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Introduction

2007 I had the great fortune of meeting Srila BV Sadhu Maharaja


for the first time. It was love at first sight. But not an ordinary
love. Srila Sadhu Maharaja radiates a love which is of a divine
nature. We immediately felt deeply connected and in him I found
my spiritual father and my beloved siksha-guru. From then on, by
Srimati Radhikas mercy, I had the opportunity to travel and to
be with him several times. In these diaries here the respected
reader will find encounters with a truly saintly person, Srila BV
Sadhu Maharaja. I wrote these diaries to share my experiences
with a living sadhu who embodies the teachings about pure love
to Sri Sri Radha and Krishna. Everyone can learn from his
example how to live a life based on the concept of LOVE IN
ACTION. Everyone, everywhere, everytime.

With this writings I want to express my deep affection form y


beloved siksha-guru, Srila BV Sadhu Maharaja.

I want to dedicate this little book to his lotus feet. Without him, I
would be deprived of countless wonderful moments. I am forever
indebted to him for having me allowed to be with him all these
times and for all that I could learn from him..

Thank you to all the devotees who shared these moments with
us. And an extra special THANK YOU to my beloved wife,
Govinda priya, because without her I would be nothing and you
would not be able to read these pages.
vancha-kalpa-tarubhyash cha
kripa-sindhubhya eva cha
patitanam pavanebhyo
vaishnavebhyo namo namaha

"I offer my respectful obeisances unto all the Vaishnava devotees


of the Lord. They are just like desire trees who can fulfill the
desire of everyone. They are oceans of mercy and are the purifiers
of the fallen souls."

If you find any mistakes, please feel free to contact the author to
help him improve the next edition.

Last but not least, my heart goes out to mybeloved Gurudeva, Sri
Sri Ananta das Babaji Maharaja, who mercifully and
mysteriously brought me in contact with Sripad Sadhu Maharaja.

Radhe Radhe!

Tarun Govinda das (July 2012)


Table of contents:

Part 1 Meeting Srila Sadhu Maharaja

Part 2 Travelling with a Sadhu in the USA

Part 3 - Living with a Sadhu in Vraja dhama

Part 4 - Moments of truth during days of love

Part 5 - The Findhof Adventure


Part 1 Meeting Srila Sadhu Maharaja

An encounter of the different kind a spiritual


experience

In April 2007 my soulmate Govinda priya dd and me, Tarun


Govinda das, had been invited to visit the ashram of Krishna
Chandra. By that time, the ashram was still in Spiringen,
Switzerland. We were informed that in this particular week there
would be a great spiritual master residing in this ashram. I had
heard of him before: His Holiness Sripad BV Sadhu Maharaja.
And I only heard fantastic things. Many people told me such
good things about him and now we were very inspired to visit the
ashram.

Maharaja arrived during the night with Krishna Chandra and we


met him the next morning. I was immediately impressed with
him. He at once hugged us both and welcomed us very cordially.
He radiated a real special kindness and from that meeting
onward, I took every minute of his association I could get.

It was not really what he spoke about, but how. His presence
installed such a loving atmosphere and his humility was
something you only read in the books of the acaryas! I had never
met such a human being. This much I knew after the first day. He
let everybody come so close to him. That was a real fantastic
experience, because "gurus usually distance themselves from all
people. Not him, though. Maharaja loves to be with the
people.

One thing quickly appeared in my mind: He was treating


everyone in the same all-loving manner. He really loved us all.
Everybody experienced this. There was no discrimination, no

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reservation. Everybody felt his love-giving ability and everyone
felt loved by him.

What a wonderful person!, I thought many times.

During this week I became really really close with and to him.
Often I was with him in his room and we talked very intimately,
like long-lost friends, except that I considered him as my siksha-
guru, whereas he always named me his beloved friend. After a
few days it was as if we knew each other for a very long time,
maybe life-times.

What really impressed me very much was his appreciation for my


Gurudeva, 108 Om Vishnupad Sri Srimad Ananta das Babaji
Maharaja. He told me many stories about my Gurudeva, because
he knows him very well and loves him dearly. That connected us
even more.

I learned from him in this week what it really means to love.


To love Krishna means to love all living beings. Maharaja is the
perfect example of this wisdom. And I realized how far away I
am from this ideal. Maharaja never for a moment changed his
consciousness during this week. I always experienced his
radiating love, even within the little day-to-day-affairs. He
really transformed my heart and I felt so much love for him.

During his lectures I was always very impressed by his way of


explaining things to people. Never from an upper position as a
far-out guruji, but always in the position of a humble servant,
always immersed in his love for his Ishta-deva, Sri Sri Radha-
Mohanji. Like said, it was not always important what he said to
us but how he transferred the knowledge to our heart. Just his
pure presence uplifted everyone in the same room.

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Then came our last day in the ashram. I was already very sad
after waking up. The thought of leaving Maharaja broke my
heart. I never experienced anything like this. During the morning
lecture I could not even look at Maharaja. Immediately my eyes
filled up, so I just sat there in sadness. After the lecture there was
breakfast and after breakfast we had to leave. The devotees were
gathered on a large breakfast-table-row, like 15 on each side, left
and right. Maharaja was sitting at the head of the table-setup.

I had to approach him to say good-bye. Hardly was I able to do


it. But I went to him. I said, Maharaja, we have to leave. He
asked,

What? Now? How can you ever leave me?

I was flabbergasted and didn't know what to do. Then he


embraced me and I embraced him. During this loving embrace I
started to cry and I whispered,

You are like my real father!

Then I cried like a little child and my voice died. His voice also
choked and died. Then I had to go away from him, still crying
like a little boy, tears flowing like little streams. I saw then that
Maharaja was also near tears and he had to leave the table, too.
He went inside the house to compose himself and came out
again.

We were by then already on our way to our car. Even Krishna


Chandra started to cry like a child. I have never experienced
anything like this in my whole life. Kalindi dd drove us then
down to our car and I cried even in her car. I could not stop.
Sitting later in our car, slowly driving away, I really shook like a
madman and tears continued to flow like rivers. But then I had to
laugh. Really loud, too. Then again the crying. I thought,

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OK, I am going nuts now. What is going on?

Laughing, crying, laughing, crying - the world around me


disappeared fully. We needed to enter a supermarket for buying
food. Impossible. I was not able to leave the car, so Govinda
priya dd went alone. Slowly I came back to normal
consciousness, but only after an hour or so. Unbelievable.

I was so wholeheartedly confused about this other-worldly


experience that I wrote a letter to my own Gurudeva at Sri
Radhakunda. I told him the whole story, including the madness
in the car. His reply was stunning. He told me that he was very
happy for me, because I had a real experience of the spiritual
consciousness. He told me that all this laughing and crying was
utterly real and symptoms of spiritual ecstasy. Clearly my
Gurudeva made the point that I was very fortunate and that this
ecstasy was only possible by the close association of a great soul,
a mahatma.

One second in the presence of a realized soul can change your life
forever. He quoted Sri Caitanya Charitamrita 22.54

sadhu-sanga, sadhu-sanga - sarva-sastre kaya


lava-matra sadhu-sange sarva-siddhi haya

The verdict of all revealed scriptures is that by even a moment's


association with a pure devotee, one can attain all success.

I am forever thankful to His Holiness Sripad BV Sadhu Maharaja


for this experience and I will never forget any second of it. It was
his mercy and my life changed. Up until now, 2010, Maharaja
slept in our house three times and our relationship is on a level
which I can hardly describe. Things happened during those four
years - impossible to even imagine. My beloved soulmate,
Govinda priya dd, who never took initiation before, found in

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Maharaja the guru of her heartfelt longings and I witnessed this
uplifting change in consciousness in her even more than in me.

All glories to a real friend of the fallen!

Part 2 Travelling with a Sadhu in the USA

Wednesday, August 17th

Arriving in Lake George

After a long flight and a long drive from New York City, we
finally arrived at the Legacy Inn, a Motel owned by Maharajas
sons Priyesh and Raj.

It was very very easy to find, because from the road we could see
a man with saffran robes standing in front of the Inn, waving very
friendly at us in the car. So we turned left, got out of our car and
offered full obeisances to his feet...

After one and a half year, it was overwhelming to see Sripad


Sadhu Maharaja again. So what followed were big hearty hugs
for both of us. It was as if no time had passed between
us...immediately we were in the presence of a great great human
being.

We talked a bit and he showed us the premises and he waqs very


proud that his sons take so nicely care of the two Motels, here the
Legacy Inn and in Warrensburg, the Budget Inn.

After arriving, he invited us for prasadam (holy food) and we


glady accepted. After that we moved into our room and went into
deep-sleep-mode.

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Thursday, August 18th

The next day, after morning practices (meditation, japa and puja)
I went for a swim in the Inns swimming pool.

It was wonderful to just chill out in the wonderful weather with


Maharaja and we talked a lot this day. Maharaja asked about all
his disciples in Europe, about the festival in Dole (France) and
we answered all his questions. He told us different stories from
his wonderful tour in South America and we listened, completely
mesmerized.

During the day, his son Raj (owner of the Inns) arrived and we
immediately bonded strongly with him and a wonderful
friendship started.

The Inn also has rooms for people who need social services, so
we hang out with Maharaja and different people from the Legacy
Inn.

One guy just came out of prison and he really was a bad guy. But
Maharajas presence for a few days completely transformed him. I
could NOT believe that this person was in prison for over 20
years. He adored Maharaja and said that he stole his
heart...wow...

In the evening Raj provided 4 tickets for the boat-ride on Lake


George with a ship called "Minne-haha". So, Govinda priya,
Maharaja and my humble self went downtown to the Lake and
cruised with the ship, Maharaja on board!!!

Yep, you should have seen the looks of the people on the
ship...very funny.

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After the cruise we went for a nice coffee and then back home to
the Legacy Inn.

Maharaja told us, that in the evening they would have huge
fireworks down at the Lake and he woould love to watch it with
us from the Inn. So at 8.30 pm we watched the fireworks and had
a wonderful time outside.

Needless to say that in his association you feel bliss at every


second. Again, we talked the whole day and everything Maharaja
says makes a deep imprint in your heart.

Govinda priya went with Raj to the other motel to help him with
something and when she came back she said:

"Tarun, we have a new brother."

Friday, August 19th

So, after two wonderful days with Maharaja at the Legacy Inn
the plan was to drive to the place of Priyesh, his youngest son,
who lives with his mother, Maharajas former wife, in Albany.

So in the early morning we drove there. What an honour to meet


a) another son of Maharaja and b) his former wife, called Mataji.
She is a truly wonderful lady-devotee and you just can do nothing
but love her.

She could for us all a most wonderful breakfast and we were


immediately wholeheartedly welcomed by her.

Especially she was fond of my wife, Govinda priya. There was at


once a wonderfully deep, like mother-daughter connection. Also
I was very soon welcomed in her beautiful home and heart. She
really radiates a very special power of deep love for Radha and
Krishna.

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So after breakfast, we drove to our first living base in North
Andover (Mass). Maharaja knows there two wonderful devotees
named Sridhar and Dr Deepa, both husband and wife and
devotees of Sri Ramanuja Acarya.

It was really unbelievable how much love they had for


Maharaja...all starting with proper welcome-ceremony aka foot-
washing.

We found our beautiful room in their cellar and felt very very
happy. After arriving, sumptuous prasadam was served and we
all ate heartily and talked about many different things.

Then after some rest, we started for our 1st program. It was
located in New Hampshire and Siddhanta das was the organizer.

We arrived a little late because Maharaja had to go to the dentist.


Fortunately, Dr Deepa is one and she took great care of
Maharaja. He really was in horrible pain for the last days and it
was necessary to pull a tooth, shortly before leaving for New
Hampshire.

So with a little lateness and painkillers for Maharaja, we arrived


at the program and miraculously Maharaja delivered a wonderful
lecture, based on the theme of sambhanda-jnana, knowledge of
our relationship with Krischna and about the importance of
hearing in great association (sadhu-sanga). People fell in love
with him and pretty soon I realized how wonderful Maharaja
was taking the people up from where they are spiritually. He
knows the art of "reading" the atmosphere in the room, the
combined consciousnesses of all there and speaks accordingly.

Questions were answered and prasadam was served and a


beautiful 1st program found its end.

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After the program, we drove back to Sridhar/Deepas place and
rested peacefully for the night.

Saturday, August 20th

After a wonderful south Indian breakfast, we had superb


harikatha from Maharaja and also from Sridhar das, about the
importance of sadhu-sanga and spiritual life.

Then we went a out a bit for "fresh air", meaning we took a walk
to the nearby Starbucks, which Maharaja dearly loves...LOL.

Then after some rest, we had more talks and soon we prepared
ourselves for the drive to Rhode Island, where the 2nd program
weas about to take place.

We arrived at Madhuri dds house in Providence and from her


place we drove to the appartment of Sri Krischna, a wonderful
devotee who invited us for lunch prasadam. He cooked a glorious
feast and Maharaja decided to stay there for bthe afternoon and
talk and rest. So we drove together with Madhuri dd back to her
place and went shopping for the feast to be served at the evening
program.

So, after shopping, my wife and Dr Deepa helped me to cook a


feast for the program. We made Dal, Subji, Rice, Raita and Salad
and shortly after offering Maharaja arrived with Sridhar and Sri
Krischna and slowly slowly the first souls arrived...

The house was packed and the lecture was again very beautiful.
Maharaja put emphasis again on good association and he made
the point of always remembering Krishna and never forget him.

He asked Sridhar to tell the story of Gajendra the elephant and


his fight with the crocodile.

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He quoted the verse:

name ruci, jive daya, vaisnave ullasa


daya kari deha more, ohe krsna-dasa

O servant of Sri Krsna, please be merciful and give me a taste for


sri-nama and compassion for all jivas and let me delight in the
association of Vaisnavas.

He wonderfully explained three topics:

1) jiva daya - compassion to all living entities.

This he said means that we should start with our own self. We
have to know our self and LOVE it. Then only are we able to
love others and ultimately Krishna. Many people only try to love
Krishna and they neglect the people in this world, most of all,
themselves. I too was a victim of this bhogus-philosophy.

Maharaja saved me by clearly showing me how to first of all love


your self and then go on from there...very important point for me
and all the guest agreed totally.

2) name ruci - taste for chanting Krishnas name

Only by loving your own soul and the other souls we can develop
love for Krishna and His Holy Name, the most important item in
bhakti-yoga. If you have no love for everyone, no love for
Krishna will be able to sprout, Maharaja explained.

3) Vaishnava-ullasa - delight in the presence of Vaishnavas

Always try to be in association with like-minded souls, devoted


to the same goal in the same mood. Always try to serve those
Vaishnavas, make friends with them, listen to them. Maharaja

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spoke very strongly on this point and on not committing offenses
to the Vaishnavas and to all jivas.

The questions were really awesome and Maharaja expertly


answered them to the full satisfaction of the ones who asked.

Prasadam was served and friendly chatter swept through the


house, everyone in deep affection to Maharaja and by his grace to
one and another.

Pretty late we drove to our "home" in North Andover and fell


asleep instantly.

Sunday, August 21th

Again, after morning sadhana, we had a wonderful south indian


breakfast and Maharaja went with us for "fresh air", now a very
funny inside joke...lol.

The whole morning was immersed in wonderful short talks and


great instructions from Maharaja.

Sridhar spoke about his lineage, the Sri-sampradaya, headed by


Sri Ramanuja Acarya. More and more I liked to hear him speak
and my foolish ego got more quiet.

Sridhar beautifully explained the prayers of the Alvars, especially


about one dealing with bhakti to Krishna in Vrindavan.

Maharaja commented and elaborated here and there and it was


very very nice to hear about these stories.

In the afternoon we drove to Holbrook, Mass, for the


Janmastami festival at the Braj Mandir there.

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Maharaja was invited there as a special guest, honouring the
functions. We experienced bhajans, a very nice Bhagavatam
class, kirtan, superb prasadam and a wonderful bathing
ceremony.

Truly enriched in our spiritual life, we returned home to our


North Andover house-base.

Monday, August 22th

Needless to say...Dr Deepa again "killed" us with a superb


breakfast.

After breakfast we drove to West Concord (MASS) to the healing


center of Nimai Caitany das, where Maharaja was supposed to
receive an accupuncture treatment.

WE arrive there at 11.30 am and were heartly welcomed by


Nimai who never saw Maharaja before...and it was love at first
sight. Also we felt a very deep bonding of our souls...instant
friendship developed.

During Nimais accupuncture treatment, Maharaja asked me to


read loud from Sripad Vishvanatha Cakravartipadas "Raga
vartma chandrika:

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Maharaja brilliantly explained vaidhi-bhakti and raganuga-
bhakti...revealing true inner realizations...not meant for public
readers, though. We three, my wife, Nimai and myself were
completely blown away by the deep insights of Maharaja about
our goal of life, prema...unbelievable...

After the treatment of Maharaja and actually also our treatment,


we drove to Nimais beautiful home in Maynard (MASS).

There we were welcomed by his wonderful wife and his kids and
the sister of Nimais wife.

In the living room Maharaja immediately started speaking about


the process of pure bhakti, encouraging the 3 new people he just
met and they loved him from minute one.

After a wonderful introduction about the true nature of bhakti by


Nimai (reading Bhajana rahasya-verses), Maharaja commented
on them beautifully and went into the tattva of abhideya, the
knowledge about the "what-to-do" in bhakti-yoga.

He told me to explain Sripad Rupa Goswamis verse in Bhakti


rasamrta sindhu:

adau sraddha tatah sadhu-


sango 'tha bhajana-kriya
tato 'nartha-nivrttih syat
tato nistha rucis tatah
athasaktis tato bhavas
tatah premabhyudancati
sadhakanam ayam premnah
pradurbhave bhavet kramah

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"In the beginning there must be faith. Then one becomes
interested in associating with pure devotees. Thereafter one is
initiated by the spiritual master and executes the regulative
principles under his orders. Thus one is freed from all unwanted
habits and becomes firmly fixed in devotional service. Thereafter,
one develops taste and attachment. This is the way of sadhana-
bhakti, the execution of devotional service according to the
regulative principles. Gradually emotions intensify, and finally
there is an awakening of love. This is the gradual development of
love of Godhead for the devotee interested in Krishna
consciousness."

I tried to explain the different stages and we all agreed that it is a


long way to the top, but totally achievable in the association of
sadhus, Maharaja as the best example.

After a wonderful lunch on the porch of Nimais house, we drove


back to the healing center for the evening program there. We
started with wonderful bhajan-songs and Maharaja gave a very
nice lecture.

Again I realized how expertly Maharaja "feels" his audience.


Many of the people had no clear conception of God as a true
spiritual person, and so he cleverly talked according to their
understanding, slowly bringing them near to our concept of a
personal God. But never once he "forced" his opinion on
someonme else. He truly knows the art of comforting even the
hardcore impersonalists or even atheists. They all just love him
and all barricades break down.

Many questions and again, wonderful prasadam. But the quest


for truth of the audience did not end. After eating, they again
bombarded Maharaja with intelligent questions and he gently
replied to all of them. Again we could see a true master of
understanding and compassion at work.

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Again we drove home after the wonderful program, fully satisfied
and full of DEEPEST impressions of bhakti-tattva.

Tuesday, August 23th

On this day, we had kind of a "day-off", but not really...

We fasted until noon and it was actually "our own" Janmastami


day. In the morning Maharaja spoke about Krishnas birth and
Sridhar read another poem of one of the Alvars and the poem
was about Krishnas birth too. Very ecstatically it described the
circumstances, both in Mathura and then in Vraja. All of us really
entered the spirit of Janmastami.

Dr Deepa had a wonderful idea...she made a paste from rice flour


and water and with it she "painted" Krishnas footprints on the
floor, leading from outside into the kitchen...

It really looked wonderful and helped "stimulating" the


mood...Maharaja also was in bliss.

For hours we talked and Dr Deepa was preparing a HUGE


feast!!!!

Spontaneously we decided to invite Nimai Caitanya and his wife,


but only Nimai found the time.

When he came, we continued talking about bhakti-tattva and


Maharaja had Nimai read from Brahma-samhita by Sripad
Narayana Maharaja the chapter about the gopal-mantra.

What an ecstatic reading with the comments of Sripad Sadhu


Maharaja.

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After some time, the cooking was done and we were short before
the offereing ceremony. Sridhar sang beautiful prayer-hymns and
then offered the food also to my Sri Giriraja.

During and after the ceremony we sang beautiful bhajans and


then Dr Deepa and Govinda priya served the best feast EVER.

After prasadam, we chilled out a bit on the couch and everyone


shared some realizations.

Short before he left, Nimai gave Maharaja another accupuncture


treatment and a nice massage. It broke his heart to leave
Maharaja, but late at night, he had to.

He stayed in contact the whole time and he even called Maharaja


on the last day, 15 minutes before Maharajas flight was due.

We truly found another brother in Nimai...now our family grew


and grew...Madhuri, Sridhar, Dr Deepa, Nimai, his wife...what
great souls we were allowed to meet by the mercy of Sripad
Sadhu Maharaja!!!!

Wednesday, August 24th

After our own personal wonderful Janmastami, it weas time to


say goodbye to our new family, Dr Deepa and Sridhar. Breakfast
again was unbelievable and then we packed our things with a
heavy heart.

Tears were shed on all sides and in separation we drove away.


But not too far away, for Maharaja wanted some "fresh air" at a
location which rhymes with "Schmar Schnucks"...lol.

From there we drove to New York in about 4 hours and again,


we had the experience of Maharaja telling us many many

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intimate sharings which we "swallowed" with our yearning
hearts.

The next location for a few days would be in Tarrytown, NY at a


place called The White House and really, it was a White House.

It stood on private property and was the home of a very nice


pastor there.

We were welcomed by two elderly ladies, D and Genie and also


the pastor joined us soon enough.

We had leftovers from our wonderful Janmastami-prasadam and


we made platews for everyone in the room.

They immediately fell in love with our kind-hearted Maharaja


and they hung on his words with all their attention.

Since they are practicing Christians and Maharaja knows and


LOVES Jesus, they at once entered common territory and
Maharaja again ecstatically interwove eastern and western
philosophy. Maqharaja knows the Bible very well because he
went to a good catholic school and he adores Jesus and his true
teachings.

After the wonderful sit-in and talk, each went to his/her room
and took a little rest.

In the evening a program was scheduled in NYC at Lalitamba


Mandiram (110 West 86th street).

Again, a completely different crowd gathered, mainly esoteric


searchers.

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There Maharaja spoke about the importance of our relationship
with a personal God. Love needs two, he said. When you
"become" God, there will be no more love, no exchange of love.

He truly represented the teachings of our bhakti-tradition again


without forcefully "imposingt" our ideals on the audience. But
they accepted anyway, just because they loved Maharaja.

Again I had a deep realization: Even here, deep in New York


City, many sould wandered to this evening program, without
even knowing what would they receive or whom they would
meet...

Again I could see how Maharaja immediately stole their hearts


with his true humility and honest love and compassion for all the
beings.

Each person in that smallish room felt loved and respected and
just at peace.

This was the day when the enormous loving service of the couple
Krishna Das and his wife Lalita dasi started. From now on, they
catered prasadam to each and every program in NYC...absolutely
stunning in quantity AND quality!!!!

After prasadam we left for our new residency, the White House
in Tarrytown and everyone rested very nicely.

Thursday, August 25th

This was to become a very very astonishing and marvellous day...

After resting and sadhana-practice in the morning, Maharaja was


invited to the home of (another wonderful) Deepa from India to
have breakfast at her place.

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And again we found another family member...another sister with
a beautiful heart...

She cooked a wonderful breakfast meal and she invited 4 more


devotees, so it became a small program.

One nice devotee and his wife had a book with them about the
Ratha Yatra-festival in Puri.

I had to read an excerpt and Maharaja went really very very


deep.

He explained the true inner meaning of the cart-festival.

"What means the Jagannatha-temple? It means that Krishna is


now in Dvaraka, living in opulence. What means the Gundica-
temple? It represents Vrindavan. Who is pulling the cart?
Mahaprabhu in the mood of Radhika. So actually, Krishna is
leaving Dvaraka for Vrindavana for one week."

Maharaja elaborated on the emotions of the inhabitants of Vraja,


awaiting THEIR Krishna and tears welled up in his eyes...the
atmosphere in the room changed and EVERYONE could "feel"
the pangs of separation which Maharaja felt...unbelievable...one
moment we chill out at a wonderful breakfast, next minutes we
are in Vrindavan...wow!!!

After this truly moving story we had to leave for the afternoon
program.

Saranagati dd oranized together with other persons a conference


at the UN-Plaza. The conference was called "Peace after
consciousness" and Maharaja was scheduled to speak there. So
we drove there and it was very impressive. The huge UN-
building-komplex with all the flags and we are there in the
middle...interesting...

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After introductory speeches and very nice singing from a famous
lady-singer, Maharaja also started to sing "Radhe Govinda" and
slowly the room started to fill up and the atmosphere changed
AGAIN...love was in the air!!!!

Then Maharaja spoke on "REAL PEACE". You only can be at


peace when you know your self, your relationship with the
Highest Self and know about what to do. He called bhakti "love-
in-action" and everybody could grasp the meaning at once.
THere is only one goal, pure love of God and we all are brothers
and sisters. No need for any qualification, no need for racism,
this -ism that -ism...love is universal, Maharaja said. And I
watched every face and every pair of eyes and every pair of ears
was in tune with Maharaja.

The room was full and Maharaja went a little deeper in the
understanding of our PERSONAL relationship with God
(Krishna). Many questions and again masterful answers...

Again Krishna das and Lalita dasi served wonderful prasadam


and everyone was in bliss.

After eating, Maharaja was asked to be part of a internet-


television show, which can be watched very soon at

www.newrealities.com.

The moderator, Alan Steinfeld, asked Maharaja many questions


and Maharaja was very nicely explaing to him every aspect of
personal Godhead. He strongly emphasized on the concept of the
soul and the Highest Soul and the love between them.He rejected
the modern idea of merging into God or becoming God in a very
funny and heart-warming way, without being forceful or
imposing.

22
After the program in the UN-Plaza, we drove back to our White
House in Tarrytown. The evening program was scheduled there
and Maharaja was invited to speak to the Christian community
of Tarrytown.

So after a short rest, the program started at 7:30 pm.

Many members of their community arrived and after a short


bhajan-singing, Maharaja asked me to read from of their books, a
comparative study of different religions on different topics.

Maharaja chose the topic "LIBERATION" and he had me read a


verse from the Bible:

"The Spirit of the Lord is on me,


because he has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
and recovery of sight for the blind,
to release the oppressed,
to proclaim the year of the Lords favor." (LUKE 4, 18-19)

Maharaja explained, that there are 3 important things here:

The spirit, God and Jesus. The spirit is the energy of God, God is
the person God and Jesus is the self-realized master.

Maharaja explained what "annointed me" means: The Lord gave


His mercy to Jesus and made him self-realized, imbibed him with
the guru-potency. So Jesus was able to preach good news to the
poor. Who is poor? Everyone in the bodily conception of life is
poor. We all are. What means freedom for the prisoners? Who is
a prisoner? Again, we all are. Prisoners in our body, ruled by the
senses, no peace, always pain. Freedom? Only realzing the self as
soul brings freedom, liberation. No waiting for death and then

23
freedom (liberation). No, in this lfe, freedom is possible by
realizingthe soul and its eternal relationship to Krishna. Blind?
Our eyes are blinded by ignorance. We are all ignorant of our
true self, of our beloved God. So the great masters came to give
freedom, to open our eyes for divya-jnana, divine knowledge and
ultimately divine vision.

You could here a needle reak havoc in the room...total


stillness...Maharaja really was at his best...quoting scriptures here
and there...unbelievable...Amen, Amen, here and over there,
Amen and Amen again...the people were thunderstruck by
Maharajas words of wisdom, of his ability to combine their true
faith with the spirit of true, pure bhakti.

At the end one lady had to read the letters of St. Paul.

The Supremacy of Love

If I speak in the languages of humans and angels but have no love, I have
become a reverberating gong or a clashing cymbal.
If I have the gift of prophecy and can understand all secrets and every
form of knowledge, and if I have absolute faith so as to move mountains
but have no love, I am nothing.
Even if I give away everything that I have and sacrifice myself, but have
no love, I gain nothing.
Love is always patient;
love is always kind;
love is never envious
or arrogant with pride.
Nor is she conceited,
and she is never rude;
she never thinks just of herself
or ever get annoyed.
She never is resentful;
is never glad with sin,
but always glad to side with truth,
whene'er the truth should win.

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She bears up under everything,
believes the best in all,
there is no limit to her hope,
and she will never fall.
Love never fails.
Now if there are prophecies, they will be done away with.
If there are languages, they will cease. If there is knowledge, it will be
done away with.
For what we know is incomplete and what we prophesy is incomplete.
But when what is complete comes, then what is incomplete will be done
away with.
When I was a child, I spoke like a child, thought like a child, and
reasoned like a child.
When I became a man, I gave up my childish ways.
Now we see only an indistinct image in a mirror, but then we will be face
to face.
Now what I know is incomplete, but then I will know fully, even as I
have been fully known.
Right now three things remain: faith, hope, and love.
But the greatest of these is love.

(1 Corinthians 13)

We should become again like a child, Maharaja said. With a


pure, innocent heart we can all see God face to face.
Like a dirty mirror needs to be cleaned, our heart needs to be
cleaned...by chanting the Lords Holy Name our heart, our
internal mirror becomes pure and then we can see our self and
the Self of God.

ceto-darpana-marjanam bhava-maha--davagni-nirvapanam
shreyah-kairava-chandrika-vitaranam vidya-vadhu-jivanam
anandambudhi-vardhanam prati-padam purnamritaswadanam
sarvatma-snapanam param vijayate sri-krishna-sankirtanam

Glory to the Sri Krishna Sankirtana, which cleanses the heart of


all the dust accumulated for years and extinguishes the fire of

25
conditional life, of repeated birth and death. This sankirtana
movement is the prime benediction for humanity at large because
it spreads the rays of the benediction moon. It is the life of all
transcendental knowledge. It increases the ocean of
transcendental bliss, and it enables us to fully taste the nectar for
which we are always anxious.

After the speech many persons asked very personal questions and
Maharaja answered them again to their full satisfaction. One
issue was the importance of true family life and he made a strong
point in being a very good and truthful and caring parent if we
want our children to be happy.

Again, for the 2nd time this day, Krishna das and his wife served
wonderful prasadam and everyone loved it.

After eating, some devotees stayed up with us and Maharaja until


1:00 pm, discussing many intimate things of bhakti-interest.

Friday, August 26th

After a good morning with rest and morning practices Maharaja


was greeted by the school children of the Church in Tarrytown.
They loved our signs on our foreheads called "tilak" and most of
them wanted to have one. So I marked them with the sign of
bhakti!

Then we went on our way to our next program. This one was
scheduled in Jackson Heights in a company room called "Parents
in action".

We arrived there early, like 11:45 am and Maharaja had a


pleasant talk with the store owner and soon they were talking
about philosophy, the owner being a devotee of Sai Baba.

26
The subject matter was Maharaja Pariksit and his remaining
seven days...

The evening program was in New Jersey.

We arrived there in the evening before Maharaja. It was in


Englewood, New Jersey at the lovely home of Jay Sri dd. She
was just finishing cooking and so we helped her prepare the
lecture room with cushions and pillows and stuff... And then
Maharaja came to the house. Then lecture started and he started
by describing the wonderful pictures on the wall, done by
Syamarani dd. We were all spellbound. There were like 5 of
them, one more beautiful than the others...and Maharaja
beautified them even MORE!!!! Then he had me bring in one of
Sripad Narayana Maharajas books, so I went and got it. Then I
had me choose a nice verse and since he was very nicely
explaining the maha-mantra in the beginning of the class, I chose
some verses from Bhaktivinod Thakurs "Bhajana rahasya" about
the glories of the Holy Name and Maharaja was very happy with
my choice.

The lecture went on very nicely and Maharaja spoke very strong
about being in the right association, aiming at the right goal. He
clearly made the point that Caitanya Mahaprabhu gave us
something special, something never given before. Maharaja
focused the subject of manjari-bhava, the highest rasa possible.
He said we are all Radhikas servants, female servants of course.
He really went deep into the topic of Radha-dasyam, servitude to
Radhika. Krishna is only interseting for us because He is Radhas
Krishna. We love Radhika more. We only live to be with and
FOR Her. Everyone was so mesmerized, again. But since here
were more senior devotees present, Maharaja decided to speak on
another level, much deeper than before because the audience
could digest it. And they LOVED it.

27
Many questions were asked and always he came up with the best
answer.

So right after that, wonderful prasadam was served and everyone


ate to their gusto. Thank you, dear Jay Sri dd for hosting such a
wonderful program.

Maharaja also had some prasadam and he was very happy with
everything, especially with the fact, that his daughter-in-law
Diana showed up with his grand-kids (2 boys and 1 girl). He
decided to stay with his family for the night and after the feast
they were ready to go.

Everyone wanted to say goodbye and like always, Maharaja gave


everyone a hug.

Then Maharaja left with his family and we drove straight to


Tarrytown.

Saturday, August 27th

At about 6.30 am Maharaja called and told us to meet him


outside the house in one hour to go to the next program at the
Omega Center. Then, some time later he called again and told us
to meet him at Exit 13 on the way to Albany.

He cancelled the program in Long Island because at 12:00 that


day they closed all traffic in NYC, no buses, no subways, pure
mess.

So we met with him and with his daughter-in-law Diana at said


Exit and from there we drove on to the highway 87 towards
Albany. We decided to sleep over in his son Priyeshs place and
go there right now because the hurricane came closer. In the
evening there was a program scheduled in Rhinebeck at the

28
Omega center, but it started at 8:00 pm and for this night, there
were big hurricane warnings...

We arrived at Priyeshs place in Albany, had a wonderful lunch


cooked by Mataji and rested for the rest of the day and watched
CNN for hurricane news. At 5:00 pm, Maharaja decided to
cancel the evening program. It just was too dangerous. So we
stayed there for the night.

Sunday, August 28th

After a very nice breakfast, consisting of Lasagne, pasta and


green salad (LOL) we all drove together to the Legacy Inn in
Lake George. Maharaja, Priyesh, Mataji, Govinda priya and me.

There we met with Raghunatha Batta and his wife who were
eagerly awaiting Maharaja. Also we were very happy to meet
again with our brother Raj and the guys staying at the Legacy
Inn. It just IS a wonderful place to be and chill out in beautiful
natural surroundings.

In the afternoon, Maharaja gave his best lecture. I never heard


him speak like that. He spoke on guru-tattva, commenting on
Narottama Thakurs "Sri Guru Carana Padma".

(1)

r-guru-carana-padma,
kevala-bhakati-sadma,
bando mui svadhna mate
jhra prasde bhi,
e bhava toriy ji,
krsna-prpti hoy jh ha'te

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(2)

guru-mukha-padma-vkya,
cittete koribo aikya,
r n koriho mane
r-guru-carane rati,
ei se uttama-gati,
je prasde pre sarva

(3)
caksu-dn dilo jei,
janme janme prabhu sei,
divya jn hrde prokito
prema-bhakti jh hoite,
avidy vina jte,
vede gy jhra carito

(4)

r-guru karun-sindhu,
adhama janra bandhu,
lokanth lokera jvana
h h prabhu koro doy,
deho more pada-chy,
ebe jaa ghusuk tribhuvana

Honestly, this lecture answered ALL of my questions and those


of my wife. He exactly KNEW what was on our minds and just
spoke about it. It was utterly fantastic. Extremely sweet and
ocean-deep.

Then came the blackout, no more electricity. So Raj, Govinda,


Mataji and me went to Walmart to get some candles.

30
Maharaja was very tired so hewent to sleep short after we
brought the candles and he took us both with him to his room,
where we had a wonderful confidential talk about special-guru-
seva, mentioned by Sripad Jiva Goswami.

After that we had a wonderful candle-light-sit-in with Raj up to


midnight and then we went to bed, dog-tired!

Monday, August 29th

Today was the appearance day of Sripad Gour Govinda Swami,


the guru of our friend Raghunatha Batta das. So he together with
his wife organized a program in the living of Raj at the Legacy
Inn and during the program, his wife cooked a nice feast.

Raghunatha Batta das very nicely spoke about his meetings with
his Gurudeva and about his realizations. Then Maharaja spoke a
bit and we had some bhajans.

Feast was served and after the feast, we went outside into the
sunshine to relax.

I decided to go for a last swim in the swimming pool, much to


the delight of Maharaja.

At about 15:30 pm we said goodbye to our new brother Raj and


even I shed some tears, because we really developped a deep
friendship and it always is hard to say goodbye to a good friend.
But we will come back!

We arrived again at Priyeshs place and in the evening Mataji


cooked a nice dinner.

I invited my longtime friend Paramananda das (Porcelly) and his


girlfriend and Maharaja was very pleased to see them both. He
spoke with them for some time, let them accept prasadam and

31
after a nice little sit-in, they left and we started packing and
confirming our flights, because tomorrow was Maharajas and our
flight.

So, after arranging everything nicely, everyone went to sleep.

Tuesday, August 31th

Departure day.

At 7:30 am, we said goodbye (again) with a heavy heart to Mataji


and Priyesh and we thanked them for their unbelievable
hospitality and kindness. It was not from this world. Their
association is PRICELESS!

Govinda priya dd mastered the enormous challenge to drive all


the way from Albany to JKF in New York City.

By Maharajas mercy, everything went very smoothly and we


arrived safely at Terminal 4 at 11:55 am.

Maharajas flight was at 4:35pm, so we had a picnic at the airport


with lots of instructional talks by Maharaja and then he went
through Gate 7 at about 2:30pm. "My time now is over. No
crying now, just a quick goodbye!"

And there we stood, watching him disappear into the crowd, his
silvery hair on the horizon of human beings and then he was
gone.

But NOT from our heart. There, he will ALWAYS stay, our
dearly beloved siksa-guru und Gurudeva!!!!

I cannot even begin to describe what that trip meant to us...what


INCREDIBLE mercy came upon us...it was like a dream and
then better...and with tears in my eyes I mentally bow down to a

32
TRUE sad-guru who REALLY lives a LIFE OF LOVE, showing
it to others...how it really can be done.

There are no words good enough to use as a "thank you-note".


None. But my heart will tell him my eternal thank you when I
meet him again.

All glories to Sripad Sadhu Maharaja!

Part 3 - Living with a Sadhu in Vraja dhama

For the time from December the 26th until January the 6th
Govinda priya dd and me had the fantastic opportunity to visit
the Holy Land of Vrindavana, where the Divine Couple eternally
plays Their amourous pastimes. But not only that, we had been
very fortunate to be able to live with Sripad Sadhu Maharaja in
his beautiful temple, called Mungir Mandir. We already talked
on the phone so many times and obviously we have been very
eager to go there. Maharaja told us that our rooms are already
booked and so the journey was about to beginwe counted the
days, the hours, the minutes Two friends of us also decided to
come with us to Vrindavana: Premavati dd (a wonderful disciple
of Sripad Sadhu Maharaja) and Diana. So on December 25th, we
all four met in the train to Frankfurt airport and everyone was
VERY excited!!!

After a long journey with a stop-over in Bahrain, we safely


arrived in Delhi on December 26th. There, we were greeted
warmly by a Vrajavasi-taxi-driver with a sign that read: Sadhu
Maharaja welcomes you! Yeah!

Monday, December 26th

33
Three and a half hour in the taxi, between being half-asleep and
half-awake we slowly came nearer to the area of Vrindavana.
Everyone knows, when you make the last turn in the left
direction, Vrindavan is no more far away! And yes, soon enough
we parked in front of the wonderful gate of the most beautiful
Mungir Mandir.

After unloading our stuff and a short darshan of the wonderful


Divine Couple, Sri Sri Radha Mohan, we went to the room of
Sripad Sadhu Mahara, which is situated right under the altar of
Sri Sri Radha Mohan in a cave-like room, very big in size.

And there was our beloved Sripad Sadhu Maharaja, in the midst
of his beloved followers and some more, sitting relaxed and very
fresh looking in his chair to the left side when you enter. What a
wonderful meet and greetimmediately we made full danavat-
pranams (respectful obeisances) and immediately after getting up
he was also standing, hugging everybody full of love and very
tightly. It is a truly wonderful thing to come to Vrindavana, but it
is truly more wonderful to do so in the association of a sadhu and
under his loving guidance. What a nice meeting-again after the
wonderful US-tour.

He looked so relaxed and young and full of energy and he


welcomed us all in a very loving manner.

Arriving shortly before us were Paramahamsa das and Hansaduta


priya dd and with them were two couples, one with two young
children. Mohan das and Kishori dd and Arjuna das and
Yashoda dd with their kids Viola and Hannes.

So we hugged each other and came to know them by name and it


would not be long, and a nice friendship would develop.

34
After some time, we went back to our room unpacking and
settling in, resting for some hours.

Sripad Sadhu Maharaja recommended to make a trip to the


Yamuna and take part in the evening arati-ceremony there,
where local devotees offer lights and flowers at Keshi Gata to the
wonderful river called Yamuna (where Krishna wanders at night
on the banks with the gopis).

Two people would especially grow heart-close to us: our brothers


Raseshvara das and Kanhai das, the fullsurrendereddisciples of
Maharaja who take care of, well, EVERYTHING happening at
Mungir Mandir, 24/7, all day they are truly most beloved friends
and absolutely wonderful human beings. No money in the world
can come close to the value of what they both did for us
Westerners there at Mungir Mandir, ALL THE TIME.
Unbelievable. We are eternally thankful for their warm-hearted
support.

So, at something like 1500h, we went by rikshaws to Kesi Ghata


and there we walked around until we arrived at the place, where
the local devotees already prepared a wonderful sit-in on the
banks of the Yamuna. We chanted a little while and talked and
relaxed, gazing at the mystically shining river in front of us, the
beautiful Yamuna.

Shortly after, the local devotees started to chant mantras and the
priests began offering various prayers to the Yamuna. Some of us
were invited to sit with them and each of us got a plate with
flower petals to be thrown into the Yamuna at their command:
svaha!

So we did exactly that. And how nice it was.

35
When the ceremony was over, some of us returned to Mungir
Mandir and some went to some temples in Vrindavana. We
went back to Mungir Mandir, ate some delicious prasadam and
spent the evening in the association of Sripad Sadhu Maharaja
and our wonderful friends, some old, some new.

We also met Shyamali dd from Switzerland and Gopalsundara


das from Germany, both we already know for quite some time.

Gopalsundara das does a wonderful job as temple-gardener there


and Shyamali dd is on her semester as a foreign exchange student
(music and singing arts). Both are jewels and grew close to us in
love.

The next day, the group with Paramahamsa das and Hamsaduta
priya dd were planning a trip to Agra to see the famous Taj
Mahal.

With a full heart and a relaxed mind by sadhu-sanga, we went to


sleep our first sleep in Vrindavan.

By the way, even sleeping in Vrindavana is considered devotional


service, since it counts as paying obeisances permanently.

Tuesday, December 26th

The group left early with lunch-parcels to Agra and we slept a


little longer to be now FULLY refreshed and relaxed for our stay
here.

After a hearty breakfast, we gave Sripad Sadhu Maharaja our


Christmas presents, consisting of a lot of fresh air (wonderful
Italian ground coffee) and some diabetes cookies from a good
health-food store in Germany. Of course Maharaja was VERY

36
happy and I was ordered to bring in some fresh Italian air
immediately. And so I did.

Soon after that pleasing exchange we went to Loi Bazaar to get


some devotional clothes and paraphernalia. Govinda priya
needed some women-clothes, Premavati dd and Diana too and I
bought also some dhotis and a chaddar (shawl).

And dumb as I am, I forgot to take off my glasses and shortly


after getting of our rikshaw, a monkey stole them off my head,
climbed onto a very high roof and chilled there. We tried to get
them back with some bananas for him. He was not very eager to
return the glasses and more so, he broke off one length-side of the
frame and then threw the glasses on the roof below him. A local
Vrajavasi went on that roof and brought the remains of the
glasses back. The lenses still were fine, but the frame was utterly
useless.

Then, back to Mungir Mandir, back to the association of Sripad


Sadhu Maharaja.

One thing immediately we realized: How incredibly merciful


Maharaja offers his time.

The door to his cave-like room (with attached sleeping chamber


and bathroom) is always open. Only a few times he put up the
sign on the door, reading REST. Not very often during our
stay

He always loves to receive guests and we tried to have his


association as often as possible.

Sripad Sadhu Maharaja just received a most wonderful book


from the devotees of Sripad BV Narayana Maharaja, called The
hidden path of devotion where Sripad BV Narayana Maharaja

37
comments on Srila Vishvanatha Chakravartipads book Raga-
vartma-chandrika.

Sripad Sadhu Maharaja is extremely happy about this book,


because he thinks that it conveys the true essence of Sriman
Mahaprabhus gift to the human race: Prema-bhakti in the mood
of a maidservant of Srimati Radhika.

Maharaja is of the opinion that this book should be read by any


sincere follower of raganuga-bhakti.

So, together we checked some parts of this marvelous book and


he told me that he wants to speak on this book for the next days.
Awesome!

Wednesday, December 28th

Today Maharaja had me read after breakfast from the book The
hidden path of devotion.

He chose the part where Srila Narayana Maharaja discusses the


verse 157 from Caitanya Caritamrta, Madhya-lila, chapter 22)

bhya, antara, ihra dui ta' sdhana


'bhye' sdhaka-dehe kare ravana-krtana
'mane' nija-siddha-deha kariy bhvana
rtri-dine kare vraje krsnera sevana

"There are two processes by which one may execute


this rgnug bhakti external and internal. When self-realized,
the advanced devotee externally remains like a neophyte and
executes all the stric injunctions, especially those concerning
hearing and chanting. But within his mind, in his internally
conceived spiritual body, he serves Krishna twenty-four hours a
day, all day and night.

38
Maharaja strongly spoke about the necessity of coming to know
ones spiritual identity with the help of ones Sri Gurudeva.
Without knowing our own identity, how is it possible to really
know Krishna?

Also, Maharaja had me explain the two ways of bhakti: vaidhi-


bhakti and raganuga-bhakti.

In the comments by Srila Narayana Maharaja, he gives an


example of this verse from the book Jaiva-dharma, where the
two main characters receive their spiritual identity from their, and
this is really VERY interesting, siksha-guru. Srila Naryana
Maharaja clearly states that the siddha-deha can also be revealed
by a bona-fide siksha-guru, in that stressing the importance not
only on the diksha-guru, but also on the siksha-guru.

Sripad Sadhu Maharaja told us that we who received diksha all


just started our class, just like a student starts his school-training.
When diksha is fully realized, the spiritual identity will be
revealed.

He told us how he entered his classroom-training and how he


himself received diksha and the full mercy thereupon from his
own Sri Gurudeva.

What a nectar discourse, what amazing insights provided by Srila


BV Sadhu Maharaja. Everyone present could feel the blessings
we all just received.

In the afternoon, our wonderful friend Svarnalata dd, the wife of


Prema Prayojana das, came for a visit. They live now in a colony
called Ananda dhama and she readily agreed to come by. We
brought her some nice German and Swiss chocolate and she
better appreciated the gift (smile). So she came and we had a

39
wonderful time with her together with Maharaja and a good dose
of Italian fresh air!

Then something extraordinary happened: Maharaja said he


would PERSONALLY drive Svarnalata dd home and we all four
should visit Prema Prayojanas new ashrama.

So at about 1700h, Kanhai das prepared Maharajas new car and


the four of us drove to Anand Dhama. Let me tell you this: this is
how a gentleman drives. Absolutely perfect and very safe!

We arrived there and sat in a class given by Prema Prayojana


das.

After the class, he invited us with Maharaja to his apartment and


we had darshan of their beautiful deities.

Maharaja and Prema exchanged some philosophical issues and


we gladly listened humbly.

Then Srila Maharaja drove us back again.

For the next days, this wonderful schedule was prepared in


unison:

Thursday, December 29th: bus-tour with Srila Sadhu


Maharaja (Raman Reti, Govardhan, Radhakunda, Vrindavana)

Friday, December 30th: marriage of Govinda priya dd and my


humble self

Saturday, December 31th: two marriages on one day (Arjuna


and Yashoda, Mohan and Kishori)

Sunday, January 1st: starting the new spiritual year with


puspanjali and a promise in front of Sri Sri Radha Mohan

40
Monday, January 2nd: group relaxing;-D

Thursday, December 29th

Wow today the tour was planned. Maharaja organized a bus


for us (20 seats) and we all drove off early in the morning.

First stop:

RAMAN RETI

While staying in Chatikara it is said that Krishna and Balarama


would come with the cowherd boys to Raman Reti daily to play.
It is also said that Krishna and Radharani would meet here every
night, before going to Vrindavana to enjoy Their pastimes. This
area is located a few km from the main downtown area. The
Krishna Balarama Temple is located in Raman Reti.

This place was totally NOT from this world.

We entered a beautiful gate and everybody had to take off their


shoes. The whole spiritual area is based on sand. So, we walked
barefoot through the most amazing sand of Raman Reti, where
Radhika and Syam meet every night

Many of us felt that this place was utterly peaceful and the
cleanliness was marvelous to behold. It was like a temple with
attached huts where the sadhus lived. Everything was so neat and
truly beautiful. A real place for meditation. When we arrived, a
ceremony was going on for the beautiful deities of Radha and
Krishna, so we entered the temple and watched in amazement.

After the ceremony, we wandered around a bit, spiritually


inhaling the nectarean atmosphere. Then we all sat down on
one spot in the sand and Maharaja began a most excellent bhajan
and we all sang along.

41
Next stop: Breakfast on the road.

After Raman Reti, we headed off in the direction of Govardhan


(Govinda Kund). On the road, Maharaja found a restaurant with
enough tables, talked with the owner and soon we all sat there,
enjoying OUR food we brought along with us and sipping
THEIR Indian chai. Funny.

Next stop: Govardhana, better yet, Govinda Kunda, at the feet


of Giriraja Govardhana.

During the drive, Maharaja had me explain to the guests, who


are not that much experienced in bhakti-yoga, the importance
and the significance of Krishnas beloved mountain, Sri
Govardhana.

I told them the story about Indra, wanting to destroy the town of
Vrindavana and the inhabitants with torrents of rain, because
they disobeyed him and followed Krishnas advice. Out of sheer
pride, Indra assembled large thunderclouds and started to let
down rivers of rainfall. But Krishna was so eager to protect the
Vrajavasis and so He put the mountain Govardhana on his little
pinkie of his right hand and he stood there seven days and seven
nights to protect them all.

Indra saw this extraordinary thing done by Krishna and


immediately felt remorse and came to apologize thereafter.

I also told the guests the REAL reason why Krishna stood there
holding Govardhana for seven days and seven days: To gaze
upon the beauty of Radhika and so that Radhika could do the
same, unhindered, no obstacles.

42
When we arrived there, Maharaja begged us to go sit at Sri
Govinda Kund, sing some bhajan and I should explain
something more to the guests.

He wanted to rest a little.

So we went around the beautiful lake, sat very near to


Govardhan hill and sang Jaya Radhe, Jaya Krishna, Jaya
Vrindavana

I tried to explained the contents of the song. Then we sang the


Govardhanastakam and read the translation.

Arjuna das wanted a stone to worship Govardhana Hill and so he


tried to get onesila (stone) from the base of the mountain. Finally,
he found one. I thought: Oh my, usually the devotee is not
allowed to pick HIMSELF the stone

When we wanted to go back to the bus, the local residents and


protectors of Sri Govardhana freaked out and Arjuna das had to
give them the stone back.

Arriving at the bus, we told Maharaja of the pastime we


experienced. He didnt say much, but just said, that all will be
fine, we shouldnt worry

Next stop: Kusuma Sarovara

On the way, Maharaja suddenly told the driver to stop. We all


went outside and then we walked to a wonderful sitting place
near Sri Govardhan. There, a local priest welcomed us and we
sang some songs and Maharaja told us some nice stories about
Sri Giriraja and the importance of worshipping the stone from
Giriraja as Krishna Himself.

43
Let us just say that Srila Sadhu Maharaja performed a very tricky
miracle here and somehow, a wonderful stone came to Arjuna
das from the priests hands over Maharajas hands and inside the
bus. Everybody cheered and was very happy for Arjuna.

Shortly after that, we arrived at beautiful Kusuma Sarovara.

Kusuma-sarovara is on the right of the parikrama path, about


one-and-a-half miles south-west of Radha-Kunda. A forest of
flowers (kusuma) was here full of varieties of trees, creepers and
flowers like bell, cameli, juhi, yuthi, mallika and campaka.
Radhika used to come here on the pretext of picking flowers with
her sakhis, but Her real intent was to meet rasika Shri Krishna,
with whom She would have love-quarrels and sarcastic
exchanges full of rasa.

Krishna-bhavanamrta describes how one day Radhika ji was


picking flowers here with her sakhis when Krishna arrived, and
the following exchange took place:

Krishna: Who is there?

Radha: Nobody.

Krishna: Tell Me honestly, who are You?

Radha: Nobody.

Krishna: You are speaking in a very crooked way.

Radha: And You speak in a very straight way, dont You? Krishna: I am
asking You who You are.

Radha: Dont You know?

Krishna: What are You doing?

44
Radha: Picking flowers to worship the Sungod.

Krishna: Have You received permission from anyone to do so?

Radha: There is no need of anyones permission.

Krishna: Aha, I have caught a thief today. I wondered who was stealing
flowers every day and ruining this garden. Now I have caught You, and
will punish You straight away.

Radha: Since when have You become the master of this flower garden?
Have You ever planted a single flower here Have You ever even watered
one? On the contrary, You ruin this flower garden with Your hundreds
and thousands of cows and Your boisterous, brazen friends. Indeed, since
when have You become the protector of this garden?

Krishna: Do not defame a pious, righteous person like Me. Now I shall
teach You a good lesson.

Radha (smiling): Aha-ha, You are a highly pious and righteous person,
are You? You killed a woman right after Your birth; You lied to Your
mother even in childhood; You stole butter from the houses of the
neighbouring gopis; and when You became a little older, You stole the
clothes of the young gopis. Only a few days ago You killed a calf. This is
the extent of Your pious, saintly conduct.

Hearing the retort, Krishna scratched His head and looked towards clever
Madhumarigala, who advised Him, Ones wellbeing lies in remaining
quiet.

At this point, all the sakhis surrounded Shyamasundara and began to


clap.

Everybody wanderd around this Holy Place and at the end, we


all gathered around Maharaja and he told some wonderful
pastimes which happened here, similar to the one above.

45
With our hearts already full of joy and bliss the next stop would
be the most Holy Lake of the world: Sri Radhakunda.

My Sri Gurdeva, Sri Srimat Ananta das Babaji Maharaja resides


there as the Mahanta (spiritual mayor) of the town Radhakund.

On the phone inside the bus, I called my godbrother there and


asked if it would be possible to have a group-audience with my
Sri Gurudeva. Everybody was very inspired and my godbrother
told me that around 1500h would be a very good time.

And, no wonder, we arrived at Sri Radhakund at exactly some


minutes before 1500h.

Entering Sri Radhakunda is a very intimate thing: It is here,


where Radha and Krishna perform Their most intimate pastimes
and meet every day for water-plays.

Shrila Vishvanath Chakravarti Thakhur wrote his commentary on


Srimad Bhagavatam in Radhakund. When he commented on the killing
of the bull demon Aristasura by Sri Krishna in this village, he collected
about 20 texts from the Varaha-, Brahma Vaivarta- and Padma Purana
, as well as the Harivamsha on which he based his narration. The story
runs as follows : Once Sri Krishna, knowing Aristasuras intention to kill
him, came here to graze His cows. Seeing that his victim had come so
close, Aristasura thought to assume the form of a bull and finish Him off,
and so he did. On his first charge, Sri Krishna simply caught hold of his
horns and pushed him back with such a force that Aristasura lost
consciousness. On regaining his senses, he charged again, but this time
with double force. Seeing this, Sri Krishna, the origin of Mahavishnu,
simply caught hold of his horns again and picked him up like a toy,
whirled him over His head and threw him away with such a force, that
the demon lost his life-airs. Later, according to previous arrangements,
Srimati Radharani came there with Her friends to meet Sri Krishna.
When She heard that Sri Krishna had killed a bull, She refused to

46
associate with Him unless He purified Himself from the sin of bull-killing
by bathing in all the holy rivers of the universe. Sri Krishna pleaded that
since the bull was Aristasura in disguise, this was not necessary. But
Srimati Radharani said that She heard from Madhumangals
grandmother Paurnamasi that even Indra the king of the material
heavens, had to atone for the sin of killing Vritasura, who was a brahmin
by birth. Sri Krishna then asked Srimati Radharani if She would be
pleased if He called all the sacred rivers of the three worlds to come here.
Srimati Radharani replied :We are simple cowherd-village-girls. How
could we know?. Sri Krishna then replied :I will convince You . He
then struck His right heel into the ground and created a large hollow
(Vajrakund). Then He called all the sacred rivers who came in personified
forms and offered their obeissances to Him. They identified themselves as
Sri Godavari, Kaveri, Brahmaputra, Sindhu, Krishna, Gandaki,
Yamunaect, and offered prayers to Sri Krishna to become waters to fill
Syamakund. After doing this they left and Sri Krishna relieved Himself
from the sin of killing a bull to Srimati Radharanis satisfaction by
bathing in the water. He then started joking with Her:Just see what I
have done. Everyone will praise Me in the future, but what have you girls
done except selling yoghurt and clarified butter in the streets?. Srimati
exhibited her transcendental anger (Mana) and seeing a big hoofprint of
the Aristasura demon on the western side of Sri Syamakund, She broke
one of Her bangles and started digging there. With the help of thousands
of her girl-friends (sakhies) and assistants (manjaries) a large depression
in the earth was created. When it was finished, there was no water, so Sri
Krishna told Srimati Radharani to take water from His kund to fill it,
but She refused, considering that water polluted by the sin of Krishnas
bull-killing. She then made arrangements to bring water from Manasi-
Ganga, nearly 5 kilometers away. (previously Nanda Maharaja and all
the cowherdmen, had once desired to go on pilgrimage to take a bath in
the Ganges some 100 kilometer away from Vrindavan. Knowing this, Sri
Krishna called for the Ganges personified to appear at Govardhan, which
became and what is now known as Manasi-Ganga. In a similar manner,
wherever His father wanted to go to some place of pilgrimage, Krishna

47
would request that tirtha to come to Vrajamandal. Thus, all the places of
pilgrimage can be found within the 168 miles parikrama of
Vrajamandal). Seeing this quarrel between Radha and Krishna, the
personified sacred waters appeared again and requested Krishna to be
allowed to fill the Radhakund. Shri Krishna told them to do that, but
they should take permission first from Srimati Radharani Herself. All the
personified rivers then began offering nice prayers to Srimati Radharani,
Who being kindness personified, hinted through eye-movements to
Srimati Lalita, the chief of the sakhies, to have this done. So at 11.45
P.M. on the eighth day of the waning moon in karttik (Damodar,
October-November) the rivers personified broke the walls of Syamakund
and entered to fill Radhakund. Sri Krishna then took bath in
Radhakund and announced that to whomever takes bath in Radhakund
on this day of the year or any day in future, the seed of intense love
(Prema-Bhakti) which Srimati Radharani has for Him would be given.
Similarly, Srimati Radharani took bath in Syamakund and announced
that to anyone who takes bath in Syamakund, She would also give the
seed of love that Sri Krishna has for Her. Presently, thousands of pilgrims
desiring love for Sri Sri Radha-Krishna come to this holy spot on the
occasion of Ardha-Ratri-Snan (Midnight bath) to take bath in a
reverential mood, bathing first in Sri Radhakund, then in Sri
Syamakund, and then again in Sri Radhakund. This is the only place of
pilgrimage where an auspicious bath is taken at midnight.

(http://www.radhakunda.com/the_glories_of_radhakund/index.html)

From the bus-parking-place outside the little town, we slowly


went in the direction of the towns heart, the two beautiful lakes
Sri Radhakunda and Sri Syamakunda. On first sight of Sri
Radhakunda tears welled up in my eyes since I received here
everything from my beloved Srila Gurudeva in 2004 and my Sri
Giriraja-stone in 2007. Everyone was overwhelmed and bowed
down happily. To be here with my beloved siksha-guru Sripad

48
BV Sadhu Maharaja was more than wonderful. His presence lets
you experience the mercy of Sri Radhakunda times a million.

After a short little parikrama, we arrived at my Sri Gurudevas


ashram. We all entered with Maharaja and we were warmly
welcomed by the senior disciples of my Sri Gurudeva.

We were given carpets to sit on and were told, that a group-


audience could indeed be arranged in a few minutes. My
Gurudeva was about to come out for a walk and he would be
happy to bless us.

We all sat down. Maharaja told me and Govinda priya dd to sit


next to him and the others were seated a bit more to the left of
Maharaja.

In great anticipation I sat there, silently crying tears of


thankfulness. Looking toward my wife, she also cried like a child.

Then it was about time. The door opened and my Gurudeva


came down and into the yard, cane in hands slowly walking
towards us. Everybody bowed down (including Maharaja) and
then Maharaja introduced me to my Gurudeva in Hindi and My
Gurudeva warmly recognized me and we had nice short
conversation. Then he and Srila Sadhu Maharaja talked for a
little while and it was fascinating and utterly wonderful to behold
the view of such elevated souls standing next to each other.
Manjari to Manjari, so to say

After that group-audience my Gurudeva went for a walk and we


proceeded on our parikrama path around the lakes.

Soon we arrived at the samadhi of Srila Raghunatha das


Goswami.

49
We entered, went to the marbled dome, bowed down and exited
the door down to the left for entering the banks of Sri
Radhakunda.

This is located at the Sri Sri Radha Gopinath and Ma Jahnava


(wife of Lord Nityananda) mandir.

Srila Raghunatha Das Goswami renounced house-hold life at the age of


19 and spent the next 16 years in Puri, performing confidential services to
Lord Chaitanya mahaprabhu under the guidance of Sri Svarupa
Damodar Goswami until the disappearance of Sri Chaitanya
Mahaprabhu. Shortly afterwards Svarupa Damodar also disappeared,
and following Shri Chaitanya Mahaprabhus previous instructions he
came to Vraja. Due to feelings of love in separation he desired to end his
life by jumping from Govardhan hill, but was dissuaded by Srila Rupa
and Sanatana Goswamis. Lord Chaitanya had previously given to
Raghunatha Das His small Giriraj Shila and a white Gunjamala. Srila
Rupa and Sanatana interpreted these to mean that Raghunatha Das
should go to Radhakund and do bhajan there. There he remained
absorbed in love-in-separation for the next 41 years, until he entered
nitya-lila (eternal pastimes) in 1582. According to local custom his body
was cremated , which was done under the direction of Srila Jiva
Goswami and due to his intense attachment to Srimati Radharani his
remains were interned in this samadhi on the northern bank of Sri
Radhakund under the Madhavi-grove, which is still there. Dandavats
(flat obeisances) are offered, keeping the samadhi on the left after
circumambulating at least 4 times, keeping the samadhi on the right.

(http://www.radhakunda.com/the_glories_of_radhakund/index.html)

Everyone placed three drops of the Holy Lakewater on their head


and we walked over to the sitting place of the wife of Sri
Nityananda, Srimati Jahnava.

50
In 1582 Ma Jahnava, after the disappearance of Lord
Nityananda, desired to perform circumambulation of the 12
forests of Vrindavana. She came to Radhakund with Shrila Jiva
Goswami where she experienced Gopinathji playing on His flute
beneath the Bokul and Tamal-trees, and due to great ecstasy she
sat down there. Ma Jahnava met Shrila Jiva Goswami in
Vrindavan who informed Her of the precarious condition of
Shrila Raghunatha Das Goswami, who felt intense love-in-
separation from the elder goswamis Sri Rupa, Sri Sanatana and
Sri Gopal Bhatta, who had already left the planet. Shrila Jiva
Goswami brought Shrila Raghunatha Das Goswami from his
bhajan-kutir.

It is Ma Jahnava who is the head of both our diksha-lines, the


lines of Srila Sadhu Maharaja and my Sri Gurudeva. Srila Sadhu
Maharaja assembled all of us around the Samadhi of Ma Jahnava
and he strongly spoke about the concepts of diksha-guru and
siksha-guru.

He also explained who is qualified to be such a guru. It was an


outerwordly experience and many of us were blown away by the
spur of the moment and by the eloquence of Maharajas
explanations.

He clearly made the point that actually a true sad-guru only feels
like an instrument. He never thinks of doing anything himself.
Everything he does is out of the mercy of his own Sri Gurudeva.

When we left the samadhi of Srila Raghunatha das Goswami,


Govinda priya dd came to me and said: Look over there, your
Gurudeva is coming. And true it was: he came walking along
with his cane, right in our direction and Maharaja allowed me to
fall back to be some more time with him.

51
I fell on the ground and paid my obeisances and getting up, my
Gurudeva said to me in a very loving, childlike-funny-way:
Come with me! I felt like a little manjari, being called by her
guru-manjari wonderful!

So I went after him on the inner path around the samadhi of Srila
Raghunatha das Goswami. It was pure ecstasy. I then said
goodbye and I told him that we will come back next week. He
smiled and waved his blessings.

Back at the bus, Maharaja and the others were waiting already
for some few minutes.

Then someone called Maharaja on the phone. A lady who works


for his Mungir Mandir wanted to invite the whole group for
prasadam in her house. Right now. So Maharaja told us, that
how could he say no to an offer made out of love? He had to
go. What a great soul he is. So we all waited for her to show up
and when she did, we walked together to her home, somewhere
at Sri Radhakund. It was already nighttime and boy was it
mystical or what?

After something like 20 minutes, we arrived at her house where


she offered all of us a nice little meal with crackers, pakoras and a
milk dessert. How loving she cared for Srila Maharaja.

Then it was time to get back to the bus and finally back to Sri
Vrindavana, to our home, Sri Mungir Mandir. We safely arrived
at about 2040h, fully in bliss, but also tired and ready for bed.

What a most wonderful day.

All glories to my Srila Gurudeva, to Srila Sadhu Maharaja and to


the Holy Places we visited. Sadhu-sanga rocks!

Friday, December 30th

52
Today would be the day Govinda priya and I decided to marry in
front of Sri Sri Radha Mohan and in the presence of Srila Sadhu
Maharaja. He agreed to this day and I invited everyone to join
the festivities. Maharaja planned a huge prasadam feast and he
asked me to cook pasta in the evening. Days before, Kanhai das
and I went to the ISKCON shop to buy the Italian penne
noodles, Mozarella cheese, Olive oil and the tomato sauce.

I also invited Prema Prayojana das and his wife Svarnalata dd


and told them to bring with them whoever wants to come.

The dressing of the bride started at about 1300h and would not be
completed before 1615h.

I too had to dress nicely and I was forced by a certain female to


wear an Indian turban. So to please Maharaja I agreed to wear
such a thing. To my surprise, I looked great!

For the huge lunch prasadam-feast, Prema came with his


followers and it was a very nice occasion. Everyone was fed
sumptuous prasadam and everyone was excited about our
wedding.

After lunch, Prema Prayojana das and Srila Maharaja sat


together with the devotees in Maharajas room and he told
Prema to lead bhajan and explain something.

Then, like mentioned, the dressing of the bride

The Brahmin-priest arrived at 1430h to prepare the fire-yajna-


place and all that is needed.

At about 1600h I arrived in the temple fully dressed and the


temple was decorated so wonderfully and the altar including Sri
Sri Radha Mohan looked extremely beautiful!

53
When Govinda priya dd arrived, I couldnt believe my
eyesWhat a transformation!

Shyamali dd offered to decorate Govinda priyas face with sweet


make-up and really, Govinda looked like a manjari, straight out
of spiritual VrajaI was pleasantly shocked, but shocked
nonetheless. She looked so beautiful, but also different.

Soon the priest started the ceremony and we were into the
marriage-zone. So many loving faces around us and Maharaja
watching from the temple-courtyard like a loving father.

At the end, the husband must give 7 promises to the bride and the
bride has to give 4 promises to the husband. The priest was not
able to convey the meaning of the promises in English, so he
called Maharaja for help and mercifully, Srila Sadhu Maharaja
sat next to us and explained all 11 promises to us, sometimes
laughing out very loudly. This was truly a wonderful experience
to have him sit next to you while giving the promises. Boy oh
boy, did we laugh hard. Mainly Maharaja, actually.

Then our garments had been knotted and the ceremony was over,
ending in a rousing kirtan in front of Sri Sri Radha Mohan.

During the kirtan I had to sneak out to cook the Italian pasta
together with Raseshvara das and Kanhai das. And I think we
did a wonderful job, according to the amount of pasta-prasadam
the people were devouring!

After evening arati, there was a little evening feast, with


aforementioned REAL pasta. Everyone freaked out about the
pasta. Even Maharaja said he happily overate!

54
What a spectacular day! What a great blessing from Sri Sri Radha
Mohan and Srila Sadhu Maharaja. Unbelievably happy we went
to bed that night, for quite some time not able to find some sleep.

Unfortunately Premavati, our dear sister, had to leave during


nighttime for her next stop Sri Lanka. With tears and a heavy
heart we saw her leave and we know at the same time that she
had a truly wonderful first time in Vrindavana. She already told
Gurudeva and us that she will for sure come back again.

Saturday, December 31st

Today was the day of the other two couples. Every one of the
family-members was very excited!

Again, the brides took their time in being made beautiful, but
again, it was well worth it.

At about 1700h, the ceremony started and again it was a


wonderful event to behold. The couples were very happy and
Srila Sadhu Maharaja again led through the promises and so the
marriages were sealed with his last words. Very auspicious!

The brides looked so wonderful and the husbands were in


complete bliss.

The lunch and dinner prasadam was again absolutely wonderful


and Srila Maharaja and the devotees ate with a full heart!

In the evening we were sitting in Maharajas room, talking about


very important issues of our siddhanta (philosophy).

At the end, after wishing a happy new year, Govinda priya dd


and I were alone with our beloved Srila Maharaja and these are
the hours you treasure so much! It was a very peaceful ending of
a long day (actually a two-day marriage marathon) and it was

55
just very very blissful to sit with Maharaja and chant, relax and
occasionally talk.

But this night, we talked about very intimate and personal things
and we both left utterly stunned and completely overwhelmed
with the mercy and the love Maharaja had just showered upon
us.

But unfortunately this night would end kind of dramatically for


Govinda priya dd. Late at night, short before morning time, she
woke me up after having been severely tortured by stomach
cramps and horrible pain in the digestive tract. I could only help
by giving her heavy painkillers and holding her hand through the
last half hour.

But like all great souls, she saw everything in the right light: pain
in Vrindavan means ultra-purification and she was glad that she
endured the night.

In the morning Maharaja confirmed her theory and told her:


Very good. Very old stuff is now out of you. You look very
clean!

She slept half of the next day and like a miracle, she got up in the
afternoon, back in very good shape, ready to dive into the ocean
of seva again.

Sunday, January 1st New Years day

Today morning, after breakfast, we had a wonderful puspanjali


(flower-throwing)-ceremony to Sri Sri Radha Mohan. Whoever
felt like taking part joined the offering of prayers and flowers, first
to Sri Gurudeva, then to Sri Sri Gaur-Nitai and finally to Sri Sri
Radha Mohan. The ceremony ended by everyone making a
promise to Their Lordships for the next year coming up.

56
It was thought out by Syamali dd and performed by Sriman
Narottama das, the head-pujari.

Otherwise, the New Years day went very peacefully. For lunch,
some very nice Colombian devotees prepared a huge amount of
pizza and everybody loved it.

Monday, January 2nd and Tuesday, January 3rd

Not much was on the agenda for these days, except, of course,
SADHU-SANGA par excellence!

Every morning and evening we had bhajans and beautiful


harikatha.

Srila Sadhu Maharaja encouraged everyone to come forward on


both these days with questions.

Especially Hansaduta priya dd was very well prepared, using


every moment to clarify issues and philosophical points.

The true meaning of sannyas

Bhagavad-gita 18.2:

The giving up of activities that are based on material desire is


what great learned men call the renounced order of life
[sannyasa]. And giving up the results of all activities is what the
wise call renunciation [tyaga].

Maharaja very nicely explained that true sannyas (renounciation)


can only happen when there is enough positive attachment to
Krishna. Without love for Radha and Krishna, the devotee only
renounces artificially and it will not last.

The different types of Sri Gurudeva

57
- diksha-guru

- siksha-guru

- caitya-guru

How to proceed in bhakti

Srila Sadhu Maharaja explained the famous verse from Srila


Rupa Goswami:

adau sraddha tatah sadhu-


sango tha bhajana-kriya
tato nartha-nivrttih syat
tato nintha rucis tatah
athasaktis tato bhavas
tatah premabhyudancati
sadhakanam ayam premnah
pradurbhave bhavet kramah

In the beginning one must have a preliminary desire for self-


realization. This will bring one to the stage of trying to associate
with persons who are spiritually elevated. In the next stage one
becomes initiated by an elevated spiritual master, and under his
instruction the neophyte devotee begins the process of devotional
service. By execution of devotional service under the guidance of
the spiritual master, one becomes free from all material
attachment, attains steadiness in self-realization, and acquires a
taste for hearing about the Absolute Personality of Godhead, Sri
Krishna. This taste leads one further forward to attachment for
Krishna consciousness, which is matured in bhava, or the
preliminary stage of transcendental love of God. Real love for
God is called prema, the highest perfectional stage of life.

There are 9 stages:

58
1. Sraddha faith

2. Sadhu-sanga association with devotees

3. Bhajana-kriya trying to seriously take up the process of


devotional service

4. Anartha-nivrtti becoming free of all unwanted things

5. Nistha steadiness in Krsna consciousness

6. Ruci a deep taste for Krsna consciousness

7. Asakti attachment for Krsna

8. Bhava ecstasy, the first rays of the sun of love for Krsna

9. Prema pure love for Krsna

In a most beautiful way, Maharaja explains those essential stages


and everybody loved every word. It is not very easy to
understand these concepts, but he truly mastered the art of
making everybody understand them. We were so fortunate!

Wednesday, January 4th

Today we planned to plunder the MVT restaurant: Kanhai das,


Raseshvara das, Diana, Govinda priya dd and I were very eager
to accept the delicious prasadam in the famous ISKCON
restaurant. Maharaja gave us his blessing under one condition:
We have to bring him two slices of fine pizza. No problem with
that!

So at about 1330h we took a motor-rikshaw and drove to the fine


restaurant where we accepted very good prasadam, including
cakes for dessert. Yummy!

59
Of course we took with us two very nice slices of fresh pizza for
our beloved Maharaja.

On the way home they dropped me off at Ananda Dhama where


I wanted to say good-bye to Prema Prayojana das and Svarnalata
dd.

I met them on the balcony of their apartment complex and there I


had a very long and intense talk with Prema.

Sometimes I watch myself getting very angry or even aggressive


with people who seem to be mentally disturbed. I really try to
love everybody, but sometimes I wholeheartedly fail, even if I do
not intend to act that way.

To me, Srila Sadhu Maharaja is the perfect example: He loves


every soul who comes near to him, sane or insane, friendly or
challenging. I for my part can easily love those whom I find
nice and cool, but those who do not match my criteria I treat
sometimes very bad.

Prema Prayojana das told me that in these critical moments I


should be very strict with myself, even criticizing myself for being
not nice to the challenging persons. He told me that the fault
lies in me. The world is like a mirror. I have to always see my
Ishta-deva, Sri Sri Radha Mohan, in all souls and treat them very
nicely. He said that especially in these circumstances I will grow
the most spiritually if I succeed. Just try and do it. It will work.
And he was right. We have to see Krishna in all who approach
us. Love them, no conditions! High task, but worth doing it
properly.

After something like 90 minutes, we bade farewell and Svarna


walked me to the rikshaw-vallas. What wonderful friends! Thank
you for being so kind with me.

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In the evening Srila Sadhu Maharaja blessed us to go to Sri
Radhakunda tomorrow to have another darshan with my
beloved Srila Gurudeva, Sri Ananta das Babaji Maharaja.

Kanhai das, Raseshvara das , Gopalshakti dd, Govinda priya dd


and I were very happy having received the blessings of a sadhu to
visit another sadhu.

Maharaja loves my Gurudeva and it shows how openhearted


Maharaja is in these times of narrow-mindedness. How
awesome!

This evening, again the three of us (Maharaja, my wife and I)


spoke about many different things and we enjoyed the solitude
after these hectic days.

Thursday, January 5th

This morning I was alone with Srila Sadhu Maharaja and he told
me many helpful things for further enhancement of my spiritual
life.

The taxi arrived short before 0800h. Darshan-time was 0900h


1000h, so we prayed to arrive at Sri Radhakunda in time.

After a nice drive to the most Holy Lake, we were on our way to
my Gurudevas ashram.

Paying full stretched obeisances to Sri Radhakunda on our left


side, we proceeded until we reached my Gurudevas place.

There I met with my wonderful godbrother Yugal Kishor das and


he wonderfully arranged a group-darshan for us all. I was so
happy! My Gurudeva let us in after some time and it just was
mind-blowing to be in one room with him. All devotees were
thunderstruck and mesmerized by his radiating spirituality and

61
we clearly felt Srila Sadhu Maharajas blessings on our back to
be in the presence of my Gurudeva so intimately.

He recognized me immediately and he smiled at me gently


asking: Tarun Govinda, how are you? My heart melted and I
was not this body anymore.

Yugal told me before that if you look upon Babaji Maharaja as an


old man, he will reciprocate the same way. As his aspiring
disciple, you should look upon him as a beautiful manjari. This I
tried to do. I was here 2004 and 2007, but I never felt such a deep
connection with my Gurudeva.

I asked him some question about the worship of Sri Giriraja as a


stone and he clearly told me that we worship the Giriraj-stone as
Krishna Himself, praying to Him for manjari-bhava. I was
overwhelmed. But not only by his answer. This was on the
superficial level. I am a very needy person. I NEED to know if
someone loves me because I think I am not worth to be loved. I
always thought: Yes, Srila Gurudeva is very very nice and sweet
and a perfected soul, but does he really know me and thus loves
me?

A very stupid and kind of offensive question, I know. But that is


me, sorry.

This time, by looking him straight into his loving eyes, he told me
with a voice from his heart into my heart: Yes, I love you. My
heart nearly exploded. I cannot really really explain what I felt,
but it was pure ecstasy. His eyes spoke to my heart! I couldnt
look away. After this, I floated above the earth and it was a
confirmation of such a sweet nature. Of course it wasnt
necessary, but still my humble self needed it and my Gurudeva
blessed me with this darshan.

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Everybody in the room was shot full of spiritual energy and we
all bowed down in respect. Everybody felt deeply the love he
radiates and everybody bathed in it.

After the darshan, we all bought some books of Babaji Maharaja


and then we left with a deep spiritual richness.

Deep in my selfish heart I clearly realized the mercy of Srila


Sadhu Maharaja. He formed me in all the days before to be
able to have such a deep encounter with my Gurudeva. Without
Srila Sadhu Maharajas blessing, such a darshan would not have
been possible. How can I ever thank him?

In the evening I told everything to Maharaja and he was very


happy for me and for us.

Later that evening I was alone with him and I told him that I
never met with my Gurudeva in such a way. Maharaja smiled
sweetly and said sheepishly: That is because you are with me.
We laughed very hard and then we decided to go to sleep.

Friday, January 6th

Day of departure. After such intense days, it was not very easy to
go away from our beloved Srila Sadhu Maharaja and his nectar-
devotees. But it had to be done and we did it with some tears and
a heavy, but immensely happy heart.

We promised to come back next Christmas and we already


booked room 101.

It was the very best days in our little spiritual life and words
escape me AGAIN to describe my deep love and thankfulness for
my most beloved siksha-guru, HG Srila BV Sadhu Maharaja. We
were very fortunate to have been living with a sadhu of such a

63
high caliber this time not in frivolous America, but in Radhas
realm, Sri Vrindavana.

We are eternally indebted to him.

To the devotees there and last, but NEVER least to Sri Sri Radha
Mohan, Who let us live in Their most wonderful temple.

Watching Them on the altar was like gazing into the spiritual
world. You could not NOT be drawn into Their loving embrace!

Jay Sri Sri Radha Mohan!

Jay Srila Sadhu Maharaja!

Jay Vrindavana-dhama!

And to end this journal I want to try to show the glories of a true
sadhu, Srila BV Sadhu Maharaja:

(1)

sri-guru-carana-padma, kevala-bhakati-sadma,
bando mui savadhana mate
jahara prasade bhai, e bhava toriya jai,
krsna-prapti hoy jaha hate

The lotus feet of the spiritual master are the abode of pure devotional
service. I bow down to those lotus feet with great care and attention. My
dear brother (my dear mind)! It is through the grace of the spiritual
master that we cross over this material existence and obtain Krsna.

Sitting at the lotus feet of Srila Sadhu Maharaja, you have to feel
relief from the material burning existence.To be in his presence,
all is well. The soul feels home and the winds blow favourably.

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Srila Sadhu Maharaja truly is the abode of pure bhakti, bhakti for
his beloved Ishta-deva, Sri Sri Radha Mohan. He sees Them in
every soul and he is a master in bringing everybody close to
Them. For me, there is no doubt. I lived with him now two times
2 weeks 24/7 and everyone of us who did this and some did more
can testify! Maharaja lives and breathes pure Radha-Mohan-
bhakti.

(2)

guru-mukha-padma-vakya, cittete koriya aikya,


ar na koriho mane asa
sri-guru-carane-rati, ei se uttama-gati,
je prasade pure sarva asa

Make the teachings from the lotus mouth of the spiritual master one with
your heart, and do not desire anything else. Attachment to the lotus feet of
the spiritual master is the best means of spiritual advancement. By his
mercy all desires for spiritual perfection are fulfilled.

Yep. Whatever leaves his lotus mouth has deep meaning. No


syllable goes in vain. This I realized many times. But you need to
listen CAREFULLY and very CONSCIOUSLY. Whatever he
teaches you, embrace it in your heart and it will NEVER leave
you. Look at me, I know what I am talking about. I am a true
mercy-case. As my siksha-guru, he taught me so many thingsI
can never repay him. I desired to have a wonderful darshan of
my Gurudeva and Maharajas blessing granted fulfillment.

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(3)

cakhu-dan dilo jei, janme janme prabhu sei


divya-jnan hrde prokasito
prema-bhakti jaha hoite, avidya vinasa jate,
vede gay jahara carito

He who has given me the gift of transcendental vision is my lord, birth


after birth. By his mercy divine knowledge is revealed within the heart,
bestowing prema-bhakti and destroying ignorance. The Vedic scriptures
sing of his character.

Srila Sadhu Maharaja often speaks about transcendental vision.


By his everyday-dealings with the most variety of people, I can
only testify that he has this vision. He sees his Ishta-deva in all
souls. He treats EVERYONE with utmost respect and everybody
feels loved by him. Many times during these long days I
witnessed this extraordinary thing.

Divine knowledge is revealed to him through his Sri Gurudeva,


SrilaGovinda das Babaji Maharaja. So Srila Sadhu Maharajas
true glory lies in his humility. He only sees himself as an
instrument of his Gurudeva. This makes him a real guru! This
real humility makes him so wonderful. His real love for all jivas
enables him to bestow Radha-Mohan-prema. In his presence,
ignorance is miles and miles away.

(4)

sri-guru karuna-sindhu, adhama janara bandhu


lokanath lokera jivana
(srila prabhupada lokera jivana!)
ha ha prabhu kora doya, deho more pada chaya
ebe jasa ghusuk tribhuvana

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O spiritual master, ocean of mercy, and friend of the fallen souls, you are
the teacher of everyone and the life of all people. O master! Be merciful
unto me, and give me the shade of your lotus feet. May your glories now
be proclaimed throughout the three worlds.

Srila Sadhu Maharaja is truly an ocean of mercy. And this on


many levels. Our friends Diana and Premavati were very fearful
and anxious to be the first time in Vrindavana. You should have
seen how Maharaja made them feel home and LOVED! To both
he said: I love you. You are my daughter. Both left happy as
they can be and during their stay felt like in the home of a really
caring and loving father.

What to speak of Govinda priya dd and my lowly self

I also could see how he tirelessly cares for all devotees living
there in the Mungir Mandir. And I mean ALL. Not a single
devotee he lets out of sight. When Gopal Shakti dd was sick,
Maharaja felt it and ordered us to check on her. Unbelievable.

Friend of the fallen souls. He considers me as his friend and I am


fallen enough, that says it all. He truly is a friend of the fallen.

He teaches by his shining example minute by minute, second by


second, always putting him last. He is not a friend of wise and
highly educated words, he teaches by love-in-action, bhakti.
Watch and learn, brothers and sisters!

Dear Srila Sadhu Maharaja, please always give me the shade of


your lotus feet.

I love you with all my heart and soul and I can never repay you
my debts. Your love and patience helped me to become a better

67
person and your spiritual guidance of love-in-action helped me to
see and realize what it takes to become a devotee.

In deep affection

Tarun Govinda das

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Part 4 - Moments of truth during days of love

May, 28th (Monday)

Yesterday, Sunday 27th, our dearest friends Karuna Mohan das


and Karuna Mayi dd arrived together with our dear sister
Premavati dd. It was a wonderful afternoon and evening to get
into the mood of welcoming our beloved Srila Gurudeva, Sripad
108 BV Sadhu Maharaja.

It was planned that my wife, Govinda priya dd, Premavati dd


and me would drive to the airport in Frankfurt to welcome Srila
Gurudeva and bring him to our home. It was also planned since a
long time that our dear friends Silke, Franzi and Fritz would
prepare a spectacular breakfast/brunch together with the
Karunas.

Very early in the morning, like about 5:00 am, we started our car
for the airport. Srila Gurudevas flight was scheduled to land at
7:20am. And after some time of exciting anticipation, the door
opened and a radiating Srila Gurudeva came out of the arrival
door with a big smile and raised hands, ready for some nice
welcome-hugs!

So after 5 months, it was a wonderful seeing-again and we took


Srila Gurudeva to our car. He was in a very sweet mood and
talked about how awesome his US-tour had been.

While talking about different things, we drove him to our home


where aforementioned people waited with love and an
extraordinairy breakfast-brunch.

As soon as Srila Gurudeva entered our home, a festival of


welcome-hugs started and everyone including him was in total
bliss. Srila Gurudeva was very happy to meet all of us and he was

69
completely in ecstasy about the wonderful breakfast-brunch
which was about to be opened and served. So after some minutes
of final preparations, we joyfully ate breakfast in the company of
our beloved Srila Gurudeva.

After the rich and huge breakfast, Srila Gurudeva needed some
rest to cover up the jetlag.

So we cleaned up everything and sat together in a very nice


spiritual atmosphere to exchange feelings.

Many people said that they would come to visit us today. At


about 12:00h, Arjuna das and his wife Yashoda dd came with
their daughter Violetta. They drove 2,5 hours to see Srila
Gurudeva.

Also our beloved sister Jahnava dd came with a good friend of


her, Nathalie.

After Srila Gurudeva had nicely rested, our friends Silke and
Franzi decided to ask him for harinam-initiation. Silkes husband
Fritz joined them as a silent observer.

Srila Gurudeva spoke to them for a good time and then called me
telepathically (NO JOKE!) and I joined them in Gurudevas
room. He then initiated them and gave them new names: Krishna
priya dd (Franzi) and Gaura priya dd (Silke). Fritz was not really
sure about the whole thing, but Gurudeva decided to initiate him
anyway, right on the spot. So Fritz happily accepted the offer and
was awarded with the name Gauravani das.

Then Jahnava dd and her friend Nathalie went inside to speak


with Gurudeva, while the rest of us enjoyed a beautiful afternoon
outside in the garden, blessed by the rays of the sun.

70
My wife Govinda priya dd acted as a visiting-co-ordinator and
after Jahnava dd and her friend, Arjuna entered with his wife and
daughter, together with me as a translator.

And here the first miracle of many to come happened: Arjuna das
had many questions in his mind, some quite intense in nature.
Srila Gurudeva just spoke on the principles of bhakti in a very
essential way and unbelievingly so, all of Arjunas questions were
answered without him speaking them out loudSrila Gurudeva
masterfully read his mind and gave him answers which Arjuna
das loved to hear and promised to set in effect in his life. I was
totally stunned about the expertise of our beloved Gurudeva.

Later on, our dear friend Dagmar and her son Daniel Finn
Govinda were next in line and Srila Gurudeva very warmly
welcomed them and talked to them very nicely about who the
yare and what they do and gave them heartfelt blessings.

We all took prasadam in the afternoon and then we did some


wonderful bhajans and Srila Gurudeva spoke some words and
again some bhajans.

The day went on and on until late at night with Srila Gurudeva
answering questions and us engaging in bhajans, everything done
in our living room.

What a wonderful first day with many people and with our
beloved Srila Gurudeva as the center of our attraction and love.

With a filled heart, the guests left in a loving mood and we all
went to bed extremely satisfied and spiritually enriched. It
seemed that this day had more than 24 hours in it!

May, 29th (Tuesday)

71
After a satisfying night-rest for all of us, especially for Srila
Gurudeva, we had a nice healthy breakfast and then some more
guests were coming. Jahnava dd decided to stay the whole week,
Premavati dd could stay one more day, the Karunas were still
here in bliss and at 11:00h, we drove to the nearest train station to
welcome our dear sister Shyamali dd from Switzerland who was
eager to see her beloved Gurudeva too.

Also our brother Tirthanga das, who lives nearby, decided to visit
us for breakfast.

The plan was, that after breakfast, Tirthanga das would drive
Gurudeva to his home for a private time and that we would all
come 1 hour later for an evening of bhajans and Gurudevas hari-
katha.

So after breakfast we sang some nice bhajans here and Gurudeva


spoke for some time about different themes (Guru-tattva,
bhajana-kriya,) and soon he took off with Tirthanga das and
we stayed in our house for a little longer.

1 hour later, we all drove to Tirthanga dasplace, where many


devotees already gathered for a wonderful session of bhajans and
hari-katha.

Since many of us were great bhajan-singers, it was like a festival


of ecstatic bhajans. One after the other sang from his heart and
Srila Gurudeva loved it very much.

After we sang Sri Krishna Caitanya prabhu, daya koro more,


Srila Gurudeva gave a most wonderful explanation of this song.

He said: Why is there the word SRI before Krishna Caitanya?


The normal meaning would be as an address to Sriman
Mahaprabhu, but Gurudeva gave us the deepest meaning of SRI:

72
Here it means Srimati Radhika and then the line means Sri
Krishna Caitanya Radhika and Krishna are now Caitanya.
Gurudeva very nicely explained then line after line, tattva after
tattva. Everyone was mesmerized by his wonderful words with
deep meaning.

The evening ended with a fabulous prasadam cooked by


Tirthanga daswife Ananga Manjari dd and everyone was
completely in ecstasy about the stunning taste of this prasadam.

After this outerworldly experience, we sang some more bhajans


and all devotees felt the immense presence of the love Gurudeva
radiates and gives away through his words and gestures.

Happily we drove back with Gurudeva to our home and again


until late in the night, Srila Gurudeva spoke about very deep
aspects of our philosophy and with elefant-ears we listened to
every word he said.

Again, this day number 2 was absolutely full of love, wisdom and
deep inner bliss.

Again we felt, that the day had about 30 or more hours in it.

May, 30th (Wednesday)

After a nice breakfast and some interesting talks, we decided to


relax a little bit and then drive to Jahnavas place in the afternoon
for lunch.

The Karunas and Jahnava dd took off earlier to prepare


everything in Jahanavas home. Gurudeva received some guests
this morning: Upaguru das wanted to talk to Gurudeva and for
him it was the first time to speak to our beloved Gurudeva. He
was scheduled for 10:00 am and he arrived in time and went in

73
to a private talk. Soon also Gauranga das, the brother of Jahnava
dd arrived. He too wanted to speak with Gurudeva in private.
After some time, Upaguru das came out of the room and he was
deeply moved by his encounter with a real sadhu. He was the
first person who accepted me as I am with his whole heart. I have
never experienced anything like this. Gurudeva promised to him
that he would always be there for Upaguru das and needless to
say, Upaguru das was very very happy. Next in line was our
brother Gauranga das. He waited a long time to be finally able to
speak with Gurudeva in private.

They had a long and pleasant conversation and after this,


Gurudeva drove with Gauranga das to Jahnavas place in
Mannheim and we followed right behind, meaning Shyamali dd,
Govinda priya dd and me.

When we arrived there, prasadam was ready to be served and


Karuna Mohan das cooked a wonderful feast and everyone was
delighted and fully satisfied. He is such an expert cook and
Gurudeva loved his cooking.

After lunch, Gurudeva asked Gauranga das to read something


from a Christian book. Gauranga das went to the book shelf
which was fully of different philosophical books and came back
with Texte aus Nag Hammadi: Apokryphe Evangelien aus Nag
Hammadi. It can be bought here:

http://www.amazon.de/Texte-aus-Nag-Hammadi-
Evangelien/dp/3980784738/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1339437155&sr=8-1

Gauranga das decided to read from the Gospel of Maria


Magdalena. There he read about how actually the soul is our
root. All material things will dissolve but our root, the eternal
soul, will always be there. There it is written:

74
Will matter be redeemed or not? The Saviour answered: All things in
nature, every creature and every person exist with and in each other.
Everything will be dissolved to their own roots, but not the root. Because
all matter can only be dissolved to ist own root. Who has ears may hear!
Then Peter spoke: You let us realize everything. Please now tell us this:
What is the sin of the world? The Saviour said: In truth, there really
exists no sin at all. But you create sin by your actions. Sin is born by the
divorce of a marriage (between the soul and God). That is called sin. But
therefore all the good came into your midst, to every creature, only to be
reinstated in your own root.

Srila Gurudeva expertly explained to us that everything in this


material world will perish and go away, except for the root. He
told us that the root here in this metaphor is our eternal soul.
Suffering comes into existence when we forget our root, our soul.
He said that right now, the soul is living in some kind of sense-
consciousness, trying to become happy by using all senses. He
said that we are divorcing ourselves from our own creator. The
soul breaks her marriage with the creator of all things God.
Gurudeva said that the sould is like a bride and God is like our
groom. We create our suffering by forgetting our root, our soul
and by forgetting our relationship to our root-cause, God.

Then we also read from an essay called About the soul from
the letters to Reginus. There it is stated that the soul is female in
nature and God is the only male. By forgetting our real nature we
identify with our bodies and senses and actually divorce ourselves
from God. It is written that if the soul lokks for satisfaction in the
kingdom of the senses then she is like a prostitute, running from
man to man.

Gurudeva very nicely explained that this is actually Vaishnava-


philosophy. The soul is female (prakriti) and God (Krishna) is the
male (purusha). He loved that book and from here on he would

75
mention these passages throughout the whole tour. And we loved
to him him explain our own Christian heritage!

After some hours, the time for the first official evening program
was near. So we happily walked from Jahnavas place to the
Moksha-yoga centre (15 minutes walking distance). It was
wonderful to walk with Gurudeva through the sunny Mannheim
and many people watched him with open mouth At 18:30h we
started the program with wonderful bhajans and slowly the room
filled up until it really was packed with people. This year,
Gurudeva, after having experienced the boom of kirtan in the
US, put more emphasis on singing holy mantras. So we sang
beautiful mantras, ending in the Hare-Krishna-maha-mantra and
then Gurudeva elaborated more on the subject matter of the
afternoon. He talked about the meaning of yoga. He said that
yoga means to re-connect with our root, with our soul and to re-
establish our relationship with the cause of that root (God). It
was a very nice lecture and Gurudeva always knows how much
the audience can digest.

Everybody was very happy with his discourse and we concluded


the evening with some more singing and then Gurudeva
distributed some prasadam-cookies. It was wonderful to see the
happy faces of so many people. Also, our sister Premavati dd
joined our house-team again after some days of working hours in
her job.

After arriving in our house, Gurudeva was so inspired that he


again talked very intimately to us few diciples about deep
spiritual themes and when it was midnight, we celebrated the
birthday of our beloved sister, Karuna Mayi dd who was very
happy with our presents, with the cake and the special gift from
her beloved Gurudeva.

76
And again, with a heart filled to the brim, we all went to bed in
spiritual bliss, some of us not really able tro sleep.

May, 31th (Thursday)

How nice it was last night with our sisters birthday


celebrationbut today was another day, full of excitement and
wonder

Today the schedule was to drive to our sister Premabhakti


Yogashaktis place in Nrtingen (near Stuttgart). She was eagerly
waiting for our beloved Gurudeva, since she hasnt seen him for a
long time. So after waking up, everybody got ready to leave. Srila
Gurudeva drove with the Karunas (it was their last day),
Shyamali dd drove with me and Govinda priya dd, Premavati dd
and Jahnava dd had their own girlie-car.

After noon we arrived at Premabhaktis yoga-centre and we


immediately arranged a wonderful brunch out in the sunshine
with Gurudeva. He was very very happy to see Premabhakti and
we happily ate and talked very comfortably.

Today would arrive many guests. Suniti dd and Gaurasundara


das would come and join us for the rest of the tour through
Germany with their German wohnwagen (camping-wagon).

Also Tulasi dd and Lalita dd from around Passau (South


Germany) took a 5-6 hours trip to Nrtingen, having never met
Srila Gurudeva. Both lady-devotees had been very excited over
the last weeks and they hardly couldnt wait to meet with
Gurudeva. They even called him in Vrindavana.

After brunch, Gurudeva decided to take a well-deserved rest and


we sat there chillaxing in the sun, just having a most wonderful
time.

77
But soon it was time to say goodbye to our dearest family
members, Karuna Mohanji and Karuna Mayi dd. It was very
unreal and nobody wanted the time to march on. But what can
be done? With a heavy heart, but full of experienced bliss we
hugged each other warmly and with deep love we separated from
them and we wished them a safe journey to their home in South
Italy. What wonderful devotees, what a wonderful association we
had been lucky to have with them. The are like jewels with hearts
of gold.

After some cleanup time, I sneaked in Gurudevas room and slept


on the floor near to his bed for some time.

When I kind of woke up from my light slumber, I heard that


more people had arrived. Hamsaduta priya dd brought many
devotees with her from her yoga-centre in Wahlwies (Lake
Constance) and all were excited to meet with Gurudeva.

Slowly, Gurudeva awoke and when he realized that I was


sleeping next to him on the floor he smiled and we talked for a
little while. I love these intimate moments and so does he.

After taking bath, Gurudeva was there for everyone and really, I
mean for everyone. All devotees sat together around a big table
and slowly slowly more and more guests came in. Gurudeva was
already the centre of all attraction.

Then I saw Tulasi dd and her sister Lalita dd who had just
arrived, completely excited and with tears running from their
eyes. I was so happy for them! Finally they had the chance to
meet Gurudeva! And up they went and straight into a big
welcome-hug of Srila Gurudeva. He was very happy to see them
and they were in full ecstasy, not knowing if it is real or just a
dream.

78
Srila Gurudeva is the most kind soul here on earth. This is now
the 3rd time I am with him for more than 1o days and I am
constantly stunned about how much love he is pouring out from
his huge heart, drenched in love for Sri Sri Radha Mohan.
Everybody, devotee or total stranger is drawn into his love like a
little car into the eye of a hurricane. You just have to accept the
mighty flow!

Also our dear sister Kalindi dd arrived and what a pleasure it was
for Gurudeva to meet with her!

Soon, everyone went into the big Buddha-room and there we


started a nice bhajan. Srila Gurudeva came too, although the
official program was scheduled for 18:00h. It was 16:00h and the
bhajan went into full ecstasy-mode with everyone chanting from
their hearts. Inbetween the bhajan-songs, Srila Gurudeva spoke
about the importance of singing these wonderful songs. Every
song has deep aspects of the truth in itself and we should always
sing these songs to connect ourselves with the Divine Couple. He
again spoke strongly about us forgetting our root, wandering
bewildered through the external world. Weh ave to know about
our root, live there and fix our relationship with the creator of our
root. This is self-realization, he said. To know these things.
Sambandha-jnana, knowledge of our relationship with Krishna.

Abhidheya-jnana, knowledge of the way to realize the soul.


Prayojana-jnana, knowledge of the highest goal, pure love
(prema). Everyone was again listening very carefully to every
word Gurudeva said, since everybody felt that these were words
of realized wisdom, more valuable than gold.

After 2 hours of blissfull sadhu-sanga, we realized that actually


NOW the official program should start.

79
I was already in the kitchen cooking the evening prasadam, but I
heard that Gurudeva and the devotees decided to have break for
1 hour and then start at 19:00h.

Srila Gurudeva had the pleasure to receive a fantastic Hawaiian


massage from of the best masseurs of Hawaii. He was a very nice
gentleman and the teacher of Premabhakti dd and he felt very
honoured to massage our beloved Gurudeva. I heard that
Gurudeva loved the fine treatment.

So, 19:00h came and the room was nicely decorated and more
and more people came in. I think there had been about 40-50
people altogether.

We started with wonderful bhajans. Since there were fantastic


singers and musicians who wanted to please Gurudeva and Sri
Sri Radha Mohan, it is needless to say that the bhajans were not
from this world and the atmosphere was filled with divine love,
multiplied by the wonderful and loving presence of Srila
Gurudeva who was in a very happy mood. He told me during the
bhajans that I should organize a Bhagavad-gita and that I should
open it on chapter 12, verses 13-14.

So I did what I had been told and he had me read the translation:

Text 13-14

advesta sarva-bhutanam
maitrah karuna eva ca
nirmamo nirahankarah
sama-duhkha-sukhah ksami

santustah satatam yogi


yatatma drdha-niscayah
mayy arpita-mano-buddhir
yo mad-bhaktah sa me priyah

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Translation

One who is not envious but is a kind friend to all living entities, who does
not think himself a proprietor and is free from false ego, who is equal in
both happiness and distress, who is tolerant, always satisfied, self-
controlled, and engaged in devotional service with determination, his
mind and intelligence fixed on Mesuch a devotee of Mine is very dear
to Me.

And how wonderful he spoke about this verse and how


ecstatically he explained it in a very rasika way (the way of a
connaisseur). He told us what it means to be free from envy, to
not think of anything as a possession.

It was spellbinding how everyone in the room was fixed to his


mouth with all ears.

Gurudeva expertly discussed all the important points in this verse


and we could all feel that he spoke from a realized platform.
Many people told me afterwards that he touched their hearts very
much.

And my oh my, pretty soon we realized that it was about 22.30h


and we ended the wonderful evening with a beautiful bhajan and
everyone left or stayed, overwhelmed with happiness, wisdom
and deep gratitude for the experience of being in the presence of
such a mahatma (great soul).

Srila Gurudeva then went to his room and a few of his disciples
(including me) went with him and literally brought him to bed,
like actually every evening. These minutes (sometimes more than
minutesLOL) are the most wonderful moments in our spiritual
life: when you are close to Gurudeva, when he agrees to let you

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come close, to let you approach him how happy these moments
make him and of course, us.

Someone is giving him massages and someone is asking intimate


spiritual questions or sometimes he shares from his miraculous
realizations.

And then, after some extended silence, we know that Gurudeva


is asleep. Sometimes he also says: Schlafens gut (sleep well)!
And so we know that it is time to leave the room.

No money in the world can buy these moments!

We are very very lucky, no doubt.

June, 1st (Friday)

This day was the BIG ekadasi day where one fasts even from
water.

In the morning, there were two initiations scheduled. Gurudeva


agreed to give harinama-initiation to the sisters Tulasi dd and
Lalita dd.

You can not believe how happy both of them were! They struggle
with material life and they opened up their heart and soul during
the initiation. Gurudeva asked them many question and seriously
wanted to know if they are ready for this step. Since both wanted
me there and Gurudeva also ordered me to be there, I could
feel the seriousness in the air. Both sisters said they have now
suffered enough and they want to give up the straining material
life. They told Gurudeva that they never felt like having a real
father and with tears in their eyes they begged for his mercy
because they had nobody else to turn to. I too had tears in my
eyes, but mostly from the mercy Srila Gurudeva showered them

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with. I have hardly seen him so kind, gentle and merciful but
serious nonetheless, like a true sadguru. He said that from now
on, he would be their father, that he would take care of them. But
he daid that they must be ready to accept his mercy by changing
their lives for the good. It really was a heart-touching initiation
and soon they received their new Tulasi priya dd and Lalita
priya dd. They shed tears of joy and thankfulness and I witnessed
one more miracle from the greatest magician, Srila Gurudeva!

After the intiation, I had to cook the evening dinner-prasadam for


our next program which would lead from here to Heidelberg. I
brought all my pots and utensils and with the help of many
kindhearted souls, I was ready to offer the bhoga to my Mohanji
at about 14:00h. Inbetween the cooking some devotees took some
fruits and salad together with Gurudeva.

Premavati dd and Zak (a good friend of us) organized a meeting


where an eye-doctor could have a look at Gurudevas eye-illness
(a little zyst on the inner eye-lash) in the Heidelberg University-
clinic.

So Premavati dd drove with Jahnava dd and Gurudeva to the


clinic and we drove off to the Heidelberg yoga-centre, where the
program was scheduled for about 17:30h.

We all thanked Premabhakti Yogashakti dd for her love and


hospitality and we promised to meet again soon, maybe in Dole
this summer.

She was very happy and her heart went out to Gurudeva.

The drive was very pleasant and we all met with excitement on
the street in front of the yoga-centre in Heidelberg. Srila
Gurudeva was with Zak and they had a nice little fresh-air and
we met them as soon as I parked the car. They were walking

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towards the yoga-centre and we mystically met in
timewonderful, right?

The eye-doctor confirmed it being a little harmless zyst which


should according to his opinion be removed surgically.
Gurudeva daid that he would think about it and he was very
thankful for the consult.

When we arrived in the yoga-centre, Gurudeva took some rest on


a yoga-mattress in a special room for him. He received a nice foot
massage from a very nice Austrian devotee named Mohan das. It
was very nice to see that so many people wanted to take care of
Gurudeva.

And then came a surprise: Tribhanga das, a beloved disciple of


Gurudeva came by after a long time being in Gurudevas project-
village Jamdahathe happiness of both was really great! What a
nice reunion!

Tribhanga das was very happy!

At 17.45h we started the evening by serving prasadam.


Annapurna dd brought also many nice preparations and so the
people could enjoy a huge feast and everybody ate to their full
taste!

Soon after, we started with bhajans. Now we were really a good


bhajan-band: Jahnava dd, Amala das, Tirthanga das, Tribhanga
dd, Suniti dd,.lots of ecstatic devoteesand I was the
translator, from beginning to end. I loved it very much, by the
way!

Srila Gurudeva spoke this evening about many things concerning


yoga and meditation. He explained what real samadhi meant.
Samadhi is the highest aspect of deep mediation, the last step of

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inner thinking, where the mind cannot leave the Divine Couple.
Gurudeva said that this state of being means that we see our
beloved Sri Sri Radha Mohan everywhere in this world, in every
circumstance and in every being we meet. This is real samadhi.
And to share your love in this state.

He explained what real yoga is and what we can do to re-


establish our longlost relationship with God.

Similar to the program in Mannheim, he spoke about the female


nature of the soul and ist actual loving marriage to our eternal
groom, God (Krishna).

Before he started the lecture, Gurudeva ordere dus to dedicate 2


minutes of silence to a devotee who left his body some days ago.
He prayed for his soul and everybody was touched by the
compassion Srila Gurudeva showed towards the people left
behind.

The lecture came to an end after some questions have been


answered brilliantly and we sang one more bhajan.

But Gurudeva was not willing to stop. After my translation work,


I had to honour the prasadam and after I came back, he still was
talking to the guests. He was so inspired!

We all chilled-out a little bit more and the owner, Tom, thanked
Gurudeva at the very end for being here and for his beautiful
lecture. He was very touched and completely in bliss about the
evening in his centre.

Back in our house, Srila Gurudeva again shared with us some


wonderful insight-realizations and we also had some late-night
fresh-air. He was completely inspired and not tired at allfull
of energy after 2 such very long days. We all could see that he

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was fully on the spiritual platform whereas many of us were
fighting brother sleepwhat a wonderful day. Again.

June 2nd (Saturday)

This day would be a very special day, so much can be promised


already

During and after the program yesterday in Heidelberg, many


devotees announced to come by for a private talk with Gurudeva
or just to hang out with the big family already living in our house.

Upaguru das was fully inspired and very eager to ask Gurudeva
for initiation and since he was the one who brought me to
Krishna consciousness, you cant begin to understand how happy
I was for him and he said that he would come whatever it may
take. The problem was that he worked nightshifts, but his
inspiration was so incredible huge that he said that he could sleep
later.

Our friend Zakarya also was very eager to come by and ask for
initiation from Srila Gurudeva.

Jay Govinda das and his girlfriend Lalita dasi also said that they
wanted to come, Tribhanga das and his wife too and Suniti dd
and Gaurasundara das wanted to bring with them Sunitis
mother.

How awesome! It would be a full house of wonderful devotees.

And our beloved sister Premavati dd received the promise from


our beloved Gurudeva to receive diksha-initiation from him
today.

Before everything else, Premavati dd disappeared with Gurudeva


in his room and when she came out, tears of thankfulness and

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love were running down her cheeks. Diksha-initiation from such
an elevated soul will change your life forever and the REAL
spiritual life for our beloved sister can begin NOW.

So after breakfast, the first devotees started to arrive. Upaguru


das and his wife Narayani dd made the beginning. Srila
Gurudeva talked to them very privately and inspired them very
much. But intersetingly enough, Srila Gurudeva decided to wait
with the initiation for Upaguru das and he said to him that he
should come to Dole. And again, interestingly enough, Upaguru
das was very happy with this decision.

Not me and my false ego, though. I was so happy for Upaguru


das and so much so that I was disappointed and felt sad for him,
because I wanted so badly for him to be initiated from a sadguru
finally.

But I am very thankful for this painful realization.

I control NOTHINGlol

Srila Gurudeva knows EXACTLY what is good for whom and


WHEN.

Suniti dd and Gaurasundara das brought, like promised, Suniti


dds mother with them. And after a small talk on our couch,
Gurudeva asked the elderly lady if she would like to be initiated.
Suniti dds mother happily accepted and quickly Suniti dd and
her mother went upstairs in Gurudevas room with him.

After a longer session, another completely happy soul left the


room and her new name was Marga Darshana dd. And how
happy she was! Unbelievable how merciful Gurudeva is to us
conditioned soul.

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He promised Suniti dd that she will see how her mother will
leave this body heading for Krishnas realm. Sweet!

Then pretty soon after this, our brother Zakarya came and he was
excited like anything. He knew that his old life would be over
from today on, hahaha.

Also our dear friends Hamsaduta priya dd and her husband


Paramahamsa das came to stay with us overnight. How lovely
Gurudeva greeted them and how nice everyone was engaged in
nice talking.

After them our new sisters Tulsi priya dd and Lalita priya dd
arrived.
They rented a room near our village and they decided to stay
until Sunday morning. So after initiation in Nrtingen on
Wednesday, they cherished every moment of our beloved
Gurudevas association and they also loved to be with us all.
Sweet!

Very quickly everything was re-arranged and woooshZak was


in the room with Gurudeva. I was downstairs in the kitchen,
cooking a nice feast for the devotees and I just smiled about what
happened, at some point in time loosing control over everything
that happened in our house. Counting the people was useless in
this constant flow of human beings, all focused on our sweet
Gurudeva!

Zak emerged from Gurudevas room with diksha-initiation and


the new name Jaga Mohan: one who sees Mohan in all the
creation. Ecstatic!

Jaga Mohan das was so happy, no words can desribe what I saw
in his eyes. Bliss and more bliss

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OoopsI forgot to tell that also Tribhanga das and his wife
Subhadra dd had arrived with Suniti dd too.

Now it was their time to be with Gurudeva in private.

Meanwhile Jay Govinda das and his lady Lalita dd arrived and
the house was beaming in bliss. And then Amala Krishna das too
came by for a visit. I was still cooking and he helped me finish
everything for the offering to my Mohan Giridhari.

Everywhere I looked I saw happy people with even more happier


facesliving room, dining room, kitchen, winter
gardenincredible

After Tribhanga das and his wifes darshana with Gurudeva,


lunch-feast was served and everybody dived into the ocean of
prasadam in sadhu-sanga. After lunch, weh ad a nice kirtan in the
living room.

About 14:00h, Gurudeva and many devotees left for the house of
Narahari das in Karlsruhe, the city where the evening program
was scheduled to begin at 17:30h.

Fantastic stuff happened: Jaga Mohan das was here with his
awesome car, a Mazda coup and he invited Gurudeva to drive
with open deck through the sunny day to Karlsruhe. What a
sight!

A far-out looking saffron sadhu in a western sports-


caramazingmany devotees followed them and few stayed
behind to clean up a little our house/ashramalol.

What a HALF-dayfully packed like 5 working days.

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We all met at 17:00h in the Yoga-Vidya-centre in Karlsruhe.
Everything was prepared nicely. For this day, Tribhanga das and
his wife offered to cook dinner-prasadam.

Gurudeva arrived at short after 17:30h in Jaga Mohans car and


soon the evening was in full bloom with a wonderful concert of
different bhajan-singers.

This evening Srila Gurudeva decided to have a question &


answers-thingy. So he invited everyone to come forward with
questions.

Narahari das first asked how to overcome the mentality to be the


enjoyer in this material world. How to give up the purusha-
mentality of exploiting everything.

Srila Gurudeva wonderfully led us through the stages of realizing


our true selves, beginning from I am not this body. Again he
referred to the gospel of Maria Magdalena where the soul is
mentioned to be of female nature. We are the enjoyed, Krishna is
the only enjoyer. We are prakriti, Krishna is the purusha. But
Gurudeva went further in his explanation and he told us about
the wonderful gift of Sriman Mahaprabhu: to become the servant
not of Krishna but even better, of Srimati Radhika. He told us
about the brilliance of manjari-bhava in a very sweet and
understandable way. We all could feel that he spoke from his
deep realizations, againlol.

Then Kalindi dd asked about how is higher, Radha or Krishna?


And Gurudeva sweetly told us that Krishna is eager to touch the
lotus feet of Radhikas servant and that He, the Supreme Person,
takes shelter in Radhika. Everyone was mesmerized about how
naturally Gurudeva talked about such highly elevated spiritual
truths. Again, everyone felt very satisfied.

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Many more questions then followed with very sweet and
sometimes funny answers by Gurudeva.

At the end, we again did some nice bhajans and the last bhajan
ended in a rousing kirtan where the whole room began to dance
wildly. Finally, Gurudeva stood up and joined the dance and
how sweetly he moved around in the crowd. The atmosphere
reached yet unkown heights. At one point, I had to leave my
mridanga (drum)-playing to eat some prasadam and boy, what a
nectarean feast was prepared outside. Lasagne, subji, salad,
chutney, sweetseverything was waiting there. Gurudeva
already sneaked out during one of the last bhajans only to return
with renewed vigor and strength, so I thought I will do the same.

Outside the big room, many people had gathered around tables,
enjoying Krishnas prasadam. So I joined them for a while. After
I was finished, I went back in the big room and to my
amazement, everybody was sitting around Gurudevas seat, just
watching him and occasionally he would talk with someone very
nicely and very sweetly. More and more people joined us.

Then, Govinda priya dds friend Ulla wanted to have a picture of


her next to Gurudeva and my wife shot it. This was the starting
shot of many portraits with guests and Gurudeva in one single
picture. It was so wonderful, I never experienced Gurudeva like
that. He was completely over-the-top, completely absorbed in
spiritual bliss, drunk with happiness and everyone could clearly
FEEL how ecstatic he FELT. He was in such a jolly mood,
incrediblelaughing, joking, smilingeveryone was
overwhelmed and in total bliss. Fantastic!

Then Diana brought some laddus on lollypop sticks to him and


he started to distribute them to all of us.

More and more guests came to him to receive the nectar.

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I NEVER experienced a program like this and I NEVER saw
Gurudeva any happier, and I saw a lot of programs!

But like all things, this wonderful evening came to an end too.

Gurudeva drove home with the Hamsaduta priya dd and


Paramahamsa das and we drove with different cars to our home-
ashrama.

Staying overnight were: the Hamsas, Jahnava dd and her friend


Ren (for him, a very very important time in his life started
today, because he was on tour with us until the end on Friday,
the 8th), Shyamali dd, Kalindi dd, Premavati dd and me and my
wife. Happy family!

Gurudeva didnt want to go to bed, so we stayed up a little


longer. Then Gurudeva received a call viaSkype from Vrindavana
and after that, we all went to bed tired, but ecstatic!

And the best was this: Since the Hamsas were sleeping in our
bed, my wife went down in the wintergarden-ashram and I was
allowed to sleep in Gurudevas roomactually he had asked me
before to sleep in his room, but I also wanted to support my
lovely wife who went to her bodily limits everyda and who was
happy to have me with her through the night as a cuddle-support.

But this night, I could not refuse Gurudevas wish and I happily
agreed to sleep on the floor in his room.

Man, I was a very happy geek!

June 3rd (Sunday)


Today we had a wonderful last breakfast in our house.
Everybody helped preparing a nice brunch with sweet and salty
things. Gurudeva enjoys a salty breakfast, so Suniti dd made

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some fantastic pancakes for him and some great salad. The rest of
us shared the remnants of bygone feasts and we also plundered
the rest from our fridge.

Today we had been invited by Karuna dd who lives near


Aschaffenburg. She knows and loves Srila Gurudeva and for the
first time she had the fortune to invite him to her house.

So after breakfast, the Hamsas had to leave for their place near
Lake Constance and Shyamali dd had to leave for her home in
Zurich. Kalindi dd too had to go home to her two beautiful kids.
Tulsi priya dd and Lalita dd already said goodbye yesterday, so it
was time to pack our things to embark on the second part of the
German tour. Suniti dd and Gaurasundara das took Shyamali dd
to the train station and then they headed to the house of Karuna
dd. Srila Gurudeva decided to drive with our beloved sister
Premavati dd who was in full ecstasy about this news.

Govinda priya dd and me headed to Karuna dds place in our


own car, packed with sleepingbags and clothes for one more
week. Kalindi dd left with us and mercifully washed all pots. All
glories to her!

Jahnava dd and Ren left for Mannheim, because Jahnava dd


had to do some recordings for her new CD.

So our house was finally empty after an absolutely blissfull week.

After two and a half hours, we arrived safely at Karunas place. It


is a beautiful wooden house in a small village and we were
heartly welcomed by her and by Gurudeva, who said: My God!
Where have you been? I already missed you!

They were all comfortably sitting around a fantastic lunch table


with absolutely wonderful prasadam. Karuna dd had invited

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some friends of her too and she and her fabulous two daughters
served out a lunch which clearly was not from this world. So,
Govinda priya dd and me joined them immediately, wheras we
started with the vegetables and the rest was feasting on cake(s)!

Gurudeva visibly felt very comfortable.

When everybody was finished, Gurudeva took some rest and we


quietly started with some nice bhajans.

The program was scheduled for about 18:00h and slowly the first
guests arrived.

Annapurna dd and Upaguru dass wife Narayani dd came,


Narahari dad and his wife arrived. And soon enough Srila
Gurudeva joined our program, looking fresh and relaxed.

Then amazing things start to happen: Since it was a Sunday and


pretty far from many of our friends, we thought that maybe not
so much people from our area would attendbut wrong we had
been!

Tirthanga das and Diana, Jaga Mohan das, Radhanatha das, Jay
Govinda das and Lalita dd, Ren and a friend of Jahnava
ddGurudeva couldnt trust his eyes anymoremore and more
people filled up the house unable to tolerate separation from him.
He was visibly touched by the love all these people showed, some
of them driving more than 2,5 hoursHe was in ecstasy.

The bhajans went from fantastic to ecstatic and everybody was in


great bliss.

Srila Gurudeva gave a wonderful lecture about the importance of


understanding the true gift of Sriman Mahaprabhu. And he
strongly made the point that weh ave to be able to receive that
gift, unconditional love for Radha and Krishna. He said that we

94
will not be able to receive that kind of love if we dont start
practicing this love here in this world. We should always be in
samadhi, always see the Divine Couplke in all arrangements
here on earth. And internally we should fix our SELVES in our
eternal form, which is by nature a female form. He again
explained that female means here to be enjoyed by the only
male, Krishna.

It was again fascinating to hear him speak so eloquently and easy


to understand about such a highly elevated topic.

Afterwards he answered many interesting questions, especially


from Narahari das.

Srila Gurudeva answered them brilliantly and everybody


benefitted so much.

And SURPRISEJahnava dd came after the recording session


and Gurudeva was so happy. Jahna dd decided to stay with us
until we return home next Wednesday.

Of course we ended the talk with bhajanas and then we had a


nice chill-out in the living room, slowly good-bying everyone
who had to go.

It was completely amazing that our tough atheist and strict non-
believer Ren again came andhe stayed overnight with his
lady Jahnava ddready to come on tour til Wednesdaywhich
turned out to be Thursday nightLOL.

After everyone had left, we all went with Gurudeva to his room
where Premavati dd massaged him very gently. Again weh ad the
fortune of being so incredibly close with Gurudeva. We felt so
blessed. Gurudeva loves these moments of tranquility in his
room, preferably with some of his disciples. So we sat there and

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boy oh boy, what a fantastic dialogue came forthRen had
many questions and Gurudeva expertly answered them. But not
only this. Gurudeva felt that something in Ren s heart was
about to change. The man already was very soft now after all
these days in Gurudevas and our association

But this night, Gurudeva talked to his soul. He told Ren things
he could never know from a pure materialistic standard. Ren
received a very astonishing and puzzling (for him!) what is in
esoteric circles known as reading. It was utterly mind-blowing
what Gurudeva said to him and in which waylike a father who
talked to long-lost son. And Ren loved it. It was very serious and
really soul-touching how Gurudeva reached out to a man who
presented himself so tough and strong. But Gurudeva spoke
directly to his heart and Ren therefore could accept everything
Gurudeva saidlike a disciple would.

And it would be the beginning of a spiritual love-story between


Ren the strong and Gurudeva, the loving magician. It was
wonderful to behold what developed after this memorable
evening.

Again we witnessed the all-encompassing love that radiates from


the heart of our beloved Srila Gurudeva. He truly is a magnet of
love. The evidence was right there, down in the living room,
when soul after soul entered the house to be with him, not able to
without him for even one day. And it would continue like
thatamazing, right?

Good night.

June 4th (Monday)

This day needs to stories as background information.

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1)

In Heidelberg, Srila Gurudeva met his friend Dr Ludwig Jacobs


(Radharadhya das) and his wife, Sita dd.

He knows the doctor from a long time ago when he visited


Gurudeva in Vrindavana. During the evening, Radharadhya das
offered to do a full health-check up on Gurudeva. Srila Gurudeva
was very thankful and accepted the offer gladly. So they fixed the
check-up for Monday morning (today) at 8:30h.

2)

The next two and a half days we would be staying in


Abentheuer/Birkenfeld. This is really something very very
extraordinairy. Now, there is a beautiful ISKCON-temple in
Abentheuer. Until now, Srila Sadhu Maharaja rarely was allowed
to enter a temple of ISKCON in Germany. He was sometimes
allowed to have darshan of the deities where he was staying, but
this was something very special here. They allowed us all to have
a wonderful evening bhajan-session with Gurudeva in the
beautiful temple room. It was scheduled for Monday, 17:00h.

Also something else needs to be told: The community of devotees


here in Abentheuer is pretty numerous.

Many senior devotees live here around the wonderful temple of


Sri Sri Radha Madana Mohan.

Many of them experienced a very hard time when their


Gurudeva, Srila Harikesa Swami Vishnupada left ISKCON.
Many of them lost their faith and their hearts had been
disappointed. Many of them stopped actually engaging in bhakti-
yoga.

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Since I was in ISKCON from 1989 until about 1997, I too was
initiated by Srila Harikesa Swami and I knew and still know
many of the devotees living here very well. We all went through
wonderful times with our main temple back then based in
Heidelberg.

So it was a little miracle for me what happened during these two


and a half days. But we will come to this soon...Suffice it to say
that Srila Sadhu Maharaja came and touched the hearts of many
humble and noble souls. Soon, soon

So, after a nice nights rest in Karuna dds house, we said


goodbye to a very moved family and we could see how much
Gurudeva enriched their lives

We decided together that Jahnava dd, my wife and I would take


Gurudeva to the doc in Heidesheim and that Suniti dd and
Gaurasundara das would drive straight to
Abentheuer/Birkenfeld.

My old friend, the former temple president, Vishvadeva das,


invited us all to sleep in his big house. He is the production
manager of Govindas sweets. Govindas is a large company with
many many items ranging from Ayur-Vedic products to health
products to all kinds of natural food and living stuff.

It took us about 90 minutes to arrive at the doctors house and


they both already waited in great excitement, even their dog who
is a vegan devotee-dog!

After a pleasant welcome-greeting, Radharadhya das drove


Gurudeva to his lab to run the blood tests.

Jahnava dd, my wife and I relaxed nicely in their wonderful


home and Sita dd went for a quick grocery-shopping.

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After she came back we talked nicely and it became a very soul-
touching discussion. Again, we were stunned about Krishnas
plan, since soon we realized that weh ad a very deep connection
with each other. Sita dd revealed to us that she misses devotee-
association very much, especially with like-minded devotees.
And this is also what Gurudeva is always telling us.

We all need svajati-association: people who are in the same


mood and who are loving to each other. It was really a wonderful
example, how Gurudeva brings together the souls who need each
other. Weh ad never met before and it was really something not
from this world. Thank you, dear Sita dd for being so friendly,
open and kind!

Soon the doc and Gurudeva returned and we took a light


breakfast, consisting of a vegan oatmeal dish with nice fruits.

Then the doc had to do more tests and comparisons and we


happily chilled and relaxed in the living room.

After like 2 hours more, everything was done and the doc told
Srila Gurudeva which medication he should from now on take. It
was clear that he should take A LOT of Vitamin D and B12,
since these depots had been very low for a good amount of time.
So the doc gave Gurudeva some medicine and told us that he
would send more to our place where we would be on Thursday
and Friday.

Srila Gurudeva was extremely pleased with Radharadhya das


work and with a happy mood we said goodbye and pretty soon
we were on our way to Birkenfeld near Abentheuer, to
Vishvadeva dashouse.

There the devotees had been preparing a nice lunch for us.

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We arrived at about 15:00h and it was very nice to see
Vishvadeva das since such a long time. Gaurasundara das and
Suniti dd and with them Annapurna dd were already in kitchen-
ecstasy, preparing a delicious pizza for their deities.

Srila Gurudeva was shown his room by the house owner and
after that we accepted prasadam together on the table in
Vishvadeva das living room.

The pizza was fantastic and we ate with full gusto. Then Srila
Gurudeva decided to take some rest.

I went with him to help him settle-in properly.

Honestly, I dont know why, but Gurudeva loves me very much


and I am always completely flabbergasted about how much he
likes to hang out with me. You see, he is so merciful, so much
so that he gives such a low-class fool like me the opportunity to
be very close to him.

When I wanted to leave him resting on his bed he asked me:


Where do you sleep tonight? I answered: Oh Gurudeva, we
all sleep in the temple-ashrama. To this he replied: No, this will
not do. Govinda priya dd and you must stay with me. You sleep
here in my room on the couch and Govinda priya dd will find
also a place. My heart nearly explodedI happily thanked him
and wished him a good rest.

Then I told Vishvadeva das that Gurudeva insists that I sleep in


his room and Govinda priya dd said that she would sleep in the
car.

But Vishvadeva das didnt want to hear this and said that we will
find a space for my lovely wife.

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And by the mercy of Gaurasundara das and Suniti dd, who gave
my wife the little room, it all went out fine. They love their
Wohnwagen-mobil and so they slept there.

At about 17:00h we arrived at the temple in Abentheuer and it


was extremely wonderful to see how they received a sadhu of this
high calibre. The devotees welcomed Gurudeva very warmly and
soon after a wonderful darshan of their exquisite deities we all sat
down for a wonderful evening of singing bhajans.

More and more guests streamed inTirthanga das with his wife
and little daughter, Gopalsundara das and many more, also from
the temple-community.

And even Ren came and was determined to stay for the rest of
the tour.

Soon the atmosphere was drenched in blissfull-music and happy


faces everywhere. Srila Gurudeva too was very happy to see what
was going on and he loved the deities and the fabulous temple
room.

Soon the temple manager, Bhagavat-dharma das, entered and I


was very happy to see him because I also know him for more
than 20 years. He received Srila Gurudeva nicely and welcomed
him with sweet words. At the end, we sang together the Gaura-
arati and after that we accepted mahaprasadam from Sri Sri
Radha Madana Mohan.

Two ladies living in Birkenfeld asked for initiation and Srila


Gurudeva happily accepted them and we were invited to their
home the next day at 12:00h.

Also a very nice devotee named Vrajendra-nandana das was with


us and he invited us all together with Gurudeva to a wonderful

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home-satsang tomorropw at 15:00hWoweverything
developed so fastGurudevas mercy was flowing so mighty and
free! Everyone could feel his caring and his radiating, all-
encompassing love. The hearts melted and we left the temple at
about 20:30h.

This night before falling asleep Gurudeva and I talked about the
day. I told him that I was so touched and so happy for the
devotees here in this place and Gurudeva told me that he loved
the time in the temple and that he felt like being in Vraja-dhama.
I told him that he is like a touchstone who transforms everything
and everyone into love. He just said that all is happening by his
Gurudevas mercy and by the mercy of his ishta-deva, Sri Sri
Radha Mohan.

He truly is the most humble and loving person.

June 5th (Tuesday)

Today would be a day packed with experiences and happenings.

The devotees headed by Suniti dd arranged a marvellous


breakfast in Vishvadeva das house and boy oh boy, what
surprises had been waiting

First I was overwhelmed to meet Dhanu dd, the owner of


Govindas. She decided to join us for breakfast. I know her since
1989 and I always liked her like a caring mother. She too was
very moved by the hug Srila Gurudeva gave her. Soon she was
sitting next to him and theay were happily talking during
breakfast. She told Gurudeva her story of commercial expertise
and success, how she started her business alone in a small cellar
in Heidelberg together with her husband, Hriday Govinda das. I

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met both of them around 1989 in Heidelberg and her husband
visited me in my city (Karlsruhe) many times and together we
arrange wonderful programs for the students of my university. I
cooked a huge feast and he spoke about bhakti-philosophy.

It was very nice to see how Gurudeva re-opened their hearts and
how their eyes started to shine more and more, sometimes near to
tears

After breakfast, when everybody left in a wonderful mood, the


greatest miracle happened.

Dhanu dds husband, Hriday Govinda das, met her when she
came to work (he works there too, at Govindas). She told him
that Srila Sadhu Maharaja is at Vishvadeva das place. And then
it shook himHe instantly left their building, telling: I have to
meet him.

This was stunning for all of them knowing him and working with
him. He was a disciple of Srila Harikesa Swami too and after he
left, Hriday Govinda das was very disappointed and he stopped
doing bhakti-yoga and in due course of time he even grew a little
bit inimical towards the devotees. He just wanted to be left alone.

We were all still sitting in the living room when the doorbell
rang.

Hriday Govinda das came in, fell to the feet of Gurudeva and
told him this: I had to meet you. I know that you are now my
Gurudeva. Srila Prabhupada appeared to me last week to tell me
to go and meet with you. Here I am. Please accept me as your
disciple.

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I was moved to tears and I guess everyone there was too. Here a
58-year old man fell to the feet of Gurudeva with tears of joy in
his eyesI couldnt believe what I saw. This was incredible.

After many many years of intensive sadhana, this nice soul found
his shelter in Gurudeva.

Gurudeva spoke for about an hour about the importance of


engaging in real bhakti-yoga. He told us what real seva means,
what real love means and that we should know who we are. We
should be fixed in knowledge about our eternal form. Again I
had to read from the Gospel of Maria Magdalena and again Srila
Gurudeva explained the nature of the soul.

When the soul is engaged in psychological systems, she looses


herself on the mental platform. When she experiments in esoteric
circles she looses herself in pseudo-spirirtual activities and when
she dabbles in ritualistic religion she looses herself in dry
activities which will yield no loving result, no pure love for God.
Again Gurudeva elaborated on the example of the soul as a
prostitute. As long as our soul, the real bride, is not connected
with her real groom, God, she lives a life in prostitution.

It is exactly like in the Vedic literature, Gurudeva said. We are all


manjaris for the service to Srimati Radhika. This we received
from Sriman Mahaprabhu. Nothing is finished. It all is still going
on. It is upon us to join the eternal loving activities of the Divine
Couple.

Everyone, especially Hriday Govinda das was thunderstruck by


this lecture. He was now very sure that he was at the right place
at the right time.

Also Ren listened with huge ears. He told me afterwards that he


never heard anything so brilliant and so clear about bhakti-

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philosophy and that his heart was extremely touched. Ren by
the way was over-nighting in a very special place in the
Abentheuer-temple, where no MAN dares to sleepLOL.

So, Gurudeva saked Hriday Govinda das when he would like to


be initiated. Right now, he answered.

And so Gurudeva and he walked to the house-temple-room and


Gurudeva gave him harinam and diksha on the spot. And a new
name too: Govinda prema das. Was this an awesome morning or
what?

But it was only the beginning of a fantastic day.

At 12:00h we arrived at the place of a very nice Indian lady.


There a dear friend of hers and herself begged for initiation.
When the whole crew and Gurudeva arrived there, all was very
festively arranged and we were greeted very warmly. Gurudeva
sat down and we started to talk with each other. Gurudeva asked
them questions and everyone was very happy. Giridhari das also
was there. He is a good friend of Srila Gurudeva and his wife was
the other lady begging for initiation.

During the discussion it came to light, that the Indian ladys


husband, an old disciple of Srila Prabhupada, was in the
apartment too. He is suffering from severe depression and we
were told that he is currently unable to get up from bed.

Srila Gurudeva was very surprised and told them at once that he
must see him. So he went in the husbands room and had a
strong talk with the man. He was very compassionate but he also
strongly recommended that he should never give up and that he
should try to overcome his depression.

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Soon, we were all back in the living room, except for my wife.
She lovingly talked with the husband and somehow or another,
by Gurudevas mercy, she inspired him to get up from his bed.
And to the surprise of everyone, he actually entered the living
room and joined our little satsang.

After some more talking, Gurudeva decided to proceed with the


initiations. So one lady after the other received the mercy of
sadguru in the form of Gurudeva giving them harinam and
diksha right there and then. I cant begin to describe how happy
both ladies had been. Krishna priya dd was the Indian ladys new
name and Vishnu priya dd for the German lady.

The ceremony was concluded by a feast of prasadam. What an


auspicious gathering somewhere in the village of Birkenfeld, in a
Reihenhaus-apartment in the middle of big apartment-building-
complex.

Unbelievable. Gods ways are incredible, right?

But the day went even more intense

At 15:00h we arrived at Vrajendra-nandana das house and we


immediately felt home there. He is a wonderful soul with a
wonderful wife and family and they had prepared a fantastic
dinner and everything was arranged so festively in the living
room. Srila Gurudeva sat down in a nice chair and ordere dus all
to start with bhajana. And believe it or not, the house filled up to
the brim with hungry devotees from the local community, all
very eager to see and hear our beloved Gurudeva!

After some time, Tirthanga das with his whole family appeared
againHe drove home last night because of his elder daughter
and today he came with whole family. Gurudeva gave him a very
long hug and we continued singing holy songs.

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During one bhajan, Gurudeva said into my ears: Tesam satatam
yuktanam

I knew at once what he wanted. A Bhagavad-gita. He wanted to


explain verse 10 of the 10th chapter called The Opulence of the
Absolute.

tesm satata-yuktnm

bhajatm prti-prvakam

dadmi buddhi-yogam tam

yena mm upaynti te

To those who are constantly devoted to serving Me with love, I


give the understanding by which they can come to Me.

Srila Gurudeva really went at this verse! He marvellously


explained the meaning, especially what it means to serve with
love and which understanding Krishna here means.

Priti-purvakam means doing with a loving attitude.


Gurudeva told us that how can we love without a relationship?
He emphasized this point very vehemently. We need a
relationship. He let Gaurahari das read from Srila Prabhupadas
introduction to the Gita about the relationships the soul can have
with Krishna. And since the audience consisted of experiences
devotees, Srila Gurudeva really was speaking very strongly and
very much according to pure Vaishnava-philosophy. If the
audience is very new and unacquainted with Vaishnava-
philosophy, Srila Gurudeva speaks more in broader terms which
are more easy to understand and to digest. But here, everyone
was hungry for his harikatha, full of rasika-explanations.

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And to have a relationship, we need to know who we truly are.
Again he let Gaurahari das quote Srila Prabhupada where he
says that every living soul has her eternal form, her eternal
svarupa. It is our first goal to awake this svarupa and from there
on try to form a loving relationship with Krishna. This is what
Krishna means when He talks about giving the understanding.

Service must be ego-free and done out of love. We can only love
Krishna when we start to love our own self and all the others who
come into contact with our self. We must start to love here in this
world, because if we fail here, what can we expect from loving in
the spiritual world. So weh ave to be always in good association.
What kind of association? Srila Gurudeva told us about the
meeting of Raya Ramananda and Sriman Mahaprabhu. Raya
Ramananda met Sriman Mahaprabhu and they fell to the floor in
total ecstasy. Why? Because Mahaprabhu was in the mood of
Radhika and Raya Ramananda is Vishakha dd in Krishna-lila. So
actually, it was like meeting your very best friend. But they had to
stop their ecstasy. Why? Because they were not in the proper
association. Raya Ramananda was with brahmanas who only
love their rituals. They could never understand or feel these
deepest emotions which both displayed during their meeting. So
Mahaprabhu and Raya Ramananda scheduled another, more
private meeting in the evening, then in proper association. When
we are not in the right association, our bhakti cant grow very far.
We need svajati-association. We need to be together with like-
minded souls in the same mood. Then real love in action can
exist and grow. To serve means love in action. Everything we
do must be drenched in the consciousness of love.

Srila Gurudeva was unstoppable. I rarely heard him go as deep as


today.

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He also spoke about guru-tattva. By serving the guru, who is an
expansion of Srimati Radhika, a manjari in his eternal form, we
can understand everything.

Afterwards, Srila Gurudeva answered many questions and


everybody was very happy to have been here in his divine
presence.

One question was about our eternal form. Srila Gurudeva told us,
that first we will know the form of our Guru-manjari, then we
will know the form of our Ishta-deva and then we will realize our
own true form.

All these truths are connected. by serving a real Gurudeva, all


will become clear.

We ended the afternoon/early evening with more wonderful


songs and a tremendous prasadam feast.

Thank you, Vrajendra-nandana das and family! It was a beautiful


event and and honour to be in your house.

Srila Gurudeva loved it very very much.

In the evening, we went to Vishvadeva das house again for a lst


nights sleep.

Next day, we had to be on the road to reach our next goal,


Gaurasundara das house in Schnecken, 90 minutes from here.

Again, I had the fortune to sleep with Gurudeva in one room and
he told me that today was a very special day. I told him that he
transormed the hearts of many sincere devotees today who all
went through a very hard time.

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I again realized that every soul needs the association of such a
wonderful person like Srila Sadhu Maharaja. He again
demonstrated his glorious expertise by giving his unconditional
love to so many different recipients. It was like a miracle to
beholdwatching hearts melt, tears flow, faces shine and smiles
grow biggerwonderful.

June 6th (Wednesday)

This morning after breakfast, Govinda prema das promised us to


show us the whole company building of Govindas, every nook
and corner. So we all had breakfast with him and then the whole
crew packed their stuff because after the tour of Govindas we
would drive on to a last darshan of Sri Sri Radha Madana Mohan
and then onwards to Gaurasundara das house to meet with his
mothers and some of his children.

The tour of the company was totally awesome and Srila


Gurudeva wanted to see EVERYTHING. He was very much
interested and he really appreciated the cleanliness and the proper
setting of the factory.

We also could see where the famous Govindas sweets are


produced. Gurudeva was in bliss to see all the prasadam packed
and stored for sending out. Prema-prasad ki Jayho!

Again, Srila Gurudeva had nice long talk with the chief, Dhanu
dd, and we all strolled around, checking stuff out.

At the end, it was time to say goodbye and it was heartwarming


to see the tears welling up in these senior devotees. We will see
us in Dole this summer! This was the echo when we left. Hugs
and warm embraces, loving words and big smiles. Everybody of
Govindas was in ecstasy and Srila Gurudeva too.

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So on we went for a last darshan of Sri Sri Radha Madana
Mohan. And beware, kalosmi Krishna says in the Bhagavad-
gita and oh yes, He is the time.

When we arrived for darshan, it was just Their Lordships


lunchtime and weh ad to wait for like 10 minutes before the
curtain would open.

After a beautiful darshan, we were invited to accept Their maha-


prasadam. It was as if completely arranged by a divine handlol.

So, everyone had a very very nice lunch-meal which was not
from this world. Gurudeva was very nicely received again and
the local devotees fell in love with him. It was wonderful to
behold.

Everybody fully satisfied, bodily and spiritually, we again said


goodbye and whooshwe were on the way to Schnecken,
where Gaurasundara das lives.

He was the gentle big brother-figure on this tour. NOTHING


could shake him. He is the example of wonderful humility. He
never spoke a bad word and it was always a complete pleasure to
be with him and funnily enough, our humour was on the same
wavelength. His wife, our beloved Suniti dd was in complete
service-ecstasy. She was always cooking and arranging a
wonderful breakfast and she was like a true mother to youngsters.
We love her so much and by her gentle nature, she always has a
nice word for everyone and boy oh boy, sh eis fixed in our bhakti-
siddhanta. Awesomely so!

So after again something like 90 minutes, we arrived at the


wonderfully restored old original German Fachwerk-house of
Gaurasundara das. Jahnava dd with Ren and Annapurna dd,

111
Govinda priya dd and me, Gaurasundara das and Suniti dd with
our beloved Gurudeva.

This afternoon was the afternoon of our staunch anti-sect-man,


Ren. Jahnava dd told me that since days he only speaks about
Gurudeva. In Abentheuer, on the last evening, Ren told
Gurudeva that he accepted him as his teacher. That alone was
extremely wonderful. Now Jahnava dd was telling us that he is
even contemplating to take harinam-initiation. We were blown
away. Srila Gurudeva stole his heart in the most beautiful and
most magical way.

When we arrived at the house, Gurudeva decided to sleep for 45


minutes. He laid down on a bed and we, Jahnava dd, Annapurna
dd, Ren, Govinda priya dd and me, chilled out on a big mattress
in front of Gurudevas sleeping place, separated by a thick
curtain.

And really, Ren told me that he wants to take initiation. But he


said since he loves me and trusts me, I should convince him a
little bit moreand I am a good convincerlol

So I preached to him about the glories of the Holy Name and the
effect on our soul. About the glories of Gurudeva I didnt need to
say anything more. Ren had this justified fear that he would
enter a cult or a sect. He therefore didnt want a spiritual name
so that everyone can see that he is a Krishna-devotee. So he first
wanted initiation without a name. Then, after my treatment, he
chose to receive a spiritual name from Gurudeva.

After about 50 minutes I crawled to Srila Gurudeva and told him


about Rens decision. And Gurudeva was SO happy. He
immediately agreed to initiate him right now , right here.

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So Ren gathered a new tulasi-neckbead and a new japa-mala
from Suniti dd and then we went into the chamber where
Gurudeva rested. It was very sweet and very intimate. Gurudeva
took his hands, put the mala in the hands, covered it with his
hands and told me to also put my hand on top. In this way,
Gurudeva chanted the maha-mantra 4-5 times and we all
repeated with Ren. Then Gurudeva revealed a far-out name: He
named Ren Bali das. Gurudeva told us, that one of Sri
Balaramas nicknames is Bali. And again Gurudeva proved to
us that he can read minds easily. This name will make nobody
suspicious. Not many know this intimate nickname of Sri
Balarama. And no, it is NOT for Bali Maharaja.

Ren, now called Bali Baba sweetly, was completely happy. And
we again stared in wonder about the great magician, Srila
Gurudeva. What an afternoon!

Then Gurudeva went down to talk to the family members of


Gaurasundara das. His mother and two of his daughters came.
We stayed upstairs, completely stoned in spiritual bliss.

At about 18:30h, we left for the next program at Madhuri das


soundstudio in Embken, near Cologne.

So after another hour, we reached our destination and the studio


was full of excited souls, some of them seeing Gurudeva for the
first time. After some very sweet bhajans Gurudeva decided to
begin the evening with some questions & answers. And
immediately some questions came up:

* What is real satsang?

Gurudeva said, that sat here actually means true, real. So


satsanga means to be always in contact, in sanga with the
truth. First we have to know what is the truth, what is the reality.

113
When we know this, we are always in satsang. On the bodily
platform of course it mean to be in the association of true and ral
people who have the same mood and the same goal.

* What is the meaning of samadhi?

True samadhi means to be always in the consciousness that my


ishtadeva is with me. Everywhere I go, where I look, what I do, I
am always together with my Gurudeva and my worshipful deity.
I can see and feel Sri Sri Radha Mohan in every human being
and in every living entity.

Many more questions have been asked and Srila Gurudeva


answered them all in a very wonderful way. He always knows
what the audience needs to hear and how. This time he strongly
spoke about demigod-worship and that not all worship is the
same. It is not the same if you worship Krishna or Shiva. The
results will be different. It was very convincing and inspiring to
hear him speak with such powerful siddhanta (philosophical
conclusions).

Afterwards we had some more bhajans and then Madhuri das


and his wife served a fantastic meal of Krishna prasadam.

It was very late when weh ad to leave and drive to our last stop
on this first part of the German tour. We left at about 23:00h and
we arrived at Sadhu Mas (formerly known as Asanga dd) place
late in the night at about 0:45h.

When we arrived there, Sadhu Ma dd and her life-partner Sudevi


dd were in full ecstasy. They welcomed us cordially and
immediately we felt like home in such a nice atmosphere.

We were shown our room and I went with Gurudevas luggage


to his room.

114
Where are you sleeping? he asked me. In the other room. We
all sleep there, Gurudeva. Its fine.

No. You sleep here. Stay with me. They will arrange mattress
for you.

And so it happened that again I was blessed with another night in


Gurudevas room. Again we talked a little and I asked him some
private questions concerning his answers this evening. But private
questions need to stay private

June 7th (Thursday)

Today would be the last day of the first part in Gurudevas


German tour.

After a wonderful breakfast from Suniti dd and her ladies-team,


weh ad a beautiful walk around the premises.

Sadhu Ma dd and Sudevi dd life in the house of Mas parents in a


wonderfully scenic village. The village is very old and small. In
the heart of it is a former monastery-building-complex.

This former monastery serves no was an old-age-home and also


as a building where you can rent rooms for classes, yoga-lessons,
seminars or workshops.

We walked around for quite some time until we arrived at the


rented room for the evening program.

It was a beautiful baroque-ish room with chairs and mirrors on


the wall, like a ball-room in old Vienna.

Srila Gurudeva expertly advised us on how to place all the chairs


for the guests. He really saw everything already in his mind
and instructed us accordingly. At least that was my humble

115
impression. And at the end, the room looked ready for a
wonderful evening.

The prasadam for the evening Ma ordered from the ISKCON-


temple in Cologne. That was a brilliant idea. So everyone had
time enough to be ready for the evevning.

And boy oh boy, what an evening it was about to become

When we returned from the monastery to Mas house, more and


more guests were coming.

Many people from around the area and some from a little further.

Some of them know Gurudeva from Dole, some have heard in


Dole from him.

Gurudevas friend Radha Krishna das and his girlfriend came


from near Cologne. Isvari dd, Karuna dd came with a friend from
Aschaffenburg, Mohini priya dd decided to celebrate her birthday
with her family right here, so she brought delicious prasadam
with her. And still more and more people were arriving during
the afternoon.

Dandadhrik das and his wife from Cologne came, and slowly
slowly it was time to start the program with bhajans. Gurudeva
decided to join the bhajans a little later so that he could still sit
with the guests who loved to see him in the frontyard of Mas
house.

So, many of us walked to the rented room and there Suniti dd


and some devotees decorated the room nicely. Her deities had
been set up and so was my Mohanji Giridhari. It was a very
festive atmosphere, visually and vibration-wise. Suniti dd started
with Krishna deva bhavantam vande. Soon the room filled up
with many guests. Jahnava dds mum and friend arrived, Amala

116
das came with his girlfriend and kid. Pretty soon, Srila Gurudeva
entered the room and the atmosphere gained in spiritual weight
and density. He sat down on one of the two prepared and
nicely flower-wise decorated tables (one was for the translator,
me). No, I didnt want to boost my ego. Gurudeva ordered it like
that. :-D

I told Srila Gurudeva that with Dandadhrik das we have another


fantastic bhajan/kirtan-singer when I told Gurudeva that he just
came in, Gurudeva ordered him to sing. And Dandadhrik das led
to extremely wonderful bhajans and soon everybody was
dancing. Awesome!

Then during the second bhajan, Tirthanga das arrived and


Gurudeva was so happy to see him. Still, more and more guests
arrived to the program.

Gurudeva was overwhelmed when he saw that again, the whole


family was together, also now on this last day. Jaga Mohan das
came, Jay Govinda das and his girlfriend Lalita dd arrived and
immediately she joined the bhajan-group, playing the violine.

Soon Jahnava dd sang, then Tirthanga das and again the last
bhajan ended in a tumultous dancing session where even
Gurudeva joined in. Slowly nearly all the guests were dancing.

I played the mrdanga-drum and watched in pure amazement. Sril


Gurudeva danced with at least 50 people in a baroque-like room
and everyone was singing and jumping in pure happiness.

After these ecstatic singing and dancing, Srila Gurudeva ordered


first Sudevi dd to say something and to announce the sequence of
the evening and after thathe ordered Sadhu Ma dd to speak to her
guests. It was very heart-touching how happy both of them had

117
been to be able to host Gurudeva and to organize such a fantastic
program.

In the meantime nearly all of the people from Madhuri das


place yesterday arrived and now the room really was full.

Srila Gurudeva started the philosophical part by telling that he


would like to have another Question & Answers-discussion.
Everybody liked that idea and like yesterday, Sril Gurudeva
answered all of them like a true sad-guru, always completely in
empathy with the one who asked, always perfectly in-tune.

He also told the audience of his trip to the USA.

One lady asked what his few was of the Buddhistic philosophy.

Gurudeva said that he was in America in one wonderful


Buddhistic temple. There he observed the different rituals and
their chantings. Afterwards he had a discussion with the main
monk there and he asked what their siddhanta is.

The monk told Gurudeva that like a glass is full of water, the aim
is to empty the glass and drink the water. So, similarly, we all
should be empty like a glass. We should make our Selves empty.

Gurudeva told us then that he liked that example very much.

Yes. We all should become empty. Empty of our bad habits,


empty of our false ego, pride and possessiveness. But we will not
leave our Selves empty. No. We fill our Selves with pure love,
with prema.

Everyone liked that example.

118
Also he again refererred to the gospel of Maria Magdalena and
the concept of the soul being the female bride and God being the
groom.

Gurudeva spoke for about 60 minutes and afterwards weh ad


some more kirtan and then a delicious prasadam feasts.

The audience was completely happy and having seen now many
programs with Gurudeva, I safely can say that this was one of the
best programs and really a dignified ending of the first part of his
German tour. It was like a family reunion and more.

Many people today came forward and asked him for initiation.
So the candidates and Gurudeva and a few of us walked over to
Mas house and Gurudeva blessed some wonderful and happy
souls with harinama-initiation and diksha-initiation. I was
especially happy for Madhuri das, now VRAJA Madhuri das and
his wife Vandana dd, now Shiva Vandana dd and some of their
regular guests like now Ragini dd and Keshava priya dd and
some others more. Gurudeva was extremely happy with the
whole event. Soon after, Jay Govinda das and Lalita dd came in
after the initiations and checked on Gurudevas health. Then
they had to leave for their home.

After that, we just sat in Gurudevas room and had a pleasant


conversation.

Suniti dd and Gaurasundara das gave Gurudeva a comfortable


foot massage. We all sat there nicely resting and talking with
him.

Together we waited for Kalindi dd to arrive. She was scheduled


to come by train at about 22:45h, but her train got delayed and so
she arrived at about 23:40h.

119
When she arrived it was a very wonderful reunion with her since
she left our house days before which seem like weeks

We sat there with Gurudeva and then the moment came where
had to tell Gurudeva, that we must leave because we need some
days in our house where we have to prepare ourselves for the
starting of school next week.

How can you leave before I leave. Impossible. Half joking, half
serious

Dear Gurudeva, I know it is very bad, but we really have to


leave.

So after some small verbal battle, he accepted that we leave. It


was very hard and I again felt my heart breaking, but I told
myself to be strong and to be tough. We see him soon anyway, I
told my longing soul.

With a heavy heart, we hugged our beloved Gurudeva and we


promised to meet up with him in Wahlwies on July 20th. He was
happy to hear that and with last hug and his benevolent blessings,
he said good-bye and take care.

See you soon! And with his smile in our mind, we walked to
our car and drove off.

What a fantastic spiritual ride, what a blessing to have been so


close with our beloved Srila BV Sadhu Maharaja, AGAIN.

If you want to know what I realized about his glory, check these
verses and you know everything about him. He LIVES and
BREATHES these ultimative verses.

120
And if someone would ask me to describe Gurudeva, I would
show him these verses and tell him or her, that Gurudeva
EMBODIES them. Now. Here on this planet. Go see him!

rmad Bhgavatam 11.29.12

mm eva sarva-bhtesu
bahir antar apvrtam
ksettmani ctmnam
yath kham amalayah

With a pure heart one should see Me, the Supreme Soul within
all beings and also within oneself, to be both unblemished by
anything material and also present everywhere, both externally
and internally, just like the omnipresent sky.

rmad Bhgavatam 11.29.13-14

iti sarvni bhtni


mad-bhvena mah-dyute
sabhjayan manyamno
jnam kevalam ritah
brhmane pukkase stene
brahmanye 'rke sphuligake
akrre krrake caiva
sama-drk pandito matah

O brilliant Uddhava, one who thus views all living entities with
the idea that I am present within each of them, and who by
taking shelter of this divine knowledge offers due respect to
everyone, is considered actually wise. Such a man sees equally
the brhmana and the outcaste, the thief and the charitable
promoter of brahminical culture, the sun and the tiny sparks of
fire, the gentle and the cruel.

121
rmad Bhgavatam 11.29.15

naresv abhksnam mad-bhvam


pumso bhvayato 'cirt
spardhsy-tiraskrh
shakr viyanti hi

For him who constantly meditates upon My presence within all


persons, the bad tendencies of rivalry, envy and abusiveness,
along with false ego, are very quickly destroyed.

Dear Gurudeva,

Thank you for tolerating this fool here for nearly 12 days in your
presence.

Thank you for your unlimited kindness.

With a heart full of love and affection,

Tarun Govinda das

122
THE FINDHOF ADVENTURE

Prologue: Vrindavana, January 2014:

Last winter, my wife Govinda Priya and me, Tarun Govinda das,
visited Sripad Sadhu Maharaja in his beautiful Munger Mandir in
Vrindavana.

As always, the time came, right at the end of our stay, to talk about
the tour of Sripad Sadhu Maharaja (from here on now called Srila
Gurudeva) which would take place in the beginning of summer
2014.
Srila Gurudeva asked me to plan the US-tour together with the
devotees there and then we sat together to talk about the European
which should follow the US-tour.

So, my wonderful sister Suniti dd, Gurudeva and I sat down to


discuss the various options. I wont go into details here, but the
reason why I mention this and why there needs to be a prologue is
that, right at that time, Suniti dd had already made arrangements with
a spiritual place in the middle of Germany, near Cologne.

It is called "Findhof" and she told us that this is an amazing place


full of love and the owners would love to host Srila Gurudeva there
and they would be ecstatic to hold a bhakti-festival there.

http://www.findhof.de/

Those of you who know Srila Gurudeva are very much aware of the
fact that he can "feel himself" into something which is still "in the
future".
And I was amazed how strong his reaction was when he heard about
the "Findhof". He immediately said: "I will go there. You have to
organize a nice festival there. No doubt, I will go there. I will plan
my tour in the US so that we can be at the "Findhof" at the given
time."
Suniti dd was happy beyond measurement and I was still astonished
that Gurudeva immediately agreed to go to this place.
He loves Suniti dd very much and trusts her decisions
wholeheartedly. So we planned the tour of Gurudeva accordingly.
Day 1: June 16th

Suniti dd, Gaurasundara (her husband) and Gaurachandra went to


Frankfurt airport to pick up Srila Gurudeva and his daughter Niti.
They met with a beaming Gurudeva, filled with wonderful and
loving experiences from his recent US-tour.

Govinda Priya and I arrived at the apartment of Suniti dd and


Gaurasundara at about 4:45 pm and it was a most wonderful meeting
after nearly 5 months of separation from Srila Gurudeva. Of course
this period of separation was made a lot easier by countless Skype
and Tango-meetings in the digital world.

Suniti dd and Gaurasundara live now in Birkenfeld and they recently


moved into a beautiful apartment and Srila Gurudeva was extremely
pleased with their arrangements. It is a nice and spacious place and
we had a little room for ourselves right next to our beloved
Gurudeva. It felt like a wonderful "family reunion" on German
grounds.

The lovely couple nicely decorated their apartment and the living
room is very big with a most sweet altar with Radha Krishna deities.
So we sat there and we all chatted with Gurudeva who was so
pleased and happy to meet all of us.
He told us about his experiences in the USA and he said that this
year was the best year and he could go very deep in the philosophy
of love. He said that he constantly spoke of realizing our eternal
svarupa in loving relationship to Srimati Radhika which is the
highest goal brought to us by Sri Gauranga Mahaprabhu.

Slowly more and more guests arrived and the gathering grew bigger
and bigger.
We started with bhajans and then Srila Gurudeva started his lecture.
He let Suniti dd read the text on the back of her newly published
book, the German translation of Srila Narayana Maharajas "Hidden
path of devotion".
Suniti dd did an excellent job in choosing this book and she most
wonderfully published a very nice German edition. Gurudeva was
very very happy with her amazing efforts.

So she read the text on the back, describing the subject matter of this
book, namely Sripad Vishvanatha Cakravartipadas "Raga-vartma-
chandrika" which is discussed and explained by Srila Narayana
Maharaja.
It is said there that the book "Raga-vartma-chandrika" is like a
moonbeam in the darkest night which shows us the way to our goal,
pure love to Radha and Krishna, expressed in our RAGA or passion
for the service to the Divine Couple.

Srila Gurudeva compared the dark night with the ignorance in our
hearts. We forgot about our eternal nature and therefore we are in the
dark night of the soul.
He explained that love or BHAKTI is like the full moon illuminating
the dark night. With BHAKTI we can have light on our way to our
goal. We need this light. Where there is light, there can never be
darkness.
Srila Gurudeva told us that we need this RAGA, this most wonderful
longing for being together with Radha and Krishna. When we want
to love Them, we need this greed. We cant only gather knowledge
life after life. What do we want? Know Them or LOVE Them?
BHAKTI makes us love Them. Our hearts need to be full of RAGA,
full of passionate love for Them. He told us that this is not a worldly
love-passion. Focused on the Divine Couple, our love will become
pure.

He wonderfully explained that we should follow the ragatmika-


devotees in Goloka Vrindavana. We then are called raganuga-
devotees: Followers of those who have RAGA in their souls
eternally, like Srila Rupa Manjari.

He made the point that this path of raganuga-bhakti is a very narrow


one and that we have to be careful when we walk on it.

Without realizing our eternal svarupa, we cant see this shining light
and we cant walk on this path of RAGA. Relationship is the key and
emotions are the key. Without knowing who we are, we are trapped
in this body and we are following the path of our senses. Real
emotions can only come from knowing our real identity in
relationship to the Divine Couple. Gurudeva let Suniti dd read the
passage of Srila AC Bhaktivedanta Swamis Bhagavat-gita, page 4
of the introduction. There Swamiji writes that every individual soul
has an eternal relationship with Krishna in his or her eternal form.

Gurudeva said that without the mercy of Radhika, coming into the
heart of Sri Guru, we can never understand these things. Only by Sri
Gurus mercy can we actually see the moonbeam of pure bhakti in
the dark night of our soul.

After the class, Gurudeva answered nice questions and we all


honored prasadam, food offered to Radha and Krishna. It was a
wonderful evening and everybody was in bliss and very very happy.
An old friend of mine, Mahapralayakari das and his wife Ulrike were
so touched by Gurudeva that they decided to come again next
morning. Ulrike was so happy to finally meet Srila Gurudeva. She
told us that she watched countless videos of him on the internet and
it was like a dream come true to be able to meet him.
Govinda Priya and Ulrike were speaking about harinama-initiation
and Ulrike was amazed that this would even be remotely possible.

Day 2, June 17th:

So next morning, after sweet and personal moments with our


beloved Gurudeva, Ulrike and Maha and her daughter came again
and Gurudeva gave initiation to Ulrike and a new name for my friend
Maha: She is now Dayanidhi dd and his new name is Premamrita
das. Gurudeva told the daughter that her name now is Priya. It was a
very moving and touching initiation and we could watch the
changing of livesdue to the boundless love and mercy of
Gurudeva.

Gurudeva then was invited to a breakfast at Vishvadevas house, the


owner of the production company for Govindas which is again
owned by Dhanu dd who also had attended the class the evening
before.
When Gurudeva left for the breakfast, Suniti dd, Gaurachandra and
we cleaned everything and after an hour or so we went to
Vishvadevas house nearby.

The plan for today was that after breakfast, Gurudeva would drive to
the place of Sadhu Ma and Sudevi dd near Cologne to have a nice
afternoon and from there then to the final destination, the Findhof.

I had the good fortune by the mercy of Gurudeva and my beloved


wife to drive with Gurudeva, Gaurasundara and Niti to the place of
Sadhu Ma and Sudevi dd.
During the drive we had personal talks and Gurudeva chanted and
rested nicely.

When we arrived at their place, we were received with the most


loving sentiments and we immediately felt like visiting another part
of the family. They showed Gurudeva their renovation-works of their
old house which they want to transform into a center for making
satsang or different seminars. They told us that they needed a name
and Gurudeva told them: "Bhakti-Yoga-Zentrum".
So, all was set and Gurudeva liked what he saw: a big room for
seminars, a kitchen and a private room for the teacher/seminar-
leader/etc

Sadhu Ma and Sudevi dd then served us wonderful prasadam and


after some sweet talks we all took some rest. What a wonderful stop-
over.
Gurudeva woke up nicely rested and came to us out on the balcony.
We had some coffee and then we drove to our final destination: the
Findhof.

The Findhof is an arrangement of older German Fachwerk-houses, a


beautiful complex situated in very natural village-surroundings. It is
run by Achim and his wife Ute, Achims brother Bernd and by
another couple called Eberhard and Irmgard.

When we arrived at the Findhof, many people and devotees already


stood outside, singing a welcome kirtan. Gurudeva was very warmly
received by the owners and his beloved devotees and the eyes of
everyone drank the beauty of our beloved Gurudeva. Of course, all
hugs inclusive.

Gurudeva went straight into the seminar-room which was festively


decorated and in which wonderful Suniti dd and her "team"
established a very nice altar for the Divine Couple.
We all sat down and Gurudeva immediately went to talk about the
goal of our life. He praised the Findhof and lovingly encouraged the
owners to keep up their marvelous work. He liked the place
instantly.
Srila Gurudeva gave a deep class about the importance of our eternal
relationship with the Supreme God, Krishna.

He talked about the eternal relationship Jesus has with God as his
father. We all need this relationship and we all need to fix our minds
and our emotions on the Divine Couple. If we want to love, we have
to shift our consciousness from being unconscious (material) to
conscious (spiritual). We should not serve our senses, but we should
serve with our real identity. Bhakti-yoga is the way to reach our goal.
When we engage in BHAKTI, love-in-action, we can become free
from the material senses and from our material mind who always
creates doubts. We must realize our eternal form.
The audience was captivated on the spot and everyone loved to listen
to Gurudevas elaboration on BHAKTI in its most sweet form.

Soon, the next important guest would arrive. Krishna Chandra from
Switzerland was the other great sadhu who was invited to speak on
the nature of .BHAKTI.
We all very lovingly welcomed him and everybody was now happy
that the festival was about to begin soon.

Krishna Chandra talked about the importance of meeting with holy


persons. He told us that even a short time in the presence of holy
sadhus can change our life completely. We all come here not to just
passively watch a performance or such, but we all are actively taking
part in sadhu-sanga. We all share and exchange feelings of love. We
all learn from each other. When we leave an association of sadhus,
nothing will be as before. Krishna Chandra advised us to fully take
part by asking questions. He said that we should not just listen in a
diffused way. We should digest and think about what we heard and
we should consciously decide what to take with us and what we
should do.
It was a very nourishing introduction to the festival. Srila Gurudeva
hinted at the various topics in BHAKTI and Krishna Chandra told us
how to "participate".

Suniti dd gave us the information about the daily schedule:

6:30 am Mangala arati (morning ceremony)


7:30 am class
9:30 am breakfast
Up to 2:30 pm free time to associate, talk, do bhajans,
private meetings, etc
Evening class & bhajans

After the class, prasadam was served and Srila Gurudeva was sitting
together with the devotees and the owners of the Findhof. They
explained him their "way of yoga", which is a path of shakti yoga.
Gurudeva nicely told them that all perfection is achieved by
following the highest yoga: The yoga or the meeting of the soul with
the Supersoul. He told them that BHAKTI, love in action, is so
wonderful, that everything is included in this practice. All mystic
perfections are knocking on BHAKTI'S door. No path is followed
without BHAKTI. They were very impressed and they admitted that
all the needed was love. So, Gurudeva is the right person to enlighten
them about REAL love. He sat together with the devotees for a long
time and very late in the evening, he went to his room and took rest.
By Suniti dds mercy, my wife and I had our room right next to
Gurudeva so we all could take care of him every minute.

Day 3, June 18th

Since Srila Gurudeva went to bed very late and since he took no
jetlag-rest after flying into Germany on Monday, he was very tired
this morning. We joined him after waking up and we sat there
peacefully enjoying these most wonderful intimate "morning-lilas"
with our Gurudeva. Talking about the day before, the impressions,
sitting together, sharing and just being happy.
This morning Srila Gurudeva asked Krishna Chandra to start with
the lecture, telling him he needed to have more time this morning for
himself.
So Gurudeva went to give class at about 8:20 am or so.
He told in this class about Saint Francis of Assisi who was a realized
soul. Gurudeva explained his spotless character and his true spiritual
nature. He told the story where Saint Francis gave away all his
clothes and then stood naked in front of everyone. "He had no
problems, no shame. Women and young girls were there. But he was
in his spiritual identity. He had realized that he was not in his bodily
consciousness. We have to become like him. He could talk to all
living entities, even to the birds. Why? Because he realized his
eternal self and all the other living entities as eternal souls. All
connected to Krishna. One big family."

Gurudeva also remembered himself visiting the place of Saint


Francis in Assisi, Italy. He was there, talking with the main priest.
The priest showed Gurudeva the small cottage and the yard where
Francis sat to meditate. Gurudeva said that he sat down there to
meditate on his own eternal relationship with God. We should also
follow this example and make space and time for meditation on our
eternal self in relation to Krishna. He told us that BHAKTI is a
universal truth, not bound by religion and belief. Religion is not
spirituality. Rituals and rules and regulations make Krishna not
happy. We should focus on Divine Love. In everything we do with
our hands, feet, tongue we should act in love, with Krishna in the
center.

I couldnt follow the full lecture, because I cooked breakfast these


days for Gurudeva, so I left in time to prepare something for him.

After prasadam, Srila Gurudeva talked with many guests, sitting


outside in the little yard of this wonderful complex of old and
beautiful houses. He was shining from afar and many just sat there
watching him.
When many questions had been answered, Gurudeva decided to take
some rest.
After talking to some guests, I decided to check on Gurudeva and
found him taking nicely rest in his room.
I laid down on the floor at his foot-side of the bed and I just
treasured being with one of the most wonderful persons on earth.
Shortly I napped too, then woke up and chanted while Gurudeva
calmly rested some more.

It is nothing but utterly amazing to be witness of such a true miracle:


Gurudeva flew into Germany after being on tour in the USA where
he went to the Boston area, Miami, Ecuador and Perualways in the
mood of serving his beloved Sri Sri Radha Mohan by helping the
devotees and by giving them love. His body is nearly 70 and he still
teaches us youngsters what it means to serve and to be always ready.
This time, during the "Findhof- adventure", I consciously spent a lot
of time with him, especially when he was in his room, receiving
guests. And again, like many times before, I witnessed his true magic
in how he lovingly helps, transforms, advises, supports, clears
doubts, etc

So after Gurudeva rested nicely, his disciples Janavallabha and his


wife Radharani came to his room and gave Gurudeva a most
refreshing and most expert massage. What a nectar to sit there and
watch Gurudeva being relieved of muscle tension due to always sit
in different positions.
Of course, it was utterly fantastic to watch him talk with the
masseurs and giving them his blessings and love.

In the afternoon, when I was with Gurudeva, Krishna Chandra spoke


about the different approaches to a relationship with Krishna: the
majestic approach in awe and reference (aishvarya) and the most
sweet and personal approach (madhurya). I could register very happy
faces on the people who came out of this class and I heard only
wonderful things about it.

In the evening, Srila Gurudeva decided to answer questions brought


forward to him. Krishna Chandra immediately asked him: "In all
your devotional years, what was your secret to always keep
something in your heart from all the wonderful association and all
the sadhu-sanga you got? How did it all stick to you and didnt fall
down from you like water drops from a frog? When we listen to
sadhus and when we meet them, very little stays with us and most of
it we tend to forget."

Srila Gurudeva answered that we should be very greedy for the


mercy of the great sadhus. We should serve them. We should
approach them in humility. We should listen very carefully and we
should be ready in our innermost heart to embrace their teachings.
We should take shelter in their association. They are ashraya-tattva,
shelter. Ultimately, Srimati Radhika sends out her messengers here
in this world to rescue the jivas. She is the final shelter. Vishaya is
the goal. Krishna-prema is vishaya. How to reach this goal, this
vishaya? By taking shelter of the ashraya-tattva, by Her Who loves
Him the most.

Krishna Chandra told also how he keeps everything "with" him: By


offering the results of all sadhu-sanga, of all realizations to Sri Sri
Radha and Krishna, like a prayer. He gave the example of us when
we go to the bank and when we give all money to the bank for safe-
keeping. In the same way, we should give everything to the Divine
Couple.

"How can we develop such necessary greed in spiritual life?"

Srila Gurudeva said by chanting of the Holy Names and by engaging


in love-in-action, BHAKTI. Greed is actually coming by the mercy
of someone who has already this greed. When we are together with
such a person, we also develop that same greed. Here Gurudeva
hinted at the tattva of Sri Gurudeva. Only by the mercy of Sri
Gurudeva can we develop such powerful greed.

"How can we become more close to our Gurudeva when we are


alone in our home, at our job or at other different activities where we
are not in the bodily presence of Sri Gurudeva?"

Actually, Srila Gurudeva said, we are always connected to Sri Guru.


He bestows upon us the Holy Name and later on the diksha-mantras
and he engages us in BHAKTI. So by chanting and doing BHAKTI,
we are always connected with Gurudeva.
"What to do when Sri Gurudeva leaves this world?"

Srila Gurudeva said that in the book translated by Suniti dd, Srila
Narayana Maharaja tells us to look for a siksha-guru when our
Gurudeva left this world. He should be in the same mood and we
should take shelter from him. Diksha-guru is one, siksha-guru can be
many.

"How do we realize our eternal svarupa?"

Srila Gurudeva told us that diksha is a process. It is like a school.


When the process of diksha is finished, we realize who we really are.

Then Srila Gurudeva was asked to explain the Mahamantra.


Someone said that this mantra is only about Krishna. Why would he
always talk about Radhe Radhe Radhe

"Hare here means 'to cover with an embrace'. It also stands for
Radhas name. So Radhika makes 'hare' to Krishna. Full embrace to
Krishna. Not only once: Two times She embraces Krishna Hare
Krishna Hare Krishna. Then 'Krishna Krishna Hare Hare'. Krishna
realizes then that someone wonderful is embracing Him. He sees that
it is Radha. So He does 'Hare Hare' tooHe embraces Radhika too.
First Radhika embraces Krishna, then Krishna embraces Radha.
Then 'Hare Rama Hare Rama' the HARE here stands for the living
soul, the jiva. The jiva beholds RAMA Radha Madhava. They are
togetherdancing the maha-rasa. RA for Radhika, MA for
Madhava. They invite the jiva: 'Come to us.' Then 'Rama Rama Hare
Hare'. Now we are there. We serve Them in the rasa-dance. We can
see Them together. We are happy only when they are together."

Many questions were answered and all the devotees were very
happy.
After the question-answer-thing, Srila Gurudeva initiated five new
devotees into the Holy Name.
Welcome to Gurudevas family, dear Sundara Priya dd, Caitanya
das, Nitai das, Vasudha dd and Gaurangi dd.
Again, Srila Gurudeva received many guests in his room after the
evening class. Unfortunately I was too tired to be there and so I went
to sleep a little earlier.

Day 4, June 19th

This morning class, after saying his invocation prayers which end
with a prayer to Srimati Radhika in Her form as our Swamini, our
beloved Mistress, Srila Gurudeva immediately started to talk about
the glories of Srimati Radhika. He said that the highest goal for the
living entity is to become a maidservant of Srimati Radhika. Why?
Gurudeva told us that we should engage in BHAKTI. Where does
BHAKTI come from? From Krishnas HLADINI-sakti, His
innermost bliss-energy. We should try to know about Her. Many
years, many lifetimes we were trying to gather knowledge about
Krishna, about God. But it is more important, now that we know
Him, that we start LOVING HIM. And who can teach us to love
Him best? Radharani. She is the master in teaching us how to love
God.
We need to forget that Krishna is God. He forgets it too. Only then
can we really love Him for Who He is.

We need to give mercy to our own self. JIVA-DAYA. DAYA means


mercy. When we know our self, we are merciful to us. We can act
then in our self. We need to love our self. It is the nature of the soul
to love. It has the potential to love. We are eternal, so we need to
focus on the eternal. We need to stop loving our senses. We need to
change our love. Now we love material things. We need to
spiritually love. When we know our eternal self, we will
automatically love it. Then NAME RUCI taste for the Holy Name
will come. Now we have taste (ruci) for sense enjoyment. When we
know our eternal form, we will have taste for bhajan, for spiritual
things. For Krishnas namewe will do seva. VAISHNAVA-seva.
We will help EVERYONE. All living beings are devotees. We need
to make them conscious. Then they are Vaishnavas too.

We dont need to change dress, job, house, etcThe gopis live their
lives tooHusband, children, householdbut secretly they love
Radha most. They do everything secretly, in hiding. Not openly. We
should do the same. Outwardly we do our worldly duties, but inside,
we develop love for Radha. More than for Krishna.

After some time, I had to go cooking for Gurudeva, so the last part of
the class I missed.

After breakfast, Srila Gurudeva chatted with the devotees and then
he told us that we should do non-stop bhajan until the class of
Krishna Chandra in the afternoon.

So we sat down with Srila Gurudeva and many of us sang some


bhajans and it was very very wonderful. Srila Gurudeva was there
the whole time. He enjoyed it VERY much.

During Krishna Chandras class, many devotees came to Srila


Gurudevas room and he patiently took care of everyone. Many
guests who never saw Srila Gurudeva before decided to take
initiation.
Our good friend Gauravani came to visit Gurudeva. Also Dagmar,
Govinda Priya's friend stayed until next day and Premavati's two
friends, Nicki and Kerstin visited Gurudeva. They were falling in
love with Gurudeva by the minutes. They had the opportunity to
have private talks with him in his rooma treasure highly valued by
everyone.

Also we all could feel the owners of Findhof falling in love with
Gurudeva more and more. Not only did they refuse to charge a
festival-fee for the days, but they even decided to give the money
charged for the guest-rooms to Gurudeva as a donation.
Unbelievable. What an act of selfless love. Achim told Suniti dd that
all money for the rooms should go to Gurudeva.
I could see that they more and more loved the association. They
attended all programs, morning and evening and sometimes
afternoon. Especially Eberhard was very much attracted to bhakti-
yoga.
But also Achim, Irmgard and Ute loved the bhajan-singing and the
classes.
In the evening we planned a mantra-concert and many guests came
especially for this event, with Srila Gurudeva as a mega-super-bonus
of course.
They started with some nice devotional songs and at one point, Srila
Gurudeva intervened (after a couple of songs) and a nice devotees
called Dandadhrik das was invited to sing bhajans.
Srila Gurudeva talked between the songs about Vrindavana. He sang
verses from a wonderful written poem by Bilvamangal Thakur,
"Govinda Damodara Madhaveti". How ecstatically beautiful it was
to listen to Gurudeva sing. He explained some of the verses.

"With a closed fist we come to this world. In this closed fist, there is
nothing and we leave with an open hand. We come with nothing and
we go with nothing. Only the love to Radha and Krishna stays."

"Who are your real friends? Only those who help you reach the
highest goal, Sri Guru and the Vaishnavas."

"Try to see Krishna in everyone and in everything. Mother, father,


relativesall are forms of Krishna. We need to learn to love here in
this world to prepare for Goloka Vrindavana, the spiritual world."

"You must forget that Krishna is God. He Who commands


everything, He Who controls everything is controlled in Vrindavana
by His friends. They win in games with Him. They ride on His back
when He loses. He loves it when they win. That is real love."

"When they hear Krishnas flute, the gopis go mad. They dress
wrongly and they apply lipstick to their eyes and eyeliner to their
mouth."

Krishna Chandra told us about the nature of the gopis love with
verses from the Bhagavatam. Their love is so pure that even Krishna
cant fathom its depth.

It was a very wonderful evening and Jahnava dd closed the mantra-


shower with extremely nectarean bhajans.
After the concert, again some devotees came to Gurudeva's room and
shared some intimate moments with him and again it was wonderful
to see how much he loves and cares for the devotees and his
disciples.
One encounter truly was touching the heart: Eberhard, one of the
owners, came to Gurudeva's room and told him that we wants to
become a yogi. Gurudeva said: "What? You want to leave the family
and the world?" "No", he answered, "I want to become a bhakti-yogi.
Like you and all of them here." Everyone cheered in joy and
Gurudeva was very happy. Eberhard asked for initiation and
Gurudeva blissfully agreed to initiate him the next morning.
Short before we left Gurudevas room, the next day and his departure
was planned with Suniti dd and Gaurasundara. We all watched how
amazingly Gurudeva coordinated his departure to many different
places before then reaching his next destination: Yoga-Vidya-center
Bad Meinberg.

Day 5, June 20th

So, the last day of a fantastic and most sweet festival of bhakti-
experience.

Srila Gurudeva asked Suniti dd to say something about this


weeklong festival and to thank the owners for their wonderful
hospitality.
So she spoke very kindly with a warm heart and thanked them and
all those who made this week possible.

Srila Gurudeva started his class with making it clear to us, how
important it is to start with our self-realization. We need to become
conscious of our eternal nature. We need to start a divine relationship
with our Creator. Right now we are without real feelings, like a chair
made of matter. We need to wake up and become conscious. The
energy is always there. The mercy is always there. We have to be
greedy to receive the mercy. Again Srila Gurudeva showed us the
example of Jesus and how close he was with his father. He was a
truly self-realized soul. Why? Because he was in a relationship with
God. Not a neutral observer. Gurudeva said that our eternal
consciousness needs a form. Only with a form (personal form) can
we start a relationship. The son needs a form to relate with the
Father, the friend needs a form to relate with the Supreme Friend, a
lover needs a form to relate with the Supreme Lover.

We see in this ceiling above us ten light bulbs. They are there a long
time. Did they develop a relationship with each other? Light has no
form. Light cant develop a relationship. We need to understand that
we are a spiritual person. We have a spiritual form. To realize this,
we must change ourselves. BHAKTI can change us.

When Gurudeva was in Hungary he visited a town with many saintly


people. There, in this town, visitors can visit a stone with a beating
heart. The stone was trembling and there was like a heartbeat. It was
pulsating. So, if a stone can change his nature, why cant we? We too
can change. This stone changed. It is unimaginable. Gurudeva said
he saw it with his own eyes. BHAKTI can change us too.
We need to start with loving relationships in this world. With our
spouse, family, relatives, with all living entities.

He then gave initiation to Eberhard and rewarded him with the name
Paramatmananda das. The initiation was really very touching and
lovingly Gurudeva spoke about the meaning of initiation and made
some points of the principle of Guru-ship (guru-tattva).

Paramatmananda das was utterly happy and after the initiation, Srila
Gurudeva and Krishna Chandra had to leave, each to his own
destination(s).
We all said "See you soon" and not "Good bye", because we all are
connected and we all will see us soon.

After breakfast, everyone left the Findhof with a sad heart, but filled
with wonderful and most uplifting experiences. It was truly a week
of love and a deepening of everyones BHAKTI.

All glories to Sripad Sadhu Maharaja!


All glories to Krishna Chandra!
All glories to Suniti dd and the organisators!
All glories to the Findhof-team!
Epilogue:

As if Srila Gurudeva knew it all along: The Findhof-adventure


turned out to be a most wonderful, sweet, personal and uplifting
festival of BHAKTI.
Everyone could feel the glories of the association with Holy People
(sadhus). Everyone experienced how wonderful a life of love can be.
It was a week of getting to know each other and of getting to love
each other in a truly spiritual sense of the word.

By the mercy of Srila Sadhu Maharaja, everyone could receive a


glimpse into spiritual reality where no confession rules supreme but
one: unconditional love.
The presence of Srila Sadhu Maharaja, our beloved Gurudeva, is like
a touchstone: His presence transforms every place into the realm of
love Vrindavana.
Tirelessly he radiates love. He showeres buckets full of nectar-sweet
blessings and mercy in abundance.
I was with him now for many times and many festivals, but I have
the impression that he deliberately decided to drown this place in
honey-sweet bliss. It was utterly amazing how much love he
gave to everyone and it was utterly amazing to watch TOTALLY
NEW PEOPLE who NEVER met him before fall in love with him.
I was oftentimes sitting there nearly shedding tearsit was so
touching to witness his magic of pure love.

Krishna Chandra too is a truly wonderful sadhu. I could witness too


how he, full of love, was taking care tirelessly of many many
devoteesalways ready to help, talk or support each and every one.
He is such an elevated soul and it was very inspiring to see how he
lives and breathes bhakti in its essence.
He is a real connoisseur (rasika devotee) who knows how to touch
the hearts with the right words.

Suniti dd, our wonderful sister, was the "motor" of this ecstatic
festival. She not only organized EVERYTHING but also was
responsible for the NECTAR prasadam on all days, breakfast AND
lunch/dinner.
Her service was beyond humanly possible and she was full of love
towards everyone.
I saw her in the kitchen from the early morning hours and she was
the last person to leave.
My heart goes out in thankfulness to such a dedicated dasi of
Radhika.

Her husband Gaurasundara das was the backbone of the festival.


Like a big brother to everyone, he was the pillar of support. His heart
is not in any human category of size, much too big.

Gaurachandra das was the perfect personal servant to our beloved


Gurudeva. He was with him all the time. Taking care, massaging,
medicine overview, you name ithe was there only to make
Gurudeva happy.

And as the nectar goes on: A date was already fixed for the end of
May next year in 2015.

So the adventure of the Findhof turned into a festival of love.


"Findhof" in English means "a courtyard where we can find things".
I guess everyone found something jewel-like.

Jay Sri Radhe.

PS: It may be that, because it is all so fresh and new in my humble


mind that something I wrote happened on another day or on another
time-period of a day.
Please forgive me for that.
Please, if you find a "time-switch", tell me and I will correct it.

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