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Reading Notes for TCK Chapters 13-19

Chapter 13 Strong Foundation-


How do you build a strong foundation for cultural transition?
Wise Cross Culture parenting takes planning and effort.
Parents must help children plan and prepare for cross-cultural living?
Parent-to parent Relationship:
o Commitment to each other.
o Respect and support for one another
o Willingness to nurture the relationship
Parent-To-Child Relationship:
o Children need to be valued
o Children need to be special
o Children need to be protected
o Children need to be comforted

Explain Positive Parental relationships Why is a Spiritual Core vital?


Cross Cultural Parenting:
Wise Cross Culture Parenting asks the following Positive Spiritual Core: This foundation is block is the
questions: childs awareness that there is a stable spiritual core in their
What family needs require attention in any parents lives and in the life of the family as a whole.
location? It is valuable to understand different truths as represented in
What are policies of sending agency? different cultures to withhold judgement and interpretation.
How will family relationships be affected? In a world where moral values and practices can be radically
Do both parents favor move? different from one place to another, this block of maintaining
How does family handle stress? a constancy of identifiable core beliefs and values is the key
How will family take advantage of CC to true stability throughout life.
opportunities? TCKs are equipped to remain on a steady course, no matter
What educational opportunities exist? which culture or cultures they live in.
How will family prepare to leave?

Positive Spiritual Core:


Needs a stable spiritual core
Needs a sense of personal truth and ability to
discern truth
Needs identifiable core beliefs and values for
stability throughout life
Provides steady course throughout life.

Explain childs need to be comforted: How do you help you child develop a worthy world view in an
Being comforted communicates that parents international setting?
care and understand, even if the situation
cant be changed. By talking to them
Parents should remember, particularyly in any Being there for them
transition experience, that the quietest, most Trying to understand them
compliant child may be grieving and need comfort them as best as possible
comforting the most.

Explain why a child needs to be valued:


Knowing that what we think and feel makes a
difference to those around us is part of feeling
significant as a human being.
Parents of TCKs communicate that they value
their children in all the usual ways parents
normally do: by listening when children talk,
by asking good questions, by seeking
clarification when a child speaks or acts in a
way parents dont quite understand, by giving
a quite hug.
A challenge for TCKs parents is that there
constantly growing up in different worlds.

4 Foundation Blocks for Healthy TCKs Explain a positive Spiritual Core.


Parent to Parent Relationship:
Commitment to each other I think the parent to child relationship is very important
Respect and support for one another in general because as a child you rely on your parents for
Willingness to nurture relationship many things. They are the people that you would like to
believe that their parents are the ones that they can trust
in anything because they want what is best for them.
Parent to Child Relationship: As a child you expect your parents to guide and protect
Parents are most important caregivers you.
Children need to be valued The parents are the most important caregivers.
Children need to be protected Children want to be valued- parents can show that to
Children need to be comforted their children by showing them you appreciate them and
spending time with them and teaching them new things.
Positive Spiritual Core: Children want to be protected and comforted.
Needs a stable spiritual core
Needs a sense of personal truth and ability to
discern truth
Needs identifiable core beliefs and values for
stability throughout life
Provides steady course throughout life.

TCKs Perception of Parents Work


Feel Proud?
Feel Bitterness?
Parents positive/negative toward host
culture?
Can endure hardship?
Can repatriate?

Why is it important to understand a childs What is the responsibility of the sending agency for family care
perspective of parents work? and health?
It is important to understand a child's
perspective to know how they are feeling The responsibility is to check on the families care and see
because as a parent you might look at it how they are doing and or on their health to make sure
differently than your child. So it is that everyone is healthy and if not to get them the
important you understand the perspective assistance that they need.
of a child because there is a different
mentality from a child to an adult.
You might not feel what a child is feeling so
it is important to try and understand
children and talk to them about how they
feel.

Chapter 14: Dealing with Transition: Explain following. On left explain the topics from the text. On
right column add your personal experiences or ideas concerning each topic.
Involvement through leaving: Building a Strong Foundation:
Having a comfortable transition Requires dealing with transition
Involvement Cant stop the transition issues or patterns of mobility but
Talking to them about the transition can deal with them in healthy manner!
Notifying them beforehand Very important to deal with transition issues effectively
Preparing them Leaving requires that TCKs: Face losses but look forward
Grieving with hope!
Building a RAFT: Reconciliation: any time we face a move from one place to
R- Reconciled another, its easy to deal with tensions in relationships by
A- Affirm Relationships ignoring them. Reconciliation includes both the need to
F- Farewells forgive and be forgiven.
T- Think Destination Affirmation: relationships are built and maintained through
affirmation- the acknowledgement that each person in this
*Raft links home culture with host culture!! relationship matters.
have children identify who their special friends,
teachers, adults in the community are.
Encourage children to think of something they
might like to give that special person
As a family send a note letting them know about the
transition.
Farewells: saying goodbye to people, place, pets, and
possessions in culturally and age appropriate ways is
important if we dont want to leave deep regrets later.
Think Destination: Need to think realistically about our
destination: Where we are going even though it is sad to
leave and say good-bye.

Maintaining stability through transition:


can stay sacred thorough object, memories,
pictures
Other sacred objects are worn

Mourning Losses:
mourning is the conscious acknowledgement
of loss.
Getting through the transition stage isnt only
about exploring the present but looking at our
losses.
It includes the need to continue that planning
for the future that we began when we
thought destination in the leaving stage.

Entering right:
The more we have thought ahead about this
time, however, and the more we are
consciously aware of what we and our family
will need to make a positive entry to this
place, the sooner and smoother we can begin
to positively move into our new life.
It is important for everyone to be involved

Getting reinvolved:
This doesnt always mean that we like
everything about the situation, but at least we
can start to see why people do what they do
rather than only what it is they do.

Chapter 15: Meeting educational needs of children when living abroad.


List various types of educational choices in the School Teachers more than academic subjects
following spaces. Schooling should not make it impossible for the child to
Teachers can invest in helping TCK students return to the home country
by investing Home and Correspondence Schooling
Educational Philosophies Differ Among
Cultures
Parents must examine the total approach to
education in any system of schooling, not
merely the academics.

Meeting Educational Needs: Home and Correspondence Schooling:


Educational Philosophies differ among PROS:
cultures Child lives with parents
Culture is passed on in schools Individualized instruction
Schooling must help child return home Moral and spiritual values of parents taught
Review different school choices Child can continue schooling in home country without
Home schooling is possible interruption
Distance learning is now available can use curriculum of choice
Satellite Schools, native Schools, Local CONS:
International Schools, and Boarding Schools. Lack of parental teaching skills
Children may fall behind if so
Parent child stress
lack of peer contact
Lack of healthy competition
Coming Home: Reentry Schools on the Internet:
Home Again Reacculturation PROS:
Child lives with parents
Involvement Small size class
Farewells/ Goodbyes Child can continue schooling in home country without
interruption
Affirmations Reconciliation Internet classes include virtual classmates, discussion, real
Think/Plan to return time teacher.
Local National Schools Teaching responsibility with teacher, more like physical
Satellite Schools classroom: parents not teaching outside their skill level.
Local International Schools CONS:
Lack of physically present peers
Boarding Schools May be more expensive than other schooling options.
Pre University Schooling in the Home
Country

Finding Your Own Identity: Identity Texts: A Practical Means to Reconnect


Country of origin graphic organizer Identify Texts: How Schools Can help!
Venn diagram comparing Springfield, MA- According to Jim Cummins, Identity texts are the products
USA to place of origin of student work carried out with pedagogical frameworks
Researching location, culture, language, and Students invest their identities through writing, speaking,
other information about country of origin visual, or musical forms, or combine in multimodal form,
Interviewing family members then share with others for positive affirmation.
Creating a personal collage
Writing an I am poem
Creating a personal cd cover
Chapter 16: Enjoying the Journey
Select 5 key points that you wish to discuss concerning
enjoying the journey and explain your views and
personal experiences with each.

1. HAVING FUN!- never forget the best aspect of TCK lifestyle is the fun it can be. Having fun in the journey is another
great way to tie the many elements of a TCKs life together into a cohesive whole that is essential for building a strong sense
of identity.

2.Unpack Your Bags and Plant Your Trees!- it means you have made a choice to embrace all the possibilities and live with an
openness to all the opportunities this life affords rather than to live in a self-protective mode.
3. Keep Relationships Solid!- Keep in touch with people you have met in different countries. Keep in touch with them, Try to
see each other again and or if you can meet up at another country. Just keep in contact do not lose those friendships, they are
worth a lot!

4. Build Strong Ties with the Community- By building this community you can build extended families that you will learn and
grow together from. You will learn from their culture and be part of that culture. Build strong ties with extended families. As
well stay in contact with them.

5. Explore and Become Involved in the Surroundings!- Learn about the countrys history, geography, and culture. Families
should pretend they are tourists once or twice a year and plan trips just to see the sights. Explore as much as possible when you
are in that country. Try things that you have never tried before, or try them again. Explore as much as possible, taste the food, be
adventurous and maybe try some crazy things.
Chapter 17 : Coming Home

Reentry Process: How does reentry become a plus?


Reasons for reentry stress are simply
extensions of the many factors we have Relational
talked about, particularly the normal Emotional
challenges of any cross-cultural transition: Creative
the grief of losing a world they have come Volitional
to love, the discomfort of being out of Intellectual
cultural balance once more, and the Physical
struggle to start to find a place of belonging Spiritual
in a new place with new people. Significant
Unified
It is difficult to adapt every single time you go to another
country
You become stronger
They have to settle in and no one is treating them any more
special than anyone else, it can become a shock.
Reentry might not be quite so difficult if the unexpected
differences were merely in some of these more obvious
ways.
Reverse Culture Shock: Have you ever had culture shock? Reverse culture shock?
experiencing a new culture they are not use When I went to go study abroad in Costa Rica, I did not have
too culture shock when I was there. I was very excited to be
Confuse cultures they have experienced there, I wanted to experience and take everything in. I
they have a difficult time adapting to new wanted to try everything that the native people in Costa Rica
culture would do. I really enjoyed my time there. I did not want to
Language might be a barrier come back.
But when I got back I think I did have reverse culture shock
because in Costa Rica everyone is very nice and welcoming.
Because I would catch myself always thinking of why
Americans are so rude and not welcoming and how we are
so self centered here. I really missed the culture I was living
in, in Costa Rica and I wanted to go back. I felt like I wasn't
fitting in, it was different. Simple things as saying good
morning to everyone I saw I was being looked at weird.
They were very generous over there and I really enjoyed it
but the American culture and Costa Rican culture are very
different.

Supporting a reentrant: How might you be What advice would you give someone considering working
supportive to a TCK/A? abroad?
Prepare for reentry before leaving host If someone was going to go work abroad I would tell them to
country. research the country and to familiarize themselves with the
Remind TCKs that the foundation stones of country itself. To look up their culture, their values, norms,
their lives can never be taken away. what they do, what they do not do, etc.
Remind TCKs that foundations are meant to You want to at least be a little familiar with how the country
be built on. works in their social, political, cultural life.
Remind everyone this is the time a mentor can
be helpful.
parents must remember its okay when their
children dont share the same sense of
national identity as they do.

Chapter 18 How Sponsoring Organizations Can Help


Provide 3-5 key points for sponsoring agencies to help a family work and live successfully in an international school setting as
well as getting them back to home country in a healthy manner.

1. How Agencies Can Help During the Third Culture Experience:


a. Have an entry team or designated employee to welcome new employees onsite.
b. Help employees evaluate schooling options using the compiled list put together before departure.
c. Establish a flexible leave policy.
d. Make provision for children who are attending school in the home country to visit parents during vacations.
e. Support international community efforts to provide ongoing expatriate family services
f. Help families prepare for repatriation and organizational reeentry.
g. Offer reentry seminars for both parents and TCKs soon after repatriation.
2. How Agencies Can Help Prior to the Overseas Assignment:
a. Make sure families know the schooling options before going overseas
b. Organizational managers need to gather information on how often and why personnel are transferred to new
locations.
3. How Agencies Can Help Their TCKs in the Long Term:
a. Support an alumni newsletter
b. Use the experience TCKs and ATCKs
c. Apologize for past organizationl mistakes.
d. Support a TCKs Journey Clarification

Chapter 19: Its Never Too Late


Why is a name important for an ATCK and their experiences?
Discovering there are legitimate reasons for their life experiences and the resulting feelings not only helps them
understand themselves better, it also normalizes the experiences.
Name their behavioral patterns
Once ATCKs realize their past has undoubtedly influenced their present life and their choices, its time for them to
make an honest assessment.
Name their Fears
Name their Losses
Name their Wounds
Name their Choices

Select 3 behavioral patterns that an ATCK should change and provide a rationale for your reasoning.
Listen and try to Understand
Comfort and be Gentle
Dont Preach
Forgive
Assume You are Needed

What do you need to learn more about in order to be a good friend/counselor for a TCK?
Listen to the story and ask good questions
Dont compare stories
Comfort is possible
Our goal is to help therapists understand the basic life patterns of the third culture experiences so they will be better
prepared to assist their TCK clients.