Elementary School

School, a place for learning, a place for struggle, and a place for great discovery. Elementary

school changed me, although I hadnt notice before at such a young age, it was the beginning to all my

learning adventures. I was born and raised in San Francisco, but at home I spoke mainly Chinese. It was

not until five did I start to speak the English language. I have a vague recollection about my English

learning journey, but I was told I was reluctant to speak English. Many phone calls were made to my

mother by the principal saying I am not qualified to be in school and that I should return to preschool. I

was given a test to recite the alphabet, but I had failed even that. It was then that my teachers and parents

started worrying; they didnt know whether I would be able to enter first grade. One day, a parent teacher

conference was held and I was in there with my mother. They had wanted to test my English language

ability one last time to determine if it was truly necessary to hold me back one year. My mom gave me a

stern look and said to me in Chinese that I had better do well or else I would have to be held back a year. I

took a deep breath and I recited the alphabet as quickly as possible. My teachers were baffled and asked

me why I hadnt done this the first time. I turned to my mom and said in Chinese that I didnt feel it was

necessary and that the teachers should speak Chinese instead of me speaking English. I did not feel the

need to speak English at that age because I felt it was not necessary for me to accommodate my teachers

and that it should have been the other way around. My arrogance made my moms eyes widen with anger

and lie to the teachers by saying I was sick that day. Before we left my teachers hoped that I would be

able to speak more English during class and that my mother should speak English to me at home. The

entire car ride back home was silent, but at that point I had thought I did a great job by performing well

during the test. Right when we entered the house, my mom started berating me. There was no end to it,

and I was afraid because for a week my mom picked me up from school and questioned whether I was

speaking English in class. After that day, I began an arduous journey in acquiring basic English literacy.

In addition I gained the knowledge to communicate with my mom. Until today I know to never speak to
my mom in such an arrogant and spoiled manner as that would only lead to her being annoyed. I believe it

was the lack of exposure to the outside world that made me behave in such an egotistical manner. The

main problem wasnt my incompetency in the English language but rather an inflated ego I had at that

time. I was not socially aware and didnt know how to communicate with people outside of my bubble,

additionally I was also hesitant about people entering and disrupting my bubble. Although it seemed as if

the main takeaway from being berated by mother was the beginning of my journey in acquiring English

literacy, the underlying acquisition was indeed the realization of a world that is beyond the boundaries of

my comfort zone.

Learning English was a difficult task, as I would always find myself disrupting class and sent to

the principals office. Even when I was aware of a world beyond my own, my six year old self was an

attention seeker that disregarded social etiquette. During recess, I would always play by myself by

jumping on benches and stealing other peoples garments and discarding them on the floor. During

bathroom breaks I would always bang on the bathroom doors when people were in the stalls and would

throw wet paper towels in them. I constantly seeked attention and wanted to appease my own desire. I

disregarded everyones feelings and put my enjoyment and pleasure above everyone else. That would

happen everyday and every night I went back home I would be scolded by my parents because they would

always get phone calls back home. I would always feel alone because I didnt receive approval from

either my parents or my peers. After a time of introspection, I realized it wasnt the peoples misfortune

that I enjoyed but rather their approval and attention. I wanted to be praised for my accomplishments

instead of being scolded for my rambunctious actions. As time passed I began to make more friends by

decreasing provocative behavior. I learned over time that one should behave in a well disciplined way at

school and in public. I had always seeked attention for my own enjoyment. I had lacked social

communication skills since I didnt know how to make friends and how to present myself. Over time I
had enhanced my social interaction abilities and was able to apply what I had learned to any public

setting. Not only was time necessary for any improvement in my conduct but also a great amount of effort

in order to change for the better. I did not have any role models to look up to, a path to follow, or even

guidance from any being. Through trial and error, and patience from my teachers am I able to more

socially acceptable in the real world.

My years in elementary school was a time of great importance and great personal discovery. To

an outsider it may seem that in school I was only able to acquire English literacy and be socially

competent. That to me is only the dermis of the immense amount of acquisitions. Being able to speak

English and communicate with people are only tools. The core and ultimately the drive for my successful

acquisition of English and social interactions originates in me truly being able to understand myself and

my surroundings. I needed to understand different perspectives especially the perspective of other

individuals and my own. I was lost and blindly lived life as each day approached. The world looked small

through my eyes but my perspective has changed as I was challenged by other peers. I had always lived

inside my own world and rejected any outsiders. There were no differences between the world I was

living in and an abyss because not only could I not see anything besides darkness, I couldnt even see

myself. There are no mirrors and I lacked the ability of introspection. Although introspection at a young

age is rather shallow, it is the ability of being able to identify who I was and what I longed for. Through

that I became self aware and understood the setbacks in myself. I purposely tried to hide from the reality

because I was afraid that the truth required me to change. The darkness was something that I imposed on

myself; it only required me to take away the blindfold that was obscuring the light.