CONTENTS

5
FEATURED ARTICLES WEEKLY COLUMNS
3 Dvar Malchus
6 JOURNEY OF A
NICE JEWISH BOY 13 Parsha Thought
FROM MANHATTAN
Nosson Avrohom 30 Moshiach & Hayom Yom
33 Tzivos Hashem
17 SOUL SAVIOR
WITH A SMILE
Moshe Shlomo

14 24
TO GIVE THANKS
AND PRAISE
Meital Sidon

26 CHASSIDIC
COACHING?
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1061_bm_eng.indd 5 2017-03-14 6:56:45 AM

 DVAR MALCHUS
POURING OUT
THE BLESSING
OF REDEMPTION
The Zohars statement begs the well-known
question: How can it be said that women are
exempt from Mitzvos? Women are actually
obligated in the majority of the Mitzvos! *
The Kos Shel Bracha of the Future Era entails
the revelation of the essence of G-d, which is
connected with the essence of a Jew, a Jews
inner core which transcends Torah and Mitzvos.
Translated by Boruch Merkur
EVERYONE IS OBLIGATED
IN KOS SHEL BRACHA
1. My revered father, in his notes
on the Zohar, devotes much attention
to the verse, cited in the classic mystical
texts commentary on this weeks Torah
portion, And it shall be at the end of
days that the mountain of the House
of G-d shall be firmly established at the
top of the mountains, and it shall be
raised above the hills, and all the nations
shall stream to it (Yeshaya 2:2). The
Zohar asks: Who is the top of the
mountains (rosh haharim; literally
head of the mountains)? This refers are exempt from Mitzvos, everyone is
to Avrohom, etc. Since he is the head, it
is proper that the Kos Shel Bracha (Cup
of Benediction, the cup of wine upon
which Birkas HaMazon, Grace after
Meals, is said) shall be at the top of the
mountains, etc.
1061_bm_eng.indd 3
The Zohar continues (expounding
on the continuation of the verse, And
it shall be in the end of days, etc.):
All the nations shall gather towards
him to what does this refer? The
Zohar answers, the intent here is to
include [in answering amen to Birkas
HaMazon] even women and children,
as well as the one who serves the meal.
That is, even though the servant did
not partake of the meal, he needs to
listen and answer amen, etc. The
Zohar offers an alternate interpretation:
All the nations shall gather towards
him although women and children
obligated in Kos Shel Bracha, etc.
WOMEN ARE EXEMPT
FROM MITZVOS?!
2. The Zohars statement, although
women (and children) are exempt
from Mitzvos, everyone is obligated in
Kos Shel Bracha, etc., begs the well-
known question: How can it be said that
women are exempt from Mitzvos?
Women are actually obligated in the
majority of the Mitzvos!
It is impossible to say that by,
[they] are exempt from Mitzvos, the
Zohar is only referring to children and
not women, for then it would not have
been necessary to mention women at
all here. By the same token, men are
not mentioned in this context inasmuch
as there is nothing novel in saying that
men are obligated in Kos Shel Bracha.
The resolution to this difficulty is as
follows. Exempt from Mitzvos is only
said here with regard to the requirement
of Birkas HaMazon. That is, there are
two opinions proposed in the Gemara
as to what extent women are obligated
in Birkas HaMazon. According to one
opinion, the obligation is of Biblical
origin, whereas another opinion
maintains that it is a Rabbinical decree.
Thus, the statement, although
womenare exempt from Mitzvos,
everyone is obligated in Kos Shel
Bracha, can be understood in two
ways: a) The Zohar follows the ruling
that women are not Biblically obligated
in Birkas HaMazon [nevertheless, they
are still obligated in Kos Shel Bracha];
b) the opinion of the Zohar is that
women are Biblically obligated in Birkas
HaMazon, nevertheless, even according
Issue 1061 3
2017-03-14 6:56:46 AM
 Dvar Malchus
to the second Talmudic opinion that
women are not Biblically obligated
in Birkas HaMazon everyone is
obligated in Kos Shel Bracha, in
precisely the same manner as those
who are Biblically obligated in Birkas
HaMazon. That is, Kos Shel Bracha is
[equally] applicable to all Jewish people
men, women, and children.
It remains to be explained, however,
why this is so, why women and
children are exempt from Mitzvos yet
they are obligated in Kos Shel Bracha
just like men. []
KOSI REVAYA:
THE CUP OF MOSHIACH
3. This topic will be elucidated
in light of a discussion of the general
concept of Kos Shel Bracha, the Cup of
Benediction, which can be observed at
various spiritual levels.
When we speak about a regular cup,
the cup in question can, of course, vary
significantly in size. It can be a small
cup, a medium-sized cup, a large cup,
or the greatest cup of all, kosi revaya
(my cup quenches thirst) (of Moshiach
the King), which holds 221 lugin (221
being the numerical equivalent of
revaya).
So too regarding Kos Shel Bracha
it can be observed at a variety of levels,
including the greatest level, the Kos Shel
Bracha of the Future Era, which will also
be the kosi revaya, holding 221 lugin,
numerically equivalent to arich (long,
great), which alludes to Arich Anpin, a
level of Divinity that transcends all other
concepts, including the intellect. []
In fact, it is from this level [the
Kos Shel Bracha of the Future Era, the
unparalleled height of Arich Anpin] that
the future redemption emerges.
Since the Zohar on this weeks
Torah portion speaks about the state
that will be in the end of days, in the
future redemption, it is logical to say
that when the Zohar speaks about the
Kos Shel Bracha in this context, the
intent is with regard to the Kos Shel
Bracha of the Future Era.
4 19 Adar 5777
1061_bm_eng.indd 4
WHY CHILDREN
ARE OBLIGATED IN
KOS SHEL BRACHA
4. Accordingly we can explain why
the Zohar says that although children
are exempt from Mitzvos they are
obligated in Kos Shel Bracha:
Children [as well as women;
see footnote in the original text]
accelerate the advent of Moshiach,
as is written in the Zohar on the verse
in Shir HaShirim, The blossoms
have appeared in the land, the time of
singing has arrived, and the voice of the
turtledove (the redemption) is heard in
our land: The blossoms have appeared
in the land refers to Jewish children.
Thus, they are also obligated (they have
a portion) in the Kos Shel Bracha of the
Future Era (which the Zohar is speaking
about here).
BUT HOW DO THEY HAVE
AN EQUAL PORTION?
5. However, at first glance it remains
to be explained:
The general principle that all
the revelations of the Future Era are
dependent upon our deeds and our
service throughout the duration of the
present era is a well-known concept. But
since women and children are exempt
from Mitzvos, they therefore dont have
our deeds and our service per se.
(It is true that they are involved in
all the Mitzva Campaigns. (Women
even participate in the Tfillin Campaign
by influencing men to wrap tfillin.)
And through our deeds especially
general, central activities, such as
the Mitzva Campaigns they bring
our righteous Moshiach. This merit,
however, extends to women and children
only insofar as they influence others; it is
not fulfilled in them personally.)
On this basis [i.e., since their deeds
and service are not equal to those
of men], how is it possible to say that
women and children have an equal
portion in (the revelations of) the Kos
Shel Bracha of the Future?
THE HUSBAND FULFILLS
MITZVOS ON BEHALF
OF HIS WIFE
6. With regard to women, it is
possible to answer according to what
is discussed in the works of the Arizal
that the reason why women are
exempt from positive, timely Mitzvos
is because their husbands fulfill them
on their behalf. For a woman embodies
Malchus [Kingship, the lowest of the
ten Divine Attributes, which serves as
a recipient from the higher Attributes]
and a womans husband embodies Zeir
Anpin [the six emotional Attributes,
which channel G-dliness into Malchus].
Since the husband fulfills Mitzvos at the
level of Zeir Anpin, this automatically
affects Malchus. (In fact, it is thus done
in a more profound manner by way of
Zeir Anpin, which transcends Malchus.)
However, regarding children, who
are likewise exempt from Mitzvos, the
question still stands: how are they privy
to the revelation of the Future Era?
But also regarding women:
From the very fact that the Zohar
emphasizes this concept that women
(and children) are exempt from Mitzvos
it is understood that their obligation in
Kos Shel Bracha is not because Mitzvos
pertain to them as well (through their
husbands) but that their exemption
from Mitzvos does not interfere with
this revelation.
KOS SHEL BRACHA:
THE REVELATION OF THE
VERY ESSENCE OF G-D
7. The resolution of the matter:
This concept (of the Kos Shel
Bracha) of the Future Era entails
the revelation of the essence of G-d
(as explained in several places in Pri
Eitz Chayim, in the Future Era the
inner aspect of Atika Kadisha will be
revealed), which is connected with the
essence of a Jew, a Jews inner core
which transcends Torah and Mitzvos,
for the connection and unity of a Jew
with the very essence and being of
2017-03-14 6:56:46 AM
 G-d entirely transcends revelations.
It is impossible for G-ds essence to
be grasped through the intellectual
faculties of Wisdom, Understanding,
and Knowledge, through the Emotional
Attributes, nor through the three
garments of the soul, thought, speech,
and action. Rather, this is a connection
and unity of essence to essence [the
essence of a Jew with the very essence
of G-d]. Jews are a veritable part of
G-d above, and the essence, when
you grasp part of it, you grasp it all.
Therefore when you grasp a Jew here
in this material world, you grasp, as it
were, the very essence of G-d!
Thus, the revelation of this
connection, which comprises the
concept of the Kos Shel Bracha of
the Future Era, is present in every
Jew equally including woman and
children, who are exempt from Mitzvos
for this is a connection that entirely
transcends Torah and Mitzvos.
As discussed above in the maamer
(beginning with the words VAta Im
Matzatzi Chein BEinecha, etc., which
is founded on the maamer of the same
opening words of 5678, as well as the
maamer of the Tzemach Tzedek on the
same verse, which speaks about these
concepts (and they have other drushim
connected with this, as well)) regarding
chein (grace), which is even higher
than an initiative from below (and the
service of Torah and Mitzvos). Thus,
the concept of chein extends even to
children and babies.
In fact, since there is no concept of
Mitzvos regarding children (as well as
women), the concept of chein is more
revealed in them, stemming from the
very essence.
THE ZOHAR: DISPELLING
MISCONCEPTIONS
8. The following lesson in serving
G-d can be derived from the Zohar
discussed above:
Since the redemption is dependent
upon our deeds and our Divine
service in the present era, one may be
1061_bm_eng.indd 5
led to believe that this detracts from the
importance of working with children,
for children are exempt from Mitzvos.
Similarly regarding women: They say
that Mivtza Tfillin, for example, brings
the redemption, but women have no
obligation to put on tfillin. A womans
connection with the redemption,
therefore, appears to be limited.
To dispel these misconceptions, the
Zohar teaches that even though women
and children are exempt from Mitzvos,
everyone is obligated in the Kos Every Jew has a connection to the Kos
Shel Bracha of the Messianic Era, for
everything related to the redemption is
in fact equally relevant to all Jews. The
redemption is connected with a Jews
essence, which transcends even Torah
and Mitzvos, and when we speak about
a Jews essence, all Jews are equal.
Moreover, since children (as well as
women) have the power to dramatically
speed up the redemption, it is actually
incredibly important to devote ones
efforts towards them.
The same lesson applies to adults.
When a Jew is approached and
encouraged to participate in singing we
want Moshiach now, for he will thereby
speed up the redemption he argues
that it is first necessary to accumulate
Torah and Mitzvos to prepare to
welcome Moshiach Tzidkeinu. We must
tell this Jew that in essence, Moshiach is
beyond all considerations of Torah and
Mitzvos. In this respect, when Moshiach
comes, it is irrelevant whether he had
put on tfillin on the eve of Shabbos,
whether he made Kiddush by day (on
Shabbos), whether he sat and struggled
for three hours at the farbrengen to
stay awake The fact is that even if he
sleeps during the farbrengen, he will still
get a portion of Kos Shel Bracha. And
what a Kos Shel Bracha Kosi Revaya!
(Similarly with regard to what
Rambam writes at the conclusion of the
Laws of Kings and their Wars that in
the Future Era there will be delicacies
commonly available, like dust. As a
result of this great, universal abundance,
every single person will have a share in
the Kos Shel Bracha of the redemption.)
THE JEWISH SPARK
IN THE WAITER
9. An additional lesson is derived
from this teaching in the Zohar:
Prior to saying, although women
and children are exempt from Mitzvos,
everyone is obligated in Kos Shel
Bracha, the Zohar relates: Evena
servant who serves food even though
he doesnt partake of the meal he too
needs to give voice and say amen, etc.
Shel Bracha of the Future Era, even
the person who serves the meal, the
waiter. The reason for this is, as above,
on account of the fact that he too the
waiter has the etzem, the essential
Jewish spark.
From here we learn a simple lesson:
Even if there is a person whose role it is
to simply serve the meal He doesnt
[participate in the meal, meaning
he doesnt] serve G-d at all; he only
endeavors to provide others with food
and drink, so that they should be able
to imbibe Torah and Mitzvos, etc., in a
manner that Rashi says, like a table that
is set and prepared, from upon which
people may eat. Even this person has a
connection with the Kos Shel Bracha of
the Future Era.
For at first glance, he has done
nothing to improve his spiritual
condition. He did not repent and
return to G-d, he did not fulfill Torah
and mitzvos, and he is, at first glance,
lacking in the concept of our deeds and
our Divine service of the present times!
However, from here we see how the
revelation of the Future Era will entirely
transcend the concept of Torah and
Mitzvos, and how at that time, the very
essence of a Jews soul will be revealed,
the Jewish spark that is connected with
the essence and being of G-d Himself,
and it will be revealed how the essence
entirely transcends Torah and Mitzvos.
Thus, he too will participate in the Kos
Shel Bracha of the Future Era.
(From the address of Shabbos Parshas Ki Sisa
5741)
Issue 1061 5
2017-03-14 6:56:46 AM
 PROFILE

JOURNEY
OF A
NICE JEWISH BOY
FROM MANHATTAN
6 19 Adar 5777

1061_bm_eng.indd 6 2017-03-14 6:56:48 AM

 The fascinating life story of Rabbi
Shlomo Kabakov, mental health
therapist and former photographer. *
He grew up as a typical American kid
in Manhattan, but his soul gave him
no rest until he found what he was
looking for, in Judaism. And then he
discovered Chassidus, and one day,
even discovered his Chabad roots.

By Nosson Avrohom
Photos Doron Photo Events

I
t was a long road that Rabbi Shlomo Kabakov of
yishuv Nachliel took until he arrived at his lifes
work. You can meet him in the public clinics of
Bayit Cham and Leumit in the religious cities of
Elad and Modiin Ilit as a mental health therapist. His
attire lets you know he is a Chabad Chassid, but this
does not in any way diminish the admiration people have
for his work and devotion.
A therapy session for me is a sort of farbrengen.
The basis of the treatment is creating trust with the
client, speaking one on one, listening, honesty,
authenticity. Precisely the elements of a farbrengen.
I have found work in which a great part of the day is
spent farbrenging.
R Kabakovs hours are full of encounters with
patients, as well as long meetings with colleagues,
while pursuing continuing education in order to
further develop his therapeutic approach. He is the
kind of person who never rests.

CHILDHOOD IN MANHATTAN
Shlomo Kabakov was born over fifty years ago,
on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. When he
was older, the family moved to the East Side of
Manhattan. His father was an oncologist and his
mother was a homemaker.
Although we werent religious, we belonged to the
Orthodox community led by Rabbi Haskel Lookstein.
And although my parents were not religious, it was
important to them that we preserve our Jewish
identity, which is why they sent us to a Jewish school.
For my bar mitzva, I was sent to prepare with
Rabbi Rosenberg, the gabbai of the shul, a Chabad
Chassid. He instilled in me values that stayed with

Issue 1061 7

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 Profile
me for many years to come. He
spoke to me in a straightforward
way, and I remember that I loved
to go and learn with him.
Along with his bar mitzva
lessons, his parents fulfilled his
dream and gave him photography
equipment and a darkroom
to develop photos as their bar
mitzva present to him.
Since Ive been a kid, Ive
loved photography. I would walk
around the streets of New York
and take pictures. While going
to school, I developed this hobby
and turned it into a profession.
I held exhibits of my photos in
coffee houses and there was
great interest in them. I especially
enjoyed photographing street
scenes.
His sister went to a religious
school in Manhattan and became
very religious and this had an
influence on the rest of the
family. Their home changed a lot
thanks to her. His father who was
barely home on Shabbos because
of work at the hospital, started
staying home on Shabbos and
even held Shabbos meals. The
sister then flew to Eretz Yisroel
to attend a religious seminary
and she eventually married Rabbi
Danny Cohen, rav in Bat Ayin.
It took me more time, says
Shlomo. I found my inner peace
on trips and the long hikes I did in
the forests and mountains around
New York. I loved contemplating
nature and its beauty.
R Kabakov says he realized
that Jews are unique. He saw
this, for example, in his fathers
Jewish humor, that no outsider
could really appreciate. At a
certain point he even wanted to
become religious, but for a long
time there was nobody to guide
him.
Photography and hiking
gave me great satisfaction, but
whenever I finished a hike or
8 19 Adar 5777
1061_bm_eng.indd 8
exhibition, I was struck by a
sense of emptiness. The one who
encouraged me to go to Eretz
Yisroel was my older sister, who
registered me in Aish HaTorah. I
was eighteen.
DISCOVERING CHASSIDUS
R Kabakov studied in Aish
HaTorah for a year and became
a baal teshuva. I felt how Torah
study changed me. Then he
transferred to the Litvish yeshiva
Darche Noam in Kiryat Moshe in
Yerushalayim.
Despite the many hours of
learning and the feeling that I had
found my place, I still felt some
dissatisfaction. When I became
exposed to sifrei Chassidus and
attended a Tanya shiur for the
first time, which was organized
in stealth, I realized that I had
finally found what I was looking
for. But I still did not have the
courage to change.
Shlomo married in 5744
and settled in Romema in
Yerushalayim. To earn a living,
he went back to his hobby and
began offering his services as
an event photographer. He was
hired to photograph an event
that was held by the Chabad
Shamir organization. By divine
providence, a few days earlier,
my chavrusa gave me the book by
R Lazer Nannes, Subbota, as
a gift. The book stuck out of my
coat pocket.
Rabbi Yitzchok Kogan,
who welcomed me at the event,
noticed the book and made me
an offer I couldnt refuse. Do
you want to meet the author?
I was surprised and very happy.
He arranged a meeting with R
Lazer Nannes. R Nannes told
me that he knew a Chassid of the
Rebbe Rashab whose name was
Kabakov, the same as my name,
who was a lumber merchant.
He even told me that in the first
group of students in Yeshivas
Tomchei Tmimim in Lubavitch,
there were seven bachurim there
by the name of Kabakov.
I connected to him very
much, and after that, every week
we would meet to learn Tanya
together. I quickly realized that
this is what my soul yearned
for all those years. R Nannes
epitomized the image of an
early Chassid filled with Jewish
soul powers the likes of which I
had never seen. When my father
came to visit me, I had him meet
R Nannes.
MY FATHER AND
CHABAD CHASSIDIM
After realizing that the
Kabakov family likely had roots
in Lubavitch, Shlomo relayed this
to his father and was surprised
to hear how much his father
admired the Rebbe. This was
something that, for some reason,
he had not heard about before.
As a senior doctor (he
worked as a senior doctor at
Beth Israel hospital for several
years), he was the doctor to
many Lubavitcher Chassidim.
He once told me that there was
a Lubavitcher girl who came
to his department in a coma.
His professional opinion was
that if there was no medical
intervention, she would not
survive. And even if they did treat
her, her chances of surviving
were, at most, 50%.
Her parents told the
medical team that before they
made a decision, they would
ask the Rebbe. To my fathers
amazement, and the amazement
of the medical team, the Rebbe
suggested they wait ten days. My
father said he was very skeptical,
but on the morning of the tenth
day the girl opened her eyes and
her condition improved without
2017-03-14 6:56:49 AM
 any medical intervention.
The younger Kabakov family
moved to Har Nof and R Shlomo
looked for a place to daven. A
friend recommended a Chabad
shul. There is a farbrengen after
the davening on Shabbos, he
said.
When I went to the shul,
I immediately knew this was
the place I wanted to daven in.
Not only was the chulent at the
farbrengens great, but so were
the Chassidim I met there. I
learned a lot from them. They
gave me the right tools for life.
At that time, R Boruch Kaplan
founded a yeshiva program for
English speakers and I began R Kabakovs father speaking with R Lazer Nannes
learning Chassidus together
with Rabbi Shlomo Mann. I also
learned a lot from Rabbi Moshe
Vishnefsky and Rabbi Moshe
Miller. I learned with all of them
and gained a lot; they turned me
into a Chabad Chassid.
I saw people who dont put
on any shows, and all of their
davening and learning is done
sedately and with inner thought.
When I learned Chassidus, I
realized where this came from.
At the same time, R Kabakov
studied Gemara with a chavrusa.
The chavrusa was shocked by
the change in his friend and
was not willing to concede so
quickly. They got into frequent
debates. His questions had to do
with various Chabad practices.
Thanks to him, I gained a
thorough knowledge of Chabad
customs along with their sources
and details, and it was all in order
to know how to respond.
One day, the rosh yeshiva
came over to me and said he
heard that the Rebbe announced
that girls also need to learn
Torah and this surprised him. I
happened to have the sicha on
me and I gave it to him to learn.
He took the sicha and came A letter from the Rebbe to R Kabakovs father

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 Profile

Rebbe dissolved all the feelings

of hardship. Those words have
accompanied her ever since,
and whenever she has thoughts
of lesser worth, she feels the
Rebbe telling her that she too is
valuable.

EDUCATIONAL FILMS
R Kabakov was one of the
first to produce educational
films for children in the religious
sector. His films, which have
been seen by tens of thousands,
have become standard fare for
children growing up today in the
Chareidi world.
R Kabakov reviewing a maamer in the Chabad shul in Har Nof at the bris of his son
Binyomin. From left to right: R Moshe Miller, R Daniel Cohen, R Kabakov and his At a certain point, I decided
father, ?, R Mordechai Stern to use my photographic skill to
do something meaningful that

Her parents told the medical team that before would impact on the maximum
number of people. I focused
they made a decision, they would ask the Rebbe. mainly on humor, which has the
To my fathers amazement, and the amazement of the greatest influence on children.
My first film told the story of a
medical team, the Rebbe suggested they wait ten days. boy from a poor family who finds
On the morning of the tenth day the girl opened her some money, but he knows that
he should return it to its rightful
eyes and her condition improved without any medical owner. The film shows his inner
intervention. struggles. I produced many
more films and they all contain
educational messages.

back to me the next day and
said, I completely agree with the
Rebbe.
ENCOUNTER
WITH THE REBBE
For Shavuos 5747, still in
their early days of connection to
Chabad, the Kabakov couple flew
with their two little children to
the Rebbe.
At that time, my wife was
feeling that she is sacrificing her
own life for the sake of raising
the children. For a young mother
who was not yet used to it, it was
very difficult. She thought she
would ask the Rebbe about it at
dollars. As the line progressed,
she felt more embarrassed and
decided that she would not
bother the Rebbe with such
foolishness, in her words, and
she left the line.
A number of Chabad ladies
who heard from her that she
had decided to quit the line,
refused to leave her alone until
they convinced her to rejoin the
line. She passed by the Rebbe
with our son Binyamin in her
arms. The Rebbe gave a broad
smile and pushed a dollar into
his hand. My wife turned to
continue walking, but suddenly
she said to the Rebbe, Me too?
The Rebbe answered, You too,
and gave her a dollar. Those two
words that she heard from the
NEW JOB HELPING JEWS
When he reached the age of
forty, R Kabakov experienced
a personal crisis. I felt that
everything I was doing did not
give me inner satisfaction. I
thought about my father the
doctor, my two sisters who are
social workers, and a brother who
is a pioneer in services for the
deaf and blind. And what about
me? I felt that I had to make a
career change. I wrote to the
Rebbe and received an amazing
answer in the Igros Kodesh. The
Rebbe writes there that the world
stands on Torah, Avoda (prayer),
and Gemillas Chassadim (acts
of kindness), and that in our

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 generation there is a greater need
for acts of kindness.
R Kabakov felt that this was
a clear and direct bracha from
the Rebbe to study a profession
that would give him the tools
to help Jews. He flew to New
York and went back to being a
student, completing a degree in
social work. Today he works as
a social worker, doing individual,
marriage and family therapy.
He has also since completed
a Masters degree from Bar
Ilan University in social work,
training for trauma therapy in
Machon Cheiruv, and training
for family therapy in Machon
Lamishpacha. He provides
individual counseling using CBT,
guided visualization, support
therapy, as well as dealing with
anxiety and post-traumatic stress.
What exactly is your job?
How would you define it?
I would categorize myself
as someone who treats minor
psychiatric conditions, which Directing an educational video
include issues of self-image,
self-confidence, anxieties and the person ceases to function. for social reasons and did not
traumas. A person who walks A medical doctor will never be succeed in impressing people or
around for a long time with the able to diagnose a problem if did not get the feedback that he
feeling that he is not okay and the person sitting opposite him thought he would receive; then
his environment is not treating is functioning at one hundred comes the crash. Truthfully, it is
him right, is likely to experience percent. The same applies to hard to pull yourself out of it. A
anxiety, and I am there to help psychology. It is only when a lot of social anxiety also comes
him figure out his place in the person has difficulty completing from perfectionism.
world. I teach him how to get tasks that he used to manage What tools do you use in
himself out of that rut. In most easily that we know that he is in treatment?
cases, anxieties are not inherent, distress. I have in my arsenal two
they are acquired. What are the most common main approaches. One is CBT. I
How does an ordinary emotional problems? question the person to find what
person determine that a given Social anxiety. People interpretation they apply to their
struggle is not simply a passing convince themselves that the situations and understand from
thing, but an anxiety that other person harbors ill will that how that interpretation is
requires treatment? towards them, or sometimes the source of the challenges, and
Generally, a person comes people for whatever reason then work to change them. For
for counseling when his daily feel that they are not accepted example, a person who lives in an
functioning is compromised. If a socially. This will generally occur environment of endless conflict
person doesnt leave his house, when a person tries too hard to will interpret certain situations
we all understand that there is impress others. For example, differently than someone who
a problem. The indication that a yeshiva student who decides lives in a tranquil environment.
the problem is acute is when to be extremely pious mostly This approach is similar to the

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 Profile
R Kabakov with his bar mitzva son
saying of the Tzemach Tzedek,
Think good and it will be good.
Or more accurately, the teaching
of the Baal Shem Tov, In the
place where a persons thoughts
are, that is where he is.
In recent years, I studied an
additional approach called IFS,
developed by Richard Schwartz.
He argues that a person at his
core is essentially pure and good,
but that childhood experiences
may cause different internal
responses from the person.
A person might find himself
avoiding certain actions or
creating certain situations as a
result of the internal conflicts of
this inner construct.
You identify openly as
Chabad in a decidedly Litvishe
environment. How do they
accept you?
Quite well. I never
encountered any difficulty related
to this subject. I do my work in
a professional manner. When
somebody has psychological
problems, he needs someone with
expertise in psychology. I have
great respect for the demographic
12 19 Adar 5777
1061_bm_eng.indd 12
that I work with, and the fact that
I am Chabad has no bearing on
how they relate to me.
Does the fact that you are
a Chabad Chassid and study
Chassidus help you in your
work in any way?
Chassidus is built on
understanding the inner
workings of the soul. That is
the subject matter that Tanya
addresses. For example, when the
Alter Rebbe writes about making
an accounting of the soul, he is
not referring to making a list of
all the sins and transgressions
that we committed. Rather,
he is talking about the need to
discern where we are holding
and what state we are in, which
is basically what a therapist does.
He has to ascertain the state of
the client and figure out why he
is responding the way that he is.
There is a tremendously novel
insight of the Alter Rebbe, in
that he draws clear distinctions
between the Good Inclination
and the Evil Inclination. If a
person acts inappropriately,
that does not indicate that he is
bad. His essence remains good,
but his inclination overpowered
him.
Many clients experience
emotional and psychological
hardships because they set the
bar too high for
themselves, and
when they fall
short they can
find themselves
in a crisis. People
who suffer from
perfectionism can
very easily fall into
negative cycles, and
then I will often
use the distinctions
that the Alter Rebbe
lays out between
the tzaddik, beinoni
and rasha. I explain
to the person how far he is from
being an actual tzaddik, which is
normal, and therefore he needs
to calm down. In general, when
you learn Chassidus you have
a better understanding of why
things happen.
Nowadays, there is great
awareness of the field of
psychology. Never before did
such a thing exist. We need to
remember who started the whole
thing the Baal Shem Tov, and
afterwards it was expounded
upon in greater specificity in
Chabad Chassidus. After it
came down to the world in the
writings of Chassidus, in vessels
of Torah, it found different forms
of expression in many different
types of treatment. This is Geula,
the times of Moshiach.
Freud, the father of modern
psychology, came many years
after the Baal Shem Tov who
is the true founder of the
psychological field. For example,
the mirror concept of the
Baal Shem Tov, which basically
posits that the negatives that a
person sees in another are issues
that he needs to correct within
himself. This treatment tool has
a different name in psychology,
projection, but it is the same idea.
That is how Chassidus spreads in
roundabout ways.
2017-03-14 6:56:52 AM
 PARSHA THOUGHT
DIAGNOSIS
OF HALF-DAY
SYNDROME AND
ITS THERAPY
By Rabbi Heschel Greenberg
HALF-SHEKEL
FOR ATONEMENT
One of the most troubling
events in all of Jewish history is
recorded in this weeks parsha,
Ki Sisa. It is the sorry saga of the
Golden Calf. In Moshes absence,
combined with a miscalculation
of the time he was supposed to
have returned from Mount Sinai,
the Jewish people constructed
and worshipped a Golden Calf.
How were they possibly
able to atone for this terrible
transgression?
The answer is provided for
in the beginning of this weeks
parsha: Each man should
contribute a Half-Shekel.
Why a Half-Shekel? We can
understand how giving charity
can elicit G-ds compassion
for us just as we have shown
compassion to others. But, why
should the giving of half of a
Shekel bring about atonement for
such a terrible transgression?
Several approaches have been
given to explain the significance
of the Half-Shekel:
1061_bm_eng.indd 13
One explanation is that the
Half-Shekel underscores our
dependence on G-d. We must
always recognize that we are
only a half of an entity and
without G-ds intervention in our
lives, the other half, we cannot
accomplish anything.
A similar explanation on the
emphasis of the Half-Shekel
highlights the need for Jewish
unity; without support from our
fellow Jews we are only half.
We also know the Talmudic
tradition that the Half-Shekel
was given in anticipation of
Hamans decree to annihilate
the Jewish people. His argument
was that they are a fragmented
and divisive people. The giving of
the Half shekel centuries earlier
dispelled that argument and
demonstrated the inherent unity
of the Jewish people.
However, these approaches
do not directly connect the theme
of half to the sin of the Golden
Calf. What is the connection of
a Half-Shekel to the sin of the
Golden Calf?
HALF-DAY/HALF SHEKEL
One approach can be found
in the Midrash which states that
the creation of the Golden Calf
started at noon (half of the day),
the time they had erroneously
predicted that Moshe should
have returned. The Midrash
states that because the Jewish
people sinned at half of the day
they were commanded to give a
Half Shekel.
However, this explanation
seems to leave more questions
open than it answers.
First, why would giving a
Half Shekel atone for the sin of
constructing a Golden Calf?
Second, why did the Torah
pick such a tangential and
marginal fact, that the sin
occurred at half day, to require
giving only a half-shekel?
Third, why is the time they
sinned important? Did it really
make a difference whether they
sinned early in the morning, late
at night, or at mid-day?
STATE OF MIND
One explanation is that the
half day is not only an indication
of the time in which they sinned
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 PARSHA THOUGHT
but also their state of mind.
Daylight is a metaphor for
clarity. And, in our context, it is
a sign of moral clarity. Sinning at
half of the day means that their
moral clarity was clouded.
However, this raises a new
question. If half-day is a sign of
a lack of moral clarity, then why
didnt it happen at night when
there is no daylight whatsoever?
The question is even more
significant when we consider
the magnitude of the sin of
the Golden Calf. It wasnt
comparable to their infantile
complaining about water. Here
they created the very antithesis
of the Second Commandant: not
to have any other g-ds. It was
as brazen a violation and act of
unfaithfulness as one could have
imagined.
How then could we call this
sin just half-day clarity? It is
the nadir of night and darkness!
In truth, Rashi quotes the
Talmudic tradition that the Satan
created darkness and confusion.
If so, why highlight the fact that
it was mid-day? We should be
accentuating the fact that it was
at a time shrouded in darkness
and utter confusion?
HOW COULD
THEY STRAY SO FAR?
To understand the dynamics
of this half-day sin we must
first understand how it was
possible for the people to have
sinned so egregiously just 40
days after G-d revealed Himself
to each and every individual Jew?
How does a person who is so
flooded with G-dly daylight make
a 180-degree reversal?
Imagine a normal, decent
moral person suddenly having
an urge to go out and kill people.
That individual would have
recognized that something has
14 19 Adar 5777
1061_bm_eng.indd 14
gone awry. Any normal person
would realize that he or she is
experiencing a serious brain
chemical imbalance and look
for help. Why didnt they look
for some guidance from Aharon
and Chur, the people Moshe
deputized to settle all their
questions? Why didnt they think
of consulting with them?
The truth is that they
consulted with Chur but they
didnt like his response. When
he told them to desist from going
forward with their plan, they
killed him. Aharon, we are told,
was concerned that if he stood
in their way they would kill him
too, and for the sin of killing the
High Priest they would never be
forgiven.
So this actually magnifies
the question. How could it be
that they sinned so egregiously
without realizing that there was
something wrong with their
thought patterns?
A MIRAGE
The answer lies in another
Midrashic commentary stating
that the Satan created a mirage
and showed them Moshes
lifeless body. When they realized
that Moshe was gone forever,
they looked for a replacement.
They did not decide to
violate G-ds commandments.
On the contrary, they were
convinced that they had a G-d
given obligation to create a
replacement for Moshe. They
further reasoned that the fact that
Moshe never returned was a sign
from on High that his brand of
leadership was not appropriate
for this new generation. Moshe,
they conceded, was great enough
to lead them out of Egypt and
bring them to Mount Sinai. But
now, they believed, Moshe had
risen to a higher world and was
no longer qualified to be their
earthly leader.
After all, they reasoned, every
generation has its own leader
who is uniquely suited for that
particular generation. And now,
leadership appeared to have
passed from Moshe to a Golden
Calf.
But why a Golden Calf?
Ironically, here too, they used
their belief in Divine Providence
to conclude that the right
replacement for Moshe was a
Golden Calf.
This premise is based on
another Midrashic source that
says that G-d appeared with
His angels at Mt. Sinai, and
prominent among the angels was
the Face of an Ox mentioned
in the Book of Yechezkel as part
of G-ds Chariot. In other words,
in their half-baked minds, G-d
was showing them what to do
in the absence of Moshe; create
a down-to-earth image and
representation of the celestial
Face of the Ox to guide them into
the future.
In their distorted way of
thinking they believed that
they were actually doing the
right thing, which is why they
murdered Chur. The people
considered him to be a threat
to what they perceived was the
Divinely ordained new-world-
order, with a new set of priorities.
To them, creating the Golden
Calf was not an act of the night;
it was daylight.
This then is the meaning
of half-day. Night is a symbol
of outright rebellion. Day is a
symbol of total receptivity to
G-ds will. However, a half-
measure of day indicates doing
evil under the guise that it is
G-ds will.
The giving of the Half-Shekel
alerts us to moral hazard when
we find spiritual rationalizations
2017-03-14 6:56:54 AM

to our behaviors. While it seems
that it is broad daylight, it is
actually the Satan shrouding us
in darkness and confusion.
THE TRUE NATURE OF
HALF-DAY
The truth is that mid-day
is the point when the light of
the sun is directly over us and
represents its strongest influence.
It is the time of day G-d took
the Jewish people out of Egypt.
In the Messianic Age, the
sin of the Golden Calf will be
transformed into the powerful
light of day, associated with Half-
Day.
But as we stand on the
threshold of that positive
manifestation of the Half-Day,
the challenge for us is to avoid
rationalizing half-baked spiritual
values.
Translating the above into
contemporary terms, we must
remain vigilant and dismiss any
suggestion that our Moshe, as
well as our internal Moshe, is
gone and we now need a new
brand of Moshe, a new type of
leadership that will steer us in
a different direction. We must
not follow the generation of
the Golden Calf and convince
1061_bm_eng.indd 15
Translating the above into contemporary
terms, we must remain vigilant and dismiss
any suggestion that our Moshe, as well as our internal
Moshe, is gone and we now need a new brand of Moshe,
a new type of leadership that will steer us in a different
direction. We must not follow the generation of the
Golden Calf and convince ourselves that we must look
for another force that is more in touch with the new
realities of life.
ourselves that we must look for fence built on a roof to prevent
another force that is more in falling off. It is also the gematria
touch with the new realities of of the word adir-mighty. This
life. word, which is applied to G-d,
The greatest danger occurs is also applied to Moshiach in
when we begin to rationalize the book of Yirmiyahu (30: 21)
these changes and try to convince as interpreted by the Talmud
ourselves that what we want is (Sanhedrin 98b).
actually G-ds will. We prepare for the Final
When we dispel the notion Redemption by recognizing the
that Moshe is gone, in whichever pitfalls of the half-day syndrome
form that takes, we are replicating by building a figurative fence so
the Half-Shekel, the force that that we dont fall off our high
gets us out of Galus, the seeds of perch the way the creators of
which were planted with the sin the Golden Calf did, coming
of the Golden Calf. off their high perch of Sinai. In
doing so, we will be ready for the
time when G-d, the Adir-Mighty
THE MIGHTY FENCE One, will be fully revealed in this
In the realm of Torah hints, month of Adar, which is related
half of the numerical value of to the word Adir, through the
the word shekel is the same as leadership of Moshiach, who is
the word maakeh, a parapet, a also called Adir.
Issue 1061 15
2017-03-14 6:56:54 AM
 OBITUARY

Rabbi Shlomo Yitzchok Schwartz ah, known affectionately as Schwartzie,

was a successful and greatly admired shliach. He became an icon to
thousands of young Jews who considered him a role model. * With his
colorful suspenders and shirts and unique approach, he won the hearts
of thousands of Jews and drew them closer to their Father in heaven. * A
portrait of a colorful shliach.

By Moshe Shlomo

16 19 Adar 5777

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 SOUL SAVIOR
WITH A SMILE

Issue 1061 17

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 Obituary
I
t was 5772, said a
middle-aged woman
who is close with the
family of the shliach,
and my mother, who was very far
from anything religious, wanted
very much to participate in the Yom
Kippur services. The local temple
charged a lot of money for a ticket
to the services, but our financial
situation wasnt great at the time.
My mother had no choice but to
give up on the idea and manage
with a virtual Yom Kippur service
on the videos she hoped to find on
the Internet.
Erev Yom Kippur, a few
hours before Yom Tov, my
mother was sitting in her living
room and reading the local
paper. She noticed an ad with the
heading: Come to the synagogue
that doesnt want your money!
Dont pay to pray! Chai Center.
My mother jumped at the
opportunity, and since then has
been a steady member of the
Chai Center. From that Musaf
that was full of Jewish content
and Chassidic fervor, developed
a deep connection between my
family and the Schwartz family,
a bond that has continued till
today.
The day after Yom Kippur,
Rabbi Shlomo Schwartz came
to put up mezuzos in our home.
I still remember what Schwartzie
said at Musaf, a story that I heard
from him on many occasions
because it was a story he loved to
tell:
A Jew arrives up Above and
they start judging him for all he
did. Due to his many sins, he was
sent to Gehinom, but then an
angel dashed over who stopped
the proceedings and said, This
Jew once tossed two dollars at a
beggar! Will he go to Gehinom
for this?! His fellow angels told
him, Give him back his two
dollars and let him move on! R
18 19 Adar 5777
1061_bm_eng.indd 18
R Shlomo Yitzchok Schwartz
as a young man
Shlomo finished his story with
a big smile and said, this is not
how Hashem operates. When
a Jew does a mitzva, even the
smallest, easiest one, he ignites
an eternal light that can never be
extinguished, a light that remains
with him wherever he goes.
BEGINNINGS
Rabbi Shlomo Yitzchok
Schwartz, the son of a popular
cantor, R Moshe and his wife
Esther, was born in Atlantic City,
New Jersey in 1946. His parents
survived the Holocaust and at
the end of the war arrived in
the US with two small children.
There, they began life anew.
But it was in the United States
that tragedy struck. Their son
Shmuli, ten years old, was riding
his bike when a car hit him and
killed him. This fatal car accident
severely affected his mother. She
was not able to deal with the loss
and suffered a deep depression.
The parents went to many
doctors to try and find relief for
her. Finally, one top psychiatrist
suggested that despite her older
age, she should bring another
child into the world. The joy
he would bring would help her
recover from the death of her
son.
They had another son whom
they named Shlomo Yitzchok,
and he did indeed bring much
joy to their home. Esther slowly
began to recover from the
tragedy.
Shlomo was very interested
in mysticism, Chassidus
and Kabbala, and when he
was nineteen he left Yeshiva
University for Tomchei Tmimim
in Morristown. His bond and love
for the Rebbe were very strong.
He was devoted heart and soul to
every word the Rebbe uttered.
At the age of 23 he married
his wife Alte Shula Deitsch
ah. They joined the shlichus
revolution in California where
he was appointed as a shliach
at UCLA. This campus Chabad
House was the first of its kind.
When Rabbi Shlomo Cunin
was first starting the spiritual
renewal in California, he asked
the Rebbe several times whether
to open institutions like a shul or
kosher dining hall, but the Rebbe
said no. When he suggested
opening a Chabad House on
campus that would be run by
Rabbi Shlomo Schwartz, the
Rebbe gave his blessing and that
is how the first Chabad mosad
opened in California.
A few years after he married,
his wife suddenly passed away
and he was left with little children
to raise. Despite the great pain,
he did not break. He married a
second time, to his wife Olivia,
and continued with his holy
work.
For thirteen years, R
Shlomo ran the Chabad House
at UCLA. He was a familiar
figure throughout the campus.
Everyone knew the rabbi with
the colorful suspenders. He
2017-03-14 6:56:57 AM
 would stand at his spot in the
campus square for hours, just to
meet Jewish students. He would
welcome them with a big smile
and a big heart and offer tfillin
or just a short conversation.
A few years later, he opened
his own organization called the
Chai Center, which he ran from
his home in Mar Vista. Every
Shabbos, he and his family
hosted dozens of guests. Any Jew
who visited the West Coast knew
about the Shabbos experience at
the Schwartz family. It made no
difference what your background
was.

THE ASSIMILATION
Schwartzies mivtzaim table at the university
EPIDEMIC

Along with his tremendous
ahavas Yisroel, R Shlomo stood
firmly on his principles. When he
met a young man who was dating
a non-Jew, or vice versa, gone
were the smiles. On this issue he
made no allowances for anyone.
A Jew dating a goy? Absolutely
not! G-d forbid!
His son, R Mendel, told
us that he often had the same
conversation with his father in
which he tried to understand
from where his father derived the
strength to break up a couple?
R Shlomo always had the same
answer. I am not afraid, because
according to the unequivocal
instructions I got from the Rebbe,
I know that although in the short
run, it looks like I offended them,
in the long run, I saved them,
because a shidduch between a
Jew and a goy will ultimately
fail.
My father would take the
time to explain this concept
to people from a statistical
standpoint. He was not afraid to
say this upfront: You are going to
fail.
When I would ask my father
When the doctor heard this, he screamed at him,
How can you listen to some rabbi who never
even saw the patient? But R Shlomo insisted. Thanks
to his uncompromising belief in the Rebbe, his father
merited to live many more years.
why he took this on as his lifes shidduchim and was mesader
work, he would answer: I see that kiddushin at the most weddings
we are shrinking and assimilation in the course of his shlichus (in
has become accepted. More addition, he prevented dozens
and more Jews are marrying of intermarriages). His friends
non-Jews. This affects me very say that wherever they travel
deeply. in the world, when people hear
But Schwartzie did not suffice they come from California, they
with warnings. He worked immediately ask, Do you know
tirelessly to help young men Schwartzie? And often add,
and women marry within their He married me off to my wife!
people. He arranged Shabbos
meals for singles and devoted A shliach close to R Shlomo
days and nights so that Jews said that several years ago he had
would marry Jews. His success to visit R Shlomo for various
was formidable. One often heard reasons, and that Shabbos, as
him say that the reason his soul usual, R Shlomo organized
came to a body was to prevent a Shabbaton for singles and
assimilation within the Jewish addressed them on the topic of
people. This is why I was assimilation. Later on, said
created, he would say. the shliach, R Shlomo told me
R Shlomo is known as one of that he needed chizuk in this
the shluchim who made the most matter since a popular Jewish

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 Obituary
I observed everything that was going on in order
to learn the tricks of the trade. However, the
greatest lesson that I learned that Friday night was that
the secret to Schwartzie was that he had no tricks. His only
gimmick was to be real. His inner simple truth together
with his Chassidic joy conquered peoples hearts.
newspaper had recently come
out against him for saying certain
things on this subject. R Shlomo
was afraid that, G-d forbid, he
would weaken in this matter and
he asked me to encourage him
because, as he said, this was the
reason his neshama came down
to a body.
After the meal, I advised him
that we learn together a maamer
of the Rebbe, and we opened the
weekly Dvar Malchus and began
learning the maamer printed
that week; I think it was VAta
Tetzaveh. We did not finish it
that night, so we continued the
next morning before Shacharis.
In that booklet, the editors
included letters from the Rebbe
and in a letter printed that week,
the Rebbe writes to a Chassid
that he is forbidden from being
fazed by what they write about
him in the newspapers and he
should continue his holy work.
R Shlomo farbrenged about
this for the rest of the Shabbos:
Az mehn lerent adurch ah gantze
maamer un mehn horovet oif
dem, entfert dir der Rebbe. (If you
learn through an entire maamer
of the Rebbe and you toil over
it, the Rebbe answers you.)
That was the nature of the bond
between R Shlomo and the Nasi
HaDor, a deep hiskashrus like
that of a son to his father.
Many Chassidim speak of the
sight of the Chassid who would
stand and look at the Rebbe for
long moments. R Shlomo would
not manage to get a word out of
20 19 Adar 5777
1061_bm_eng.indd 20
his mouth. He would just stand
and look, stand and cry.
QUICK RECOVERY
In honor of his sixtieth
birthday, R Shlomo farbrenged
with the students of the Smicha
program in Los Angeles, where
he told the following story:
In the year 5725, his father
the chazzan, R Moshe, became
very ill. R Shlomo was learning
in 770 at the time, and he
approached the Rebbe in Gan
Eden HaTachton (the hallway
outside the Rebbes room)
and asked for a blessing for a
complete recovery. He mentioned
his fathers name along with the
name of his fathers mother, but
the Rebbe asked him to repeat
the name a few times.
Afterward, the Rebbe asked,
Moshe from Atlantic City?
When R Shlomo answered
in the affirmative, the Rebbe
blessed his father with a quick
recovery. Additionally, the Rebbe
instructed that they give his
father a blood transfusion as this
was needed for him to recover.
R Shlomo immediately
contacted the doctor and passed
along the instruction. When the
doctor heard this, he screamed
at him, How can you listen to
some rabbi who never even saw
the patient? R Shlomo insisted
and warned the doctor that if
he waited until he personally
came from New York, it would
be too late. Thanks to his
uncompromising belief in the
Rebbe, his father merited to live
many more years, and dance at
his own sons wedding a year
later.
Beyond being of good
character and having a generous
spirit, R Shlomo also served as
a role model and inspiration for
other shluchim. This can be seen
from the memorial words written
by his good friend R Asi Spiegel
from Tzfas:
It was when I was visiting
California, and I got the
opportunity to spend a Shabbos
with Schwartzie. Is the shul far
from here? I asked. This was
after the women lit candles and
the smells of the Shabbos food
filled the house, which was set up
for about fifty guests. We daven
on the porch, there is a beautiful
view from there, he answered
with a smile.
When I realized that we were
about to start davening Kabbalas
Shabbos without a minyan, I
couldnt contain myself and
asked Schwartzie what was going
on. Why couldnt we just wait for
all the guests that were supposed
to be coming? Schwartzie then
gave me my first lesson of the
many that I received from him,
as he patiently explained to me
what I had never understood
previously, There are Jews
who cannot be invited for
Shabbos services. They simply
will not come. They do not feel
comfortable with their Jewish
identity, and really do not want to
come to pray in a synagogue. The
only way to reach them is invite
them for the Shabbos meals.
Only in that way is it possible to
awaken their Jewish spark. Dont
worry, they will soon arrive for
kiddush, he concluded, and
began to sing Kabbalas Shabbos
in his distinctive voice.
It was the year 1990, after a
2017-03-14 6:56:57 AM
 few good years in 770 of standing
on the benches opposite the
Rebbe, and I traveled to Nepal
on shlichus. I was then a young
yeshiva student, innocent and
especially lacking in experience as
far as spreading the wellsprings.
On that shlichus to Southeast
Asia, I encountered firsthand the
tremendous challenges of life on
shlichus. When I returned to the
USA, I felt that I needed to get
a better understanding of how
things worked in the field. What
is the secret of the tremendous
success of the shluchim? How
does one go about it? I decided
to look for answers on the West
Coast, in California.
It was at the Chabad House
in S. Francisco that I heard
the name Schwartzie for the
first time. The shliach there,
R Yosef Langer, told me, If
you want to understand how to
reach assimilated Jews, those
Jews completely uninterested
in Judaism, you need to meet
Schwartzie. R Langers eyes tried to avoid calling attention
were agleam and he kept me
spellbound with stories of the
Shabbos events and other events
that he and Schwartzie would
arrange together in the Chabad
House in Berkeley. I got the
message that Schwartzie was
a living legend and I made my
pilgrimage to Los Angeles.
Los Angeles is the most
glamorous city in the United
States. It is the epicenter of
entertainment production in the
fields of film and music, and
many people dream of finding
fame and fortune in this city. It
is a city that creates and inspires
dreams. It is not for naught that
it is called the city of angels.
In brief, Los Angeles is the world
capital of materialism, the
lowest of the low.
Amid all this hullabaloo,
in which everybody is in
1061_bm_eng.indd 21
competition with the next
guy, I discovered the home of
Schwartzie which was the exact
opposite of everything around it.
A simple Chassidic home. Simple
in the material sense, but far
from simple in the spiritual sense.
What transpired in that home
was deep. Very deep.
At this point in time,
almost fifty years have passed
since Schwartzie went to Los
Angeles. We have a hard time
even imagining how Jewish Los
Angeles looked in those days.
In that period, kosher food was
hard to come by, and to see a Jew
with a beard and a yarmulke was
a rarity. Even the few religious
Jews around did not have the
chutzpa to take open pride
in their Judaism. To put tfillin
on in the street? To put up a
sukka in the middle of the city?
No Jew even dreamed of doing
such things. The Jews that lived
in Los Angeles (and throughout
the US) hid their Jewishness and
to themselves. The job of the
shluchim was to change all that,
and Schwartzie was one of the
trailblazers responsible for the
tremendous changes wrought by
the shluchim in California.
Schwartzie was the right man
in the right place, and with great
talent he knew how to awaken
the Jewish spark hidden deep
down inside. There are geniuses
in mathematics and there are
geniuses in science. Schwartzie
was a genius in bringing Jews
closer. With his unique and free
flowing patter and his permanent
loving smile, he conquered hearts
and taught thousands of Jews to
lift up their heads.
R Asi continues:
Even on that memorable
Friday night, Schwartzie was
happy and full of good humor. He
deftly ran the Shabbos table, and
THE SIX DAY WAR
During the days leading up to the
Six Day War, the situation in Eretz
Yisroel was very depressed, especially
for students from abroad. Most yeshiva
students began to leave for their
homes in America, England and other
countries.
R Shlomo and his friends who were
then learning in Toras Emes, merited
to receive a telegram from the Rebbe,
instructing them to remain in the Holy
Land, despite the situation.
The national newspaper Maariv
even publicized the letter in the hopes
of raising the spirits of the residents of
Eretz Yisroel. Foreign yeshiva students
from other yeshivos showed the Rebbes
letter to their Litvishe Roshei Yeshiva,
who often responded that they could
not take such a responsibility upon
themselves, but the Lubavitcher Rebbe
has broad shoulders.
BH
13 Iyar 5727
Brooklyn
To the young men, the students,
Ives, Langsam, Rodal, Schwartz
shyichyu,
Shalom UBracha!
Enclosed is a copy of the wording
of the telegram that Kvod Kdushas
Admur Shlita sent them today!
(Free translation)
In answer to their telegram
they should learn with diligence and
industriousness along with all the
students, and surely, surely, He will
not slumber and will not sleep the
Watcher of Yisroel, and they will report
good news.
Menachem Schneersohn
Issue 1061 21
2017-03-14 6:56:57 AM
 Obituary
There are geniuses in mathematics and there
are geniuses in science. Schwartzie was a genius
in bringing Jews closer. With his unique and free flowing
patter and his permanent loving smile, he conquered
hearts and taught thousands of Jews to lift up their
heads.
I observed everything that was
going on in order to learn the
tricks of the trade. However, the
greatest lesson that I learned that
Friday night was that the secret
to Schwartzie was that he had no
tricks. His only gimmick was to
be real. His inner, simple truth
together with his Chassidic joy
conquered peoples hearts.
Schwartzie never put up
a building and he never had
funding. He was not in it for
publicity. Despite the fact that
he knew many Hollywood stars
and many wealthy Jews turned
to him for advice, money did not
interest him. He would hold High
Holiday services every year in a
giant rented hall, and he would
publish announcements that said,
Come to the synagogue that
does not want your money!
Schwartzie never had money
and he didnt have the time to
waste sitting at board meetings.
He simply met with people from
morning to night. He spoke and
listened. Listened and advised.
And all of it with love and a lot
of joy. With the tremendous and
burning love that he felt for the
Jewish people, he would stand
on campus, talk to students,
smile at them, listen to them, put
tfillin on them, and invite them
to Shabbos meals and Torah
classes. That is how, without any
strategic thinking or long-range
planning or public relations, he
touched thousands, even tens of
thousands.
On Friday nights, his
22 19 Adar 5777
1061_bm_eng.indd 22
simple home would host a wild
assortment of different types, and
even when the house was filled
to capacity, somehow there was
room for more people. During
the meal, when everybody was
already seated, the door would
open again and again and more
guests would enter. There was
always room for all of them.
SHARED REMEMBRANCES
AT THE SHIVA
During the Shiva, many
hundreds of Jews of all stripes
came to pay their respects. These
were people who in some way or
another came under the influence
of R Shlomo, whether during
their college days, or at the large
Shabbos meals that he hosted,
or at one of the gatherings and
events that he would organize.
Many came to express their
gratitude to the Schwartz family
for the changes that R Shlomo
wrought in their lives. There were
Jews of every denomination and
affiliation, some who met him
during his visits to Tzfas, some
who participated in his Kabbalah
classes, as well as those who
had been visitors to his home in
California, whether for a Shabbos
meal, a class, or just to visit and
hear an uplifting word from
Schwartzie delivered with his
trademark smile. Each one came
with his or her story, but the
common thread that ran through
all the stories was the feeling that
he imparted to each one, the love,
the attention, the warmth.
Many university students that
he had interacted with over the
years also came to visit, each with
their own story of how, where
and when, they encountered
the rabbi with the unique hats
and the shirts emblazoned with
Jewish messages.
Although there were many
exceptional stories, one that stood
out was the story of Michael
Medved, a well-known television
and radio personality, who spoke
of his connection to Judaism and
Chabad, which began thanks to
R Shlomo Schwartz:
It was in 1971, and at
the time I was a graduate of
Yale University and worked
as a speechwriter for several
high ranking political figures.
One could say that throughout
my childhood, I was given a
Conservative Jewish education,
but in actual practice, except for
fasting on Yom Kippur, Judaism
was not practiced in our home.
One time, when I was
visiting back home in S. Diego,
I met my Uncle Moshe, who
although not religious at all, was
very interested in the topic of
the Jewish religion. One day he
informed me that he and I would
be attending an event entitled
Evening With Chabad. I was
not at all interested, but my uncle
insisted, saying that Chabad was
one of the last surviving remnants
of Orthodox Judaism, I want you
to see what this demographic is
like before it disappears entirely.
During the event, I went
out to the lobby for a break,
and among the hundreds that
were milling about, the bearded
rabbi chose to approach me. He
came over to me and offered
me to put on tfillin. I had no
idea what tfillin are and what
importance is attached to them.
After a brief explanation by the
2017-03-14 6:56:57 AM
 rabbi, I declined to put them on.
The rabbi then said to me, You
look to me like someone who
cares about the welfare of Eretz
Yisroel. When I answered in the
affirmative, he continued and
said, If you really care, put them
on in their merit. Here is where
the rabbi got me. I had friends
and relatives that lived in Eretz
Yisroel at that time, and I really
cared about the welfare of the
Jews there, so I agreed to put on
the tfillin.
I dont know what it was,
but I felt that I was actually doing
something special and that a
change was happening inside
me. The very next day, I asked
my uncle for his tfillin, and I am
sure I can say that since that day
I never missed a day of putting
on tfillin. A year later, after the
passing of my Uncle Moshe,
I added Shabbos observance,
which I keep to this day.
Today, Michael Medved has
observant grandchildren, and he
is one of a long list of Jews that
R Shlomo succeeded in touching
their souls and affecting a drastic
change in their lives.
Many spoke of how because
of a smile that R Shlomo threw
their way, they decided to change
their plans of marrying outside
of the faith. He was a traveling
tzaddik, says Mr. Scott Jacobs,
a friend of the family. He took
the deep approach of Chabad
and succeeded in conveying it to
thousands in the most simple and
digestible way.
The Hillel rabbi at the
university where R Shlomo
served as a shliach for thirteen
years, Rabbi Chaim Feller, had
this to say, People will say a
lot of things about him. Some
will come and say that he was
different or strange, and he
actually was unusual, different
than others. Very different than
1061_bm_eng.indd 23
the image of a shliach that I was
familiar with. But what made
him truly unique was the fact
that he succeeded in bringing
close hundreds if not thousands
to Yiddishkait. The charm that
shot from his eyes, the love for
every Jew simply for being the
progeny of Avrohom, Yitzchok
and Yaakov, a love that cannot
be understood by others, this is a
love that you dont regularly see
by every rabbi or even shliach; he
simply accepted every single Jew.
R Shlomo did not project
an image of being a big rabbi, he
did not give lengthy speeches, he R Shlomo Yitzchok Schwartz at a family simcha
did not give over deep exegetical
analyses. Despite his tremendous cover. Even they recognized and
knowledge of a given topic, he understood what this meant to
always chose to convey it in him.
the simplest terms, and most
Until his final moments, the
importantly with love.
words that were constantly on
His son and successor in his lips were shlichus, Rebbe
shlichus, R Mendel, describes and Moshiach. He was always
his fathers work as a shliach, concerned about how to better
You could see on my father his add and improve, and he was
devotion to shlichus, twenty-four never satisfied. He constantly
hours a day. His second son, looked for ways to do more and
R Moshe, shliach in Boston, more and to advance as much as
adds, Beyond the colorful shirts possible.
and funny hats that he wore,
In the cemetery in Tzfas, there
my father was mekushar to the
lay many prominent rabbis and
Rebbe and shlichus with every
great tzaddikim. On the Friday
fiber of his being.
of Shabbos Shira, the day before
Tu BShvat, they were joined by a
A SHLIACH TILL unique individual, a true Chassid
THE VERY END and mekushar to the Rebbe with
all his heart and soul
R Shlomo did not abandon
his shlichus even during his final That doctor who had advised
days, as he lay in the hospital his parents to bring another
completely detached from his child into the world could never
surroundings. On his table have envisioned that Schwartzie
would come to the world to
was a copy of the weekly Dvar
not only bring cheer to his
Malchus, a yarmulke with the
mother, but also to bring joy
Chai Center emblem, and the
to and bring closer thousands
newest copies of Beis Moshiach
of Jews. His birth symbolized
which he enjoyed reading on
his lifes mission, to make Jews
Shabbos afternoons. The doctors
happy, to extract them from the
and nurses on staff in the hospital
sadness of exile, and to bring
were impressed by the sight of
the world closer to the Ultimate
the magazines which proudly
Redemption.
display the Rebbes picture on the
Issue 1061 23
2017-03-14 6:56:58 AM
 PROFILE
TO GIVE
THANKS
AND PRAISE
HOUSE OF CHESED
Aviva Borodkin lives in Crown
Heights, very close to the Rebbe,
on Union Street. She works for
Rabbi Berel Lazars organization
for Russian Jews. The Borodkin
home is open to all. They have
a basement for guests, mainly
for chassanim who come to the
Rebbe before their wedding. This
is not seasonal; its all year round.
Shadchanim give the Borodkins
phone number out as a place
where those dating can stay.
The idea was her husbands,
says Aviva. When they married,
he wanted an open home. Thats
the way it is in Crown Heights,
she adds. Everyone here hosts.
Aviva came to Eretz Yisroel
for a week. I met her right before
she was traveling to Yerushalayim
where she was going to make a
seudas hodaa.
24 19 Adar 5777
1061_bm_eng.indd 24
PAINFUL LANDING
Last year, Aviva took her
husband to Eretz Yisroel for
his fiftieth birthday. It was his
first time in Eretz Yisroel and
of course, it was a moving
experience. However, on their
return, everything went awry.
She relates:
We returned on a Friday.
I often suffer from headaches,
but this time the headache
was unbearable. I went to a
doctor who gave me all sorts
of medication and referred
me immediately for an MRI.
It was all very quick and after
the examination, the doctor
said he found a tumor the size
of a clementine and I needed
immediate surgery.
It all happened a day before
Rosh Chodesh Adar I. She wrote
to the Rebbe and in the answer
Aviva
Borodkin
of Crown
Heights tells
us of personal
miracles she
experienced
this past year.
By Meital Sidon
she opened to it was about a
19 Kislev farbrengen and the
story of the events of the arrest
and Geula, about how the Alter
Rebbe was moser nefesh for the
study of Chassidus and about
the importance of bringing
people to learn Chassidus. There
was nothing in the letter about
healing.
I did not see any connection
to my head, says Aviva. I did
not understand it but I know
that the Rebbe always gives an
answer.
TO SEE THE GOOD
In Crown Heights, the
Russian Nshei Chabad get
together every month, each
time in someone elses house.
That month, they had asked in
advance that the farbrengen be
held in Avivas house. The day
2017-03-14 6:56:59 AM
 after she got the medical news,
she hosted a Rosh Chodesh
Adar I farbrengen for about forty
women.
Mrs. Sara Tova Best led the
farbrengen. She spoke about the
month of Adar and how as Jews
we are happy people, and how
simcha transforms things for the
good, vnahapoch hu.
I remember that she said that
even if a glass breaks, a Jew says,
mazal tov. The message of the
farbrengen was that we always
need to see the good and always
need to be happy, especially in
the month of Adar when it is
possible to transform everything
for the good.
This message got to me
and to a certain extent, I calmed
down, though not completely,
she admits. But I stopped being
afraid of the surgery.
FIGHT FOR LIFE
The surgery took place on
4 Adar II. She had an excellent
surgeon and boruch Hashem, all
went well. When she was in the
hospital, she wasnt alone for
more than twenty minutes. Her
husband and children were at
her side. Hashem showed me
how much He loves me and how
much the people around me love
me.
Its not that I am happy
about what happened, but I got
to see this love from Hashem,
my family, and those close to
me, including the best guests in
the world who prayed for me. I
am sure Hashem listened to their
prayers.
After a few days, Aviva
returned home and her daughter
and son-in-law, who live in
Eretz Yisroel, came to help in
her recovery. One day, she did
not feel well again and she had
a fever. She went to the doctor
1061_bm_eng.indd 25
who sent her to the hospital.
I had picked up a powerful
infection. I was hospitalized for
two and a half weeks in which
they tried to save my life. It was a
terrible ordeal!
A week went by and still
there was no improvement in her
condition. In fact, things were
only getting worse, as the doctors
struggled to battle on three
different fronts, in the blood,
the stomach and the digestive
system.
During those days, I could
not daven and could barely think.
But suddenly I had the idea to
check the mezuzos, even though
we are very particular to check
When the sofer opened the mezuza, it crumbled
in his hands. Her son was in shock as he had
never seen such a thing. However, once the mezuzos
were changed it was clear to them that things would
start to get better and that is exactly what happened.
them every Chodesh Elul. She
called her eldest son and asked
him to take all the mezuzos in the
house to be checked.
When the sofer opened the
mezuza for the front door it
crumbled in his hands. The
mezuza from the bedroom
was also problematic and they
exchanged that one as well. Her
son was in shock as he had never
seen such a thing. However, once
the mezuzos were changed it was
clear to them that things would
start to get better and that is
exactly what happened.
I COULD NEVER IMAGINE
Meanwhile, Pesach was fast
approaching and one can only
imagine what the situation was
like. I am a mother to thirteen
children, Boruch Hashem.
Before the operation, I sat with
my seventeen-year-old daughter
and made a plan with her about
what needed to be done, what
to buy and when, how and when
to clean. She made Pesach, the
whole thing, along with studying
for her tests, and she did it
happily. Once again, I saw how
Hashem is with me and how
much my children love me.
After recovering somewhat
in the hospital, Aviva went to the
Eshel hotel for more rest. She
wanted to look and feel more
normal before returning home.
The first time she stood once
again to daven was on Rosh
Chodesh Sivan. She felt well,
tired and happy.
Before Shavuos I went
outside for the first time. It was
a holiday for me but people who
saw me were afraid to look at me.
I didnt look like myself, I was
swollen. But it was at that time
that I began to get back to myself
somewhat.
TO THANK HASHEM FOR
THE MIRACLES
Last Tishrei, like every other
Tishrei, they had guests, forty-
fifty people whom she took care
of, serving, setting up, cooking
As far as Im concerned,
Continued on page 32
Issue 1061 25
2017-03-14 6:57:01 AM
 FEATURE

CHASSIDIC
COACHING?
Coaching has become popular in enabling people
to achieve success, but is it suitable for Chassidim?
* Rabbi Mordechai Rottenstein, consultant and
therapist, Rabbi Zalman Notik, mashpia, and
Rebbetzin Rochel Kenig, mashpia and coach,
respond to questions on this topic.

COACHING R Notik considers personal as potentially advantageous with

TOOL OR GOAL?
Personal trainers or coaches
have been appearing all over the
place. We wanted to hear what
mashpiim think about this. We
will preface this by saying that
the mashpiim we spoke with
emphasized that their knowledge
of the subject is based on reports
from people who tried it, and
other sources, but not from
firsthand knowledge.
coaching as a tool that can be
used both in a positive and a
negative way:
The question, as it is with
everything, is whether coaching
is being used as a helpful tool
in avodas Hashem. It must be a
tool used to be more effective
in carrying out the Rebbes
instructions and not something
that turns people away from what
he said.
R Rottenstein sees coaching
some potential big downsides as
well:
The coaches usually promise
lots of future success. A person
has goals, things he wants to
accomplish, but he doesnt always
manage to do them. Personal
trainers help him do them. The
good part about personal training
is that they give a person goals
and provide him with the tools to
achieve them. The disadvantage
is that the motivation to do so is

26 19 Adar 5777

1061_bm_eng.indd 26 2017-03-14 6:57:01 AM

 that I am going to succeed.
Most people use a coach in
order to become successful, and
the coach reinforces this idea. As
Chassidim, this is problematic. A
Chassid wants Hashem to make
him successful, and does not
emphasize the self.
Trust in Hashem is positive;
trust in self originates in klipa!
The Rebbe explains that when a
Jew has trust in Hashem, then
Hashem your G-d will bless
you in everything that you do
- everything includes even the
mistakes that you make which
contain great blessings, because
the doing is only a tool, a cover.
In a workshop for the staff
of a certain yeshiva, they spoke
about a gifted bachur who lacked
self-confidence. I asked them, If
I were to tell you to send him to a
psychologist for two months and
he will come back with plenty of
self-confidence, would you send
him? Would that be a success?
They considered it and
concluded yes. I asked, But
what about the my strength and
the power of my hand that you
provided him with? They said it
was indeed a problem but there
was no choice. I explained to
them that there was no point in
having the bachur go from feeling
inadequate to feeling arrogant,
for arrogance compensates
for feeling inferior and feeling
inferior is frustrated pride.
Why shouldnt we teach
him to trust in Hashem to help
him? I asked. The maggid shiur
said, Do you think a bachur will
understand that and it will help
him? I said, When the teacher
understands it, the student will
internalize it too.
Rebbetzin Rochel Kenig,
mashpia and coach, agrees that it
all depends on the coach:
Obviously, when the coach
is a Chassid, its a Chassidish
1061_bm_eng.indd 27
Rabbi Zalman Notik
hashpaa, and when he or she is
not, you shouldnt be coached by
him/her!
Becoming aware of ones
weaknesses can lead in two
directions. Either the person
is focused on himself and busy
with his problems, i.e., ego. Or
he is aware of his strengths and
weaknesses is in touch with
himself and knows that he is not
the source of his strengths, but
it is all from Hashem. This leads
to gratitude. At the same time,
he sees his faults and works to
correct them. The person who
is focused on himself knows
his weaknesses and does not
accept them. The one who is in
touch with himself accepts his
weaknesses and figures out how
to fix them.
A coach must be Chassidish
and help to connect the mentees
entire sense of self to Hashem.
The difference between these two
approaches to coaching is huge.
are more successful than you.
COACH VS. MASHPIA
Does having a personal
coach fulfill the Rebbes request
to have a mashpia?
R Notik: As a student of
Tomchei Tmimim, I know that a
person should not have his own
desires. There are the Rebbes
desires to which we submit with
joy. If coaches help someone to
better carry out what the Rebbe
said, its good. But if it means
replacing the mashpia and
helping the person adapt to the
big, enlightened world, then it
is completely unacceptable.
R Rottenstein: A Chassidishe
mashpia will not encourage self-
aggrandizement or pride in order
to succeed. Structure and self-
discipline are good, but lets get
them from the yeshiva and the
mashpia and not from a personal
trainer.
A Chassid needs to set himself
goals: to get up in the morning,
to go to the mikva, to learn
Chassidus before davening. These
are the types of things for which
it is good to train! In most cases
though, turning to a coach comes
from the desire to feel better
about yourself. Who said it has to
be easy?
One time I was saying
goodbye to R Mendel Futerfas
and he said, Mordechai, bracha
vhatzlacha.
I said, Amen.
He said, Why did you say
amen?
I said, Because you blessed
me.
He looked at me and asked,
Do you understand what I
blessed you with?
I said, I guess not.
He said, When you use
your brains and talents and are
successful, although you are
successful, there are others who
Success is an American ideal,
where success is measured
by a diploma. That is why I
did not say hatzlacha, but
bracha vhatzlacha. When you
make all possible mistakes and
nevertheless see blessing in what
Issue 1061 27
2017-03-14 6:57:02 AM
 Feature
Rebbetzin Rochel Kenig: Most people are not
aware of their strengths and value. It is like
someone who gets a gift and puts it in the closet without
seeing whats inside. Hashem gave us strengths to reveal,
and with the proper gratitude and through coaching we
enrich the world with our gifts.
you did, that is real bracha. And
if you are successful, why do you
take the credit? You fool, its not
you, its Hashem! And if its hard
for you, why are you screaming?
Its not you, its Hashem!
R Mendel concluded, Bracha
vhatzlacha.
Again, I said, Amen.
R Mendel said, Now you
answer amen! Work on this and
the amen will be more genuine.
But the Rebbe encourages us
to make use of our talents for
avodas Hashem?
Rebbetzin Kenig: We see in
coaching a way to reveal ones
abilities. The Rebbe Rayatz said
that a Jew is a lamplighter and his
job is to light up his surroundings.
However, when his lantern is
extinguished, how will he be a
source of light? This is why a
person must know his strengths
and then he can give off light to
others.
There is an amazing letter
from the Rebbe dated 25 Elul
5718 in which he asks that
everyone know their abilities. Our
job is to reveal the treasure within
us and bring it to its realization.
Most people are not aware of
their strengths and value. There
is lots of self-criticism and lack of
self-worth and its a pity that their
strengths are not utilized. It is
like someone who gets a gift and
puts it in the closet without seeing
whats inside. Hashem gave us
strengths to reveal, and with the
28 19 Adar 5777
1061_bm_eng.indd 28
proper gratitude and through
coaching we enrich the world
with our gifts.
R Rottenstein emphasizes:
The talents are not ours. Hashem
gifted them to us. When a person
recognizes this, there is no
arrogance (I am a success) and
no feeling of inferiority (I am
worthless), as the Mitteler Rebbe
explains in a maamer that true
humility is the lack of feeling self.
Generally, in personal coaching,
the person is given yeshus (a
sense of self-importance), the
opposite of what Chassidus
demands. I do not know any
coaches who approach things
from bittul; I only know one such
framework and that is Tomchei
Tmimim.
Today, with the proliferation
of Lubavitcher coaches, there are
probably some exceptions, and
Rebbetzin Kenig seems to be one
of them, because as she sums it
up:
There is no, I am going to
succeed, but I thank Hashem
and use my abilities in order
to bring them out in the world
because it is not about me; its all
about Hashem. One of the first
assignments that I give is to be
aware of ones abilities and then
after Modeh Ani and before
HaMapil to say: Thank you
Hashem for giving me ... This
is a basic exercise that enables a
person to be in touch with himself
from a place of humility and
not with the sense of I created
myself.
If a person runs into a
difficulty, would you recommend
a coach?
R Notik: It depends on the
difficulty and who is the coach.
If a person has guidance from the
Rebbe that he is not succeeding
in implementing in his daily life,
and the coach develops a new
day plan for him and helps him
reach a higher level of fulfilling
the instruction - this is positive
and good. But if the coach is not
coming from a place of Chassidus
and hiskashrus, i.e., how to more
effectively carry out the Rebbes
instructions, then this is a form
of idolatry and will end up coming
at the expense of following the
instructions of the Rebbe.
Of course, for a Chassid
whose mashpia refers him to
a coach to help him progress
in carrying out the Rebbes
instructions, this is good.
Rebbetzin Kenig addresses
the question of confronting
challenges, to know that no evil
descends from Above, and to see
how it is possible to grow from a
place of weakness:
A girl in shidduchim contacted
me about a complicated situation.
I asked that she find ten proofs
that the situation was the best
thing for her.
I always relate strongly to the
Dvar Malchus of Shmos 5751
where it quotes the Midrash
that the names of the tribes are
mentioned when they descend
to Egypt because they allude to
the future Geula as they enter
exile. The Rebbe explains that the
descent is part of the ascent. This
awareness helps keep the process
on a totally Chassidic plane.
When a person is having
difficulties, one of the amazing
tools we have in coaching is to
have the person bring up the root
cause in their consciousness, to
2017-03-14 6:57:02 AM
 properly identify the core of the
problem. At the beginning, you
do so after an anger episode
when that is the problematic
issue. Then you develop the
ability to do it during an episode,
and eventually to realize it before
the anger even begins. When one
identifies what is generating all of
the problems, he learns to choose
how to react ahead of time.
I coached a young girl. After
just a week she felt a change.
Nobody is living in delusion that
the problem disappeared but the
process began, and she could see
progress and this made it easier
for her.
With coaching, you can do
incredible work on your middos
and there are results!
Can personal coaching
be helpful for, or a part of,
preparing for shlichus?
R Notik: I think that 80
percent of those who went on
shlichus, if they would have
consulted with a coach, would
not have gone, because the
coach would have said, You are
talented and you are not suited to
run after kids on the street and
convince them to say a bracha
on a candy. You are a chevraman
with talents for organization and
big things and you should live in
a big city, not a quiet place with
just a minyan of Jews; you should
be a rav in a big city, etc.
It is not necessarily the case
that ones personal G-dly mission
comports with actualizing
innate abilities, and sometimes
a persons place of shlichus is
the place Hashem designated for
him, as in the story with R Yosef
whom the Alter Rebbe turned into
a wagon driver for the sake of
one Jew! If he would have asked a
coach, he would not have become
a wagon driver
Rebbetzin Kenig thinks
otherwise: If shluchim would
1061_bm_eng.indd 29
Rabbi Mordechai Rottenstein
consult with a coach, it would
make things a lot easier for them.
A woman with a husband and
children, a home, shlichus and
a career, and who is running in
every direction, comes to me
shattered.
The coach takes all the
elements of life and classifies
them according to importance,
capacities, and what and how
much to invest in each area. This
is a healing process for an entire
family, in body and in soul!
There is a woman who works
and neglects her marriage, or
a dynamic shliach who is not
partnering with his wife. After
Pesach, having served hundreds
of people, she feels like a maid.
True, he was preoccupied with
the shlichus, but his wife worked
so hard and he just didnt see her.
But if the couple comes first, then
the children, and all together they
work on shlichus, then it looks
altogether different.
First build your house and
then the outside. I say this to
both men and women. Coaching
creates order.
The example of R Yosef the
wagon driver is excellent. He
conducted himself in a structured
manner, he made the attempt,
included his wife, who ended up
being a partner to his shlichus
and the one who gave him the
push. If only we were all like that!
ADVISORS IN GEULA
Are the numerous advisers
today a stage in the Geula
process?
R Notik: The yoetz (advisor)
is the mashpia and it is possible
that the coach is a Lubavitcher
who helps carry out the Rebbes
instructions, which at this
moment feel like they are beyond
your abilities. He helps adjust
them to your character, showing
you how to move forward in
fulfilling them in your personal
life. For example, to also learn
Rambam and Chitas and devote
time to the family and hafatza
and to fit that all into your
daily schedule, it is positive and
redemptive. But if the coaching is
a goal to succeed and it is about
self-actualization, that is not for
us. We were taught to put our
selves aside and not to worship
idols and actualize ourselves!
R Rottenstein: The Rebbe is
the yoetz. A Chassidishe mashpia
who is connected to the Rebbe
provides the tools so that the
assignments and the deepest
ideas are integrated.
Rebbetzin Kenig sees a direct
connection between the advisers
mentioned in the prophecies
of Geula and coaching: If it is
not Chassidishe coaching, its
not okay. Where I work, it is
sometimes a matter of saving
lives. The yoetz the Rebbe talks
about is exactly how Chassidic
coaching operates. I meet
Chassidishe couples who are
only missing that one little drop
of guidance not always is it a
protracted process. We need to
see the big picture and go out to
the Geula.
Issue 1061 29
2017-03-14 6:57:02 AM
 MOSHIACH & HAYOM YOM
THE
POWER OF
HAPPINESS
By Rabbi Gershon Avtzon
Dear Reader shyichyeh,
The month of Adar is in full
swing. Even though we already
celebrated Purim, the Simcha
of Adar is still supposed to get
stronger from day to day.
As we are still under the
influence of Purim (pun
intended), I would like to start
with a Purim-style story:
There was once a Chassid
who lived in a very non-Chassidic
town. During the month of
Adar, he was joyous, but he did
not feel that his neighbors were
really getting into the spirit of
joy. It was the opposite in the
month of mourning, the month
of Menachem Av. While everyone
was mourning and acting sad and
depressed, this Chassid seemed
to be joyous. Even on Tisha BAv
the Chassid acted in an upbeat
way.
When one of his neighbors
asked him how he can be so happy
during this time of mourning,
the Chassid replied that the way
he understands the Gemara, one
is supposed to be more joyous
on the 9th of Av than on Purim!
Seeing the shocked faces of those
assembled, our mischievous
Chassid explained: Chazal tell
30 19 Adar 5777
1061_bm_eng.indd 30
us that when the month of Adar
arrives we must add in joy. They
also tell us that when we reach the
month of Av we should diminish
our joy. It is very clear, continued
the chassid, that every day from
Rosh Chodesh Adar until Rosh
Chodesh Av, about 150 days, you
are supposed to add in joy.
Purim is only the fourteenth
day on the journey of upward
joy. Tish BAv is only nine days
into the descent after reaching
the climax of 150 days. If so, it is
equivalent to the joy on day 111
which is so much greater than the
joy of day 14
When I was doing the
research to write this article, I
was sure that there would be
many HaYom Yoms, especially
in the month of Adar, that speak
about the Avoda of Simcha. Yet,
I was surprised to see that there
is only one HaYom Yom, and not
in the month of Adar, that speaks
about the power of serving
Hashem with simcha!
The only time Simcha is
mentioned in the HaYom Yom is
in the entry for Shmini Atzeres:
Shmini Atzeres and Rosh
Hashanah are similar in terms
of certain mystical intentions
(kavanos) and Supernal
Unifications (yichudim).On
Rosh Hashanah, however,
they are framed in terms of
ascent, whereas on Shmini
Atzeres, the thrust is on drawing
Gdliness downward. On Rosh
Hashanah, our Divine service
is characterized by submissive
supplication and intense remorse;
on Shmini Atzeres, our Divine
service is in a joyful mode.
[From this it may be inferred
that what we can accomplish
in the 48 hours of contrite
remorse on Rosh Hashanah
can be equally accomplished in
the 48 hours of joy on Shmini
Atzeres and Simchas Torah.
Indeed, the Rebbe Rayatz once
cited his father, the Rebbe
Rashab, as follows: The 48
hours of Shmini Atzeres and
Simchas Torah should be dearly
cherished, for at each moment,
one can draw bucketsful and
barrelsful of treasures, both
material and spiritual. And this is
accomplished through dancing.]
I asked a Mashpia, why, in
his understanding, there is no
HaYom Yom that speaks about
the critical and central Avoda
of Simcha in our day-to-day
life. He answered brilliantly:
You missed the lesson from the
HaYom Yom of Shmini Atzeres.
2017-03-14 6:57:03 AM
 In that HaYom Yom the Rebbeim
compare Shmini Atzeres to Rosh
HaShana and teach us that what
can be accomplished on Rosh
HaShana with inner remorse
can be accomplished on Shmini
Atzeres through joy. This is
teaching us something essential
to Yiddishkait: Just as everyone
feels that every day is a small
Rosh HaShana and we want to
accomplish and bring ourselves
to accept the Malchus Shamayim,
so too every day, everyone should
know that all those things can be
accomplished through serving
Hashem with joy.
Serving Hashem with Simcha
is very much connected to
bringing Moshiach, as the Rebbe
explained on Shabbos Parshas Ki
Seitzei 5748, as follows:
The concept of simcha shares
a connection to the Future
Redemption. For it is in the Era
of the Redemption that we will
experience the consummate
level of simcha. At that time,
all undesirable influences will
be negated, as reflected in the
verse, And G-d will wipe away
tears from every face. Indeed,
all the negative influences will be
transformed into good.
This will greatly increase
the simcha we will experience,
enabling it to reach consummate
perfection. Therefore, the
returnees to Eretz Yisroel are
described as being crowned
with eternal joy. The relation
between the concepts of simcha
and Redemption is alluded to
by the fact that the roots of the
words simcha and Moshiach
share the same three letters shin
mem ches.
To explain the connection
between the two: Simcha breaks
through (poretzes in Hebrew) all
barriers. This is also the nature of
Moshiach, who is a descendant
of Peretz, and is referred to
1061_bm_eng.indd 31
as haporetz, the one who
breaks through, as it is written,
The one who breaks through
will ascend before them. For
Moshiach will break through all
barriers and limitations.
On the verse, Zion - there
are none who seek her out,
our Sages comment, This
indicates that one should seek
her out, implying that we
must demand the Redemption.
Similarly, we must seek out joy,
including the ultimate joy, the
joy of the Redemption. We must
demand that G-d grant us the
consummate joy of the Era of the
Redemption.
I, therefore, offer the
following suggestion and request:
that we increase our rejoicing
with the intent of actually
bringing Moshiach and the true
and ultimate Redemption.
Throughout the years of exile,
the Jewish people have longed
for the Redemption and prayed
for it earnestly every day. Surely
this applies to the tzaddikim, and
the nsiim of the Jewish people
who had an overwhelmingly
powerful desire for Moshiach.
Indeed, as related in the annals
of our national history, some
actually sacrificed their lives to
force Moshiach to come earlier
(although there is a specific
warning against doing so).
Nevertheless, these earlier
activities cannot be compared
to the storm for the coming of
the Redemption aroused by the
Previous Rebbe with his cry
(printed more than forty years
ago): LAlter ltshuva, LAlter on the service of G-d, and
lGeula-Immediately to tshuva;
immediately to Redemption.
And his intent with the word
immediately was simple: at
once, straight-away.
... And so, it is natural to
ask: what can we do to bring
Moshiach that has not already
been done?
In reply, it is possible to
suggest, as above, that the
Divine service necessary is the
expression of joy for the sake of
bringing Moshiach.
Simcha breaks through
barriers, including the barriers
of exile. Moreover, simcha has a
unique potential to bring about
the Redemption. As explained in
the series of discourses entitled
Samach Tisamach, although the
phrase the day of the rejoicing
of His heart is interpreted as a
reference to the building of the
Beis HaMikdash, during the First
and Second Battei HaMikdash,
G-ds happiness was not
complete. It is only in the Beis
HaMikdash to be built in the Era
of the Redemption that there will
be perfect happiness. Then the
happiness will reflect the essence
of the Ein Sof.
The maamer continues to
explain that this essential joy
can be aroused by the simcha
experienced in connection with
a mitzvah. Indeed, the simcha
reaches higher than the mitzvah
itself, precipitating the expression
of the essential joy of the Era of
the Redemption.
In previous generations,
people surely experienced
simcha in connection with their
observance of mitzvos. For
the experience of this simcha
is a fundamental element of
Divine service, as it is written,
Serve G-d with happiness.
Nevertheless, in previous
generations, the emphasis was
that service was infused with
happiness. The suggestion to
use simcha as a catalyst to bring
Moshiach, by contrast, puts
the emphasis on the simcha
itself, simcha in its pure and
consummate state.
(Needless to say, for a Jew,
Issue 1061 31
2017-03-14 6:57:03 AM
 MOSHIACH & HAYOM YOM
even this pure expression of
happiness must be connected
with his Divine service in the
Torah and its mitzvos, as it is
written, The precepts of G-d are
just, bringing joy to the heart.
Nevertheless, the emphasis is
on the simcha itself, not on the
factors which bring it about. And
this service of simcha should have
as its goal - bringing Moshiach.)
...This is within the grasp of
every individual. By meditating
on the imminence of Moshiachs
coming and the knowledge that
at that time, perfect simcha will
spread throughout the entire
world, it is possible to experience
a microcosm of this simcha at
present.
Indeed, the lengthy
Continued from page 25
being able to host means Im
back to myself! I love Tishrei. I
see how Hashem does miracles
in my kitchen. It doesnt seem
possible to cook for fifty people
but everyone enjoys it and there
is plenty, or they are polite but
they all say there is plenty and its
all delicious. This is my miracle,
that I fully recovered.
After this past Tishrei, tests
were done and the tumor did
not come back, boruch Hashem.
The doctor looked at my file
and found it hard to believe. He
and his colleagues were in shock
that this woman is alive, because
usually just one of the three
things she had is fatal. With one
of them, just 10% recover, and
there were another two bacteria
that just 50% survive. And I
had all three! The doctor looked
through the pages, looked at me,
and said, wow!
The day after the follow-up
tests, she wrote to the Rebbe
again to tell him the good news
32 19 Adar 5777
1061_bm_eng.indd 32
explanation of this concept is
not in place, deed is what is most
important. Announcements must
be made about the importance
of increasing simcha with the
intent of bringing Moshiach.
And if anyone questions the
effectiveness of this proposal,
let him put it to the test and he
will see its effectiveness. And
this simcha will surely lead to the
ultimate simcha, the rejoicing of
the Redemption, when then our
mouths will be filled with joy.
I want to end by sharing
another thought with you: This
year, not being a leap year, we
only have one month of Adar.
While that may be easier for
many - especially teachers and
students - there seems to be a
component missing: The power
and to thank him. She made a
good resolution to start learning
Chassidus, once a week, with
someone who wasnt yet learning
Chassidus. The answer she
opened to was about, shivisi
Hashem lnegdi samid, and the
Rebbe explains at length that
Hashem is omnipotent and a Jew
needs to know this wherever he is
and no matter the circumstances.
And she experienced this!
The Shabbos of the Kinus
HaShluchim, Aviva made a
seudas hodaa at which she
told of all the miracles she had
experienced. Then she went to
Eretz Yisroel for a week to attend
a wedding and to make a seudas
hodaa with her children who live
there.
SEEING THE MASTER OF
THE UNIVERSE
We will conclude with her
the revelation of Moshiach and
message which she communicates
simply and powerfully:
I strongly believe that
to nullify all negative forces
in the joy celebrated in the 60
days of Adar, as it is possible
in leap years (as the Rebbe told
us). To those that feel this lack
and emptiness, I would like to
suggest that even though we only
have 30 days of Adar this year,
we still have 60 HaYom Yoms for
the month of Adar. If we throw
ourselves into the Shishim, i.e.,
60 HaYom Yoms of the month of
Adar, we will certainly have the
Koach to nullify all negatives and
bring Moshiach!
Rabbi Avtzon is the Rosh Yeshiva
of Yeshivas Lubavitch Cincinnati and a
well sought after speaker and lecturer.
Recordings of his in-depth shiurim
on Inyanei Geula uMoshiach can be
accessed at http://www.ylcrecording.com
Hashem does everything for our
good. I tried to be happy and to
remember that simcha breaks
through boundaries.
All along the way, I reminded
myself that there are good people
who are praying for me and that
Hashem runs the world and
everything that happens in it, and
that He is certainly good and that
everything that occurs is to bring
Moshiach.
I think this is the way to
open our eyes and see the Geula;
not that I understand how it
brings Moshiach but I know that
it happens to bring Moshiach.
When we open our eyes and see
and internalize that the dira for
Hashem, i.e., the world, belongs
to Him, including all that happens
in it, this is Geula-vision.
And if this is our outlook
on life and on events that occur,
then this is what will bring about
our seeing the true and complete
Geula, immediately.
2017-03-14 6:57:03 AM
 TZIVOS HASHEM

A GIFT FOR
MOSHIACH
:

By Miri Levin

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1061
Issue, .
33
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1061_bm_eng.indd 33 , ?" 2017-03-14
6:57:04 AM?".


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 Tzivos Hashem
Before Moshiach comes,
people will be busy
the Jewish
work. The wine
with their
seller will pour a bottle of
liquor for his eager customers
and the textile seller will cut
mater ial for the merch ant
in his store. Then, sudden ly,
will be the sound
outside there
of a great commotion.
What is happening? they
will ask.
When I arrived, the street
was quiet, a customer will
shrug his shoulders, and the
merchant will run outside,
holding a piece of fabric.
On the street they will see
numerous Jews. Men, women
and children will stream in one
direction. What happened?
the customer will tug on the
sleeve of one of the passersby.
What? Didnt you hear?
the person will look at him in
wonder. Moshiach arrived!
Moshiach arrived, the
customer will whisper in
amazement.
And where is everyone
running to? He will stop one
passerby to ask.
To shul!
To grab more mitzvos. We
lack merits. The money we
amassed in business wont pave
the way for us to Moshiach.
The customer will follow the
crowd to the shul.
At the textile shop, the
owner will wait and wait. Why
didnt the customer return?
Then he will hear the sound
of a shofar from the street.
The seller will jump toward
the doorway. Moshiach has
come! he will hear, and then
he too will be off and running
to the shul. The sounds of
prayer will rent the heavens.
34 19 Adar 5777
1061_bm_eng.indd 34
The Jewish people will all do Moshiach needs your silly
teshuva. gifts? Let us give him a present
Then the cloud will appear. that is the most valuable thing
to him, a Jew! We will place
A heavenly voice will call out
this Jew in a fancy carriage
the names of a few special
and put a crown on his head,
people whose teshuva rent
and we will all hang our
the heavens and they will
crowns around him. This will
join Moshiach on the heavenly
demonstrate to Moshiach that
clouds.
we want to appease him.
Those who remain will cry
Excellent idea! all the
in regret. They will shout,
rulers will exult. There is just
What will be with us? Will
one little problem. Throughout
we remain in exile forever?
our kingdoms, did one foolish
Their cries will rise and the
Jew remain who preferred to
cloud will come back and fill up
stay in exile than to go with
with Jews whose teshuva was
Moshiach?
now accepted. Then the cloud
will make its way from exile to One Jew will remain in
exile, a wicked man, someone
Eretz Yisroel and back again,
who has no obvious connection
until all will gather with the
to his people . R Zev stared at
redeemer.
the memb ers of the delegation
And what will happen
who were hangin g on to
in the lands of the gentiles
every word he said. Do you
who will remain behind? The
know who that will be? Your
trumpeting of the Geula will
inform er. The kings will place
reverberate in their kings
him in a magnificent carriage
palaces. A tremendous fear
and put a crown on his head,
will fill their hearts. After
and lead him with great honor
we treated the Jews so badly
straight to Moshiach.
for two thousand years, their
redeemer will now come to When the kings will
take revenge on us! announce to Moshia ch that
All the kings will gather in they have a gift for him, he
will ask them, What is the
an attempt to find a solution.
gift? And they will say, A
A gift for Moshiach! That is
Jew!
how we will appease him and
he will have mercy on us and A Jew! Moshiach will
not pay us back with what we stand up from his throne
and say, A Jew is the most
deserve.
preciou s gift. Even the worst
What gift does Moshiach
Jew is more beloved to me
need? There will be many
than all the treasu res of the
opinions. A lot of gold, a rich
world.
king will say. We will bow
R Zev concluded his
humbly before him, another
with this
king, who runs after honor, fascinating tale
question, And
will say. Let us give him an piercing
to curse this
entire country, another ruler, you want me
one who loves power, will important gift?
suggest.
Then, a smart king will
get up and say: Do you think
2017-03-14 6:57:04 AM