We should use the right words with the right meaning

There are three golden words, used habitually. Well; they are not I love you but please, sorry
and thank you. Infants are taught to lisp thank you and sorry without even knowing the
meaning. These are perhaps the first words we learn and they stay with us right through our lives
as yardsticks of our good manners.

But when was the last time we said thank you or sorry without meaning to simply offload
our burden of obligation or guilt? Indeed, these words no longer convey what they are supposed
to. Instead, they are used flippantly, often reduced to an easy way of getting off the hook and
evading meaningful acts.

They may be the most commonly used words in times of political correctness. But they are
clearly the most abused as well, says Sangeeta, a professor. The sentiments of gratefulness and
apology are vital to the chain of human reciprocity. But in stripping them of sincerity, we also
seem to be closing the doors on their benefits for us.

The Gen X kids manage to cajole their parents by pleading with an innocent face and limpid
eyes. I just cant resist buying my son anything he wants when he so sweetly says Please mom,
youre the bestest mom in the world, please, buy me this or that, says Mamata benevolently.

Celebrities and politicians put their foot in the mouth umpteen times. They malign others and
get off scot-free just by rendering a public apology, says Arjun vociferously. With everybody
from convicts to public figures seeking its refuge, sorry is not a quick fix for things gone awry,
but the starting point of restoring order. The use of this word must be backed by sincerity of
intention.

The lack of gratefulness is because we take things for granted, presuming that they are either our
rightful due or are far less than what we deserve. In fact, there is a subtle line of distinction
between gratitude and ingratiation. So much so that when someone thanks us too many times, we
start doubting their intention.

According to Sudhanshu, a corporate manager, the act of offering and accepting an apology is
both profound and healing. But while the offhand sorry about that keeps flying around, our ego
prevents us from realizing its full potential.

Please has the power to melt people, but itll work only if you are saying it from your heart and
you mean what you say. If you cant say it sincerely, then use your acting prowess and see the
results after all its a world of fakers.

Sorry often works, sometimes just a formality. But youll see the best results if you prove
youre sorry. Plus, saying sorry means you accept your mistake.
Thank you is all that it takes to show someone that you care and that theyre important. Not
being thanked hurts; its only then that we realize the importance of thank you. Use this word
generously to create smiles. What matters most is honesty, generosity, humility, commitment;
courage and sacrifice, for these qualities define our true etiquette.

HARJEET KAUR ALLAGH