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EISSUE 5
APRIL 2005
 CONTENTS
1…..Narcisse 31….. ,,
2…..Contents 32…..Brain of Narcisse
3…..Rogue’s Gallery 33…..Across Golden Pond
4…..I think, there-fore I blog 34….. ,,
5….. ,, 35….. ,,
6…..Interview 36….. ,,
7….. ,, 37….. ,,
8…..Tammi’s Time of the Month 38…..Becky’s Beauty Spot
9…..Consumer Passion 39….. ,,
10….. ,, 40…..Tammi’s Torment’s (Quiz)
11…..Polls apart 41….. ,,
12…..Lori’s Film Review 42….. ,,
13….. ,, 43…..Bunny-Girl Competition
14….. ,, 44…..A Question of Safety
15….. ,, 45….. Readers Thoughts
16…..The Style Council 46….. ,,
17….. ,, 47….. ,,
18….. ,, 48….. Leigh Smythe – It’s Agony!
19…..How many candles? 49….. ,,
20…..A first step to confidence 50….. ,,
21….. ,, 51…..Fashion Review
22…..April Fool!! 52….. ,,
23….. ,, 53….. ,,
24….. ,, 54…..Quiz Answers
25…..The Low-down with Lowla 55…..Born to shop(Adverts)
26….. ,, 56….. ,,
27…..Centre-fold 57….. ,,
28….. ,, 58…..And now, the end is near
29….. ,, 59….. ,,
30…..Health & Beauty

2
ROGUE’S GALLERY
OR CONTRIBUTING REPORTERS IF YOU LIKE!!!!!

ME TAMMI

BECKY LISA-GAYLE LEIGH

LORIANNE RACHEL LOWLA

3
 I think, therefore, I BLOG
Right then ……. Blog time…..blog, blog b- b-l-o-g …….. Whys it called a
Blog anyway? Huh? ……Bloody
……Bloody Loads Of Gibberish?
Gibberish? ….. Brilliant
Brilliant Lines
Overly gratuitous? …. Brains Like Old Giblets? Answers on a postcard to E.
Bunny, Chocolate Egg Lane, somewhere in Wiltshire.
This month I shall mostly be talking about ….. WASPS!!! Why
wasps I hear you gibber, well, quite simply,
simply, put in a nutshell, I CAN’T
STAND the Blighters (Critters to those of a United persuasion). I mean to
say….. What did the Almighty person (of no sexual orientation) upstairs,
think they were doing putting wasps on the face of the Earth in the first
place?
place?
AND!!!!! To make matters worse, old Noah had the chance to rid us
once and for all of them, and what did the slap-
slap-head do? Chose cuddly
Unicorns for the chop instead ….. WHAT A PLONKER!!!
Now, you may think that this is just the insane ramblings of
someone high on nail-
nail-varnish fumes, BUT!! You’d be (mostly) wrong in this
assumption. You see, I believe, and this seems to be born out throughout the
Animal Kingdom, that each Critter has a reason to be here, part of the food
chain,
chain, a pollinator, you name it , deep down they all have their uses. Just look
at the lovely Bee for example. It pollinates, feeds birds, makes honey and looks
cute in Easter pictures …useful little fellow,
fellow, and then ….there’s
….there’s the WASP.
Now what
what have we in the pluses column for Mr. Waspie
…..erm…..ah…. well…OK, there’s….well
there’s….well they….. and sometimes they ……..
SEE!!!!!! BUGGER ALL!!!! They don’t even look nice! Look at their houses!
Bees, lovely hexagonal lil structures full of useful, nice, yummy
yummy things,
Wasps, made of paper and damned ugly! 1 – 0 Mr. Bee.
Bee.
Looks …. Bees, pretty yellow and black , pleasing to the eye in a fat
jocular manner like a much loved bumbling Uncle, a Wasp, yellow and black
, worn like a robbers jumper
jumper with all the appeal of an old Head Mistress, 2- 2-0!!!

4
 I mean, be honest, hands up who likes wasps? They are their own
worst enemies! They come across as the playground bullies of the Insect World
don’t they? The nearest I get to liking the buggers is when some-some-one mentions
a waspie, but that’s another story!!
Cosmetic surgery! There’s another gem our lil bee friends provide us
with, used to plump lips, might have a go myself, and bee- bee-sting has been
proved to help sufferers
sufferers of Arthritis too, what clever lil fellows they are. In
puberty, the first buds of breast development are oft fondly referred to as Bee-Bee-
stings; imagine if you told a lil girl she had wasp-
wasp-stings?! She’d be running
up the path, shaking her ringlets and screaming
screaming blue murder!!!
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not Waspist passé, but, just one of you
put up your perfectly manicured appendage and swear on all things Prada
that you have EVER been to a picnic that was not , at some point, subject to
the rude intrusions of a member of the wasp family! Go on … nope?.... didn’t
think so!!
So where, I hear you squeal, is this insane ramble taking us?
Buggered if I know! I mean, I’m not advocating the mass slaughter of all
things wasp-
wasp-like,
like, no, no, no, well…. NO! I just feel that we should take the
head of the Insect Kingdom (His Royal Highness, the Great Praying Mantis,
or who-
who-ever)
ever) to one side and have a quite word in his ear.
You know, suggest that he give them a make-
make-over,
over, maybe a nice
Lilac two piece and drop the buzz, that sort of thing.
You never know,
know, giggle , they may just grow on you!

HUGS
MANDY XX

5
 “ Knowing me, Knowing you “
INTERVIEW

Well , you met one half of this dynamic duo last month, so its only fair that Rachel #2 gets
grilled too ( worse than Mr. & Mrs. Isn’t it?! Heheheheheh )

Name ? Rachel Greene

D.O.B. 22 Feb. 1975

How old were you when I was dressed by my sister from the age of 3ish ( a bit vague, may
you started cross-dressing? have been earlier)

When did you start cross- About 7

dressing on your own?

How did you feel? OK, but by then I had dressed a lot with my sister, so it was more
of a game, it wasn’t sexual.

Did you “come out” to her? Yes, well , she started it.

How did she take it? She loves it! I’m her only brother, but she always wanted a sister.

Would you go all the way No, very happy being completely male.
and have SRS?

Would you dress 24/7 No, I dress for fun and social (to be honest I get paid more as a
guy)

So you do go out dressed? Yes, I do.

At what age did you start As a sexually active TV, 18.

doing that?

Where did you go? Gay & Lesbian society disco at University.

Kool, you have fun? Nervous as hell at first, but, yes. I went to a load of such disco and
parties, etc, then.

What was the first “ girly” A pair of black stockings.

thing you bought?
6
How comes? My mother only had tan ones and I really wanted black ones. That
was at 13 when it started getting sexual as well.

How would you describe the That would be at University again, and it was really scary. I
sensation of dressing in your thought everybody would point and laugh, but I wasn’t that bad,
own stuff for the first time reasonably passable.
and going out?

How would you describe Vampy, but I prefer other people to judge me.
your look?

What is the best experience Some of the times my and BB have been together.
you have had dressed?

How did you meet? We had chatted on webcam before, then she invited me around to
her parents house (they were on holiday).

So , you go out a lot Yes, we do.

together?

Wheres the best TG venue to TX at the mo.

go to?

Why’s that? Its probably the nicest TV venue at the mo, Sparkle in Manchester
last year was good too. We have a lot of friends that do TX
regularly too.

Do you think your sexuality Probably. I definitely prefer TV’s to guy’s more so now, and I
has an impact on your really enjoy dressing for sex.
dressing?

Would you define your Yes, it is nowadays.

dressing as a sexual thing
then?

Where do you hope to be in 5 years older would be nice.

5 years time?

Thank-you very much. Thanks

7
 T T M ammi‘s ime of the onth

OK Guy’s and Girl’s....are you sitting comfortably?....then (god help us!) let her begin!!

Welcome to Tammi world. You don’t have to be crazy to work here. But don’t
make sense if you aint!!!!

Well, another eventful month in the life of Tammi. More children coming to
rent??) My Daughter not getting
live with me. (Anyone got a room I can rent
school,, and actually paying attention in school
suspended from school
And……
And …… far too much sex……………………..well possibly possibly..

randomnesss can I come up with tthis

Well what randomnes month??
his month

thoughtt when you be

I’ve been playing X box online. I though beccame an adult
adult,, bulling
was meant to have stopped. Nope Nope!!
!! 3 guys hunted me down like a frightened
deer.
little dee Still,, I manag
r. Still managed me.!!
ed to take 2 of um with me. !! The whole playing
console
console games online
online is still very new to me. BUT HELL, IT’S FUN!!!.
FUN!!!.
If only for the fact that I get to take out my frustrations and get to insult
people from all over the world!!!
How much longer before the latest computer games are simply downloaded on
console?
to your consol which,, kids are behaving better so ga
e? Speaking of which gave
ve them the
back..
360 back

American Idol has started. Cue the most famous man in music and his snide
comments. Sums up the modern music world world,, when the most famous man
sing,, cant dance and cant play an in
cant sing instrument,
strument, and I’m not talking
Chico
about C hico!!!
hico Gotta
!!! Gotta love Simon C Cow
owel
ow ell.
el l. He created a TV role ,now defined by
him. Only reason I watch it is for when he stands there there,, telling these people ttoo
wake up and smell the ros roses. DJ’ss coming ttoo me
es. I have done it when I get DJ’
asking for me to promote them. Sometimes you’re just not good enough enough… …

Cya xx

8
 CONSUMER PASSION
A HISTORY OF EASTER and the EASTER EGG

Delve into the history and origins of the Christian festival of Easter and you come up with a few
surprises. For instance, Easter eggs do not owe their origins to Christianity and originally the festival
of Easter itself had nothing to do with Christianity either. A closer look at the history of both Easter
and the Easter Egg reveals a much earlier association with pagan ritual and in particular, the pagan
rites of spring, dating back into pre history.

For us, the ancient rites celebrating the Spring Equinox are most obviously associated with the
mysterious Druids and places like Stone Henge, but most ancient races around the world had similar
spring festivals to celebrate the rebirth of the year. The Egg, as a symbol of fertility and re-birth, has
been associated with these rites from the earliest times.

Easter Eggs

As well as adopting the festival of Eostre, the Egg, representing fertility and re-birth in pagan times,
was also adopted as part of the Christian Easter festival and it came to represent the 'resurrection' or
re-birth of Christ after the crucifixion and some believe it is a symbol of the the stone blocking the
Sepulchre being 'rolled' away.

In the UK and Europe, the earliest Easter eggs were painted and decorated hen, duck or goose eggs, a
practice still carried on in parts of the world today. As time went by, artificial eggs were made and by
the end of the 17th century, manufactured eggs were available for purchase at Easter, for giving as
Easter gifts and presents

RIGHT!!!!! ENOUGH OF THE HISTORY ITS CHOCOLATE TIME ! ! !

KEY

CHEAP – as chips A WEEK on the hips

TREAT – Oh go on then! A MONTH on the hips

PRICEY – How much? ETERNITY!!!!!!

9
THORNTONS
Fairy Princess Egg
£2.99

CADBURY
Flake Moments Egg
£10.50

GALAXY
Promises Easter Egg
£21.99

PRESTAT
Chocolate Egg
£19.95

NESTLE
Milkybar Buttons Egg
£1.99

LINDT
Assorted Chocolate Egg
£5.99

GUYLIAN
Luxury Egg
£11.49

GREEN & BLACK’S

Dark Chocolate Egg
£5.99

HARROD’S
Milk Chocolate Egg
£9.95

TERRY’S
Chocolate Orange Segsations
10 £5.99
“POLLS APART”
Another month, and another (rather damned scary) probe into the
disturbed psyche of the Lil Boutique members, throwing up an
astounding array mixed vibes, mixed veg, and mix amitosis.
First up was the thorny subject of Politics. To have or to have not
in the hallowed halls of the Narcisse infrastructure. Well……..no, quite
frankly. 53% of you waved your placards screeching NEVER!!!! So by
popular demand we will not be badgering the Leaders of the World for
their opinions on the latest Jimmy Choos. ( Although Tony Blair does walk
with an odd lil mince, but that’s another story!)
Next up was the AMMOUNT of money you spend on your feminine
selves per calendar month. By a fair margin (45%) of you – myself included
– spend in the region of 0£ - £49 per month , not a lot admittedly but
bargains are out there if you want to look!
23% spent between £50 - £99 & 21% on £100 – 149, which, quite
frankly just isn’t fair, god I hate being poor!!! Boo-hoo and as for the 4%
who profess to spending anywhere between £150 and £250 each month
well I’m appalled. You obviously have too much money and I demand you
send me some immediately!!!
Next, as if to prove a point, we asked how this translated as a
percentage of your outgoings. Firstly, would the 4% (and I know who you
are!!!!) kindly step forward for being bloody awkward and receive a slap!!
As with me, the majority spend approximately 10% of their outgoings on
all things fem (58% of you) the rest – about 2% across the board.
So there you have it. Your basic Lil Boutique members a tight-fisted
rich bitch with general apathy to the world around her.

Go Girls!!!! hehehe

11
 LORI’S FILM REVIEW
Hi everybody. Mandy has asked me if I would
be so kind as to rate some movies for her fine magazine.
Having given it some thought, I have agreed to take the
job on. Sounds like fun to me. How do you turn down an
offer like this from someone as cool as Mandy? (Never
hurts to say good stuff about ones new boss, eh?). I
guess that makes me lil boutique’s
Resident Movie Critic.
You may be wondering what qualifies me to take
this job on? Well, to put it simply, a couple of things do.
The first is that I like movies. That always helps. I’m
guessing that’s what landed me the job, however, was
the wage I negotiated for my services. Lets just say I
wont be quitting my day job! That said, this is gonna be
a lot more fun! . My email is lorianne37@hotmail.com if
you wish to write and tell me I suck at this. If you sound
off at me, I might actually learn something from it, so
feel free.

I think a movies first job is to entertain. A movie

can have depth, it can have an uplifting message, it can
evoke a full range of emotions from its viewers, but if
your not happy watching it, if your not having fun, its
pointless. What I’m going to do here is point out what I
did or did not like about a given movie, and let you take
it from there. The stuff I liked might be the same stuff
you wouldn't like, so don't take offence.
I'll try to toss in a little of the plot as well
(provided the movie actually has one....) and hopefully
help you decide if its something you want to watch.
My standard disclaimer is this: if you watch
something based on my review and don't like it, your
going to need to talk to the theatre or video rental place
about getting your money back. Watch them at your own
risk.
Ill be rating the movies on a 1 to 4 scale, 4 being
the best. Also, I wont be covering any porno films, so if
that's your thing, your on your own. I will be mentioning
the film industries rating as well based on the U.S.
system (G, PG, PG-13, and R). Near as I can tell, G
stands "Good", PG for "Pretty good", PG-13 for "pretty
good -13" (not sure what the 13 is for....) and R is for
"Really good". Don't go quoting me on any of that......
12
 Introductions out of the way, lets
get started. The first movie we're going
to cover this month is
Ultra Violet
(Sony pictures, rated PG-13).

starring Milla Jovovich

(the Fifth element, Resident evil)

Allow me to pose a question here: If one is up to ones

armpits in machineguns and needs to kill some evil
people, why would one use a sword instead? Our heroine
starts the movie out as a courier picking up a super
secret package she has been tasked to deliver. We soon
learn that she is not a courier at all (the real courier
shows up and blows her cover), but is in fact an
impostor. Turns out she is really a member of a pseudo
Vampire race (Hemophage, what ever that is?) created
accidentally by the evil American government (ya see, it
would seem us Yanks were trying to build a super soldier
and accidentally made Vampire virus instead. Those guys
are always up to something, aren't they?) on a mission
to steal a top secret weapon.

The package turns out to be a child, stuffed

somehow into an odd shaped suitcase much smaller than
he is, and we're lead to believe he has some sort of
antibody that was grown inside him that kills Vampires. If
this antibody is loosed on the world, it will wipe out the
remaining Vampires. The Vampires mean to kill the kid
off, and Violets job is to bring him to them so that they
can do just that. But when she learns the package is a
child, she becomes his reluctant guardian and ends up
fighting everybody (Vampires included) to keep the kid
alive. I won’t reveal the ending. I will say that the movie
is full of plot twists, has a huge number of guns and
swords and pointy things in it, and was, for the most part
a fun, short, stupid movie.
Milla did a good job as Violet. She's great at
wreaking havoc and looking beautiful in spite of all the
chaos going on around her. The heavily computer graphic
laden cinematography gave the movie a feel that made it
look like a cross between a cartoon and a video game ( as
I understand it the movie was based on a comic book
series)
All in all Ultra Violet was a bit disappointing. I’m
going to give it a rating of 2 out of 4, with the added
disclaimer that it was sorta fun, and if your not looking
for a movie with any depth, it won't kill you to watch this
one. My humble advice would 13 be to wait for the video to
come out
 Well then, lets move on to movie #2 .
New on video (relatively new anyway) is
the movie
"Red eye"
(Dream works pictures, PG-13)
starring Rachel McAdams and
Cillian Murphy,

Directed by Nightmare on elm streets Wes Craven,

this wasn't a movie done in his usual style, that is to say,
this wasn't a horror movie. At least not in the classical
sense. This was actually more of a mystery/intrigue/
psychological thriller type movie, although it did have
some very scary elements to it.
Rachel McAdams stars as hotel manager Lisa
Reisert on what is supposed to be a routine flight to
Miami. She meets a very nice man named Jackson (Cillian
Murphy) as she is waiting at the airport, who just
happens to "coincidentally" be waiting for the same flight
(yeah right). Wouldn't you know it, they end up sitting
next to each other on the plane?

Once they are in the air, our friend Jackson explains

to her that it really isn't a coincidence, he is really just
your run of the mill terrorist wanting to make a quick buck
by relocating some poor diplomat in Lisa's hotel.
As motivation, Jackson explains to Lisa that he has
a very bad man parked in front of her Dads house waiting
to do bad things to her Dad if the move isn't made. But.....
I originally dismissed it as a low budget stupid teen
thriller, but I was surprised! The acting was well done,
the effects were good, and the story believable (mostly)
and Cillian Murphy's Jackson is a very convincing bad guy.
Perhaps the simplicity of the whole thing appealed
to me as well. The whole idea of being stuck in an
airplane at 30,000 feet with no one to turn to for help and
nowhere to run added a very cool element to this film.
Lisa makes a good effort in spite of this handicap. Her
unique approach to improvised in-flight weapons will
cause anyone working in airport security to cringe.
I'm not going to reveal how this one ends either. I'll
let you watch it and find out.
I am going to rate "Red eye" 3 out of 4.
It wasn't flawless, but as movies go it was a good
watch. I’m sure I'll add it to my video collection soon, and
have no problem recommending 14 it to you if you have some
free time on your hands.
 Lastly on the list, new out on video this
week is the movie
"Jarhead"
Universal studios, rated R
(starring Jake Gyllenhaal and Jamie foxx)

This movie is based on a 2003 book written by

former U.S. Marine Anthony Swafford about his
experiences, or rather lack thereof, in the first gulf war.
He must have been very bored.......
My Mom always told me if I didn't have anything
nice to say about somebody, then I should just keep my
mouth shut. Do you think this applies to movies as well?
There is no risk at all of me giving the plot away or
spoiling the end of the movie for you, there simply was no
plot, and the ending was as stupidly pointless as the rest
of the movie was.
We start out with a naive Swoff (Jake Gyllenhaal)
as he finds himself in the U.S. Marine corps, early 1990's,
as a new reluctant recruit. Testosterone fuelled hi-jinks
begin immediately, and don't taper off at all for the rest of
the film.

His new "buddies" tie him off to a bed with duct

tape, and make him believe he's about to be branded.
Swoff decides to fake ill, lying to the nurse. Staff Sgt.
Sykes (Jamie Foxx's character) makes his appearance,
letting him know that he's been picked to try out for scout
sniper school.
At one point during training they are conducting a
live fire exercise when one of the potential recruits freaks
out, pops his head up into the line of fire, and gets blown
away. Another happy moment in this film. Through it all,
Swoff somehow manages to pass scout sniper training
eliminations and becomes a sniper.
The movie meanders on to the Iraqi invasion of
Kuwait ,and the beginning of operation Desert shield, with
the scout snipers being some of the first deployed. The
movie now lapses into boredom.
Its “Apocalypse now for this generation", only
without the action.
Not a movie your gonna want your kids, Grandma,
or pastor to watch. The "F" word gets tossed around in
this movie so much you don't even notice it after a while.
Crazy becomes normal, and through it all nothing really
happens. I just got bored. "Shock and duh" I think was the
effect the producer was trying for. He succeeded
I’m going to give it a rating15
of 1 out of 4. If you’re easily
depressed, avoid this movie like its the plague.
THE STYLE
COUNCIL
GG (Tammi) Versus TV (Rachel G) in a fashion battle to the death!

It seems increasing popular to pit two unlikely components together in popular

television and see who wins, man versus car etc, etc, etc. This months mega
challenge sees gender girl pitted against male-to-female transvestite in a vague
attempt to see if transvestites actually do possess any fashion sense
whatsoever?

That’s the scene set, now for the contest … On the toss of a coin, Tammi wins
and chooses Kirsten Dunst as the icon to mimic, to even things up slightly
Rachel then chooses a Cropped Button Jacket as the clothing item to build a
complete outfit around.

Tammi’s Outfit Rachel’s Outfit

Ok so this is going to be a trendy

girl outfit, with a kind of casual
military theme. Just looking at the
jacket, a baker boy hat is just the
Well the obvious choice would be accessory to top it off.
cropped trousers. However I have
decided to try and go a lil more girly
and add a mini (yes Mandy you can
wear this one lol). Unlike my TG
counterpart not a huge fan of hats.
So started with a cute skirt

16
 So I’m a TV, so mini-skirt next,
right? Wrong I love them but not
with ever outfit, true even a rugby
player looks like a girl in a mini, but
I am brave enough to go for
cropped combats and heels in a
Gwen Stefani style.

I thought the colour was very good

and earthy the edge detail and sash
adds the wholesome and cute touch
Heels so I do look like a girl
rather than a desert soldier

Under the jacket I would go for a

plain top, maybe with some
detail if I want to take the jacket
off.

Wedges are in this year and

another earthly feel again with good
detailing

17
 Great top to give girly edge and if you
get a bit hot under the collar
And of course jewellery, its not a
glitzy outfit so plain and bold
jewellery. Amazing how many GG
and TVs outfits fail at the last fence
because of a lack of attention to
detail when finishing off a look

Simple makeup, nails and hair style

And the bling to finish it off!!! to finish. I think the final look probably
Someone find my Mum its mothers is not very Kirstan Dunst, but I would
day too I’m dressing like a girl! definitely wear it out clubbing.

Tammi’s final thoughts

I always try to build an outfit that I feel totally comfortable in and yet helps
achieve what ever look I am after. I am a Mum so need to keep a certain
amount decorum and keep it toned down. Also need to promote me assets and
check what styles suit me. Accessorise should add not over power the outfit
and no need to kill yourself to look good, but a lil pain is always good!!

Rachel’s final thoughts

I try to dress like modern girls so I look to modern girls for inspiration, I guess if
I wanted to look like Jane Russell, I would look very carefully at her whole outfit,
from shoes, accessories, make-up and hair and mimic that. I choose the high-
street look because I think I look good in it and it is cheap and cheerful. In that
vain I want to look high-street, so I shop in the high-street not in specialist TV
shops. With the internet and e-bay there is no excuse for not being able to put
together that complete outfit that will make you look like the stylish girl you want
to be.

So who won?

Who cares, it was rigged to start with, as is the way with all these things, if a
man was to race a car in a 100 mile straight line race on clear roads, I would
put my money on the car, wouldn’t you? Originally our outfits were very similar
so I went to a second look I tried. So what we learned. Girls find a look you like
and looking like a girl doesn’t mean a mini skirt, top, stockings and heels.
Mandy put down the gun I was kidding. Please let us know your feelings and if
you want us to bring this back give us your ideas,

18
How
Paula Collins
many Candles????
Charlene
(April 20th) (April 3rd – 1972)

Jennifer Elise Petal

(April 17th – 1959) (April 24th)
TO ALL MY FRIENDS…..
OUR VERY
Amanda
(April) HAPPY OWN
TAMMI
(1st April – 1980)

BIRTHDAY!!
Heather
(April)
XXXXXXXX Caroline
(April 11th – 1945)

Tori
(April 26th -1974) Jean
(April)

Minki
(April) Melany
(April)

Mike
(April) Ironman
(April)

Heather Gary
(April) (April)

Jason
(April 10th -1977) April
(April - 1957)

19
 A First Step to

Confidence
I wanted to share with you my personal experience of coming out to family friends and work
colleagues. I would say there’s no wrong or right way to do this but this is how I did, I must say I was
very slow in coming our spent a long time trying to deny who and what I was but important thing is I
made it out that closet and into the world.
The first person I told that I know personally was a friend who I worked with, we became quite
friendly before he left to go to university. In the summer he came back to work in his holidays and I suggested we
should go for a drink. I wanted to tell him because I knew he would understand but I did not know how to broach
the subject. One night we were sitting outside a pub where we live and he made a comment about my hair. Last
time he saw me I was bald (stupid testosterone played havoc with my follicles) but, by the wonders of modern
science, I had managed to grow some back but I was too flustered to explain.
He went to the loo and I sat there thinking ‘I’ve got to tell him the truth’ and the butterflies in my
tummy were not just fluttering they where giving me a damn good kicking. When he came back I explained the
reason why I had more hair, that I had huge doubts about my gender and was trying to limit my hair loss and I did
not want to wear a wig if I felt transition was right for me. I went on to explain about GID (gender identity
disorder). He sat there and listened really intently as I explained everything to him. I must admit I sort of went into
autopilot and felt slightly detached from what I was saying, but saying that, it was a huge relief to finally be totally
honest with someone and he was very supportive. Looking back it seems totally bizarre. I mean, at that point I was
not even dressing but I really needed an outlet to all the thoughts spinning around in my tiny brain. Over the next
few weeks I found it much easier to express my feelings about all my issues and get some feed back from what I
was saying.
A few months later, I was now cross-dressing and, I suppose, learning all the fun about being a woman
and having someone to share it with was great, but I had an overwhelming feeling that I needed to tell my family.
For me coming out was all about honesty. For so long I had hid my feelings and that does take its toll on you
emotionally.
I was well aware that telling my family carried a huge risk of rejection even more so with the fact I
was in the very early stages and not really sure what direction I was heading other than I had major doubts about
my gender. I never really planned to tell my brother before my mum & dad but a rare opportunity arose in that we
spent an evening together. We had a fun night, unusual for us as we are very different people. So, anyway, I was
feeling quite (drink induced no doubt) confident and we had been talking about some personal stuff affecting my
brother and we got around to how he treated me when we were children (he is 3 years older than me). He was pretty
cruel to me and his mocking often targeted my, shall I say, softer nature and sensitivity, so I brought up an incident
When I could only have been 6 or 7 and I was trying one of my mum’s bras from the washing line and
he caught me, he really teased me badly afterwards and I used to get crippled with embarrassment and react in an
aggressive manner or just cry, he really knew how to push my buttons. So I used this to bring up the subject on how
his piss taking was so close to the truth that it used to slaughter me inside every time he mocked my gender or
sexuality. He said he only did it to toughen me up and to make me more, I suppose, masculine. It was really
emotional bringing up all the hurt and the pain and frustration that he caused me and my own conflicting emotions
and feelings of isolation. He was quite shocked by how pained I was by my childhood and how his actions had
affected me so deeply, as I sat in the chair crying he came and hugged me something we had never ever done

20
before. He said that he wont reject me because I was TG and pledged his support no matter what direction I went
in and if that meant me being his sister then that’s the way it has to be. I confessed that I was worried that he may
have got violent and he did say that if he caught me dressed he may well have, again I think that being totally
upfront is the best way.
The experience with my brother gave me a huge boost and we talked about how best to tell our
parents. I knew my dad would never accept me, but if I could get my mum to understand then maybe she if may, if
not bring him around, at least make some sort of relationship possible. I thought it best to actually plan how and
what I was going to say. I must admit I really did not know the best way to tackle it I had been in psychotherapy
about my gender and my clinical psychologist said that when you tell anyone I should try to do so from a position
of strength, by which I mean express myself in a positive way and not to backtrack on what I was saying or hum
and har. So when I finally found the right time I felt confident that I could explain myself in a good way. I won’t go
into detail of what we said but I expressed my self in very simple terms that did not blind her with a load of junk
but was relevant to my own situation. And I broke it down into 3 simple statements. This pretty much how I
explained it.

1…You know I been unhappy for a long time and not matter what I tried or done I never been able to rid myself of
these feelings of wrongness. You have no idea how hard I tried to suppress this and avoid dealing with it, the one
attempt I did make with the physiologist I did not have the courage to accept the truth of what I felt and build from
that. You know I suffered from depression and this is because I tried not to deal with my feelings. I have isolated
myself from my friends and I am very unhappy the future like this fills me with dread.

2… If this is my life in point 1 I am really not sure how I can have a future because it’s seems to me that it’s an
empty future where I drift through life with out purpose and desperately trying to keep the lid of Pandora’s box
close and I am not sure if I want to live if that’s the way my life is heading. I am not saying I’m going to kill myself
but it’s a bleak future.

3... So faced with the reality of what I have said I have decided to face my demons and deal with everything I am
not prepared to keep running away. I am not saying that I am going to transition into a woman but I am in a process
that may lead to that and that’s something that we all need to deal with. Already I feel like a huge weight has been
taken of my soul and it just feels right I don’t get turned on by dressing as a woman, to me it’s an aid to achieving a
physical persona to the person I am inside.

I am afraid this made my mum cry, she was very upset and I had to try to be much braver and confident
than I really was and that’s pretty much how I have had to be since although this tact has been difficult it has helped
bring her around, if not to acceptance, but to a point where we can talk about it without tears and fears. As to my
dad, no comment is about all I can say, he refuses to speak about it. This is a little upsetting, but he has not rejected
me outright and treats me the same as he did before he knew so I should be grateful for that.
I must admit there has been some fun in coming out, it not all been difficult and emotionally draining. I
have a very good friend at work, she is very supportive, but one day not long after I started to dress as a female, I
came to work, but had a little bit of eyeliner still on my lower eye lid. I noticed it driving in and though no one
would know. WRONG! And it turned out that my friend was called into see the boss. I had been rather moody and
he was a little concerned at why and knowing we was friends he ask her why, but also mentioned the eyeliner to
her. He thought maybe I was a weekend Goth or something. I did not know this at the time off course but in a quite
moment not long after she asked me straight out ‘am I a Transvestite’. I said “no, why do you say that?” She said
‘then why was I wearing eyeliner?’ I was a bit taken aback I must be honest, because it was well over a week since
the eye liner incident. And she knows me quite well and kept pushing it by saying ‘I don’t mind, just be honest’ and
I just came out with everything. She was pretty amazing really and has been a huge help with her advice. She’s my
image consultant now and a great mate, she treats me as one off the girls. I don’t think you can ask for anymore
really can you?...........

21
APRIL
Can you believe it’s April already???? So it’s time to watch your backs,
FOOL!
backs, keep your
wits about you, and try to avoid being the chump who falls for the likes of these!!

Here’s some of my fav’s from years gone by …..

San Serriffe
In 1977 the British newspaper The Guardian published a special seven-page
supplement in honor of the tenth anniversary of San Serriffe, a small republic located
in the Indian Ocean consisting of several semi-colon-shaped islands. A series of
1 articles affectionately described the geography and culture of this obscure nation. Its
two main islands were named Upper Caisse and Lower Caisse. Its capital was
Bodoni, and its leader was General Pica. The Guardian's phones rang all day as
readers sought more information about the idyllic holiday spot. Few noticed that
everything about the island was named after printer's terminology. The success of
this hoax is widely credited with launching the enthusiasm for April Foolery that
then gripped the British tabloids in the following decades
The Left-Handed Whopper
In 1998 Burger King published a full page advertisement in USA Today announcing
the introduction of a new item to their menu: a "Left-Handed Whopper" specially

2 designed for the 32 million left-handed Americans. According to the advertisement,

the new whopper included the same ingredients as the original Whopper (lettuce,
tomato, hamburger patty, etc.), but all the condiments were rotated 180 degrees for
the benefit of their left-handed customers. The following day Burger King issued a
follow-up release revealing that although the Left-Handed Whopper was a hoax,
thousands of customers had gone into restaurants to request the new sandwich.
Simultaneously, according to the press release, "many others requested their own
'right handed' version."
The 26-Day Marathon
In 1981 the Daily Mail ran a story about an unfortunate Japanese long-distance
runner, Kimo Nakajimi, who had entered the London Marathon but, on account of a
3 translation error, thought that he had to run for 26 days, not 26 miles. The Daily Mail
reported that Nakajimi was now somewhere out on the roads of England, still
running, determined to finish the race. Supposedly various people had spotted him,
though they were unable to flag him down. The translation error was attributed to
Timothy Bryant, an import director, who said, "I translated the rules and sent them
off to him. But I have only been learning Japanese for two years, and I must have
made a mistake. He seems to be taking this marathon to be something like the very
long races they have over there."
22
 Guinness Mean Time
In 1998 Guinness issued a press release announcing that it had reached an agreement
with the Old Royal Observatory in Greenwich, England to be the official beer sponsor
of the Observatory's millennium celebration. According to this agreement, Greenwich

4 Mean Time would be renamed Guinness Mean Time until the end of 1999. In addition,
where the Observatory traditionally counted seconds in "pips," it would now count
them in "pint drips." The Financial Times, not realizing that the release was a joke,
declared that Guinness was setting a "brash tone for the millennium." When the
Financial Times learned that it had fallen for a joke, it printed a curt retraction, stating
that the news it had disclosed "was apparently intended as part of an April 1 spoof."

Planetary Alignment Decreases Gravity

In 1976 the British astronomer Patrick Moore announced on BBC Radio 2 that at 9:47
AM a once-in-a-lifetime astronomical event was going to occur that listeners could
experience in their very own homes. The planet Pluto would pass behind Jupiter,
temporarily causing a gravitational alignment that would counteract and lessen the
5 Earth's own gravity. Moore told his listeners that if they jumped in the air at the exact
moment that this planetary alignment occurred, they would experience a strange
floating sensation. When 9:47 AM arrived, BBC2 began to receive hundreds of phone
calls from listeners claiming to have felt the sensation. One woman even reported that
she and her eleven friends had risen from their chairs and floated around the room.
Dutch Elm Disease Infects Redheads
In 1973 BBC Radio broadcast an interview with an elderly academic, Dr. Clothier,
who discoursed on the government's efforts to stop the spread of Dutch Elm Disease.
Dr. Clothier described some startling discoveries that had been made about the tree
disease. For instance, he referred to the research of Dr. Emily Lang of the London

6 School of Pathological and Environmental Medicine. Dr. Lang had apparently found
that exposure to Dutch Elm Disease immunized people to the common cold.
Unfortunately, there was a side effect. Exposure to the disease also caused red hair to
turn yellow and eventually fall out. This was attributed to a similarity between the
blood count of redheads and the soil conditions in which affected trees grew.
Therefore, redheads were advised to stay away from forests for the foreseeable future.
Dr. Clothier was in reality the comedian Spike Milligan.
Hawaiian Tax Refund
In 1959, as Hawaii was being admitted into the Union as the 50th state, a Hawaiian
radio station announced that Congress had passed an amendment to the Statehood Bill
refunding all federal income taxes that the Pacific Islanders had paid during the
7 previous year. Thousands of people believed the announcement, and the backlash
when they realized that there was no refund coming their way was enormous. The
Honolulu Star-Bulletin, which had nothing to do with the hoax, took the opportunity to
self-righteously declare that it would never publish an April Fool's Day story again.
Daylight Savings Contest
In 1984 the Eldorado Daily Journal, based in Illinois, announced a contest to see who could
save the most daylight for daylight savings time. The rules of the contest were simple:
beginning with the first day of daylight savings time, contestants would be required to save
8 daylight. Whoever succeeded in saving the most daylight would win. Only pure daylight
would be allowed—no dawn or twilight light, though light from cloudy days would be
allowed. Moonlight was strictly forbidden. Light could be stored in any container. The
contest received a huge, nationwide response. The paper's editor was interviewed by
23
correspondents from CBS and NBC and was featured in papers throughout the country.
 Hong Kong Powdered Water
In 1982 the South China Morning Post announced that a solution to Hong Kong's
water shortage was at hand. Scientists, it said, had found a way to drain the clouds
surrounding the island's peak of their water by electrifying them via antennae. The
paper warned that this might have a negative impact on surrounding property values,
but the government had approved the project nevertheless. Furthermore, more clouds
could be attracted to the region by means of a weather satellite positioned over India.
9 And finally, as a back-up, packets of powdered water imported from China would be
distributed to all the residents of Hong Kong. A single pint of water added to this
powdered water would magically transform into ten pints of drinkable water. Hong
Kong's radio shows were flooded with calls all day from people eager to discuss
these solutions to the water shortage. Many of the calls were very supportive of the
plans, but one woman pointed out that the pumps needed to supply powdered water
would be too complicated and expensive.
Y2K CD Bug
In 1999 a Canadian radio station, in conjunction with Warner Music and Universal
Music Group, informed its listeners that the arrival of Y2K would render all CD
10 players unable to read music discs created before the year 2000. Luckily, the
deejay said, there was a solution. Hologram stickers were available that would
enable CD players to read the old-format discs. These stickers would be sold for
approximately $2 apiece. Furious listeners, outraged at the thought of having to pay
$2 for the stickers, immediately jammed the phones of both the radio station and
the record companies, demanding that the stickers be given away for free. They
continued to call even after the radio station revealed that the announcement was a
joke.

“ I once worked with a girl who ate her lunch in the office every day.
Sandwiches, salad,
salad, etc,
etc, plus a hard-
hard-boiled egg. The eggshell she broke every
day by cracking it on the desk. One day we changed eggs, leaving her one
that had
had not been cooked.
She thought her mother had made a mistake and phoned her sister,
thinking the sister was going to find the same. When she discovered her sister
of the incident she hit the roof!!!! “
had not been part of

Helen xx

24
THE LOWDOWN WITH LOWLA

Addicted
If you were to believe the old high school health class films, anyone that ever took a sip of
liquor or a puff off a reefer is now a homeless addict rummaging through garbage cans in the back
alley of some New York slum. Just sampling alcohol or marijuana was enough to send you down
the road to a vile, dead-end and tortured existence. These movies were produced by well
meaning, but hopelessly uptight people. The last 2 Presidents of the United States have proven
that casual use of recreational pharmaceuticals in early life may not necessarily hamper your
eventual career goals. So back in guidance class, although the threat of the odd doobie during
teenagehood was overemphasized, a much greater addictive threat, at least to the tg/cds in the
crowd, was completely ignored – evening gowns and cute shoes.

At the recent tg party I attended in Chicago we had been advised by the management to
use a separate bathroom (so as to not upset the ggs using the designated ladies room). This
special bathroom was labelled the “Brides Room”, which I thought had a nice ring to it. Answering
the call of nature, I went into the Bride’s Room and came face to face with a gorgeous young
female impersonator. She was in the middle of trying to do 2 things. One was to get her costume
on; the second was to not fall over. The poor thing was so inebriated that snapping the crotch on
her leotard had turned into a procedure whose complexity rivalled that of brain surgery. Suffice it
to say that her mumbling, slurred, stumbling opening number was not a weekend highlight. The
remarkable thing was that she escaped serious personal injury through the balance of her routine
despite heading back for her costume changes with a drink in either hand. This girl is clearly
addicted and needs professional help regarding her alcohol problem. What isn’t obvious to the
uninformed observer is that she has another addiction every bit as consuming. One could ask the
question “Which of her addictions is the most serious?”

Like most cds, I’ve been dressing or interested in dressing my whole life. Perhaps it’s a
chronological imperative, but the urge to dress and explore my feminine side has grown much
stronger over the past few years. I’ve heard this tendency echoed by other tgirls of my generation.
As mature tgs we sense time marching on and feel that we need to explore our partially
suppressed femininity before we are too old to do so. But escalating your feminine activities
carries risk. It is truly an activity than can take over, occupy your thoughts, and consume you. One
can try and explain away obsession and loss of perspective as a journey of self growth and
discovery. But to be clear, cross-dressing is addictive and once you’ve started mainlining spandex
and lace you find yourself needing more and more to maintain the high.

25
 When you talk to girls that have spent a week en femme at Southern Comfort they will
tell you it was a watershed moment in their lives. They all relay the same story about the
incredible euphoria they experienced. I can relate - on Monday and Tuesday of this last week I
had an amazing sense of well being and happiness. It didn’t matter that I was overwhelmed at
work. It didn’t matter that I returned to all of life’s not so little problems. I was basking in the
warmth and aftermath of a weekend as Lowla. By Wednesday, I was feeling more neutral. By
Thursday I was edgy and irritable, and by Friday I was frankly depressed. My girlfriends felt the
same way. The endorphins had worn off, I was out of pseudo estrogen, and chocolate just wasn’t
cutting it.

Given the intense emotional response to dressing and the female experience it is very
hard for cd/tgs to know where they want to go and how they want to proceed. I think it’s fair to say
that for many of us we sense something missing, a void, a vacuum, a need that remains unmet.
How to satisfy that need is critical in many respects. It will determine our own happiness; it will
influence our relationships with family, friends, children, wives and girlfriends. How are we to
satisfy this habit and remain balanced in the rest of our lives? Unfortunately, there is no blueprint
for success. Each of us must move bravely on into the fertile void, be honest with ourselves and
our loved ones, and do our best to prioritize our respective needs.

So if I end up rummaging in some back alley I only hope that I find myself looking
through Ivana Trump’s garbage can after she’s cleaned her closets. For anyone out there
considering sampling cross-dressing I would encourage you to do so at your own risk – just
remember not to inhale.

(Here are two photos of us indulging our addiction over the weekend. The first is of my
friend Sheri and I. The second is of yours truly. )

take care
Lowla

26
CENTRE--FOLD
CENTRE
A
D Age - 31
Married
A One child and one on the way

R Self employed in
Environmental consulting in
A oil and gas

B My earliest recollection of
Adara started before she even
E had a name. At five she was
trying out her mother’s lipsticks
T and other ‘pretty’ things to see
how they looked, to see how they
H felt. Always in secret though –
with tough brothers and a heavy
fisted father she was not going
to get caught doing something
‘unmanly’. By 12 I was
V buying my own lipsticks and
clothes. And occasionally I
E would get caught but somehow
managed to avoid a beating… at
A least most of the time. By 20,
Adara wanted more and more to

U be noticed so she eventually

eventually
made it out to the public eye…
27
 At 20, I had already well begun my addiction to
epinephrine – adrenaline. I have lived an
adventurous life; skydiving, hang gliding, scuba
diving, and mountaineering to name a few of my
hobbies - but those were just cover-
cover-up for my much
more important ones of collecting lingerie,
Victorian
Victorian lace up thigh high boots and corsets and
any other ultra fem wear to wear daily and often.
Which i used to in shame or guilt, now with pride
and confidence...

A V
Being self employed has meant having the freedom
to choose where I work and I have been fortunate
enough to live a multi-
multi-faceted life...
Drug and disease free, non-
non-smoking and leading a
very healthy
healthy lifestyle are paramount to my
existence. And i am lucky enough to be married to
a genetic beautiful woman who keeps me in shape
with Pilates and yoga and challenges me to be more
authentic. She is also supportive of my
transitioning - enough to encourage
encourage me to reach
out to other MtF/CD/admirers...

28
A V

The evolution of the whole person through gender duality is both rewarding
and necessary in the evolution of the world. Not everyone will recognize or
accept the union of the whole. Not everyone needs
needs to express the beauty that is
the celebration of both ying and yang. But there is a place for those who do.
And the time is now. And the place is here.
The liberation of self, in accepting self, and finally celebrating self, is what
life is really all about.
Don’t you owe it to yourself to discover this? Of course. You do.
Explore my dream…

Adarabethxx

29
H Well, they are the first to suffer in this cold weather, so here’s a few tips to
bring out the best from our pouty friends
B
E Tip #1: Store lipstick in the
fridge. It will last weeks longer

Tip #2: Save the last bits.

Tip #6: The older you are, the
'creamier' your lips should
look. Women over 50 should
avoid matte or a gloss and stick
E
A A
Down to the last bit of you with a creamy lipstick.
favourite lipstick? There's
plenty more at the bottom of Tip #7: Don't throw out a bad

&
your tube. Scrape out the last
bits with a cotton swap or
orange stick & mix it with
Vaseline or lip gloss in a
color lipstick. Instead, use
other colours to perfect your
own shade. You can also
colour in lips with a darker

L U
lipstick palette. liner before applying a lipstick
that's too bright.
Tip #3: Use liner on your lips
as a base. Want lipstick to last Tip #8: For 'plump' lips,
longer, than fill in your lips apply liner just outside your
with the liner first. If you're natural lipline. 'Nuff said.
using light lipstick, try a nude

T T
liner. Then slick your lipstick Tip #9: Keep lip gloss on
on top. longer with liner. Lip gloss is
infamous for wearing off fast,
Tip #4: Don't skip the liner. but if you fill in lips first with
Without the prerequisite liner, the liner, the gloss has
your lips will look "smudgier", something to stick to
softer & less defined.

H Y
Tip #5: Keep lipstick off your
teeth with this trick. This is a
trick I learned years ago from
my mom. After applying
lipstick, take your index finger
& pop it in your mouth, then
pull it out. The excess lipstick
will come off on your finger
rather than your teeth.
Tip #10: Heal -- don't throw
out -- a broken lipstick. If
your lipstick breaks off, simply
take off the broken portion
with a tissue, then slowly wave
a lit match under the broken
piece of lipstick. When it's
melted a bit, put it back on the
base, swivel it down and put it
in the fridge -- uncovered -- for
5 minutes.

30
H And here’s a few more “home-grown” remedies for beautiful lips

“ Instead of using lip gloss that doesn't last long enough, rub a thick layer
of petroleum jelly (e.g. Vaseline) onto your lips and around them. This is
sores.”
great for winter as well because it prevents chapping and cold sores .”
B
E “ Here's a secret my model sister shared with me. For healthy, kissable
looking lips simply do this: using a soft bristle toothbrush lightly brush
your lips. This helps rub off any dead skin or/and lipstick residue
(especially in corners of the mouth). Then apply a thin layer of Vaseline
your lips to moisturize.
Vaseline to
moisturize. Do this once a day at bedtime for wonderful, sexy
E
A
looking lips.”

“A good way to get nice soft lips is to add honey and sugar together (just
enough to cover your lips) and rub it on your lips the honey will allow for
softness and the sugar will act as a good exfoliator (lips need exfoliation
too). Wipe the honey and sugar off after about 5 min.”
A
L & U
T
AND THE SECRET TO WEARING RED LIPSTICK?

The secret lies in the rest of your face. The paler the skin, the bigger
the pop. And you’ll want to go light on the eyes and the blush,
otherwise you’ll risk looking like a clown. Here’s how to do it: Skip
the eyeliner and go only for mascara (black for brunettes, brown for
T
H
blondes & redheads), dust your face with powder and your cheeks

Y
with a soft blush. Always line your lips before applying colour

Make sure you pick the correct colour for your skin type. If your
complexion is pink, you'll look better in plum shades, while girls with
yellow tones are flattered by warmer reds that have a brown base

So, there you go, I hope you find a few helpful hints there, and if you have any
of your own, please drop me a line.

31
 BRAIN OF

NARCISSE

MARCH WINNER!!!!!
KIRSTY SCOTT
Beauty and Brains – Isn’t she just HATEFUL!!! Giggle, Well done sweetheart xxxxx

Pos NAME Possible Actual Possible TOTAL

score score total
1 Nicola James 93 87 131 117
2 Rachel Greene 93 88 131 114
3 Kirsty Darling 93 83 131 111
4 Kirsty Scott 93 73 131 104
5 Karen James 93 52 131 71
6 P J James 93 13 131 30
7 Abigail McChristie 93 131 26
8 Katherine Sloan 93 131 10
9 Lisa Gayle 93 131 9
10 93 131

Do “The Alphabet Song” and “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little star” have the same tune?
And more to the point, why did you just try singing them?? Giggle xxxx

32
 ACROSS

GOLDEN POND

Here in the Bush-leagues, things are a little calmer than the past few weeks. The sale
of US shipping ports to a company based in the United Arab Emirates has fallen
through. The debate over the sale created such a stir that the folks in Dubai withdrew
their offer. But you knew all this. You all watch the BBC, right? From my perspective,
how this ever got as far as debate is beyond me. But the folks in Washington D of C
don’t ask the opinions of transgendered girls in Albany. Hmmm, maybe things
would be better if they did....

More good news. The Vice President didn’t shoot any hunting partners this month,
The NFL collective bargaining agreement is safe for another four years and my
Giants have completely replaced their secondary. Best of all, the Formula One season
is back in full swing. On the other hand, my favourite Ferrari driver is still trailing
around behind that Spanish kid.

So what’s the buzz here in the wilds of Upstate New York? (Or as it’s pronounced in
Manhattan: Nuh Yawk).

Linda Rossi from Capital District Trans Gender Association (CDTGA) asked the
following:

I have received 2 or 3 inquiries from "admirers" recently, asking if they would be

welcome to our SGA Soiree's. I have told them that currently the answer is "No"; as
attendees have never weighed in on the subject. But that I wanted to post the question
to you all and get your feedback on the issue.”

A little background is in order here. The Schenectady Gender Alternative (SGA)

meets on the third Saturday of every month at a jazz club in Schenectady. We meet
in an upstairs private party room. What this means is that we really have no right to
say they cannot be there in the building. It’s an open club and as such must admit
patrons so long as they are well behaved. We can restrict their access to the party
room upstairs but that only keeps them downstairs.

33
Some of the girls are a bit timid about being in public in the first place and to have
admirers in the building might make them stay home. We don’t want girls
skipping opportunities to get out for fear that they will be hit on by some guy with
whom they don’t want to socialize. What to do?

Linda asked the following questions:

1) Have you attended any SGA meetings in the past? (Remember these are held at
Yours in Schenectady on the 3rd Saturday of every month)
2) If you have attended; approx how many times? If not; do you expect to in the near
future?
3) Do you think it's a good or bad idea to allow "admirers" to attend, in Joe's upstairs
area?
4) Would it be ok if they came and stayed downstairs in the main bar with Joe and
not be allows up? (Then people could meet downstairs if they choose to)
5) Please make any other comments you have on the subject.

She’s gotten about 20 responses so far. I don’t know the official results yet but I was
wondering what you all thought about it, so I proposed a new poll to Miss Mandy.
Look for it soon Should be very interesting. I was going to express my opinion on the
subject but I don’t want to sway anyone else’s thoughts. Does anyone actually read
my ramblings anyway? (YES!!!YES!!! Editor)
Editor

Our sisters to the north have been busy (since the sordid affair concerning proof of
gender to use the ladies room - see last month’s issue). At long last, The Bridge,
Glens Falls newest LGBT Community Centre, is now open beginning Tuesday the
28th of this month. Hours are 7PM to 9PM every Tuesday and is limited to referrals
and drop-ins at this time. Calls are always welcomed any evening after 7PM all
week! More to come next month as we continue to assess the needs of our community.
Glens Falls NY now has an official TG presence. The Grand Opening was attended
by the Mayor and several city officials and community leaders. Three cheers for
Andrea and the girls of Glens Falls

WE have this on the calendar too.

Gender-Variant People and their Families

A Professional Symposium
for Physicians, Nurses, Clergy, Social Workers and Other Helping
Professionals
Friday April 21, 2006 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.

34
Stormont-Vail Regional Health Centre
Pozez Education Centre
1505 SW 8th Avenue
Topeka, Kansas 66606
http://www.gendersymposium.org/

Any girls from Yurrup gonna be over here around that time?

There was a big Two Event Saturday extravaganza! Rhea hosted a multi activity
function at the Life Works Centre from 2 to 6:30 then we all headed to Yours for the
SGA get together.

Rhea's Cafe Kick-off -

For the usual $5 meeting fee (but guests/so's/partners were free for this day.) we got
1) A Swap Meet - a chance to recycle that old miniskirt and pick up some new
outfits.
2) Stephanie agreed to come and show and sell her line of custom and vintage
jewellery.
3) There was be a raffle for an electrolysis gift certificate or two (I don’t know who
won)
4) Flyers and info about other local groups and resources shared and displayed.
5) Light refreshments supplied
6) "Wigstock" the movie was shown in the afternoon.
7) Moderated discussion group around 4:30 or so.
8) A Mary Kay rep was on hand to do makeup consults for free.

And if that wasn’t enough for one day...Then it was off to YOURS for the SGA get
together.
1) Our very special guest - ZIADA the Bellydance Goddess - Performance and
lessons given! 2) Music was a bit more upbeat and danceable keeping with the
Ziada mood.
3) And we had a performance by TG folk singer TinaAll this plus food and the
usual socializing. A huge day for local T-girls! This girl was one tired cookie by 1
AM when I arrived home. And for the first time in a long time I couldn’t wait to get
my heels OFF! My feet hurt. But it was worth every wince. My feet will forget the
day on 4" heels but I won’t forget the fun we all had. Sure hope we do something like
that again.

35
I saw this on the Associated press line, March 01, 2006

‘ Transgender teacher gets OK from New Jersey school board ‘

To students at Eagleswood Elementary School in Eagleswood Township, N.J., she

used to be Mr. McBeth. Now, after undergoing a sex change, 71-year-old Lily
McBeth is ready to return to teaching as Miss McBeth.

Despite criticism from parents, the school board on Monday stood by its decision to
allow McBeth to resume working as a substitute teacher. After two hours of public
debate and a private meeting with McBeth and her lawyer, the board took no action
on calls by several parents to bar McBeth from returning to the school where she
taught for five years before becoming a woman.

"It was magnificent," McBeth said afterward. "You saw democracy in action."

McBeth, a retired sales executive who was married for 33 years and had three
children, underwent gender-reassignment surgery last year and reapplied for her job
under her new name.

On Monday, McBeth told the school board and the crowd that she loves teaching and
children and looks forward to returning to the classroom. "This is not something I
got into just as a whim," she said.

Several parents said children in the school, which consists of kindergarten through
sixth grade, were not old enough to understand the concept of changing one's
gender. "I, as a parent, am appalled to have this issue brought into my child's
psychology," Steve Bond said. Vincent Mustacchio predicted "chaos" at the school
when the students learn of
McBeth's surgery.

Young children will be confused by the conflicting appearance of McBeth, who has a
deep voice and masculine features but otherwise looks like a woman, other parents
said. "I will not allow you to put my kids in a Petri dish and hope it all turns out
fine," said Mark Schnepp, who had taken out an ad in a local newspaper urging
parents to turn out for the meeting.

Several people spoke in support of McBeth, including three transgender people, two
former students of McBeth's, and a handful of others, saying that the fact that she

36
is a good teacher was more important than whether she appears as a man or a woman
in class. "There's really nothing to fear because a person is transgender," said
Karina Mari, a mother of three school-age children who said she has transgender
relatives.

School board attorney Paul Carr said McBeth is a good teacher who received
favourable reviews during her tenure as a substitute. Earlier this month the board
voted 4-1 to accept her application to return to the classroom.

It's unclear how soon McBeth will resume teaching, Carr said. That depends on the
need for substitutes and the availability of certified teachers who get priority when a
spot opens up, he said.

Steven Goldstein, chairman of Garden State Equality, a gay rights advocacy

group supporting McBeth's bid to resume teaching, called the school board's action
historic. (AP)

Under the heading of “Oh God” and on the opposite end of the scale we have this. If
anyone has the extra time this article should be read. It doesn't offer anything, other
than to reveal the depths to which the RIGHT are already established regarding
Americas future.

http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/story/9178374/gods_senator

And you all thought European politics were screwed up.

I guess that about burns up my allotted space for the month There’s so much more to
write but I’m up against a deadline and Mandy is standing over me with a whip.
(You don’t suppose she likes that stuff do you?) See you all next month.

Lisa Gayle Harris

A G P

37
 BECKY’S
BEAUTY
SPOT

I don’t know about you lot but I’m sick off spending lots of money on skincare products.
So I decided to do a little research all in the name of tightness and beauty of course.
And wow it’s been totally amazing what everyday things not only are very good for the skin but
are actually used by manufactures In there own products.
The main focus of this little article is honey; it’s been used as an aid to beauty since time in
memorial. Cleopatra bathed in milk and honey and has been used by the nobility of most ancient
civilizations and rightly so. Honey contains many things that are beneficial not only to the skin
but in healing. Research is showing that honey is excellent for healing minor burns and is an anti
bacterial and may become an important weapon in combating drug resistant strains.
As a skin care product honey has the ability to attract and retain moister which is vital in
moisturising of skin also it is possible to create with honey Alpha Hydroxy acid or as it known in
the trade (AHA’s), AHA’s are an exfoliate which not only remove dead skin cells but stimulate
new health growth. It is also believed that honey is a mild anti oxidant and contains small but
none the less important vitamins and minerals.

As part of my research for this little piece I have been using honey for the last few
weeks as a facemask and I have been very impressed with the results. I suffer from psoriasis
and I do get a few red blotches and marks on my face these can look really angry and red in the
winter months and I have found that though they don’t look like healing they certainly look a lot
less angry and less dry which has made me happy. The other benefits has been the softening of
my skin and leaves my face feeling very refreshed I would not say I had a healthy glow but my
skin I would say looks more radiant after a few weeks use. So girls and boys make sure that
honey is part of your beauty regime and I am sure you wont regret it.
If there’s any tips or advice you would like to share with our readers please send an email to….
bex.beautyspot@yahoo.co.uk

Here is a small list of some recipes to make skincare products.

38
 BECKY’S
BEAUTY
SPOT

Starting with my favourite first:-

Honey and egg yoke facemask

2, table spoons honey
1, egg yoke
1, table spoon olive oil

Mix all ingredients in a bowl till you form a paste

Spread over your face and neck avoiding eyes
Leave on for 15 to 30 minutes and wash of using warm water

Honey and Milk facemask ( for Dry skin )

2 Tablespoons honey
2 teaspoons milk

Mix well and spread over your face and neck

Leave for 10 minutes and wash off with warm water

Honey and Olive oil Conditioner

1/2 cup honey
1/4 cup olive oil. (Use 2 tablespoons oil for normal to oily hair.)

Using a small amount at a time, work mixture through hair until coated. Cover hair with a
shower cap; leave on 30 minutes. Remove shower cap; shampoo well and rinse. Dry as normal.

Smoothing Skin Lotion

1 teaspoon honey
1 teaspoon vegetable oil
¼ teaspoon lemon
Rub into hands, elbows, heels and anywhere that feels dry. Leave on for 10 minutes. Rinse off
with water.

Honey Cleansing Scrub

1 tablespoon honey
2 tablespoons finely ground almonds
½ teaspoon lemon juice
Rub gently onto face. Rinse off with warm water.

39
“Tammi’s
Torment’s
QUIZ
OK Gang!! It’s QUIZ-TIME!!! Each month there will be a selection of fiendish questions, sent to
drive you potty. You will have till the 25th of each month to complete and return your answers. Once in
they will be totalled and we will have a League table of the BRAINIEST LIL BINT on the block!!!
So if you want your name in lights and be higher in the league than your football team…get solving!!!

Round one - Cut up.

Mandy in a fit of rage has cut these famous person up can u tell who they are

1) 2)

Round 2 - Not quite in the movies

1) Name the ghostly movie that was written with these actors in mind John
Candy, John Belushi, & Eddy Murphy

2) Hugh Jackman turned down the chance to play Franck Castle to go

shoot van helsing. What was the movie?

3) Harrison Ford shot a scene for which out of this world film as Elliot’s
principle but was cut as he was deemed too popular ?

40
 Round3 – Musically Challenged

1) Name which city the following artists played at for the live8 concerts (point for
each)

A) Pet shop boys

B) Mcfly
C) Faith hill
D) Alicia keys
E) Roxy music

2) Black Sabbath was originally going to be called ( 2 points)

Air
Fire
Water
Earth

3) Which of the following were found when Mrs Slim Shady cleared out his closet?
(Point for each)

A) Love letters he wrote to Dr. Dre while a member of N.W.A.

B) A "Frankie says Relax" t-shirt.
C) Strawberry Shortcake doll with miniature tea set.
D) The book" How to be an Angry White Rapper for Dummies"
E) A spiral notebook with the phrase “No matter what the cool heavy metal kids say I'm
not a douche bag" written over and over again.
F) A penis growth chart along with the Tommy Lee Penis Pump.
G) A pair of boxers with "Home of the Whopper Jr." on them
H) A memento box containing his mothers first crack pipe and a naked picture of Public
Enemy's Flavour Flav.
I) A pair of Fruit of the Loom "tighty whitey" underwear with a skid mark on them.
J) His Vanilla Ice mask that he wore trick or treating on Halloween 1989.

41
 Round 4 – General Knowledge

1) Give the FULL names of the characters in Scooby Doo

(Point for first – point for surname)

2) What are the MOST and LEAST used letters of the

alphabet? (Point for each)

3) A bat will always turn WHICH way, when leaving a

cave? (2 Points)

Round5 - Graphitized

Name the Sports Star (2 Points each)

A) B)

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Someone out there has either too much time on their hands, or is deadly at scrabble!!

DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER

DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT

GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS

MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA: When you rearrange the letters (With no letters left over and using
each letter only once): TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS

42
 BUNNY-
UNNY-GIRL
COMPETITION

Vote for #1 NATASHA

Vote for #2 RACHEL

Vote for #3 RAQUEL

Vote for #4 CIERRA

43
 A QUESTION OF SAFETY
The Subject of Transgender safety has come up numerous times over the course of time, and is one
that needs to be continuously reinforced. Here is how I had it vigorously reinforced for me.

I was dancing and partying in a club in Phoenix, having a wonderful time. When I got back to my
table, another girlfriend suggested a trip to the ladies room. Following doing my business, and in the
process of freshening my makeup, I noticed my cell phone missing. After much deliberation, and
searching in the club, my girlfriend suggested that I use her phone and call mine, to see if we could
hear it ringing anywhere in the club.

When I called, it rang several times, and finally a man answered. Stunned at first, I finally began to
talk with him, asking where he found my cell phone. “So this is your phone” he asked, and I
responded that it was. We talked for some time, and he sounded, and responded well, making me feel
he was a genuinely nice person. When I asked where he was, hoping he was still in the club, he said he
was just leaving, and was in his car in the parking lot. Relieved that I had a good chance of retrieving
it, I agreed to come out and get it.

My mistake was made right here. I went out alone. When I got to his car, he and two of his friends
were waiting for me in a dimly lit part of the parking lot. He gave me the phone, but insisted I reward
him. You can imagine what he wanted, not money, and his demeanour changed instantly.

Really quickly, I found myself slapped, punched, and bent over the hood of his car, held by two of his
friends, my skirt pushed up over my hips, my panties ripped off, and him about to have his way with
me. “This is what you sissy faggots deserve” he growled and began dropping his trousers.

At that moment two police officers appeared, and arrested the three of them. My girlfriend had
thought better of me going out to get my phone by myself. When she saw what was happening, she
called 911, and literally saved my A**

In the ensuing investigation it came to light that the men were from out of town, and didn’t realize
they were in a TG friendly venue. My mistake gave them the opportunity to show their macho and
frustration in not connecting with any Genetic Girls

So, Ladies….NEVER go anywhere in a club environment alone…ALWAYS have a cell phone

available, and keep track of you possessions, it could mean your life…..

Be Safe, and be happy.

Miki Ann James

Phoenix, Arizona

44
R
E AGORAPHOBIC GIRL

A Fearing criticism for the way that I feel,

I bottle everything inside.

D Fearing the rejection, I'm withholding my confession,

Clinging on to foolish pride,
If I trust my deeper instincts it would be a mistake,
To explain what’s on my mind.
E So I take comfort in the silence, my words form an alliance,
Remaining undefined.

R This girl is Agoraphobic, She is afraid to come outside.

Locked away inside of me, it’s safer if she hides.
The damage is prevented, and no-one else gets hurt.
S The secret's mine and it's mine alone - This Agoraphobic Girl.
(I suppose that would be the chorus)

In anticipation of the way you'll react,

I shore up my defence.
I can't offer any meaning, devoid of any reason,

T Nothing seems to make any sense.

So fearing your omittance from my life,
I conspire to never let you know.

H Thrown into confusion with no obvious conclusion,

I'll never let the truth be known.

I've tried to vanquish her existence, in spite of her persistence,

O And I convince myself for a while,
That this is what I wanted, to hold on to your love,
But in truth it's just a state of denial.
U She is always with me, wherever I go,
Waiting for the chance to slip through.
I wish that I could define the reason and give a simple explanation,
G For Me! as much as for you.

Kirsty Scott

H xxx xxx

T
S 45
R
E
A
D
E
R “
This article is a prime example of political correctness gone
mad again. How on earth can they say it took 2 years to come
up with what is essentially common sense. Police time would be
S far better spent actually out in public, showing a far greater
presence. Then all members of the public would probably feel a lot
safer when out socialising in an evening. They would then be
able to apprehend anyone trying to cause trouble far quicker.
The fact is all transexuals only want to be accepted as normal
members of society albeit in a gender different to the one they
T were born with.
with. There doesn’t need to be such a big song and
dance about it, MTF TS’s, when in role, use female toilets, FTM
TS’s use male toilets, You go into the toilet, do your business,
H wash your hands and check your appearance and then leave,
simple. It isn’t rocket
rocket science. The fact that Aurora LGBT Group

O was involved in the drawn out process makes us look ridiculous.

Transexuals get enough bad press as it is without this kind of
nonsense making it a lot worse. Did they not think of the

U damage
TS community educate they about
society were going to do? This
this medical isn’t helping
condition the
that seriously affects
all TS lives. It has left us wide open to bad press which the media will only be too
grateful to
to exploit. What they going to come up with next? How to wipe our bottoms?
G “
Nicola
H “ In my opinion this single article could have harmed what so many of us

T would like and that is for acceptance in the general society. From what I can gather
out of it ,the police don’t want us to use the men’s or the women’s toilets so where do
they want us to go.....the disabled toilet?

S 46
R I don’t know about you but I don’t classify this as a disability. I don’t
know about there but here it is very unusual to find a unisex toilet so id like this
booklet to tell me where I can go. This has only ever happened to me once in the
E many years of going out dressed where the management of the establishment I
was at asked us to use the disabled toilet and I can tell you I was highly insulted
as were the
the many genetic females that were with us. I’mI’m just glad that the
A authorities here in Australia haven’t done something like this here. I’ve
lucky as every contact I’v
I’ve been
been very
I’ve had with police while dressed has been a positive one
and id hate for something like this to tarnish that opinion I have of them here and
D that is they are generally accepting of us unless we are truly breaking the law. “

E Michelle

________________________________________________
R __________________________________________________

S Dictionary for Decoding Personal Ads:

40-ish ................... 49.

Adventurous .............. Slept with everyone.
Athletic ................. No breasts
T Average looking ..........
Beautiful ................
Moooo.
Pathological liar.

H Emotionally Secure .......

Feminist .................
Free spirit ..............
On medication.
Fat
Junkie
O Friendship first .........
New-Age ..................
Former slut.
Body hair in the wrong
places.
U Old-Fashioned ............
Open-minded ..............
No BJs.
Desperate
Outgoing ................. Loud and Embarrassing.
G Professional .............
Voluptuous ...............
Bitch
Very Fat
Hugh frame ............... Hugely Fat
H Wants soul mate .......... Stalker

T
S 47
 IT’S AGONY!!!!
All things "trans"!!

Have you ever thought about the prefix "Trans"? I mean every one of you considers themselves
"trans" something. That's what we are.

Transsexual - transitioning from being male to being female, or being female to being male.
Transgender - transitioning from identifying as male to female, or female to male.

And are transsexual's transgender? You bet!!

But, what about Non-ops? Well, that's OK. We're, perhaps, not as "pure", or "total", but we're
allowed. Then, we are transvestites? Yep. Whether you ever intend to transfer sex, you can
dress in "the other's" clothes, right? So, "the clothes make the man". <giggles>

So, they (you know the universal "they" that secret-leigh rule the earth), some time or other,
decided that transvestite, means cross dresser. They must have had a lot of vests back
then. But, hold on a moment, both genders wear vests!! If she puts on my vest, and I her's, what's
the difference. Its those ruffles, right? So, why not transruffledite? You know this language is
pretty frustrating sometimes.

So, this whole "trans" thing is rather confusing. Like "transport". Is that when a President of the
United States tries to sell the control of ports to another country? We don't apparent-leigh like that.

Or, "transfigure". I have a list of women whose figures I'd glad-leigh accept.

Or, "transspire". Now that is becoming a little religious for me. I can't think of any spires of any
churches that I might be interested in.

Or, "transmigrate". Is that when a bunch of us get together and move to another place.

Or, "transsubstantiate". Is that when you have to verify that someone is a trans-person? Exact-
leigh how do you do that? Lift their leg?

Or, "transact". Hmmm, that must be what Felicity Huffman did in Transamerica, huh?

And is "transcendental" the act of sending a Tgirl's dentures somewhere?

And "transfix". Is that SRS? Or, a transperson repairing things?

Ok, so I'm getting a little peripheral, here, but not done yet. I'm not a doctor, but I do test patience
sometimes.

How about "transcription"? A transperson writing? Is prescription, before you start writing?

"Transducer", a transpreson playing poker with a pair of duces? Never play strip poker in
drag!! Secrets can be revealed!!

48
Well, these are my ideas, but here is something that showed up in my email. Its been passed
around so much that the attribution is gone. I would glad-leigh attribute any or all of it if I knew
from whom it originated.

The English Language

Can you read these right the first time?

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass (the fish) was painted on the head of the bass drum

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in
France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take
English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly,
boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

49
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one
moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not
one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you
call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a
humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum
for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by
truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are
opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn
up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by
going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race,
which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when
the lights are out, they are invisible.
PS. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"
You lovers of the English language might enjoy this.

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and
that is "UP."

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in
the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak
UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?

We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the
leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At
other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work
UP an
appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed, en femme, is one thing but to be dressed UP is
special.

And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a
store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP,
look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page
and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the
many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP
with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes
out we say it is clearing UP. And remember, you get UP at "sun UP".

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.

When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so............ Time to shut UP.....!

Oh..one more thing:

What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night? U-P

I apologise if you've seen this last part (in red) before. It just showed "up" in my email, one day.
<giggles>
Leigh Smythe
50
 Ytá{|ÉÇ exä|xã
As if we need an excuse …..
10 Wearable Spring Fashion Trends
Dresses for Every Occasion

You already know dresses are key for special events and after-five, but this
season you'll want to turn to dresses for everything from work to weekend
wear.

Leading the dress pack is the shirt dress, an easy look for most offices and
universally flattering (the collar and button-front draw attention to your face,
the belted waist gives you shape, and the full skirt hides a heavy lower body).

Jersey knit dresses are another great look for spring and summer. The
beautiful drape of jersey allows dresses to caress your body without being
skin-tight. With jersey, you'll need to eliminate seams and panty lines because
bumps and lumps do show; try a one-piece body slimmer or seamless lingerie.

Shorts

Shorts rule for warm weather, and they even take on casual work places when
worn with matching jackets.

Longer-length shorts -- a.k.a. Bermudas, walking shorts, skimmers -- look

best in a slim cut (beware cuffs: they add weight). Anything too full and knee-
length will add lots of heft around the hips, where most women can least
afford it.

Make sure you don't ruin the casual-dress vibe of shorts with a shoe that's too
dainty or dressy: a chunky platform, ballerina flat or simple thong sandal
works better than a stiletto.

51
Crochet & Lace
What's more sweetly romantic than a touch of crochet, lace or eyelet?

You don't have to go head-to-toe lace to get the look for yourself. Add a
cardigan sweater in crochet over a delicate dress or pair a lace-trimmed white
blouse with jeans. Mixing crochet and lace with more tailored pieces keep the
look from being too sugary.

Lace is sexiest in neutrals -- white, ivory, black -- and tends to look cheap in
colours. And remember that the sex appeal of peek-a-boo fabrics is lost if you
show too much (like the picture). Wear a camisole to keep covered up.
Tiers & Ruffles
What would the girly girl do without her tiers and ruffles? Both are extra-
feminine and do wonders to soften your look (great for dates, weddings, etc.)

Ruffles look best when strategically placed: stand-up ruffles around the
neckline to accent the face, a vertical ruffled placket to make you look taller
and slimmer or tiny layers of ruffles.

The tiered skirt or dress is a pretty way to add volume to the lower half of
your silhouette without being too puffy. Look for fabrics that have a floaty
feeling to keep the look light and airy.
Bows & Scarves
Be a super flirt this spring by choosing an oversized bow or a scarf tied into a
soft bow.

Bows are popping up at the waist, the bust and the back in contrasting or
monochromatic colours.

A large bow is essentially the same as sticking a sign on yourself that says
Look at me, so make sure you've chosen bow placement to highlight your
figure's high points (i.e. you wouldn't want to see a giant bow on a Pamela
Anderson-sized bustline).

Colour: The Neutrals

Nude, natural colours ruled the runway for spring. The softly muted palette is
a great way to show off pretty details and tailoring.

Don't be tempted to brighten up neutrals with pops of bright colour: if you

need to lighten the look add white or just choose varying shades of nude.

Keep accessories light to echo the sensual look: natural wood and straw are
two ideas.

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Colour: Pure White
White is a perennial favourite for warm weather, especially when paired with
navy or black.

While you may already own white jeans, shirts or shorts, look for newer all-
white pieces like dresses or skirts.

Warm leather tones for bags, shoes and belts give white a grounded look; try
a touch of metallic with it, too (but just a touch -- metallic’s are starting to
overstay their welcome.)

Colour: Blues & Coral

The sea-themed colours continue with beautiful blues and coral.

The great thing about blue is how wearable and flattering the hue is; blue also
mixes easily with white, khaki and other basics that you already own.

Novelty Handbags

Handbags compliment the easy, feminine shape of clothes this season with
big, squishy shapes, natural materials, quilting, denim and bold prints.

Details include big, bold gold chains and buckles, studs and patent leather.

Long Necklaces & Tassels

As silhouettes begin to move in a longer, leaner direction, necklaces follow

suit with mid-torso lengths, layers and tassels.

Everything from layers of beads to chunky gold chains look right this
season.

The longer necklaces are a newer approach to after-five dressing where

conventional wisdom paired a choker-length necklace with a strapless dress.

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 QUIZ
ANSWERS For Issue 4 March 2006

A) TELEVISION
1 - Next Generation, Voyager, Deep Space nine, Enterprise
2 - Chef, Actor, Advertising Managing Director, Lecturer/Palaeontologist,
Masseuse, Fashion buyer/designer.
3 - Kenny, Cartman, Stan & Kyle.
4 - Desperate Housewives.
5 - Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

B) SPORT
1 – USA
2 – Palermo
3 – Curtis Strange
4 – FIFA World Cup Final
5 – Jimmy Braddock

C) MUSIC
1 – Gorillaz
2 – Evanescence – Bring me to life
3 – 2006 Inductees into the Hall of Fame
4 – The words of the verses start with the letters F.E.A.R
5 – Enya

D) QUOTES
1 – George S. Patton
2 – Earnest Rutherford
3 – John McKay
4 – Terry Pratchett
5 – Frank Zappa

E) FLAGS
1 – Aruba
2 – Qatar
3 – Mongolia
4 – Sri Lanka

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 BORN TO SHOP
We all love to shop, but as we all know , from personal
experience, some are…er…friendlier than others. Here’s a few
of the better ones, as recommended by you.

This is my own personal recommendation. The girls the Notting Hill branch
were superb. They couldn’t be friendlier, more welcoming, and professional
too. They have a fantastic range of wigs of all lengths , colours and prices , and
I can not recommend this branch of stores enough
Open till 6, by appointment – latest 5 o’clock
http://www.trendco.co.uk/default.aspx

1) The Casket store: http://www.casketfurniture.com/caskets_coffins.php

A unique store offering casket shaped furniture for the gothic’s

2) The Baroness: Ok rubber and latex fetish store I have seen better and more
but the craftsman-ship looks good and styles are their own
http://www.baroness.com/RubberClothes.htm

3) JT's Stockroom offers a wide range of fetish things from bondage beds to
fetish toys, not a gigantic selection but enough to satisfy the novice and
beginner.
http://www.stockroom.com/search/search.aspx?i=20&search=furniture

4) Lydia’s offers a ok selection of transgender and cross-dressing items again

not a wide selection but a ok one for the beginner and part time.
http://lydiastv.com/osb/showitem.cfm/Category/12

5)Corset Connection: Offers a very wide selection for all types of corsets
everything from waist training to under-bust and to men to woman training
corsets, and for those who never have laced their own corsets they offer a
online training film for corset lacing A+.
http://www.corsetconnection.com/Images/Vintage%20Glam/v1117.jpg

6) Xtrax, I love this store humungus selection for the naughty little Goth Girls
and boys a wide wide selection for everything A+.
http://www.x-tra-x.de/english/bilder/heads-os/angebot-1.jpg

7) Extreme Restraint is a awesome store I cant wait to order from them they
have everything and anything from sex machines to the simplest anal plug.
http://www.extremerestraints.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/ec715%20lg.
jpg

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 Born to SHOP
“ Hi Mandy, I have a review for you, Wigsrus ltd in Southport.
Recently been there for a new style they are great. Hugs Julie Hi
Ladies, After asking around for some advice on wigs I plucked up the
courage to go and try a new style and I decided to have it fitted. I took
the advise of an Angel and looked up www.wigsrusltd.com at
Southport. This meant going out en femme for the first time and
having a stranger see me as Julie. I made an appointment with Jennie
and ventured out into the world as Julie. Jennie is a fantastic
understanding lady; she puts you at ease straight away. All
appointments are one to one and you can try as many styles on as you
like. Jennie will give you advise on styles and colour. After you have
chosen your new hair, Jennie will do the final styling and trim if
required. The service was excellent and Jennie was wonderful, highly
recommended. I felt so good and confident With my new style I had a
walk around Southport, then decided to drive over to the Trafford
centre and had a walk around the shops not bad for my first day out.“
Hugs Julie

“ www.frillys.co.uk is a friendly dressing service in Droylsden

a town about 4miles from the centre and gay village in Manchester.
The owner is called Julie and she now offers self catering
accommodation above her shop.
HOTELS- I use Travelodge and the special offers of £10 & £26 a night
per room are great value. I have never had any problems at these hotels.
The only problem I have had at an hotel was at a gay hotel in Torquay
where I got a really frosty welcome to say the least.
MAKEUP- I don't use Dermablend because it is expensive and
difficult to apply so I use a Boots No17 cover stick or a Rimmel cover
stick both are on sale at about £2.50. “
Raquel

Hi Mandy!
I order make-up from http://www.blushedcosmetics.co.uk/ .
They are very reliable and discreet with their deliveries even to
Holland. And you know the all in price straight away, no need to email
asking for price of postage. And they have a 50p and GBP1.00 corner!

Kirsty

Contact us on: Tel: +44 1376 322209 or Mobile: +44 7887 723239
Email your general enquiries to: custsupport@EpilationServices.com
Email your website enquiries to: webmistress@EpilationServices.com

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ADVERT Born to SHOP
In this lovely country of ours there is a place that is oft forgotten. A
place where the temperatures are warmer, where palm trees grow in
some of the streets but, sadly where it has been a desert for those of us
who dress. That place is Plymouth in Devon.
But now there is a place, a wonderful place, a place where girls can
go without any fear of anyone casting them those ‘sideways looks’ that
we get sometimes. Somewhere that they can find clothes to die for.
That place is the Painted Lady.
The shop was started three years ago as a ladies clothes shop, with
some new and some second hand items in it. But then for whatever
reason Lyn, the lady who owns the place changed some of the clientele.
Or maybe the clientele changed the place for her without it being
realised. She had no problems with having TV’s and CD’s as
customers and that was the change. The word soon got around and
before long tv’s were talking about The Painted Lady. Lyn’s business
soon began to pick up and now she has skirts, blouses, dresses of all
types and designs, even wedding dresses. There is some underwear
in the shop as well although it isn’t a lingerie shop per se. But there are
also wigs and shoes (the larger one’s for tv’s). Everything is at
wonderful prices, well within the price range of most girls. But, if
someone can’t afford something then Lyn has a ‘put by’ system and
also a ‘Saver Club’ something akin to a Xmas Club where someone
can put money by until they have enough to buy that long wanted item.
What else is there???? Mail Order, is something new that she is going
to hopefully get into. There is also a storage facility for those who have
difficulty keeping their precious things at home and a mail drop
system, where girls can have mail posted to the shop for collection.
The lovely lady has also, with the great work done by her husband,
converted their garage into a meeting room for girls. The room, which
has a dvd, vcr, television, computer (net connected) plus coffee making
facilities, is a lovely comfy room with a few soft seats and a settee, so
that we can meet up and chat, do make up etc. The whole idea being to
enhance our existence a little. All of this is at an hourly rental.
This review doesn’t really cover it properly, but should anyone be
interested in more they can go to www.paintedlady.co.uk which is the
shops website. The site is still in it’s infancy stage at the moment. But
eventually we’re hoping to be able to take photo’s of some of the local
girls wearing some of the items that are on sale in the shop.
I have even created a yahoo group for local girls
http://uk.groups.yahoo.com/group/paintedladyfriends/. If anyone
wants to know any more then drop Lyn a line, contact address on
the web site for the shop or you can always drop me a line at
angelatv@myway.com
If you’re local, then please do drop in and see Lyn and if any of
the girls are there say hello.
Hugs to all
Angela ADVERT
57
 “ And now,
The end is near …..”
Another month, come and gone , so quick I nearly didn’t have time to bitch
on URNA! Where does the time go? Springs here already, hope your
enjoying it…..what?.....NO? …..what spring? Did you miss it? You
remember …..that lil burst of warmth as though you were standing next to
a low wattage light bulb…..remember now? Yup …that was it! Roll on
summer!!! Giggle. So, how did March treat you? Well I hope, to say mine
was hectic is like saying that Tornado Alley can get
a tad windy . As some of you know, my wife and I
are hoping to adopt a 9 month old baby girl. As per
usual, these things take FOREVER!!! But it is all
coming to a head, and the final decision will
be announced on the 5th , so please (those of
you who know the meaning of the word!!)
keep everything crossed for us. Hehehe
Also , March was special for
me, as it gave me the
opportunity to meet the
lovely Adarabeth in
person, she is as lovely
in the flesh as she looks
in the Centre-fold, such
a shame that it was for
such a short time, but
next time we will have to
plan a lil better.
How embarrassing
was it for me to get
us lost in my own
Capital City!!!!
Well, I told you I was
scatty!!!

58
“ And now,
The end is near …..
So, I hope you all have a fantastic April, please
remember to keep your articles coming in, because we
are getting bigger and better than any rivals, our
readership is growing , as is our reputation for being a
damned good read, and its all down to you!!
Also to add to our growing reputation, as of June
we will be expanding and Narcisse will be featured on,
not only this yahoo group, but a rapidly rising TG
website called tgirlspotlight. So what you write, what
you enter and your opinion will be seen by a much
bigger audience – No pressure guys and girls!!!!
So please show your support, and lets make
Narcisse something to be truly proud of xxxxxx
http://www.tgirlspotlight.com/crossdressing-main
http://www.tgirlspotlight.com/crossdress-mandy-976-0

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