Finding My Voice

Im singing in the rain, just singing in the rain, what a glorious feeling Im happy
again. The other day, I found an old home video of me singing in front of the bathroom
mirror with a hairbrush microphone, in a laundry basket---I was around 6 years old.
Looking back it made me laugh thinking about how carefree and expressive my 6-year-
old self was. Although it wasnt clear to me at that time, singing has become a major part
of my life. I didnt think that singing was such a big deal, just an activity I liked to do
alone in my room. I realize now that music has really taught me many important skills of
literacy.

Although for some its hard to believe, I wasnt always a girl obsessed with music
and singing. I started gymnastics at age seven and competed for ten years. Gymnastics
was everything to me, the gym was my second home and I loved it. The adrenaline rush
as you salute the judges and show them what youve got, was something I lived for. One
day I was flying in the air off of the high bars and the next, I was in a doctors office.
That dreadful day I will never forget. I had broken my foot from just jumping onto a curb
at my high school, not the coolest answer to the howd you break your foot? question.
My doctor told me that I had developed osteopenia, a condition in which bone mineral
density is much lower than average and is considered a precursor to osteoporosis. With
that diagnosis, I was told that gymnastics was too dangerous for me to continue. I
understood all-to-quickly and finally after much research agreed that it was time to retire.

Thats when I found my voice. When I quit gymnastics, I was left with actual free
time that I just was not comfortable with. It was then that I decided to join my high
school choir and before I knew it I was hooked. I tried out for every musical at my high
school, joined the opera workshop program, and started volunteer singing at the local
retirement home. I had experienced music and singing in elementary school but
gymnastics had occupied my mind. The occasional talent show didnt seem as important
to me as gymnastics was. Once I did start singing in high school, it gave me confidence
in communicating and expressing myself. Singing is how I let out my excitement, joy,
frustration, or my not so happy emotions for something. Before singing, I was shy around
everyone except my mom and grandparents. Once I began to sing I let my personality
shine through. I was so heavily involved in gymnastics that I forgot about singing as I
moved up to the higher levels. It wasnt until that day in the doctors office when I found
my voice again.

Learning to sing has shown me a variety of literacy components. Through singing

and music, I have acquired the ability to decipher vocal intonation. In communication
with others, I found that deciphering vocal intonation is key in determining how they are
feeling. Obtaining the skill of reading music can aide in developing reading and writing
skills. Each song has a meaning, tone, and story. Picking out features of a song can make
identifying the theme or tone of a piece of literature easier. I now know how to sing in
multiple languages and genres including: Italian, Latin, German, old English, ballads,
musical theater, and opera. As there are multiple genres and styles of music, there are
differing genres of writing. Each genre is unique in its style and tone. As each novel
allows the reader to become a different character, each song provides audience members
with a new character to become. Each character I have experienced has helped me
become more empathetic to the different people I meet.

Pitch black darkness. The band begins to play the overture as I wait behind the
curtain with way too much hairspray in my hair, palms sweating, and heart beating as fast
as it has ever beaten before. Opening night is always the most nerve wracking. Going out
on stage for the first time as your character is a vulnerable time. Once out there in the
lights, the world disappears and you get to tell the audience your message for them. You
get to make the audience laugh with you, cry with you, and have fun with you. A good
composer/song writer will leave you with some emotional feeling much like a talented
author. Every song has a character that someone can relate to when they hear that
character express themselves.

One of my favorite characters I played was Connie Mackenzie from A Chorus

Line. My songs provided the message of being confident in your height; her character is
4 10 as so was I. I was able to communicate through her character, my struggles of
being short throughout my life. I have learned to embrace my petite self and not be
worried about people thinking how young I look. As a writer creates a text with a story or
message in mind for the reader, a composer creates a song with a story and message in
mind for the audience. While most writings have a message, I think that singing brings a
message to life.

Learning music and having to perform in front of people has helped me in the
classroom as well. I became confortable when confronted with answering questions from
the instructor, doing class presentations, and other public speaking circumstances. In
helping me improve my public speaking, singing helped my literacy skills. Literacy does
not have to be just about reading and writing. Instead it is about using words, most
commonly in reading and writing, to communicate the beliefs and values that make up
your identity.

A major part of my identity is my faith, which is why I am a singer/keyboard

player for my Christian fellowships worship band. Singing worship songs makes me feel
more connected to God and I feel like I am able to communicate with Him more than any
other way people might connect with God (ex: prayer, reading scripture). I love looking
out at my brothers and sisters; to see them experience that deep, emotional connection
with God too. I feel a great joy knowing that I had a little part in making that possible.
When I sing worship songs, its as if I am bringing scripture to life. The message from a
certain passage becomes much more evident to me as I sing it out loud. The experience of
playing worship is something indescribable but I know that singing praises lets me
communicate my faith with my friends and God.

Some might say the singing is not in fact an actual type of literacy. Music is
taught differently than how reading and writing is taught. Reading is taught to little ones
by sounding out the syllables of each word while voice training focuses on reaching
certain pitches not on lyrics. When students are taught writing, they are taught to focus on
their grammar rules and repetition in their essays. Vocal training teaches students how to
breathe properly when singing and how to use that breath to reach high or low notes.
While there are these differences in singing to reading and writing, if literacy were
thought as just reading and writing, music would be considered irrelevant and could
become esoteric.

While the differences might steer people away from considering music as a type
of literacy, there are similarities that must be addressed. When one learns about music
theory they learn about all of the grammar as well as harmonic patterns of pitch
executed in sync or in series. Each note represents a certain type of beat and each music
piece has a different time scale (4/4, , 3/2). In a Standard English course, students learn
about proper grammar, patterns of speech, and sentence structure. Just like in an English
class, music theory has many vocabulary words that are important to learn. A conductor
uses phrases such as crescendo or 3rd measure just as vocabulary for writing such as
novel or cause and effect is used.

While reading and writing have not necessarily been a major part of my life, I
believe I have received a well-rounded education in literacy. Music and singing have
impacted my creativity, pronunciation, communication, and public speaking literacy. I
have been shown how literacy is about how one uses language to communicate their core
values to others. I feel blessed to have been able to learn to sing and learn music. I
believe anyone can be taught to read music and understand its language. While I cannot
say I am bilingual, I consider myself a partially bilingual person with my knowledge of
music. I notice how singer-songwriters pour their hearts out to the world and in turn help
individuals go through different stages of their lives a little better. Each song can make an
impact; turn on a happy up-beat song, you might find yourself wanting to groove and
smile.