Term Paper Guide

Mr. Torrance
Contents:
Page 1 Brief Outline of the FIVE steps of the Term Paper
Page 2 Expanded Descriptions of the FIVE steps and Paragraphs Guide
Pages 3 &4 Writing Guide, Pitfalls and Errors
Format, Style, Punctuation
Thesis and Topic Sentences
Concrete Evidence
Page 4 Final Draft Requirements
Page 5 Paragraphs in the Essay
Pages 5 - 7 Comment Sheets Explanations and Examples
Page 7 - 8 Footnotes Explanations and Examples
This is to be the biggest single assignment in the Fall Semester for AP and GATE classes. Each topic may
only have one student writing on it; in other words, each students Term Paper must be on a different topic.
GATE students are writing a comparison/contrast essay on any subject in history until the end of the
Modern Age; one of the two should be Non-Western, neither may be an American. Students may pick
individuals, cultures or an aspect of a culture such as: architecture, art, astronomy, clothing, family,
military, music, philosophy, physics, psychology, religion, science, women, etc.
AP students are writing a critique of one or two philosophers ideas or an analysis of a current or recent
political issue all topics must be approved before starting.
First come, first serve. Send an email to Mr. Torrance to pick your topic:

ljtorrance.weebly.com

Term Project FIVE Steps

(140 total points Project Grade)

STEP ONE: Research Notes (10 pt)

STEP TWO: Thesis (10 pt)

STEP THREE: Rough Draft (10 pt)

STEP FOUR: Three Comment Sheets

and A Self Critique (40 pt)
STEP FIVE: Final Draft (70 pt)
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Guide for Term Paper Project

Step 1 Research: AP students must write at least seven pages of notes. Both AP and
GATE students must use at least FIVE different Sources (at least two sources must not be
from the net) For each source include: Author, Title, Publisher, Place of Publication,Year
of Publication, and page numbers. Be sure to list the page numbers in your notes as you
write the notes.For the internet include: Title, Author, Date and Web Address.
GATE students must write all their notes on 35 or more note cards for Mrs. Cruz to grade.

Step 2 Thesis Statement: This is the single most important sentence in the
essay. This sentence indicates exactly what you are going to prove and lists the Main
arguments or evidence you will use to prove it. This sentence must be approved by the
Teacher before you can write your first draft, otherwise your rough draft will NOT be
accepted. Email Mr. Torrance to get approval, it may take several emails:

ljtorrance.weebly.com
Step 3 Rough Draft: This is your first draft of the essay. This must be at least
2,500 words. It must include at least 10 Footnotes or endnotes, with all five sources cited.
[See Step 1 above to see what each source must include]

Step 4 Comment Sheets: You must write critiques on THREE other

Students Rough Drafts, then a FOURTH which is only list of critical changes to your
own Term Paper.
The critiques on other students Rough Drafts must include:
THREE positive critical Comments each should be a couple of sentences
THREE critical Suggestions for improvement a couple of sentences each
Be sure to: 1 Ignore spelling, grammar and sentence structure errors
2 Make all comments meaningful and very specific
3 Do not make vague, trivial comments
4 Do not comment on their research, sources or footnotes
You must also use a colored ink pen to correct spelling, grammar and sentence structure
in your fellow students papers.
Your own Critique on your own paper is VERY DIFFERENT.
1 Just LIST TEN important changes you made in your paper
Write in complete sentences
2 Do not list spelling, grammar or sentence structure changes
3 Do not list typing errors or footnotes changes
4 Focus only on what you did to do to make your argument stronger

***SEE the Sample Comments Later in this packet***

Step 5 FINAL DRAFT: See the next page for the requirements
GATE students MUST DOUBLE SPACE all essays and the Term Paper,
Whereas, AP students should follow the format on the next page.
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Writing Guide, Pitfalls & Errors

A. Format, Style & Punctuation

1. Always use Times New Roman Font for the style, and Font Size 12.
2. Always use one inch margins at the top, bottom and sides. Do NOT use larger or smaller.
3. Indentations should always be one half inch up to one inch to begin EVERY paragraph.
4. Always use third person unless the directions specifically instruct you otherwise; do NOT use
first or second person (I, we, us, our, you).
5. Whenever referring to a philosopher, historical or other prominent person always use their last
name, NEVER their first name alone.
6. NEVER use colloquial words or phrases unless they are part of an essential quote.
7. NEVER use contractions.
8. Check to make sure the tenses are accurate: people that are in the past did things in the past,
though their ideas can be discussed in the present tense (Hobbes was right to claim that people
are born evil.).
9. Do NOT use name-calling or exaggerated disrespect for someone you disagree with it does not
add strength, instead it actually takes away strength.
10. Do NOT use profanity or other inappropriate language.

B. Thesis & Topic Sentences:

1. The Thesis states exactly what is to be proved in the paper and lists the evidence that will be
used in the body to support it.
2. All the key evidence that will appear in the body should be mentioned in the Thesis; in other
words, the body must match the Thesis. Everything in the Thesis must be discussed in the
body.
3. Clarity is much more important than having complex sentences.
4. NEVER pose Questions.
5. Keep statistics and details out of the Thesis, save them for the body of the paper.
6. NEVER use quotes in the Thesis, save them for the body.
7. Do not have citations of sources in the Thesis.
8. Topic sentences should be little thesis statements of what is coming in that paragraph only
instead of giving background information or other unnecessary information.
9. Topic sentences can refer to the previous paragraph, or the previous paragraph could end with
a hint of what the next paragraph will be about.
10. Always make sure your view is in each Topic Sentence to make it clear what you are trying to
prove in that paragraph.
11. Do not repeat the thesis or part of it in a topic sentence, find a different way of saying the same
thing if necessary. You could refer to a point made in the thesis without saying the whole thing
again, and in the same sentence introduce new information.
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C. Concrete Evidence:
1. Concrete Evidence is the strength of the paper, without it there is NO strength.
2. The Thesis must be supported by AT LEAST THREE pieces of concrete evidence.
3. The strongest evidence is historical fact, usually no other evidence is necessary.
4. Scientific Research can be used as evidence, though it can also be controversial or disputed.
5. Personal Experience can be very powerful, but it is also very limited. A thesis should never be
supported only by personal experience each person has different experiences and one may not
be better than another.
6. All key evidence to be discussed in the body should be mentioned in the Thesis, but not with too
much detail or explanation save all that for the body.
7. All evidence needs to be qualified properly, in other words, evidence needs to be clearly
connected to proving a point that supports the thesis.
8. The setting for historical evidence should be briefly mentioned, i.e. Who, What, When or
Where, or what larger event it was part of.
9. Evidence that does not support a point that strengthens the thesis should be DELETED.

Final Draft Requirements:

1. Must be neatly typed with one inch margins for top, bottom and sides
2. Must be typed in size 12 font using Times New Roman Font
3. Must be at least 2,500 words in clearly developed paragraphs (at least five sentences each)
4. Each paragraph must have the first line indented 5 to 10 spaces.
5. Single space all writing; except, be sure to skip one line between paragraphs
6. Must have at least 5 different sources in at least 10 or more Footnotes (End Notes)
*Two of the sources must not be from the internet*
*A few of the sources must be used in more than one Foot or End Note*
7. Do NOT put Final Draft into a folder, just staple it with your NAME and TITLE at the top
 Page 5

Paragraphs in the Essay

The Essay should have the following:
An Introduction: The first paragraph acquaints the reader with the topic. The last part of this first
paragraph has the thesis. The Thesis must be in the right place at the end of the first paragraph
in the first paragraph.

The Body: This is the bulk of the essay. It should be well-organized into clearly-developed paragraphs.
The average short paragraph should have at least five sentences. No paragraphs should be longer than a
page. Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence directly related to the thesis. Each paragraph
should be linked to the next paragraph logically. The thesis should clearly be proven in the body of the
essay.
The Body should contain concrete evidence in detail, and it should be specific for the most
part. For example, if you are writing on an artist you should describe several of his/her art
pieces in great detail to demonstrate the style or technique of that artist - which helps to prove
the thesis. Another example would be to use specific historical events, such as a key battle or
some other critical event. Arguments may be presented, but they should be demonstrated
with concrete examples. This is the strength of your essay. Your essay will be judged on the
evidence in the body: Did you prove the thesis? How strong was the support for your thesis?

Conclusion: Obviously this is the last paragraph. Do not use the word "conclusion" in the essay, it is
an insult to the reader and a cop-out for the writer. Do NOT repeat any sentences, including the thesis.
The Conclusion should do the following:
1. Affirm that the thesis has been proved (without copying it).
2. Summarize the body without repeating sentences.
3. Leave a lasting thought: a prediction, a quote or an idea. Do NOT end with an
unanswered question, instead you tell the reader what you want him/her to think.

Miscellaneous:
1. Be sure to include a Title.
2. No Cover is required, just staple the six or more pages together with your name on top.
3. Pictures, Diagrams and Maps can be included But they are not necessary and they
will not serve as a substitution for a lack of evidence in the Body.

Step Four: Comment Sheets

FOUR Comment Sheets are required: THREE on other students' papers and ONE self-critique:
Each comment sheet (or critique) should be written on a separate sheet of paper.
The one writing the critique must put his/her name at the top, then below it indicate whose paper is
being critiqued.
Only the person writing the critique is graded.
Both types of critiques are described in detail below.
The FOUR Comment Sheets make up 40 points of the 140 possible for Essay Term Paper Grade.
 Page 6

Critiques on other students' papers:

FIRST, use a colored pen (red or some other color, not black or blue) to:
Edit spelling, grammar, punctuation and footnotes in the Rough Draft you are reading
Make the marks directly on the Rough Draft.
SECOND, on a separate sheet of paper write your critique OR ***ONE*** comment sheet per email.
This should be done by dividing the sheet of paper in half.
On one half you are to make THREE specific positive comments that you like about the paper.
On the other half you are to make very THREE specific suggestions about how the student could
improve their paper.
You will be graded on how critical or perceptive your comments are.
You should take this very seriously.
Do not comment on grammar, spelling, punctuation or footnotes.
Focus on the thesis and whether it is sufficiently supported.
Are there ideas or terms mentioned, but not defined or explained?
What is missing? Is there an in-depth description of concrete details to demonstrate the
ideas, styles or principles discussed?
Is there too much biographical detail that has nothing to do with the thesis?
***Stay away from the Introduction and the Conclusion*** focus on the body***
Write several sentences for each comment.

Examples of positive comments:

1. I liked the way you described the battle of Thermopylae. You clearly showed the advantages of the hoplite
soldier with his superior armor against the Persians without such armor. You mentioned that most sword
and spear thrusts bounced or slid off the armor.
2. I liked the way you analyzed the "Mona Lisa" in detail. You explained how the face reveals something that
no other painting up to that time could, a smile that seems to hide secret thoughts. She seems to be thinking,
I know something that you dont know. And you pointed out how her eyes seem to follow the viewer.
3. I liked the example of Adolf Hitler's rise to power using Machiavelli's treacherous methods. Without
starting a war, or even causing a riot, Hitler was able to expand the borders of Germany to almost double its
original size by lying and making false alliances. He promised at the Munich Conference that all he wanted
was the German lands in Czechoslovakia, the Sudetenland, to be part of the German Nation. In return he
would not go after any other territory. Neville Chamberlain, the Prime Minister of England believed him
and the Allies made the deal to give Hitler this land. Chamberlain even bragged about this deal he made
that meant there would not be a war. Six months later Hitler broke his word and started World War II.

Examples of suggestions for changing the paper:

1. You mention the art piece, Guernica, but you did not describe how it demonstrates abstract art. What is in
the painting? Name details in it and what they mean. What message was Picasso trying to communicate in
this art piece?
2. You mention that Genghis Khan was superior to Alexander the Great in his strategies, but do not ever refer
back to this comparison in your paper. Why was Genghis Khan superior? You need to demonstrate in your
description of the battles how each strategy worked and why one was better than the other. When you
describe the deception Genghis Khan used, how was it different from Alexander the Great? Was the
geography a factor? Did Alexander the Great use this at all? Be sure to include the number of soldiers on
each side and types of weapons that made each particular strategy work.
 Page 7

3. You did a good job on describing Mozarts three new techniques in music, but you fail to do the same for
Beethoven. You need to identify three techniques in his music and discuss them in detail in the three works
of his that you cited. Instead, you gave a brief description of what the pieces were about. You did not
discuss any music techniques.

Self-Critique:
This is very different from other critiques
You are NOT going to list positive comments
Instead, make a LIST of 10 CHANGES that you made in the process of this
These changes should NOT have grammar, spelling, punctuation or footnotes listed
The only changes you should mention are important content changes, such as:
- changing your thesis
- deleting items that have nothing to do with your thesis
- adding new paragraphs
- adding detailed descriptions or in-depth analyses
- altering or correcting an argument
Each of the listed items should be described in detail, don't just say you changed a paragraph
Explain why you altered something

Examples of Self-Critique Changes:

1. I changed my thesis from saying that both generals were great - to making Octavian the superior
General because during my research I kept finding new strategies that Octavian used to win, such as
. and .. And even in battles where Octavian should have lost, he found
a way to win against the odds.
2. I added a detailed paragraph about Michelangelo's sculpture of "David" in order to show his
technique of bodily proportions. He made a smaller statue and put it in water and measured the water
displacement over time to correctly calculate the volume of the body. He also made the head and hands
larger proportionally to enhance the viewing of the giant 20 foot statue. Viewers do not realize these
distortions are present.
3. I deleted the three paragraphs of Hegel's life because they have nothing to do with proving my thesis.
They are just biographical information about his parents and his early childhood that did not really
influence his theories.
4. I combined the three short paragraphs on page three about three different battles into one well-
developed paragraph to better organize my paper. Those three paragraphs were only one or two
sentences each. I had already discussed two main battles in great detail, so these bits of information
were only to reinforce the importance of the main strategies used in the battles.

Footnotes (Endnotes):
Step ONE: Footnote Notations in the Text
Every paragraph should have a footnote notation if it contains any quotes, ideas, facts or information from a
source.
Usually only the Introduction and Conclusion paragraphs have no footnotes.
 Page 8
If everything in a paragraph is from one source, then there should only be one footnote notation at the end
of the paragraph.
If there is more than one source in a paragraph, then each source should have a footnote notation here and
there spread throughout the paragraph.
Footnote notations should be at the end of the quote, sentence or paragraph. They should be a half space up
- superscript.
Each Footnote notation should be a number - in order. Never repeat a number.

Sample Paragraphs with Footnote Notations (in red):

***Both of the following are taken from students Final Drafts with minor editing***

Sample A: If one is of the impression that there are many intermediate ancestors to man, one should take
notice of the following statement by an expert in the field: The fossils that decorate our family tree are so
scarce that there are still more scientists than specimens. The remarkable fact is that all the physical
evidence we have for human evolution can still be placed with room to spare inside a single coffin.1
Sample B: In a 1979 preliminary microwear study of Australopithecus fossil teeth, anthropologist Alan
Walker theorized that robust australopiths were largely frugivorous.6 However, newer methods of
studying fossils have suggested the possibility that Australopithecus was omnivorous. In 1992, trace
element studies of the strontium/calcium ratios in robust australopith fossils suggested the possibility of
animal consumption, as they did in 1994 using stable carbon isotopic analysis.7 Australopithecus mainly
ate fruit, vegetables, and tubers.

Step TWO: Listing the sources in the Endnotes:

Footnotes belong at the bottom of each page, however, because Endnotes are simpler and easier,
use Endnotes instead
Endnotes are listed on a separate page at the end of the paper
For each Footnote notation in the Text you must list the number and indicate the source
Indent, then type the Footnote notation a half space up (if possible); then type in the source

Sample End Notes at End of Essay

1. Author [last name first, then first name], Title of Book [in italics, or, if it is an article in an encyclopedia
then use quotation marks and then give the title of the encyclopedia in italics], then use parenthesis for Publisher,
Place of Publication and Year as follows (Publisher's Name, Place of Publication; year of Publication), then the page
numbers.
2. Author [even if it is an article from the internet you must use the author's name; if it is from an
encyclopedia then use the editor in chief's name], Title of article in quotation marks [for internet articles], Date [for
the internet article], then Internet Address.
3. Ibid., page #. [This means "same as the last footnote" above]
5. Last Name [***of the source quoted above, but not from the last one used*** if the name cannot be
found in an internet article, then use a short title], page #.

I hope the above helps, if you have any other questions please email me:
ljtorrance.weekbly.com