Erica Endris

ENG 111_44

Prof. Intawiwat

Feb. 3, 2017

I Believe in Gods Peace

In 2014 an unexpected life changing event landed on my doorstep. It was then that I

began to understand the value of life and how quickly my life was changed at a moments notice.

I was left with the feeling of disbelief and the thought of how could this be? I believed in Gods

peace but at that moment I was not sure anymore.

My, then, twelve-year-old niece Grace was diagnosed with a rare bone cancer. I

remember sitting in the doctors office with Graces mother, who is my sister, along with other

family members and the doctor explaining what type of cancer Grace had been diagnosed with.

The paralyzing fear that overcame me was nothing I had experienced in my lifetime. It felt as if

time had stopped even though the outside world was moving as usual. It was then that my belief

was tested to the very core.

My first encounter was after Grace had her biopsy I went along with the others to get

something to eat because Grace insisted that she was hungry. While the food was the last thought

on the rest of our minds, you would just have to know Grace when it came to food. I proceeded

to go in and set down with the others, when shortly thereafter the waitress comes to the table and

says I dont know what is going on here but, God spoke to me and said to tell you that

everything is going to be ok. She leaves and then a woman from across the restaurant comes

over to the table and says She felt led by God to come and tell Grace that her sixteen-year-old
son had battled cancer, and that she just needed to trust in the Lord, that he would give her the

peace she needed. I was amazed because neither of these women could have known the

situation. As I sat there, I thought to myself, this is Gods peace.

There were moments throughout Graces journey where I would find myself questioning

my belief. I would walk through the halls on the eleventh floor and look around to only see the

pain and suffering of other children and family members, and ask, God why? At those times it

all seemed so senseless and I was not able to wrap my mind around it. I would have to remind

myself that there are no guarantees in life. I would think about Grace, and how strong she was,

and how she never questioned or asked why me, but it wasnt until later, that I knew, why she

had never questioned or asked why.

The most profound moment throughout Graces journey was in October of 2015 when she

had a hemorrhagic stroke. This meant that cancer had spread to her brain. Grace was taken to the

nearest emergency room where I and other family members were told this is the beginning of the

end and that they did not expect her to live through the night. Grace was then transported to

Levines Childrens Hospital where she had spent months of her journey receiving her ongoing

treatments. It was there that I, along with other family members was told that Grace was not

going to make it through the night, they had even called a Chaplin to come in to help my family

through the process.

Grace remained in the emergency room for three hours and to the doctors surprise

Graces heart rate and oxygen levels never changed. At that point, they made a call to move

Grace to the ICU, and upon arrival Graces numbers showed she was improving. The doctors

told my family and myself to not be encouraged or have any false hope because it could all
change within a moments notice. Grace's numbers continued to improve and by 7 am Grace

opened her eyes for the first time and spoke. This completely amazed the doctors.

By the next day, Grace was moved from ICU to the eleventh floor where she was able to

move her arms and legs, she even got up from the bed to use the restroom on her own. The

doctors had no explanation for what had happened and openly admitted that they had done

nothing to save her life because there was nothing they could have done.

Though Grace passed away at the age of fourteen God provided me with the peace I

needed. He provided it through those who was led to my family and myself, the sense of

calmness that Grace carried within herself, and by him showing me, that he was in control that

night at the hospital. Although there is an overwhelming sadness that still consumes me from

time to time. God continues to give me peace in knowing the pain and suffering she went

through is over. I will forever carry the memories of her in my heart and she will always be

remembered as Amazing Grace.

You see, faith means believing in something. No different from a person who believes in

themselves, the reason they believe is because they have faith. I believe in Gods peace because I

have faith. No one has to understand it because its a belief, and a belief is something personal,

and this is my personal belief.