SON PREFERENCE IN AFGHANISTAN 1

Introduction

Son preference is the phenomenon where parents value their sons more than their

daughters because of social, cultural, economic, and political factors. In the case of Afghanistan,

and commonly in other south Asian countries, all of these factors have been contributing to the

intensity of son preference which leads to gender inequality, social injustices, family violence,

skewed sex ratio and reproductive coercion. The sex ratio of Afghanistan is 1.07 (World Bank,

2012) which means there are significantly more men than female in adult population. Over the

last couple of decades, Afghanistan and other Asian countries have experienced distorted sex

ratios at birth also known as SRB, which demonstrates disparity between males and females in

the population. In many parts of the world, women are abused if they bear girl child which

significantly hampers their health and the family. Son preference is a complex and equally

crucial issue in Afghanistan because it impacts both the males and females of the population

directly or indirectly. This paper will reflect upon this complex phenomenon of son preference,

its causes particularly in Afghanistan, and the impact it has made in the country.

Culture and Traditions

When we closely observe the concept of son preference, we see that historically, these

factors have played a crucial role in perpetuating the mindset that sons are more valuable than

daughters. Starting with the family name, like many other patriarchal culture, Afghan culture

strongly believes that sons are the assets who carry family names for generations and maintain

the prestige of their ancestors. Daughters on the other hand are considered to be distant to

original family name because she later will be married off and hence will carry another family

name. This system has strongly been weakening social and economic ties with daughters natal

family encouraging them to prioritize sons over daughters.

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Marriage is another important key which incapacitates the relations of daughters with

their parents in Afghanistan. Unlike other south Asian culture, dowry is not popular in Afghan

culture. Instead, Mahr, an amount of money or other property given from the groom to the father

of the bride, or in his absence her oldest brother is eminent practice in Afghanistan (Fazal, 2016).

This aspect of marriage makes daughters an economic liability hence, discouraging parents to

invest on their daughters growth and education. We are familiar with the system of traditional

marriages, sons do not separate themselves after marriage but continue to live with parents. On

the other hand, daughters usually leave their natal families and live with their husbands and set

up a separate household with their families and carry their family heritage. Thus, sons are

considered to constitute family origin and establish the family prestige whereas daughters move

out of their parental home and serve another family carrying their ancestral family names. This

again perpetuates the idea that sons are the only children parents can turn to for the financial and

other supports when they get old. This is why parents tend to provide additional opportunities to

sons which leads to cutting off opportunities for daughters.

Social Prestige

The society where a person lives has a great role in shaping their values and beliefs. In

Afghanistan, women recognize that their greater social status as a wife will typically be gained at

the cost of their personal freedom and of vastly increased responsibilities, while mens status and

power both increase with marriage, and mens involvement in maintaining the household may be

minimal (Kitch, Sally, 2014). These social statuses encourage women to stay home and get

indulged in domestic work and stimulate them to be a good wife rather than seek work outside.

This increases economic reliance of afghan women upon their husbands. Due to this norm,

women do not intend to work outside and become economically independent so that they do not
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challenge the stereotypical role of a good wife. Hence, this reinforces the idea that sons are the

better shoulders to carry the burden of the family which intensifies son preference.

Preference for sons over daughters is also associated with the overall disadvantaged status that

women have in Afghan society. In Afghanistan, the birth of a son is celebrated and the arrival of

a daughter is often mourned as misfortune. Having a son not only lifts the status of the fathers

but also uplifts the status of mothers inside the family. Mothers with sons are given more respect,

have a little more say in family decisions and will not be burdened with rival wife (polygamy).

In Afghanistan, Bacha Posh is a prominent practice where girl child is temporarily raised as a

boy and presented as such to the outside world. In her book, The Underground Girls of Kabul,

Jenny Nordberg describes the segregated society of women who were born females, an unwanted

sex in Afghanistan, but were raised as males in order to receive gendered favors through

childhood and puberty. These young girls who are raised as boys do have relatively more access

to opportunities than girls but they still do not get equal opportunities like boys. This might

benefit these children initially but when they go back to being women, their life becomes more

difficult because they are burdened with huge transition in life. Bacha Posh is another yet

strong social culture in Afghanistan which demonstrates the intensity of son preference in the

country.

Warfare

Afghanistan, which has endured intense transformation in the past thirty years, has seen

suffering and threat to natural rights of people. Kitch and Sally write in Reflections with Afghan

Women Leaders, women and children have been vulnerable because of civil war, terrorism and

foreign invasion which has perpetuated deeply held belief in the separation of the sexes and in

mens duty to protect, provide for, and guide women and children. In a war-ravaged country,
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such beliefs have now modeled to define women as weak and has restricted opportunities of

women. Women are encouraged to stay home and get indulged in domestic work with their

children because there is a strong perception that men should be masculine enough to earn bread

and protect the family, women hardly challenge this perception. This again intensifies son

preference because women are regarded weaker than men.

Conclusion

Son preference is a deep rooted phenomena in Afghan culture and it clearly is associated

with the traditional social advantages of having a son and disadvantages of having daughters.

The social change required to establish and promote social justice in Afghanistan is enormous.

According to a research, There is such a thing as too many daughters, but not too many sons,

One-third of women in the study reported a history of family violence exacerbated when they

did not give birth to a son Puri, Sunita (1982). Parents with only daughters and no sons are

pressured by extended families, encourage by social norms and traditions and ridiculed by

society for challenging the status quo. In these cases, mothers are more likely to be pressurized

by families and society to bear a son which leads to reproductive coercion. These problems of

reproductive coercion, unequal distribution of opportunities, social injustices are the results of

intense son preference prevailing in Afghanistan. Until major social reforms are taken from both

government levels and local levels, this system will not decline. However, with increase in

literacy and awareness these reforms are possible if done comprehensively. Afghanistan is one

among many parts of the world where son preference has been making significant impact in

collective social growth which is problematic. Chung & Bae Hwa-Ok in Why is Son preference

so persistent in East and South Asia? argue that the speed of reducing son preference can be

greatly accelerated if measures are taken to make it socially acceptable for daughters to help their
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parents. There should be more comprehensive approach along with social awareness and much

can be done to establish social justice and reduce son preference through legislature, local

movements and mass media.

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Emadi, H. (2002). Repression, resistance, and women in Afghanistan. Westport, Conn.:

Praeger.
Fazal Muzhary, 25 October 2016. The Bride Price: The Afghan tradition of paying for

wives
Kitch, Sally L.. Contested Terrain : Reflections with Afghan Women Leaders. Urbana,

US: University of Illinois Press, 2014.

Nordberg, J. (2014). The underground girls of kabul: In search of a hidden resistance in

afghanistan (First ed.). New York: Crown Publishers.

Puri, Sunita There is such a thing as too many daughters, but not too many sons: A

qualitative study of son preference and fetal sex selection among Indian immigrants in

the United States, Social science & medicine (1982)

Monica Das Gupta , Jiang Zhenghua , Li Bohua , Xie Zhenming , Woojin
Chung & Bae Hwa-Ok (2003) Why is Son preference so persistent in East and South

Asia? A cross-country study of China, India and the Republic of Korea, The Journal of

Development Studies.