No need to write this information

its drawbacks.

Excellent intro!

immense ( wrong here)

Its undeniable that disease

transfer

from a generation to another is

immensely common( It has to be a
full sentence); ..

which may end/ destroy their

lives.

. Therefore, ( please do not

overuse the semicolon : )

Many parents

illnesses

Modern medicine together with

technology

the genes of babies

knowing about family history, understanding the history of families,

Most people

immigerate from one country to another; this leads to having generation who knows
too little about ..

You tend to over-use the gerund ( leading to , contributing to )

to the loss of identity..

the internet

people not persons

detect is a wrong word, you can use find, realize, encounter, discover)
 Change Also

strengthened/ enhanced better

than increased

The ideas isnt clear here

a debatable issue

avoid is a better word than inhibit (

avoiding transferring diseases to the
new generations.)

diseases

Just again, you have focus on using new words at the expense of accuracy. Your vocab range is
excellent; However, you need to try as much as you can to use it accurately. Id go with band 6 (
Sorry).