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It's a question of knowing how to highlight the traits that make you different from
the person next to you.
Over on Quora, dozens of people have answered the question, "How do I become
a more interesting person?" with insights based on their own experience. We
sifted through their responses and pinpointed the most practical advice.
Read on for ways to convince other people and more importantly, yourself
that you're a fascinating human being.
Ensure that other people find you interesting by making yourself helpful in any
situation. That's why Quora user Anthony N. Lee suggests learning as many
useful skills as you can, from web design to sewing.
That way, you'll always be the go-to person, whether a friend needs to create a
website for her new business or a blanket for her baby niece.
2. Be curious
One way to ensure that you're not interesting is by closing yourself off to differing
opinions and viewpoints. Instead, you should actively seek out new ideas and
experiences that will change the way you think and feel.
Sudhir Desai advocates being a "lifelong learner." He writes: "Keep an open mind,
be curious. Allow for a complex world with multiple interpretations. Learn things
to deepen and broaden your perspectives."
That's why Marcus Geduld says you should learn how to be a storyteller: "You
don't just dump whatever is on your mind into the conversation; you purposefully
shape it to make it interesting. Start thinking of your life as a gift you can give
to others. Wrap it in the finest paper you can find."
Geduld says that means you need to learn how to read your audience to see how
long they'll be able to pay attention and tease your listeners with clues to the end
of the story.
Interestingly, recent research found that men who can tell a good story are also
seen as more attractive by women. The study authors say that's possibly
because skilled storytellers may seem better positioned to influence others or
gain authority.
Knowing how to tell a story spontaneously is a handy skill but if you're nervous
about that, arm yourself with a few personal anecdotes you can use to liven up
an otherwise dull interaction.
Writes Devesh: "Comedians don't just talk about anything when they're onstage.
They have their act rehearsed. You don't just trot into a job interview and say
whatever's on your mind. Always have three good stories on hand that reliably
entertain, inform, or engage."
women talking
Listen to and be interested in what other people are saying. Flickr/Pedro Ribeiro
Simes
A striking number of Quora users mentioned that one way to seem interesting is
to be interested in others.
This idea was popularized by Dale Carnegie in his 1936 bestseller "How to Win
Friends and Influence People." Carnegie wrote: "You can make more friends in two
months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by
trying to get other people interested in you."
Writes Quentin Hardy, a Googler and former editor for The New York Times:
"Listen carefully to others, and try with some compassion to understand their
motives and actions. Few of us are really good at this. Everyone becomes nearly
infinite in their experience of life, if we listen to them with enough imagination.
Working that out grows ourselves. Wondering if you're wrong helps, too."
At a party, you don't need to say much about yourself for people to believe you're
interesting. Instead, engage them in deep conversation about their lifestyle.
"Ask thoughtful (not prying) questions, as needed, about them and their interests
and priorities," says Stephanie Vardavas. "Really listen to the answers. Follow up
with more thoughtful discussion and necessary questions (again, not prying). By
the end of the evening they will remember you as one of the most interesting
people they ever met."
By asking those simple questions, you may end up impressing your new
acquaintances, anyway.
Kat Li says people who don't opine on or disagree with anything can be boring.
"You feel like you can't really ever have a conversation with them," she writes.
"You should try to say what you really think about some things, even if other
people won't like it."
8. Follow your interests
Instead of learning about a ton of dull topics just for the sake of being
knowledgeable, pursue areas that you actually find stimulating. That way, you'll
sound animated and engaging when describing them to other people.
Reading a lot gives you a more interesting and empathetic perspective on the
world. p.v/Flickr
9. Read a lot
If you have the time and money to travel the world, great. But even if you don't,
you can still learn about different cultures and historical periods by reading
everything you can get your hands on.
Books, blogs, periodicals expose yourself to as many new stories and ideas as
possible.
"Read a lot it opens up multiple new worlds to us," says Chaitra Murlidhar.
Singh adds that the company you keep influences your own personality. "If you
are in the company of boring people, disgruntled people or serious people, you
are likely to become like them very soon," he says. "The same is true when you
have the company of interesting people."
You might be tempted to become a dabbler in many fields, developing a little bit
of knowledge about everything. Instead, consider knowing a lot about one topic
and flaunting your expertise in that area.
April Fonti says she finds people interesting when they "really pursue one thing
with great intensity and depth over a long period of time. They could be very
successful scientists or just quiet loners. It doesn't matter."
improv class
The art of improvisation can help improve your communication skills. Flickr/Aimee
Custis Photography
Comedian Bill Connolly told Fast Company that practicing the art of improvisation
can help improve your communication skills in daily life. One reason why is that it
makes you a better listener, focusing on what the other person is saying instead
of what you're going to say next.
14. Be unconventional
Evan Asano says being interesting comes down to being in some way different
from everyone else.
He writes: "A friend of mine after college did something no one's ever done
before (at least known). He circumambulated Martha's Vineyard via its
beach/shore. It only took a couple days and some camping gear. 20 years later he
still tells the story."
Still, not everyone has the resources or the motivation to set off on a record-
breaking camping trip right now. So think about the unusual experiences you've
already had. Maybe you've lived in a foreign country; maybe you sell art projects
as a side gig; maybe you grew up with 10 siblings. There's definitely something,
so keep digging.
"We all have quirks," writes Del Singh. "It is part of our being. Interesting people
unleash their inner weirdness."
Dressing, speaking, and acting like everyone else can be kind of boring we're
not in junior high school anymore. So let your freak flag fly, and do it with
confidence.
Danielle Lan shares a personal story, the moral of which is that no one will know
how interesting you are unless you tell them:
"My husband has been described as boring. He's really a very fascinating man,
with all his quirks and hobbies. The problem is he never shares with his coworkers
or acquaintances.
"When asked 'How was your weekend?' his response is usually, 'Fine'. In fact he
probably took part in a huge raid in his favorite MMO [massively multiplayer
online game] before watching a new movie and finishing an interesting book. But
he won't share that with just anyone.
"To be what people perceive as interesting you have to share. That also means
you have to have things to share. It's a rare person who literally does absolutely
nothing and has absolutely no opinion on any given topic. My advice is to open
up."
Indeed, research suggests that people like each other better when they each
share something personal, as opposed to when only one person does.
Perhaps the real reason you don't feel interesting is because you're spending
time with people who don't appreciate you. In that case, you should find a
different community who understands how much you have to offer.
Writes Travis Biziorek: "Challenge yourself to meet new people, hang out with a
different crowd, and experience people with different outlooks and views on life. I
promise you'll find people that interest you and those that find you fascinating."