A GUIDE TO WRITING AN AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL TERM PAPER

Often one of the best experiences of a course in Marriage and Family is the writing of an
autobiographical term paper. Through such a paper, the student is able to relate the material
he/she has learned in the classroom to experiences he/she has had in his/her own life and to
attempt to explore those feelings and experiences as honestly as possible. In order to achieve the
candor that is essential to such a term paper, the student should keep in mind that the instructor
shall observe strict confidentiality and respect the anonymity of the papers.

The following questions are provided to guide the student in thinking about and structuring his
term paper. Please follow and answer each question if you can. If you cannot answer, please
explain why. Your paper MUST BE TYPED/COMPUTERIZED and should be between 7 and
10 pages long. Please use one inch margins all the way around. I will not take off for what you
write but I will take off for poor writing style, misspelled words, incomplete sentences, or poor
grammar (including inappropriate language).

1. What were your early childhood experiences in love? Was your early experience in your
family one of affectionate acceptance or of rejection? Did your parents openly display love and
affection for one another? For you and your siblings? Do you regard yourself as an outgoing,
affectionate person or a reticent, rather cold person? Is it more important that your mate be
warmly affectionate or perceptive and practical (choose one or the other only). How do you look
upon the responsibility of having and rearing children? Do you think you will be a GOOD
parent?

2. What were your childhood experiences regarding sex? How did you acquire your sex
education? What is your attitude toward sex as you anticipate marriage? What experience and
attitude do you expect your mate to have. (If you are already married, think back prior to your
marriage and try to answer the question.)

3. Would you categorize your parents' marriage as vital or total or was it conflict habituated,
devitalized, or passive-congenial? If your parents are separated, how did their breakup affect
you? If you have a step parent, how would you categorize the marriage? In general, what kind of
home life did you have as a child? What were your most significant family experiences between
ages five and twelve? Between ages thirteen and eighteen? Since you started to college?

4. How did your parents tend to settle their quarrels? Would you categorize your parents
marriage as authoritarian or democratic? Do you tend to be authoritarian, permissive, or
democratic in working out conflicts? In working out conflicts with you, were your parents
authoritarian, permissive, or democratic? How would you anticipate settling conflicts in your
own marriage if you are unmarried? How do you settle them if you are currently married? Now
the same question with your children?

5. What were your relationships to your siblings as a child? Who got their own way the most?
What are your relations with them today? Does your position in the family (whether oldest,
middle, or youngest - male or female) bring any special strain or reward?
6. Were ceremonial observances important in your family when you were a child? What special
rituals can you remember for birthdays, Christmas, New Year, Holy Week, Easter and so on?
What did you like the best? Will or are any of these carried on today or in the future?

7. Is your approach to life, your "life style," essentially negative or essentially positive? Are most
people good and to be trusted, or do most people have to be watched so as to keep them honest?
Do you consider yourself to be essentially a rebel or essentially a conformist? Do you become
angry when you do not get your own way? Do other people's suggestions and ideas seem stupid
many times? Which of the following three terms most accurately describes you: practical,
humanistic, or religious? Why did you choose this description over the other two choices?
Describe your ideal mate. What do/did you really want as a partner? Would such a person be
attracted to you? Why or why not?

8. Do you think you have self-understanding? What are the chief goals of your life? Name at
least 5 or 6. Name and explain your 5 most important values. (Examples might be: wealth,
power, fame, to give service, to gain knowledge, to maintain your health.) What do you fear
most? List and explain at least 3 fears. How did you acquire your values, goals, and fears?

9. In conclusion, describe the person you are today. Write a second paragraph about the person
you want to become. Do you expect to change much in your life. What would most like to
change about yourself? Can you do it? Does a marriage partner have anything to do with these
changes? If you were dying right now, what is the most important thing you might say to your
best friend about life and how to lead a good one?

Prepared by:

E.M. JAMILLA
Instructor
SCL 9 Marriage & Family