Sean Campbell

Department of communications
Professor Radley
Interpersonal change journal

In beginning my journal, I will be recording my development of learning to

express, and evaluate behavior to avoid frustration. I am attempting to
describe my emotions, and be other-oriented. Managing emotions is key part
in maintaining clear effective communication. This journal provides a
summary of events in chronological order in my attempts and failures of
trying to improve.

February 2nd 2017:

Today is the day that I talked to my old best friend. Things change as you
age, and relationships tension. Hes been incarcerated for 3 years now and I
didnt expect a call. Made me uneasy. Today my puppy had hidden a 100-
dollar sandal belonging to my mother. As she came home she made a big
upset which made me upset. I personally dont like tension or aggravation,
and like a snake I strike first. I attempted to use strategy (managing
emotions) asking myself why I was upset, therefore leading me to ask my
mother why shes upset. A chain reaction. Her answer was just but horribly
loud. And I lost my nerve. And left.

February 3rd 2017:

At work I notice a habit of my co-workers that makes me upset. I wanted to

snap at her but rather than doing that I wanted to talk to her privately. Taking
orders for customers is tedious especially in a rush, where many things need
to be done. In our work environment everyone helps everyone. There is no
permanent role. Rather than getting mad at her for turning on the second
register than cleaning the tables. Executing the strategy of plan your
message was mine today. (Beebe Part 2, pg242)

February 5th 2017:

Today I noticed john kept stopping to get soda refills. I understand that work
can be tedious but I dont think its necessary to constantly get them. He has
a grill to run, and tickets are piling up making orders 10 minutes late. It
made me angry and I said something. I commented thats a lot of bathroom
breaks which I thought was snooty. I stopped to evaluate my emotional
frustration in johns drinking. Rather than saying something more severe as it
continued I evaluated my emotions. Rather than letting it sweep me like a
wave, I became aware that I am becoming angry, and emotional volatile.
Which helped me make a logical consensus on why I was feeling that way.
Because I care about customer service, and the satisfaction of others. In
which happens in receiving food. (Beebe Part 2, pg. 241)

February 6th, 2017

Today my mother was supposed to be home to watch Apollo (dog). She

usually gets off at 4 which allows me to be at my 4 o clock class. But I came
back to find my little guy all alone having torn up his toy. This made me
angry and I began gunny-sacking messages of how this kind of thing hasnt
been good in the past. Rather than waiting address it at home further I
apologized shortly after. In seeking to understand why you are angry and
emotional I concluded that my little guy needed a companion. Yet my mom
needs to teach students. In using this strategy, it helped me use Plan a
message wo discuss further matters. (Beebe Part 2, 242)

February 9th 2017

Breathe helped me stop in my tracks from getting upset from a coworker

trying to raise their voice at me. Which allowed me to be rational in
assessing my emotions which led to zero conflict. Miscommunication is
dangerous. (Beebe Part 2, pg. 242)

February 10th 2017

Becoming other-oriented allowed me to remain at peace in situation with

my girlfriend. Her way of doing certain things differs from me. Practicing this
strategy allowed me to realize my girlfriends ethnicity, and that my
perspective is totally different. In her culture when speaking Spanish there
are certain words that are grammatically different from what I hear. Although
what Ive heard is more articulately correct, it doesnt mean my girlfriends
interpretation is any less different or correct. (Beebe Intro, pg. 25)

February 13th

Today I broke the ice in discussing me moving out. My mother seemed a little
disheartened by it, and some frustration. I had to describe how I felt about
the current situation. Assessing myself and explaining my stance on leaving.
The conversation was brief but I thought id try the next time. Disclosing.
(Describe Beebe Chapter 6, pg. 181)

February 16th 2017

Today I was upset that my girlfriend didnt acknowledge my message. I
wanted to take her to a movie but she was busy. I acted like nothing
happened, which made matters worse. I failed to analyze my feelings, and
describe them. Instead I gave one word responses to the questions she
asked me in regards to my day, and what was going on with me. This made
matters worse because my attitude affected her, and I could never get my
point across. Next time I will work on being other-oriented to understand
perspective while working on expression. (Beebe Part 2, pg. 240) (Beebe
Intro, pg. 25)

February 17 2017

I pulled myself over today. I got angry, and before it was too late I was
blaring my horn, and driving crazy. Bad day honestly. I assessed my behavior
a little late, and found myself on the side. Just to let those people pass and
get away. A wrong lane changes and almost collision led me to act out rather
than evaluate my behavior. I was scared, which made me upset. Next time
Ill work on overemotional reactions (Beebe pg. 134)

February 19th 2017

My mother addresses me like Im still 10 years old. Shes explained its just
being a mother but its getting too much. We had an altercation that was
never resolved. I should have listened more but the way she was addressing
me made ma upset. I understand my windows and doors need to be locked.
But thats something I do always. I understand the concern. Instead of fully
hearing her out I butted it in with what I was frustrated with. I should have
just listened all the way even if its something I know like the back of my
hand. Yes, safety is an issue. I will work on more listening skills (Beebe
Chapter 5, pg. 128)

February 21st 2017

Today I wanted everyone to know I was upset in my house. Although I would

reply no Im not when clearly my face expressions showed everything.
Instead of trying to have everyone guess, and expect everyone to just know I
need to work on describing feelings and overemotional reactions which
will help me break free. I cant expect everyone to know how Im feeling then
acting out because no one get the memo. If I practice these strategies, I
think it will help me feel more comfortable. (Beebe pg.133) (Beebe Part 2)

February 23rd 2017

Today I got into an altercation with my friend. Over something borrowed.

Although this time I didnt let myself get out of control. Instead I evaluated
emotions, and described a certain feeling. Although describing this feeling
led to more aggravation. I feel good in taking steps, although I lost my cool
once again after I described my feelings. My expression led him to become
upset which I became upset. I like this strategy but I feel there Is more.
Maybe I can work on being determined not to be angry. (Beebe pg. 244
section 2)

February 28h 2017

Well today is my birthday and Im coming to a conclusion. Somewhat. I

dont think my problem is just expression, but with anger. I get mad at
certain things that are said, or how they are communicated. Ive been alone
today You find that out a lot when you age. At least for me. My dad called
me out of nowhere. I think its interesting how he can call me on a special
occasion because he feels obligated. As we talked he kept saying things to
upset me. Although these things werent even directed towards me. His tone,
and how he was addressing me made me upset. I eventually ended the
conversation after what we can call catching up. Also I felt trapped
because I was so frustrated that I was giving my one word responses. I
couldnt really express how I felt ever since that day we had a falling out. I
think my anger ruins things for myself.

Summary:

My progress so far has been good, and bad. I would for the most part say
good. I say this because I am becoming more consciously aware of how Im
acting, and I dont feel I was there before. Although Im conscious in how Im
acting, there are moments where I let it all go. Usually something thats little,
but major can have a real impact on me. Whether its something someone
says, their tone of saying it, saying something but meaning something else,
not being able to express myself, and getting frustrated with others if they
can express their self.

My goals for the remainder of the semester are too keep calm. Thats
number one. I will begin using the other-oriented strategy to help me be
more mindful. (Beebe Part 1, pg.34) (Beebe Pg.25). Also, I will be
implementing strategies in relation to anger management, and
understanding my anger. I would revise my communication error by saying I
have trouble with expression and anger management In the section part
2. (Beebe, Beebe & Redmond, pg. 240-245)

References:
Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond. (2008.) Interpersonal Communication: Relating to
others

^the d. Boston: Pearson Education/Allyn & Bacon.