around my thighs and pressed
against my pelvis, as his tongue slowly slid up and down my clit,
massaging it in a consistent, gentle rhythm, without the grossness
of slurping or biting or sucking. He achieved it with just a rhythmic
motion, making me wet and horny.
He didnt stop and kept at his pace the whole time. My body
writhed under his arms, as his tongue kept at the up and down
motion, his hot breath tickling my delicate skin. I could feel myself
getting wetter, wanting him more and more. It was thrilling. It felt so
good I cocked my head back in delight. Im going to come, I told him,
panting, pulling his head back, but as I said this, he pushed his head
down even more, flicked his tongue against me even faster, until my
hips were up in the air, pulsating with orgasmic euphoria.

www.fhm.com.ph

He didnt stop till, as I shivered under his arms. I came, I said


again, hinting that he could stop. But he just kept going, until I came
a second time.
Out of breath, I tried to stand up, but the feeling between my
legs was unlike anything I had felt before. Youre really good at this,
I said. And he just responded with a smile. Youre not going to tell
anyone about this right? He asked, making sure his reputation would
be intact. No, I said.
Good. He said, as he knelt in front of me. He pushed my legs
open, and went in between. He placed my legs above his bended
knees, and slowly, he entered me, his cock easing in. I was dripping
wet, and the feeling of him inside me made me moan. He moved
inside me slowly at first, and then when he knew he was hitting
the spot that made me moan louder, he thrusted harder, and faster,
making me scream now in bed, totally under his control.
I came two more times, my body completely spent, before he
finally pulled out and released himself on me. We both slumped on
the bed, tired. I scanned the room. He had some books on the shelf,
and dirty laundry on the floor. He rubbed my bare stomach, while
playing a game on his phone. You can spend the night here, he said
nicely, as if he genuinely wanted the company. He lived alone, and
seemed to have no one to talk to.
Nah, I think I have to go home, I responded. Knowing it would be
best to leave.
He saw me out to my car, and kissed me goodbye. Give me a
ring next time, he said smiling. I can eat you out even better, when
Im not so hungover. Then he turned around and walked away.

FACEBOOKCOM&(-PHsTWITTERCOMFHMPHILsFHMPHILOFlCIAL

JANUARY 2017 FH M 33

FAME

I T S K I M D O M I N G O L I V I N G H E R
D R E A M A N D W E R E H A P P Y T O
W AT C H I T U N F O L D

P H O T O G R A P H Y

M A R K

N I C D A O
W O R D S

P O N G

C A S T I L L O

S T Y L I N G

A J

A L B E R T O

M A K E U P

G E R Y

P E N A S O

H A I R

M A R K

B A Q U I R A N
F o r
L ' O r e a l
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u s i n g
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PREDATORS
THE PHILIPPINES BIGGEST AND BADDEST CREATURES
The Philippines is a hotbed of ecological
diversity in plainspeak, it has a wide
variety of animals. Where there are
animals, there are predators.
And where there are predators, there are
apex predators: the kings of the food
chain, to whom the term eat or be eaten
does not apply.
But just who are the kings of the
Philippine jungle? Here are some of the
biggest and baddest in the country:
1. The Killer Whale: (Orca)
While we do have Great White Sharks
swimming in our waters, the Killer Whale
is the biggest sea predator around. They
typically dont attack people, but they
often prey on other whales, dolphins,
and even sharks. Yes, orcas are the only
predators known to have taken down
grown Great Whites. Given that they often
grow as big and as heavy as a bus, thats
little surprise.
2. The King Cobra: Its not taking
down carabaos left and right, but the King
Cobra is the biggest venomous snake
around. It actually preys on more common
snakes, making sure its higher on the
food chain than its own relatives.
3. The Saltwater Crocodile:
The Philippines is home to two species
of croc, the smaller Philippine Croc from
Mindoro and the Saltwater Croc. Lolong,
a member of the latter species, was the
largest ever crocodile held in captivity,
weighing over a ton. Before his capture,
he was believed to have eaten at least
two people.
4. The Askal: (Asong Kalye Street
Dog) Dont laugh. These mutts were
responsible for more human deaths last
year than all other predators combined.
Rabies from dog bites kill some three to
four hundred people every year in the

Philippines. Aside from the viral risk, the


Askal is a formidable animal. Lean and
tough, it can survive in both the urban
jungle and the real jungle. But while wild,
they make great pets. Intelligent and loyal
to a fault, they can be more adaptable
to humans than many high-strung
purebreds.
5. The Philippine Eagle: (MonkeyEating Eagle) This ones not a man-killer
at all, but try telling that to the monkeys!
One of the largest eagles in the world,
the Philippine Eagle doesnt subsist solely
on a diet of monkeys. It also preys on
other predatory birds, bats, rodents, ying
lemurs, pigs, deer, lizards, large snakes
and even dogs! While endangered,
it remains a potent symbol of the
Philippines, a high-ying bird of prey that
lords over all it surveys.

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THE
SECOND
TIME
COULD
BE AS
EXCITING
as the rst timeif you could make it
feel like the rst time. We think that
is exactly what happened here.
Just 13 months ago, FHM was
looking for a fresh face to introduce
to you. We were looking through the
Internet for possible leads, as we were
already convinced as far back as 2010
that online was the new frontier for
cover stars. Our gut feel was strong
for Kim Domingo.
Back then she was a nobody in
traditional show business, but was a
certied celebrity online. We can still
remember quite clearly the power we
imbued her maiden FHM appearance
with this cover blurb: 80,000
Instagram, 800,000 Facebook,
3,000,000 YouTubeand shes not
even a celebrityyet!
A year later, she is. Big time.
Saying yes to do the FHM cover
in December 2015 was a big risk,
shares Kim. Walang nakakakilala sa
akin sa showbiz nun, so 50-50 yung
chance ko to get good reception of
that cover. Maaaring ma-bash ako and
maging op yung cover, o magiging

break siya for me. Fortunately,


taking that risk proved that Kims
ability to captivate goes beyond the
barriers of the Internet. It opened up
a whole new dimension for me. Hindi
mo talaga malalaman kung kailan
yung big break mo. Totoo talaga yung
sinasabi nila na mangyayari ang
dapat mangyari sa tamang panahon.
While people often say that
timings a bitch, Kim proves thats not
always the case.
Since her debut cover, Kim has
been a mainstay in the countrys
longest-running gag show Bubble
Gang, has starred as a kontrabida
in a teleserye alongside primetime
actors; has been under the GMA
Artist Center, and has released a
single under GMA Records; has
landed the role of leading lady in a
comedy movie, and has been hailed
this years Ginebra Calendar Girl.
All appears like the typical
Cinderella story of a showbiz hopeful,
only Kim has done all these in the
span of a year. Only a select few can
claim the same.
Also, as we write this, her Internet
numbers have more than tripled from
last year.
We resolved that our rst meeting
wouldnt be the last. We succeeded in
introducing a fresh face; to have a
rst-time covergirl join the FHM 100
Sexiest list and break through the
top 10 was a delicious surprise. We
knew a comeback cover would happen
sooner rather than later.
Sobrang ganda ng shoot natin!
Kim bursts with excitement after
wrapping up an eight-hour photo
shoot. Ibang-iba nung rst cover
shoot ko. Hindi pa kasi ako ganun
ka-condent nun. Ngayon mas
condent na ako. Wala akong
pakialam kahit maraming nanonood,
basta nasa isip ko ay dapat
magandang-maganda ang kalabasan
ng shoot.
This is not a reintroduction of a
fresh face. This is the unveiling of a
major superstar.

KIM HAS COME


FULL CIRCLE
in her lifelong dream to become
famous. She has blazed past Internet
fame, proving that shes more than
just another pretty face in the
virtual realm. Kim also discovered
she had acting chopsaside from
light comedy and dancing in music
videoswhen she played the role of
antagonist Agatha in the concluded
teleserye Juan Happy Love Story,
alongside Dennis Trillo and Heart
Evangelista.
Nakakabwisit yung character
na yun, Kim recalls. Meron akong
acting coach who guided me through,
lalo nat rst time kong sumabak
sa teleserye. Maninira talaga ng
relasyon si Agatha, and I realized
I was playing my role effectively
when people began to bash me online.
Sabi nga nila, pag maraming galit
sayo bilang kontrabida, ibig sabihin
nagagawa mo nang tama yung
trabaho mo bilang artista.
When asked how she related to
the character successfully, Kim says:
Meron kasi kaming isang thing in
common ni Agatha: alam namin ang
gusto namin, at gagawin namin ang
lahat para makuha yun. And the way
Kim is doing now, she is getting them
all and is denitely far from stopping.
What she badly wants right now is
for you to see beyond what you see here.
Ngayon ang image ko talaga is
pa-sexy, pero sana mabigyan ako
ng pagkakataon gumawa ng heavy
drama. Gusto ko talaga yun. Gusto
kong patunayan sa ibang tao na hindi

lang ako pa-sexy; na kaya ko rin


umarte. Gusto kong makilala bilang
aktres at hindi lang sexy icon. Pero
actually, okay makilala bilang sexy
na aktres. Bakit hindi? Yes, Kim,
why not?
Besides, we wouldnt be convinced
even if she believed she wasnt sexy at
alleverything about her just screams
she is (look her up on Instagram:
@therealkimdomingo. Stat!) Good for
her, though, that as visible as she is
on the web, on TV and commercial
outings, she has managed to keep her
private life private. Little is known
about her life outside show business
because she doesnt publish everything.
And the mystery, we must admit, keeps
us even more drawn to her.
I guess hindi lang din kasi ako as
emotional online as I am in real life.
Thats just me, hindi ko kinokondena
yung mga ibang tao who consider
social media an outlet, says Kim, who
we found out grew up in a modest
household and is especially close to her
mother; and has a soft spot for dogs
(she has ve). Para sa akin lang,
nakakatulong yung i-handle mo ang
personal issues mo sa personal mong
oras at buhay. May mga pros and
cons din naman yan. For me, gusto ko
maging source ng good vibes. Gusto
ko matuwa ang mga makakakita sa
social media feed ko.
Ironically, her decision to keep
some aspects of her life out of the
limelight merits her captious critics.
Whatever you choose to do, may
mga tao na mag-a-attack sayo. Dati
akala ko mahirap na i-handle ang
online trolls, pero mas mahirap pala
sa showbiz. Dapat pala matibay ang
apog mo.

PANTASYA
NG BAYAN.
A term rst branded to sexy actress
and former FHM cover girl Joyce
Jimenez in the late 90s is now slowly
and closely being associated with
Kim.
Hindi ko siya tine-take as
something negative, she says. May
iba kasing mga tao na nakikita siyang
mali. Iniisip nila na gustung-gusto
ko raw na pinagpapantasyahan ako
ng bayan at ng mga kalalakihan.
But to her, its beyond being ogled and
fantasized. Para sa akin, celebration
yun ng kagandahan at kakayahan

ng babae. Ang una at original na


Pantasya ay si Ms. Joyce. Biruin mo,
sa dami ng sexy sa industriya na
tomas magaganda at talentedsa
akin pa napamana ang tatak na yun.
Karangalan siya.
Kim admits that the abundance
of work thrown her way is
overwhelming, but she seems to have
a steady grasp of where shes headed
as an artist. Yung biggest challenge
ko ngayon is kung paano ako tatagal
sa industriya, she says. I want to
prove to everyone that talent still

reigns. Ang pagiging Pantasya ng


Bayan ay hindi kasing simple ng
pagpapakita ng katawan. Sex appeal
is beyond showing skin.
Shes a newbie, but is not nave.
She is scared, but is willing to get
over it by trying. Kim knows what
shes got and how to make it work for
herself.
Simple lang kasi ako, she says.
Palagay ko maraming nakaka-relate
sa ganunyung alam nilang tulad din
ako ng mga kaibigan nila, kapitbahay,
ganun. Totoong tao lang ako. FH M

TH E S E

TH I N G S

W I L L

B E

I N

2 0 17
( O R S O M E T H I N G S W R O N G
W I T H O U R T R E N D M E T E R )

ECONOMY

ENVIRONMENT

Small, local businesses will thrive.


Entrepreneurship is on the rise with all those
smoked sh in mason jars, bottled ales, and
homegrown what-have-yous saturating
weekend markets. Younger and younger
people are starting their own businesses and
we will not see a shortage of hip, feel-good
marketing gimmicks like farm-to-fork, artisanal,
and whatever you call anything else that
doesnt go through an assembly line.
That said, the artisan economy will spill
over onto sports with the emergence of an
Artisanal Basketball Association (ABA), a
league that goes back to basics with shorter
shorts, chalk scoreboards, and handcrafted
wooden hoops (from reclaimed lumber). Expect
them to hold pop-up events at school gyms and
barangay courts where rent is cheap.
Hipster branding will continue to front
many of these local businesses and it will
be directly proportional to the overgrowth of
graphic designers and brand ambassadors.
More people will choose to buy Pinoy
because the local community of
entrepreneurs will have caught
on with modern marketing
strategies. Malls will simply be
a place where people hang out
for the air conditioning.

Earthquakes will occur because the


Philippines is located along the Pacic Ring
of Fire. Devastating typhoons will befall our
highly arable lands, being in the Typhoon
belt. That is not trend prediction at all, as you
might suspect, because they will happen at
some point, which is one more reason seers
are quacks.
That said, The Arctic sea was hit by really
warm cyclones last year, which thinned the
ice even more. Meanwhile the Getz shelf on
the Antarctic region has an increasing melt
rate. These changes are wreaking havoc on
Earths weather pattern, despite conspiracy
theories about military weather manipulation
(HAARP). The Philippines should prepare
for far stronger typhoons as melting polar
ice caps increase ocean levels. Frequent
typhoons will cause even worse ooding in
both rural and urban areas.
In a surprise twist, while waiting for the
next season of Game of Thrones, there will
be snow.
Eco-awareness will become
a welcome trend, and serve
as a gateway to taking climate
change more seriously. What once
seemed like a pretentious cause
for millennials will see some ideals

W O R D S :

A N N E

M A R I

come into fruition. More businesses will


insert corporate social responsibility policies
into their organizations, with benets ranging
from savings to branding. Fortunately, all
this eco-policing will result in the reduction
of plastic waste. It will be a good idea to
become a bike salesman.

FAS H I ON
Things are looking more fashionable on the
tech front with the inux of wearables.
Smartphones have long been an accessory
but watches are the real indicators of social
status. The richest, of course, will don
Hermes-banded Apple watches and Tory
Burch Fitbits.
Athleisure will be a popular portmanteau
and fashion statement. Fitbits will look really
good on anyone who likes to dress as if they
were always on their way to the gym. Society
will collectively nd its chill in comfortable
athletic wear in which sneakers are boss
and yoga pants are not only worn by moms.
Kanye himself has a line of athleisure
products. Do not be surprised if Lululemon
stores open at the hippest malls.

R O N Q U I L L O

I L L U S T R A T I O N S :

W A R R E N

E S P E J O

LIGHTNING
ROUND!

LIFESTYLE
In line with unhampered consumerism, more
and more people will post atlays on
Instagram, and if theres an industry that
will thrive from the aerial view, its the food
industry. Cookbooks on print will have to
work twice as hard, however. They will need
to be noticed in a world where people learn
to cook by watching random recipe videos on
Facebook. Ignore the fact that those videos
make you crave food at midnight more than
they encourage learning. Tasty!

E N T E R TA I N M E N T
Aldub will break up and everyone will know
it because all of their endorsements will
reect the narrative. Maine Mendoza will star
in a movie without Alden. The duos schtick
is getting old and only something as big as
a split will help them peak showbiz Everest
again. Dont worry, AlDub Nation, reunions
are always interestingunless the knockup-tie-the-knot happens and drives you all
insane.

O s c a r w i nne r
For B e s t Ac tre s s
Emma S ton e
Ha i r s tyl e
M ulle ts
P BA Cha mpi ons
Gin e br a
N BA Cha mpi ons
G SW
Tra ve l De s ti na ti on
M y a n ma r
Mos t O rde re d
L i ba ti on
Win e
B i gge s t Ma ni l a
Conc e r t
Coldpla y
Me ns we a r
Tur tle n e ck s
B i gge s t Mov i e
St a r Wa r s Episode 8
Ce l e br i ty We ddi ng
A n n e Cur tis a n d Er wa n
H e ussa ff
H a c k/ L e a k Di s a s te r
www.sss.gov.ph
M os t Te r ror i z i ng
Te r ror i s t G roup
ISIS
B i gge s t Come ba c k
Pluto ( a s a pla n e t)

Taylor Swift comes out with a new


single, to the annoyance of everyone. Then
she will crawl her way up the charts and
before we know it, our Spotify playlist. Her
long-time dissension with self-proclaimed
modern Jesus, Kanye West, will transmogrify
into something that benets them botha
creative collaboration of epic proportions.
Kanye will insist that this is the biggest thing
to happen to music. Tabloids will announce
Kims jealousy, and everything will once again
be about the Kardashians.
Local TV networks will start offering
streaming services for their content, and
fans will rejoice with unlimited access to old
favorites in the archive. TGIS and chill? will
be the new booty call. Netix may be king of
streaming services, but theres really nothing
like a Palibhasa Lalake marathon.

SPORTS
Like a phoenix rising from the ashes,
Barangay Ginebra Kings will bring national
attention back to the PBA. Its been a while
since the Kings were on top, and the 20152016 season was a big one for Jawos old
gang. A new dynasty in the making? If youre
a diehard Ginebra fan, that is a matter of
blind faith.
Manny Pacquiao will not be in his
best shape but he will continue to milk
himself down to the last drop as he takes
on the ring one last time. The senator
experienced the particular sadness that

Special: The marriage of technology


and traffic
Everyone will invest in their own dashcam and MMDA, in cooperation with Facebook,
will set up online viewing rooms for road disputes. These arguments will
ultimately be settled by a randomly selected online jury. Finally, we will be able to put
our outrage and judgments in the right place.
A newcomer in the ride-sharing service will give Uber and Grab some competition,
because this one actually alleviates trafc instead of putting more cars on the road.
Operators took advantage of Ubers service by buying newer cars and hiring drivers in
order to keep their business going. The essence of ride-sharing was obviously lost on
these entrepreneurs. Millennials are now ready to welcome a new player.
More companies will opt for telecommuting to comply with a statemandated program that aims to ease traffic. We will see more mobile employees
working out of the office, placing their busy selves inside coffee shops hunched over
a laptop, looking important.

comes with retirement and expressed that he


is lonely without boxing. As much as we want
to tell him that it is, in fact, just really lonely at
the top, we will still take the time to watch his
ghts, even though it may not be as crimeand trafc-free as they were back in the day.
Weightlifting will be the new boxing,
but mostly itll be because of the talents
of Hidilyn Diaz and Nestor Colonia. Many
will take it upon themselves to learn the
sport, mostly via Facebook so they dont
get nationally burned with their lack of
weightlifting knowledge.

TECH NOLOGY
Somethings brewing at the Apple
headquarters in Cupertino. Its a new iPhone.
The death of the headphone jack annoyed
everybody, but Apple is committed to being a
frontrunner when it comes to close personal

relations with technology. Natural human


movements are being accommodated by
gadgets now, and interfaces have become
more intuitive. Perhaps the Home button will
meet its doom this year.
Smart homes will become mainstream
in other countries. For our digs, we will
be buying transition gadgets like smart
speakers and smart plugs to ll our houses
before completely going digital. Breaking
and entering may then require a computer
school degree. Amazons Echo and Google
Homes speakers are just some of the new
gizmos that allow smart technology to be
omnipresent in a room. We will slowly get
used to this.

POLITICS
Donald Trump will begin his presidency
in the United States. As a way to foster
international relations, he will buy Miss
Universe back. Luckily for our own president
who loves the ladies, the 2017 event will
be held in the Philippines where Steve
Harvey will co-host with the countrys top
non-journalist, Mocha Uson. The duo must
especially be careful in matters of factchecking and winner announcement when
Mercury is in retrograde, so as not to repeat
the mortifying events of last years Miss U.
The Philippines will be part of a Cold
Shoulder War as the president continues
to alienate former allies while sending
deported OFWs to Russias space school
as Fil-cosmonauts in training. This is part of
Dutertes grand top-secret strategy to solve
poverty, drugs, and corruption: just send
everyone to space. FH M

   



 
 
   

C
I
S
MU
R
O
t
C
E
L
E
S
Some totally new acts. Others,
old new acts. All fresh listens

   

     

         

    

 

      

D E E Z E R

FA C E B O O K

i T U N E S

    

   

S O U N D C L O U D

S P O T I F Y

YO U T U B E

      
Last year was a boom year for Pinoy
music. New albums in various genres
were released in rapid succession.
Indie acts got signed to major labels
(theyre still alive!). You could say that
were probably in the thick of another
musical boom like what happened a
decade ago, when Sugarfree, Sponge
Cola, Up Dharma Down, Mobstarr,
Kamikazee, and Urbandub ruled the
airwaves.
But you wont hear much of those
bands in 2017. In fact, some of them no
longer exist. In the age of Soundcloud,
iTunes, Spotify and many other popular
platforms for music, there is a trove of
new acts, the sheer number of which
we have not seen in the local music
scene in quite a while. We had a tough
time singling out who we thought were
doing something special.
These new bands have eschewed
the heavier guitars of the past two
decades in favor of more light-fare
groove and chill.
But there are still old souls on our
selection, proving that when reinvention
works, its like being a young band
again. Here are the local acts you
should be listening to this year:

The rst reinvented artist. Get Pinoy


music legend Ely Buendia, team him up
with veteran rocker Jay Ortega (90s band
Gnash), and you get...a soul band? You read it right: the two frontmen have jumped on
the soul train and are chugging full speed ahead. No noise-rock guitars, no pop ditties,
no macho posturing. Apartel is all about sex-a-delia via the old schoolso old school, in
fact, that they released their debut album on vinyl (and the record does sound great if
you spin it on a classic hi- system).
KILLER SONG: Is It Hip? Guijo St. (Makes You Wonder)
ALBUM: Inner Play, released on vinyl November 2016
      

This unassuming band does


not hide its pop inclinations. Its
love for VST & Company and
APO is tempered by the 90s
incarnations of the Eraserheads
and Rivermaya, and it shows
in their songs. In an era of
electronic bleeps, beats, and
auto-tuning, Monolog comes
across as a fresh approach to a
throwback form.
KILLER SONG: Ayala Ave
ALBUM: Album, released
September 2016

      

    

  
   
   
Remixing is not only limited to
music. As we have seen on this
list so far, it applies to musical
membership as well. Get the
guys from Freestyle, SinoSikat,
Radioactive Sago Project, and
Pupil, distill their collective
musical taste to its purest, then
let it rip like a deadly zombie virus
on an unsuspecting populace.
That is Brass Pas Pas Pas Pas,
a jazz-swing-blues project that
is both irreverent and respectful
in its raw approach to a classic
musical form.
KILLER SONG: Chili Garlic
Buttered Shrimp
ALBUM: Greatest Hits, released
2016
      


   
 

 
   

M U S I CR
SELECtO

  
Save Me Hollywoods Julz Savard
has crafted a new persona: SIXX,
trading her 2000s-era rock princess
vibe for a more sultry, electro-pop
vibe. She released two singles last
yearThis Time Around and the
smoking-hot Constellationsand
has worked with producer-artist
Rez Toledo (a.k.a. Someday Dream)
for her music. If theres one thing
SIXX and her team know how to
channel (or exploit), its sensuality
in electronic music, which this
increasingly safe music scene needs
more of.
KILLER SONG: Constellations
      

  

  

  

Most of its personnel are indie rock veterans, but the


revelation in this group is former NU107 DJ Evee
Simon, whose delicately matter-of-fact vocal stylings
are a refreshing break from all the Armi Millare
wannabes populating todays music scene. But throw in
Simons vocals with 90s-era fuzz rock and you have an
exquisite mix of old-school rock...from a fresh millennial
perspective, whatever that means (but denitely
something good).
KILLER SONG: Revelations I

Asch Catabonas electronic


jazz, funk, and chillout
project has been making the
rounds of bars and clubs,
and it is very easy to drown
in the music. Smooth, but not
unexciting; sensual without
being vulgar; moody, but not
self-indulgent. Catabonas
electronica work is all over
the Internet, but the live
full-band iteration is another
experience altogether.
KILLER SONG: Half A
World Away
      

      




A project consisting of Taken By Cars Siopao
Chua and Bryan Kong, Gaijins Shinji Tanaka,
and indie pop dreamboat Ahmad Tanji of We Are
Imaginary, Olympia Maru gives a beautiful mix of
post-punk and garage rock in the British indie-pop
vein, but with a collective maturity betting this
specic set of artists.
KILLER SONG: Noon
ALBUM: Sky Falling (EP), released 2016

 


   
 

 
   

M U S I CR
SELECtO

      
  

 
   
The Queen of Pinoy soul is
doing it solo. Her late-2016
single, Ikaw Ba (actually
a collaboration with guitar
whiz Noli Aurillo) is a difcult
piece to listen to...and that
makes the single all the
more exciting. Away from
the connes of her outt
SinoSikat?, Agarrado prepares
to conquer 2017 with her
full-length album, which will
be released sometime during
the summer.
KILLER SONG: Ikaw Ba
ALBUM: To be released
summer of 2017

Get Kamikazee, merge them with At


The Drive Inn, and add one cup of
unpredictability. Johnny Riot and his
cohorts are out to declare that the
20th century form called rock music
is ever dangerous... and far from dead.
Formed in 2014, The Riot Act released
its EP, Mono-Radyo, last September
and has been setting re (guratively)
to every gig theyre at. Their live sets are
electrifyingly intense, and Riots wails
constantly threaten to rupture your gut.
This band is not for the faint of heart.
KILLER SONG: Todo
ALBUM: Mono-Radyo (EP), released
September 2016
      

      

    

ADRIAN ARCEGA
is the editor-in-chief of
RadioRepublic.ph, where you can
check out the best, the coolest,
and the newest in Pinoy music. He
is also a video producer, director,
visual effects artist, and musician.
When no one is looking, he travels
the multiverse in a blue police box.
FH M

The rst of the reinvented


artists to watch this year: Mon
Legaspi and Francis Aquino
of Wolfgang meet the hardrock riffage of former Blue
Jean Junkies axeman Armand
Quimpo, topped by theater actor
Jeyvi Castillos smooth (and
baritone) vocals. Kontra released
its debut album Ibang Planeta
last November 2016. A power
band, if you have ever seen one,
but one with enough air and
exibility to break new ground.
KILLER SONG: Planeta
ALBUM: Ibang Planeta,
released November 2016

      

Rich?
(O R AT L E A S T, K I C K S TART YOUR
LI F E SAVI N G S W I T H P 1 50 , 0 0 0 BY
THE END O F 2 0 1 7 )

WORDS VICTORIA VIZCARRA


WITH REPORTS FROM CECILE JUSI BALTASAR
ILLUSTRATIONS LOUIS ARENAS

If nancial peace
of mind is one of
your new years
resolutions, weve got
good news and bad
news: savings-wise,
your rst P150,000
is going to be the
hardestyoull
be starting from
scratch, so expect
it to be an uphill
climb. On the ip
side, the best time
to build your bank
account is while
youre young, a time
of (relatively) fewer
responsibilities and
(hopefully) better
health. So if youre
going to take the
plunge, the time is
now.

Drop the fol l owi n g


fi ne thi ngs i n l ife:
weekl y b eer s w i t h
the b oys , dai l y fra p s ,
c abl e T V, Ub er, e t c.
When youve set your sights on a tall order like this, the fact is,
somethings got to give. You certainly have to change the way you
spend money, says Henry Ong, a registered nancial planner. The
change need not be abrupt. You can start by reducing slowly. No
ones asking you to live like a hermit, but it wont kill you to curb
beers with the boys from every week to once a month. A change
in lifestyle is a change in cost. Magkasama yun, agrees Rienzie
Biolena, chief nancial planner of Wealth Arki.
Your goal is to save P12,500 a month to come up with
P150,000 this year. These are the things that cost you
approximately the same amount every month:

16 bottles of Pale Pilsen with


the boys (four bottles a week):

P1,120

12 mugs of your favorite dark


mocha drink (thrice weekly):

P1,860

Your cable subscription


(everythings online, anyway):

P1,100

Eating out (lunch, maybe, or


dinner):

P2,000

Your Uber or Grab rides (a


daily ride to and from work):

P4,800

The interest on your credit card


bill (if you dont pay your bill in
full, which you probably dont):

P1,620

P12,500

VI S UALI Z E
YOU R G OAL
Maintain a mindset
where you know all
your goals. If you plot
them on a timeline,
mas ma-i-inspire
ka, says Biolena,
who says your goals
should subscribe to
the SMART criteria
(specic, measurable,
attainable, realistic,
and time-bound).
Why are you saving
P150,000 in the rst
place? Write that goal
down somewhere you
can see every day to
motivate you to give
up your dark mocha
drink. Try one of these
goals, which are all
within the P150,000
range:
X A six-day trip to
Osaka, Japan
for two in 2018
(#PromoFlights
#Homestay)
X Down payment
on a Toyota
Innova
X Your pre-school
kids tuition for
two years
X A brand-new
Canon DSLR
camera

There are a lot of ways to nd other sources of income with the


help of the Internet: You can sell stuff you dont need online
(www.OLX.ph even lets you put up an ad for free); run a small
business from home (www.tackthis.com.ph helps you build
a storefront online, complete with payment assistance. Itll
be way cheaper than a concrete store); and do freelance work
whenever you can (www.getcraft.com is a content marketplace
that matches agencies and brands to different kinds of artists).

Always remember the long-term


benets: The savings you will make
in the end will enable you to grow it
by investing it for passive income,
says Ong. More specically, Biolena
suggests matching each one of your
money milestones with a nancial
instrument.
Your 13th month pay, for instance,
isnt for Christmas gifts or impressing
a girlits for investment. You may use
it to open a time deposit account
which earns you a pitiful interest rate
of one percent or so annually. Or
you could get into the riskier stocks,
bonds, and mutual funds.
While youre at it, why dont you
get another jobas an entrepreneur?
Start off by reading How I Made My
First Million by nancial guru Chinkee
Tan. Now assess your skills. Can you
be an online entrepreneur? Or how
about renting a booth at one of the
weekend markets all over Manila? If
you can earn at least P12,500 in prot
from this weekend gig, you can use
your regular income any way you want.

KEEP A
R E COR D OF
ALL YOU R
S PE N D I N G

Conside r yo u r
income ye a r l y,
not ann ua l l y.
The technique is, look at your
cash ow on an annual level,
not a per-month basis, advises
Biolena. That way, you wont
be so cavalier with your 13th
month paysome companies
offer up to a 16th month bonus,
if youre luckyand can resist
the urge to splurge. If you only
look at your income and expense
monthly, then the tendency is
you think of those bonuses as
extra money. But that extra
months pay is what we can use
as a budget for your goals.
What did you do with last
Decembers bonuses? Hopefully
you put some amount in the
bank; and hopefully its still
there now, earning interest
slowly but surely.

Make a budget of
your daily expenses
for the month.
Make that your
guide, suggests
Ong. You dont
necessarily have
to live and die by
that planthink of
it more as a tool
that shines a light
on where youre
hemorraging
money. Theres no
reality check quite
like a pile of the
receipts that have
been burning a
hole in your wallet.
By end of the
month, compare
what you [have]
spent with what
you budgeted, and
analyze where you
made the most
variance, and try to
correct that in the
following month,
says Ong.

G O I N W I TH E Y E S
W I D E OP E N A N D
K N OW W H AT
YOU R E CA PA B L E
OF F I N A N C I A L LY.

S t o p t a k in g out
lo a n s ( O r a t
le a s t , b e a s m a r t
b o rrowe r)

Think before you commit to an undertaking of this scale: Biolena says


that until you have the necessities any self-respecting grown-up
already shouldlike an insurance policy, or a six-month rainy-day
fundyou may be biting off more than you can chew.
Say youre earning P35,000 monthly. Fifteen percent of that
P5,250goes to tax. About P2,500 goes to employee benets, which
leaves you with P13,625 every two weeks. On top of paying for bills
and necessities such as food and transportation, can you afford to
save P150,000 by the end of the year? Better to consider everything
now and adjusting your nancial goal before hating yourself for not
reaching your original goal later on.

FIND WEALTH ARKI AT WWW.WEALTHARKI.COM

C a p it a li ze o n
li q u i d i t y e ve n ts

First, pay your credit card bills in full and on time. BPI, for example, charges 6
percent of your past due amount every due date. If you pay just the minimum
amount due every month, thats like throwing away P1,000 monthly (an amount
that increases as your unpaid balance increases).
Second, enough with the 5-6 loan sharks; you lose at least 20 percent to
interest rates there. If you absolutely have to take out a loan, consider the interest
rates, how long you have to pay, and if your cash ow will still be solid if you have to
add paying back your loan.

Once youre nally nished


paying off your rst car or
your credit card debt, youll
know it: All of a sudden its
like this pile of money just
landed on your lap! But freeing
up some income isnt carte
blanche to go on a spending
spree for a new pair of Yeezys.
Its not spare change; its put to
better use to help with saving
goals na hindi mo pa kayang
pondohan, says Biolena. Its
all about priorities. You have to
structure your money in such a
way that prioritizes your goal.
Think of it this way: Youve
survived without that extra
cash until now, so you can to go
without a little longer.
To help you control your
spending, simplify your life
and purge whatever material
possessions you dont need. Do
a Marie Kondo (your girl will
know how). Once youre used
to having less, you wont feel
much urge to add to your junk
at home when you can afford to.

THE ACTORS

METHOD
W H AT D O E S P I N G M E D I N A
DO WHEN HES DONE BEING
BRILLIANT ONSCREEN?

WORDS
C E C I L E J U S I B A LTA S A R
PHOTOGR APHY
NIKO VILLEGAS
STYLING
DEBRA BERNALES
GROOMING
LY N E T T E S U N G A

It takes some time to gure Ping Medina out.


Its probably a game genius actors like to play, the
willful inaccessibility. Sure, the Internet calls him
the Indie lm prince because of his career in lm
and TV. But aside from that, and the fact that he
sometimes ends his text messages with the ying kiss
emoji, Medina largely remains an enigma.
If I werent an actor, Id probably be
drinking less and would have less issues,
he jokes. Good, he has a sense of humor.
Im never happy with what I have now. If
I get a good review on my last lm, I say,
Okay, great. And then I move on and look
for something better, bigger; something that
will make me get up excited in the morning.
That something would most probably
be writing. I like a lot of things, but writing
will always be my rst love, Medina says.
Acting [on the other hand] is my bread and
butter. I dont think I can [ever] quit doing
those two. Maybe when I hit my 40s, I can
try directing. But thats a long way off.
For now, Medina can stay in front of
the camera, and audiences are grateful for
that. After all, he has as his unofcial acting
coach the ubiquitous and equally good
character actor Pen Medina.
My dad taught me that acting is
truth. You cant act sadness; you have to
feel it. Hindi mo puwedeng sabihing sad
ka na dahil naka-kunot yung kilay mo at
may puppy dog eyes ka, Medina says,
inadvertently dashing the hopes of many
wannabe actors. People will know if youre
being truthful or not.
With just a bit of prodding, Medina
shows how honest he can be and talks
about an unexpected detail in his life: that
he is single and has been for the past six
years. Its his shyness and being a hopeless
romantic, he explains, that make it difcult.
When I was 15 or 16, my dad brought
me to a taping of Tabing Ilog because I
had this huge crush on Jodi [Sta. Maria, a
member of the main cast], says Medina. I
was a painfully quiet and shy kid when I met
her on the set. When she had to leave the
room to do a scene, she left her sweater
behind. So I took a whiff of it. Smelled like
owers in early morning dew. Creeper mode.
Of course, there was also the matter of the
elephant in the room: the controversy involving
himself and Baron Geisler. I dont want to
talk about that incident, Medina warns. Sure
thing. But because this is journalism, digging
deeper into Medinas character is required.

74 FH M JANUARY 2017

You obviously treasure your privacy.


How do you stay private as an actor
in a shbowl, especially with what
happened two months ago?
I stay away from controversy. When our
lm Transit was chosen to be the 2013
Philippine entry to the Oscars, Erik Matti
criticized the decision. I was asked by TV
shows for interviews but I declined. I dont
[deal with that] unless I really have to. As for
the case with Baron Geisler, someone had
to put that guy in his place.
Being that vulnerable to other people
because of your work must be difcult.
It depends. Theres strength in being vulnerable.
But if youre too vulnerable, you become weak.
When is the right time to become vulnerable
and when should you go beast mode? When
should you defend yourself?
So where do you draw the line?
Depends on your state that day. Being an
actor is a complicated job. There are days
when you have to act condent but youre
not feeling 100 percent that day. Its an
artform, sabi nga ni Drake, Zero to 100.
Usually, bipolar people are the best actors.
They can go from sad to happy just like that;
change gears at will.
A perk of your job, though, is being
able to watch lms ahead of everyone
else. How was it being a rst-time
MMFF judge last December?
Of course, masaya yung part na yun. I
also had fun working with the rest of the
selection committee. Krip Yuson was there,
Nick Tiongson, Vice Mayor Joy Belmonte,
who was very hands-on and active during
the selection process. It was also the rst
time in a long time that anyone could [send
entries] as long as they had the nished
product. Dati, script lang ang pinagpipilian
ng judges. This time, [participants] had to
submit a complete lm. Which makes sense
kasi you cant tell how good a lm can be
just from the script.
Did you set out to make a statement
by picking mostly indie lms for the
lm fest?
The ones that made it were simply the best

facebook.com/FHM.ph stwitter.com/fhmphil sfhmphilofcial

eight lms that the panel chose. I dont agree


with all the choices, but its a democracy.
We watched 27 lms and half of them were
shit. Most of the commercial lms, though,
maganda naman kasi [the people that made
them] already knew the basics of lmmaking.
As for me, I had to keep in mind that the MMFF
audience is made up of families with kids. They
dont want to watch a depressing poverty-porn
movie on Christmas day. So I looked for lms
that had entertainment value with substance.
Do you think the Pinoy audience is
ready for no Vice Ganda and Vic Sotto
movies on Christmas Day every year?
The MMFF audience wont change overnight
for sure. Its going to take a long time [for
them to change]. Theres been a clamor for
alternative cinema, anyway, since the indie
movementthe rst Cinemalayastarted in
2004. Twelve years nang nakikita ng tao na
puwede pala na may alternative cinema.
Speaking of alternative cinema, do you
feel any pressure to stand out, having
Pen Medina for a father and your
brothers being actors as well?
I dont really try to think about being
different from my family of actors. I just do
my thing. Before I became an actor, I really
wanted to be a scriptwriter. I self-studied
screenwriting. Ive been writing since I
was in high school, but a lot of it were just
essays for homework. I always knew I was
good at it since I was in high school.
Were you the typical artist in school,
always with the theater group?
Not really. I didnt like school very much. In
high school in San Beda, I was lazy, sleeping
in class all the time, always late. But I was
the type of student who could get by without
doing much. I was the only one not from the
honors class who got in Ateneo, for example.
And that was a big deal in my high school.
After the results come out, in morning
assembly, they would call up to the stage
the students who got acceptance letters to
[universities]. When it came to me, Crispin
MedinaCrispin MedinaCrispin Medina?
Sir, baka tulog pa . Wala ako. I wasnt a
morning person. Still not a morning person.

www.fhm.com.ph

College was better, though?


No, I got honorably dismissed. Kicked out, in
short. Ang ginawa ko lang kasi, tumambay,
look at pretty girls passing by. Sinagad ko rin
yung free cuts ko in class, pero hindi naman
ako bumagsak sa classes ko, except for one.
I just didnt meet the required grade point
average to stay in Ateneo. But really, I got
kicked out because I was kind of infatuated
with this girl. She didnt know me, but I was in
love with her. I spent my nal exams learning
to draw her. She was a senior, a commercial
model, about to graduate, and I knew I was
never going to see her again. So I taught
myself to do portraits and drew one of her.
When I was done, I had it framed to give to
her. Yun pala , seniors nished their exams a
week earlier than us lowerclassmen. So she
was gone. I still have her portrait at home.
Must be easier to get the girls now,
being an actor.
Dene easy. Im easy to get, not them. Ive
been single for almost six years now. I tried
Tinder but then I deleted it. I liked it because
its less expensive, and needs less time
and effort. You just cut to the chase. I got
to meet a lot of interesting people there
professionals, doctors, lawyers, but also

www.fhm.com.ph

crazy, psychotic girls. They had problems; I


tried to help, but theres just so much you can
do. All in all, sulit naman ang Tinder for me.
How do kids who come from a family
of actors start out in the business?
For me, the whole acting thing just
happened by accident. I was out of college,
painting, acting in students short lms,
writing. And then my mom [ sent me this
email for an audition. I went to the audition
and I got the part. It turned out to be for Ang
Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros. That was
my break into the industry. I landed TV roles
and more lm roles after that.
One of those lm roles, as Moises in
Transit , brought you to shoot in Israel.
How was that like?
It was fun. I worked during the day and
then went out at night to explore. It was
super safe since we were in Tel Aviv. The
atmosphere was very similar to Manila,
except that Israel has a more rst-world
vibe. Instead of neighborhood sari-sari
stores, they have mom and pop stores
where they sell clothes, food, etc. There
was no trafc at all. And there was just one
mall, the size of Ali Mall. Isrealites are very
warm, emotional, family-oriented people, like

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Filipinos. But the main difference is, if you


cross them, or do something wrong, theyre
very confrontational. Tayo, we avoid conict.
Sila , they tell you what they think.
What can we expect from you in 2017?
More projects. Im working on one now
entitled Roygbiv, a cross between Y Tu
Mama Tambien and Trainspottingwith my
good friend Alan [Chanliongco]. Im writing;
hes directing. It explores how relationships
are magically formed in Manilas
underground party scene. The story is about
the ignition, combustion, and wildre spread
of Manilas drug underworld; a precursor to
President Dutertes drug war. Hopefully, we
can get funding this year to be able to send
it to the Berlin International Film Festival in
2018. We want to show [the international
lm community] that people here also know
how to have a good time; that Manila isnt
just about people eating their own shit.
Will it just be all work for you this year,
then?
Plano ko magpapayat at mag-Muay Thai
even with a fractured hand. Dating? If it
happens, then go. How does that saying
go? Its not about nding the one; its about
being the one. Go Internet! FH M

JANUARY 2017 FH M 75

Trophy Wife

PHOTOGRAPHY

J E R I C O M O N T E M AYO R

ST YLI N G N A F CAN D E L A R IA
M AK E U P R H I N A M O N T E M AYO R
HAI R G E OR M I M PE R IA L
S H OT O N LO CATI O N AT VI LLA N O N ITA TAGAYTAY

t some point during our shoot with the very prolic Fhaye Lorenzosee her two calendars this montha couple arrived for a pre-nup
shoot. Sure, the couple was cute and in love but you could tell their crew was way more interested in our subject. It got us wondering
though. If you manage to put a ring on someone like Fhaye, would you do one of those sexy pre-nup shoots? We denitely would, but
probably just convince her to do it solo at the last moment .Ash Mahinay

MASTE R
YO U R L O O K
Edited by ASH MAHINAY
mikeyashlie.mahinay@
summitmedia.com.ph

I T E M S

The new
journey
ESSENTIAL KIT FOR THE YEAR AHEAD
PHOTOGRAPHY: DAIRY DARILAG
WORDS: ASH MAHINAY

PANTONEs fresh and leafy color of the yearGreenery 15-0343is


our inspiration for the kit you need to get through 2017. Lets focus on
premium materials rather than hype for these: metal and leather, not knits
and prints that fade. Because just like how trees become bigger and
better in time, these are key items that gain character through everyday
use and will grow with you.

Some beautiful watches


double as family
heirlooms and we
understand the fear of
daily driving a watch
you mean to pass down
later on. Opt for a sports
watch like the Formula
1, which does everyday
duty without scrimping
on good looks.
Formula 1, POA, TAG
Heuer

GREENERY
PANTONE 15-0343

Add to the leather on


your feet and waist
with this creamy leather
number that gives that
extra bit of protection for
your gear.
Briefcase, P8,500,
Katre at shopkatre.
com

When your old-school


shades make you look
just a bit too tito, these
skater-inspired frames
twist the age dial in the
other direction without
going overboard.
Latch, P10,295,
Oakley

A Czech brand, made


in Italy, and with an
amusingly Pinoy-sounding
name. One brown leather
pair is really all you need,
so make it count
Brogues, P6,199.75,
Bata Shoes

WHAT
THE
FLOWERS?
photography: A R T U
s t y lin g: M E G

M A N Z A N O

A s s i s t e d

N E P O M U C E N O
b y

groom i ng: G E E V E E
m odel : C L A U D I O

ALE X

CHAN,

ARA

N E P OM U CE N O

V I L L A G R A C I A
O F

M E R C A T O R

FLOWE R S FR O M TE C S ON FLOWE R S WWW.TE CS ON FLOWE R S.COM

ack in elementary, you


may have learned that
owers have ovaries and
bees carry pollen as some
sort of ower sex-enabler.
Interesting, but it didnt
help you at all when staring
at the riot of color that is
a oral shop and deciding
what kind of owers a girl
wants. To make sure you
dont accidentally bring
owers for the dead to a
date, here is FHMs handy
guide.

LOVE IS:

RED
in rose form

V
D
A
S
P

I B R A N T
E M A N D S
T T E N T I O N
I G N I F I E S
A S S I O N

Like the re
burning in your
loins

Turt l eneck k ni t , P 1,9 9 5 ,


Zara ; C orduroy di nne r
jack et , P 5,9 9 5, Za ra

Bom ber j a ck et , P 1,9 9 5 , M a n g o M a n ;


Bei ge s w ea t er, P 2,9 9 5 , M a n g o M a n ;
S hi rt , P 1,9 9 5, Topm an

GET WELL SOON WITH:

ORANGE AND

LAVENDER
in roses, gerberas, and lisianthus

O
O
L
F

R A N G E I S F U L L
F L I F E
A V E N D E R I S
U L L O F Y O U T H

You never give up, you pick yourself


up, you brush yourself off, you get up
and move on and overcome and that is
what I believe! JOHN CENA

Jacket , P6, 4 9 5, Mango


Man; Sh ir t , P 79 5,
To p man

APOLOGY IS:

PINK
co-st arring W H ITE

S Y M B O L I Z I N G
J O Y A N D
H A P P I N E S S
T U R N T H A T
F R O W N ,
U P S I D E D O W N

Real men wear pink,


yes, but it is not
necessary for
an apology

Bom ber j a ck et , P 1,9 9 5 ,


M a ngo Ma n; B ei ge
sw ea t er, P,2,9 9 5, Man g o
M a n; S hi rt , P 1,9 9 5,
To pm a n

FRIENDSHIP IS:

YELLOW

in sunflower form

A S H O T
O F P U R E
H A P P I N E S S
S H E W O N T
G E T T H E
W R O N G
I D E A I F
Y O U G O
W I T H T H I S
C O L O R

for:
exam passers
award winners
graduations
debuts
winners at life in
general

J a ck et , P 5,9 9 5, Za ra;
Pol o, P 8 9 9.75, S a har a
at Met ro G a i s a no
Depa rt m ent S t ore;
Tie, P 29 9.75, Wa l l
S t reet Neck w ea r
at Met ro G a i s a no
Depa rt m ent S t ore

ANNIVERSARY IN:

WHITE
P U R I T Y
U N I T Y

A N D

J U S T L I K E
Y O U R M O M S
W E D D I N G
D R E S S

or your wifes!

LIFE ON THE
U PSWI NG
Edited by CECILE JUSI-BALTASAR
cecilejbaltasar@gmail.com

King Kaiju
THE NISSAN GT-R INVADES MANILA
WORDS: ASH MAHINAY | PHOTOGRAPHY: IAN GUEVARA

Boost

M OTOR
EDITED BY

ALLAN P. HERNANDEZ
allan.hernandez
@summitmedia.com.ph

Our initial plan for review was a live blog


of the experience. But writing while driving
is bad and wrong, so here is our delayed
stream-of-thought review of the 2017
Nissan GT-R, the rst of its lineage to be
ofcially sold in our country.
We eagerly approach the Katsura
Orange car and discoverafter some
inappropriate fondlingthat the ush door
handles open front to back instead of up.
This confuses several people. This is probably
aerodynamics. The interior is marketed as
a far cry from the cheap digs of the original
2007 (!) model. It does feel appropriately
plush and modern but we forget all about it
when the 570hp VR38DETT twin-turbo V6
growls to life. If we learned anything from the
late Paul Walker, its that cool car guys can
name engines and not mistake a pizza variant
for one.
The titanium exhaust is quiet and
unobnoxious as we poke along through
trafc. Approaching a hump possessing
near 90-degree edges caused our bums
to clench tightly but we are pleased to
report that the GT-R cleared every incline
and badly constructed speedbump we
encountered without a scratch.
Idling at a stop, we notice a slight
burning smell? Oh my God! We should
never have attempted to drive a supercar
in trafcits about to self-immolate for
sure because cars like these were never
meant to be driven this way! Internet haters
are about to be vindicated with pictures of

N i s s a n

Godzilla on re in Manila. But we actually


just left the aircon on fresh air mode.
Putting it to recirculate solves things and at
no point did the GT-R threaten to grenade
itself. Ha! Suck on that.
The second star of the car, after its
supercar-level engine, is the transmission.
Theres no way to miss it because it makes
a distinct constant whirring drone. Welcome
to life with a sequential transmission!
Sequentials dont allow direct selection of
gears. Instead you must row through them
one at a time, which is where also having a
dual-clutch is handy. If its your rst time to
encounter one (most likely), it sounds like the
gearbox is actually outside the car and you
forgot to close the windows completely. At
low speeds, the gears occasionally gachunk
into place like comical toy cogs. The trade-off?
zero to 100 in 2.7 seconds. And basically
invisible gearshifts when youre running hard,
which is when it really matters anyway.
When opening up the GT-R on blessedly
empty roads, the many layers and problems
of your life peel away until all that is left
is the rapidly approaching lights on the
horizon and a stupid smile on your face. This
is where we stopped processing the car
and just appreciated it as a masterpiece of
Japanese engineering.
And then the car spoke to us.
Literally! The infotainment system
suddenly chimed in with In 200 meters,
speed camera.

G T R

R I D E S L I KE

F E E L S L I KE

L O O KS L I KE

B UY AT

A well-restrained
land missile

Having the
biggest stick in
any car fight

(If its coming up


behind you) Fear
itself

P7,350,000

facebook.com/FHM.ph stwitter.com/fhmphil sfhmphilofcial

JANUARY 2017 FH M 97

Boost

H E A L T H

Drop your
gross habits
A DOCTOR GIVES YOU
THE LOW-DOWN ON
HOW DISGUSTING
GERM-WISESOME OF
YOUR FAVORITE HABITS
ACTUALLY ARE

The blowjob after sex


while she has her period

WORDS STEF DELA CRUZ, MD,


WITH REPORTS FROM CECILE JUSI BALTASAR
ILLUSTRATION BORG SINABAN

98 FH M JANUARY 2017

While some people do cringe at the idea of having sex while a woman has her
period, its not gross. It even comes with benetsgirls are hornier mid-menses
and orgasms may help with her cramps.
However, demanding a blowjob right after isnt the same thing. Before your girl
gives head, heres a heads-up: A sausage dripping in ketchup does not make a
great appetizer.
Unlike the blood in your arteries, menstrual blood has been exposed to
microbes for a long time. Blood is rich in nutrients. After all, carrying nutrients is
part of its skillset, which is why microbes think blood is like a big buffet.
The result: A bloody broth full of germs. Do you really want your girl to lick that
off you?
S E R I O U S LY : Although it does look like blood, menstrual blood isnt made
up of just blood. Its a mixture of old tissue (not the bathroom kind), vaginal and
cervical secretions, and bacteria from the vaginal lining. Tell your girl that before
she goes south.
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www.fhm.com.ph

The Side B
Okay, cards on the table: Turning
your underwear inside out and
endearingly nicknaming it Side
B is not a great way to conserve
water.
Consider your underwear a
microbe incubator. The longer
you wear it and the damper it
gets, the more likely germs are
going to start building happy
colonies down there. Turning
it inside out isnt going to help
much becauseand you already
know thisyour underwear is
made of porous fabric.
The next time you want to use
Side B of your undies, remember
this: Theres always a little bit
of poop in that wonderful germ

cocktail that you dont want to put


in the laundry just yet.
S E R I O U S LY : The
bacteria E. Coli can cause
severe infection, and one way
its transmitted is through
person-to-person contact. Say
someone infected with E. Coli
does a bum scratch through
his, er, contaminated porous
underwear, and then proceeds
to make coffeewith the same
coffeemaker from which you
pour your own cup. You stand
the chance of getting infected,
as well.

The
sputum
swallow
You cough. You taste the phlegm in your
mouth. You swallow. Doesnt quite taste
like candy but you seem to like it, yes?
You might want to spit the next time you
cough up something from your lungs. If
you have undiagnosed tuberculosis (every
Filipino is exposed to this infection), then
there may be tubercle bacillia fancy term
for tuberculosis germsin your phlegm.
These germs are tough. They can
escape the acid in your stomach, setting
up camp in your gut in what is called
gastrointestinal tuberculosis.
In this case, it denitely is better to spit
than to swallow.
S E R I O U S LY : Although not as
common as tuberculosis involving the
lungs, gastrointestinal TB is deadlier.
It is often diagnosed late as it mimics
other abdominal diseases, according to
a 2012 study by Dr. Saurabh Mukewar
and colleagues published in Clinical and
Translational Gastroenterology.

www.fhm.com.ph

facebook.com/FHM.ph stwitter.com/fhmphil sfhmphilofcial

JANUARY 2017 FH M 99

Boost
The
fearless
fart
Heres one habit thats harmless: farting
shamelessly does you no harm, save for
the assault on your nose.
Wondering why farts stink? Hydrogen
sulde is the culprit behind that familiar
whiff of rotten egg. Its a compound which
may even save lives one day, reported
Mark Wood and his colleagues in a 2014
study published in the Nitric Oxide journal.
Wood and his team worked on AP39,
a compound meant to bring hydrogen
sulde into cells. Take note, however, that
using AP39 does not achieve the same
effect as getting high on your farts.

The postbuttscratch
banquet

Stef dela Cruz, MD is a health


columnist. She is the only doctor-recipient
of the 2013 Health Media Award from the
Department of Health. Her blog,
www.stefdelacruz.com, is a 2015 Philippine
Blogging Awards Hall-of-Famer. Connect
with her on Twitter, Instagram, or
Facebook: @stefdelacruzmd.
100 FH M JANUARY 2017

When your bum itches, you feel


more gratied if you get your nger
deep in there, scratching away like
theres no tomorrow. Then, you
enjoy a burger without bothering
to wash your hands. Handwashing
shmandwashing, right?
Stop right there. Your poop
just like your girls menstrual
bloodis fertilizer for microbial
growth. The longer it stays in
your butt crack, the more likely it
attracts harmful species that can
make you sick.

facebook.com/FHM.ph stwitter.com/fhmphil sfhmphilofcial

Gentlemen, please. Wash


your hands after scratching your
butt. Repeat after me: poop is not
peanut butter.
S E R I O U S LY : Doctors
can make themselves hoarse
telling people to wash their
hands. Listen to them. Even the
spread of the common coldnot
just poopcan be avoided with
frequent handwashing. Wiping
your hands on the front of your
jeans wont cut it. Scrub your
hands with soap and water.
www.fhm.com.ph

Now you can take the babes


everywhere you go!

Get

on your smartphone or tablet. Download the app now!

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RICE

CHIPS

MASHED
POTATOES

PITA BREAD

BAKED BEANS

NOODLES

TOFU

TOMATOES

BUNS

COLESLAW

FRESH VEGGIES

CHEESE

GRILLED
MEAT

KETCHUP

MAYONNAISE

PEANUT SAUCE

BBQ SAUCE

CHEESE SAUCE

SIDES
SWEET AND
SOUR SAUCE

PORK CHOP
INCH THICK

PORK CUBES
1-INCH CUBES

CHICKEN
6 OZ

FISH
MEDIUM SIZE

50

MINUTES

60

70
7
EGGPLANT
-INCH SLICE

CORN
1 EAR

75

10

TEMPERATURE (C)

SIRLOIN STEAK
-INCH THICK

BURGER PATTY
-INCH THICK

MR

MW

RARE

MEDIUM
RARE

MEDIUM

MEDIUM
WELL

WELL
DONE

F O O D

How to Inihaw

80

ARE YOU READY TO HOST THE MOST EPIC BARBEQUE


PARTY? HERES A FOOL-PROOF GUIDE ON HOW YOU CAN
COOK THE MOST TENDER, TASTIEST, JUICIEST GRILLED
FOOD WITHOUT BURNING YOUR HOUSE DOWN!

RESEARCH FROM THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF AGRICULTURE AND UNIVERSITY OF MINNESOTA

45

INFOGRAPHICS CHISE ALCANTARA & JOHN LAURENCE PATULAN

YOGURT

BUTTER

MINT JELLY

GRAVY

CALAMANSI

SOY SAUCE

VINEGAR

Boost

LEMON JUICE

SAUCE

B O O K E N D E R

W H AT S YO U R
GAME PLAN IN

2017?
Yung biggest challenge
ko ngayon is kung paano
ako tatagal sa industriya.
Swerte ako na nakapasok
ako dito kasi pangarap ko
lang siya, so kailangan kong
ingatan at galingan para
hindi ko masayang yung
pagkakataon. Kelangan ko
pagbutihin kasi sinasabi ng
ibang tao, pag nagpa-sexy
ka raw, habang-buhay ka ng
ganun. Kumbaga dead end
siya. Kasi pinakita mo na
lahat. Kaya rin gusto kong
maging magaling na aktres,
kasi hindi habang-buhay
kaya ng katawan ko magpasexy. Gusto ko patunayan
na maraming talented dyan,
nagkataon lang na sexy rin.
Ha ha! Gusto ko i-break yung
misconception na yung sex
appeal ay nasa paghuhubad
lang. FHM

THE YEAR OF

KIM DOMINGO

GINEBRA SAN MIGUEL


2017 CALENDAR GIRL

HOLIDAY
HANGOVER?
H OW TO K E E P
T H E PA R TY
G OI N G

ASC Ref. Number: G050P122116G

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