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Nick Soukup

Final Essay

Each essay that I have written this year has been a distinct way I used

to increase my writing ability. In essays such as the Slavery essay and The

Things They Carried, growths in themes such as body paragraphs and valid

arguments are easily identifiable. Throughout my Junior Year, I have gained

experience and grown in topics such as connecting my topic sentences to my

thesis statement and obtaining sufficient supporting evidence, yet I still must

improve upon forming conclusion sentences.

One of my greatest strengths acquired throughout this year is being

able to connect my topic sentences with my thesis statement. In my

American Dream essay, I discussed how the gap in IQ levels affect the

American Dream through my thesis statement: The American Dream is

fading away from the U.S., and is more applicable in other countries due to

the gap in wages and IQ levels caused by economic social classes

(American Dream Essay). I connected my topic sentences to my thesis

statement, but only to an extent, specifically in this topic sentence: Other

countries have a higher standard living conditions and access to education,

which allows peoples IQ to be higher in the country (American Dream

Essay). While the topic sentence related to the thesis, it was still in need of

improvement. In my most recent essay, The Things They Carried, I was

effectively able to connect my topic sentences with my thesis. My thesis,

OBrien uses a mixture of plot, setting, and character to effectively explain

the hardships of the war (The Things They Carried Essay), set solid points

for my body paragraphs to broaden on. One example of a topic sentence:

OBrien combines character and setting in the chapter Night Life to show

how much the setting of a story can change a character (The Things They

Carried Essay), directly connected my main point of the paragraph with my

thesis statement, and also began to discuss why OBrien does this. This is

one of the few barriers that I have subdued throughout this year.

Another obstacle I have overcome and mastered over the past year is

finding ample supporting evidence to back up my main argument. In my SEE

essay about crew, I supplied sufficient evidence, however, some of it was

unnecessary and did not aid my main point. For example, my thesis

statement was: People should row crew because it is an astounding

experience and keeps one in good physical condition (SEE Essay). I followed

this with evidence such as: The coxswain steers and maintains the direction

of the boat, as well as commanding the speed and pace of the boat, while

the rowers provide the strength and power to move the it (SEE Essay). This

information, as valid as it may be, did not strengthen my leading argument.

In my Slavery essay, I improved greatly in my ability to find helpful

supporting evidence, my thesis statement being: The mistreatment that the

slaves received was extreme, however, many slaves remained pure and

good-hearted throughout the abuse (Slavery Essay). I supported this

statement with viable evidence such as: When Tom was being beaten to
death by the two overseers, he touched their hearts and told them that they

could be saved, and that they can learn to stop being cruel and wicked

(Slavery Essay). Supporting evidence is essential for backing up an argument

and is an important to know where and what evidence to search for.

Although I have grown in many areas, one aspect of writing that I still

must improve upon is conclusion sentences. Throughout each of my essays,

my conclusion sentences are generally the weakest parts in the writing. In

my Slavery essay, my conclusion sentences, for example: He sacrificed his

life to help Cassy escape the plantation, refusing to tell Legree of Cassys

location and was beaten to death (Slavery Essay), concluded the main idea

of the paragraph, but did not effectively move the topic to the next body

paragraph. Being the greatest weakness of mine in writing essays, I must

improve on conclusion sentences.

Supporting evidence and topic sentences are essential aspects to an

essay and are both hurdles that I have surpassed. I have been able to take

my previous essays and use them to make my current writing stronger.

Despite the fact that my conclusion sentences are poor, I still have time to

improve. I will try my hardest during my Senior year to become the best

writer I can be.