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Bennett Serchen
2016 November 11
After learning concepts from the text and engaging in class discussion, I have discovered
personal identity of nonverbal communication has been continuously changing and developing
over the past few years. Although I have always been confident in my communication skills, it
has improved throughout college by taking communication classes that make me more aware of
how I act and present myself. I will always strive to be the best at everything I do and respect all
of those that I meet, so it is imperative to learn how my nonverbal behaviors reflect that. I have
been able to use nonverbal communication to reflect my personal identity through appearance
and adornment, vocal qualities, and kinesics. Through analysis of the Nonverbal Communication
textbook and the video Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are, I have been able to gain a
greater understanding about the influence of nonverbal communication and potential ways to
One of the ways that I best utilize nonverbal communication is through the use of
appearance and adornment. Unfortunately, human beings continuously judge and analyze one
another. The way in which an individual looks and acts plays a vital role in how they are
perceived by others. As the textbook states, People often place considerable weight on first
impressions, which are largely a function of how people look (Burgoon, J. K., Guerrero, L. K.,
& Floyd, K., 2016, p. 80). Unfortunately, first impressions are incredibly difficult to change once
the initial assumptions are made. In addition to this, people that are attractive and present
themselves in a positive way are perceived as better people. Due to this theory, I developed the
idea of Well-Dressed Wednesday, where I dress professionally. The idea of this day has spilled
over into other days throughout the week, so I continuously get praised for always dressing
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nicely. It has gotten to the point where if I wear sweatpants to class, some people think that
something is either physically or emotionally wrong with me. The theory that is demonstrated
through this is called the halo effect, which demonstrates that beautiful people are perceived as
more friendly and competent than average-looking people (Burgoon, J. K., Guerrero, L. K., &
Floyd, K., 2016, p. 83). Personally, I understand that the halo effect is being applied to myself
perception of myself. Each day, I wear a set of Lokai bracelets and a necklace with a few
pendants around the chain. Both of these pieces of adornments reflect a piece of my identity that
I like others to know. The black bead of the Lokai holds mud from the Dead Sea to represent the
lows in life, whereas the white bead of the Lokai carries water from Mount Everest to represent
the highs in life. The rest of the beads are clear because each person has their own story of
balance to tell. The reason that I wear these bracelets is because I believe that all things in life,
both the good and the bad, happen for a reason. The basis of this belief also connects with the
other piece of adornment: my faith. On the necklace that I wear, I have a cross pendant that I
received around the time of my confirmation, as well as a cross pendant with Our Father
written in Italian that I received during the Franciscan Pilgrimage in my sophomore year of
college. My faith has played a significant role in the development of myself and the way that I
communicate. These pieces of adornments help convey a part of myself that I want others to
perceive.
Another communication skill that I utilize is the use of vocal techniques and kinesics
when speaking to others. One of the moments that I noticed the importance of this
communication technique was from a teacher that I met in high school. Mrs. Fugate, my English
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11 teacher and AFS club advisor, was one of the best communicators with her bosses and other
authority figures. According to the text, micro-communication skills include active listening,
asking clarifying questions, praising, paraphrasing, and describing feelings and behaviors
(Verderber, 2013, p. 22). Whether she was speaking to the superintendent or speaking to a fellow
teacher, Mrs. Fugate has always demonstrated her micro-communication skills with ease. In
addition, she always appeared attentive and considerate when speaking with others. By doing
this, she made others feel that their emotions was valid and reasonable. After seeing how well
this communication tactic worked for her, I started to implement these techniques into my
communication style and it has paid off tremendously. I have been able to have incredible
conversations with superiors that I would not have been able to have if I did not learn the proper
skills during my time in high school. The skills that Mrs. Fugate presented with proper listening
was vital to my skills as an effective communicator. Although the use of listening is not a
Cardinal Stritch, I hold a number of leadership positions around the University, so it is important
to have confidence. There are some moments that I do not feel 100% confident with my abilities,
but I still need to act in the role I hold. In this situation, I can utilize the technique that the
speaker addressed in the video Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are. In this presentation,
the speaker stated that rather than faking it until you make it, you need to fake it until you
become it. When a person is in in a stressful or difficult situation, an individual can use a variety
of power poses to enhance their self-confidence. I have been able to use this idea effectively in
some of the leadership roles that I have taken on, and I have realized that I have a tremendous
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amount of skills that I would not have recognized if I did not put myself into these situations.
Through the use of kinesics, I have been able to enhance my self-confidence with a simple
Even though there are a wide variety of factors that contribute to quality nonverbal
communication, I realize that I have a wide range of skills and techniques that contribute to my
personal identity. After learning about appearance and adornment, vocal qualities and kinesics, I
have learned skills on how to utilize these factors to improve my communication technique.
Although it is difficult to control how people judge you, there are ways that you can portray a
positive appearance using some of the concepts addressed throughout the Nonverbal
Communication textbook and the video, Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are.
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References
Burgoon, J. K., Guerrero, L. K., & Floyd, K. (2016). Nonverbal Communication. New York, NY:
Routledge.
Cuddy, A. (2016, November 7). Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are. Speech presented at
TED Talk.
Verderber, K., & Verderber, R. (2013). Inter-Act: Interpersonal Communication (13th ed.). New