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Selective listening is the act of hearing and interpreting only parts of a message that seem relevant to
you, while ignoring or devaluing the rest. Often, selective listeners will form arguments before theyve
heard the full story, making them not only poor listeners, but poor speakers too!
To confront this in a group environment, one moderator should compose a list of objects or ideas, all
similar in theme. For example: turkey, lettuce, tomato, mayo, mustard, cheese, etc. These are all
sandwich components, and most people will recognize this. The list should be relatively long, maybe
15 to 20 words, and have some repeated words. For example: turkey, lettuce, tomato, mayo, mustard,
cheese, ham, lettuce, pickles, onion, olives, lettuce
The moderator should read this list to the group, and then allot them 30 seconds to write down as many
words as they can remember. Most people will remember the word that was repeated the most, and a
notable amount will most likely write down words that were obvious, but not actually stated in the list.
For example: bread, sandwich, or food.
Group Storytelling
A good listener should be able to view a discussion as a whole, and not just its most immediate parts.
The group storytelling activity is a fun, potentially silly, but incredibly valuable exercise in active
listening and comprehension.
This activity should have one group moderator, who will deliver the storys first line. It should be
something simple, and open for many possible continuations, such as, So the other day, I went to the
store.
Each participant in the group is responsible for making up their own contribution to the story, a single
sentence that logically continues from the last. Meanwhile, the group moderator should be keeping
track of the story on a computer or in a notepad, checking each addition for possible continuity errors.
Most of the time, there will be a few additions that contradict previous parts of the story. The moderator
should hold out on identifying these until the full story has been written, and can be read aloud to the
group. Then, the group can discuss how these mistakes were made, and what sorts of listening skills
they should practice to ensure important information is never forgotten.
List-less
Here is a quick one that I use in my workshops: List about 18 related words, pick any topic, for example,
sleep, mattress, pillow, snore etc. pick one word to be intermingled in the list three times, such as, the 3rd,
7th, and 12th word will be sleep. Leave out one obvious word from the list such as bed. Ask
attendees to listen as you read the list to them.
Give them one minute to write as many words as they can remember that you said. Usually 60% will
remember the first word, 75% will get the last word on your list, 80% will remember the word that was
repeated three times and 20% will write down the obvious word you never said. Debrief why all this
happened and what we can learn from this. Posted by Glen Mountford TuckerAll Posts
Selective Attention
This is great for groups of 10 or more. Ive found that only about 20 percent of the people actually pick
up the gorilla. Good luck! Posted by Clint Babcock
http://www.theinvisiblegorilla.com/gorilla_experiment.html
Interpretation of Meaning
Use a series of words/phrases and ask the group to write down what the words/phrases mean to them. For
example, this material is outdated, and Ill get back to you in a bit. These phrases mean different
things to different people and thats why we must be specific when we communicate. The responses are
very interesting! Some thought that a bit was five minutes, while others thought a day or so. For the
material being outdated, the same applied. Some participants thought outdated material could be a month
old, while others thought at least a year. Its interesting how we interpret different things from everyday
phrases. Posted by Victoria L. McDevitt
Paper Folding
Give everyone a sheet of paper.
Tell everyone to close their eyes and follow your instructions.
Start giving instructions about what to do with the piece of paper examples :
fold it in half
fold the lower left corner over the upper right corner
turn it 90 degrees to the left
fold it again
rip a half-circle in the middle of the right side
etc.
Once you have given quite a few instructions (more then 10 at least for a great success), tell
everyone to open their eyes and unfold their piece of paper.
Even though they all received the same instructions and had the same starting material, pretty
much everyone will have a different result.
Conclusions :
We dont all start with the sames base (some held their piece of paper vertically or horizontally)
so we dont all have the same results
Some interpreted to rip a piece of paper as removing a big piece, some as a small piece
Having eyes closed = not receiving feedback on our performance
Some instructions appear vague to some and clear to others.
Many other conclusions can be drawn on the fly from this
Draw what you hear
Pair people up and ask your couples to sit back to back. One person in each pair should have a piece of
paper and a pen or pencil. Once everyone has settled, give the other person in the pair an abstract drawing
(different shapes maybe joined up together) to describe to the other person in the pair. Give them two
minutes to describe and draw without asking or answering any questions. Then you allow another minute
for the drawer to ask questions.
Debrief: When the time is up, ask them to compare the drawing to the original. Discuss why there were
differences (there always are!). Was it the describing or was it the listening? Was it because they couldnt
ask questions to clarify what was being described and what about not being able to see the person to get
the visual clues of looking for understanding of what one is saying e.g. nodding or frowning etc What
about the noise in the room is it a distraction when you want to listen to someone properly? What
should you do to create a good environment for listening; how should you behave to show you are
listening? etc . Posted by Sandie Gay
Variation: Conduct the exercise in a series of rounds. In every round the communicator will describe a
picture we give them of assorted geometrical shapes. In the first round the listener/drawer cant ask any
questions, just listen and draw based on what they hear. The second round a different picture of geometric
shapes is described and the listener/drawer can only asked closed-ended questions. The third round a
different picture of geometric shapes is given and the listener/drawer can use his/her active listening
skills. We discuss how accurate were the pictures? How well the communicator describes the picture will
determine how successful they want to be with a customer. Posted by Annette West
Building a model
Materials and Preparation 2 matching sets of childrens building blocks (e.g. Lego), with 10 blocks and
1 base board in each set. Using one set of blocks, build a random object using the 10 blocks, onto the base
board. Optional 2 bags to contain each set of building blocks.
Time 45 mins
Group Size minimum 3 people, up to about 7.
(You can have duplicate exercise running in parallel if group is larger, but will need more sets of building
blocks).
There are 4 roles in this communication skills game.
Person A director
Person B runner
Person C builder
Person(s) D observer(s)
Person A is given the built-up set of blocks, and is the only person who can see the object. It is the
directors job to give clear instructions to person B, the runner, so that person C can build an exact replica
of the model.
Person B listens to the directors instructions and runs to a different part of the room to where person C is
sitting. The runner then passes on the building instructions, without seeing the building blocks, to Person
C, the builder. The runner can make as many trips as required within the time allowed for the exercise.
Person C listens to the runners instructions and builds the object from the set of building blocks. The
builder is the only person who can see the object under construction, and building materials.
Person(s) D observe the communication game, and make notes about what works, what doesnt work, and
how people behaved under pressure etc., to pass onto the group later.
Set a time limit for the exercise of 10 minutes.
When the time is up, allow the group to compare the model and the replica, and see how closely it
matches. Generally, the replica will bear little resemblance to the original, which usually causes heated
discussion!
Allow the group to reflect on how the exercise went, and agree 1 thing they did well, 1 thing that didnt
work, and 1 thing they would do better next time.
Run the exercise again, either switching or keeping original roles, and see if any improvements have been
made. Make sure you de-construct the original model and create a new design!
This simple communication skills game can be run many times without losing learning potential. Teams
can add layers of sophistication to their communication by making use of aids such as diagrams, codes,
standard procedures and using active listening techniques. Posted by Najeeb Muhammad
Draw it
Another simpler exercise that Ill use involves asking a volunteer to perform a task for me, but with
minimal instructions. (ie. draw my house.) Repeatedly, theyll make submissions and Ill mockingly
berate them for poor job performance. Eventually Ill ask them to sit down. Ill then ask for another
volunteer to perform the task, but this time I provide them with great detail. Of course they are able to
complete the task with much more success.
Dominoes
One of the listening skills activities that I do is that you have people get in groups of 2, you give one of
them a pack of 8 dominos and the other a shape diagram of rectangles (dominos) in a random pattern.
Only the person without the dominos should see the pattern. They sit back to back on the floor or the one
with the dominos at a table and the other in a chair back to back. The one with the diagram instructs the
other on placing the dominos to match the diagram. The one with the dominos cannot speak. They get 2
min. I usually do this in a big group where they are all working in pairs at once.
Then they switch roles, get a new pattern and do the exercise again, this time the person with the dominos
is allowed to speak. 2 min. usually successful.
Then we debrief looking at challenges, jargon words used, analyze how they provided instructions
without being able to watch the person, tone, questions asked, etc. ( I have this all in a document if you
want it) It is quite fun and enlightening for those who are training to be able to be in a support role with
technology. Posted by Karen McRitchie
Question challenges
I have found it useful to use creative thinking questions as a good way to stimulate listening. Here are
just a few that I use (with answers in brackets!)
Carl Wins: Carl wins race after race, he is the fastest runner, yet he gets no trophy, why? {Carl is a
horse.}
To Light a Fire: You are hiking with a friend in the deep woods of northern Canada. A cold front quickly
approaches and you find cover behind a sheltered boulder. A fire will be necessary if you are to survive
the storm. In your pack you have only one match, a candle, a tightly wound ball of birch bark and a roll of
toilet paper. Which would you light first? {The Match}
A Good Guess?: There is a man who guesses the score of every football game before Kick-off. How can
he do this? {Before the game starts the score is always 0-0}
Digging Dirt: How much dirt is in a round hole that is 7 feet deep with a diameter of 4.5 feet? {None at
all. The hole is made by digging dirt out, so the hole is empty.}
The Crazy Cat: A cat jumped out the window of a 30 storey apartment building and lived. How? {He
jumped out the ground floor window.}
The Pilot: There is a boy and his father on a late flight from New York to Denver. Part way through the
flight the boy becomes curious and asks to see the plane controls. They allow him in the cockpit, the pilot
shows him the controls and after the boy goes back to his seat the pilot tells one of the attendants, thats
my son. How is this possible? {The pilot is the boys mother, and you thought all pilots were men!}
Frequent Occurrence: It occurs once in a minute and once in an hour, but never in a second. What is it?
{The letter U.}
One-Way Street: A girl who was just learning to drive went down a one-way street in the wrong direction,
but didnt break the law. How come? {She was walking.}
Saw Purchase: A profoundly deaf person decides that he wants to build some shelves, so he heads down
to the hardware store to buy a saw. How does he let the assistant know that he wants to buy a saw? {He
says, Hello shop assistant, Id like to buy a saw please.}
Posted by Mark Crawford
Building Blocks
I have found childrens blocks to be very usefull in learning to listen. I put together 8 blocks of different
shapes and sizes into bags. Then I have people partner up and one person empties the bag while the other
is blindfolded and sitting at the table waiting for directions on how to build a specified object with the
blocks. As the one without the blindfold gives directions on how to use the blocks to build the specified
structure the blindfolded participant has to listen very carefully to the directions and use their sense of
touch to determine which block to use and how. I find that when they are under a time limit and given
incentives to do their best, people really listen well and get very close to the required structure. We
debrief after the exercise and I find alot of people realize they hear so much more than just the directions
when they are blindfolded. Its also alot of fun. Posted by Jeff Trimble
Paper Cut
This is a 5 to 10-minute, highly effective activity on importance of perception and asking questions in
communication process. The exercise illustrates the importance of giving meaningful instructions to
others and expecting feedback for correct execution of those instructions. It is fun and quickly makes a
point.
Materials needed: one sheet of A4 or 8.511 paper for each participant; scissors are optional
Instructions: Explain to delegates that you are about to give them instructions and they must follow
these instructions as given to them. They must follow these quietly and are not allowed to ask any
questions. They should not get help from others around them or even look at other peoples work.
If anyone asked questions, simply tell them to follow the instructions as they see fit. Present these
instructions:
Hold up the papers please.
Fold the paper in half.
Cut (or neatly tear) off the top right corner of the folded paper.
Fold in half again.
Cut off the top left corner of the paper.
Fold in half again.
Cut off the bottom right corner of the paper.
Fold in half.
Cut off the bottom left corner of the paper.
Unfold the paper.
Ask delegates to show off their unfolded papers to each other and examine similarities or differences.
Debrief
Simply ask: Did you end up with similar patterns or everyones pattern was different? Why is that? Were
the instructions clear enough? What was missing? Why feedback is so critical in communication? What
happens if feedback is missing? What lessons do we take from this?
Source: Skills Converged; Posted online by Srishty Gajbhiye