Running head: Gender roles in society 1

Gender Roles/Stereotypes in Society and How It Affects People Negatively

Introduction

Grace L. Denchfield

Pierce College

Author Note

This is a research paper assignment for Mr. Roberts class, English 102.
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Abstract

This research paper uses 5 sources to address the issues and effects on how gender roles

can affect society, causing society to have certain stereotypes for each role. Masculinity,

femininity, and transgenderism/transsexualism are just several gender roles in todays society.

The majority of boys have learned that to be a man, they must be strong, brave, and emotionless.

Girls are also taught things as well, but not quite the same. Girls are told to be obedient and the

care-givers for men. They are also sexualized in many ways in society today. This can cause a lot

of issues for men and women, but transgender people have it pretty bad, too.

Transgender/transsexual people are often deemed as freaks or attention-seekers.

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Gender Roles/Stereotypes in Society and How It Affects People Negatively

Introduction

Many people believe that society creates social norms, that result in stereotypes of many

different genders, ages, and races. Gender-wise, these social norms that are created, can

cause people to feel as if their capabilities correlate with their gender. This is not the case,

because there are many women and men doing things out of these stereotypes, such as

women going to work more, and men staying at home to watch the children. This is just

one example out of many. Each culture has a different definition for masculinity and

femininity, but this essay will only be about American culture. Masculine and feminine

gender roles are causing humans to view men as emotionless, brave, and the repairers,

and the women are powerless, obedient, and stay-at-home caregivers. There are also

societal norms on social media, like women wearing tons of makeup, and getting plastic

surgery to look good for men. What if there is someone who doesnt fit these norms?

What if there is a person who is both, or neither? Transgenderism/transsexualism is

happening more and more. Transgender and transsexual people often get hate because

most people dont understand wanting to have a different personal identity than what

genitalia someone was born with. Transgenderism/transsexualism, masculinity and

femininity stereotypes are affecting people more than one would think. These

expectations for each role isnt good for their health.

Masculinity

People say boys will be boys, but what does that mean? Boys will be reckless, brave

and masculine? Masculinity is basically possessing the qualities traditionally associated with
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men. Men are told to be strong, and brave, and to not cry or get over it. If these expectations

arent being fulfilled, then one will be subject to harassment and/or violence. This can be very

negative towards their health and well-being because they might feel like if they dont fit in these

standards, they are weak. This starts very early in their childhood. Many toys are marketed

specifically to boys such as racecars, action figures, and shooting games. It isnt good for the

younger children because they will grow up thinking that being into these things make a man.

In Bill Pozzobons (2011) Ted Talk, Breaking the Boys Code of Masculinity, the

speaker explains that right when boys are born, they are fit into this category where they should

be masculine. He explains how baby boys are immediately put into a blue blanket by a doctor,

and society commonly associate blue with boys. (Ted Talks Video) Overtime, the infant grows to

be a toddler, and when the toddler gets hurt, they are nurtured. This goes on until a certain point

where a parent says Youre a big boy now, you can handle it. This becomes ingrained in their

mind that they dont need anyone to handle the hardships in life, which causes them to become

strong. They start thinking that they dont need to tell anyone their emotions because theyll be

told the same thing almost every time, get over it or youre a man, real men dont cry.

Once they start getting used to not showing emotions, it starts bottling up. This can cause

many issues in their lives, such as substance abuse, physical abuse, or suicide. Substance abuse

can help men repress their feelings temporarily, until the new problem isnt bottling feelings, but

addiction. In the documentary, The Mask You Live In directed by Jennifer Siebel Newsom

(2015), Psychiatrist Dr. James Gilligan stated whether its homicidal violence or suicidal

violence, people resort to such desperate behavior only when they are feeling shame or

humiliated, or feel they would be if they didnt prove that they were real men. (The Mask You

Live In, 2015) Gilligan (2015) is saying that men usually resort to homicidal or suicidal violence
Gender roles in society 5

when they have been embarrassed, or proved unworthy of being a real man. Men that believe

they are strong will let themselves repress their emotions, but when its too much to handle, they

lash out. They take the anger out on others. This can include their children, spouses, or friends.

Maybe they try to find help. How will they know they can trust this person helping them? Maybe

the helper will say the same thing the man has heard all his life, to get over it.

People should be identified with their temperament and personality, instead of their

genitalia. In Margaret Meads (2013) book, Sex and Temperament, she talks about how

peoples stereotypes arent natural, they are constructed and that they should be generalized by

their temperament, not whats in their pants. Mead (2013) stated,

From the time that a boy was five or six, all the conscious educational effort of

the household was bent towards shaping him into an indubitable male. Every tear, every

timidity, every clinging to a protective hand or desire to continue to play with the youngest

children or with girls, was obsessively interpreted as proof that he was not going to

develop into a real man. In such a society, it is not surprising to find the berdache (pg.

712-713)

Mead (2013) is saying that ever since a boy was young, the family of this boy tries to

force him to a man. Every time he cried, was scared or wanted to play with the girls, everybody

thought that he was going to be feminine when he got older. (pg. 712-713). Mead (2013) also

talks about how in that society, a berdache is frowned upon because many fathers fear that their

son will be one. (pg. 713). There are people like berdaches nowadays, called transgenders. Boys

are conditioned, mostly by their fathers, to be classified as manly to their peers.

Men are typically supposed to have a set of rules to follow, essentially a guy code. In

Michael Kimmels Bros Before Hos: The Guy Code, he explains how the social constructs of

masculinity are problematic and men tend to follow this behavior unconsciously. (pg. 465)
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Kimmel (2013) explains what the guy code means and how boys shouldnt cry, and Its better

to be mad than sad. (pg. 465) This implies that being aggressive is desirable, which isnt true.

He also stated, Dont get madGet even. (Kimmel, 2013, pg. 465) This shows that men

should use revenge towards people who do them wrong. Kimmel (2013) also stated, Take it like

a man, which is implying that being a masochist is manly or suggesting that pain may be

good to experience. (pg.466) None of these should be true because humans were created to have

feelings and be emotionful. We are all meant to cry. Aggression, revenge, and pain wont cause

anything except emotional discomfort and distance from loved ones. The guy code is a bunch

of hooey to make men feel strong and powerful.

Ever since boys are born, they should feel as though their emotions dont matter, because

if they think it does matter, they will be deemed as weak. Feeling this way can or will

eventually cause depression, anxiety, substance abuse, physical abuse, or suicide. Boys think that

being a man means being into cars and fighting, especially at a young age. No one needs to fit

these certain expectations to be a man. Masculinity in society is very toxic for these reasons.

Femininity

Being a woman in society, you are seen as weak, obedient, and the stay-at-home

caregivers. Women are usually told to obey the men because they are the breadwinners, and

without men, you would be nothing. This makes the women feel insecure and depressed

because she feels worthless. Women can tell their feelings to others because society accepts

women expressing their feelings more than men. Crying is a sign of being weak, and people

already assume that if someone is a female, that they are weak, and vice versa with men.
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The media has a lot of what dictates femininity. People see that women should be short,

and small, while men tower over them as the strong, macho, tall man. These gender roles can be

harmful to younger girls health. Little girls see their dolls and moms wearing makeup, so they

start getting the impression that they need makeup to be pretty and look good for the man. In

Tara Culp-Russlers (2014) article, Forcing Kids to Stick to Gender Roles Can Actually Be

Harmful to Their Health, she stated that girls who enjoyed sports often avoided physical

activity at school because they assumed it wouldnt be a feminine thing to do, they worried they

might look unattractive while running, or they were mocked by their male peers for not being

good enough. The girls also put themselves on diets because they believed desirable women have

to be skinny. (Culp-Ressler, 2014) Culp-Russler (2014) is trying to say that even girls who were

into masculine things such as sports or physical activity werent bragging about them being as

capable as the guys, they avoided it because they felt they might look unattractive and manly or

feel as though they arent good enough by their male peers. Young teenage girls are getting eating

disorders so that they will fit the medias image of a woman. They start getting anorexia, bulimia,

or start purging. It can be very detrimental to their mental health and self-image.

While men are known for lusting over women, women are known to love emotionally.

This causes a lot of times where men want to be more powerful and wont take no for an answer

when having sexual intercourse with a woman. Many men believe that when women dress a

certain way, that they are asking for it, and it being rape. This isnt the case because dressing

in a way where they are showing off skin isnt asking for anything. Men tend to sexualize women

this way which can cause traumatic experiences if they feel they are being harassed. Therefore,

many women run in packs, because they fear what certain men can do in certain instances. In

Suzannah Weisss (2017) article, Seemingly Harmless Gender Stereotypes That Contribute to
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Rape Culture, she states how men usually objectify women, and how these stereotypes where

women are supposed to be pretty all the time, promotes rape culture. Weiss (2017) stated, The

notion that mens bodies are made to act and women are made to be viewed or otherwise acted

upon also encourages objectification, because an object is precisely something that is solely

acted upon. (para. 12). Weiss (2017) is saying that womens bodies were made to be observed,

looked at, and seen as an object, rather than a human being. This makes women feel as though

they are a piece of meat and a man is the predator. Men believe that their bodies are for action,

and womens bodies are for decoration. This can cause many women to be self-conscious about

themselves, and try to impress men as much as possible, but it ends up being a constant cycle.

When a woman tries to impress a man, because they feel self-conscious, a man thinks that they

are asking for it. Its a vicious cycle.

Femininity is slowly becoming more and more fake as some people will say. Women are

getting plastic surgery to look a certain way to appeal to men and get their attention, because they

feel as though society sees men superior to women. Which doesnt make much sense, because

men were born from a woman. Women are also seen very submissive, un-educated, self-

conscious, and weak. Fortunately, today, more and more women are getting into high education,

and more men are staying at home. The times are changing, slowly but surely.

Transgenderism and Transsexualism

Transgenders and transsexuals are becoming more and more frequent today. The

difference between them is that transgender refers to people who identify differently from their

biological sex, and transsexuals is a person who physically transitions from male to female or vice

versa. Before becoming a transsexual, he or she might take hormones to suppress the
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characteristics of their biological gender or to promote the characteristics of their desired gender.

To some extent, transsexuals can control traits like facial hair and breast size. They can also have

gender reassignment surgery, which is removing the biological features of their sex, and adding

the features of their desired gender. According to the Transgender Census, statistics show that

52% of males and females between the ages 25-44 transition to transgenderism. That is more than

half the transgender population.

When I was younger, around 8 years old, I saw my brother take off his shirt outside on a

hot day. My brother was my role model, and anything he did, I wanted to do. So obviously, I took

off my shirt outside as well. I got in trouble with my parents for it because girls arent allowed to

do that. I also played tons of video games, and dressed in guys clothing. I wanted to be a guy,

basically. I couldve been called masculine, although I am a girl because I had traits that

men/boys have. Someone could say I was transgender, but of course, I was too young to know

what that meant. Later, I realized it was just a phase, and I didnt want to be a guy anymore. I just

wanted to be like my brother because he was my best friend and role model.

Transgenders usually wear the opposite sexes clothing, but in the 19th century, it was

normal for boys to wear dresses and high heels. Children dressing as the opposite sex is frowned

upon in most of society. Although in the 19th century, young boys wore dresses until they reached

a certain age to enter adulthood. The reason for this was because they began learning earlier

and dressed as a miniature adult, due to the fact that back then, the life expectancy was only 30

years. In her article, In History: Why Little Boys Wore Dresses, Judy Tescher (2009) explains

the reasons that when boys were younger, in the 1800s, they wore dresses to prepare them for

adulthood. Tescher (2009) stated When boys reached this age they were breeched meaning

dressed in pants. It was an emotional time for many a mother who was losing her baby. (p. 2).
Gender roles in society 10

she is trying to say when boys were younger, they wore dresses, and when they started wearing

pants, thats when they became grown up. They started working in local factories at the age of

five. It is very different today. Boys dont usually wear dresses when they are children, unless

they want to and their parent allows them.

Transgenders and transsexuals are easily misunderstood. They can get offended easily

when someone calls them the undesired sex. In Julia Kapustas (2016) book, Misgendering and

Its Moral Contestability, she talks about how misgendering people is detrimental to their health

and cause a lot of stress on trans people. She stated, I consider the harms inflicted upon

transgender persons through "mis-gendering," that is, such deployments of gender terms that

diminish transgender persons' self-respect, limit the discursive resources at their disposal to

define their own gender, and cause them micro aggressive psychological harms. (Kapustas, pg.

502) Kapusta (2016) is saying that mis-gendering people can cause trauma and ruins the

person(s) self-respect. It makes them feel like people can define their gender, not giving the

freedom with being how they want to be. (pg. 502) Trans people feel as though their identity isnt

real and being acknowledged. They feel they must prove that they are the gender they say they

are by presenting and performing that gender far more distinctly than non-trans people. It is very

inconsiderate especially since they arent hurting anyone doing what they do. Many

transgender/transsexual people think that others are sexist, rude, and possibly judging them when

they are misgendered. Its understandable, if someone who identifies as a girl, and is biologically

a girl, is being called a man, it is very offensively impolite.

Transgendered and transsexual people are often misunderstood, and many people think

that they are just doing it for attention. In reality, they have always felt like their desired sex,

even when they were little. Some people may believe that children cross-dressing is just a phase.
Gender roles in society 11

Some transgenders have the reassignment surgery to become full transsexual. They can

somewhat decide how big they want their breasts, if they are becoming a woman. Trans people

can also decide how much facial hair they want, depending on how much testosterone they take.

They believe that if you mis-gender them, it is highly offensive and cause stress and harm to

their psychological health. Hopefully one day all genders and sexes will get along.

Conclusion

In conclusion, masculinity and femininity are very real and still happening today. Society

thinks that there should be these certain norms for men and women. Men are defined as being

strong, competent, independent, and emotionless. Women are defined as being weak, insecure,

and powerless. Both sexes learn these stereotypes at a very young age, giving boys car and

wrestling toys, and girls makeup and Barbies. If someone doesnt want to fit their biological

stereotypes, they will most likely become transgender or transsexual. Forcing someone to stick to

their gender roles can be detrimental to their health because it can cause anxiety. All types of

people are often misunderstood and self-conscious because they feel as though they cant be

themselves in society without being judged or criticized. Society treats them as freaks, although

they are human just like the rest of us. All in all, societal norms shouldnt be norms. The norms

should be everyone be themselves, and non-judgmental towards peoples appearances or feelings

(especially when men choose to express themselves). If people were less judgmental, the world

would be a better place. Luckily, it is 2017 and the times may be changing slowly.
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References

Culp-Ressler, T. (2014, August 7) "Forcing kids to stick to gender roles can actually be harmful to their

health." ThinkProgress, Retrieved from https://thinkprogress.org/forcing-kids-to-stick-to-gender-

roles-can-actually-be-harmful-to-their-health-34aef42199f2#.mb1ppa9v5

Kimmel, M. (2013) "Bros before hos: The guy code." Rereading America. Ed. Gary Colombo. Boston:

Bedford/S.

Newsom, J. (2013, December 18) The mask you live in. YouTube. Retrieved from

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hc45-ptHMxo
 Gender roles in society 13

Pozzobon, B. (2011, April 28) "TEDxIsfeld Bill Pozzobon breaking the boys code of masculinity."

YouTube. Ted Talks Web. 11 Mar. 2017. Retrieved from http://www.youtube.com/watch?

v=VDpuJXgD7Rs

Rivas, J. (2015, April 23) "Transgender Census: Who transitions, when, and where." Fusion. Web. 11

Mar. 2017. Retrieved from http://fusion.net/story/124989/transgender-census-who-transitions-

when-and-where/

Tescher, J. (2009, October 10) In history: Why little boys wore dresses. Herald Bulletin. N.p.

Retrieved from http://www.heraldbulletin.com/community/in-history-why-little-boys-wore-

dresses/article_8b2c6d1d-265d-5559-90f2-77db21696573.html

Weiss, S. (2017, January 30) "Seemingly harmless gender stereotypes that contribute to rape

culture." Everyday Feminism. Retrieved from http://everydayfeminism.com/2017/01/gender-

stereotypes-rape-culture/
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