VIRGIN MARY AS AN ICON OF MARRIAGEHOOD

PREAMBLE
We all know some marriages that are living in hell and many that are full of difficulties, and yet
we enter into marital life with the hope making a difference. We bring a degree of innocence to
marriage, hoping that in spite of statistic about divorce we will find in marriage a meaningful and
fulfilled life. While innocent hopes and expectations are natural part of getting marriage, they
invite experiences that are wounding, that bring us unwillingly and usually unexpectedly into the
crucibles of marriage.
MEANING OF MARRIAGE
According to the Oxford Advance Learners Dictionary, marriage is defined as a formal usually
legally recognized agreement between a man and a woman making them husband and wife. The
Catechism of the Catholic Church defines it as a covenant, by which a man and a woman form
with each other an intimate communion of life and love and being founded and endowed with its
own special laws by the creator(CCC 1660). The code of Canon Law (1983) defines marriage as
a covenant, by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the
whole life (Can 1055 $1). The presence of Jesus and Mary at the wedding at Cana confirmed the
goodness of marriage and elevated it to a sacrament.
KINDS OF MARRIAGE
Remarkably, marriage varies from culture to culture and is affected by religious beliefs. There
are three forms of marriage namely:
MONOGAMY: One man married to one woman
POLYGAMY: One man married to many women
POLYANDRY: One woman married to many men
These three forms of marriage may be found in some of the kinds of marriage as classified
below:
1. CUSTOMARY AND TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE
2. CIVIL MARRIAGE
3. RELIGIOUS MARRIAGE
THE PERSON OF VIRGIN MARRY
Mary has by grace been exalted above all angels and men (LG 66). Mary is the mother of
Christ the second person of the blessed trinity GOD THE SON. Mary therefore is the mother of
God. Mary inherited this title mother of God which practically commenced at the annunciation
(cf Lk 1:28). But this title was not formally declared by the church until the year 431, when the
council of Ephesus proclaimed Mary as the THEOTOKOS.

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UNDERSTANDING CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE
Christian Marriage is that marriage in which the love of man and woman is manifested as
ordained by God. The churchs understanding of the sacredness of marriage is rooted in the
creation narrative of Genesis. In the first account God created man in his image, in the divine
image He created them both, God blessed them saying be fruitful and multiply (Gen 1: 27
-28). The second account points to the vital element of unity in marriage; the two are no longer
two but oneGen 2:22). The Christian marriage is a way of perfection thus, the Lumen Gentium
No 11 stated that, in virtue of the sacrament of matrimony by which they signify and share the
mystery of the unity and faithful love between Christ and the church.
THE PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE
PROCREATION AND EDUCATION OF CHILDREN: Procreation of children is a noble
purpose of marriage; children born from the union of a husband and wife foster Gods creative
work in the world.
MUTUAL GOOD OF SPOUSES: Joseph met a wonderful helpmate, marital love and fulfillment
in the company of his wife, Mary. So marriage couples should have these mutual supports.
MARRIAGE SATISFIES SEXUAL URGE: Young people are urged to control their sexual urges
until they are married. Sex consummates marriage; this means that marriage has not been
consummated if sexual intercourse has not yet taken place (cf canon 1141-1150).
MARY AS AN ICON OF MARRIAGEDHOOD
Despite the vicissitudes of life, she lived a caring and a contemplative life. Her caring attitude
was expressing at the wedding feast at Cana. Couple needs to show concern to their neighbors.
Just as Mary cared for and was affectionately concerned about her child, our Christian couples
should also with a tender care, preoccupy themselves with the spiritual, intellectual and physical
development of their children. The virtues of Mary should ignite in them the spirit of loyalty,
self-sacrifice and love to their respective families and the society at large.
CHALLENGES TO CHRISTIAN MARRIAGES
LACK OF MALE CHILD: In most African communities, pressure is often on the woman to
produce male children as there is a lot of ignorance of the fact that the man is also responsible for
the procreation. This can lead to divorce.
BARRENNESS: After years of marriage without childbearing, problems can certainly erupts
either from both couples or from relatives. Love is very essential at this moment.
MARITAL INFIDELITY: Some of the causes of infidelity are; impotence, frigidity, lust,
sexmaniac etc. whatever the cause may be, it is unhealthy and unholy.
PRESENCE OF A HOUSE HELP: When house help does everything for her husband, little
attention is given to him, the husband may use this opportunity to seek attention from the maid.

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ARRIVAL OF THE FIRST CHILD: The attention of the wife is often shifted towards the child
than the husband.
MORAL QUALITIES BETWEEN CHRISTIAN COUPLES
AVOIDANCE OF CONTRACEPTIVES AND PORNOGRAPHIES: Couples should take good
interest in observing the teaching of the church regarding natural family planning.
EMOTIONAL MATURITY: Couples mistakenly assumes that they have the same emotional
needs and desires. Some of the emotional difference are:
1. SHE NEEDS CARING AND HE NEEDS TRUST: When a man shows interest in a
womans feeling, she feels loved and cared for. To trust a man is to believe that he is
doing his best.
2. SHE NEEDS UNDERSTANDING AND HE NEEDS ACCEPTANCE: When a man
listens to her wife expressing her feeling without judging, she feels heard and
understood. When the wife helps the husband without trying to change him, he feels
accepted.
3. SHE NEEDS RESPECT AND HE NEEDS APPRECIATION: When the wife values her
husbands efforts and behavior, he feels appreciated and when the husband responds to
his wifes needs, she feels respected.
4. SHE NEEDS DEVOTION AND HE NEEDS ADMIRATION: The wife thrives when
she feels adorned and special. Her husband feels admired when she is happily amazed
by his unique characteristic like, humor, integrity and romance.
CONCLUSION
Marriage is very essential because it was ordained by God. Couples having problems in their
respective families should invoke the intercession of our Blessed Virgin Mary who is and
remained the perfect icon of marriage hood. The pastors of souls should not hastily administer
this sacrament without observing the intensive catechesis for a short period of time at least three
months.