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The Domestic Violence Epidemic

The U.K Government defines domestic violence to be any Commented [EF1]: The images you have chosen really pull
your attention to the article
incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive,
threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16
or over who are, or have been, intimate partners or family
members, regardless of gender and sexual identity. The abuse can Commented [EF2]: Excellent use of a definition to clearly
outline the issue
encompass, but is not limited to psychological, physical, financial
or sexual abuse.
Each year around 2.1m people suffer
some form of domestic abuse - 1.4 million
women (8.5% of the population) and
700,000 men (4.5% of the population). This Commented [EF3]: Your use of statistics indicates to
readers how prevalent the issue is. Try directing a comment
is unlikely to be the real number because to the reader
people who fall victim to domestic
violence are reluctant to report it in fear
of worsening the abuse that they are subjected to. Commented [EF4]: You have referenced the dark figure of
crime, but you could mention it by name and discuss it in
more detail

Anyone who is subjected to abuse while they are under the age
of 16 is legally a victim of child abuse. Commented [EF5]: This would be better included with
your definition in the first paragraph
Teachers, nurses, doctors and general
practitioners are taught to learn the signs of
someone being abused because theyre likely
to not want to report it. Commented [EF6]: Could be phrased more clearly

In fact, only about 35% of domestic abuse Commented [EF7]: Good use of statistics. Are there any
others that you could include?
cases are reported to the authorities each
year.

If you know anyone who may be a victim of domestic violence or Commented [EF8]: A newspaper article would end like
if you yourself are a victim, you can call the National Domestic this. Great use of your knowledge of the structure of a news
article
Helpline on 0808 2000 247.
Commented [EF9]: WWW: Overall, a very good article.
You have followed an appropriate structure, have outlined
the prevalence using statistics.
EBI: Check the phrasing of your sentences before submitting.
To improve, include a more human perspective what is it
like? You are being abused if etc. Give examples of
behaviours
Domestic violence
Commented [EF10]: Numbers under 100 are always
Domestic violence is when 2 partners in a relationship could written out in full

experience violence of one or the other, it works both ways Commented [EF11]: This should be the start of a new
sentence for ease of readability
men can experience domestic violence just as well as women
Commented [EF12]: Good use of statistics to highlight the
can. In England and Wales two women are killed every week prevalence of the problem

by a former partner. One in four women in England and


Wales will experience domestic violence in their lifetimes and
8% will suffer domestic violence in any given year.
Globally, one in three women will experience violence at the
Commented [EF13]: Excellent use of a resource that we
hands of a male partner. The 2001/02 British crime survey have mentioned in class

found that there were an estimated 635, 000 incidents of


domestic violence in England and Wales. 81% of the victims
were women and 19% were men. Domestic violence
incidents also made up nearly 22% of all violent incidents
reported by participants in the BCS.
Commented [EF14]: Clever to include the childrens
20% of children in the UK have been exposed to domestic perspective. Most people only think of domestic violence as
between married/de facto couples
abuse. In 90% of domestic violence incidents in family
Commented [EF15]: WWW: Your report includes many
households, children were in the same or the next room. statistics
EBI: It does not follow the structure or include the visuals of
a standard newspaper article. Include the human element,
examples of abuse, where to go if you are suffering domestic
violence. Etc.
Sociology Daily
April 15th, 2016 Commented [EF16]: Amazing layout of a proper
newspaper article

Commented [EF17]: A very powerful image!

Commented [EF18]: Your use of subheadings really breaks


Domestic Violence up the article into easy-to-read sections

Domestic Violence (domestic abuse, spousal abuse etc) is an ongoing and rising - in prevalence -
threat to the structural integrity of the family. Domestic Violence has existed long before modern Commented [EF19]: Very powerful language!
ages, the most famous example being the serial monogamist: King Henry VIII. He was an extreme
abuser of his wives. He went as far as to behead two of his wives. But now domestic violence is on a Commented [EF20]: Fantastic use of class material!
rise. Studies show that younger women (of ages 20-24) are more likely to report that they have
experienced domestic abuse in their lifetime. Contrary to what most would believe initially, older Commented [EF21]: It is evident that you have done extra
women have been reported to have experienced less domestic violence in their lifetimes. And can research to produce an informative article!
assume that this is perhaps due to a rise in gender equality and the disappearance of the troglodyte
chivalry (that often seemed condescending towards women). Overall, women will have experienced Commented [EF22]: Great use of statistics to demonstrate
domestic violence in their lifetime, on the other hand, of men would have experienced domestic its prevalence
violence.

As a result of the gap difference of domestic abuse between men and women, Feminist Sociologists
point the problem to the patriarchal structure of the family. They blame society and family for being
unrealistic towards of their expectations towards partners and themselves, and thinking violence can
be used to control the family and deal with their partners failing. Commented [EF23]: Excellent use of different
perspectives of sociology and reference to class material!

Commented [EF24]: A great introduction to the topic!


Its Current State in England Commented [EF25]: I really like how you have broken
your article into sections to address all the criteria of this
task

by Japheth Monzon
Commented [EF26]: Perfectly timed use of another
powerful image

Domestic violence has existed in England for as long as history has been recorded. King Henry VIII
of England was infamous for his serial monogamy. He was known to have married 7 women, abusing
some to extremities. He beheaded his 2nd and 4th wife. As there were no laws to striking a family Commented [EF27]: As these sections follow on from one
member (and lest we forget, the fact that we was the monarch), he could not be stopped. But another, there is no need to repeat yourself in such detail.
nowadays, we have carefully placed laws against such acts of domestic violence. According to
http://www.lwa.org.uk/understanding-abuse/statistics.htm , the same statistics of women and Commented [EF28]: Further evidence of research and an
men get abused in their lifetime. Furthermore, two women get killed each week as a result of domestic easy to type link for readers to use. Typically in an article, the
violence, compared to 30 men each year only. Perhaps a reason for such a low rate of men being name of the website would be mentioned for readers to
abused is the lack of reports of domestic violence. Men are afraid they would be ridiculed, people explore themselves, rather than the whole link
would not believe, or they would be accused of violence instead. But this applies to both genders. Commented [EF29]: Logical speculation. This shows that
Domestic violence is one of the least reported crimes in England and Wales. It only accounts for 16% you have really thought in depth about the topic!
of all violent crimes. Continuing with this, abuse victims are the most repeated victims, with on
average 35 assaults occurring before it is reported. It is also the most quoted reason for homelessness. Commented [EF30]: Your use of examples really
demonstrates to the reader real examples of abuse which
Another common type of abuse is forced marriage. Some women or men are forced into marriages they might find themselves in
against their will and consent, often under threat of violence. The Forced Marriage Unit responded to Commented [EF31]: Emphasis on the impacts to
over 1700 forced marriages in 2010 alone. society/the community as well as the individual shows that
you have thought about this issue within a wider context
As a result of domestic violence, 400 people that have committed suicide have been admitted to the
Commented [EF32]: Generally, newspaper articles on
hospital for domestic abuse-related injuries 6 months prior, whilst 200 commit suicide the day they
sensitive topics such as these end with information about
were admitted. According to statistics, domestic abuse costs 23 billion per annum, taking into where people can get help if they find themselves in this
consideration the cost of the Justice System, Health care Services, etc. But it is strongly believed that situation
it does cost more. After all, there are many more factors one must consider. On the other hand,
Commented [EF33]: Very powerful motivation for action
domestic abuse-related deaths cost 1 million pounds and totals 112 million per annum. So the
question for those who live in modern UK is this: Is Domestic Violence rising or falling? Is it better Commented [EF34]: Fantastic link for more information.
since the times of Henry VIII due to all the laws that have been placed for the protection of family Commented [EF35]: WWW: Excellent layout of your
members? Or is the exposing of all these domestic violence cases a testament to a rise in domestic article in the style of a newspaper. You have successfully
abuse? integrated statistics, classroom information, images,
powerful language and further research to make an
You decide amazingly informative article about domestic violence in
England today. You have considered the issue of domestic
Read more on our website violence from a range of perspectives.
EBI: Improve your article by including more of a humanistic
element. Where can these people go for help? Emphasise
there is a variety of people and institutions to help them.
You could direct more comments to sufferers, rather than
just to motivate action and awareness (although this is
equally as important). An excellent article overall! Keep up
the hard work!

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