Académique Documents
Professionnel Documents
Culture Documents
Christopher Braga
Marriage, left at the altar
Scriptures taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright
1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights
reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The NIV and New International Version
are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica,
Inc.
Some images used under the fair dealing provisions for criticism provided by the
Copyright Act 1968.
Copyright 2017 Christopher Braga.
Cover image: AndyCandy/Bigstock.com.
2
Crossroads
Our society is about to decide whether or not we walk away from
marriage. This has come about because of our cultures desire to
accept and give dignity to same-sex couples. Why not give everyone
equal access to marriage? Why not see marriage as an affirmation of
love, whatever the sex of the people involved? As you read, my goal is
to show that same-sex attracted people have real dignity and accept-
ance in Jesus, and that same-sex marriage is an abandonment of
marriage and the good it brings to society. My intent is to leave you
challenged and informed.
3
2. The Bible on marriage, singleness
and same-sex attraction
Given the Bibles good news for everyone, what does it say about
marriage, singleness and same-sex attraction?
Marriage
a) A God-given gift
Firstly, marriage was created by God as his gift to humanity as part
of his plan for us to live in relationship with each other and rule the
world under his authority (Gen 1-2). Marriage and sex are good parts
of Gods creation and the means by which the human race populates
the world and continues into the future (Gen 1:28; Ps 78:5-7).
Jesus teaches that it is God who legitimises a marriage since it
is his gift: therefore what God has joined together, let no one sepa-
rate (Matt 19:6). The Anglican wedding service reflects Gods work
in marriage: For be assured that those who marry otherwise than
Gods word allows are not joined together by God, neither is their
matrimony lawful in his sight.1
b) A celebration of difference
Secondly, in creating humanity, God made us equal, but different:
he made us male and female, and it was good (Gen 1:27-31). Jesus
ties marriage to this differentiation of the sexes: Havent you read
that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female
(Matt 19:4). Christians rejoice in this differentiation of the sexes
(1 Cor 11:3-6) and view marriage as the coming together of a man
and a woman who are gifted by God with a new bond of oneness
4
(Gen 2:22-25). Jesus teaches that
marriage is between one man and
one woman based on their differ-
entiation: For this reason a man
will leave his father and mother
and be united to his wife, and the
two will become one flesh (Matt
19:5; cf. Gen 2:23-24).
Marriage is the expression of
sexual diversity: every marriage
has one man and one woman. In
the same way ballroom dancing
depends on the differentiation of
partners, marriage is a dance of
Sometimes difference is important! equal but sexually differentiated
partners.
The man and woman are called to serve each other as comple-
mentary equals (1 Cor 11:11-12), but in different ways as husband
and wife: the husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church
(Eph 5:25-26) and the wife to voluntarily submit to the leadership of
her husband (Eph 5:22-23; 1 Pet 3:1).
c) An exclusive relationship
Thirdly, Jesus understands Gods intention for marriage to be an ex-
clusive relationship where the man and woman are sexually faithful
to each other (Matt 19:5,18).
e) A permanent relationship
Fifthly, Gods purpose for marriage is that it would be permanent,
ending only when one of the parties dies. The other is then free to
marry (1 Cor 7:39). And while the Old Testament law allowed for
divorce (Deut 24), Jesus reinforced that this was not Gods inten-
tion, merely a concession because of hard hearts (Matt 19:1-11). The
disciples of Jesus saw that it might be better not to marry given his
teaching (Matt 19:10). While the disciples baulk at marriage, the
only other option that Jesus presents is celibacy (Matt 19:11-12).
f) A union of sinners
Sixthly, the reality of sin affects marriages in a multiplicity of ways:
selfishness, violence, isolation and unfaithfulness are just some
expressions of sin. Sometimes this ultimately leads to the parties
separating or the breaking of the marriage relationship in divorce.
These are all the sad realities of sin, none of which are part of Gods
good purpose of love within a permanent, committed, exclusive and
other-person-centred relationship between a man and a woman.
13
f) Because voting No reduces state involvement in fami-
lies
Same-sex couples are by nature sterile and will look to third parties
to form a family. In separating the bearing of children from mar-
riage, families will become even more fragmented, and the state will
need to intervene to structure family, determining who is and who
is not acceptable as parents to the child. The state will be the one
forming families as it sets policy on the determination of legal par-
enthood, sperm donation, egg harvesting, adoption and surrogacy.6
14
Marriage equality is an emotive claim that paints those who disagree as unjust.
Photo credit: mjmediabox/Alamy Stock Photo.
15
j) Because voting No helps prevent marriage from being
further redefined using the same arguments of marriage
equality and love is love
The slogans love is love, marriage equality and advancing
fairness do nothing to protect marriage against polygamy, sexual
promiscuity, increased divorced, incest and the marriage of minors.
If the state sees itself as merely affirming someones romantic love
for another, then this change to the Marriage Act paves the way for
future change.
6. Objections to voting no
There are obviously reasons for voting Yes. I want to present those
reasons and respond to them.
18
other person, marriage also discriminates against the young, cer-
tain blood relations, multiple marriages and requires the acceptance
of the other person. People dont have a right to marry whomever
they want, or love, but only those within these boundaries. The right
to marry is not an absolute right, but one that is restricted by our
understanding of what marriage is. If marriage rightly involves sex-
ual differentiation, then there is no right to marry when it contra-
venes this requirement. Merely calling denial of same-sex marriage
discriminatory is not an argument, its just name-calling.
19
e) We should accept people for who they are.
Acknowledging, accepting and showing dignity to someone who is
in a same-sex relationship and wishes to commit to their partner,
doesnt mean you must call their relationship a marriage. There
are same-sex couples who believe marriage is between a man and a
woman and dont have this issue of feeling the need to be accepted
through the states definition of marriage.15
21
j) I have friends who are in a same-sex relationship. I dont
want them to think I am against them, and if they found
out I voted no, it would hurt my relationship with them.
Firstly, the vote is secret. There is no need to tell them; you can just
say, My relationship with you is more important than this issue.
Secondly, the vote isnt on your feelings for the person; your decision
needs to be for the good of society and future generations. Public
policy needs to consider the broader context, not an individual case.
Unfortunately, your friends have made your acceptability with them
based on how you vote on this issue, which is sad and manipulative.
22
l) Not every child needs a mother and father.
While there are many children who havent been raised by their bi-
ological parents, it is unjust that children shouldnt be given every
opportunity to experience life with their own mother and father.
This is Gods natural ordering of our world where a child knows, is
loved by and intimately connected with the ones who gave them life.
23
n) Voting no shows you are a hateful, homophobic
bigot.
Labelling someone as hateful, homophobic or a bigot is usually an
attempt to discredit their argument, make them feel threatened and
create an excuse not to engage in rational debate.16 It is merely name-
calling to make people feel bad about their opinions. Labelling peo-
ple just because they dont agree with you is, ironically, bigotry.
Rejecting the redefinition of marriage doesnt mean you are neces-
sarily homophobic or bigoted. A bigot is intolerant towards those
holding different opinions, not merely holding a different opinion.
Someone who is homophobic fears or hates homosexuals. Christians
love all people, but dont approve of sinful behaviour (Rom 13:12-
14). If being homophobic means fearing the outcomes of same-sex
marriage, then it would be better to debate those outcomes.
25
w) Same-sex couples need marriage to provide recogni-
tion to the partner of a person. Its about them being able
to do simple things such as close bank accounts and access
to superannuation on the death of their partner.
Redefining marriage isnt the only way to achieve this outcome. Why
damage one thing to achieve another?
27
Appendix A: Responses to questions
and issues
a) I think I might be gay/lesbian. What should I do?
Since the pathway our world gives people with same-sex attraction
is so different to the pathway Jesus wants people to take, the best
thing is to find others who can help you walk the path that Jesus
wants you to take. See also the list of resources in Appendix B.
28
e) Is it okay to vote Yes as a Christian?
Life is often more complex than giving a simple rule such as It is
wrong to vote Yes . My goal has been to give a persuasive case for
the no case and leave the decision with you.
29
i) Doesnt ART (Assisted Reproductive Technology) already
mean that biological parents are already considered unim-
portant?
Certain ARTs do work to disconnect children from their biological
parents, but this is not a good thing. The desire to have a child isnt
something that ought to be fulfilled by whatever means necessary,
even if we have the technology to do so.
30
l) Isnt same-sex marriage a human right?
No it is not. Marriage as defined as being between a man and a
woman is a human right, but marriage between same-sex couples
is not. The United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights
(1948)19 states that Men and women of full age, without any limita-
tion due to race, nationality or religion, have the right to marry and
to found a family.20
r) Im sick of this issue, why not vote Yes and make this
issue go away?
While the issue of the legality of same-sex marriage will disappear,
the sexual revisionism and removal of gender in all aspects of so-
ciety will advance further. The next targets are: the removal of
the need for Family Court approval for children accessing trans-
gender hormone treatment, blood equality where gay men are al-
lowed to donate blood and the Safe Schools Program. As Nic Holas
says regarding same-sex marriage, If, however, it symbolises a sort
of end point, rather than a step in the long road to liberation - and
true equality, then we have sold Australia a lie, and ourselves down
the river.24 Marriage Equlity is just symbolic victory on a broader
agenda of societal change which will be given energy by a Yes vote.
33
u) Shouldnt I just vote for what everyone else wants?
No. This survey is to find out what you think should happen to the
definition of marriage. Anyway, you wont know until after the sur-
vey what everyone else wants.
34
x) Is this whole debate a surprise?
No. This debate is the outworking of an understanding of humanity
that does not consider the God who made us and accepts us in the
gospel. As Australians move further away from their Christian her-
itage, it is no surprise that this debate is taking place. People have
already abandoned Christian sexual morals and this revision is just
another step in the rejection of Gods good pattern of life for hu-
manity. While people dont live with Jesus as their Lord and Saviour,
nothing is a great surprise.
The real surprise is when peo-
ple are transformed by the message
of Jesus (2 Cor 4:5-6). The most im-
portant relationship a person can
have is with their Heavenly Father,
based on Jesus mercy. Our mes-
sage as Christians is one of uncon-
ditional love and acceptance to the
sinner. This message is not of mor-
alism, but of freedom where people
have a new relationship with God
where their whole lives, including
their sexual activity, comes into
conformity with Gods will and As more people move away from a
where they live to please him with Christian world-view the idea that mar-
riage could be between people of the
their bodies (1 Thess 4:1-8). same sex is no surprise.
On same-sex marriage
A letter to the Prime Minister in 2015 from religious leaders:
https://www.sydneycatholic.org/pdf/Letter%20to%20PM%20from%20Faith%20Lead-
ers%20Supporting%20Marriage%2005%2006%2015.pdf
37
Endnotes
1
An Australian Prayer Book, Church of England in Australia, 1978 page 549.
2
Elizabeth M. Morgan, Contemporary Issues in Sexual Orientation and Identity Devel-
opment in Emerging Adulthood, Sage Journals, 1 March 2013: http://journals.sagepub.com/
doi/full/10.1177/2167696812469187. Accessed 7 September 2017.
3
There are some great stories of Christian living life as celibate, same-sex attracted
people here: http://www.livingout.org/stories.
4
The Universal Declaration of Human Rights http://www.un.org/en/universal-declaration-hu-
man-rights/. Accessed 18 August 2017.
5
Lindsay Murdoch, Australian couple leaves Down syndrome baby with Thai surro-
gate, Sydney Morning Herald, 1 August 2014: http://www.smh.com.au/national/australian-
couple-leaves-down-syndrome-baby-with-thai-surrogate-20140731-zz3xp.html. Accessed 7 Sep-
tember 2017.
6
This regulation is already seen in the policies of the Australian Equality Party: https://
equality.org.au/policy/#aep_policy_05 Accessed 14 August 2017.
7
Natasha Bita, Safe Schools Coalition: sexual politics in the classroom, The Austra-
lian, 13 February 2016: http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/inquirer/safe-schools-coalition-
sexual-politics-in-the-classroom/news-story/bf58ff141ba0b08bf165e3d53cc8a055. Accessed 14
August 2017.
8
Fergus Hunter, At least Im not a homophobe: Bill Shorten in tense exchange with
Cory Bernardi, Sydney Morning Herald, 24 February 2016: http://www.smh.com.au/fed-
eral-politics/political-news/at-least-im-not-a-homophobe-bill-shorten-in-tense-exchange-with-cory-
bernardi-20160223-gn1xdl.html. Accessed 7 September 2017.
9
Anti-discrimination complaint an attempt to silence the Church over same-sex
marriage, Hobart Archbishop says, ABC News, 28 September 2015: http://www.abc.
net.au/news/2015-09-28/anti-discrimination-complaint-an-attempt-to-silence-the-church/6810276.
Accessed 7 September 2017.
10
Safety fears at Christian charities force board security, The Australian, 28 March
2017: http://www.theaustralian.com.au/national-affairs/safety-fears-force-board-security-at-chari-
ties/news-story/2b1b9ec518c20348a045236cfd413000. Accessed 12 August 2017.
Gay rights activist Michael Barnett turns on Christian academic, The Australian, 29
March 2017: http://www.theaustralian.com.au/higher-education/gay-rights-activist-michael-bar-
nett-turns-on-christian-academic/news-story/ba36cfd3c967370371f8b9edb3f69dec. Accessed 12
August 2017.
John Sandeman, ACL event forced from hotel after social media campaign, Eternity
News, 17 September 2016: https://www.eternitynews.com.au/australia/acl-event-forced-from-ho-
tel-after-social-media-campaign/. Accessed 12 August 2017.
11
Anne Lim, Battle over same-sex marriage exemptions, Eternity News, 25 January,
2017: https://www.eternitynews.com.au/australia/battle-over-same-sex-marriage-exemptions/.
Accessed 14 August 2017
12
The Same-Sex Relationships (Equal Treatment in Commonwealth LawsGeneral
38
Law Reform) Act 2008 removed discrimination against same-sex couples and any depen-
dent children from Commonwealth programs and laws.
13
http://www.scoop.co.nz/stories/HL1304/S00144/the-symbolic-victory-of-same-sex-marriage.htm Ac-
cessed 9 September 2017
14
Only women can play womens tennis: http://www.wtatennis.com/sites/default/files/rules2017.
pdf, p. 248. Accessed 8 September 2017. Only women are welcome at Fernwood Womens
Health Clubs.
15
Julia Holman, The gay couple who oppose same-sex marriage, http://www.abc.net.au/
news/2017-09-04/the-gay-couple-who-oppose-same-sex-marriage/8871118 Accessed 9 August 2017.
16
Lindsay Beyerstein, If You Oppose Equal Marriage, You Are a Bigot, Big Think, April
2010: http://bigthink.com/focal-point/if-you-oppose-equal-marriage-you-are-a-bigot. Accessed 14
August 2017.
17
James Massola, I hold you responsible for every hurtful bit of filth this debate will un-
leash: Bill Shorten puts Malcolm Turnbull on notice, Sydney Morning Herald, 10 August
2017: http://www.smh.com.au/federal-politics/political-news/labor-and-bill-shorten-to-pull-out-all-the-
stops-and-campaign-for-a-yes-vote-on-samesex-marriage-20170810-gxt54g.html. Accessed 12 August,
2017.
1
8 Miranda Devine, Equality or hypocrisy? The big lie of the antiplebiscite campaign, 28
March 2017, Daily Telegraph: http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/rendezview/miranda-devine-equal-
ity-or-hypocrisy-the-big-lie-of-antiplebiscite-campaign/news-story/c93b78cab610cd252b43fa4863a86ca8.
Accessed 14 August 2017.
19
The Universal Declaration of Human Rights: http://www.un.org/en/universal-declaration-hu-
man-rights/. Accessed 18 August 2017. See also the ruling in Northern Island: https://www.
lifesitenews.com/news/court-deals-blow-to-same-sex-marriage-backers-in-northern-ire-
land. Accessed 8 September 2017
20
It is clear that the right is for the man and woman of full age to marry each other. It is not
that men and women of full age have the right to marry anyone. If sexual differentiation
wasnt important, then the authors would have written all people or words to that effect.
The rejection of same-sex marriage in this definition is clear in that the formation of a
family is one of the rights established and connected with the marriage itself. This right to
found a family isnt despite biology, but because of it. Furthermore, the definition of mar-
riage in 1948, when the document was written, would clearly have been between a man and
a woman. The phrase to marry is often used to mean to marry each other as is the case
in the question in the postal survey.
21
https://marriagesurvey.abs.gov.au/introduction Accessed on 9 September 2017
22
The Australian alcohol retail market in review, 20 March 2017: http://www.roymorgan.
com/findings/7181-liquor-retail-australia-201703201051. Accessed 24 August 2017.
23
Quoted in https://www.thesaturdaypaper.com.au/news/health/2017/07/08/the-fight-after-marriage-
equality/14994360004892 Accessed on 9 September 2017
24
http://www.australianmarriageequality.org/open-letter-of-support/ Accessed on 8 September 2017
The amendment to the Marriage Act 1961 can be found here https://www.legislation.gov.au/
25
39
Should the law me changed to allow same-sex couples to marry?
If everyone should be allowed to marry the person they love then
the answer is simple, Yes. But is more going on? Is there more to
marriage than love? Is the emotive slogan of Marriage Equality
hiding something?
As you read, you will find that people who experience same-sex
attraction have real dignity and real acceptance in Jesus, and how
Jesus teaching on marriage is so radical that his disciples thought
it impossible to follow.
Christopher Braga
Chris has been a Christian since he was 16. He and
his wife, Beth, have been married for 23 years and
have had eight children. He currently serves as the
Senior Minister at Summer Hill Church (Anglican)
and is the Chair of Anglican Youth and Education,
Diocese of Sydney. @chris_braga