Life is nothing less than an illusion.

Whatever we do at the present is a consequence

of the past. Our mind never sticks to any single idea. Our daily action puts another
brick in the wall of future. In very simple words, we are never very sure about the
present. Our regular chores have different effects on what is about to come. We think
about the time when we took a certain step in the past and realize that we ended up
landing somewhere we did not intend to. A final product may be completely different
and may not have any relevance to the beginning.
Suppose we are making a painting with certain colours and we accidentally spill a
different colour on it. This unwanted different colour may spoil the whole painting
or may produce a different new random idea in our mind. Thus, what our reality had
to be did not happen and it got distorted. If this different colour spoilt the whole
painting, we can term the present to have become gray but if this same colour has
added new life to the painting, we can say that we have come out of the gray.
Although the term gray puts up a dull image of life, we can conceive it in either
ways, going into the gray or coming out of it. An architects life, creating new
designs, meeting new people, getting to know more of the hidden world every day
thus produces a grayish illusion every time, knowing not what every second, every
moment has in store in life. So the question here is that does this phase of our life
actually signify reality? Consciousness? Or is this too an illusion or GRAY, where
we, without our knowledge are set on a prefabricated path that restricts our free
thought process? If the only known phase of our life that gives us happiness or
satisfaction is fake then how come we achieve true satisfaction? How come this
phase stops for everyone at some time or other? This has only one answer.... Our
whole life is an illusion.

Time flows so fast. A warm sun welcomed the day as I sat in my cab leaving for
Leh. A dreamy feeling came upon my mind and my eyes were beginning to close. It
has been three years since I joined School of Architecture and Landscape Design,
SMVDU, three years back and still I remember the first day of my college as if it
happened yesterday. My mind was blank. I was not bothered by the feeling that I
was moving to an unknown place. All I knew that I was tired and then everything
faded.
The next vibrant memory was of Leh Old town, the dry brown mountains, its clear
blue sky and the most remarkable Leh Palace. Evening was drawing near and the
weak light in the sky declared the close of the day. My journey ended as I reported
to my office. After a few moments of waiting, my boss came. I was introduced to
my colleagues and wished good luck. I gulped my saliva as a sudden feeling of
nervousness struck me. The first day at office came to an end with no remarkable
element in it. As I came out of the office, I was told of the works that had to be done
the next day. I had little idea of the office or the way of life there but I had already
begun to admire the surroundings, the serene city and calm minded people.
I got up the next day and opened the windows to let the fresh air come in. The bright
morning light had an extremely different effect on the town. The mountains shining
and the sky, which never had seemed brighter before. I got ready and proceeded to
my workplace. The feeling of surveying a house in a place having an entirely
different culture filled my mind with excitement. I reached Dukhangpa, a typical
Ladakhi house and our team started the work. Before beginning the survey of the
house, I planned to have a look at the whole of the house. I worked my way through
the narrow lanes of the dilapidated structure, each step ahead formed blurred images
of the kind of
livelihood
people led
before
abandoning the
house. We
started from
the ground
floor of the
house, the low
height roofs
created images
of short
Buddhist
people who
once dwelled
in that very
place. The
walls were
thick and made
of rammed
earth and rocks. Timber was customarily used for the columns and roofs. As I
journeyed into the deep details of the house, clearer images formed in my mind. I
felt as if vague human forms were roaming about inside the house. I could see them
keeping their cattle and goods in the ground floor. As I stepped ahead towards the
first floor, I felt as if I am none but a manifestation of a resident of the house. It was
nothing but my own house and I moved towards the kitchen, surveying every detail
that lay within. Perhaps it was the first kitchen with provisions for sitting and
sleeping that I was encountering. It's not just random, but it was the requirement that
led to construction of such kitchens. At places with such cold and dry climate type,
main objective is to trap more and more heat with lesser amount spend on fuel or
energy. The traditional way is to use the heat generated while cooking to heat a room.
The store room door was just behind the cooking spot for ease of access. This culture
here is centuries old and still is cultivated by the people of Leh with slight
modifications.
A glimpse of the past came into my mind when food was being cooked in the stove
and the fire in the stove warmed the whole room. Despite the weather being cold,
my thoughts made me warm. The homely feeling that was produced within me filled
me with a sense of sudden happiness. I could see my near and dear ones within the
house, smiling and cheerfully enjoying every passing moment in the chilling climate.
I looked about here and there, carefully reading the details as I entered the toilets of
the house. The toilets used in such houses have dry pits instead of WCs, which is
eco-friendly as it reuses human waste to irrigate or fertilise the soil as well as saves
the water used for flushing the excreta. The concept of dry pit was such that a dry
pit was used for the purpose of excreting and then sand was poured into the pit to
maintain cleanliness and hygiene. The excreta was stored in a pit which was further
used for fertilisation of lands.
My legs were trembling due to the cold but I worked my way to the terrace of the
house. The terrace of a typical house of Leh old town in itself had a lot of planning
involved in it. In a climate like Leh, the terrace is the part of the house receiving heat
from sunlight throughout the day. Now since part of the planning included south
facing openings and entry, hence the activities including need of sunlight were
carried out in the terrace. These activities primarily included drying of vegetables to
preserving them, on the other hand proper care was taken to prevent cold entering
the house and hence proper insulating layers were provided in the terrace area ,
including layers of earth and yakzes grass(cannot be destroyed by insects) over
wooden frame. The traditional belief of locals is that more gratitude and tribute can
be paid to God by placing the worship place or temple at a higher altitude of the
house, hence generally temples were placed on the terrace of the house. I could hear
sermons being sung as I went for the prayers. I closed my eyes. The sense of divinity
I witnessed from the tranquility that existed. And for a moment, I gazed at the room
with astonishment. It felt great. It felt like paradise. I was in the abode of the
almighty. And all of a sudden, I heard voices calling my name. Faint voices which
grew louder and louder as if someone was approaching me. I was concentrating on
the sermons, my eyes still closed. All of a sudden, I felt a force upon my shoulders
jerking me. I could hear my name cleared now and all of a sudden, my eyes opened
and I faced reality. The divinity was gone and I experienced the dilapidated condition
right in front of me.
The survey of the house was completed after a number of visits and it was a great
experience for me. I was back to my room but my mind repeatedly told me that there
was some sort of incompleteness. I learnt a lot about Ladakhi houses but I felt that I
needed to know about the town as well. One of the main feature that had always
mesmerized me was the city wall which marked the periphery of the Leh Old Town.
Moving about and knowing the city was a beautiful experience, especially after I
had learnt a little of the town. Although the wall does not exist at present, my active
mind had been used to thinking and forming images and then getting lost somewhere
deep in thoughts. The map of Leh shows a red line which indicates the position of
the boundary wall, which connected four stupa gates (depicted by a white circle
within black box), which were purposely built so that no evil forces could enter the
boundary of the kingdom.
Today, the town has expanded
beyond the limits of that wall.
On one side of the wall exists
the present Leh New town
whereas the other and smaller
side of the wall has the Leh
Old town which houses the
Leh Old Palace. The wall had
been in existence many years
ago but after reading so many
texts and hearing so much
from different people at
different times, I felt I could
see the wall right in front of me. I could see how the town was safe within the borders
of the wall. Foreign forces had difficulty setting eyes upon the city because of this
wall. However, the non-existence of the wall had put the town in danger. Now only
the stupa gates exist, the city wall exists only in the memory of those who study Leh
in detail. There was never any attempt perhaps to protect the wall which had
safeguarded the town for years. The importance of the wall had been lost with time.
The worsening conditions of the house, degrading conditions of the people, the once
existing city wall had created a dull and blurred image in my mind. I felt that I was
surrounded by an envelope of gray. Old and
traditional structures that existed succumbed to
the modern architecture that had lately come up.
Although these newly created houses were
sustainable and strong, the concrete seemed to
have put up a gray in the architecture and left a
deep scar in the tradition of Leh.
Every bit of knowledge about Ladakh and the
deteriorating condition of its structures
developed an immense interest in the heritage
walk which was a daily promotional activity of
Lalas caf, which was a centre for the
promotion of the culture, heritage and
architecture of Leh among the masses and my
mind showed me dreams of being an integral part of the walk. In fact, I was
obsessed by this heritage walk at a certain point of time. I fantasised myself as a
tourist in this heritage walk, but did not know that my fate had something else in
store for me.
Boss called me to his room one evening and began asking me questions about what
all I had learnt so far in Leh- its heritage, its traditions and its architecture. Several
questions were running through my mind, trying to figure out the reason for his
sudden interest in asking such questions to me. Now I think of that time, I cannot
remember how I felt, in simple words, it was an awfully strange feeling. He might
have understood what was going through in my mind and so finally, he let out the
answer to my questions. He talked to me about certain circumstances that had piled
up in the office and said that he wanted me to lead our group in the heritage walk
which was about to begin in a short time. I never expected something of this sort
would happen. I was nervous, though excited. Despite all, I was more than happy
hearing compliments from him and his level of trust in me.
I was impatient about the heritage walk. My mind seemed to play games with me.
The walk was about to start in five minutes but every passing moment seemed to
pull away the walk from me. But finally the wait was over and we headed towards
Lalas caf. As I moved through the narrow alleys of the town leading the walk, I
shared every bit of knowledge I had with my fellow counterparts. Three years of
architecture education helped me explain various other facts simply by
observation. In my days of work at office, I came in touch with many people who
were themselves masters in their respective field. Many were from foreign lands
who described me of the architecture of their own lands. My regular discussions
with all of them left me a lot more exposed to the field of architecture. I felt I grew,
not as a person but as an architect.

My days at Leh had come to an end and as I stood at the terrace, facing the setting
sun trying to capture the last rays of warmth, a sudden thought changed back my
mind. My life, since I came to Leh had went through an immense change. The life I
was living at college was incomplete in contrast with the style of life here at Leh.
Far behind lied my college with memories of the quality time spent there and here,
away from all those memories I stood on the terrace of a house in Leh, where
modernization has laid its hands on but is unable to swipe away the cultures and
tradition that are being practiced since ages. Where the rituals still sleep in the cradle
of Mother Nature peacefully, unharmed. There are both pros and cons of both the
life, but I am unable to decide among the two. Is the life here at Leh better than my
life in my college? Or is it the other way round? Was coming to Leh, getting
introduced to an all new, rich and diverse culture my destiny or was it something
pre-planned as it is a part of my duty that I had to fulfill ? Or could I have experienced
such social, natural and architectural marvels had not a compulsory internship been
a part of college? I was still confused and surrounded by questions when I hear a
loud shout from the ground floor " come on Vivek, it's high time, we should be back
now'', it was my colleague calling me. With a sense of having unanswered questions
and incomplete thoughts I moved towards my office.
What is life? Its said that life has a circle of its own but amazingly it has ends too,
a beginning and of course an end. I was trying to look for a beginning, beginning of
all the thought process. Yes, this is life, a man sitting under a tree, bright sunshine
falling off him at parts of day followed by shades of gray. And then, sweeps in the
night and covers every bit of light in its arms of darkness. Nothing is stable or
stationary in life and any phase can be gray with respect to another, hence, an illusion
is created where uncertainty and certainty coexist but it is all unknown to us when it
all starts. When did it start for me? Is it the time when I joined my college or the
time when I began my journey for my professional practice. Nothing is certain !!!