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Grace Glagola

Dr. Parker

English 113

7 October 2016

Should Have Put a Ring On It: Holding Grudges is Overrated

Feminism is a word that has changed throughout time, adding new dynamics to the term

as society demands it, and transforming through hardship and turmoil against the stigma of being

a feminist. When it comes to the topic of feminism, most of us will readily agree that all women

need feminism and that women around the world are suffering through the injustices of gender

inequality. Where is agreement usually ends, however, is on the question of whether or not

feminists should despise men and hold vendettas against men. Whereas some are convinced that

all men are evil and have to be lesser than women for the feminist movement to fully succeed

(Dworkin and Jones), others maintain that men are not to be punished and we are to become

equal to them (Beyonce and Reilly). Through the words of these people, the concept of what

feminism ought to be- at least for me- becomes very apparent. Feminism, to me, is the act of

promoting equality amongst men and women, and my judgement on the matter is that while

feminists are doing a decent job, there is room for improvement in regards to the act of witch-

hunting men and putting them down.

Feminists focus on the war against the patriarchy, which is characterized by the endless

wrath of male supremacy and women trying to band together to take it down, and some feminists

fail to notice the integral problems with the feminist movement, which is shown by some

extreme feminists hating men, to the point where it becomes repulsive and makes other feminists

feel shameful for being a part of the same movement as those extremists. Andrea Dworkin, a
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well known radical feminist wrote this in her novel Mercy, Any man will follow any feminine

looking thing down any dark alley; I've always wanted to see a man beaten to a shit bloody pulp

with a high-heeled shoe stuffed up his mouth, sort of the pig with the apple; it would be good to

put him on a serving plate but you'd need good silver (Dworkin). Beverly Jones, author of The

Dynamics of Marriage and Motherhood, adds to her point saying (in regards to marriage), "A

relationship between a man and a woman is no more or less personal a relationship than a master

and his slave, a teacher and his student. Of course, there are personal, individual qualities to a

particular relationship but they are so overshadowed by the class nature of the relationship

(Jones). The act of belittling men and frowning upon their mere existence does nothing for the

feminist movement besides turning off prospective future feminists. Feminism cannot thrive if

our goals are not the same: To become equal with men, no more no less. Women who see men as

an issue and fail to see the importance of accepting everyone for who they are, regardless of

gender, are the ones who will inevitably break feminism down unless they can change their

vindictive ways.

Feminism is a spectrum that spans from some feminists believing that all men are

disgusting scum, as seen above, and others believe that they are our brothers and do not deserve

the hate that some feminists have been giving them. Some women, like Beyonc, know that she

can still be a feminist even if she is married. Beyonc, in her song Flawless, sings about how

even though shes married, she still is fully empowered as a woman and wont just hide in the

shadows of her husband by saying, I took some time to live my life, but dont think Im just his

little wife, Dont get it twisted, get it twisted, this is my shit, bow down bitches (Beyonc). Her

lyrics suggest that just because shes married, that doesnt mean that he owns her and controls

her in any way. She is a free woman, strengthened by her beliefs. Seth Meyers, recently married
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Alexi Ashe (human rights activist), and spoke on the matter of her changing his vision on the

world, When you work with the sort of really strong women that I work with, the idea that

anyone would want to make decisions for them is hard to wrap your head around (Reilly).

Women are entitled to believe what they want, however, it is clear that women and men can be

united in holy matrimony with no glaring issues. There are ways around the issues that extremist

feminists constantly bring up. Feminists should not be divided because of radical reasons, as we

are stronger united than separated. Humanity needs to stay together, through thick and thin; but

what is a family if we cannot love and accept everyone with every opportunity we are given?

Feminism as a whole strives to be inclusive, but ultimately falls short because of the lack

of mutual support from the women who support the ideology behind what makes a feminist a

feminist. Unless we can set our personal vendettas against men aside, we will be unable to fully

come together as a sisterhood and go forth with the ultimate goal of feminism: to achieve

equality between men and women all over the world. Holding petty grudges against an entire

gender is inconceivable; it doesnt make any sense whatsoever. The best we can do for one

another is to treat every fellow feminist with the same respect that we would want for ourselves.

Sexist injustices may plague the Earth leaving a stain on humanity, but feminism should be a

place of safety for all everyone, no matter who you are.

Works Cited

Beyonce. ***Flawless. Beyonce, Parkwood Entertainment, Columbia, 2013.

Dworkin, Andrea. Mercy. New York: Four Walls Eight Windows, 1991. Print.
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Jones, Beverly. "The Dynamics of Marriage and Motherhood." Women's Liberation (1970): n.

pag. Print.

Reilly, Kaitlin. "17 Feminist Quotes From Male Celebrities That Will Make You Love Them

Even More." 17 Feminist Quotes From Male Celebrities That Will Make You Love Them

Even More. Bustle, 29 Sept. 2014. Web. 07 Oct. 2016.