Exploring Development

Ashley Frame

Psychology 1010

March 25, 2017

 During the life of an average adolescent, there are two very important key leaders in their life.

These leaders, or care givers, are called Mom and Dad. Throughout life, Mom and Dad aid in providing

the basics, such as shelter, safety, and food. Although these basics play a huge part in human survival,

these only fulfill our physiological and safety needs.

According to Psychologist Abraham Maslows Hierarchy of Needs, once the basic needs are met,

one can move up on the hierarchy of needs. The next level is ones psychological needs, which are esteem

needs, belongingness, and love needs. Then later, after those are met, one reaches self-actualization. But

jumping back to belongingness, and esteem needs, Mom and Dad play a huge role with providing these.

Parents play an important part in helping their children reach self-actualization by providing the

basic, and psychological needs. Along with the roles parents play in a childs life, there are different

parenting styles that they can use to rear their children. Developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind

came up with the four parenting styles, which are authoritative, neglectful, permissive, and authoritarian.

In alignment with my experience with Exploring Development, I observed my in-laws. The three

families are completely opposite of each other in their parenting style. Out of the four parenting styles, the

three families individually fell under authoritative, neglectful, and authoritarian.

Authoritative parenting, is recognized as the most effective of the parenting styles. Stated from a

research article by the, Developmental Psychology at Vanderbilt, Authoritative parents are easy to

recognize, as they are marked by the high expectations that they have of their children, but temper these

expectations with understanding a support for their children as well. In other words, these parents have

high standards for their children, in the way they present themselves, and who they will eventually will

become. These parents help effectively guide their children, to their greatest potential. With a supportive,

and stable upbringing. In contrast to Maslows Hierarchy of needs, it is very likely that the authoritarian

parenting style, has the most success with children reaching their self-actualization.

The first family is a Two-Parent Nuclear Family with three kids. Observing the parental

interaction, I concluded the parenting style to be Authoritative. The children are young, but behaved in a

controlled, and polite manner. When tempted by the other kids to break house hold rules, they would
always look at their parents before realizing that they probable should not. But even when getting carried

away in the fun, the parents would step in, talk to them, and say what they were doing was not an inside

game, or inside voice, and then give them a warning. Neither the mother or father yelled or gave them a

warning without effectively communicating first. I also noticed that, no matter what, each parent would

make sure that they gave their love and attention to each child. The parents, as well as the children, kept

the household rules. With only observing their conduct, I believe the parents kept the household rules to

be effective examples for their children. In doing so, they sat in their chairs at the table and worked

together to put food on plates. There was also a set schedule of when they would go out to dinner and

when they would leave in order to make it home on time to put the children to bed.

The neglectful parenting style is just as it sounds. The difference this style has from the other

parenting styles is that most parents do not start out being this way. Normally it is caused by the

childrens behavior. As Developmental Psychology at Vanderbilt states, If a parent recognizes

themselves as a neglectful parent, or if a friend recognizes that they may know a neglectful parent, it is

important to understand that those parents (and the children involved in the situation) need assistance so

that they can get back on track to having a healthy and communicative relationship within the family.

Another way to look at neglectful parenting is there are circumstances causing both sides to act out. These

circumstances may be, a divorce, single parenting, child misbehavior, financial problems, or even an

immature parent. No matter the situation, the effects of neglectful parenting may be long lasting. The

reason being that because there was neglect, meaning no love or care, there is damage in the relationship

between the child and parent. The relationship a child forms with their parent is crucial to teaching the

child how to form relationships with other people. The child will not only struggle forming strong

relationships, but also have a harder time trusting the people whom they form one with.

The second family is a divorced single parent family with three children. The mother (sister in-

law) is bulimic and has anorexia. During her pregnancies she had these disorders, causing her oldest to be

diagnosed with Down syndrome, and her other two children to be borderline Down syndrome. While
observing this family, the children were very loud during dinner and their mom was upstairs not eating, of

course. While their mother was upstairs, not taking care of her children, the rest of the family was trying

to. The children do not follow instructions and do not communicate well at all with the adults. Because of

the mothers neglect, it is very likely that during the childrens critical period of development, there was

not enough social interaction or language learning. Proof of this thought, is that the children are in speech

learning classes. Even when interacting with them, they would rather point or make weird noises that a

toddler would make than say actual words. In alignment with the quote stated above, it is important to

understand that those parents need assistance so that they can get back on track to having a healthy and

communicative relationship within the family. The whole extended family and friends have helped

support and take care of this family. In spite of their efforts there has been little success. But with constant

help, we hope to correct the parenting style this mother has. In contrast to the first family, these children

have their basic needs fulfilled, but do not yet have all of their psychological needs met. They have many

relationships, but not all are healthy ones.

The authoritarian parenting style is a very structure based upbringing. According to Vanderbilts

study, Authoritarian parents allow for little open dialogue between parent and child and expect children

to follow a strict set of rules and expectations. This sounds like these parents think, My way or the

highway. In comparison to Authoritative parenting, Authoritarian parenting is all of the structure and

expectations, without the love and support provided by authoritative parenting. Although the childrens

basic needs are met, their psychological needs are still lacking. Depending on the situation, there is only a

possibility of the psychological needs being met. Their esteem needs which are, Prestige and feeling of

accomplishment, are happening. In a way, the belongingness and love needs that are the intimate

relationships and friends, are also being met as well. The child may have a good relationship with their

parents, but it could also be a self-proving relationship. In other words, only through the childs success,

the parents love follows. Therefore, with a small possibility a child might reach actual self-actualization,

through authoritarian parenting.

 The last family I observed is a Nuclear family with two children. The mother is a lawyer, so that

seems to make her a little bit up tight or more vigilant. Both of her children are in Charter Schools and are

very bright. According to recent studies from Vanderbilt, Authoritarian parents allow for little open

dialogue between parent and child and expect children to follow strict set of rules and expectations. They

usually rely on punishment to demand obedience or teach a lesson. This family is not perfect. And I

know the mother wants the best for her kids. But with both parents working, the only thought they have is

to make their children succeed in life as much as they have. At dinner, the children would constantly be

trying to test their mom and test her authority. More than once the mother would say, because I said so.

That is not sufficient communication. She would not make time to listen to what they wanted. So her

children would do their best to rebel against her rules. She would force them to eat things they did not

like. She would yell and they would scream back. In this observation, I concluded that she was meeting

her children basic needs, and most of their psychological needs. The belongingness and love needs were

lacking. I could see the children reaching self-actualization, but not to its full extent.

In conclusion, from all my observations, I realized the right and wrongs to parenting styles. But in

observing all of them, I have realized, how the parents were raised can have play a huge role in what sort

of parenting style they end up raising their children by. All of them had their strong points, and they all

have their personal struggles. In the end, every parent wants their child to learn, grow, and succeed. Its

just that every parent has their own way of helping their children reach the self-actualization. In learning

more in depth, and applying Maslows Hierarchy Needs, Family Functions, and Parenting Styles, I have

really been able to understand these topics more in real world application.
 Works Cited

1. Berger, Kathleen Stassen; Invitation to the Life Span: Third Edition; Rachel Losh One New York
Plaza - Suite 4500; New York, NY 1004-1562; 2016
2. McLeod, Saul; Maslows Hierarchy of Needs; Updated 2007; March 19, 2017;
https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html
3. Mgbemere, Bianca and Tells, Rachel; Types of Parenting Styles and How to Identify Yours;
December 10, 2013; March 19, 2017;

https://my.vanderbilt.edu/developmentalpsychologyblog/2013/12/types-of-parenting-

styles-and-how-to-identify-yours/