Kylee McCluskey

COMM 2110-001
Proposal Assignment
02/11/2017

GOAL:
I will communicate with others to get a full story, instead of aggressively assuming
or ruining friendships.
Rationale:
My current communication habit is ineffective because I come on to strong when it
is not needed, and dont have all the information. If I communicate this way a
negative side effect would be that people think I am rude and aggressive. If I
improve on this then a positive consequence would be that I am rational and kind.
Strategies:
Before communicating with others aggressively I will use these strategies to find out
more information starting immediately. February 11, 2017.
A)
I will improve my communication skills with perception checking.
1. Describe
2. Feed Forward Phase
3. Explain Interaction (2)
4. Ask
B)
I will also keep in mind to not judge anyone completely off of the impression
formation theory.
1. Primacy first thoughts/impression
2. Recency The most recent experience with said person
C)
I will avoid any fundamental attribution errors by looking at the big picture,
becoming aware of how others perceive me, increase conscious awareness by being
more mindful. I will be other-oriented, and check perceptions.
Implementation:
I will begin this goal immediately. I can practice my strategies when meeting new
potential friends, by not applying the halo/horn effect or going off first impressions
by getting to know them more. I can also practice with old friends by perception
checking when there is a problem. My motivation to stay on task with this
assignment is that I will be making new friends and saving current relationships in
any future complications.
Work Cited:
Everything listed about is from class notes.

To: Professor Tamra Phillips

Department of Communication

From: Kylee McCuskey

Date: 02/13/2017

RE: Interpersonal Change Journal Project

My goal for this semester is that I will communicate with others to get a full story, instead of
aggressively assuming or ruining friendships.

February 13

Describe Your Feelings, Rather Than Evaluate Behavior (Beebe, Beebe, Redmond, 2014,
p.174)

After spending the day cleaning the house and being productive I started making a frozen pizza. I
had the pizza out and was waiting for the oven to preheat. This is when my dad came home and
went straight to yelling at me about how the pizza was for dinner and that I left my blanket outside in
the rain. Instead of just saying Okay like I usually do when he starts getting mad at me immediately
over nothing. I said It hurts my feelings when I spend the day cleaning and then get yelled at for
something I didnt realize was wrong. He continued yelling saying I should know, and that he always
has to tell me. So I offered to put the pizza back in the freezer.

I also said its not a big deal that I left my blanket outside, its not affecting anyone and this pizza
isnt even big enough for the four of us to have for dinner which I could have left out. Using the I
statements helped him cool down and realize he was overreacting.

February 16
How to Apologize (Beebe, Beebe, Redmond, 2014, p.178)/ Describe Your Feelings, Rather
Than Evaluate Behavior (Beebe, Beebe, Redmond, 2014, p.174)

This morning my friend pulled into my drive way to drop me off, as I was getting my stuff together to
get out of her car my mom didnt see us and backed her car into my friends. I was shocked and
wasnt sure what to do. My mom got out of her car, gave me a dirty look, and started walking into the
house. I was upset with her actions so I said Why are you giving me that dirty ass look, youre the
one that backed into us?? To which she yelled back Well dont have your fucking friends park in my
drive way! which they usually dont but since she was dropping me off thats what we usually do.
Luckily there wasnt any damage to either car, but we avoided each other all day. I am not good at
apologizing so I studied up and thought about what to say first. I expressed that I shouldnt have
reacted the way I did and that I didnt know what to do in the situation. She told me that she Felt like
an idiot for hitting her car.

I think because I used I statements in my apology and waiting a good amount of time in-between
the incident to apologize it allowed both of us to cool down and she was more willing to express how
she felt.

February 21

How to Apologize (Beebe, Beebe, Redmond, 2014, p.178)

Today after Madi and Is last class as we were walking to the car and I was telling her about
something so unimportant, just rambling, but she was on her phone and didnt hear it so she asked
me to repeat myself. Since it wasnt important I didnt want to say it again so I said You were on your
phone, I am not repeating myself. I didnt mean for it to come out sounding so rude but it did. So
there was tension between us and we were quiet almost the whole ride home. Right before we got to
my house I explained to her the situation and why I didnt want to repeat myself and that I didnt
mean for it to come out the way it did. Then everything was fine!
I did the above instead of just ignoring the situation and pretending it didnt happen like I usually do in
these situations. I think it really was a weight off of both of our shoulders.

February 26

Indirect Perception checking (Beebe, Beebe, Redmond, 2014, p.81)

Today, a friend and I were trying to figure out what to do. I wanted to go to Kaysville, but my friend
said she didnt want to go and wanted to stay in the area. Then neither of us could find something we
both wanted to do. She asked what our friends were doing in Kaysville, normally I would say Im not
sure but if we arent going up there it doesnt matter we can find something to do closer to home.

Instead I noticed her asking these questions was to probe the idea of going up there but she still
didnt want to commit. I noticed that she wanted to go up there and so I offered to pay gas because I
could tell from her nonverbal cues that she couldnt afford it, but I didnt say anything about that and
then she was down to go so it worked out that she drove and I paid for gas.

February 28

How to Be Assertive How to (Beebe, Beebe, Redmond, 2014, p.179)

Today, I had a problem with a lady that worked at the DMV. I felt like she thought she had a lot of
power over me and was talking down to me. There was an error of information on their part the last 2
times I talked to them so I was trying to get all the information to avoid conflict again. I asked for her
to read part of the letter to me that she had pulled up and asked a couple questions off of there.
When she responded it was with sarcasm and a bitchy tone. I was about to snap on her and be
aggressive.

Instead I looked her in the eyes and said I am aware of that, but nothing is set in stone, and I know it
is completely up to the DMV for a change in that. I am just gathering all the information I can so that
we dont have another error on the DMV side. I think this was helpful for her to take me seriously
and answer all of my questions without demeaning me.

March 2

How to Use Words of Support (Beebe, Beebe, Redmond, 2014, p.173)

Today at work were I just recently started it seemed like everyone was in a gloomy mood, and
complaining about how slow the day was going and that they didnt want to be there. Normally I
would agree.

Instead of agreeing though, partly because I was in a good mood, and partly because I thought
about how to use words of support, I went positive. I commented on how our shift was almost over
and said At least it isnt too busy today! they actually commented on how it is good to be positive
like that so I think it had a good impact.

March 7

Assertiveness vs Aggressiveness (Beebe, Beebe, Redmond, 2014, p.180)

While my friend and I were at another friends house she said she would be able to drive me home
later. As I was counting on that since she said she could, I denied other ways of getting home
throughout the day since I didnt drive myself. When 11p.m. came around I asked if we could leave
soon, she responded with she was tired and going to spend the night there instead. When I stated I
needed to go home she responded with Well you should have thought about that earlier. I wanted
to jump straight to anger.

Instead of getting mad about the situation and being aggressive, I first described and disclosed the
situation from my point of view while also being considerate of hers as well (Her being tired and I
needing to go home and she said she could). I identified the effects, she was annoyed and I was
silent. I couldnt really paraphrase because she wouldnt communicate with me. This time it didnt
work out as planned.

March 9

Elaborated code (Beebe, Beebe, Redmond, 2014, p.177)

Today my brother asked me to borrow money, he is only 14, so he doesnt understand the concept of
being broke can mean I have money currently but it needs to go to bills. So when I told him I dont
have money to lend him at the moment but maybe I could at the end of the week he said that I did
have money and could just say no next time instead of lying. Normally I would get annoyed and
either ignore it or get upset and be aggressive/defensive.

Instead I used elaborated code and explained to him why I have money but how it needs to be put to
bills so I dont have any left over. I think explaining this to him helped him understand and it made us
both happy in the end and have no anger towards each other.

March 21

Solve Problems rather Than Control (Beebe, Beebe, Redmond, 2014, p.176)

When I am trying to get things accomplished I like to control things and tell people what to do and to
do it my way so we can get it done as quickly as possible. Today I was arguing with a friend about
which way to go in the parking lot was easiest and quickest. Normally, like I have done many MANY
times is just say this way is fastest follow me. Which is controlling, and if they didnt want to listen to
me then I would go my way anyways, even if its alone. (Im stubborn.)
Instead we talked it out and both said why we thought each way was faster/easier and way. We
solved the problem by each going our own way, and a normal pace to see who got there faster. Now
we know which way to go in the future and it wont be a problem.

March 23

Halo/horn (notes from class)

Today I met up with a new friend to do some homework, throughout working on homework I felt they
would randomly say things that kind of offended me. (Not a lot, just a little to the point where I
thought about it. Lol) like he commented on my music that it was Interesting, and that they didnt
really listen to this kind of music. So at first my mind was racing as to why he kept saying weird
comments about what I do or what I listen to.

Instead of taking it personally and judging them off of it, I thought of the Halo/horn effect from class
and decided to ask what they meant about their comments later on. He said he didnt mean it to
come off as weird or that he didnt like the music I listened to it was just that he was nervous and
trying to make conversation but his words werent coming out as planned.

Conclusion

I realized that taking this class actually makes me think a lot more about what I say and about what
other say as well throughout my daily life. I realized the people that have also taken a
communications class use these strategies often, and I could definitely tell when someone hasnt
taken any consideration into it. I have realized that it is much easier to solve a problem or conflict out
with someone using the strategies above then what I used previously or instinctively which is with
anger. This way everyone is happier and I feel better about myself.

References
Interpersonal Communication, Relating to Others. Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond. Class notes/lecture.