Rudra Veena

By Jagadish

Scene 1

Govinda: Are rudra kaha se aa rahe ho

Shahrukh khan: school se

Govinda: yaha ke bache padte hi nahi aur tu padne ke liye pure do kilometer jata hain kyon

Shahrukh khan: paisa kamana hain shehar mein, aur kisliye

Govinda: khet khalyan dekh, khana yahi se milta hain shehar walo ko

Shahrukh khan: dosti karni hain shehar walo se ki paisa ped par kyon nahi ugta hain aur zameen pe kyon

Govinda: itna bhi phar phara mat, gir jayega, shehar wale chor hain , chor

Shahrukh khan: unhi se seekhoonge , alvida

Amir khan: Govinda , tera baap kya keh raha hain

Shahrukh khan : baap , shehar jaane se rok raha hain, darte hain shehar walo se

Amir khan : kyon

Shahrukh khan: chori ho gayi thi unki jeb se, poori raat hawalat mein the

Amir khan: chori unki huyi to wo kyon hawalat mein

Shahrukh khan: Angrezi nahi aati bapu ko, anap shanap bake, police wala nashe mein tha, to hawalat
mein daal diya

Amir khan : FIR

Shahrukh khan: shehar walo ko pata hota hain, gaav walo ko nahi

Amir khan: wo to sahi hain , kaha se aa raha hain tu

Shahrukh khan : class

Amir khan: itna pad ke kya karega, mere saath ghoomne nikal, duniya dekh
Shahrukh khan: teacher ji kehte hain, duniya dekhne ke liye hi padayi ki jaati hain

Amir khan : wo kyon, Salman khan to aise hi chal diya, bori bistar baandh ke

Shahrukh khan: main Salman khan nahi hun, jo aise hi bori bistar baandh ke chala javu sheher ki taraf,
are PhD karni hain to soch samajh kar ki jaati hain

Amir khan : aage

Shahrukh khan: paisa ped par kyon nahi ugta

Amir khan: mujh ko nahi malum

Shahrukh khan : padayi kar, dimag lada, kuch yaad kar, tab duniyadari seekh, samajh mein aa jayegi

Amir khan : oh !!!!!

Scene 2

Boman irani: duniya mein paisa sab kuch kar deta hain jo hum soch sakte hain

Shahrukh khan: guru ji, sab ka matlab

Boman irani : cancer se lekar aids tak ke sare bimariyon ka raaj, paisa tha

Shahrukh khan: wo kaise

Boman irani: jab paisa samay par ho to sare mareez kabhi mar hi nahi sakte

Shahrukh khan: aisi takat to sabke paas honi chahiye, ji guruji

Boman irani : nahi , kuch log paiso ka durupyog bhi karte hain

Shahrukh khan : terrorism

Boman irani : haa , par paisa jab theek tarah se istamal kare to bahut kuch seekhne ko milti hain

Shahrukh khan: I want to learn the art of handling money

Boman irani : bache , bade bado is cheez par fail ho gaye hain

Shahrukh khan : kaise

Boman irani: paisa jab aata hain, to hosh awaaz insaan kho deta hain, jo handle kar sakne ki shamta
rakhta hain , use samrat ka darza diya jata hain is duniya mein
Shahrukh khan : example

Boman irani: Warren Buffett ka naam suna hain

Shahrukh khan : haan

Boman irani: ek decision of finance , karodo log following, richest man on earth

Shahrukh khan: main bhi banna chahta hun unke jaise

Bomman irani: unke jaise banna namumkeen

Shahrukh khan : kyon

Boman irani: bharat desh ne itni Unnati nahi ki jitni America ne ki , isliye

Shahrukh khan: oh!!!! To mein agar shehar jau, to seekh sakta hun, right guruji

Boman irani : Jarrow

Shahrukh khan: thank you,

Scene 3

Deepika Padukone: swami yeh Shahrukh khan, bahut vichitra type ka hai

Jagadish: haa priye

Deepika Padukone: kuch bata sakte hain is vichitra manav ke bare mein, mere shiva

Jagadish: jaroor , par kuch shan baad

Deepika Padukone: kyon swami, aisa kya hone wala hain, is manushya ke saath

Jagadish: sabr ka phal meetha hota hain , priye, jo is bhoomi par janm leta hain, wah sab tarah ke daur
se guzarte hain , sabr kar aur is prani ki durdasha par taras jarroor karna

Deepika Padukone: jee swami

Kuch der baad

Deepika Padukone: aapne kaha ki anarth hone wala hain

Jagadish: haa priye, sati

Deepika Padukone: mujhe kuch samajh mein nahi aaya, kareeb aadha ghanta hua hain

Jagadish: waqt aadheen mein hain, to iska matlab ulanghan nahi priye

Deepika Padukone : oh!!!!

Jagadish: waqt jitna humare jeevan mein mehatva deta hain, utna mehatva manav jeevan par bhi lagoo
hota hain, jo is waqt ko jaanne ki koshish karega, usi ko shrest jeevan mana jayega

Deepika Padukone: wo kyon

Jagadish: waqt aisi cheez hain jo uska laabh kar samay ke saath saath chalega wohi is waqt ka gyani
kehlvayega , waqt insaan ko barbaad bhi karta hain aur fayde ki baat yeh hain ki waqt kabhi labh ki
cheez hain hi nahi

Deepika Padukone: wo kyon

Jagadish: jitni raftar se zindagi insaan ki chalegi aur bina soche samjhe waqt niklega , budapa aane par
Rondi surat banayega

Deepika Padukone: to labh kaise utahana chahiye is waqt ka

Jagadish : prati din seekhne ki koshish mein agar waqt ka upyog kare to bhavishya mein laabh jaroor mil
sakta hain, par log uska durupyog kar, achi cheezo ke badle mein, durupyog cheeze jo shareer ke liye
hanikarak ho usme bitate hain

Deepika Padukone : haa , wo to sahi hain , is duniya mein koi bhi cheez buri nahi hain agar kam istamal
kare to, par jab jyada kare to nuksaan

Jagadish : priye , Shahrukh khan ka waqt ab shuru hota hain, wo sheher ki taraf Ravana hua haain

Deepika Padukone: dekh rahi hoon

Jagadish ; om
Scene 4

Arshad Warsi: aaj kisi na kisi ki jeb to kategi mere haath se

Shahrukh khan: bhai yeh daulatabad shehar ki bus hain

Arshad Warsi : haan

Shahrukh khan: thank you

Arshad Warsi: paise hain Jane ke liye, ya aise hi ghumne ka irada hain

Shahrukh khan: pure bees hazar rupaye aur sona bhi hain biwi ka, kya samjhe

Arshad Warsi: wah malamaal

Shahrukh khan : haan

Arshad Warsi: agar aapke paas paise hain to kuch mere

Shahrukh khan: wo kyon

Arshad Warsi: aise hi daulatabad jayenge shehar

Shahrukh khan: to shehar Jane ke liye kya karna hain

Arshad Warsi: bhai, paas mein mandir hain, bus ek ghante ke baad chalegi to thoda manat karke aao

Shahrukh khan: ek ghanta

Arshad Warsi : haan

Shahrukh khan: Katrina kaif bag sambhal, main shivji ke mandir hokar aata hun

Katrina kaif : jaroor

Arshad Warsi: aap kartin kya hain Katrina kaif

Katrina kaif: jee housewife

Arshad Warsi: aur pati

Katrina kaif: engineering complete

Arshad Warsi: padi likhi aap

Katrina kaif : jyaada nahi bus baarvi kaksha paass

Arshad Warsi: bache kitne

Katrina kaif nayi nayi shaadi huyi hain, bache aane wale hain

Arshad Warsi : oh!!!

Katrina kaif: aap karte kya hain

Arshad Warsi: main , main haa bus conductor

Katrina kaif: isi bus ke

Arshad Warsi: haa , aap khade kyon hain, bus mein baithiye, pati aane pe time lagega, thoda jal paan
kijiye, tension nahi lene ka

Katrina kaif: yehi bus hain

Arshad Warsi : haan

Thodi der baad

Shahrukh khan: tum bahar

Katrina kaif: haa jal pan kar rahi thi

Shahrukh khan: bus to chal di

Katrina kaif: aur humara samaan

Shahrukh khan : kya , humara main kuch samjha nahi

Katrina kaif: conductor ne kaha to Maine samman bus mein rakh di

Shahrukh khan: aur paise

Katrina kaif: wo bag mein tha

Scene 5

Police station
Manoj Bajpai : haa Shahrukh ji, kya madad kar sakte hain aapki

Shahrukh khan: meri bag kho gayi, aaj bus mein

Manoj Bajpai: safar mein

Shahrukh khan: safar se pehle

Naseeruddin Shah: safar se pehle kho jati hain , wow , aajkal ke naujwano ne naya tareeka doond liya
hain kya

Manoj Bajpai: meet chief inspector Naseeruddin Shah

Shahrukh khan : oh !!!! Meri bag ka case

Nasaruddin shah : FIR banni hain to nayi banegi

Shahrukh khan: kyon sir

Naseeruddin Shah: bhai court kacheri mein hum vishwas nahi rakhte

Manoj Bajpai: agar FIR nahi bani to kya hua , doondna humara kaam hain

Naseeruddin Shah: to bina FIR ke dhoond lenge, kya bolte ho barkhurdar

Shahrukh khan : sir , bina FIR ke bag

Naseeruddin Shah; bhai jo humko kehna tha keh diya, aage aapki marji

Shahrukh khan : par sir, FIR darz karna police ka pehla kartavya hai

Manoj Bajpai: kya hain Shahrukh ji, FIR banayi to do baate hogi, ya aap court ke chakkar katenge ya
humari, kyon jhanjat Lena

Naseeruddin Shah: waise bhi aapke anusar bag mein kuch tha bhi nahi, bas bees hazar

Shahrukh khan : sir , sona

Manoj Bajpai: sona , aajkal ki rakh mein to bahut kaum, bees gram ka sona tha

Shahrukh khan: emergency ke liye

Naseeruddin Shah: dhyaan se soch kar aayiye ki FIR banni hain ya nahi

Shahrukh khan: theek hain, jaisa aap kahe

Manoj Bajpai: yaad rakhna, bina FIR ke bhi jaanch hum karte hain

Shahrukh khan: fine , thank you

Scene 6

Deepika Padukone: aapne theek hi kaha tha, aaj ki gatha bahut vichitra thi

Jagadish: taras aaya Shahrukh khan par

Deepika Padukone: haa swami

Jagadish: kuch karne ki chahat thi, bande ko par hua hi nahi

Deepika Padukone: samay sab ulat pulat kar deti hain swami, jo sochte hain wo hota hi nahi

Jagadish: jo achayi ke raste par chal kar kuch pane ki koshish karta hain, use bhi mushkilo ke daur se
gujarna padta hain

Deepika Padukone: swami, aisa nahi ho sakta ki , achayi ko kabhi musibate aye hi nahi aye aur burayi har
waqt harti hi rahe

Jagadish: aapki soch ki tariff karni chahiye priye

Deepika Padukone: ji swami

Jagadish: yeh duniya bahut kathor hain, jo jeene ki chahat rakhta hain , uske dost hote hain, dost baat
karte hain aur raah dikhate hain, raah par anjaan log milte hain, isliye mushkilo ka samna karna padta
hain

Deepika Padukone: agar dost hi na rahe

Jagadish: aisa koi reh hi nahi sakta, jo is duniya mein aata hain, kuch banna chahta hain, uske dost to
hona swabhavik hain, duniya rishtedari se banayi gayi hai priye, akele ki zindagi mein marna likha hain

Deepika Padukone: wo kaise

Jagadish: ek Aadmi pura din parikshram kare to bhi doosre ki madad ke bina apna pet pal hi nahi sakta
kyonki log ek doosre se jalte hain agar aisa hua to, to apni savdhani baratne ke liye aur jeene ke liye bina
maut ka saya na hone ke liye duniya ne ek doosre ka saath na chodne ka wada kiya hai

Alone death

Cooperation wealth

Deepika Padukone: dekh rahi hun is vipad avasta mein is bande ka khazana kaha par hain

Jagadish : om
Scene 7

Amir khan: abhi tak gaav mein atke huye ho Shahrukh khan

Shahrukh khan : haan , matlabi duniya mein gujarna hain to kuch paiso ka intezam karna to padega

Amir khan: to ab karne ka kya irada hain

Shahrukh khan: wohi job dhoond raha hoon

Amir khan: dosti rakha kar hamse aur duniya walo se fayde mein rahega

Shahrukh khan: kuch madad

Amir khan : beshak

Shahrukh khan: shehar jana hain, paise to ghum ho gaye, ab taraki kaise Karoo

Amir khan: mukhiya se baat karke kuch intezaam kar lo, fayda hi fayda hain

Shahrukh khan : bhai , mukhiya dar lagta hain, bahut baar vad vivad ho gaya unse

Amir khan: isliye kaha tha, logo ko apna samjho aur kum vad vivaad karo to rasta mushkil nahi padta

Shahrukh khan : oh !!!!

Amir khan: ab ek hi chara hain, mafi maang aur kaam pe lag ja

Shahrukh khan: mukhiya manege

Amir khan: faulad tan ka chauda seena bhi pighal Jane ke liye dosti nibhate hain, dosti kar

Shahrukh khan : kaise

Amir khan: bhai holi a rahi hai to jashn manane ke liye biwi se keh kuch pakwan bana, khila dena
mukhiya ko, mukhiya khush to tu bhi khush, kya kehte ho

Shahrukh khan: theek farmaya , thanks

Scene 8

Shahrukh khan: bhai mukhiya ji, holi mubarak

Amitabh Bachchan: holi aapko mubarak, bahut mahine beet gaye aapko dekhkar, naraz hain kya humse
Shahrukh khan: nahi mukhiya ji, bas shehar jaana chahte the, gaav pe rukna pada

Amitabh bachan: to aap akhbar nahi padte

Shahrukh khan: padta hoon

Amitabh bachan: aapke bolne aur batane mein farak mehsoos ho raha hai

Shahrukh khan: wo kaise

Amitabh bachan: aapko pata hona chahiye ki shehar mein naukri milna aajkal mushkil ka kaam hain, aur
akhbar jo padta hain, wo yehi sochta hain, ki jana to hain, par ab nahi

Shahrukh khan: engineering pass hu mukhiyaji

Amitabh Bachan: yehi to , kaksha pass hone se samajhdari nahi ban jate is duniya mein

Shahrukh khan : uddesh mera acha hai mukhiyaji, khamakha aap mera fijul mein sabke samne Jaleel kar
rahe hain

Amitabh bachan: isliye tum mukhiya nahi ban sake

Shahrukh khan: kuch mashvoorah

Amitabh bachan : samajhdari bujurg se baat karne par aati hai, jawani ki josh har waqt budape ko
neecha deekhane par lagi rehti hain

Shehar ke log ab koi budapa nahi dekhte, seedhe kal kothri matlab old age homes mein bhej de rahe
hain, pata hain aap ko, aaj bhi gaav is far better than city

Mein agar shehar wasi hota to jaroor batata ki bujurg jab saath mein hote hain to taraki jawan beta aur
beti youn kar dikha dete hain, yeh soch tabhi aati hain jab saath rehne ka wada ek dusre se karte hain

Shahrukh khan: thank you , job

Amitabh bachan : beshak , bank mein cashier ki naukri kar sakte ho to ek mahine baad ana

Shahrukh khan : thanks

Amitabh bachan: aur is bujurg ki bhi yaad kijiyega jaroor

Shahrukh khan: haan mukhiyaji

SCENE 9

Shahrukh khan: may I come in manager

Kangana Ranaut : jaroor

Shahrukh khan: I am surprised , aap

Kangana Ranaut: do you know me

Shahrukh khan: actually main soch raha tha ki koi bujurg honge, experienced par yaha par akar dang reh
gaya

Kangana Ranaut: kyon aapke hisab se youth can't be managers

Shahrukh khan: aisi baat nahi, par aaj kal jab sex is rampant, Maine socha nahi ki management ladkiyon
ko bhejegi gaav mein kaam karne ke liye

Kangana Ranaut: wo to sahi hain, management rules are management rules aur jab tankhvah har
mahine aur experience chahiye to job mein adjustment kar leni chahiye

Shahrukh khan: beshak , my post

Kangana Ranaut: bhai , Anupam Kher sir ko bulayiye

Anupam Kher: ji bulaya

Kangana Ranaut: in ko kaam sikha dijiye, yaha ke taur tareeke

Anupam Kher: yes madam

Shahrukh khan: aap ki taarif

Anupam Kher : cashier

Shahrukh khan: mujhe to kaha gaya tha ki cashier left the village

Anupam Kher: company yani banking ki policy hain ki naya jab tak apne bal butepar khara utarta nahi
hain purana seekhata rehta hain jabki job theek tarah na samajh le

Shahrukh khan: thank you main to bach gaya

Anupam Kher: banking field mein to yeh sab jayaj hain

Shahrukh khan: ohh!!!! Fortunate

Anupam Kher: so shall we begin

Shahrukh khan: yes sir ,

Scene 10

Paresh Rawal: Salman khan ki chita jalani hain

Kiron kher : aaapne Salman khan ko sheher kyon bheja

Paresh Rawal: budhi mari gayi thi meri, isliye bheja

Amitabh bachan: sorry Paresh Rawal ji

Paresh Rawal: aapki baat manni thi , manmani ki , bhugat raha hoon

Shahrukh khan: kya hua Salman khan ke saath

Amir khan: company mein kaam kar raha tha, machinery se haath kat gaye , khudkhusi kar li Salman
khan ne

Shahrukh khan: kya kare hamare jaiso ki naukri machinery mein hi job milti hain shehar mein

Amitabh bachan : kuch paise mile security

Paresh rawal : ulta company ne hum par mukadma dayar kiya ki galti salman khan ki hain , ek hafte
pehle hi uska phone aya tha, hasta hua bola , tofa lekar aunga sheher ki ladki aapki daughter in law
banne ko razi ho gayi hain

Kiron kher : dekhna chahti thi kaun thi wo mere salman khan ko bha gayi, kudrat ka khel ki wo bhi
naseeb nahi hone diya bhagwan ne

Amitabh bachan : sorry for the loss

Scene 11

Anil Kapoor: haa Paresh Rawal ji, kaise ana hua hamari gali main

Paresh rawal : bhai compensation ke paise agar mil jate to

Anil Kapoor: Salman khan case

Paresh rawal : haa sir

Anil Kapoor: company ke kuch oosool tumhare bete ne tode hain , to agar aap is kagzaat par sign kar de
to mein aapki rakm de sakta hoon

Paresh rawal : kagzaat

Anil Kapoor: haa kagzaat, bhai kuch nahi, company aapke bete ki laparvahi bardaash nahi kar sakti so
without confusion from both sides aap is kagazaat par sign karke apni ek lakh le jayiye without court
interference , main yeh court aur kacheri mein fijuul mein chakkar nahi katna chahta

Paresh rawal : par sar baat tay huyi thi panch lakh ki

Anil Kapoor: you mean 5 lakhs, are you out of your mind, ek lakh lijiye aur dafa ho jayiye , laparvahi
aapke bete ki hain , humari jimmedari nahi

Paresh rawal : par sir, company employee

Anil Kapoor : security remove this guy , main socha aap samajhdar pita hain

Paresh rawal couldnt file a suit case against the company because he was poor villager and lost even
the 1 lakh which was coming his way

Scene 12

Jagadish: suna priye ajab ishq with paisa led to death

Deepika : haa swami , anarth

Jagadish: paisa aisi cheez hain jo kareeb se dekhna chahe to maut ka saya banti hain , salman khan gaya
to shehar par kabhi laut ke nahi aya, Shahrukh khan jana to chahta hain par kismat ne saath nahi diya

Kismat agar saath diye to bhi, main to yahi kahoonga, jitna bhi mile paisa bachana jaroor, na Jane kis
mod par uski avshyakta pad jaye

Shehar aisi cheez hain jo sab safar karna to chahte hain par koi samajhne ki koshish nahi karta ki gaav
bhi dangerous, shehar bhi dangerous, aur in sab ki protection logo se baatcheet karte rehna hain to be
safe
Koi bhi kaam chota bada nahi hota, na use paiso ke bhaav se tola jata hain , dikhte amir hain kai log par
vastav mein sab gareeb, tension tension tension aur is tension se door jane ke liye

Shehar wale gaav ki taraf Ravana hote hain aur gaav wale shehar ki taraf

Kaun Sacha kaun jhootha sabit karna bahut mushkil ka khel hain

Isliye khush rehna bahut chunauti ka kaam hain, reh sake to happy day , na reh sake to waqt dhoka de
jata hain

Kuch pal jiyo, kuch pal haso aur dukh agar sataye to raste me mile dosto se madad mangne mein burayi
nahi hain par samajhdari se

Deepika Padukone: to ab aap kya karenge swami

Jagadish: soch raha hoon ki vardaan du is Shahrukh ko aur amir bana doo

Deepika Padukone: jaisi aapki marzi

Usi samay bizli kadki aur aa pahuncha Vishnu bhagwan

Akshay Kumar: ghor anarth karne ja rahe hain aap, aap ki jo marzi mein aya vardan diya aur jo marji
mein kya kiya

Jagadish: Vishnu bhagwan ki jai

Akshay Kumar: aapne utar nahi diya shiva

Jagadish: sab ka palan karta shoonya hain, main kaun hota hun, jo samajh mein aayi karne ki abhilasha
rakhi

Akshay Kumar: to aapka matlab manmani

Jagadish: nahi Vishnu, aisa mera koi uddeshya nahi tha

Akshay Kumar: hamara kartavya hain ki jo kaam kare use paiso ka vardaan de , jo kaam nahi karta aur
apni raksha khud nahi kar sakta aur logo ke beech mein nahi reh sakta use vardaan dena hi nahi chahiye

Deepika Padukone: aapne uchit hi kaha Aaradhya dev, swami bhatak gaye un logo ki chinta dekh kar

Akshay Kumar: mate chinta is necessary , jo chinta doosro ki nahi karta wo paisa nahi mang sakta , jo
doosro ke liye jiye aur kuch unka bhala kare tabhi paisa diya jana chahiye
Deepika Padukone: accepted , ab is Shahrukh khan ka kya kare jo mere swami ki drushtikone mein aya
hain

Akshay Kumar: maate sansaar jaisa hain waise hi chalne de , apni soch ke hisab se aur kartavya ke hisab
se aur apne bal bute par khara jo utar saka use hi shoor vir aur daulatmand ka khitab milna chahiye

Deepika Padukone: aur baki log

Akshay Kumar: jo shiva ki iccha

Jagadish: Vishnu meri akhe khol di ,

samast manav apne karmo ke hisab se soch pradan ki jayegi

aur usi ke hisab se jagat chalayi jayegi

OM TAT SAT

END OF HINDI MOVIE