ALL KILLER - LIVE

by

Stefan Abingdon
Ashley Horne
Andrew Wakely
Paul Neafcy

Matthew Harvey | WME

MHarvey@wmeentertainment.com
+44 208 929 8419
100 New Oxford Street
London, WC1A 1HB
BLACK.

PSYCHOANALYSIS RIFF PLAYS - CUT OUT

SOUND OF SOMEONE HYPERVENTILATING - PANIC BREATHS

VOICE
Its okay. Calm down. Youre safe
now.

PROJECTION ON:

INTERROGATION

SUMMER - sitting at a table - BLOOD SMEARED ON HER FACE and

clothes. Shes trembling - disturbed... She slowly gets
herself together - sips a cup of water -

VOICE
How much do you remember?

SUMMER
I remember everything... The
singing, the dancing... the blood.
The horror.

VOICE
How did it all begin?

SUMMER looks up -

SUMMER
The same way it ended. With a
song...

SONG: LIFE

PROJECTION OFF -

SPOTLIGHT FINDS:

STEF

Sitting at a piano - He plays as if in some intimate venue -

Sings earnestly:

STEF
Life, your life fucking sucks
Every minute is pointless
Youre going to die

Stefs phone receives a notification in time with the music,

he looks over and sighs...
 2.

STEF (CONTD)
Likes, were living for likes
Little hearts on our pictures
Of food and of cats

BANG BANG BANG

LIGHTS UP - REVEAL:

STEFS ROOM

STEF IS SITTING IN HIS BEDROOM - pokey little set - single

bed - band posters on the wall -

DAD (O.S.)
Sounding good, Son.

STEF
Whatever.

DAD
Just like that Ed Sheer-

STEF SLAMS HIS HANDS ON THE PIANO - SUDDEN RAGE

STEF
STOP SAYING MY SONGS SOUND LIKE ED
SHEERAN! THAT IS NOT A COMPLIMENT!

DAD (O.S.)
Alright! Just make sure you eat
something before your audition!

STEF
I told you, Im a serious musician!
Im not doing amateur dramatics in
the village hall!

DAD (O.S.)
Ive left your houmous and pitta
outside the door.

STEF
SHUT UP, DAD!
(beat)
Is it lightly toasted?

DAD (O.S.)
I just warmed it up in the
microwave.

STEF - OFFENDED.

STEF
MICROWAVE PITTA?
(sings)
(MORE)
 3.

STEF (CONT'D)
I, I sing songs in my room
Yeah I got a purpose for living
But the world isnt giving me
What I deserve

AS HE PLAYS - THE LIGHTS DIM - LEAVING JUST THE SPOTLIGHT ON

STEF AS HE SEEMS TO GO DARK HIMSELF...

STEF (CONTD)
Why the fuck cant they see
All the talent that I bleed
They should be on their knees
With a crippling disease...

TURNING POINT - STEF SEEMS DETERMINED

STEF (CONTD)
Ill show em.

STEF STARTS PACKING -

CHORUS
Your life, life fucking sucks
Your life, life fucking sucks
Your life, life fucking sucks
Your life, life fucking sucks x2

STEF
(sings)
Time, time isnt your friend
You get old and get fatter, n still
live with your Dad.
At 28
Life, my life fucking sucks
But Im gonna show them...
(beat)
Ed Sheerans a cunt

STEF STEPS OUT OF HIS BEDROOM DOOR AND WE ARE IMMEDIATELY

MAGICALLY TRANSPORTED TO:

STAGE

We dive straight into the audition - other hopefuls singing -

THE CHORUS DANCING OUT ONTO STAGE -

PROJECTION:

THE BEA FLATS - AUDITIONS IN PROGRESS

THEYRE SINGING A MEDLEY - its a frantic mess of competing

singers -

Led by BEA - GLAMOROUS LEADING LADY/GROUP LEADER - confident,

flirtatious, superficial, intense.
 4.

ITS A MASH-UP OF COMMERCIAL POP SONGS WHICH ENDS ON SHAPE

OF YOU BY ED SHEERAN -

STEF ENTERS - HEARS ED SHEERAN - is disgusted.

They finish the song - jazz hands.

STEF
Oh, fuck off.

Stef sighs - goes to leave...

BEA
(sung)
Hey, think you can do better new
guy?

STEF
Yeah, actually--

BEA CLEARS HER THROAT - POINTS -

PING - a SIGN APPEARS (PROJECTION):

'NO SPEAKING'

STEF (CONTD)
That definitely wasnt there a
minute ago.

BEA COUGHS AGAIN -

PING - ANOTHER SIGN APPEARS BELOW:

'ONLY SINGING'.

Stef looks confused then starts to communicate in song.

SONG: Spotlight (Prelude)

He points out Beas NAME BADGE -

STEF (CONTD)
(sung)
Bea. I just don't think it's for me
- the whole Ed Sheeran covers
thing.

BEA
(sung)
What are you suggesting? Original
songs?

GUY
(sung)
Yeah think before you speak, you
stinking sack of cat piss.
 5.

ENSEMBLE
(sung in harmony)
Cat pissssssss.

BEA
(sung)
If you don't sing songs people know
then youre never gonna get the
part.

SUMMER
(sung)
Plus, writing your own songs
takes some sort of talent -
what do we know about that?

BEA ENSEMBLE
(sung) (sung in harmony)
We're only actors! We're only actors!

STEF
(sung)
Well you might not know it yet, but
you been doing it this whole
time...

Stef walks towards the piano and starts playing 'Spotlight'

and singing the melody in la's.

BEA
(sung)
Hey! - Who wrote that?

STEF
(sung)
Me! I did!

SUMMER ENSEMBLE
(sung) (sung in harmony)
Yeah, but who originally Yeah, but who originally
wrote it? wrote it?

STEF
(sung)
I did, I just came up with it right
now.

A spotlight switches on Stef.

BEA
(sung)
Erm! What are you doing? Keep the
light on me.

STEF
(sung developing melody)
Keep the light on me...
Keep the light, on me...
 6.

DRU
(sung very low)
Don't ever turn it off.

BEA, SUMMER AND GUY join in singing sickly sweet harmonies.

STEF
(sung)
We'll leave the others
standing in the dark, keep
the light on me.
ENSEMBLE
(sung)
We'll leave the others
standing in the dark, keep
the light on me.

ENSEMBLE (CONTD)
(sung)
Keep the light on me!
Keep the light on me!
We'll leave the others standing in
the dark, keep the light on me!

Suddenly the door swings open and the group fall silent. Ash
skateboards in.

STEF
(sung)
Whos Tony Hawk?

Stef starts playing drone notes on the piano.

SUMMER ENSEMBLE
(sung) (sung in harmony)
That's Ash Green That's Ash Green!

SUMMER
(sung)
10 minutes late to everything,
drinks full fat coke and never
safely ejects his USB stick - the
most rebellious amateur actor!

Ash skates over to Stef.

ASH ENSEMBLE
(sung) (sung)
Did you ask who I am? I'm Worst! Fucking! Nightmare.
your worst fucking nightmare.

STEF
(sung)
I don't normally have nightmares
about skinny guys with bad breath
wearing their dad's leather jacket.

Stef and Ash square up.

BEA
(sung)
Settle down! As the creative
director...
(MORE)
 7.

BEA (CONT'D)
you guys are working for me! So do
what I say, Ill be taking the
first solo, Stef you--

ASH
(sung)
Woh - if anybody's doing a solo
it's going to be ME!!!

Ash breaks into proper song... kicking off the solos

ASH (CONTD)
(sung)
When I step into the spotlight
I got that *POW!*
Thatll take your breath away!!

BEA
(sung)
I come alive in the spotlight
So you better take a selfie
Im the next Beyonce!

Dru jumps into the spotlight and throws a power pose.

DRU
(sung)
When I jump into the spotlight
You know I'm only gonna break your
heart babe.

BEA
(spoken)
No!

DRU STEPS OUT OF THE SPOTLIGHT.

GUY
(sung)
Im on fire in the spotlight

SUMMER
(sung)
Shining brighter than the sun
You better bring your best pair of
shades!

The performance has amped up another level.

ENSEMBLE
(sung)
KEEP THE LIGHT ON ME
(JUST KEEP THE LIGHT ON)
KEEP THE LIGHT ON ME
(DON'T EVER TURN IT OFF)
WE'LL LEAVE THE OTHERS
STANDING IN THE DARK
KEEP THE LIGHT ON ME
 8.

During the chorus the auditionees are performing a routine,

Dru cant keep up and keeps bashing into people and getting
moves wrong

The performers move towards the back of the stage in a

choreographed movement.

On to the stage, dressed in a dazzlingly awful white outfit,

enters STEF. Despite his comments at the beginning, he's
clearly not above this after all. He is giving it absolutely
everything.

STEF
(rapping)
HI IM STEF A QUADRUPLE THREAT
SINGER, DANCER, ACTOR... VET

PROJECTION: IMAGE OF STEF WITH HIS HAND UP A COW

STEF (CONTD)
(rapping)
SAY 'BYE-BYE' TO THE DISNEY CLUB
'COS I'M DROPPING SICK LYRICS ON A
DUBSTEP WUB
HERE I GO ON A VOCAL RUN
BURNING UP LIKE IM ON THE SUN
PIROUETTE, SPLIT LEAP JUMP

Stef performs a pirouette, followed by a split leap jump.

STEF (CONTD)
(sung)
GONNA GO HIGHER CAUSE IM NEARLY
DONE LIKE...
YEAAH!

Ash, desperate to reclaim the limelight, steps in front of

Stef.

ASH
(sung)
YEAAAHH!!

Guy jumps in front of Ash.

GUY
YEAAAHH!

Summer jumps in front of Guy.

SUMMER
YEAAAH!

Dru jumps in front of Summer.

DRU
(low note)
YEAH.
 9.

Bea shoves Dru out of the way and goes on a ludicrously self-
indulgent vocal run.

BEA
(sings)
YEAH-E-E-E-E-EAH!!!
(spoken)
Power grab, freeze!

Bea does a power grab and freezes, in an outrageous display

of self-belief.

EVERYONE FREEZES - then breaks - looking around like How was

that? -

Bea moves to front of stage -

BEA (CONTD)
Thank you all so much for coming.
Well be in touch.

Stef straightens himself out - checks his hair etc - just

about to step up and talk to BEA -

ASH skates in - puts an arm around Bea - throwing threatening

looks at Stef...

ASH
(to Bea)
Ready babe?

Bea and Ash exit - Bea walking, Ash skateboarding.

DRU collars Stef - awkward...

DRU
(to Stef)
You were really great out there.

STEF
Yeah?

DRU
Yeah, those dubstep wubs were
really relevant.

STEF
Thanks, man.

Awkward pause.

DRU
Anything you want to say to me?

STEF
Sorry?
 10.

DRU
About my performance? Anything you
wanna say?

STEF
Oh... well...

DRU
You can be honest.

STEF
Really?

DRU
Yeah, I can take it.

STEF
Are you sure?

DRU
See that?
(points to his arm)
Thick skin.

STEF
(shrug)
Okay.

As Stef speaks - Dru looks more and more hurt, but tries to
play it cool.

STEF (CONTD)
It was fucking awful. Like
seriously bad. Like not even like
entertainingly bad, you know? Like
offensively bad. Like, it upset me.
Morally. You know, I lost my dog
when I was a kid. We found him
about six months later under the
garage. Hed just crawled in there
and died. The smell was unbearable.
Your performance was honestly a
more traumatic life event for me
than that. I mean, Im quite
depressed, you know, in my life...
and that nearly pushed me over the
edge. Like if Id had a sharp
object to hand...
(Stef mimes cutting his
own throat)
You know?

Dru takes a moment to absorb this.

DRU
(hurt)
Okay. Erm. Any suggestions?
 11.

STEF
(laughing)
Yeah, stop!

Dru nods, thoughtful.

DRU
Okay.

Dru - fighting tears - leaves the stage -

STEF
You said I could be honest.

BLACKOUT

VOID

ONE BY ONE THE CAST SING A REPEATING MELODY -

EACH ONE CONTINUES WITH THE NEXT ONE JOINING -

THEY ARE ILLUMINATED BY A TORCH -

SONG: THE WORST PART IS THE WAITING

BEA
(sung)
Waiting, the waiting
The worst part is the waiting

GUY
(sung)
When will they call?

SUMMER
(sung)
I hope I get it

ASH
(sung)
All my life
Been waiting for this moment

STEF
(sung)
Im better than this!

Finally Dru joins the gang, totally out of time and out of
tune -

He is looking round at everyone else, trying to find the beat

-
 12.

DRU
(sung)
When-will-the-phone-ring-its-gonna-
ring-soon-hoping-that-it-ring-rings
etc

PHONE RINGS -

ALL
HELLO?!

BEA
(sung)
WELL DONE YOU GOT IT!

ALL
YAY!

BEA
(sung)
You really got it!

ASH
(sung)
What part did I get Bea?

ALL
YEAH TELL US! TELL US! TELL US!

BEA
(sung)
Our leading man is Ash!

ASH
WOO!

BEA
(sung)
Our leading lady is me

Bea reacts as if shes on the phone to herself

BEA (CONTD)
YES!!!
(sung)
And Summer?

SUMMER
YEAH?!

BEA
(sung)
YOU GET TO BE MY COVER!

SUMMER
(offended)
...oh...
 13.

BEA
(sung)
And Stef and Guy?!

STEF & GUY

UH HUH?!

BEA
(sung)
Youll be our chorus line!

Stef looks pissed off

BEA (CONTD)
(sung)
See you at rehearsals!

Everybodys torches switch off, expect Drus -

He is standing in the void alone -

DRU
Errrm... Bea? What about me?

BLACKOUT -

Lights up: REVEAL THE CAST IN FORMATION, BACKS TO THE

AUDIENCE -

The projector reads REHEARSALS -

SONG: Spotlight (Keep The Light On Me)

The on-stage performance kicks into action, all high energy

ASH
(spoken)
OK! Lets go!

Ash takes centre-stage. Hes full of repulsive arrogant

swagger

ASH (CONTD)
(sung)
When I step into the spotlight
You can tell that I was born to do
this
People stop and say whos that
guy?

Stef and Guy pop out either side of Ash, Guy is full of
energy and Stef is completely miserable

STEF & GUY

(sung)
Whos that guy?
 14.

ASH
(sung)
Hes so smooth, hes so handsome
He could never get a regular job

Bea steps in front of Ash, aggressively seizing the centre

stage and doing little to hide how much she relishes this.

BEA STEF & GUY

(sung) (sung in harmony)
I come alive in the spotlight Spotlight!

Summer is following Bea, copying her moves, she keeps getting

in the way, Bea shoves her back

BEA
(sung)
Shining brighter than the norms
behind me

Bea gestures dismissively to the rest of the performers.

BEA (CONTD) STEF & GUY

(sung) (sung)
Star power and my games SO TIGHT!
tight!

Ash attempts to move alongside Bea to share centre stage, but

she shifts her weight onto the other leg, barging Ash out of
her light.

BEA
(sung)
Got no time for romancing
Cause Im too busy dancing!

Unseen until this point, Dru walks on stage and sets up a

table and places a small lighting desk on it

DRU
(sung)
I just operate the spotlight
You just slide it with this fader
here

Dru sadly indicates the button on his lighting desk.

DRU (CONTD)
(now spoken)
I also do props, set dressing,
sound cues, I make the tea, the
other day I chased a pigeon out of
the lobby. Lots of stuff you
probably wouldnt notice but its
actually pretty integral to how the
show runs with all the different -

Dru is interrupted by the chorus of the song.

 15.

The performers clap and bounce around the front of stage,

attempting to amp up the crowd.

BEA
(to the audience)
Everybody!

ENSEMBLE
KEEP THE LIGHT ON ME
KEEP THE LIGHT ON ME
WE'LL LEAVE THE OTHERS STANDING IN
THE DARK
KEEP THE LIGHT ON ME

The group strike their final pose. Freeze.

LIGHTS UP:

BEA
Well done everyone. Take five.

Everyone sitting down - stretching out - relaxing - opening

drinks... Snacking etc. Ash is pumping iron at the back. Guy
is stretching to the side of stage -

Bea is lounging on a couch - filing her nails. Stef gives her

a look... Walks to centre stage -

Stef points out Summers drink -

STEF
Oh, bad for your vocal chords.

Summer pretends to be interested

STEF (CONTD)
Sprites the worst. Cos of the
amount of syrups... You know what
you wanna try - Honey and warm
water with a little bit of
ginger...

Stef keeps looking to Bea for approval. She is vaguely

interested.

Stef - starts walking the stage -

STEF (CONTD)
Ahh... the actors life... up
stage, down stage, left stage,
right stage... the squeak of the
floorboards. The sound of
applause...
(hold here - if theres
applause, just carry on
to)
Who knows what adventures lie
ahead.
(MORE)
 16.

STEF (CONTD)
(ALT: if theres silence)
Or respectful, awed silence.
(ALT: if theres boos)
Or lacklustre ghosts.
(ALT: if theres heckles)
Or random nobheads shouting.

Stef moves to centre stage - MONOLOGUE -

STEF (CONTD)
Of course musics always been my
true love. I was singing and
dancing before I could talk. But
what IS music, really?

GUY joins in - casual and conversational - as if making small

talk with an acquaintance -

STEF (CONTD) GUY

Its an emotion, its love,
its hate, its life. Its a life line. I stayed in
everything.
(pause)
Music can bring us together,
break us down.
(pause)
The right song, at the right
time, can change the world.
Life is my stage and the
world is my instrument...
Well, for me its always been
foster homes as a kid. When
things got bad I could just
put phones on and go to a
better place. Made a few
mistakes in my teens. Ended
up in Felton. In my twenties
did a two year stretch for
arson. Absolutely addicted to
burning shit down. An am dram
troupe came to the prison.
Did Billy Elliott. I felt
like Id finally woken up. I
realised what Id been
missing. Havent set fire to
anything since. Musical
theatre literally saved my
life. And the lives of
hundreds of potential burns
victims.

Stef looking at Guy as he finishes up - Do you mind?

GUY (CONTD)
(realising)
Oh... You were doing a monologue
werent you? Fucking ell. Classic
Guy! Motormouth over here. Somebody
shut him up!
(Guy mimes shooting
himself)
If hes not burning people alive
hes only fucking talking their ear
off! Or biting their ear off!
(he makes dog noises for a
long time)
Anyway, on you go, mate. Floors
yours.
(MORE)
 17.

GUY (CONTD)
(walking away)
Anyone got a light?

Guy steps back -

STEF
(anyway)
As I was saying... The world is my
stage and life is my instrument...

STEF (CONTD)
(in rhythm to the beat)
I can sample anything
It doesn't matter what
Go on throw it at me
Come on - show me what you got.

He sticks the mic in Summers face - a moment of panic -

SUMMER
Chlamydia! Oops.

STEF
Well, thats on there now.

We hear 'Chlamydia' on loop.

He does the same to Dru -

DRU
Erm.

STEF
BETTER! Less revealing.

Stef samples what they say then taps Summers sprite bottle
to make the main beat... then ruins their lunch by stomping
on crisps, punching their flan, dropping a penny in their
drinks etc.

SONG: Beat Myself Off

Over the following music, the group gradually start to like

it....

STEF (CONTD)
(sung)
I can take the beat of your
heartbeat
And put it on loop
Sample the sound of you eating
fruit
Make a drum beat out of a can of
Sprite
Write a hit song on the wheels of a
bike.
 18.

Stef moves around the stage - getting everyone involved

except BEA and Ash...

STEF (CONTD)
(sung)
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Say hello to the new kid on the
block

Stef is starting to draw a crowd

STEF (CONTD)
(sung)
Y'don't need to join in
You just need to watch...
Shut up and let me beat myself off!

Chorus erupts and everything Stef has been sampling so far

turns into an impressive beat.

Projector screen splits into sections all looping. Everybody

dancing and cheering - except ASH...

Bea sees everybody crowding Stef - gets up to take centre

stage -

BEA
(sung)
I can randomly join your song
Without asking permission
I can make my own melody
Scatting ad libs carelessly
Bea, bea, bea, bea!

Bea is confidently taking control of Stef's song, strutting

past him. He follows her as if hypnotised.

BEA (CONTD) STEF

(sung) (sung in harmony)
Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah

BEA
Bea keeps the party going non stop
Y'don't need to join in
You just need to watch
Shut up and let me Bea myself off

As before, the chorus drops with tons of samples Stef has

been collecting, now involving Bea's ad-libs and vocals. She
is riffing the hell out of the chorus, trying to out-do Stef.

The track breaks down whilst Stef starts to rap, the two of
them are starting to dance in unison instead of out-do each
other.

Led by Bea and Stef the whole cast (except Ash) form a conga
line and start walking through the audience
 19.

STEF
(rapping)
I beat all night
I beat all day
I beat myself off when I'm on the
train

Bea is joining in, scatting her own ad libs on top of Stef's

rapping.

STEF (CONTD)
(rapping)
I beat all day
I beat all night
I beat myself off by this girls
side

Stef crouches next to a random girl in the audience and taps

around her -

STEF (CONTD)
(rapping)
I beat this boy

Stef taps on a boys head in the audience

STEF (CONTD)
(rapping)
I beat this girl

Stef taps on another girls head

STEF (CONTD) BEA

(rapping) (sung in harmony)
I beat myself off all over I beat myself off all over
the world! the world!

STEF
(rapping)
I beat on the ceiling

Stef is tapping on the ceiling

STEF (CONTD)
(rapping)
I beat on the floor

Stef is tapping on the floor

STEF (CONT'D) BEA

(rapping) (sung in harmony)
I've been beating myself off I've been beating myself off
since the day I was born!! since the day I was born!!

Bea and Stef end in a final pose panting and laughing, the
ensemble around them - clapping then start to disperse.
 20.

STEF
Wow, I've never met anybody who can
sing like that...

ASH DIVES BETWEEN BEA AND STEF -

ASH
LOOP THIS

Ash does a bizarre dance move -

STEF
Its based on sound, so...

ASH
You cant, can you?

STEF
I dont even know what that is.

ASH
Thats it.

STEF
What the hell is it?

ASH
It is what Ive got, and youve
not.

SUMMER
Chlamydia? Oops.

Ash glares at Summer - she covers her mouth and backs away -

ASH
(to All)
It is a state of mind. Everybody
wants It. Few actually achieve
It.

STEF
How do you know if youve got It?

ASH
You just do. And once you do. They
can never take It away from you.

STEF
Whos they?

Ash ignores Stef and launches into:

SONG: STILL GOT IT

 21.

ASH
(Sung)
They could shoot me in the kneecaps
They could nail me to a cross
They could gouge out both my
eyeballs
They could pummel me with rocks

Everybody looks in awe of Ash, Stef is confused

ASH (CONTD)
(Sung)
They could burn me at the stake
Or they could lash me with a whip
But Id still have... Id still
have it!

Ash strikes a pose. Dru mistakes this for the end of the song
and claps a single clap. The minute he sees nobody else is
clapping he awkwardly stops.

STEF
I mean Im still not any clearer on
wh-

Music starts up -

ASH
(Sung)
I could have a hole in my head
But I... still got it
Arrested by the feds
But I... still got it
My friend could be dead
But I... yeah I still got it

Everybody expect Stef is starting to follow Ash around the

stage

Ash points at the other cast members in turn - they react to

the horrible things he says -

ASH (CONTD)
(sung)
You could have a butthole that
bleeds
But you... still got it
A genital disease
But you... still got it
Your girlfriends a cheat
But you... yeah you still got it

Ash nudges Stef in the ribs playfully

ASH (CONTD)
BUT NOT HER! And its not just
performers Stef...
(MORE)
 22.

ASH (CONTD)
everybody lets give him a brief
history of all the biggest IT-
ERS!

BEA
(sung)
Martin Luther King!

As each person is mentioned their picture appears on the

projector

ASH
(sung)
Hes got it!

GUY
(sung)
Charles Darwin!

ASH
(sung)
Hes got it!

DRU
(shouted)
THE GUY THAT DID THAT... THING!

A picture of somebody relevant flashes up, this will change

throughout the run -

ASH
(sung)
Yeah hes got it
(patronising)
Well done Dru!

SUMMER
(sung)
Anne Frank!

ASH
(sung)
Shes got it!

GUY
(sung)
Vincent Van Gogh!

ASH
(sung)
Hes got it!

Stef tries to ruin the fun

STEF
(shouted)
POL POT?!
 23.

A picture of Pol Pot flashes up on the screen

ASH
PAUL POTTS?!

The picture is replaced by Paul Potts, winner of Britains

Got Talent

ASH (CONTD)
YEAH OF COURSE HES GOT IT STEF!!!

STEF
So basically what youre saying is
some of the most influential people
in history (and a psychotic
dictator) have it... and you

ASH
Well nooooo... because most people
in this room have it too... Stef

STEF
Im already sensing its gonna be
everyone but me

Everybody forms a circle and one by one the cast leap in the
centre starting with Bea. She performs a tap step.

ASH
(sung)
SHES GOT IT!

Guy does a tap step

ASH (CONTD)
(sung)
HES GOT IT!

Stef does a tap step

ASH (CONTD)
(sung)
Nah, you aint got it
(patronising)
Try again though!

Summer sings an ad lib

ASH (CONTD)
(sung)
SHES GOT IT!

Dru sings an ad lib... badly

ASH (CONTD)
(sung)
HES GOT IT!
 24.

Stef sings an ad lib better than Dru

ASH (CONTD)
(sung)
Nah, you aint got it

STEF
OH COME ON!!! HOW DOES HE HAVE
IT?!

Stef gestures towards Dru... Dru leaves, again deflated -

The tempo suddenly picks up and Ash leads a mad routine with
the others in tow

ASH
(sung)
They could shoot me in the kneecaps
They could nail me to a cross
They could gouge out both my
eyeballs
They could pummel me with rocks
They could burn me at the stake
Or they could lash me with a whip
But Id still have... Id still
have...

Ash exits the stage and the cast follow him with their gaze,
hes climbing up to the top of the theatre (out of sight from
the audience)

ENSEMBLE
Hed still have it x12

Music suddenly stops

ASH (O.S.)
Ok everyone, its very high up
here!

Everybody is gathered round looking up

GUY
Youve got nothing to worry about
Ash!!!!

SUMMER
Yeah!! Cause youve got It!!

ASH (O.S.)
Okay... here I come...

THE LIGHTS GO OUT

BLACKOUT

SCREAM - CRUNCH
 25.

RED STROBE LIGHT FLASHING:

SHRIEKING HORROR SOUNDTRACK -

ASH LYING ON THE FLOOR - MOUTH BLOODY - BOTH LEGS BROKEN -

THEYRE BENT IN SEVERAL PLACES - RIDICULOUS ANGLES...

After a moment Ash notices his legs -

ASH (CONTD)
Oh God. MY LEGS! MY BEAUTIFUL LEGS!

BEA PUKES IN A BIN -

Ash sees Stef -

ASH (CONTD)
YOU! YOU DID THIS! YOU MESSED WITH
THE LIGHTS SO I COULDNT POP THE
LANDING! You were jealous of my
It! You wanted my It! You may
take my legs but youll never take
my It!

STEF
(pointing to Dru)
Hes on lights.

DRU
(eating)
I was getting a bagel.

Ash tries to stand up and cant - screaming in agony -

BEA
This is awful.
(beat)
Were going to have to recast.

ASH
NO! I can still do it! Ive still
got It! STICK SOME TAP SHOES ON!
THEYLL NEVER KNOW!

STEF
I think you need to take your It
to the hospital...

ASH
THE SHOW MIGHT GO ON!

The music starts up again but its out of tune and speeding
up as Ashs adrenaline pushes him through one final chorus.

ASH (CONTD)
(sung)
I could have a hole in my head
But I...
(MORE)
 26.

ASH (CONTD)
still got it
Arrested by the feds
But I... still got it

Nobody is joining in... just watching in shock

ASH (CONTD)
(sung)
I mashed up my legs
But I... yeah I still got it
(desperate)
COME ON EVERYONE!!!

The ensemble watch in horror

ASH (CONTD)
(sung)
I could have a butthole that bleeds
But I... still got it
A genital disease
But I... still got it
My girlfriends a cheat
But I... yeah I still got it!

ASH goes faster and faster until he collapses and is pushed

offstage on his skateboard.

Once Ash is gone -

BEA
We need a new leading man. I think
we can all agree theres only one
man for the job...

Dru steps forward, ready to seize his moment...

BEA (CONTD)
Stef. Its your moment.

Dru steps back.

Stef steps forward - elated -

STEF
Looks like Ive got it after all.

BLACKOUT

LIGHTS UP:

DRESSING ROOM

ASH HOBBLES INTO HIS DRESSING ROOM ON CRUTCHES - CASTS ON HIS

LEGS - A HUNCH ON HIS BACK - HES A DISFIGURED MONSTER.

SONG: ASHS LAMENT

 27.

ASH
(sung)
Im a mess, Im a monster
Look what theyve done to me

He looks at himself in the mirror -

ASH (CONTD)
(sung)
I had everything going
The star of the show
Now I look like Sloth fucked
Quasimodo
Due to NHS cutbacks
They transferred me... to a vet
They fixed both my legs
Did all they could do
And for no reason they neutered me
too

He starts looking more positive, addressing the audience

ASH (CONTD)
(sung)
But that helped me realize
The meaning of life
Were desperate for fame
And we live to be liked
So blinded by image, were barely
alive
They can curse me with swear words
I may bleed when I pee
They took my ballsack

Ash points one of his crutches to the sky

ASH (CONTD)
(sung)
But they wont take away me!!!

The music stops -

Bea walks across the stage, Ash spots her

ASH (CONTD)
HEY BEA!!!

She turns and sees Ash, she looks like shes going to vomit
but swallows it

BEA
Wow! You look... good

ASH
AND I FEEL IT TOO! Bea, this
experience has been amazing... Ive
discovered the meaning of life!
 28.

BEA
Oh... cool, I cant wait to hear
it. Listen, Ash, Ill be back in a
second... Ive just gotta...

Bea runs offstage

ASH
(to himself)
...ok!

We hear O.S Bea vomits, Ash can hear too... the following
dialogue plays out O.S, but like Ash we hear everything

STEF (O.S.)
Awww, are you okay?

BEA (O.S.)
Oh my god, Stef... I just ran into
Ash, he looks HORRIFIC!

Ash is still standing on stage, listening and looking awkward

STEF (O.S.)
Well I hope that hasnt put you off
having sexual intercourse with the
leading man...

BEA (O.S.)
AS IF!!! Put it inside me...

We hear graphic noises, Ash is not sure what to do with

himself... waiting

BEA (O.S.) (CONTD)

OH STEF, BABY, YOUR DICK IS SO MUCH
BIGGER THAN ASHS INCY WINCY PENIS

More sex noises -

BEA (O.S.) (CONTD)

AND WERE STILL GOING... HE NEVER
LASTED THIS LONG

Climaxing -

And it stops -

BEA (O.S.) (CONTD)

Ok... Im gonna go back in to see
Ash, give it about twenty seconds
then follow me in and give me an
excuse to leave

STEF (O.S.)
Course!

We hear them kiss -

 29.

Bea walks back on stage, Ash is still standing there,

uncomfortable

BEA
Sorry about that Ash! What were you
saying...?

ASH
OH... yeah, well...

Ash pulls himself together

ASH (CONTD)
(spoken)
I realized the meaning of life
Were desperate for fame
And we live to be liked
So blinded by image, were barely
alive
They can curse me with swear words
I may bleed when I pee
They took my ballsack
But they wont take away... me!

He strikes a pose -

Bea stares at him -

BEA
What a strange poem... did you
write that?

ASH
(to himself)
Well... it sounded better with the
music

Stef enters, he surveys the room, clearly seeing Bea but

pretending he doesnt -

STEF
HEY ASH... you havent seen Bea
have-

He then sees her -

STEF (CONTD)
OH... HEY BEA!

BEA
STEF!

STEF
Sorry to interrupt, ummm, Bea...
they errr, want all the vocalists
with solos on stage
(to Ash)
I dont think theyll need you!
 30.

He grabs Bea by the hand and pulls her out the room -

We hear the two of them giggling as they walk offstage -

The chords from Ashs lament pick back up -

ASH
(sung)
They can curse me with swear words
I may bleed when I pee
They took my ballsack
But they wont take away me

Ash holds the final note -

Dramatic and tense drones sound below him, everything gets a

bit dark -

ASH (CONTD)
(sung)
ALSO IM GOING TO KILL STEF!

The music does a final stab -

BLACKOUT

LIGHTS UP:

MONTAGE INSTRUMENTAL

(Transitions for this sequence happen around Stef - hes on

stage the whole time - the only constant moving through the
sequence as if were seeing a whirlwind of time from his
perspective. All the while Ash is trying to keep up on his
crutches, glaring at Stef...)

TIME IS PASSING - PROJECTION:

OPENING NIGHT IN

TWO MONTHS

Stef rehearsing a fight sequence with Guy - Balletic -

Bea watching, encouraging, demonstrating -

OPENING NIGHT IN

SIX WEEKS

A table for two - Bea sits - Stef joins her - they clink
champagne glasses - Stefs phone rings - he gets up -

OPENING NIGHT IN

ONE MONTH
 31.

Stef answers the phone -

DAD
(on phone)
Im so proud of you son--

STEF
(to phone)
SHUT UP DAD! IM BUSY!

Stef hangs up - IS SUDDENLY LIFTED UP IN A CRUCIFIX POSE BY

THE REST OF THE COMPANY -

OPENING NIGHT IN

TWO WEEKS

- AND PLACED CENTRE STAGE TO JOIN IN A DANCE ROUTINE -

TWIRLING BEA AROUND -

He spins Bea and holds her in a final pose -

OPENING NIGHT IN

ONE WEEK

The ENSEMBLE APPLAUDS STEF IN TIME WITH THE MUSIC - in a

circle around him - He takes his bows - hes loving it.

OPENING NIGHT

TOMORROW

The song winds down as Stef says goodnight to the various

members of the cast...

SUMMER
(to Stef)
Youre gonna be so awesome
tomorrow, Stef!

STEF
Thanks, Summer.

Summer exits.

GUY
Youre gonna be on fire! I mean...
You know.

STEF
I hear you Guy.

Guy exits.

DRU
Ill keep the light on you.
 32.

STEF
(finger guns)
You better, Dru!

Dru exits.

ASH
(grudgingly)
Good luck.

STEF
(moment of humility)
Thanks, Ash.

Ash hobbles off.

BEA
Think youve got it, Beat Boy?

STEF
Guess well find out tomorrow, Bea
Girl.

BEA
You coming?

STEF
Ill catch you up.

BEA
Savoring the moment? Dont stay too
late!

They kiss - Bea exits. Stef is left in a happy daze. He looks

out to the audience... elated...

SONG: LIFE (REPRISE)

STEF
Life, my life fucking rules
Every minute is awesome,
I hope I dont die.

SUDDENLY lights start flickering - STRANGE SOUNDS...

STEF (CONTD)
I hope I dont die.

BLACKOUT

RED LIGHTS STROBING - SLOWLY AND THEN FASTER UNTIL THEYRE

OVERWHELMING...

STEF (CONTD)
(controlled shout)
I HOPE I DONT DIE
 33.

A MASKED KILLER APPROACHES STEF FROM BEHIND WEARING A BLACK

HOODIE AND A HAPPY THEATRICAL MASK, THE KILLER TURNS THE MASK
AROUND AND REVEALS THE SAD THEATRICAL FACE - THE KILLER
BEGINS TO STAB STEF IN A DISTURBING AUDIO-VISUAL ASSAULT -
STABBING HIM UP IN TIME TO AN ATONAL HORROR SCORE AND
SHRIEKING HORROR MOVIE SOUND EFFECTS - THE KILLER TURNS THE
MASK BACK AROUND TO THE HAPPY THEATRICAL FACE

STEF LIES DEAD

THE STROBES SLOW DOWN AGAIN...

THE KILLER DISAPPEARS BETWEEN STROBES.

NORMAL LIGHTS CLICK ON

STAGE

STEF STILL LYING DEAD & BLOODY

A KNIFE IS VERY OBVIOUSLY STICKING OUT HIS BACK

SUMMER ENTERS - yawning and stretching. Shes carrying a

COFFEE - She sips the coffee and DOES A MASSIVE SPIT TAKE -

HAS SHE SEEN THE CORPSE?

SUMMER
Thats hot.

Nope. She takes up a position on stage - looking at her

phone, clutching her coffee.

Summer sips her coffee just as GUY ENTERS -

GUY
HOLY SHIT!

SUMMER DOES ANOTHER MASSIVE SPIT TAKE -

GUY (CONTD)
(to Summer)
Are those new shoes?

He hurries over to Summer. She takes another sip -

ASH ENTERS BEHIND HIM -

ASH SCREAMS LIKE A GIRL -

ASH
ARGGHHHHH!!!

GUY
HOLY SHIT!

SUMMER DOES ANOTHER MASSIVE SPIT TAKE -

 34.

ASH HOLDS UP HIS PHONE -

ASH
(squee)
This cat video is so cute!

BEA IS BEHIND HIM - POINTING AT STEFS BODY -

BEA
WHAT THE FUCK!?

ASH SCREAMS LIKE A GIRL

ASH
ARGGHHHHH!!!

GUY
HOLY SHIT!

SUMMER DOES ANOTHER MASSIVE SPIT TAKE -

BEA
Did nobody see this on the floor?

Bea STOMPS over to Stefs body - reaches down - picks up a

SCRIPT from behind the body -

BEA (CONTD)
These are ten pee a page! Pick up
after yourselves.

Dru has appeared at the side of stage.

DRU
(deadpan)
Maybe they couldnt see it for the
dead body.

EVERYONE FINALLY NOTICES -

BEA
WHAT THE FUCK!?

ASH SCREAMS LIKE A GIRL

ASH
ARGGHHHHH!!!

GUY
HOLY SHIT!

SUMMER DOES A FINAL MASSIVE SPIT-TAKE -

BEA
OH MY GOD! STEF!

She kneels down beside him - feels his pulse -

 35.

BEA (CONTD)
Hes dead.

SUMMER
No!

ASH
Who would do a thing like that?

DRU
How did you not see this?

Bea stands up - looking at Dru -

BEA
Whoever found the body... knew
exactly where to look...

DRU
Hes been there the whole time.

ASH
Has he? How long is the whole time,
Dru?

SUMMER
Yeah, how do you know how long hes
been there?

DRU
Whoa, whoa, seriously?

ASH
Lucky for you a Doctors son is in
the house, cue the music

Ash clicks his fingers

SONG: WHODUNNIT

Ash starts poking and prodding the body to the soundtrack of

ominous swells, he finally looks up at the ensemble and gives
his prognosis.

ASH (CONTD)
(SUNG)
Right! It was a mistake
He swallowed his tongue
And stopped breathing

Ash dusts himself down and starts to exit

ASH (CONTD)
(sung)
No-ones to blame
What a horrible shame
A freak accident happened last
evening
 36.

Dru stops Ash in his tracks by approaching the body

DRU
(sung)
Wait! Lets examine the facts
Theres proof that suggests
Something further

Dru points to the very obvious knife in Stefs back

DRU (CONTD)
(sung)
He was attacked
Theres a knife in his back
Which means that Stef has been
murdered

Everybody gasps out loud

DRU (CONTD)
(sung)
Ash, you did always hate him...

ASH
(sung)
Yeah, but you hated him too
You were jealous of him in the
spotlight
And killing him off was so easy for
you

Bea points to Ash

BEA
(sung)
You said that he broke your legs

Guy joins Bea, trying to back her up

GUY
(sung)
And he was shagging your bitch!

Bea looks offended

Ash gets in Guys face

ASH
(sung)
Well you set fire to stuff!

GUY
(sung)
Come on ash, thats enough!
(admittedly)
But yes... Ive burnt down some
shit!
 37.

Everybody swaps nervous glances

ALL
(sung)
We know its one of us
Question is who can we trust?
WHODUNNIT?

SUMMER
(sung)
This shit is getting creepy

ALL
(sung)
WHODUNNIT?

GUY
(sung)
We werent friends with him
really...

ASH
(sung)
Lets admit were glad hes gone
Stef has sung his final song

BEA
(sung)
Now as sad as this is,
We need to re-cast the lead
Ash is the obvious man for the role
but-

Dru pops his head in the group

DRU
(sung very low)
How about casting me?

Nobody acknowledges him, he fades back

ASH
(sung)
Ill gladly accept

DRU
(sung)
BUT HES GOT TWO BROKEN LEGS!!!

ASH
(sung)
And whys that a problem?

BEA
(sung)
Yeah Dru, cant you see?
Well win awards with a cripple as
lead!!!
 38.

ASH
(sung, to himself)
Lets admit were glad hes gone
Stef has sung his final song

ALL
(sung)
WHODUNNIT?

SUMMER
(sung)
If they find out its murder...

ALL
(sung)
WHODUNNIT?

BEA
(sung)
Our Tony hopes are over!

ASH
(sung)
Lets admit were glad hes gone
Stef has sung his final song

Everybody but Summer picks up Stef and starts carrying him

offstage

ALL (BUT SUMMER)

(sung)
WHODUNNIT?

Summer tries to stop them, helplessly

SUMMER
We need to go to the police!

ALL (BUT SUMMER)

(sung)
WHODUNNIT?

SUMMER
We cant just hide a body!!!

ALL (BUT SUMMER)

(sung)
WHODUNNIT

Bea walks over to Summer and puts her arm around her

BEA
(comforting)
Just until after opening night...

Ash, Dru and Guy join them

 39.

ALL
(sung)
Even if hes dead and gone
We know the show must! Go! On!

BLACKOUT

LIGHTS UP:

DRESSING ROOMS

Ash is getting ready in his dressing room - performing VOCAL

WARMUPS -

ASH
(sung)
Mee-mee-mee-mah-mah-mah-mee

Bea bursts through the door holding flowers -

BEA
Ash! I need to tell you something!

Dru bursts through the door holding flowers identical to

Beas -

DRU
ASH! I need to tell you someth-

Dru sees Bea and her flowers -

DRU (CONTD)
FINE! Ladies first...

Ash acknowledges them, and to the tune of a vocal warm-up

sings -

ASH
(sung)
I am on stage in five!
Why not both tell me at the same
time!

Dru and Bea look at one another and take a deep breath -

SONG: ASHS LAMENT (REPRISE)

BEA
(sung)
Ash, you helped me realize

DRU
(sung)
I know this sudden
 40.

BEA
(sung)
The meaning of life!

DRU
(sung)
Might come as a shock

BEA
(sung)
Were desperate for fame
And we live to be liked

DRU
(sung)
Ive been living a lie Ash
Im into GUYS!

BEA
(sung)
They curse you with swear words

DRU
(sung)
Ive been sending you nudes!

Ash looks to the audience -

ASH
(sheepish)
...no he hasnt...

BEA
(sung)
They took your ballsack

BEA (CONTD) DRU

(sung) (sung in harmony)
But that dont stop me loving But that dont stop me loving
you you

They both stare at Ash in silence, holding their final pose -

Finally, he addresses the two of them, still singing vocal

warm-ups -

ASH
(sung)
Are you both out of your mind?
This is my personal time!!!

He ushers them both out - Slams the door -

ASH (CONTD)
Showtime!

SUDDENLY - THE LIGHTS FLICKER - SPOOKY SOUND EFFECTS -

 41.

RED STROBE LIGHTS AND HORROR NOISES -

THE KILLER - IN HIS HAPPY THEATRICAL MASK APPROACHES ASH FROM

BEHIND - JUST LIKE BEFORE HE SPINS IT ROUND AND REVEALS THE
SAD FACE - HE STABS ASH TO THE SOUND OF ATONAL HORROR MUSIC -
ASH LIES LIFELESS ON THE STAGE

THE KILLER WALKS TO THE FRONT OF THE STAGE -

AND REMOVES HIS MASK.

Lights return to normal.

ITS DRU.

ASH (CONTD)
(sung)
Youdunnit

Dru turns to Ash who is struggling on the floor

ASH (CONTD)
(sung)
Youdunnit

Ash starts sitting up

DRU
Oh, for fucksa-

SONG: PSYCHOANALYSIS

ASH
(sung)
I knew it was you
I knew it all along

DRU
Oh for gods sakes
Cant we go five fucking minutes
Without someone singing a song?

ASH
(sung)
You wont get away it
Your killing has not gone ignored
Im one step ahead of you-

DRU
Well no youre not
Youre bleeding out on the floor

Ash tries to clamber to his feet unsuccessfully

ASH
(sung)
Youve always been a psycho
A loner, a loser, a mess
(MORE)
 42.

ASH (CONT'D)
With an unquenchable thirst for the
blood of the innocent, always
resulting in death
It was because of your parents

DRU
O...k

ASH
(sung)
Stick with me, Im painting the
picture
Your Dad was abusive,
Your mum was an addict
And you were fucking your sister

DRU
Great, anymore plot predictions
To point out before your last
breath

ASH
(sung)
You were in love with me
And I rejected you
You were a mess, the pain and the
stress
And the heartbreak

DRU
You think youre so great
Columbo has cracked the whole case
Yes I was broken and liked you a
lot
But youre just an actor
Filling the plot with a story that
fits the role you want to play
Alas in a pool of your blood you
shall lay
N why do you care for the bodies I
slay
No fanfare for Ashley, no hip
hooray

ASH
(sung)
But thou shall not get,
The last laugh my man
For this witty thespian boy
Hath doth a plan
For in my back pocket,
Your words hath been saved
Every sin thats admitted
Is here on this tape
And shalt follow you deep to the
depths of thous grave

The music stops.

 43.

DRU
But Ive not admitted anything

ASH
...hmmm?

DRU
You just said every sin thats
admitted and Ive not admitted
anything yet

ASH
...shit

Dru rolls Ash on to his front and removes the tape recorder
from Ashs back pocket, he stomps on it then rolls Ash on to
his back. A dark horror drone soundtracks Drus final
words...

DRU
The reason for killing Ill gladly
admit
But the profile you painted
Is not one that fits
Im not a psycho, nor mad lunatic
I just got the hump
Cause Stef said I was shit

Ash looks disappointed

DRU (CONTD)
I mean its just RUDE isnt it

Dru stabs Ash again. Ash will not die - Dru sets about sawing
his head off

BLACKOUT

LIGHTS UP:

STAGE

BALLET MURDER SEQUENCE

SONG: GIVE EM BLOOD (PRELUDE)

GOTHIC BALLET OF DRU MURDERING THE REMAINING CAST - as each

cast member enters Dru sneaks around in a pantomime fashion
and slits them up. RED STROBES - They flop into chairs and
onto couches in their arrangement for the finale.

ALL THE CAST ARE DEAD

 44.

They are laid out on stage - EVEN SUMMER - in theatrical

positions - jazz hands etc

Ash is just a severed head.

Dru takes centre stage -

DRU
(half-sung)
Ladies and gentlemen
If you could take your seats
In tonights performance
The part of Stef and Ash and Summer
and Guy and Bea shall be played by
me and only me

He turns with his back to the audience then proceeds to

remove his masked killer clothes revealing a sparkly red
suit

SONG: GIVE EM BLOOD

DRU (CONTD)
(sung)
Youve been training your whole
life
To be an actor in a show
But if the crowd dont hear your
story
Then theyre never gonna know
The only way youre ever gonna
Give em what they need
Is give em YES oh yesss
indeeeeeeed

Dru walks over to Guy and mimes his hands playing an

invisible drumkit, Guy magically continues as Dru stops
controlling him, Dru then does the same with Summer on Bass,
Ash on backing vocals and Stef on piano

DRU (CONTD)
(sung)
Give em blood
A celebration
Theres nothing wrong
With a little decapitation
Give em blood
They love the stuff
You know the audience
Can never get enough BLOOD

As Dru dances about the stage he also comically attacks the

dead cast members with choreographed kicks

DRU (CONTD)
(sung)
It doesnt matter if they tell ya
That the show you did was fine
(MORE)
 45.

DRU (CONTD)
Their face might be fucking smiling
But theyre telling you a lie
The only way youre ever gonna
Give em what they need
Is give em YOU!
ITS YOU THEY CAME TO SEE

Drus face drops looking a front row audience member in the

eyes

DRU (CONTD)
...is it fuck

He smiles again, moving and grooving round the stage

DRU (CONTD)
(sung)
Give em blood
A small donation
Dont have to put yourself
On permanent vacation

The bodies start to rise as they join in with Drus haphazard

dance moves, occasionally one of them falls over and Dru
helps them up

DRU (CONTD)
(sung)
Give em blood
Cause they love the stuff
You know the audience
Can never get enough BLOOD

The bodies start to sing backing Dru up

DRU (CONTD) BODIES

(sung)
Like little vampires
Theyll suck every drip
That youre prepared to drop
When will it stop??
(sung)
Like little vampires
Theyll suck every drip
That youre prepared to drop
When will it stop??

BODIES (CONTD)
(sung)
WHEN WILL IT STOP?

DRU
(sung)
It never stops!

BODIES
(sung)
IT NEVER STOPS
 46.

DRU
(sung)
The only way youre ever gonna
Give em what they need
Is give em...

BODIES
YOU!

The bodies point at Dru

DRU
(worried)
...give em me?

The bodies start surrounding Dru

BODIES
GIVE EM YOU

DRU
Give... em... me?

BODIES
YOU!

DRU
ME?!

The bodies start grabbing at Dru until he pushes them off

DRU (CONTD)
NONONONO... nononono...

Dru shakes himself down and walks away from the horde and
tries to change the tone, performing out to the audience
whilst escaping the bodies who are following him like zombies

DRU (CONTD)
(sung)
GIVE EM LOVE!

BODIES
GIVE EM BLOOD!

DRU
(sung)
Loves what they need!!

BODIES
GIVE... EM... BLOOD

DRU
(sung)
But giving bloods a sure fire way
To catch a bad disease!

The bodies back Dru into a corner

 47.

BODIES
(sung)
The only way youre ever
Gonna give em what they need
Is give em blood

As the music comes to a crescendo the bodies grab at Dru

DRU
(scared)
Come on guys...

BODIES
(sung)
Give em blood

DRU
...I DONATE!!

BODIES
Blood! Blood! Blood! Blood!

One of the bodies hands Dru a large knife and as Dru kneels
with the knife the bodies start doing the can-can behind him

BODIES (CONTD)
GIVE EM BLOOOOOOOD

Dru holds the knife to his neck as the bodies drop dead

DRU
...give em blood

IN THE CLIMACTIC MOMENT -

RED STROBES -

DRU SLITS HIS OWN THROAT

HE FALLS TO HIS KNEES

BLACKOUT

SILENCE.

LIGHTS UP:

Everyone back in DEAD positions, as if they never got up...

Dru dead - silence for a moment

SUMMER (V.O.)
They were all dead.

SUMMER SITS BOLT UPRIGHT - GASPING - LOOKING AROUND - PANIC

SUMMER (V.O.)
I didnt know what to do. I ran...
 48.

She backs off stage -

PROJECTION STARTS UP:

SUMMER INTERROGATION -

SUMMER
And I kept running until... I got
here.

Moment of silence - she looks like shes barely keeping it

together...

Pre-recorded applause starts up -

PULL BACK TO REVEAL:

INT. STUDIO

THE PROJECTION IS ON SCREEN ON A CHATSHOW - HOLLY AND PHIL

STYLE - HAVING A GOSSIP

PHIL
Oh sweetie, what did you look like?

HOLLY
In front of that hot copper as
well! I wouldve died!

SUMMER
I nearly did!

Everyone loves it - APPLAUSE AND LAUGHTER -

HOLLY
Bet you still got his number.

SUMMER
No comment.

Summer is really hamming it up for the audience -

AUDIENCE
WOOOOOOOOOOO

PHIL
So, Summer, surviving this
horrifying ordeal has made you a
household name, but our audience
might be surprised to find out
youre also a singer...

SUMMER
Guilty.
 49.

HOLLY
Youve recorded an album...

SUMMER
Its a concept album. Based on my
experiences. It might be going to
the west end...

She crosses her fingers -

PHIL
Do you think we could hear a little
bit of it?

SUMMER
(fake embarrassed)
Oh, I dont know about that -

HOLLY
Come on!
(to Audience)
We want to hear it, right guys? We
want more!

AUDIENCE CHANTS -

AUDIENCE
WE WANT MORE WE WANT MORE WE WANT
MORE WE WANT MORE WE WANT MORE

Shes already got the mic in her hand - STANDS UP - WALKS OFF
SCREEN

AND ONTO THE STAGE

SONG: I DID IT

SUMMER
(sung)
There once was a girl
With tears in her eyes
So innocent and fragile
She kept herself inside
Shed sit at her window
N look up at the sky
And when anything got difficult
Shed runaway and hide
But look at her now, shes singing
a song
Life had her figured out, but life
can get it wrong

Summer inhales a deep breath, really playing up the survivor

role
 50.

SUMMER (CONTD)
(sung)
I did it, I fought the monster in
the dark
I saw the light, survived the night
And lived to wear the scars
I did it, cause if you put your
mind to it
Then you can achieve the impossible
Like I did, I did it

Behind Summer the projector starts showing footage from the

show, but the camera is always on Summer in the background

SUMMER (CONTD)
(sung)
There once was a girl
Stood in the dark
She barely had a speaking role
She barely had a part

On the projector we see Summer in the shadows during a scene

we remember

SUMMER (CONTD)
(sung)
But this story is different
Its not the same
Youve been waiting the whole
musical
For the leading ladys name

On the projector occasionally the footage fragments and

Summer replaces various cast members

SUMMER (CONTD)
(sung)
You thought you had her figured out
But you got it wrong

The projector shows Dru slitting Summers throat but as her

body hits the floor it turns into Dru... dead, with Summer
standing over him

SUMMER (CONTD)
(sung)
I did it

On the projector during the final climatic chorus, we see

Summer massacring the cast one-by-one -

Summer flicks a light switch and Ash crumples on the stage in

a heap -

Summer stabs Stef -

 51.

SUMMER (CONTD)
(sung)
I fought the monster in the dark
I saw the light, survived the night
And lived to wear the scars
I did it, cause if you put your
mind to it
Then you can achieve the impossible

ALL THE CORPSES EMERGE FROM THE SHADOWS BEHIND HER -

Backing her up with ahs and oohs

SUMMER (CONTD)
(sung)
And get away with it
Im fucking invincible
Yeah you can achieve the
unstoppable
And get away with it
I did it

ENSEMBLE
(sung)
SHE KILLED LOADS OF PEOPLE!

SUMMER
(sung)
I did it!

ENSEMBLE
(sung)
SHEDUNNIT!

SUMMER
(sung)
I DID IT!!
I DID IT!!!

Summer holds a triumphant last note as a horror-like drone

swells underneath her

CURTAIN CALL - GIVE EM BLOOD