Divorce increases children's risk for a variety of problems.

Experts are still unable to accurately

predict which children are most vulnerable. Some things to consider:
Intelligent, socially mature, and responsible children are more likely to adapt well to their
parents' divorce.
Children with a sense of humor and get along easily with others are likely to get more
support from other adults around them.
Children who are difficult to manage and have negative attitudes to their parents and
caregivers are likely to have more difficulties: others are less willing to offer them
support.
Here is the Children Negative Effects of Divorce list, as reported by many researchers,
therapists and other experts:
Emotional Pain and Suffering
A divorce hurts all the family members, including the children. Very young children do not
understand what is happening, but the feel the loss of one of the parents not being around.
Pain however, is something that goes away. The memories stay, but memories are not always
on your mind. They only pop up when you think about it. Some people cannot let go negative
feelings and emotions and keep them alive. By doing so, they keep on feeling mistreated,
misguided and pityful. These feelings prevent them from focussing on positive things and on a
new future. Usually, if they become aware of the vicious circle they are in, or when somebody
else makes it clear to them, the suffering stops.
Feeling Insecure
A divorce is a life changing event for children. It turns their world upside down. They do not
understand the divorce very well. All they know is that everything will be different. They have
many questions: where do I go to school? Where will I live? Will I be able to see my friends?
Will the other parent still be around? Did I contribute to the divorce? Will I live with my brothers
and sisters in the future or will they live with the other parent? My daddy has a new girl friend,
but I do not like her.
It is not difficult to take away most of their insecurities. Present a clear picture to your children of
their future. Do it proper but quickly. You really help your children if you talk about their feelings
and if you take away their insecurities. Children Negative Effects of Divorce tip: co-operate
with your ex and find good answers and solutions and communicate them clearly to your
children.
Anxious
If the insecurities stay there, a child might become anxious which can become an anxiety
disorder. This is an extreme consequence, of course. A Children Negative Effects of Divorce
tip:The Anxiety-Free Child Program teaches your children how they can get rid of their anxiety.
Lower self-esteem
Parents, the parential home, the unconditional love between the parents is something children
belief in. Your break-up does damage the self confidence of your children. Especially children
between 5 and 10 years old are vulnerable. They often think they caused the divorce by
behaving not as expected.
In the beginning, many children think the worlds ends when their parents announce the divorce.
Children also wonder what their friends think of it Will my class mates see me as a looser
because of the divorce?
Agressive, angry
Some children become aggressive or angry after the divorce. Usually, this behavior goes away
after a few weeks or month. If it is not the case, you should take action. Learn how to change
the attitude and the behavior of your child from one or more books or guides on the subject (For
example, Children Negative Effects of Divorce suggests you to read the book: Child Anger
Management for Parents) or seek help from a professional counselor or therapist.
Depressed
An individual is depressed if very negative feelings stay permanently on top of ones mind.
Depression is a serious mental illness for which professional help and sometimes medication is
needed to get rid of it.
Poorer social skills
There is a correlation found between children of divorce and social skills. Experts suggest
children of divorce have more difficulties trusting other people unconditionally. They tend to
have less social contacts. Especially young children tend to cut social relationships after the
divorce. Later in life, this can result in having difficulties building intimate relationships.
Children Negative Effects of Divorce suggestion: Stimulate your child to participate in all kinds
of events to stay socially involved
 Higher divorce rates for Children of Divorce
For children of divorce the probability to divorce is twice as high as for children from normal
families.
Learning Problems
Children from divorced families are more likely to have academic problems, be more aggressive
and get in trouble with school authorities or the police.
When elaborating on children negative effects of divorce on academic achievement we need to
look at children's grades, standardized test scores, or dropout rates. Children whose parents
divorce generally have poorer scores. These results have been found quite consistently
throughout a variety of research studies over the past three decades.
Children's actual performance on tests consistently shows this difference, but results based on
teacher or parent reports are less likely to show this difference as both parents and teachers
often underestimate the difficulties a child may be having in school or may not recognize the
problems.
In some cases, it appears that children's difficulties with school may be caused more by their
behavior than their intellectual abilities.
Negative effects of divorce and academic achievements in gender difference.
Boys are more likely to be aggressive and have problems getting along with their peers and
teachers, therefore spending less time in school or on their schoolwork.
Girls are more likely to experience depression, interfering with their ability to concentrate on
schoolwork or to put as much effort into their work.
School success has long-term implications for children's success in life. It is important to find
ways to support children from divorced families.
To summarize my conclusions:
First, children who grow up in an intact, two-parent family with both biological parents present
do better on a wide range of outcomes than children who grow up in a single-parent family.
Single parenthood is not the only, nor even the most important, cause of the higher rates of
school dropout, teenage pregnancy, juvenile delinquency, or other negative outcomes we see;
but it does contribute independently to these problems. Neither does single parenthood
guarantee that children will not succeed; many, if not most, children who grow up in a single-
parent household do succeed.
Second, an emerging body of evidence suggests that marital education, family counseling, and
related services can improve middle-class couples' communication and problem-solving skills,
resulting initially in greater marital satisfaction and, in some cases, reduced divorce, although
these effects appear to fade over time.
Third, we do not know whether these same marital education services would be effective in
reducing marital stress and eventual divorce among low-income populations or in promoting
marriage among the unmarried. Low-income populations confront a wide range of stressors that
middle-class families do not. The evidence is limited, and mixed, on whether strategies
designed to overcome these stressors, for example, by providing job search assistance or by
supplementing low earnings, rather than relying solely on teaching marital communication and
problem-solving skills would also increase the likelihood that low-income couples would marry
or that married couples would stay together.
Fourth, to find out whether and what types of policies and programs might successfully
strengthen marriage as an institution among low-income populations as well as among a wide
variety of ethnically and culturally diverse populations, our national focus should be on the
design, implementation, and rigorous evaluation of these initiatives.
Parent-Child Relationships
Many psychological theories related to parental modeling such as those set forward by
Albert Bandura, (1963, 1977) suggest that parents tend to model nearly all behaviors for
their children. Feelings of apprehension towards marriage are due, at least in part, to
witnessing parental divorce and remembering the pain that it caused (Johnston &
Thomas, 1996). According to the modeling theory, it seems feasible that attitudes of
distrust or resentment divorcing parents experience may be transmitted to children and
could carry into adulthood.
A positive relationship with one parent has been found to have contributed in a negative
fashion to the relationship with the other parent after separation (Hoffman & Ledford,
1995). This may be partially due to one or both parents tendency to portray the opposite
parent in a negative light. Children may also feel compelled to choose sides during an
internal family conflict, while the amount of time spent with one parent has also been
shown to contribute in a negative fashion to the relationship with the other parent after
separation (Hoffman & Ledford, 1995).
 Studies by Zill (1993) and Wallerstein (1997) indicate that, as children, people from
divorced parent homes tended to show feelings towards their parents that are more
passionate than those of their peers in intact families. These attitudes could be attributed
to an increased fear of abandonment and loss caused by parental divorce, which is
compensated by increased attachment to the remaining parent or primary custodian.
These passionate feelings could likely take the form of anger or increased resentment
towards the absent parent as well.
Fathers
Most psychologists will agree that a father is important for the childs development to
instill discipline and other social skills. However, research that evaluated children of
divorce showed a more positive relationship with mothers than with their father; in
fact, research suggests that often the relationship with the father is endangered (Van
Schaick & Stolberg, 2001). Children of divorce also reported less attachment to their
fathers and rated them as less caring (Tayler, Parker & Roy, 1995). This can be
expected when considering that 89.4% of cases end with physical custody of children
being award to the mother (Maccoby & Mnookin, 1992).
There are important established gender differences in post divorce environments of
children that may explain the differential effects of parental divorce on women and men.
Childrens contact with their fathers after divorce is limited, and, consequently, girls and
boys have quite different exposure to same-gender modeling and role identification after
divorce (Behrens, Sanders, & Halford, 1999).
Fathers problematic behavior, and/or their perceived lack of effort, characterized most
stories of disengagement. Children who reported difficulties with fathers during the
marriage or who had little memory of their father were particularly vulnerable. Some
young adults reported relationships with fathers that had faded or disengaged, not
because of fathers problem behavior or lack of effort, but because fathers had moved
away (Arditti & Prouty, 1999). This evidence may suggest that parental involvement may
be a more significant factor on the attitudes children develop towards their parents after
divorce than divorce alone.
Mothers
At the same time, too much parental involvement may be psychologically unhealthy.
Some researchers have reported that male children become surrogate spouses to their
mothers, forming unhealthy and dependant relationships of intergenerational
enmeshment in the absence of the father. The son too often gets turned into his
mothers confidant, protector, and help-mate. When the mother and son are too involved
with and dependent on each other, it is difficult, if not impossible, for the father and son
to remain close (Wallerstein 1991; Warshak, 1992)
Children may be more likely to develop similar problems involving intimacy and
relationships modeled through the single mother. Sadly, too many of these sons and
daughters end up having trouble dating, establishing intimate relationships, or feeling
comfortable with their own sexuality (Nielsen, 1999). Evidence tends to strongly support
that parental divorce significantly affects the importance of specific relationship ideals
such as affection, passion, and independence (Conway, Christensen, & Herlihy; 2003).
Sons & Daughters
The son is more likely than the daughter to hear hostile, derogatory, comments about his
father from his mother- which in turn, often weakens the bond between father and son
(Wallerstein 1991; Warshak, 1992). This in turn can cause harm to the sons gender
identification and self esteem rarely does a boy hold a negative opinion of his father
without holding the same opinion of himself (Warshak, 1992 p.163 &167).
In relationships, men were more likely to withdraw from involvement. A significant
number of men avoided relationships altogether. The general overtone for the males
was any relationship Im in will dissolve (Wallerstein & Lewis, 2004).
Daughters of divorced parents, on the other hand, have been shown to deal with the
absence of a father figure by searching for male companions; they have been shown to
exhibit higher levels of promiscuity and have more relationships than males from
divorced families. Reduced paternal contact is one of the strongest protracted effects of
parental divorce during childhood, especially for daughters (Cooney, 1994).
Long-Term Impact of Divorce
Researchers of children of divorce are beginning to examine the far reaching
legacy of divorce in our society. Parental divorce impacts detrimentally on the capacity to
love and be loved within a lasting, committed relationship (Wallerstein & Lewis, 2004).
Literature regarding the long term effects of divorce on adult children shows that there is
 a lower sense of well-being and overall quality of life as well as relationship problems for
those who experience the divorce of their parents as children (Christensen & Brooks,
2001). Many researchers in the field of marriage and family counseling have found that
adults raised in divorced families suffer from a deficit in social skills and had special
problems in handling conflicts within their own marriage (Amato, 2000).
According to Zill, Morrison and Coiro (1993), children from divorced families have
a higher incident of emotional distress or problem behaviors. It is difficult to determine if
this was because of stress placed on the family unit during divorce, distraction from
academic school work, or lack of attention and parental involvement was the basis of
these disorders.
Evidence is present to demonstrate children who were younger at the time of their
parents divorce or from families with higher parental conflict were more likely to score
lower on measurements of trust and to have high marital conflict themselves (Westervelt
& Vandenberg, 1997). Childhood is a key developmental period, thus when parents
divorce early in a childs life the child is likely to miss out on important development
models. Furthermore, the younger a child was at the time of his or her parents divorce,
the more vulnerable a child may be to form distorted beliefs about the nature of his or
her parents divorce. Many children may tend to manifest feelings of guilt and
responsibility for the absence of a parent due to divorce.
Effects on Adult Relationships
Many studies show that family conflict was typically a strong precursor to divorce and
lead children from divorced families to rate their relationships as having greater family
conflict. Those from intact families reported more cohesion, expressiveness, sociability,
and idealization and less conflict than those from divorced families. However, coming
from a divorced family did not affect young adults self esteem, fear of intimacy, or
relationship satisfaction, but it did affect fears and expectations for divorce (Kirk, 2002).
In-depth studies strongly indicate that the attitudes surrounding marriage and success in
marriage is transmitted between generations in divorced families. Men and women from
divorced families tend to score significantly lower on several measures of psychological
well-being and more likely to be divorced themselves (Franklin, Janoff-Bulman, &
Roberts; 1990). This trend has the potential to have social impact on our culture
because the evidence suggests that adult children of divorce have relationship problems
that lead to divorce in their marriages as well, which could lead to a perpetual cycle of
this phenomenon.
Perhaps the greatest problem associated with divorce is that it does appear to be a
cyclical phenomenon. An estimated 40% to 50% of children born in the U.S. in the
1980s experienced parental divorce (Fine, Moreland, & Schwebel, 1983). Women who
experience parental divorce have a 60% higher divorce rate than their counterparts;
while men whose parents divorced have a 35% higher rate of divorce than men whose
parents remained married (Glen & Shelton, 1983). It seems clear that people from
divorced families are more likely to be divorced themselves and therefore convey the
impression that marital dissolution is more acceptable. Amato (1987) states that adult
children of divorce feel more pessimistic about their chances of life-long marriage and
evaluate divorce less negatively than do other young adults.
Students experiencing post-divorce conflict were more likely to have engaged in
premarital sexual intercourse, their satisfaction with their current relationship was lower,
and they showed a decline in the parent-child relationship. These adult children of
divorce also expressed more difficulty in finding people with whom they could establish
relationships (Morris & West, 2001).
Judith Wallerstein (2004) has been one of the leading researchers on the phenomenon
of divorce and its impact on adult relationships. Her 25 year longevity study seems to
strongly indicate that the attitudes surrounding marriage and success in marriage is
transmitted between generations in divorced families. Interestingly, individuals from the
Wallerstein study did not indicate feelings of fear of having successful relationships, but
felt less optimistic about their chances of having a successful marriage. This study was
one of the most in-depth studies ever conducted on adult children of divorce, and
illustrates how adult children of divorce have been impacted by the choices of their
parents.