Alec Inanoglu

1/25/17

Literacy Narrative Project: Prompt 1

I was next in line to take the school wide reading test. I could see my friend, Liam

in front of me reading aloud to the proctor, as she wrote down what were undoubtedly

mistakes that Liam was making. I knew by now that if the proctor was writing, it was not

a good sign. I felt this pressure the last time I took this test, which was last year in the

fourth grade. I could feel the fear and anxiety flow through my body as though it was

replacing my blood with a cold and heavy liquid metal. You did it last year, you can do

it this year, I thought to myself as Liam got up from the seat across the room and began

walking towards me. Knowing I was next, I felt shivers crawl all along my back each step

he took towards me. My heart began trying its hardest to break itself out of my chest

cavity. He walked up to me and wished me luck. I made my way over to the table and

took my seat. I looked across at my proctor with fearful eyes and she smiles back at me.

My anxiety, the dark looming presence that haunts my confidence now begins to recede a

little, but I knew it was still there waiting for a good moment to strike. I began reading

and was able to get through the first paragraph without any slip-ups. It was looking good

until I lost track of what line I was on. I started repeating the previous line and then I felt

the shivers begin to climb throughout my body and resonate at my neck once again. It

took me a moment to realize what was happening, and then I heard it. The ballpoint pen

echoed in my head as it sealed my fate.

 Writing and especially reading have always brought out a sort of insecurity within

me. I never enjoyed reading out loud to people nor did I enjoyed having people read my

work. I believe this stemmed from a lack of confidence, which itself came from to a lack

of interest with writing and reading in general. This mentality stuck around with me for a

lot of my life until I decided to better develop my literacy skills. My insecurity and

general lack of interest towards my reading and writing abilities initially served as a

detriment to my literary successes, but eventually became a major source of my

inspiration to better develop those skills.

Reading and writing have always been my weaker subjects in school. As a child I

never really felt the urge to read for pleasure. My parents divorced when I was around 3

years old and I ended up being raised by my mother. Since my mother had to work and I

had not yet started school, my mom would take me to my grandmothers house before

work. My grandmother served as one of my secondary guardians and took care of me

most days while my mom was at work. My grandmother only spoke Spanish, which

became my first language. I could understand and speak Spanish relatively well.

Unfortunately, due to both a laziness to continue and a lack of exposure, I never truly

became fluent in Spanish once I started grade school. I would argue that this was one of

my earliest literary memories. Although it ends in what many might consider failure, this

was one of my earliest accomplishments from literary standpoint.

My mom met my future stepfather, George when I was five years old so around

the same time I started school. As I started school, there became an obvious increase in

the amount of reading and I writing I did or better said forced to do. Though I still had a

lack of interest in it. George loved me like one of his own and with that he called me on
things. He saw that I never bothered reading and him being an avid reader, he wanted to

change that. He would often try to coax me to read with a type of reward. His sort of

incentive to get me to read was giving me five dollars for every book I read. This worked

at first, but my keen young mind found it easier to fake having read the books and lie.

Looking back at it now I regret doing this, but also detest the idea of being bribed into

reading. It felt dehumanizing almost as if I was a dog being taught a new trick. At this

point in my life the only memorable literary events in my life were followed by a sudden

urge of laziness or a general lack of interest. There was no passion in developing my

literacy skills, no desire to be better than the previous times I have tried. It was during

this realization where I felt a transition in spirit to learn. No more laziness to learn

something new, no more fear to speak publicly, no more desperation to make money at

the cost of my education. My teachers and my parents hadnt inspired me enough to start

reading or writing on my own so why was I waiting for this change to happen out of

nowhere. If I was going to start trying to better develop my literacy, I was going to do it

on my own terms.

It was around the time I was getting to middle school when my urge to better

develop my literary skills developed. Middle school was a difficult transition for me. The

entire process of going to school changed to be as confusing as possible. I started having

multiple teachers and something called homeroom. My homeroom teacher would take

attendance every day and then force us to read for the remainder of the time spent there.

This is where I discovered or was forced to discover the Series of Unfortunate

Events book series. In homeroom, we were forced to read for the entire period and I

wasnt going to stare at a book for thirty minutes pretending to read like I did in
kindergarten. I needed to find something that can actually carry my interest even for just

thirty minutes a day. I saw another student reading one of the books and the cover image

captivated me. It looked so interesting and unique compared to the other books I had been

exposed to. I gave the books a shot and started reading the first one. The story hooked me

instantly and changed my idea of what books can really be. The story was unique at least

to me, with a dark tone, a strange group of main characters, and at this point the most evil

antagonist I have ever experienced in a story at that time. I never felt this sort of general

interest in a book before. I began reading the series, but I never did finish it, stopping four

books from the end of the series. Although I didnt end up finishing the set of books, this

event marked the first time I actually found interest in reading.

It wasnt till about high school where I began to actually develop a continued

interest in literacy. Going to a magnet school focused on science and math and located

outside of the Los Angeles Zoo allowed me to become exposed to both science writing

and reading at a developed level. This was where I found my real love in regards to

literacy, science writings and readings. I always was naturally skilled in science, which

made me fond of the topic. Me having been exposed to upper level science courses,

which of course required reading was less of burden to me. I began to actually want to

read and learn more about animals specifically. This lead to me becoming a Wildlife

Biology major in college. It allowed me to expose myself to works that fueled my

interests to continue in pursuing reading and writing on the topics.

I have had many different memories of literacy throughout my life and many of

the memorable ones especially as a child were moments of weakness. They were

memories that exposed me as a lazy, disinterested, and fearful individual in regards to

developing my literacy. It was these memories that gave me my inspiration to finally step

out of my comfort zone and expand myself as an individual. It is these memories that

gave me the ability to find my passions in literacy both in academics and in personal

interests. Although many of my literacy memories thought my life have not all been

positive, they have led me to develop my literacy skill to the point it is today.