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 Contents

1 LifeCoachingDefined
2 CoachingAsaProfession
3 WhoHasCoaching?
4 BenefitsofLifeCoaching
5 KeyElementsofLifeCoaching
a. Confidentiality
b. EqualityofRelationship
c. MutualCommitment
d. TheClientTakesAction
e. Accountability
f. TemporalFocus
6 TheCoachingSession
7 WhatcanbeAddressedinLifeCoaching?
8 TheCoachsMentalAttitude&Skills
9 WhoistheClient?
10 TheBoundariesofCoaching
11 HowCoachingCanEnableLastingIntentionalChange
12 Concept&MethodsofCognitiveBehaviouralCoaching
13 TheDiamondPath
SelectBibliography

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 Experienceisnotwhathappenstoamanitswhataman
doeswithwhathappenstohim. AldousHuxley

1 LifeCoachingDefined
ALifeCoachhelpseachoftheirclientstobecomeincreasinglyproactive,ratherthan
passive,andincreasinglycreative,ratherthanreactive,inthewaytheyapproachtheirlives.
Thisempoweringandpositiveprocessofchangecanbeeffectivewithinallkindsofsettings
tobringoutthebestinpeopleandCoachingisnowarecognisedprofessionwithestablished
methodsforhelpingpeoplegrowandexcelbothintheirpersonallivesandtheirwork.

WellknownlifeUKCoachandTrainerCurlyMartindefinesLifeCoachingasaprofession
inthefollowingway:
Lifecoachingisacareerandanethicalprofession.Thelifecoachusesthepowerof
commitmenttoenabletheirclientstoachievebeneficialandmeasurableresultsinallareas
oftheirlives.Lifecoachingisaholisticprocessthathasthepowertobalanceand
harmoniselife.1

ThissimpleyetpowerfuldefinitionofLifeCoachinggivesasenseofthespiritualand
holisticapproachwhichisastrongelementinLifeCoaching.Akeyaspectofthecoachs
roletotheirclientsistoconsistentlyholdabiggerperspectiveassuchthecoachcanbea
tremendousallyfortheirclientsandtherelationshipcanhaveaprofoundeffects.

Thespiritualdimensionofcoachingunderpinsaverypragmaticapproachtohandling
challengesandopportunities.TheICFs(InternationalCoachFederations)Descriptionof
coachingisasfollows,

ProfessionalCoachingisanongoingprofessionalrelationshipthathelpspeopleproduce
extraordinaryresultsintheirlives,careers,businesses,ororganizations.Throughthe
processofcoaching,clientsdeepentheirlearning,improvetheirperformance,andenhance
theirqualityoflife.2

2
ICFwebsite:www.coachfederation.com

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Coachingisoneofmanytypesofprofessionwithafundamentalaimofhelpingothers
functionwellorbetterintheirlives.However,itiscrucialtoappreciatetheimportant
differencesbetweencoachingandcounselling,psychotherapy,andadvicegivingservices.
Thedifferentschoolsofthoughtandsubcategorieswithintheseotherprofessionseachhas
itsownpositionregardinghowdirectionalornondirectionalitspractitionersinteractions
arewiththeirclients.Truecoachingtakesplaceatthenondirectionalendofthespectrum
itsremitbeingtoassistthosewhoareconsideredwell(asopposedtoill)torefineand
improvewhattheydotodoitevenbetter.Truecoachesdonotgivespecificadvicebutthey
doteachtheskillsneededforcreativethoughtandbehaviour.

Ifapotentialorexistingcoachingclientisexperiencingsevereongoingemotionaldistress
otherhelpisindicatedandshouldbereferredbythecoachtoalternativeformsofhelpsuch
ascounsellingortherapy.Thecoachhasanethicaldutytoputtheclientswellbeingfirst,
beforetheirownselfinterestwhenmakingsuchdecisions.

Coachingworkswithimmediatelifeandbusinesssituationsbyenhancingthethinkingthat
goeswiththemtomakeitmoresupportiveandproductive.AsexplainedinTheThirty
MinuteLifeCoach,
Yourcoachwillshowyouhowtochangethewaythatyouthinkaboutadversityandmay
evenpointoutthatwelearnfarmorefromourmistakesthanwedofromoursuccesses.3

3
TheThirtyMinuteLifeCoach,GerardODonovan& CurlyMartin,TheCoachingAcademyUKLtd.,page38

Coachingprovidestheopportunitytoinvestigateandclarifyissuesandsituationsarising
directlyfromtheclientscurrentlifeexperience.Itprovidesanonjudgmental,open,trusting
relationshipwithinwhichtofullyexplorechoicesofactionopentotheclient.Italso
providesthearenaforchoicestobemadeandcommitmenttobevoicedoutloud,andvery
importantlyprovidesamechanismfortheclienttoholdthemselvesaccountablewiththe
coachsassistance.Coachingprovidesaspaceforthechallengeofunhelpfulpatternsof
thoughtandbehaviourwhereneededthechallengemaycomefromtheclientthemselvesor
fromthecoach.Itprovidesastructuredapproachtogoalsettingandachievement.Coaching
enablestheclienttogaininsightandawarenessoftheirhelpfulandunhelpfulpatternsand
tendencies,andrefinetheirfutureactionsaccordingly.
Aboveall,Coachingisarelationshipwiththepurposeofsupportingclientsinmovingnearer
totheirpotentialinanyandallaspectsoftheirlives,whilststrictlyadheringtotheclients
ownagendaforchange.Coachingprovidestheopportunityforaclienttodeveloptheir
relationshipwiththemselftoahigherlevel thaneverbefore,duetothesteadfast
commitmentandcompassionshownbythecoachtowhatevertheirclientbringstothe
relationship.

2 CoachingAsaProfession
TheconceptofLifeandBusinessCoachingasseparatedefinableactivities,developedtothe
extentthattheyarenowprofessionalactivities,isrelativelynew.TheconceptofCoaching
requiresexplorationandexplanationtobeproperlyunderstoodandappreciated.

Coachingisessentiallynotanewskillbutitisarelativelynewprofession andithasbeen
developedforparticularusesinlifeandbusinessoverrecentyears.Therehavebeen
elementsofcoachingaroundinotherhelpingrelationshipsformanyyears.Coachingisa
wellknownterminsports,thoughcertainlytherearemanystylesofcoachingwhichcanbe
verydifferentfromoneanother.Coachingisalsorelatedto,butcertainlynottheequivalent
of,mentoring,whichinvolvesastrongelementoftutoringoftheclientbythementore.g.in
specificeducationoremploymentskills.

Coachingisgraduallybecomingknownasaprofessionwithitsowntraining,ethical
standards,andprofessionalbodiesbeingestablishedtohelpsetandsafeguardprofessional
standards.Itisevidentthat,

Holdingoneselfaccountableforcertainstandardsispartofbeingaprofessional.Those
standardsaretypicallydevelopedandendorsedthroughaprofessionalassociation.4

4
CoActiveCoaching,Whitworth,KimseyHouse&Sandahl,1998,DaviesBlackPublishing,page170

TheICF(InternationalCoachFoundation)andtheECI(EuropeanCoachingInstitute)are
twosuchbodies.

ThecurrentrapidglobalexpansionofCoachingisdescribedasfollows,

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Todaytheprofessionofcoachingisstillinitsinfancy...Butclearlyithasthesizeandthe
impactofaprofessionwithactiveprofessionalandpersonalcoachesnotonlyinNorthand
SouthAmericabutinEuropeandthePacificRim.Thattheprofessioncontinuestogrowat
animpressiverateisatributetothehumandesireforexcellenceandthespiritofbeingfully
alive.5

5
CoActiveCoaching,ibid,page169

3 WhoHasCoaching?
Coachingisfoundinaverywiderangeof settingsandhasthescopeandflexibilityof
approachtobeusedinalmostlimitlessapplications.Coachingtakesplaceacrossawide
rangeofcommunicationmediumsasbestsuitstheclientsneedsonetoonepersonalLife
CoachingandBusinessCoachingtakeplacebytelephone,inperson,andusingemail,orby
acombinationofthese.Coachingtypicallytakesplaceonaonetoonebasis,howevergroup
coachingforpersonalLifeCoachingandinbusinesssettingsisalsoeffective,bothinmoving
forwardasanindividualandinimprovingthedynamicsoperatingwithinparticulargroups.

Coachingisbeingemployedwithinawidespectrumoflifesituationsincluding:
personallifecoaching
inallkindsofbusinesses
ineducationalsettings
inpublicsectororganisations
withoffenders
inhealth&fitness&professionalsports

Coachesareoftenselfemployedwithintheirownprivatepracticeandmaybeaffiliatedtoa
coachingbodyororganisationfromwhichtheyreceivereferralsofpotentialclients.They
mayapplyforaccreditationinrecognitionoftheirtrainingandhoursofcoachingexperience
anditisadvisableforthemtohaveindemnityinsurance.

SystemsfortheaccreditationandregulationofCoachingareintheprocessofbeingsetupin
Europealthoughtheprofessionisnotyetlegallyrequiredtoberegulated.Inmyopinionitis

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intheinterestsofallCoachestoparticipateinthedevelopmentofindustrystandardsand
meansofregulationforthebenefitofcurrentandfutureclients.

4 BenefitsofCoaching
Thepotentialbenefitsofcoachingarefarreachingindeed:
increasedselfawarenessofallaspectsofoneself
improvedselfesteemandclarity,senseofchoice
senseofowningonestruepowerofselfdetermination
atruerpictureofownstrengthsandweaknesses
theabilitytoownappropriateresponsibility
knowledgeofonesvalues,goalandaspirations
aligningtoonestruepurposeinlife
theabilitytotakedecisiveaction
theexpansionofonescomfortzones
resolutionofcommunicationdifficulties
celebrationofsuccess,andlearningandperseverancethroughanysetbacks!
AboveallIwouldciteimprovedrelationshipswithoneselfandothersasthekeypotential
benefitofcoaching,ashumanrelationshipsaresofundamentaltoeveryaspectofourlives.

5 KeyElementsofLifeCoaching
SeveralkeyaspectsofLifeCoachingwhich,whenpresenttogether,helpdefineLife
Coachingasdistinctfromotherhelpingrelationships,arelistedbelow.Asotherformsof
helpingsuchasCounsellingareatpresentmoreknownandestablishedwithinourcultureit
ishelpfultoensureclarityaboutthedifferences,bothtoavoidgeneralconfusionandto
preventexpectationswhichcannotbemetarisingintheclient.

a Confidentiality
b EqualityofRelationship
c MutualCommitment
d ActionisEssential
e Accountability
f TemporalFocusonPresentandFuture

Thesedefiningkeyfeaturesofthetruecoachingrelationshipareexploredbelow.

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a) Confidentiality
Theaspectofconfidentialityisclearlyanaspectof coachingwhichisheldinhighregardby
thecoachincommonwithmanyotherhelpingprofessions.AtrueCoachmakes
confidentialityaveryhighpriorityintheirpracticeandwillmakethisknowntotheclient.
Thisisessentialtoenabletrusttodevelopandenabletheclienttofeelsufficientlyateaseto
revealtheirbeliefs,values,aspirations,currentchallengesandopportunities.Confidentiality
mustalsohaveboundarieswhichtakeintoaccountthelawofthelandandtheclients,
coachsandotherswellbeing.Forinstance,ifitweretoberevealedwithinacoaching
sessionthatsomeonewasatseriousriskofharmofphysicalviolenceorsexualabuseit
wouldbeusualforthecoachtobreakconfidentiality.Theseguidelinesareinstrictly inline
withthoseforotherestablishedhelpingprofessions.

b) EqualityofRelationship
Coachingisanequalrelationshipembodyingequalcommitmentofcoachandclient.
Individualresponsibilityisnecessary thecoachbeingresponsibleforthemselfandthe
clientbeingresponsibleforthemselfandtheirdecisions.Thisreduceslimitstheriskofany
dependencyarisingandgrantsauniquepowertothecoachingrelationship.Anytemptation
tocoachfromanunequalstance,bygivingspecificadviceaboutwaysofresolvingissues,or
havingpreferencesastotheclientscourseofaction,istoberesistedbythecoach.By
givingadviceImeanthatthecoachdoesnotdesignsolutionsfortheirclient(incontrasttoin
thewaythatperhapsamentormightbeexpectedto).Forexample,acoachmaywell
recommendthataclienttakecareoftheirphysicalhealthbyexercisingregularlywherethis
hasbeenneglectedasvirtuallyallhumanbeingswhoareabletoexercisemoderatelywill
benefitfromitbutthecoachwillhelptheclientclarifytheirpossiblechoicesanditwillbe
uptotheclienttochoosetheirlevelofcommitmentintheknowledgeoftheresultstheywant
toachieve.

Itiscrucialfortheclientsgrowthtoensurethatthecoachdoesnotfallintoarescuingmode
andthatfullandfinalresponsibilityforalltheclientsdecisionsrestswiththeclient.The
clientisnotviewedasillorinneedofemergencyinterventionfortheirmentalhealth,and
wouldbereferredelsewhereshouldthisbeso.Thisissuewillbeexploredindetaillater.

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c) MutualCommitment
Acoachusesthepowerofcommitment,andthiscommitmentmustcomefrombothcoach
andclientforcoachingtohaveprofoundeffectsintheclientslife.LeadingUKLifeCoach,
FionaHarroldisveryforthrightabouttheimportanceofcommitmentforthesuccessofthe
coachingprocess.Ofthecoachscommitmentshesays,
Myclientsgetresultssomeofthemgetextraordinaryresults.Igiveeachoneofthemmy
undividedattention.Iexpect,wantanddemandtheverybestfromthemandIwantthevery
bestforthem.Ibring100%ofmyselftoeachclientIamtotallycommittedtothemandtheir
goals.

Shefollowsthisbyemphaticstatementsregardingtheclientscommitment:
Sowhyisitthatoneclientwilldowellwhileanotherwilldobrilliantly?Whywillone
achievegoodresultswhileanothergetsstunningresults?...Overmyyearsofworkingwith
hundredsofclientsIhaveseen,timeaftertime,whatmakesthevitaldifferenceandIcantell
youwhatitiswithabsolutecertainty.Itisthedegreeofcommitmenttothemselvesandtheir
goalsthateachclienthaswhenIworkwiththem...6

6
BeYourOwnLifeCoach,FionaHarrold,Hodder&Stoughton,2000,page10

Itishighlylikelythatacoachwilldiscussthesubjectofcommitmentwithaclientatthe
outsetand/orperiodicallywithintheirrelationship.Someclientsmayalreadybevery
committedtotheirgoalsandtotakingactiontowardsachievingthemothersmayneedtobe
educatedintheimportanceofsustainingongoingcommitmentforanylastingchangeto
occur.Inunderstandingwhatmakescommitmentstrongitishelpfultolookatits
components.

AccordingtoFionaHarrold,
..commitmentismadeupoffourdistinctelements:
motivation
selfbelief
selfdiscipline
willingnesstochallenge7

7
FionaHarrold,ibid,p11

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Acoachmayassisttheclienttodevelopthesecomponentsofcommitment tostrengthen
theircommitmentmusclesasitwereinorderthattheybecomeincreasinglyeffectiveand
fulfilledandachievemoreinashorterspaceoftimewithlessdiscomfort.

d) TheClientTakesAction

Acreativelifeisfoundedonmany,manysmallstepsandveryfewlargeleaps.
Smallactionsleadustothelargermovementsinourcreativelives8

TheArtistsWay,JuliaCameron,PanBooks,1993,pages142&143

Iinterpretthecreativelife,ofwhichJuliaCameronspeakssoeloquently,inthebroadest
sensethatofhavingacreativemindsetwhichIamconvincediswhatleadsustocreative
acts,bothinartandinlife.Humanbeingscanengagefrequentlyinpointlessanxiety,worry
andnegativityorinsteadtheycanchoosetotakethecumulativesmallstepswhicheventually
leadtoachievingthebiggestofdreams!Soitiswithcoachingacoachhelpstheirclient
recognisetheirabilitytochooseandactbyassumingthatthisispossible,andthenhelpsthe
clientfindtheirpathtoanincreasinglycreativemindsetwithineachmoment.

TheInternationalCoachFederationidentifiesactionasthekeytosuccessfortheclient
Thesuccessfulclientisnotexcessivelylimitedintheabilitytotakeactionoroverlyhesitant
tomakethiskindofprogress.
However,itcancertainlybepartofthecoachsroletoassisttheirclientinchanginghabitsof
procrastination thiscommonhumanhabitofputtingitoffuntillaterandlatermaynever
come.Acommonareaforclientstorequireassistanceinforinstanceisthatofphysical
exerciseandhealthgivingdietclientsoftenhaveresistancetotakingshorttermactionseven
thoughtheyknowtheycanleadtoimmenselongtermbenefits.Thecoachcanhelpthe
clienttoaltertheirperspectivetotakeintoaccountandfocusstronglyonthelongterm
benefitsandgoodreasonsfordelayinginstantgratification.Theycanalsogivethemselves
instantmentalandphysicalrewardsfortakingthenewaction.Thesestepshelpformnew
habitstheyevenhavetheirownshorttermbenefitswhichhadnotpreviouslybeen
anticipatedastheyarenowincreasinglylinkedtoexperiencingpleasureratherthanpain.
Coachingisbothanartandascienceinmanywaystheartofmanifestingthehighestlevels
ofinnerawarenessandoutercommunication,togetherwiththescienceofunderstandinghow
thehumanmindandemotionsoperateandinteract.Thisenablesthecoachtofacilitatethe
specificchangesdesiredbyclientsintheirbehaviourpatternsandhabitsandthusintheirday
todayexperienceofthemselvesandtheworld.

e) Accountability

Asignificantdifferencebetweencoachingandotherformsofhelpingisinthecentral
importanceoftheaccountabilityoftheclientforcarryingouttheagreedactions.Thisgrants
therelationshiphighlyeffectivepowerintheprocessofchangeandpreventsthesessions
becomingalltalkwithoutleadingtorealandmeasurablechange.Accountabilitycanbe
assistedbyhavingamethodfortheclienttofeedbacktheirprogressbetweensessions,
whichmaytaketheformofawrittenprogressreportorformofconciseverbalupdate.Itcan
beveryhelpfulfortheclienttorecordtheirprogressinwritingasthisbecomespartofthe
selfreflectiveprocessandalsoincreasesawarenessofanyhabitsofprocrastination.The
coachisnottheretochastisetheclientbuttoreflectbackandchallengewhereneeded,any
habitualpatternsthatdonotservetheclient,andrecogniseandchampionanybehavioursthat
servetheclientwell.

f) TemporalFocus

Thetemporalfocusofcoachingismostdefinitelyinthepresentandfuture,ratherthanthe
past,incontrastwithmanyotherkindsofhelpingrelationship.Coachingconcentrateson
whereclientsarerightnow,andwhattheyarewillingtodotogetwheretheydesiretobein
thefuture.

Coachingdoestakeaccountofanyrecurrentpatternsorhabitsinaclientsexperience,
howeveritisimportantthatcoachingfocusesprimarilyonwhatwecaninfluenceandchange
ratherthanonourstoriesofthepast.Infactthestoryisrecognisedasoftenbeingalarge
partofanyperceivedproblem.Relivingthepastisonlyhelpfultotheextentthatwelearn
fromitandunderstandourselvesthroughit,toassistinourpresentandfuturegrowthand
development.Throughcoachingaclientmaychoosetoshifttheirperspectiveonpastevents
toonewhichismorehelpfultotheirfuturedevelopment.Minimaltimewouldbespentina

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coachingsessiongoingoverpasteventsandmuchmoreemphasisplacedonthepresentand
futureandtheoptions,challengesandopportunitiesarisingthere.

AsexplainedbytheICF Acoachmakesarequestoftheclienttopromoteactiontoward
theclient'sdesiredoutcome.Acoachdoesnotmakesuchrequestsinordertofixtheclient's
problemorunderstandtheclient'spast.9

9
InternationalCoachingFederationwebsite,ibid.

Thecoachassiststheclientinfocussingsquarelyinthedirectioninwhichtheclientwantsto
gothusenablingthemtogettherequicker,withlessenergysappingdetoursalongtheway.
Theclientcanthenusetheirfullerenergiestocontributetowardsachievingtheirdesired
outcomes.

6 TheCoachingSession
Coachesandclientsarrangeascheduleandaverbalorwrittencontactthatworkswellfor
themboth.Thecoachwillleadintheconstructionofamutuallyagreedandclearcontract.
Coacheshavedifferentapproachestosessionsdependingontheirpreferredwaysofworking.
Itmaybeappropriateforinstanceforcoachingtotaketheformofoneoffsessionsfor
specificissuesorprojects,butgenerallyaseriesofcoachingsessionsisrequiredtorealise
significantpositivechange.Somecoachesmayrecommendaseriesofadozensessionsfrom
theoutsetsothattheclientbringsanexpectationofdevotingthistimetotherelationship
fromthestartandwillbemorelikelytostayontrackthroughanyexperienceofchallenge.It
ishelpfulforcoachandclienttoacknowledgethatinanyprocessofgrowththerewillbe
timesofeaseandstrugglewhenoldpatternsarebeingexchangedfornew.

Acoachingsessionwouldgenerallybeginasfollows:theclientwouldbringanissueor
rangeofissuestothesessionthecoachlistensandformssuitablequestionstofurtherclarify
theissue/sonbehalfoftheclient,(andnottosatisfythecoachspersonalcuriosity).The
qualityoflisteningissuchthatthecoachisabletotuneintotheclientswayofbeing,wayof
seeingtheirworld,anduniqueexperienceofthemselvesandotherswithaskilledcoachthis
occurstosuchanextentthatthecoachsown agendaallbutdisappearsintheprocess,being
puttoonesideforthedurationofthecoachingsession.Thecoachwillaskpowerfulandat
timesprovocativequestionsthroughtheiranswers,theclientwillexploretheircurrent
experienceandfutureoptions.Thecoachwilloftenreframeanissueintermsofthe

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timescaleandperspectivetoenabletheclientseesituationsinanewlightandenablemore
creativesolutionstoarise.Therangeofpossibleoptionswillbegeneratedandanactionplan
agreed.Actiononthepartoftheclientbetweensessionsiscentraltotheprocessof
coaching,togetherwithanylearningandfeedbackresultingfromtheiraction/nonaction.
Forinstance,inasituationwheretheclientwishestoadoptanewhelpfulhabittheymake
themselvesaccountablewiththecoachssupport.Thishelpspreventthepossibilityofthe
clientlosingsightoftheirgoals,actionplansandpersonalinsights.Thecoachmayalso
makerequestsof theclientwhichwillpromotefurtherlearningandactioninthedirectionof
theirgoals.However,theclientatalltimeshasthepowertoagree,disagreeormakea
counteroffertoacoachsrequestsandthisfreechoiceshouldbemadeexplicitinthe
relationship.

Coachingcanonlyworkfortheclienttotheextentthattheybringcommitmentand
willingnesstochangeinthewaytheyrelatetothemselvesandothers.Theongoingextentto
whichtheclientcommitstotakeactionwhichtheyhaveagreedtotakebetweensessionsisof
greatsignificance.Partoftheeffectivenessofcoachingliesinthefactthatwhenina
coachingrelationshiptheclientfeelsmoreaccountablenotjudgedby butaccountable
ultimatelytothemselvesforalltheiractionsandnonactions.

Acoachmaywellensurethattheyobtainclearnaileddowncommitmentsfromtheclient
beforetheendofasessionastoexactlywhattheyareagreeingtodo,withwhom,andwhen,
beforethenextsession.Thistakestherelationshipfarbeyondoneprimarilycomposedof
talkingandsharingwithoutanyrealchangeinbehaviour.Theresultingpositivespiralof
empowermentandincreasedclarityandchoiceinclientslifeisthesuccessfulresultof
coaching.

7 WhatcanbeAddressedinLifeCoaching?
LifeCoachingishelpfulinamyriadofdifferentsituations,someofwhicharelistedbelow:
Communicationissuesinallsituations
Raisingandmaintainingselfesteem
Improvingselfconfidence
Relationshipissuesofallkinds(whetheratwork,family,friendships,sexual)

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 Decisionsaboutwhatworktodoandhowtogoaboutit
Financialchoicesandissues
Healthrelatedissues
Maintainingrecoveryfromaddictions(providingotherappropriatesupportisalso
present)
Recoveringafterbereavementorothermajorloss
Anymajorlifedecisions
Anyissuewherechoiceisinvolved

Asonecanappreciate,thisisaverybroadremit,andmanycoacheschoosetospecialisein
certainareasaccordingtotheirowninterestsandexperience.Thecoachhasaccesstoawide
rangeof approachestosuitdifferentclientswiththeiruniquepersonalitiesandpotentials,and
differentlifesituations.

Anoteontimescaleofcoachingrelationship:
Eachclientsspeedofdiscovery,growthinselfawareness,willingnessandabilitytoact,and
rateofchangeisspecifictothem.Itiscommonforclientstohavecoachingoveraperiodof
monthsandforsomeyearstoachievesignificant,lastingsuccesstheymayachievetheir
originalgoalsandgoontosetnewhighergoalsforthemselves.Thecoachassiststheclient
tokeepreferringtotheintendedoutcomesintheirlife,thussharpeningtheirfocus.

8 TheCoachsMentalAttitude&Skills
Throughtheirtrainingandcoachingexperienceacoachwillamassagreatdealofexperience
inthementalandphysicalstatesthatleadhumanbeingstowardssuccessandfulfilment
thisawarenessofstrategiesforsuccessisoneofthecoachsassets.Thepositivemindset
andcandomentalityisatthecoreofacoachsbeingacoachwillseektoexemplifytheir
methodswithintheirownlife.Eachcoachwillhavetheirownuniqueapproachtocoaching
dependentontheirparticularinterestsandinspiration,aswellastheirformalandinformal
trainingforthejob.Acoachsparticularcoachingstylewillprobablyemphasisecertain
aspectsofcoachingmorethanothersandwillbetailoredtosuiteachindividualclient
dependentontheirneeds.

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AcoachwillfrequentlyspecialiseinoneormoreareasofLifeand/orBusinessCoaching.
Thelawofattractionofliketolikeresultsinthemworkingwiththeclientswhoareattracted
totheirparticularapproach.Acoachhasawiderangeoftoolsattheirdisposaltoassistthe
clientwithwhateverarises.Thecoachwillhaveclarifiedtheirownprofessionalboundaries
regardingwhattheycanandcannotoffertoaclientandwillbeadeptincommunicatingthis
withclarity.

Whencoaching,agreatcoachwillaccesscertainstateofbeingwhichwillpromotehigh
qualitylisteningandawareness.Thisisagroundedstateofbeinginthezoneforcoaching
acaringstateofnonjudgementalopennessandpositivedetachment.Inmyexperiencethis
positivesenseofdetachmentfromtheclientsdecisionsneedstobeconstantlycultivatedand
contributessignificantlytothecoachseffectiveness.Whilstcaringdeeplyabouttheclients
overallwellbeingandrecognisingtheirinfluenceintheclientsprocess,thecoachneedsto
resistoverinfluencingtheclientschoiceofaction.Coachesdonotusetheirexpertiseto
diagnose,direct,ordesignsolutionsfortheclient.

Ibelievethatsuccessfulcoachesfindtheirownparticularnichewithincoachingtogivethe
bestofthemselvesinwayswhichdelightandfulfilthem.Ibelievethat,throughtheir
practiceofcoaching,successfulcoachesrepeatedlyaccesspeakstatesofinspirationand
effectivenessinaspiralpathleadingtogreaterandgreaterawarenessofself,ofothersandof
theinterconnectednessofboth.

9 WhoistheClient?
Theclientwantssomethingwhetheritisahigherlevelofperformance,additionallearning,
orgreatersatisfactionandfulfilmentinanyorallaspectsoftheirlife.Coachingisoftenused
bysuccessfulindividualswhosupportthemselvesandtheirdevelopmentbymakinguseof
Coachingasahighlysupportivemechanismforpositivechangeandevengreaterlevelsof
success.TheICFclarifieswhythesesuccessfulindividualsuseaCoach,

Whataboutpeoplewhoarealreadydoinggreatintheirlives.Whywouldtheyneeda
coach?Theymightnotneedacoach.Butitishelpfultofindout:Aretheydoingwhatthey
mostenjoy?Aretheytoleratinganything?Islifeeasy?Aretheygoingtobefinancially

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independentwithinthenext15years?Dotheyhavewhattheymostwant?We'vediscovered
that,often,peopleneedtoexpectmoreoutoftheirlives.Acoachcanhelpinthisprocess.10

10
InternationalCoachFederationwebsite,2003: www.coachfederation.org

Itmaywellbethecasethatclientslevelsofexpectationofwhattheirlifecanbecouldbe
raisedsignificantlyintheirfavour.Clientsoftenneedlotsofencouragementtoallowtheir
greatestdreamstolive!

Someclientscometocoachingforproblemsolvingwithmajorandminorlifeissues.Itis
crucialtorecognisethatcoachingcanbeusedconcurrentlywithpsychotherapeuticworkbut
itisnottobeusedasasubstitutewherepsychotherapeuticworkisneeded.Thequestionof
identifyingwhenitwouldbeadvisableforaparticularclienttohavetherapeutichelpisone
inwhichthecoachmustusetheirprofessionaljudgementandexperienceIwillsaymore
aboutthisprocessinthenextsection.Inadditiontoclarifyingtheirownprofessional
boundariesIbelieveacoachshouldregularlyseekthecounselofseniorcoachesinmaking
theseimportantjudgementcalls.

10 TheBoundariesofCoaching
Coachingisnot thesameasmentoringthecoachisnotrequiredtobeanexpertinanything
otherthancoachingtechniqueandcommunication.Thecoachisnotgivingadviceasa
mentorwouldthecoachfacilitatesmentalagilityandexpansionofchoicesratherthan
teachingfromexperiencee.g.ofhavingdoneaparticularkindofwork.

Whilstacoachisnottheretotellaclienthow toactinspecificways,theyaretheretohelp
theclientmoveintowhateveractionisconducivetotheirwellbeingandgrowth.Some
clientsmaythinktheywantandneedadvice,butanytemptationtogiveitshouldbe
resolutelyresistedbythecoach.

TheICF,initswebsite,givesanotablydifferentopinion,saying
Advice,opinions,orsuggestionsareoccasionallyofferedincoaching.Bothparties
understandthattheclientisfreetoacceptordeclinewhatisofferedandtakestheultimate
responsibilityforaction.Thecoachisnotdiscouragedfromofferingadvice,opinionsor
suggestionsonoccasion.

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If,asIwouldresolutelyuphold,thecoachisnottheretoofferadvicehowdoestheclient
knowwhattodo?Coachingimplicitlyassumesthattheclientdoesindeedknowwhattodo
thismaytaketimeandencouragementtouncover,buttheyhavealltheirownanswersto
achievetheirpotential. Coachingprovidesthemeansforexploringboththemorerational
areasofself whatclientsthinkaboutthemselvesandtheirpotential butalsocruciallya
coachwillhelpaclientfeeltheirintuitivesenseofinnerguidance.

AsRobbieGasswrote
Likeanabilityofamuscle,hearingyourinnerwisdomisstrengthenedbydoingit.11

11
AsquotedinTheArtistsWay,JuliaCameron,PanBooks,1993,page16

Iwouldarguethatatrueandgreatcoachdoesnotadviseinthesenseofbeingattachedtothe
clienttakinganyparticularrouteofattainingagoal.Clientsneedtobeencouragedto
becomemoreandmoreaccustomedtolookingwithinfortheiranswersandstrengthening
theirbeliefintheirowninnerwisdom.Coachingclientsareultimatelyresponsiblefortheir
choiceswithinthecoachingsessionandshouldbeencouragedtorecogniseandtakethis
responsibility.Thisisbalancedwiththeclientbeingmotivatedtoachievetheircommitments
becausetheyarebeingheldaccountabletothemselvesbythecoach.Ultimatelytheyneedto
movetowardsrecognisingthattheyhavecompletefreedomofchoicetoundertakewhatever
theywishto.Wherethereisanyquestionofaclientfeelingobligedtodosomethingthis
needstobeexploredandacknowledgedsothattheycanmoveforwardintotheirownpower.
Thecoachisworkingtowardsenablingtheclienttocoachthemselvestosuccessby
adoptingtriedandtestedmethods.

Coachingisnotacureallforallproblemsandisnotarescueserviceforthosestuckin
prolongedemotionaldistress.Itisnotatherapyinthesenseofhealingillnessofthemind
butitIwouldarguethatitismoreappropriatethancounsellingforpeoplewithmuchless
severedifficultieswhomaygotocounsellinglookingforsupportandanswerstotheirinner
questionsbutfindthattheyhavenotachievedanysignificantchange.Oftenwhatpeople
whoarebasicallywellneediseducatinginhowtobecomemoreconfidentlythemselves!
Coachingisnotapplicableincasesofextremepsychologicalandemotionaldistress,clinical
depressionordeeprooted,intransigentdifficultiesstemmingfromthepast.Itispossibleto

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havecounsellingandcoachingcontinuingalongsideoneanotherifhelpfultoaclientfor
differentpurposesintheirlife.

Theclientisnotseekingemotionalhealingorrelieffrompsychologicalpain.Theyarenot
inastateofcrisis....Coachingisdesignedtohelpclientsimprovetheirlearningand
performance,andenhancetheirqualityoflife.Coachingdoesnotfocusdirectlyonrelieving
psychologicalpainortreatingcognitiveoremotionaldisorders.12

12
InternationalCoachingFederationwebsite,ibid.

Whetheroperatingfromwithinthemembershipofarecognisedcoachingbodyornot,each
coachmustultimatelysetandactupontheirownspecificmomentbymomentboundaries.I
haveidentifiedthefollowingguidelinesformyowncoachingpractice:

TheapparentstateoftheClientandthenatureoftheirissue/sbothneedtobe
considered.ItisnotsufficienttosaythatwhereaClientorpotentialClientisnot
considered,ordoesnotconsiderthemselves,illtheycanbeacceptedforcoaching.
Theirissuemaybeunsuitable.
Wheretheclientsissue/srelatesprimarilytoaneventorrelationshipinthepastwhich
theyexperiencedasverytraumaticIwouldreferthemfortherapyorcounsellingand,if
consideredappropriateanddesirable,offercoachinginaddition.
WheretheClientsnegativeemotionsarestrongandsustainedandnotunder
sufficientselfcontrolforthemtomanagetheirlives.E.g.anger,depression,anxiety,I
wouldreferthemon.
WhereaClientissufferingfromprolongedsenseofoverwhelmanddoesnothavethe
currentcapacitytomoveforwardIwouldreferthemontotherapyorcounselling.

WhereindicatedIwouldreferclientstotheirGPandperhapsalsototellthemabout
CognitiveBehaviouralTherapy(CBT)asIamawareoftheexcellentresultsachievedand
knowthatCBTissometimesavailablethroughtheNHS.However,itwouldbetheGPs
role,withassistancefromMentalHealthprofessionalsandtheClientthemselves,to
determinetheappropriatecourseofactiondependingonthenatureandseverityofthe
difficulties.

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11 AchievingLastingIntentionalChange
Clientscometocoachingbecausethereissomethingsomewherewhichtheywanttochange
intheirliveseithersomethingtheywantordontwant.Theywillneedtolearntothinkand
actindifferentwaystogetnewresults.Inmyexperienceclientsoftenneedencouragement
toownandexpresssomethingtheyalreadyknowaboutthemselvesdeepdowntheirown
truthwhichresidesperhapssodeepthatitisintherecessesoftheirunconsciousmindasyet.
Coachingmethodsinvolvingvisualisationcanhelp,ascantheprecisepowerfulquestionsthe
coachasks.However,negativeselfbeliefscan blockfurtherprogress.

Theprocessofuncoveringnegativeselfbeliefsandsystematicallyreplacingthemwith
supportiveselfbeliefsisoneofthemosteffectivelifechangingandaffirmingprocesses.
ThisprocessisdescribedbyJuliaCameroninTheArtistsWay(abookwhichguides
peopleinreleasingtheirinnatecreativity).Itworkswithuncoveringnegativebeliefsand
discardingthem(p3036)andusingpositiveaffirmations(p3240).JuliaCameronalso
describestheprocessofidentifyinggremlinsandmonsterswhichareourhabitualinternal
fearsandblocks.Thishastheeffectofexternalisingthestumblingblockthepoorquality
questionswehabituallyaskaboutourselves,andthepoorqualityanswersaboutourselves
whichnaturally ensue.Itclearlyidentifiesthismentalconstructasthedifficulty,andnot
somethinginherentlypartoftheperson.Thiscanbeanimmenserelieftoanyonewhohas
lurkingfearstheyaresomehowinherentlyflawed.

InAwakentheGiantWithin,Anthony Robbinsalsoengagesdeeplywiththisprocessof
changingnegativeselfbeliefshegetsustoasknewquestionswhenweperceivedifficulties.
Hestronglyencouragesustoaskanumberofchallengequestions,including:
Whatsgreataboutthisproblem?1
1
AwakenTheGiantWithin,AnthonyRobbins,Simon&Schuster,1991,page193

Thisturnsourusualthinkingonitsheadandcanpromotearadicalchangeofstateand
perceptionifwearewillingtoengagewithititcanbemindexpandingindeed.Iffollowed
bynewactions,whichgiveusnewfeedbackaboutwhatweareabletodo,beandhaveinour
lives,wecangoontofreeourselvesfromtheselfmadeprisonsofhabitualnegative
responsesforgood!

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Whenviewedfromahigherstandpointourgreatest obstaclescanrevealthemselvesasour
mosthelpfulteachers.Themoreoneexperiencesthisdynamic,thegreateronesabilityto
perseverethroughdifficultieswithaninnerfaiththatvaluablelearningandgrowthwill
surelyfollow.Thisisnotinany wayanencouragementtoundergounnecessarysufferingif
wecanseeawayoutofit!

Alargepartofhumansufferingiscausedbyattachingtothinkingthatrealityshould
somehowdifferfromhowitactuallyisandwithoutourhavingtotakeresponsibilityfor
activelychangingit!Whenwecanthinkandfeelourwaybeyondshouldslikethiswecan
experiencemuchgreaterinnerpeaceeveninthemidstofwhatmightappeartobe
significantobstacles.

Ifeelstronglythatmanyperceivedobstaclesaresubjectiveobstacles,ofakindwhichitis
possibletodissolve,giventherightwayintoourthinkingtheymaylook,feelandtaste
solid,buttheyareconstructedinourmindsandinthemindsofotherswhoinfluenceus.
Giventherightapproach,toolsandsupport,weareabletobreakthroughtoaplaceoffar
greaterinnerfreedomandjoy.Thisawarenesscanleadustoacreativemindsetof
recognisingthosefactorswhichwedowishtochangeandgettingonwithitconfidence!

12 MethodsfromCognitiveBehaviouralCoaching

Clientsmaybeawareofunhelpfulbehaviourstheywishtochangebutawarenessaloneis
notusuallyenoughtochangedeeprootedbehavioursclientsneedtobeequippedwiththe
tools,methods,andsupportforlastingintentionalchangetooccurandtakeenoughofthe
necessaryactionswhichwilltrulyimplementthechange.InthissectionIwillexplorehow
coachescanworkmosteffectivelywithsomeofthemoreresistantofbehaviourswhichcan
standinthewayoftheclientsfurtherprogress.HereIamconsideringentrenched
behaviourssuchasprocrastination,poortimemanagement,andtheadoptionofcertainvery
commonstances(suchasthatofvictimandrescuer)inpersonalandworkrelationships.
Thesebehaviourscanverymuchaffectaclientslifeadverselybutwithoutthemnecessarily
becomingclinicallyillassuch.

Isuggestthatthecoachcanassisttheprocessofchangebydrawingonmethodsfroman
approachcoinedasCognitiveBehaviouralCoaching,byMichaelNeenanandWindy

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DrydenintheirbookLifeCoaching:ACognitiveBehaviouralApproach,firstpublishedin
2002.Thisbookisclearlyaimedat thatneglectedspecies...theintelligentreader.This
personkeepshercriticalfacultiessharpbyengagingwithnewideas,welcomesopposing
viewpoints,isunafraidtochangehermindandseeksopportunitiesforselfdevelopment.
However,eventhesefinequalitiescannotpreventyoufromunderperformingorbecoming
stuckincertainareasofyourlife.13

13
LifeCoaching:ACognitiveBehaviouralApproach,MichaelNeenanandWindy Dryden,Brunner
Routledge,2002,preface.

CognitiveBehaviouralCoaching(CBC)isbasedonthepremisethatlearningtothink
differentlycanenableustofeelandactdifferentlyandthusbecomehappierandmore
fulfilledinlife.Thisworkisderivedfromtheauthorsexperienceof deliveringCognitive
BehaviouralTherapy(CBT)butisaimedatthepopulationatlarge,inanonclinicalsetting
andisconcernedwiththechangingtheselfdefeatingthinkingwhichadverselyaffectsand
restrictssomanypeople.

FromengagingwiththemethodsandexamplesNeenanandDrydendescribe,Ihaveastrong
sensethatwhereveracoachencountersablocktotheirclientsprogresswhichhingeson
troublesomeemotions,procrastination,excessivesensitivitytocriticism,orreactionrather
thanresponse,themethodsofCognitiveBehaviouralCoachingwouldbeveryhelpful
indeed.

TogiveaflavourofCBC,itsmethodsincludeworkingwithunhelpfulthinkingby
Disputingunhelpfulpatternsofthinkingbyusingquestionsbasedonlogicandasking
Doesthisthoughthelporhindergoalachievement?
Counteringdistortedthinkingsuchasexaggeratingthenegativeanddiscountingthe
positive.
Findingalternativestorigidshouldsandmusts.
Recognisingthehabitsofcatastrophising,orassumingtheworst,andifitoccurs,
assuminganinabilitytocopewithit.

Theauthorslookatthenegativecorebeliefswhichoftenunderpindistortedthinkingand
whichareactivatedfromtheirdormantstatewhenyouareupsetandexplainhowto
identifythembyprogressivelytrackingbackacurrentdisturbingthought(p89)tofindout
whatliesatitsroot.Thesecorebeliefsdeterminehowweseeasituationasweknowfrom

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experiencepeopledoseedifferentsituationsverydifferentlyindeed.Changingour core
beliefsrequiresidentifyingthenewbeliefonewishestoadoptandthenactivelyseeking
evidenceforitwhereverpossible,fromonespast,andparticularlyfromonespresentand
future.

IwillgiveabriefoutlineofthemajortopicscoveredwithinNeenanandDrydensworkand
thengoontoexploreacoupleofthesemethodsinmoredetailtodeterminehowtheycould
benefitaLifeCoachswork.Theirchapterscover:
1. Dealingwithtroublesomeemotions
2. Problemcreatingvs.problemsolving
3. Overcomingprocrastination
4. Timemanagement
5. Persistence
6. Dealingwithcriticism
7. Assertiveness
8. Takingrisksandmakingdecisions
9. Understandingthepersonalchangeprocess
10. Puttingitalltogether

InChapter3NeenanandDrydentakeathoroughlookatprocrastinationbehaviours
identifyingthemasoftenabehaviouralwayofprotectingyourselffromexperiencingan
unpleasantemotionalstate.Ifthecoachhelpstheclientunderstandtheirfearstheycanhelp
theclientimplementaprogrammeofactiontoovercomethem. Theyalsorecognisethat
sometimesproductiveactionneedstocomebeforeonesmotivationcanbereallyhigh,and
thatitcanbeselfsabotagingtowaitforsufficientmotivationtoarisebeforemakingastart
onactionwhichweknowwillbenefitus.Theyidentifyacommonmisconceptionabout
changesomepeoplebelievethat:
..insightalonewillbringaboutthenecessarychangesinyourlife.Unfortunately,the
changeprocessismorecomplicated:insightplusforcefulandpersistentactionequals
enduringchange.

Theygoontogiveanexampleregardingproducinglastingimprovementsinselfworth:
Forexample,youseethatyourselfworthisdependentupontheapprovalofothersandthe
solutiontothisdependencyistovalueyourselfirrespectiveofhowothersseeyou.Unless
youputthisinsightintodailypractice(e.g.beingassertivewhennecessary,doingthingsthat

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mayincurcriticismorrejectionfromothers),itishighlyunlikelythatyouwillintegrateyour
newphilosophyofselfworthintoyourbeliefsystem(i.e.youbelieveitdeeplyand
consistently.14

14
Ibid,Neenan&Dryden,page82

ThisishowCBCwouldapproachtimemanagementissues,
Theessenceoftimemanagementisknowingwhatyourvaluesandgoalsareinlifeand
makingtheoptimumuseofyourtimetoachievetheseends...Youwillneedtoreviewhow
youuseyourtimeandphaseoutthoseactivitiesthatarenotgoaldirected.

Theymaywelladvocatetheuseofadailytimelogwhichisreviewedjointlywiththeclient
tomakedecisionsaboutwhatneedschanging.Theirfocusonvalues,goalsandincreasing
thegoaldirectedactivitiestoachievepositiveoutcomessitsveryhappilywithcoaching
methodologies.Theyalsoofferprecise,practicalideasforchangee.g.fortheclientwhois
workingwithimprovingtheireffectivenessandwhooftenhandlesthesamepiecesof
paperworkmanytimeswithouttakingthenecessarydecisiveaction,NeenanandDryden
suggestthefollowingmethod.Theclientputsatickinthecornerofeachpieceofpapereach
timeitishandledtohelpthemnoticeiftheyareputtingoffmakingadecisioniftheticksare
mountingup.

ItwouldhavebeeninterestingtoknowmoreabouthowNeenanandDrydenseetheirwork
whenviewedwithinthecontextofstylesofLifeCoaching.Theirviewoftheclientcoach
relationshipfitswiththeapproachdescribedinCoActiveCoachingbyWhitworth,
KimseyHouseandSandahl,andalsowiththemethodstaughtintheNobleManhattanLife
CoachTraining.IhavenoticedthatthroughusingtheCBCapproachcoachandclientare
likelytobecomebetteracquaintedwiththeircurrentreality:adeptatlookingfortheprecise
evidenceofhowsomethingisnow,whatpreciseandmeasurablecriteriawouldrepresentan
improvementand,oncetheactionischosenandactedupon,itseffectivenessinthelightof
theirchosencriteria.InmyopinionthisisaverygoodresultofCBConecouldsaythatit
makeshighlyeffectiveuseoftherealitystageoftheTGROW15 coachingmodel,coming
backtoreviewitlaterwithaseriesofrealitychecksbeingbuiltintotheCBCcoaching
process.TheCBCapproachalsomakesgooduseoftheotherstagesofthismodel.

15
TheTGROWcoachingmodelastaughtbyNobleManhattan,andfoundinEffectiveCoachingbyMyles
Downey,standsforTopic,Goal,Reality,OptionsandWayForward.

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Thecentralpremiseofcognitiveapproachesisthatourfeelingsarenotjustautomatic
reactionstoevents,theyareshapedbytheideasandrecurringthoughtsthatwehave.Whilst
theCBCapproachtochangemanagementtakesfullaccountofboththerationalandnon
rationalcognitiveandemotionalforcesunderpinningbehaviouritpurposelyplacesthem
withinarationallybasedframeworktofacilitateincreasingcontrolandmasteryofones
strong,reactiveemotions.ThusNeenanandDrydenoffercoachespreciseandeffective
methodsforhelpingclientsworkdirectlywiththoughtsandthewaytheyaffecttheirfeelings
andbehaviours.

Iwasinterestedtofindoutwhethercognitiveapproachesgenerallyfitwithcoaching
methodology.FurtherresearchintoCognitiveBehaviouralTherapyrevealedthetemporal
focusasacommontoboth.AsDrChrisWilliamsexplains,

Cognitivetherapylooksat"hereandnow"issuesratherthanthingsfromthepast.Ithelps
peopletolearnnewmethodsofcopingandproblemsolvingwhichtheycanusefortherest
oftheirlives.

Hegoesontosaythat
Cognitivetherapyisawayoftalkingabouttheconnectionsbetweenhowwethink,howwe
feelandhowwebehave.Itparticularlyconcentratesonideasthatareunrealistic.These
oftenundermineourselfconfidenceandmakeusfeeldepressedoranxious.Lookingat
thesecanhelpusworkoutdifferentwaysofthinkingandbehavingthatinturnwillhelpus
copebetter.Cognitivetherapyalsohelpsustolookatour"rulesforliving".Theseare
strongbeliefsabouthowweshouldliveourliveswhichwedevelopwhilewearegrowingup.
Theyarebasedbothonwhatwelearnfromotherpeopleandonourownexperiences.
Althoughtheyshapeourlives,mostofthetimewedon'tgivethemmuchthought.Theymay
berealisticorunrealistic,helpfulorunhelpful.Forexample,someonemaygrowupwiththe
beliefthat"IcannotbehappyunlessIamsuccessfulineverythingIdo".Thisbeliefis
unrealistictherealityoflifeisthatweallfailsometimes.Bydemandingtheimpossible,
thisideaislikelytoproducefeelingsofdepression.Cognitivetherapycanhelpusnotonly
tobeawareofthe"rules"weusebutalsotodevelopmorehelpfulones.

ItisimportanttorecognisethatCognitiveBehaviouralistsdonotencourageclientstosimply
changetheirthoughtswhereinfactitispreferableandpossibletochangetheexternal
circumstancesforthebetter.NeenanandDrydenrecognisethattherearedifferentsolutions

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toanychallengesomeareemotionfocussedandsomearesituationfocussedsolutions
eitherorbothcanbeappropriateandhelpfuldependingupontheindividualsituation.For
instance,theyidentifyemotionalselfmanagementastheusualkeytostressmanagementin
additiontomakingchangeswithinonesenvironment.IseethatCBCapproachesas
potentiallyveryhelpfulwhereanemotionfocussedsolutionmaybehighlyapplicable.

ItisimportanttoemphasiseherethatIaminnowayadvocatingcoachestakingclientswho
infactwoulddobettertoseekrelieffromtherapyhoweverIamadvocatingtheuseof
CognitiveBehaviouralapproacheswithinLifeandBusinessCoachingasIwouldmaintain
thereisgreatvalueinthesemethods.Theycanbehelpfultopeoplewhoconsider
themselves,andareconsideredbyothers,entirelywellinadditiontothosewhoareill.

IbelievethatfurthervaluableworkcouldbedoneinexploringtheuseofCognitive
Behaviouraltechniquestofurtherenhanceallcreativeandpositivethought,aswellasin
substitutingunhelpfulforhelpfulthinking.

TomakeuseoftheseCBCmethodsprincipallyrequiresacoachtofocustheirskillson
helpingtheclientanalyseminutelytherealityoftheirthoughts,feelingsandbehavioursand
thenmethodicallymanagetheirchosenbeliefchangesattherightpace,whilstsupportingthe
clienttakingmassiveamountsofthedesiredkindsofaction.Thismayrequirethecoachand
clienttoworkingreatdetail,andperhapsataslowerpacethantheymayinitiallywishtoat
times,butIbelieveitcouldachievelastingintentionalchangeofhabitsfortheclient.

Iaminfavourofusinganymethodwhichcanhelphumanbeingsharnessourphenomenal
mentalandemotionalpowerforintentionalliving!Ifsomeofthosewayscomefrom
methodologyoriginallyemployedintherapysettingsthisisentirelyvalidprovidingthatwe
maintainaveryclearawarenessoftheprofessionalboundariesofcoaching.

Ihaveaconviction,bornefromexperience,that

whereverhumanbeingshaveatendencytolimitthemselvesbytheirthinking,

theycanalsofreethemselvesbyit!

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13 TheDiamondPathofCoaching
Amajorreasonformakingtheefforttohavecoachinginthefirstinstancemaywellbeto
alignmoreeffectivelywithonesgreatestpotential.Aswecometoseesowellincoaching,
justtalkingaboutsomethingdoesnotproduceresultscommitmenttoactionisrequiredto
reallyseepositivechange.Reflectingontheintentionalchangefacilitatedbycoachinghas
ledmetogeneratethisrepresentationofthejourneythatcanoccur:

DiamondPathofCoaching

Lowlevelofselfawareness
Graduallyincreasingselfawareness
Stillverymuchlockedintoonesinitialconditioning
Knowingwhatoneisgoodatbutnotfeelingtrulyfulfilled
Findingthesourcesofongoinginspirationandmotivation,
Comingintostrongerrelationshipwithoneself,onesdreamsandaspirationswith
increasingselfawarenessandsenseofchoicealigningoneselfwithonesvaluesbyonesactions.
Livingwithincreasingintentionality&willingnesstolearnfromallexperiencebothjoy&challenge
Livingmoreandmoreconfidentlyinaccordancewithonesindividualnature
whilstfindingamovingbalancewithinchangingconditions
Transformingalllimitingviewsofself/other
Highlyinspired&inspiringofcreativity
Livingoutonestruepotential
Fullyselfaware

Wherewestartmaybelargelydeterminedbyourdisposition,environment
andconditioning butwherewefinishisuptous!
Wegrowourowndiamonds!

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 SELECTBIBLIOGRAPHY

TheLifeCoachingHandbook, CurlyMartin,2001,CrownHousePublishing
CoActiveCoaching Whitworth,KimseyHouse&Sandahl,1998,DaviesBlack
BeYourOwnLifeCoach FionaHarrold,2000,Hodder&Stoughton
CoachingforPerformance JohnWhitmore,1992(3rd edition2003),NicholasBrealey
EffectiveCoaching MylesDowney,1st edinGB1999,OrionBusiness
AwakentheGiantWithin AnthonyRobbins,1991,Simon&Schuster
TheThirtyMinuteLifeCoach GerardODonovan&CurlyMartin,2000,CoachingAcademyUKLtd
LifeCoaching:ACognitiveBehaviouralApproach Neenan&Dryden,2002,BrunnerRoutledge
MindOverMood DGreenberger&CPadesky,1995,GuilfordPress
TheArtistsWay JuliaCameron,1995,Pan

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