Académique Documents
Professionnel Documents
Culture Documents
#4 Responsibility FinancialProsperity
Belonging
ConcernforEnvironment
High Priority
Thesevaluesareanintegralpartofyourlifebecausetheyareimportantandyouaremakingsuretheyare
beingexpressed.Thewayyouactonthemisgenerallyasourceofsatisfactioninyourlife,unlessyouhave
toomanyvaluesinthiscategory.Ifthisisthecase,youmayneedtoworkonprioritizingyourvaluesbecause
manylifestylesdonotpermitpeopletosatisfylargenumbersofvalues.Becausetheimportanceandactions
ofthesevaluesarealigned,itusuallyreflectsacombinationofgoodlifemanagementonyourpartbecause
youaremakingtimetoexpressthesevalues,andtheenvironmentisprovidingopportunitiesforyouto
expressthem.
Asyoulookforward,clarifychangesthatmaybeonthehorizonandhowtheymayimpactthesevalues.
Thesemayincludechangesinyourenvironmentaswellasinternalchangesthatmaybeshiftingwhatis
importanttoyou.Thesevaluesarealsovulnerabletodriftingintoaneedwheretheybecometoointenseand
youexperiencemorestressthansatisfaction.ItisimportanttopayattentiontothesectiononOptimizing
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ValuesExpressionforeffectivemanagementoftheseimportantvalues.
Peoplewhoholdthisbeliefseekinnerharmonyandsalvation,maydreamofaworldofpeaceandbeauty,arehonest,andare
obedienttotheirspiritualbeliefs.Behavioralmanifestationsofthisvaluearereligiousactivitiessuchasgoingtochurch,
synagogue,temple,ormosque,worshippingormeditating,andvoicingbeliefs.Somepeoplewhodonotsubscribetoanyof
themajorreligionsoftheworldmayalsohaveahighlyprioritizedSpiritualityvalue.Thesepeoplemayfeelthattheyare
connectedtonatureorthecosmosinspiritualwaysandmayworshipthroughmeditation,trekstoplaceswithnaturalbeauty,
orbydevelopingconnectionswithotherhumanbeings.
Spiritualitydoesnotnecessarilyconflictwithothervalues.Conflictwithothersislikelyiftheirspiritualbeliefsaredevaluedorif
actionscontrarytothosebeliefsoccur.Conflictmayalsooccurifthedemandsofotherliferolesinterferewithactingonthe
Spiritualityvalue.
Peoplewhoholdthisvaluearelikelytobelieveinequality,seethemselvesashelpful,honest,friendly,andforgiving,maystrive
forinnertranquilityandworldpeace,andmayhavelittleconcernfortheaccumulationofwealth.However,somepeoplewho
holdthisvaluealsovalueFinancialProsperity.Rolesinwhichtheycanheal,teach,help,mentor,orotherwiseadvancethe
welfareofothersarethemostsatisfyingtopeopleholdingthisvalue.Thisvaluecanfacilitatepersonalandprofessional
relationshipsbecauseofsensitivitytoothers.However,agreatdealofinterpersonalfrustrationmayoccurwithotherswhoact
inanuncaringorselfishmanner.Thisvaluecanbeasourceofstressifonefeelsunabletohelpothersorifhelpisrejected.
Over-attentiontothisvaluecanresultinburnout,feelingoverlyresponsiblefortheproblemsofothers,andalossofequityin
relationships.
ConcernforOthersmaybecomplementarywithBelonging,butmayconflictwithIndependenceifoveremphasized.Similarly,
peoplewithhighlyprioritizedPrivacyandConcernforOthersvaluesmayexperienceconflictbecauseonevaluepullsthem
towardsolitaryactivitieswhiletheotherpushesthemtowardinteractionwithpeople.Conflictmayoccurifindividualswhohave
ahighlyprioritizedConcernforOthersvaluefindthemselvesinroleswithpeoplewhoplacematerialrewards(Financial
Prosperity)aheadofthewelfareofpeople.
Peoplewhoholdthisvaluetendtolikeclean,healthyenvironments,enjoyexcitingactivities,andarecommittedtotheirhealth
andwell-being.Theymayseethisvalueasapowerfulwaytomanagethestressintheirlives.Over-attentiontothisvaluecan
resultinbeingoverlycriticaloftheirappearanceorleveloffitness,andcanresultinanunhealthyformofcopingifnot
managedappropriately.Stressmaybefeltwhenthedemandsofothersrestrictthetimedevotedtobeingphysicallyactive.
StressmayalsobeexperiencedwhenpeoplewhovalueHealth&Activityseeothersengageinunhealthyactivities.Healthand
Activitycanfacilitatetheattainmentofothervaluesanddoesnotnecessarilyconflictwithothervaluesunlessitis
overemphasized.
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YOU RANKED THIS #4
RESPONSIBILITY (15)
It is important to be dependable and trustworthy.
Being reliable
Being trustworthy
Meeting my obligations
Peoplewhoholdthisvaluemayperceivethemselvesasbeingresponsible,honest,helpful,logical,self-controlled,and
trustworthy.Theyareviewedbyothersasreliableandareseenasthedependablepersonforimportanttasks.Being
responsibleisveryfulfillingifthereisalsoperceivedequityandfairnessintheircommitmentoftimeandenergy.Longperiods
ofperceivedinequityorunfairnesscanresultinburnout.Accountabilityisimportantandcanresultinholdingotherstohigh
standards.Excusesfromotherscanbefrustrating.Becausebeingtrustworthyisimportant,trustiscriticalandbrokentrustcan
befeltdeeply.
StressoccurswhenpeoplewhovalueResponsibilitybecometooother-orientedatthesacrificeofself-careandmaintenance
(responsibilitytooneself).Stressisalsoexperiencedwhenroleoverloadoccurstothepointthatitprecludesorreducesthe
opportunitytoactinadependablefashion.ApersonwhoprizesbothCreativityandResponsibilitymayhaveaconflictbetween
thedesiretoinnovateandthemotivetobereliable.
Over-Attention
Whydoweactonvaluesmorefrequentlythanweprefer?
1Itmaybethattheenvironmentisdemandingustoactonthesevalues.Attimes,thisincongruenceis
acceptableandwecanmanagethestresswell.Butongoingperiodsofactingonvaluesthatareless
importantcancausestrainandleadtoburnoutorillness.Lookforopportunitiesthatmayallowyoutoadjust
youractionstoactlessonthesevalues.ThearticleonStress&EmotionalManagementinStep5maybe
helpfulinmanagingsituationswheretheenvironmentisforcingthistypeofbehavior.
2Thesevaluesmayhavebeenofhighimportanceinthepastbutarestartingtoshiftforyou.Theymay
beshiftingtowardlessimportanceinyourlifebutyouractionsarestilloncruisecontrol.Byfocusingyour
attentiononothervaluesthataregrowinginimportancecanhelpalignthevaluesinthiscategorywitha
frequencyofexpressionthatismorecongruentwithimportance.Thetimingofthesechangesisanimportant
considerationandevenifyourenvironmentdoesntcurrentlyallowformuchchange,developingaplanfor
thefuturecanbeahelpfulwaytocopewithcurrentstress.
3Theremaybeavalueinthiscategorythathasbeentooimportantandhasfelttoointense,causing
morestressthanfulfillment.Atsomelevel,weknowthatwereactingonthisvaluetoomuch.Butits
emotionallydifficulttobackoff.Thisisanexampleofwhenavaluehasshiftedtowardaneedstateandis
outofperspective.Thereasonitcausessomuchstressisthatweareover-expressingthisvalueatthecost
ofunder-attendingtootherimportantvalues.Bycourageouslyfocusingonexpressingothervaluesand
internallychallengingthemyththatonevaluesufficientlydefinesyoucanhelpputthisvalueinabetter
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perspective.Thisisadifficultshiftbecausethereareusuallypowerfullifeexperiencesthathaveshapedthis
valueintoaneed.Conscientiousattentiontoamorebalancedexpressionofvaluesandadditionalsupport
mayfosterahealthierperspective.
HUMILITY (15)
It is important to be humble and modest about my accomplishments.
Downplaying compliments or praise
Being quiet about my successes
Avoiding credit for my accomplishments
Peoplewhoholdthisvaluearemodestandmaybeself-effacing.Theytendtobeuncomfortablewhentheiraccomplishments
arehighlightedandmayattempttopointtotheaccomplishmentofotherstodeflectattentionfromthemselves.Also,theyare
likelytobeobedient,polite,loyal,andself-controlled.
HumilitymayconflictwithAchievement,particularlyiftheresultisindividualachievementthatdrawsattentiontotheperson.
StressislikelyifthepersonwhoholdsahighlyprioritizedHumilityvalueisplacedinapositionofhavingtopromoteherorhis
accomplishments
Under-Attention
Valuesinthiscategoryoftenelicitfeelingsofguiltandfrustration.Commonself-statementscaninclude,IfI
onlyhadmoretime.Ifonlyotherthingswouldntgetintheway,IfonlyIhadmorewillpower,etc.These
valuesoftenreflectpersonalgoalsthatwebelievewouldimproveourlifebutareverydifficulttoestablisha
consistentrhythmofbehaviororcanoftenconflictwithothervaluesorliferoles.Theymayalsoreflectvalues
thataregrowinginimportancebutyouhaventdevelopedahabitofconsistentlyactingonthemyet.No
matterthereason,thiscategoryreflectsvaluesthathavesomekindofchallengeassociatedwiththem.The
challengescanbeexternalintermsofconflictingactivitiesorlimitedtimeforexpressionortheymaybe
internalobstaclessuchasfearorguilt.
Forvaluesinthiscategory,itisrecommendedtochipawayatcreatingmoretimetoexpressthesevalues.
Thisprocesswillclarifyhowmuchthesevaluesreflectpreferencesorsomethingimportantenoughtofight
for.Weallhavepreferencesthatareaboutbeingmoreskilledatsomethingorbeingmorefitorwishingto
spendmoretimewithcertainpeople...butatwhatcost?Valuesinthiscategoryusuallyrepresentsome
kindofpersonalcostand,therefore,dontgetexpressedasmuchasyouwouldwant.
Itishelpfultoreflectfromtimetotimeonthesevaluesandaskyourselfiftheyareelevatingtoalevelof
importancethatyouarewillingtodevotetheenergytomanagethecostsassociatedwiththeirexpression.If
theanswerisnotyet,thencompassionatelyshelvethemaspreferencesfornowinthefaiththatyouwill
returntothematsomepoint.Iftheanswerisyes,thendevelopaplanofexpressionthatwillincreasethis
value,aplanofreadinesstoprepareyouforthechallengesassociatedwithexpressingthisvaluewhile
reducingexpressionofotherstomakeroomforthisone,andaplanofsupportsothatotherscanhelpyou
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throughthistransition.Itisimportanttohonorthedifficultyofthisworkandincorporatetimesofcelebration
andrestoration.ThearticlesinStep5onOptimalSelf-Leadership,StressandEmotionalManagement,
andManagingLifeTransitionsmaybehelpfulwiththisprocess.
ACHIEVEMENT (15)
It is important to challenge myself and to work hard to improve.
Challenging myself to achieve
Improving my performance
Working hard to do better
Peoplewhoholdthisvaluemayviewthemselvesasambitiousandcapable,andtheymayenjoyactivitiesthatrequiretaking
risks.Thisvaluecanserveasasourceofmotivationtoimproveanddoyourbest.Satisfactionofthisvaluemaycomeinmany
waysincludingtheaccumulationofknowledge,helpingothers,performingphysicalfeats,settingchallengingpersonalgoals
andworkingtoachievethem,workingtoimproveperformance,puttingforthextraefforttoaccomplishagoal,andthrough
successinbusiness.
PeoplewhovalueAchievementexperiencestresswhentheyareunabletoactontheirachievement-orientedgoals,whenthey
feelunchallenged,orwhentheybecometoofocusedonresultsoroutcomeatthesacrificeofsatisfactionabouttheir
performanceoreffort.BelongingmayconflictwithAchievementwhenacceptancebyapeergroupisdependentupon
maintainingrelativelylowlevelsofperformance.Conflictmayoccurbetweenpersonswhohaveahighlyprioritized
AchievementvalueandpeoplewhoacttolimittheiraccomplishmentsordonotsharetheirAchievementvalue.Conflictcan
alsooccurwhenthedemandsofoneormoreotherrolesprecludethepursuitofcherished,achievement-orientedgoals.
Peoplewhoholdthisvaluemayperceivethemselvestobelogical,intelligent,analytical,critical,curious,andprecise.They
mayperceivethemselvestohaveanalyticabilityandengageinscientificoranalyticalactivities.Theymayenjoylearningabout
scienceortechnology,workingwithcomputersorothertechnicalequipment,orsimplytalkingaboutscienceortechnology.
Stressoccursforthesepeoplewhentheyhavetofunctioninnon-orderly,non-analyticalways.ObjectiveAnalysistypicallydoes
notconflictwithothervalues.However,stressmayoccurifapersonwhoprizesObjectiveAnalysisisforcedintorolesthat
requireleadershipandpersuasiveactivities.
CREATIVITY (11)
It is important to have new ideas, create new things or be creatively expressive.
Coming up with new ideas
Being creative
Discovering new things or ideas
Peoplewhoholdthisvaluearelikelytoperceivethemselvesasimaginative,intelligent,expressive,capable,andbroad-
minded.Theyarealsolikelytobeconcernedaboutbeautyintheworld,althoughthismaynotberestrictedtonature.
Creativitycancomplementmanyothervaluessinceitfacilitateslookingatthingsinnewanddifferentways.Stresscanoccur
whenCreativityisoveremphasizedattheexpenseoforderlinessthatmaybenecessaryforthepropermanagementoftheir
livesandrelationships.Theyarelikelytoexperiencestresswhentheirabilitytousetheirimaginationtosolveproblemsis
restricted(e.g.iftheyworkinaroutine,repetitivejob).
ConflictmayoccurwhenpeoplehaveahighlyprioritizedCreativityvalueaswellasahighlyprioritizedResponsibilityvalue.
Dependability,whichisthehallmarkofapersonwithaResponsibilityvalue,maymeanbeingorderlyandpredictable,
responsesthatmaynotbehighlycompatiblewithcreativeexpression.Conflictisalsolikelytoresultifthepersonwhoprizes
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Creativityisexpectedbyotherstofollowaroutine.
Peoplewhoholdthisvaluemayperceivethemselvestobeambitious,capable,intelligent,andlogical.Theystriveto
accumulatewealthandliveacomfortablelife.Thisvaluecancomplementorfacilitatetheattainmentofotherimportantvalues,
suchasIndependence.StressoccursforpeoplewhoholdFinancialProsperityasahighlyprioritizedvaluewhentheyare
unabletoaccumulatewealthataratethattheydeemappropriate,orwhenevertheyexperiencelossofwealth.Stresscanbe
feltwhenthereisperceivedinequityintheamountoffinancialreturnonereceivesfortheamountofenergyexpended.
FinancialProsperitydoesnotnecessarilyconflictwithothervaluesunlessitisoveremphasized.Over-attentiontothisvalue
mayresultinplacingtoomuchimportanceonmaterialthingsatthesacrificeofrelationships,aswellasspiritual,emotional,
andphysicalwell-being.
BELONGING (6)
It is important to be accepted by others and to feel included.
Being liked by others
Being accepted by others
Feeling as though I belong
Connectednessandinclusioninworkandsocialgroupsarevalued.Inclusioncanbethebasisforpositiveself-evaluation,
andacceptancemaybesoughtinavarietyofwaysincludingbeinghelpful,polite,and/orloyal.
Stresscanresultwhenothervaluesarecompromisedforthesakeofharmonyorhavingotherslikeyou.Beingassertiveor
dealingwithconfrontationcanalsobeasourceofstress.Transitionstonewenvironmentscanbeharduntilasenseof
belongingisfelt.Independence,PrivacyandAchievementmayconflictwithBelongingtothedegreetheyinterferewithfeeling
connectedtoothers.Conflictmayoccurifthereislittleacceptanceorrecognitiongivenwithinarole.Conflictmayalsooccurif
otherrolesinterferewiththetimenecessarytodevelopmeaningfulrelationships.
Protectingthenaturalbeautyoftheenvironmentisofutmostimportantforpeoplewhohighlyprioritizethisvalue.Theymay
alsoholdotheraltruisticbeliefssuchasequalityandworldpeace.Peoplewhoholdthisvaluetypicallyactonitbyengagingin
goodenvironmentalpractices,readingabouttheenvironment,andengaginginactivitiessuchasfundraisersfororganizations
thatadvocateforenvironmentalimprovement.
Peopleholdingthisvalueexperiencestresswhentheyperceivethatthenaturalbeautyoftheenvironmentisbeing
permanentlydamaged,andwhentheyarenotadvancingtheirgoalofimprovingtheenvironment.Conflictislikelybetween
peopleholdingthisvalueandpeoplewhoareeitherapatheticabouttheenvironmentorwhodeliberatelyengageinactsthat
harmordetractfromthenaturalbeautyoftheenvironment.Conflictmayalsooccurifpeoplewhohavedeep-seatedconcerns
abouttheenvironmentbecomeengagedinroles(e.g.workorleisure)thatprecludeorrestrictthemfromactingonthisvalue.
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Medium/Low Priority
These values are of medium to low importance and I act on them occasionally.
Generallyspeaking,thesevaluesarenotasourceofstressforyoubecausetheoccasionalexpressionis
congruentwiththemediumtolowlevelofimportancetheyhavetoyou.Maintainingthesamelevelof
expressionisrecommendedforthevaluesinthiscategory,sobecautiousofopportunitiesthatmayleadto
increasedexpression.However,duringlifetransitionsitmaybehelpfultoreflectonthesevaluestoseeif
theyareshiftinginimportancetoyou.Itisalsorecommendedtounderstandhowyourviewofthesevalues
comparestopeoplearoundyou.Itmaybestressfultofeelaloneifothersgivehighimportancetothese
values.Gainingasenseofempathyforthosewhodeemthesevaluesasimportantandcommunicatingto
themwhyothervaluesareimportanttoyoucanallowfordiversitytobenefitrelationshipsandgroups.
INDEPENDENCE (15)
It is important to have a sense of autonomy with my decisions and actions.
Being independent
Giving my opinion
Having control over my time
Peoplewiththisvaluestriveforpersonalfreedomandautonomousactionofspeechandmovement.Theymayperceive
themselvestobeambitious,capable,pleasureseeking,andmayliketoberegardedbyothersasindependent.Peoplewho
valueIndependencemayaccepttemporarypositionsofrestrictedautonomybutitwillbeimportantforthemtoseeaclear
futureopportunityforincreasedautonomy.Itisalsoimportanttofeelasenseofequityinthattheyarereceivingafairrewardfor
whattheyarecontributing.Stressoccursforpeopleholdingthisvaluewhentheiractionsarelimitedinsomefashion.When
thisvalueisoveremphasized,otherpeoplearedisregardedinthedecision-makingprocessand/ortheindividualoverreacts
emotionallytoattempts,realorimagined,atrestrictingtheiractivities.
IndependencemayconflictwithInterdependenceandBelongingbecausebothofthesevaluesrequirefairlyhighdegreesof
conformityforsatisfaction.ConflictmayoccurwhenpeoplewhovalueIndependenceareinvolvedwithpeoplewhostrongly
valueBelongingand/orInterdependence.
INTERDEPENDENCE (15)
It is important to follow the expectations of my family, social group, team or organization.
Accepting my place in my family or group
Respecting the traditions of my family or group
Making decisions with my family or group in mind
Familyorgroupsecurityisimportanttopeoplewhoholdthisvalue.Theyarelikelytoperceivethemselvestobehelpful,
honest,loving,loyal,obedient,polite,andself-controlled.Behavioralexpressionsofthisvalueincludeconcernforfamilyor
workgroup,puttingtheneedsofthefamilyorgroupfirst,andadherencetofamilyorgrouptraditions.Stressoccurswhen
peoplewhoholdthisvaluebecometotallyboundbytraditionandareunabletoadapttochangesthatoccur.
InterdependencemayconflictwithIndependence.Interdependencerequiresconformitytotheexpectationsofotherswhile
Independencedictatesthatoneactonhisorhervolition.PeoplewhovaluebothInterdependenceandIndependencemay
stronglyconsidertheopinionsofothersbutchoosetodowhattheyfeelisrightforthemselvesinthelongrun.
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PRIVACY (15)
It is important to have time alone.
Having time to myself
Having quiet time to think
Having a private place to go
Peoplewhoholdthisvalueseekpersonalfreedom.Behavioralmanifestationsofthisvalueincludereading,takinglongdrives
orwalks,listeningtomusic,andothersolitaryactivities.Peoplewhoholdthisvaluearenotlikelytoseethemselvesas
entrepreneurial.StressoccursforpeoplewhovaluePrivacywhentheyareforced,becauseofroledemands,tospend
extensiveamountsoftimewithpeopleattheexpenseoftimealone.PrivacyiscompatiblewithIndependencebutmayconflict
withInterdependence.
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Your Values Profile
Values & Life Roles
Work/Academics
Achievement(15)
ConcernforOthers(15)
Health&Activity(15)
Independence(15)
Privacy(15)
Responsibility(15)
ObjectiveAnalysis(14)
Creativity(11)
FinancialProsperity(11)
Relationships
Achievement(15)
ConcernforOthers(15)
Humility(15)
Independence(15)
Interdependence(15)
Privacy(15)
Responsibility(15)
Spirituality(15)
FinancialProsperity(11)
Belonging(6)
Leisure/CommunityActivities
ConcernforOthers(15)
Other
LimitedorNoExpression
ConcernforEnvironment(3)
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We express our values through our life roles . Since it is rare that one life
role satisfies all of our values, we often devote time and energy to
several roles. From your results, reflect on the following:
1 Identify the values that show 2 Identify the values that 3 Identify any values you want
up in more than one role. are expressed in only to act on more frequently.
one role.
Forexample,itmaybeimportantto Whatrole(s)willbethebestformof
expressBelonginginyourwork, Forinstance,yourleisurerole expressionofthatvalue?Howwill
leisureandrelationshipsroles. maybetheonlytimeyou anincreaseintimetowardthat
Theseusuallyreflectvaluesthat expressyourHealth&Activity valueaffectyourtimeandenergyin
arecentraltoyouridentityand value.Itisessentialthatyou otherroles?
requiremultipleformsofexpression allowenoughtimeforthatrole
inordertobefulfilled. sinceitistheonlytimethat
valuecanbeexpressed.
4 Use these results to gain a better understanding of how stress is manifested in your life.
Therearetwoformsofrole-relatedstress,inter-rolestressandintra-rolestress.Inter-rolestressisthestressyoufeelbetween
roleswhenthetimeandenergyyouspendinoneroleisinterferingwiththetimeyoucandevotetootherimportantroleswhere
othervaluesareexpressed.Intra-rolestressisthestressyoufeelwithinarolewhenthevaluesyouwantfulfilledinacertain
rolearenotbeingrewarded.Thestrategiesdiscussedinthesupplementon"Stress&EmotionalManagement"inStep5can
helpyoumanagetheseformsofstress.
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Your Values Profile
Strategies for Optimal Expression of Values
Howyouexpressandactonyourvaluesisasimportantasunderstandingthem.Providedbeloware5strategiesforoptimal
Howyouexpressandactonyourvaluesisasimportantasunderstandingthem.Providedbeloware5strategiesforoptimal
valuesexpression.Theyaredesignedtohelpyourvaluesserveasanauthenticsourceofmotivationandfulfillment.
valuesexpression.Theyaredesignedtohelpyourvaluesserveasanauthenticsourceofmotivationandfulfillment.
Oneofthecornerstonesofhealthyself-esteemisintegrity,behavingcongruentlywiththevaluesthatareimportanttoyou.Peoplewith
highself-esteemroutinelymonitorhowwelltheirbehavioralignswithwhat'simportanttothemanddevelopactionstepstobringbehavior
andvaluesclosertogether.InSteps1-3,youclarifiedyourcurrentvaluesandmadeadjustmentsforthenearfuture.Nowyouneedto
developspecificactionstepsorgoalsfortheseadjustments.Keepthemrealisticandtotallywithinyourcontrol.
Whatspecificactionswouldprovethatyouarebehavingaccordingtoyourvalues?Forexample,ifyoudecidedyouwantedtoincrease
timeandenergyinyourSpiritualityvalue,youmaychoosetocommitaspecificamountoftimeeachdayformeditation,prayer,reflection
oranaturewalk.Yourvalues-basedgoalsshouldbelessaboutoutcomes,whichyoucan'tcontrol,andmoreaboutactionsthatyoucan
completelycontrol.
Youshouldhaveonlyafewactionsteps.Besensitivetowhenyoufeelthatyouractionstepsareexceedingyouravailabletimeand
energy,orwhatyourenvironmentwillallow.Assumeyouarealready100percentcommitted,soifyouaregoingtodevotemoreenergyto
onevalue,youmustreducetimeandenergyforanothervalue.
Clarifyingandtryingtofollowtheseactionstepsincreasesoursenseofintegrityand,inturn,increasesoursenseofself-esteemand
resilience.
BalanceWITHINValues.Tofeelasenseoffulfillment,youmustdevotetimeandenergytoimportantvalues-uptoapoint.Yourvalues
arelikeadouble-edgedsword.Theyareaprimarydeterminantoflifesatisfaction,buttheyarealsoamajorsourceofstress.Ifyouover-
expressavalue,youwillfeelthecostorstressassociatedwithitbecauseitisbecomingapsychologicalneed-a"haveto,"orperhapsa
compulsion-attheexpenseofotherimportantvalues.
Oneofthemostimportantfactorsinfosteringsuccess(asdefinedbyfulfillment,productivity,andresilience)istocommittoabalanced
expressionofeachvalue.Inthefirstsectionofthisreport,youfamiliarizedyourselfwiththedescriptionofeachvalueandlearnedhow
yourvaluescancausebothfulfillmentandstress.Usethisinformationtolearnwhenexpressingyourimportantvaluesmovesyoufrom
fulfillmenttostress.Acommitmenttobalancedexpressionofyourvaluesresultsinmorefulfillment.
ManagingtheInteractionBETWEENValues.Reviewtheprimaryvaluesthatfrequentlyguideyourbehavior.Youwillnoticethatsomeof
thosevaluesarecomplementary-theexpressionofonehelpstheexpressionofanother.Weusuallyexperiencethisinteractionaseither
amplifiedfulfillmentorsynergybecauseoneactioncanfulfillmorethanonevalue.Forexample,thesensitivesupportyoumayprovidea
friendinneedcanfulfillbothConcernforOthersandBelonging.
However,youmaynoticethatthereareconflictingvaluesamongyourtopvalues,suchasIndependenceandBelonging,orIndependence
andInterdependence.Youwillfeelthisconflictintheformofstressortension.Decisionmakingcanbestressfulwhenoneopportunity
fulfillsonevaluewhileanotheropportunityfulfillstheconflictingvalue.Whenyoumakeadecisionthatfulfillsonevaluebutconflictswith
another,you'llfeelacertainambivalenceorperceived"wrongness"associatedwithsacrificinganimportantvalue.Notacceptingor
managingthisambivalencecanleadtochronicindecision.
Toeffectivelymanageconflictingvalues,youmustrespectwhythesevaluesareimportanttoyouandstrivetoexpresstheminamanner
thatcorrespondswiththeirrankings.Yourdecisionsandactionsshouldreflectbalancedexpressioninsteadofanall-or-nothing
approach.Thisbalanceisanalogoustoseeingtimeandenergyasweightsthatyoucarefullyaddtobothsidesofascaletokeepthemin
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balance,asopposedtoaseesawapproach,inwhichyoualternatebetweencompleteexpressionofonevalueatthesacrificeofthe
other.Forexample,ifBelongingandIndependencearetwoimportantvalues,findseparateactivitiesthatwillcurrentlyfulfillbothvalues.
Don'tdevoteexcessivetimetoBelongingatthesacrificeofIndependence,thenshiftwhenyoufeeltheurgentneedtocompletelyreverse
theexpression.Balancedexpressionhelpsyougainanappreciationandemotionaltoleranceforthehealthytensionthatexistsbetween
yourconflictingvalues,ratherthanperceivingthistensionasaproblem.Thiscannotbedonepassively,butwithactivemanagement,you
canbecomeveryskilledatmaintainingafulfillingbalancebetweenconflictingvalues.
Tomakethebestdecisions,committogivingyourselfa24-hourpausebeforeyousay"yes"toanyopportunity.Whenopportunitiesarise
thattouchourvalues,wearevulnerabletosaying"yes"toallofthemwithoutmuchregardforourcurrenttimecommitments.Wealso
tendtounderestimatetheadditionaltimerequiredfornewopportunities.
Asopportunitiespresentthemselves,taketimetoreflectonwhetheryourdecisionismorealignedwithyouradjustedvaluesrankingsor
yourcurrentrankings.Trytotakeadvantageofopportunitiesthatcomeyourwaytoshiftyourbehaviortobemorecongruentwithyour
adjustedrankings.
Considerthebalancewithinandbetweenyourvalues.Willtakingonthisnewopportunitycauseyoutolosebalancewithinavalueand
resultinover-expressionofonevalueattheexpenseofotherimportantvalues?Willyoulosebalancebetweenconflictingvalues?
Committoopportunitiesthatarecongruentwithyourmostimportantvaluesbutalsocommittomanagingthemwitharealisticappraisal
ofyouravailabletimeandenergy.Thebasisforgooddecisionmakingisvaluescongruencyandenergymanagement,notwhetheryour
decisionresultedinagoodoutcome.Ifagoodoutcomeresultsfromyourvalues-baseddecisions,it'stobeappreciated,butnottobe
usedasthecriterionforevaluatingyourdecision.
Thefollowingisafive-stepprocessthatincorporateswhatyouhavelearnedaboutyourvaluesintoadailyplan.Pleaserefertothe
supplement"OptimalSelf-Leadership"foradescriptionastowhythisplanishelpful.
Step1:Values.Atthebeginningofeachday,askyourself,"Whatisthemostrightwayformetodevotemytimeandenergytoday?"The
word"right"isintendedtotapintothevaluesyouhaveclarified,butinthecontextofaday.Theanswerononedaymaybeaboutbalance,
doingsomethinginallthethingsthatareimportanttoyou.Onedayitmaybemoresingularandfocusedonanimportantproject.On
anotherdayitmaybeaboutrest.Whateveritis,usetheconceptof"rightness"totapintoyourvalues.Thisprocessdoesn'thavetobe
longandstructured.Itcanbeshortandintuitive,whileyouaregettingreadyforyourday.
Step2:Acceptanceand"Can."Usually,youwillreacttotheanswerfromStep1withuncertaintyastowhetheryoucangetitalldone.If
youfeelatwingeofdoubt,you'reprobablyright.Reducetheactivitiesuntilyoufeelasenseofconfidenceandamindsetof"Icandothis."
Step3:ExpressionandEngagement.Onceyouhaveyour"cando"listofvalues-basedbehaviors,youfocusonexpressingthose
activitiestherestoftheday.Thedayisaboutbeingfullyengagedintheexpressionofyourtalentandenergy,withcourageand
commitment.
Step4:Appreciation.Atsomepointneartheendoftheday,spendacoupleofminutesappreciatingwhatyoudidandwhy.Thismay
soundalittletouchy-feelyforsome.However,thereisaverypracticalreasonfordoingthis.Attheendoftheday,wemostnaturallythinkof
thethingsthatdidn'tgetdoneandwhatweneedtodotomorrowtomakeupforit.Thistriggersanoverlyevaluative,orjudging,mindset
andnegativelyaffectsourmotivationandstresslevel.Takingacoupleofminutestoappreciatewhatyoudidandwhycountersthis
negativeprocess.Wealreadyknowwhatdidn'tgetdone.Inaddition,thisstepallowsustoseehowunexpectedeventsprovided
opportunitiesforvalues-congruentbehavior.Forinstance,wemayhaveplannedtodevotetimetoanimportantprojectbutendedup
devotingtimetoafriendwhounexpectedlycalledincrisis.Itisimportanttoappreciatethevaluesthatarebehindthatbehavior.Thisisnot
intendedtobeaself-lovefest,butamomenttotaketimetoappreciatethecourageyouexhibitedbycommittingtovalues-basedbehavior.
MartinLutherKing,Jr.oftenspokeoftheheroismassociatedwithlivingcongruentlywithourvaluesonadailybasis.Thisstepisintended
tobeaformofself-managementandself-encouragementforourdifficultefforts.
Step5:Analysis.Afterspendingtimeappreciatingwhatyoudidduringtheday,askyourself"WhatisonethingIcanlearnfromtodaythat
willhelpmetomorrow?"Thishelpsuscontinuetogrowandimprove.Thisprocessisanalysis-whichisnotthesameasevaluation.
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Analysisisanauthenticwaytolearnandself-improveevaluationistoopersonal-weprocessitasgood-badorsuccess-failure.For
example,wemaylookbackatthedayandrealizethatwefellshortofaparticulargoal.Evaluatingouractionsmaycauseustoconclude
thatwewerelazy(orsomeotherverynegative,personallabel).Thisprocessonlyservestonegativelyaffectourmotivationandmakeus
vulnerabletorepeatingthesamebehavior.Thinkinganalytically,wecanlookatthesituation,trytounderstandthefactorsthatinfluenced
ourbehavior(e.g.,wetookontoomuchtoday,weletfeargetintheway,somethingunanticipatedhappenedthatwasmoreimportant),
andtrytolearnfromtheexperience.Afteryouhaveappreciatedandlearnedfromyourday,youcanmentallyflushthestressoftheday
withaclearconscience,helpingyousleepbetterandfullyrestoringyourbodyandmind.
Fromthisvaluesclarificationprocess,wehopethatyouhavediscoveredanimportantpointaboutstress.Muchofthestresswefeelis
connectedatsomeleveltothethingswebelieveareimportant.Wecan'tfeelanxiousaboutthingsthatareunimportanttous.Ifweview
stressasaproblemthatneedstoberemovedfromourlives,thenwemayalsoberemovingareasthatarecentraltoourfulfillment.For
example,youcouldgetyourfeelingshurtlessifyoucaredless,butifyouvalueBelongingorConcernforOthers,youwillfeelthelossof
notexpressingthatvalue.
Wearenaturallyinclinedtowardphysicalcomfort.Thiscanalsoleadustoplaceprimaryimportanceonemotionalcomfort.Iftheprimary
guidetoyourlifeisemotionalcomfort,youwillmakedecisionsandacttoreduceanyuncomfortableemotions,suchasfear,boredom,
hurt,oranxiety.Butthismayalsocomeatacost:lessmeaningandfulfillment.Ifyouplaceprimaryimportanceonmeaningbycommitting
toactonyourvalues,thecostmaybeperiodicstressanddiscomfortassociatedwithhavingtomanagethosevalues.Weallhavetimes
whenweneedabreakfromstressanddiscomfort,butthere'sadistinctionbetweenprimaryversussecondaryfocus.Fulfillment,
productivity,andresilienceareoptimizedwhencommitmenttoourvaluesisprimaryandemotionalcomfortissecondary.Thisconceptis
furtherexploredinthesupplement"OptimalSelf-Leadership."
Dedicatingyourselftoavalues-centeredlifeprovidestheopportunityforexcellenceandfulfillment.Butitalsomeansyouarededicating
yourselftosomethingthatishard.It'snotcomplicated,justhard.That'swhypositivechangerequirescourageandcommitment.Youhave
tocrossthatemotionalhurdleofacceptingthefightofdoingsomethinghard.Fortunately,ifyouacceptthefightandseektointentionally
devoteyourtimeandenergytoyourvalues,youremotionalreactiontothefightdecreasesandfeelslesspainful.
Whilepositivechangeisultimatelyourownresponsibility,supportcanhelpusfromfeelingaloneinthefight.Growthcomesfroma
balanceofchallengeandsupport.Helpfulsupportforpositivechangetendstocomeintheformofpeople,faithandstructure.The
supportoffriends,lovedones,and/orprofessionalscanprovideencouragementandperspective.Youmayfindthatprayer,meditation,or
reflectionconsistentwithyourspiritualbeliefscanhelpyoumaintainfaithandhope.Youmayalsofindthatacertainleveloforganization
orstructuretoyourdayhelpscreatearhythmandroutinewhenyouaretryingtointernalizechange.Whatevercombinationofsupport
feelsmosthelpful,itisimportanttodevelopthatsupportbeforeyoubeginyourpersonaldevelopmentprogram.
Tocontinuelearningvalues-basedstrategiesforspecificlifeissues,proceedtoStepFive.
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