Managing Yourself and Others

Session Four
Margaret Andrews & Dayna Catropa
Harvard University, Division of Continuing Education

February 11, 2017

 Agenda

6-Word Memoir

Managing Yourself / MBTI

Managing Yourself / Mindfulness

Lunch (~12:15)

Influence / Lisa Benton Case

Influence Discussion

Managing Others / Johannes Van Den Bosch Case

6-Word Memoir
Brief Exercise
 Preferences

Take out a pen or pencil and write your name.

Now switch hands and do the same.

 The Four Scales

E Where do you get energy? I

Extravert Introvert

S How do you take in information? N

Sensing Intuition

T How do you make decisions? F

Thinking Feeling

J How do you deal with the outside world? P

Judging Perceiving
 Extraversion and Introversion

Where do you get energy?

E I
Extravert Introvert

Characteristics of Extraverts: Characteristics of Introverts:

Attuned to outer world of people and external
events
Like being the center of attention
Prefer to communicate by talking
Communicate with enthusiasm
Learn best through doing or discussing
Tend to speak first, reflect later
Sociable and expressive
Drawn to their inner world of ideas and experience
Avoid being the center of attention
Prefer to communicate by writing
Keep enthusiasm to themselves
Learn best by reflection, mental practice
Want to reflect before acting or speaking
Private and contained
 E-I Exercise

Design the perfect day at the beach.

 Behavioral Cues: Extraverts and Introverts
Proportion of Extraverts/Introvertsa

Talk it Out Think it Through

Use rapid speech Pause in answering or giving information
Appear to think aloud Reflect silently
Interrupt Use shorter sentences, do not run on
Speak with a loud voice Speak with a quiet voice

a Source: Center for Applications of Psychological Type

Communicating With Extraverts and Introverts

E I
Extravert Introvert

Extraverts are social and active Introverts are private and serious

Let them talk, think out loud
Include variety, if possible
Give feedback
Show interest, emotion, involvement
Respond quickly
Allow time to reflect dont expect immediate
answers
Give material to read before meeting
Give more substantive information, less small
talk
Respect privacy
Respect physical space
 Sensing and Intuition

How do you take in information?

S N
Sensing Intuition

Characteristics of Sensors: Characteristics of Intuitives:

Take in information through five senses
Focus on what is real and concrete
Value practical applications, common sense
Want information step-by-step
Trust experience, what can be measured or
documented
Oriented to the present
Take in information through sixth sense
Focus on possibilities
Value innovation and imaginative insight
Jump around, leap in anywhere
Trust inspiration, gut feel
Oriented to the future
 S-N Exercise

Describe/write about this.

 Behavioral Cues: Sensors and Intuitives
Proportion of Sensors/Intuitivesa
Proportion of Sensors/Intuitivesa

Intuitives
30%

Sensors
70%

Specifies Big Picture

Ask for step-by-step information or instruction Ask for current and long-range implications
Use precise descriptions Talk in general terms
Are interested in practical applications Are interested in possibilities

a Source: Center for Applications of Psychological Type

 Communicating With Sensors and Intuitives

S N
Sensing Intuition

Sensors think about the here and now Intuitives think about possibilities

Focus on the situation as it is Focus on possibilities

Present details first, conclusions last
Present information step-by-step
Be specific
Give examples
Stress practical applications
Present conclusions first, details last
Give context
Let them draw patterns and relationships
Use analogies and metaphors
Talk about the big picture
 Thinking and Feeling

How do you make decisions?

T F
Thinking Feeling

Characteristics of Thinkers: Characteristics of Feelers:

Use cause-and-effect reasoning
Focus on content
Resolve problems through logic
Look for outcome that makes sense
Strive for impersonal, objective truth
Reasonable
Guided by personal values
Focus on affect
Resolve problems by weighing values
Look for outcome that feels right
Strive for harmony and individual validation
Compassionate
T-F Exercise

Problem
You have been a little league coach for three years and
you finally made the finals. Your team is going to the
championship game, but you only have room on the
bus and the funds to take 11 of 13 players to the game.

What do you do -- be specific?

How do you choose be specific?

 Behavioral Cues: Thinkers and Feelers
Proportion of Thinkers/Feelersa

Men
Thinkers: ~61%
Feelers: ~39%
Thinkers
45%
Feelers Women
55% Thinkers: ~30%
Feelers: ~70%

Logical Implications Impact on People

Appears to be testing you or your
knowledge
Weighs the objective evidence
Is not impressed with others decisions
Follows a pattern of checking logic: if
this, then that
Strives for harmony in the interaction
May talk about what they value
Asks how others have acted/resolved the
situation
Cares whether others have been taken
into account

a Source: Center for Applications of Psychological Type

 Communicating With Thinkers and Feelers

T F
Thinker Feeler

Thinkers are guided by cause-and-effect Feelers are guided by personal values

reasoning

Appeal to fairness Appeal to values

Deal with facts, logic, structure Deal with impact on others
Be organized, systematic, logical Speak personally
Dont repeat yourself Maintain eye contact
Dont ask how they feel about it Be polite, friendly, considerate
 Judging and Perceiving

How do you deal with the outside world?

J P
Judging Perceiving

Characteristics of Judgers: Characteristics of Perceivers:

Systematic, methodical Spontaneous, open-ended, flexible
Plan Adapt
Like closure to have things decided Like things loose and open to change
Avoid last-minute stress Feel energized by last-minute pressures
J-P Exercise
 Behavioral Cues: Judgers and Perceivers
Proportion of Judgers/Perceiversa

Perceivers
43%
Judgers
57%

Joy of Closure Joy of Processing

Consistently on time or early for May be late for appointments or forget the
appointments time during appointments
Impatient with overly long descriptions or Seems to want space to make own
procedures decisions
May decide prematurely Generally wont decide until the last
moment
Uses past tense: looked, compared, Uses present tense: looking, comparing,
evaluated evaluating

a Source: Center for Applications of Psychological Type

 Communicating With Judgers and Perceivers

J P
Judger Perceiver

Judgers like to have things decided Perceivers like to keep things open

Provide a structure Dont force decisions

Set clear plan Be ready for questions
Respect deadlines Allow for spontaneity and change in plans
Come to conclusion; dont leave things open and Give them choices, options
unresolved
 Discovering Your Type

Everyone uses each preference to Myers Briggs is only helpful if you

some degree
use it correctly
MBTI number scores indicate
clarity of preference not skills, Know your strengths, weaknesses,
abilities or degree of use and blind spots
You decide your type not the
You are different from most others
MBTI
No good or bad type Learn to leverage relationships

Type doesnt explain everything All stereotypes are bad

were much too complex
 Characteristics Frequently Associated With Each Type
Sensing Types
ISTJ
Serious, quiet, earn success by
concentration and thoroughness.
Practical, orderly, matter-of-fact, logical,
realistic, and dependable. See to it that
everything is well organized. Take
responsibility. Make up their own minds as
to what should be accomplished and
work toward it steadily, regardless of
Introverts
protests or distractions.
ISTP
Cool onlookers - quiet, reserved,
observing and analyzing life with
detached curiosity and unexpected
flashes of original humor. Usually interested
in cause and effect, how and why
mechanical things work, and in organizing
facts using logical principles.
ESTP
Good at on-the-spot problem solving. Do
not worry, enjoy whatever comes along.
Tend to like mechanical things and sports,
with friends on the side. Adaptable,
tolerant, generally conservative in values.
Dislike long explanations. Are best with
Extraverts
real things that can be worked, handled,
taken apart, or put together.
ESTJ
Practical, realistic, matter-of-fact, with a
natural head for business or mechanics.
Not interested in subjects they see no use
for, but can apply themselves when
necessary. Like to organize and run
activities. May make good administrators,
especially if they remember to consider
others feelings and points of view.
Source: Introduction to Type, Isabel Briggs Myers
ISFJ
Quiet, friendly, responsible, and
conscientious. Work devotedly to meet
their obligations. Lend stability to any
project or group. Thorough, painstaking,
accurate. Their interests are usually not
technical. Can be patient with necessary
details. Loyal, considerate, perceptive,
concerned with how other people feel.
ISFP
Retiring, quietly friendly, sensitive, kind,
modest about their abilities. Shun
disagreements, do not force their opinions
or values on others. Usually do not care to
lead but are often loyal followers. Often
relaxed about getting things done,
because they enjoy the present moment
and do not want to spoil it by undue
haste or exertion.
ESFP
Outgoing, easygoing, accepting, friendly,
enjoy everything and make things more
fun for others by their enjoyment. Like
sports and making things happen. Know
whats going on and join in eagerly. Find
remembering facts easier than mastering
theories. Are best in situations that need
sound common sense and practical
ability with people as well as with things.
ESFJ
Warmhearted, talkative, popular,
conscientious, born cooperators, active
committee members. Need harmony and
may be good at creating it. Always doing
something nice for someone. Work best
with encouragement and praise. Main
interest is in things that directly and visibly
affect peoples lives.
Intuitive Types
INFJ
Succeed by perseverance, originality,
and desire to do whatever is needed or
wanted. Put their best efforts into their
work. Quietly forceful, conscientious,
concerned for others. Respected for their
firm principles. Likely to be honored and
followed for their clear convictions as to
how best to serve the common good.
INFP
Full of enthusiasms and loyalties, but
seldom talk of these until they know you
well. Care about learning, ideas,
language, and independent projects of
their own. Tend to undertake too much,
then somehow get it done. Friendly, but
often too absorbed in what they are
doing to be sociable. Little concerned
with possessions or physical surroundings.
ENFP
Warmly enthusiastic, high-spirited,
ingenious, imaginative. Able to do almost
anything that interests them. Quick with a
solution for any difficulty and ready to
help anyone with a problem. Often rely
on their ability to improvise instead of
preparing in advance. Can usually find
compelling reasons for whatever they
want.
ENFJ
Responsive and responsible. Generally
feel real concern for what others think or
want, and try to handle things with due
regard for the other persons feelings. Can
present a proposal or lead a group
discussion with ease and tact. Sociable,
popular, sympathetic. Responsive to
praise and criticism.
INTJ
Usually have original minds and great
drive for their own ideas and purposes. In
fields that appeal to them, they have a
fine power to organize a job and carry it
through with or without help. Skeptical,
critical, independent, determined,
sometimes stubborn. Must learn to yield
less important points in order to win the
most important.
INTP
Quiet and reserved. Especially enjoy
theoretical or scientific pursuits. Like
solving problems with logic and analysis.
Usually interested mainly in ideas, with little
liking for parties or small talk. Tend to have
sharply defined interests. Need careers
where some strong interest can be used
and useful.
ENTP
Quick, ingenious, good at many things.
Stimulating company, alert and
outspoken. May argue for fun on either
side of a question. Resourceful in solving
new and challenging problems, but may
neglect routine assignments. Apt to turn
to one new interest after another. Skillful in
finding logical reasons for what they want.
ENTJ
Hearty, frank, decisive, leaders in
activities. Usually good in anything that
requires reasoning and intelligent talk,
such as public speaking. Are usually well
informed and enjoy adding to their fund
of knowledge. May sometimes appear
more positive and confident than their
experience in an area warrants.
 The 16 Types
Sensing Types Intuitive Types
ISTJ ISFJ INFJ INTJ

11% 14% 2% 2%
Introverts

ISTP ISFP INFP INTP

5% 9% 4% 3%
ESTP ESFP ENFP ENTP

4% 9% 8% 3%
Extraverts

ESTJ ESFJ ENFJ ENTJ

9% 12% 3% 2%
Source: Center for Applications of Psychological Type
Break
Mindfulness
Your Here
 Mindfulness

If we are not fully ourselves, truly in the present

moment, we miss everything.

~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Graphic Source: The Sleepy Moose

 Mindfulness
Mindfulness is the process of actively noticing new things.
When you do that, it puts you in the present.
It makes you more sensitive to context and perspective.
Its the essence of engagement.

And its energy-begetting, not energy-consuming.

The mistake most people make is to assume its stressful and exhausting all this
thinking. But whats stressful is all the mindless negative evaluations we make
and the worry that well find problems and not be able to solve them.

Graph Source: Getty Images

Ellen Langer
 Mindfulness: Why its Not Happening

many organizational cultures

(maybe even society today)
drive people to action,
rather than reflection,
which means that real listening
is actually quite rare.

Mindfulness, An Essential Element of Resonant

Leadership
Mindfulness: Multitasking
 Mindfulness: Sleep

Source: Charlie Brown cartoon

Change
 We all seek stability. We want to
hold things still, thinking that if we
do, we can control them. But since
everything is always changing, that
doesnt work. Actually, it causes
you to lose control.

Ellen Langer

Source: Mindfulness in the Age of Complexity,

Harvard Business Review. March 2014
 Immunity to Change

Source: Immunity to Change, Robert Kegan

and Lisa Laskow Lahey. 2009
Reflection
 5 Steps to Become More Mindful

Be authentic.

Seek out, create and

notice new things.

Reframe mistakes into successes.

Realize how behavior can be understood

differently in different contexts.

Be aware that stress and all emotions is a result

of our view about events.
Source: 5 Mindfulness Steps That Guarantee Increased
Success and Vitality, Forbes, February 2014.
Lunch

39
Lisa Benton
Case Discussion
 Layers

Artifacts

Espoused Values

Shared Tacit Assumptions

Break
 Influence: A Different Framework
Disconnected Influence Connected Influence

Influence is about getting what Influence is about leading others

I want. to better results.

Dividing people into adversaries Viewing people as collaborators,

and allies regardless of their views

Using techniques that generate Striving to gain sustained

conditional compliance commitment

Taking things personally when Understanding why others object

others object

Focusing on the short term so Viewing your current actions as a

you can win now springboard for future relationships,
reputation, and results
Goulston, Mark, and John Ullmen. 2013. Real Influence.
United States: Mark Goulston and John Ullmen.
 The Connected Influence Model

Go for great outcomes.

Listen past your blind spot.

Engage them in their there.

When youve done enough do more.

Goulston, Mark, and John Ullmen. 2013. Real Influence.

United States: Mark Goulston and John Ullmen.
It feels so right to be wrong.
Being Wrong
 Their There

Goulston, Mark, and John Ullmen. 2013. Real Influence.

United States: Mark Goulston and John Ullmen.
A Riddle
 Listening

Level 1: Avoidance Listening Listening Over

Level 2: Defensive Listening Listening At

Level 3: Problem-Solving Listening Listening To

Level 4: Connective Listening Listening Into

 The Connected Influence Model

Go for great outcomes.

Listen past your blind spot.

Engage them in their there.

When youve done enough do more.

Goulston, Mark, and John Ullmen. 2013. Real Influence.

United States: Mark Goulston and John Ullmen.
And now for something completely different. . .
Draw a horse
 What happened?
Process: What worked/didnt work?
How do you feel about the process/outcome?
Observations about yourself?
Observations about others?
What would you do differently next time?
Break
Johannes Van Den Bosch
Case Discussion
Culture
 Cultural Dimensions (Hofstede)
Degree to which the less powerful Degree to which members of a
PDI members of a society accept and UAI society feel uncomfortable with
expect that power is distributed uncertainty and ambiguity; issue is
Uncertainty whether to try to control future or
Power Distance unequally; issue is how society Avoidance
handles inequalities among just let it happen.
people.

Degree to which people expect to Degree to which a society

IDV take care of themselves and LTO maintains some links with its own
immediate family only versus are past while dealing with challenges
Individualism taken care of by wider group. Long Term
Orientation of the present and future.

Degree to which there is a Extent to which people try to

MAS preference for achievement, IND control their desires and impulses.
heroism, assertiveness and
Masculinity Indulgence
material rewards vs. cooperation,
modesty, caring for the weak,
and quality of life.
Source: Geert-Hofted.com (accessed November 28, 2015)
 Interpreting Differences
Low
Power Power should be legitimate
Distance Boss relations are practical
Managers rely on experience
Social relations should be handled with care
Uncertainty Uncertainty is normal; life needs initiative
Avoidance Work hard when needed
Belief in common sense
Focus on invention
Individualism Relationships prevail over tasks
Team management focus
Relations are moral, like family
In group gets better treatment
Masculinity Managers use consensus and intuition
Work is humanized through social contact
Rewards are based on equality
Conflicts solved by compromise and negotiation
Long Term Focus on bottom line
Orientation Personal loyalties depend on situation
Leisure time is very important
Value freedom, rights, achievement
Indulgence Society suppresses gratification of needs and
regulates it by means of strict social norms
Source: Geert-Hofted.com and Conflict, Robert Anthony, November 2013
High
Powerful people are good
Boss relations are emotional
Managers rely on rules
Status should be balanced with restraint
Uncertainty is a threat; life needs rules
Urge to work hard
Belief in experts
Focus on implementation
Task prevails over relationship
Individual management focus
Relations are a contract
Everyone treated the same
Managers are decisive and aggressive
Work is humanized by job enrichment
Rewards are based on equity
The strongest generally win conflicts
Focus on market position
Investment in lifelong personal networks
Leisure time is less important
Value learning, honesty, discipline
Society allows relatively free gratification of
basic and natural human drives related to
enjoying life and having fun
 Source: Geert-Hofstede.com (accessed November 28, 2015)

Power Distance Individualism Masculinity Uncertainty Avoid. LT Orientation Indulgence

PDI IDV MAS UAI LTO IND

Argentina 49 46 56 86 20 62
Belgium 65 75 54 94 82 57
Brazil 69 38 49 76 44 59
Canada 39 80 52 48 36 68
China 80 20 66 30 87 24
Colombia 67 13 64 80 13 83
Egypt 70 25 45 80 7 4
France 68 71 43 86 63 48
Germany 35 67 66 65 83 40
India 77 48 56 40 51 26
Israel 13 54 47 81 38 nr
Japan 54 46 95 92 88 42
Mexico 81 30 69 82 24 97
Netherlands 38 80 14 53 67 68
Nigeria 80 30 60 55 13 84
Pakistan 55 14 50 70 50 nr
Peru 64 16 42 87 25 46
Philippines 94 32 64 44 27 42
Russia 93 39 36 95 81 20
South Korea 60 18 39 85 100 29
Spain 57 51 42 86 48 44
Taiwan 58 17 45 69 93 49
Turkey 66 37 45 85 46 49
UAE 90 25 50 80 nr 0
UK 35 89 66 35 51 69
USA 40 91 62 46 26 68
Venezuela 81 12 73 76 16 100
 When using Hofstede
(and many other such frameworks),
remember that what is true about a population
is not necessarily true of any individual in that population.

Making that assumption can be dangerously flawed.

66