Sean Campbell

Department of Communications
Keith Radley
April 17th, 2017

Final Analysis

Overview

The Genoves household has seen more days of peace since the the
recognition of certain behaviors, and needed practices. Previously recorded
were 12 journal entries in regards to my changing of an unwanted behavior.
This analysis serves as a final record of the pros and cons regarding the urge
to change an unwanted behavior.

Unwanted Communication Pattern

My unwanted habit was letting my emotions get the best of me to

where I fail to express, and accept the views of others. Recently there was a
problem in regards to my vehicle, and its registration status. This concerned
my mother which made her nervous, and more prone to being on edge. As
she arrived home from work one day I had used the restroom. Unfortunately,
in that time my newest puppy had pooped. My mother and I had both agreed
to take responsibility although I am the primary caretaker. I walked in on her
cleaning the spot where he had defecated, and she was automatically
showing hostility. This made me mad right away because I dont like when I
dont understand why others are mad. I also got frustrated because I
personally wanted to make her feel responsible for cleaning it. Which was
wrong.
This is a problem that gets the best of me in communicating with
others. The fact that I failed to asses my emotions, and describe my
feelings, rather than evaluate behavior to avoid frustration (PART2, Beebe,
2008). Thus leading me to be hypocritical by not wanting to allow others to
own their stuff. Tensions rose and as a result led to some words being
exchanged. These certain words were very hurtful to each other stuff, and
has left an awkward slot in the relationship. What has been said can never
escape the ears of others.
Similarly, to that incident a coworker of mine at work is a new hire. My
job can be fast paced, and requires rapid thought to execute the job
smoothly. I work the salad department which is a hard good first station to
learn. Austin my coworker is a quick learner, and takes pride in his ability to
comprehend things fast. One day as a lunch rush turned everything into
chaos tensions rose between coworkers. The requirement of everyones work
ethic to be on point, and to deliver each product from their stations was quite
hectic. Putting a lot of stress on everyone. Unfortunately, this stress got to
Austin more than I would have liked it to. The lunch rush slammed the salad
section sending orders faster then we could move. Barley hanging on by a
thread. As I encouraged Austin he had some hiccups while trying to appease
me. I told him his mess ups were okay, and to be more aware of the prompts
on the screen. He took the critique very well and proceeded with the salads.
As the rush continued however I found more imperfections that werent
acceptable with the salads. These imperfections would surely cause a
customer complaint, and would result in a scolding from the manager. I
expressed my opinion on how he needed to be more consciously aware as I
was critiquing more of his salads. Finally, a salad came up in which he had to
re-do 3 times. I got a little flustered as I rushed over to show him a correct
method. He observed yet still messed up again, for the stress and agony of
ticket times ringing was affecting him. He messed up again, and I tried not to
let my face show it. Austin you got to slow down a little, and these ticket
times are what they are I said to Austin preparing another salad. He started
another and messed up. This final mess up caused Austin to get hostile to
me, and I didnt understand at the time. I should have been other oriented
(Beebe PART 1, Pg. 25.) to recognize that Austins frustration is the same any
other would experience. Instead of practicing that I got upset because Austin
got upset. Continuing to get more upset, and I got more upset. To where this
anger was starting to become personal. What could have been solved by a
simple recognition of his anger turned into something sour. For I let my
emotions regarding Austin get the best of me, and then it got the best of him
again. The rush ended, and everything went back to normal. Austin and I
made peaceful relations, but things are different for how we addressed each
other. Bantering things like Well maybe you should be aware or How
about you get off my case, youre not doing much anyway. These things can
never be unsaid, and live with people forever.

Strategies

Implementing my strategies to certain situations regarding my

unwanted behavior was challenging. In my previous record of my progress in
applying these concepts I labeled two strategies, and know I will include a
third strategy. Disclosing my feelings (Beebe PART 2, pg. 181) is to describe
the situation from your perspective, and let the other person know how I feel.
Given from the definition in order to assess a situation I must asses myself.
This strategy is to help me build empathy helping me be other oriented
(Beebe, Pg. 25), and avoid long harangues about the other persons
treatment. Instead of reacting to the emotions of another individual I must
disclose myself. Instead of reacting to my mothers personal emotions which
affect others; disclosing myself allows me to say I really dont appreciate
how you channel your anger of something else unto me, can we talk? which
is more efficient.
By being aware that you are becoming angry and emotionally volatile
(Beebe PART 2, pg. 241) Is one characteristic of people who lose it is that
they let their emotions get the best of them. In order to maintain cordial
communication, and to maintain my interpersonal relationship being aware
of myself is critical. When Im around a loved one, or a person I truly care
about their words really affect me. I take great passion in connecting with
people who are close to me, and I take things literally. I dont like when other
people are disturbed, angry, or sad. The books definition gives the
characteristic of people losing it of letting their emotions get to them. In
choosing this strategy I thought of many situations where I reacted to
someone else, or something else. In an instant I could be on an emotional
purge where I went from being happy to frustrated. Then I end up saying
something that I truly regret, and doing something to possibly affect my
personal relationship. The book definition describes these uncensored, and
unbridled responses to rarely enhance the quality of a relationships. I took
this strategy into consideration, and implemented it from my last record of
situations. My emotional outburst may make me feel better yet the
repercussions do not, and Im getting nowhere. Recognizing it firsthand can
eliminate a progressive argument.
Making a conscious decision whether about to express your anger
(Beebe PART 2, pg. 242) rather than letting anger and frustration build up to
erupt out of control, make a conscious decision whether to express it. The
definition implies that rather letting your pride overcome you by keeping
things in you should express it. There is no denying that anger or frustration
is expressed in interpersonal relationships. This strategy is applied to my
current unwanted behavior for I am prideful. I do keep things in, and when
more severe situations occur other emotions get expressed too. In thinking
about if I should truly express something it would help me feel better
possibly doing it. Therefore, less emotion is kept inside me, and my need to
lash is reduced.
Constraints

The constraints I encountered were more personal. A battle of keeping

certain emotions subdued while Implementing strategy. Sometimes in the
heat of the moment it can be challenging to asses yourself rationally. The
time period of someones life can also play a key factor. Whatever person
and their stuff is going thorough may affect how challenging it can be to get
through. The only constraints can be yourself. If you are willing, and they are
willing then its mutual. Therefore, the way something can start is with you.

Implementation

Applying my new behaviors was certainly challenging but worthwhile.

In applying my strategy for disclosing my feelings I forced myself to talk. It
could be one word, or my whole explanation of my emotions. My goal in
implementing myself was to talk. If I talked I could become more comfortable
where I could disclose myself. In disclosing myself I would feel better, and my
recipients would understand where I was coming from. Mutual understanding
would be achieved, and less argument would occur. An example one
afternoon after work I was upset. A new puppy means teaching new tricks,
and behaviors. While trying to enforce these behaviors I must take other
precautions. He is teething, and shoes cannot be a subject for satisfaction. I
put everything away neatly in a drawer, and a sign saying no shoes
beware. I came home to find my mothers shoes on the ground next to my
puppy. My mother doesnt like her things personally being touched or
affected. In removing the shoes, I wanted to prevent any feelings of anger or
frustration. Since I was having a cloudy day that time, and not in the mood
for speech I disclosed myself by saying hey. A simple hey was great but
not enough. A short period of silence quickly passed until I awkwardly said
Im upset. This was very simple indeed, but was a breakthrough for me for
I felt better. No inclination to go off. Small baby steps are essential even if I
need to say small sentences.
By being aware of my anger, and becoming volatile I was able to
prevent it by implementing my strategy by first taking a moment. In
situations of tension, and conflict I found myself to stop briefly. That brief
moment was 10 seconds for others, but a good 10 minutes for me. Allowing
to me consciously think about my frustration, and leading me to express my
emotions. I found myself when implementing this strategy getting weird
responses. These responses included why are you being awkward, and are
you getting more upset because youre quiet? However, discovering that
this has helped reduce conflict in certain scenarios I will continue to practice.
Thinking about the root of my anger each time will allow me to get to he
point of my explanations of my feelings.
In correlation with these ones I did decide to add another. Deciding
whether to express my feelings, and anger was a big part for me. I am very
prideful in my independence, and dont look to people for moral support. Its
not good to keep things bottled in. In result of keeping those things in they
come out in other situations that arent relevant. I would often be more upset
than I really should be due to my lack of expression. In my decision of
consciously choosing to not express myself it affected how I communicated.
By being aware of my anger, and deciding whether to express it correlated
with each other. Almost a 2 in 1 strategy that I could use in implementing my
new wanted behavior. From attacking the root of my frustration, and then
consciously deciding to express or not helped me greatly in my relationships.
This allowed to me to dictate whether if some emotions were worth sharing,
and if theyre worth it for the long run.

Results

The positive outcome diminishes the negative consequences

experienced throughout this project. While implementing strategies for
change I experienced some change in behavior others as well. I would get
negative comments when personally trying to conquer a personal emotion in
conflict. What is that youre doing? or so you want to ignore me? The
trouble was trying to get others to understand my wanting for change. Their
perception of what I was doing was different than from what I thought. An
example of what I thought was a good strategy in assessing myself was
mistaken for ignoring someone. Or perhaps I found myself personally
struggling to conquer other emotions trying to fight my strategies. In result
of some struggle my household is more peaceful. Repetition helps practice
make perfect, and thats what I applied to my strategies. My plans turned out
as the theory from the text would led me to have expect was because of
procedure. I personally think form repeating the strategies that I was able to
have a like outcome depicted from the text. I am now more at peace with
myself in being able to analyze the root of anger. It has helped me to take
minute that I need to take a breath, and using that breath to clear my head.
Eventually my peers had to accustom to a newer approach on how I was
addressing things. Not everyone can immediately adapt to change. Yet, as a
result of my perseverance my results were positive.
Recommendation

In the success of changing my unwanted behavior I will continue to take this

course of action. This course of action will be a starting block for me to
eventually modify my actions. This project has allowed me to create a base,
and build up from it by adding experience. Those experiences from using this
course of action will help me grow. Giving me new insight to eventually
modify my actions. Modifying my actions will help me discover new ways
possibly in addressing situations. Thus leading to the improvement of
physical, and emotional health. My stuff will be clear with improved
relationships. Positive relationships with other have direct benefits to your
overall health and happiness (Beebe PART1, pg.6). If I need to continue to
follow a course of action thats proved to be helpful in my life, I will. Id rather
be known as someone who wanted to try to establish healthy relationships,
than someone whod rather let unhealthy behaviors tear them down.

Sources
Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond. (2008.) Interpersonal Communication: Relating to
others

the d. Boston: Pearson Education/Allyn & Bacon.