TOPIC: Teachers should be paid according to how much students learn. Do you agree?

As social being, teaching profession is one of the most crucial jobs because it affects directly to each
Commented [A1]: Affects how? Need to give explanation!
of students. Therefore, how much we should pay for teachers is a controversial issue. Some people
think that teachers should be paid according to the amount of knowledge that students receive but I Commented [A2]: [] due to the following reasons
do not think that way is sensible. Commented [A3]: Shouldnt write teacher teach like
From an educational point of view, learning abilities of students cannot evaluate how much this. You can write how much knowledge teacher pass on
teachers teach because each student has awareness capability, which differs from others. For to them.
example, in mathematic, the student A understands lessons faster than his other classmates so that Commented [A4]: Has his own awareness capability
he always gets high mark. Moreover, some others student study harder and then they get better result
than A. Indeed, the students learn good or bad is based on not only how much teachers contribute Commented [A5]: mathematics
but also how much they spend time, attend to the lessons, etc. Commented [A6]: should not take an ambiguous example
Regarding to psychological perspective, paying for teachers depend on the level of knowledge that like this. You can take real imaginary example like: one of
student attain (=get) makes teachers feel the pressure of providing for students only the material my friends name David.
related to the test. That leads the teachers not to concern about other useful understanding for Commented [A7]: so (cho nn), not so that ( m).
students. For instance, they are not taught about skills for life. As a consequence, social behaviors of For example: I studied hard so that I could score high in the
students become more and more poor. In other words, their verbal skills are not improved and exam.
developed. Commented [A8]: Moreover, another friend of mine
As far as economical purpose is concerned, teaching job not only brings about meaningful things named Tuan is very hardworking and he also got very high
for community but also is an income source of teacher. In particular, although teachers work hardly score. Besides listening to the lecture and studying materials
the students still do not attend to learn. That is cause for teachers low-salary they cannot hold on provided by our teacher, he spends a lot of time in library
their good lifes condition. So this dream job is not a motivation for teachers, which means that there and attend extra classes to improve his understanding. The
example should be specific, realistic and detailed!
are many teachers exchange their job to other job.
All reasons and examples are discussed above bring us to conclusion that paying teachers by results Commented [A9]: The ability of a student to learn/ how
of students brings almost negative effects in numerous aspects. much knowledge a student attain.
Commented [A10]: [] for his study
Commented [A11]: Denpending. Because the main verb
of your sentence is makes
Commented [A12]: This is irrelevant!! For example, a
math teacher wont have to teach students skills for life. You
can write Teachers do not provide additional materials
which might help students understand the theory better so
students understanding might become narrow and only
enough for them to pass the test,
Commented [A13]: Irrelevant!
Commented [A14]: Parralelism+ ambiguity error.
Teaching job not only brings about meanings for the
community as it trains young people to become working
resources for the society but also serves as an earning job
for the teachers
Commented [A15]: Not logical!!
Commented [A16]: Hardly = not. work hard hard is
adj and adv also
Commented [A17]: As teachers do not have the option
of choosing his students, the case might happen that his
students do not attend class even though he works hard.
Paying him low salary because his students do not perform
satisfactorily therefore demotivate the teacher to work
because his earning could not support his living. As a
result, teachers will switch his job to another one.