Kelly Eckard

Professor: Rebecca Miner

English 2010

Draft The Profile Project

07/03/2017

Entitled Adulting

Its late, its nearly 10:30 P.M. and its been a long day. She is about 10 minutes away from
home and the anxiety is starting to turn in her stomach. What kind of argument will she get to
look forward to when she gets home? What kind of ridiculous accusations will he come up with
tonight after this long day of work and school?

Im sure the kids arent fed and are running around like wild animals, she thinks. She stops
herself, she did ask to have the kids bathed and fed before she got home, knowing it would be a
typical late school night. But he is forgetful; would he have remembered this time or forgotten
like all of the other times?

Yep hes drinking as always. Hes not mad today though. Hes in a good mood and wants to
chat. But about the political campaign! She is so tired of hearing the same old story over and
over. Shell listen to what he has to say. Thats what couples do for each other, they listen and
communicate. They sacrifice for each other even if its exhaustion and she just wants to go to
sleep.

When it comes to creating successful relationships, you need certain critical traits in place.
Traits not just merely present, but existing in a real and genuine way that emanates from each
partner through their own want (not because someone is complaining). The moment give and
take becomes forced, resentment and disconnection surface and your relationship suffers
(Orlando, 2016) .
It wasnt always like that, not in the beginning. In the beginning it was lovetrue love. The
love you see in movies. But his narcissistic behaviors and entitled ways began to draw a wedge
between this happy and loving couple. Kind gestures in the beginning were accepted with grace.
In the end gratitude became expectations.

When someone feels entitled to something, theres little need for gratitude: I dont need to thank
someone; I deserved the gift. In fact, these people are lucky to have me around. Im amazing.
Entitlement is virtually the opposite of gratitude: as I feel more entitled, my gratitude shrinks in
proportion (Elmore, 2014).

You see in the beginning it was gaga goo-goo over each other. They saw the sun rise and set in
each others eyes and saw the other as completely flawless.

Here is a typical day in the life of these hopeless romantics.

The steam is rolling through the bathroom; he is getting ready for his 12 hour shift in the bitter
cold. Its so cold, hot coffee will freeze to the touch of the cold air.

She is the type that gets up at 4 A.M., five hours before her shift. Not because she is a morning
person but because she cares about him. She cares enough to brush the snow off of his truck in
the bitter cold January mornings and start his heater in the vehicle. Shes still asleep but she
keeps going for him. Just before she steps out into the frost she fluffs the dryer with his daily
clothes in it to have them warm before he leaves for the day.

As he is walking out of the door she gives him a warm kiss and hugs and wishes him a good day
while handing off a homemade breakfast croissant sandwich. Its more than just a microwave
Jimmy Dean but a giant croissant with melted ham egg and cheese.

When in a relationship you have two beings that connect. Most of us want a relationship that
will last, yet 53% of marriages in the U.S., 48% in Canada, 47% in the U.K., and 43% in
Australia end in divorce (Ni, 2012).

As mentioned before things changed, breakfast sandwiches and nice gestures became expected.
It was as though she was dealing with the entitled generation. Was this behavior a learned
behavior? Generation Me: We live in a time when high self-esteem is encouraged from
childhood, when young people have more freedom and independence than ever, but also far
more depression, anxiety, cynicism, and loneliness... More than any other generation in history,
the children of Baby Boomers are disappointed by what they find when they arrive at adulthood"
(Twenge, Unlisted).

Red flags you are in a relationship with someone who feels entitled are:

The rules are made to be broken mentality. People with self-entitlement issues will never accept
your excuse but they will always expect you to accept theres no matter how unconvincing it is.
They feel they are above the rules and that rules do not apply to them.

A person with self-entitlement issues has the right to say no but noone else can say no to them.
They wont think about how inconvenient anything is for you but if you ask them to do
something they will always feel put out.

They never feel as though they are superior. No matter how much you do for them they will
always have done more for you in their mind, even when they havent. If you have done 100
things for them and they have done 5 things for you then you are even and their deeds match out
do your 100. They also will want a public announcement about every nice thing they do, no
matter how big or small. They have a glory-hound mentality.

Those with entitlement issues expect all of you attention and will drain you emotionally. They
expect you to be there for them and that daily stories are more important than anyone elses. If
you have a problem you can expect them to only be partially engaged in whats bothering you
because your problems or excitement arent as important as theirs.

With someone with entitlement issues dont expect logic or talking to do any good. They will
only get defensive, steer the conversation in another direction, go on the attack or try to make
you the bad guy (Adelle, 2016).
Works Cited

Adelle, S. (2016). Love Life Coaching With Sarah and Sophia. Retrieved from
http://relationshipsreality.com/signs-of-self-entitlement-issues-in-relationships/

Elmore, T. (2014, May 15). Growing Leaders Inc. Retrieved from

https://growingleaders.com/blog/inverse-relationship-gratitude-entitlement/

Ni, P. M. (2012, October 07). Psychology Today. Retrieved from

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201210/7-keys-long-term-
relationship-success

Orlando, C. J. (2016, October 12). Huffington Post. Retrieved from 12 Commandments Of

Happy, Long-Lasting Relationships: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/yourtango/12-
commandments-of-happy-relationships_b_8222190.html

Twenge, J. (Unlisted). Dr. Jean Twenge. Retrieved from

http://www.jeantwenge.com/html/Books.html