1

00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:07,762

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

2
00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:14,810
[LIGHT SWITCHES CLICKING]

3
00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:16,724
[]

4
00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:18,968
[YAWNS]

5
00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:24,330
[SIGHS]

6
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:31,404
Oh, shit. Carl. Carl. Carl, Carl! Dude, we
slept in again. The song's about to start!

7
00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:33,927
Shit, Frank! We can't miss the song.
Barry, wake up!

8
00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:35,491
What? What? I'm up. I'm up.

9
00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:38,371
This song is such an awesome way
to start every morning.

10
00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:42,684
It's a nice way of showing the gods how
much we appreciate everything they'll do...

11
00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:45,491
once they take us out those doors
to the Great Beyond.

12
00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:47,210
God, I love them so fucking much.

13
00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:49,488
Oh, shit! Corn's about to start singing!

14
00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:52,883
- Drop it, Corn! You got the best voice!
- You're the man, Corn!

15
00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:55,401
You rule! Take it away, brah!

16
00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:59,849
Dear gods
You're so divine in each and every way

17
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:02,082
To you we pray

18
00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:05,331
Dear gods
We pledge our love to you

19
00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:07,409
Forever more

20
00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:12,522
We always felt we had a special bond

21
00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:15,809
Take us to the Great Beyond

22
00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:19,681
Where we're sure
Nothing bad happens to food

23
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:23,242
Once we're out the sliding doors
Things will all be grand

24
00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:26,523
We will live our dreams together
In the Promised Land

25
00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:30,088
The gods control our fate
So we all know we're in good hands

26
00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:35,883
We're super sure there's nothing shitty
Waiting for us in the Great Beyond

27
00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:40,927
And every aisle
Thinks something different

28
00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:43,526
Holy shit, I've been chosen! Ha-ha-ha.

29
00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:48,328
But to this we all agree

30
00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:50,124
Booyah, bitches, I'm out of here!

31
00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:57,050
Everyone else is fuckin' stupid

32
00:02:57,400 --> 00:03:02,566
Except for those who think like me

33
00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:04,529
- And me!
- And me!

34
00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:05,841
And me!

35
00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:10,444
Out there
For all eternity we'll meditate

36
00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:12,523
How fucking great

37
00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:17,683
Out there
We'll get to tea-bag every day at 4

38
00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:18,881
- Pip!
- Pip!

39
00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:23,125
We'll shove pimentos up our ass
By Zeus

40
00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:26,762
 We'll exterminate the juice

41
00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:32,330
Und subjugate
The whole damn Great Beyond

42
00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:38,724
In here
We keep our wieners in our packages

43
00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:41,121
That's how it is

44
00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:42,806
It sucks

45
00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:45,406
But that's the way
Our buns keep fresh and pure

46
00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:46,766
Baby, baby

47
00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:51,130
But once we're out the doors
It's not a sin

48
00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:54,648
For us to let you
Slip it in

49
00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:58,850
In other words
We finally get to fuck

50
00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:00,570
- And love, and hug
- And fuck, and fuck

51
00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:01,886
- And feel, and share
- And fuck

52
00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:05,203
The gods will always care for us

53
00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:08,684
They won't squeeze us out their butts

54
00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:11,525
We cannot overstate
How confident we are

55
00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:13,250
That our beliefs are accurate

56
00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:16,603
And nothing awful happens to us
In the Great Beyond

57
00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:19,047
Kiss my brownish-yellow ass!

58
00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:23,649
I'm going to the Great Beyond,
motherfuckers!

59
00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:28,490
WOMAN [OVER PA]: We need
an extra cashier to the front, please.

60
00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:35,925
Boo and yah, motherfuckers.
Red, White and Blue Day is tomorrow!

61
00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:38,242
Dudes, basically every single sausage...

62
00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:40,323
gets chosen on Red, White and Blue Day.

63
00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:44,485
By this time tomorrow, we're all gonna be
5 inches deep in some bun, son.

64
00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:46,085
- Ba-bam.
- Oh, my God, yes.

65
00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:50,484
Ha-ha. More like 3 inches deep for Barry,
you deformed nerd.
66
00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:52,409
Ha-ha. Troy, that's funny.

67
00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:55,331
You see, this is why I can't wait
for the Great Beyond.

68
00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:59,491
We'll all be equal, and then jerks like
Troy won't be picking on me all the time...

69
00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:01,130
on account of my abnormality.

70
00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:04,529
Whatever, Barry. You're different,
and that makes you weird.

71
00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:05,761
[LAUGHING]

72
00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:10,164
Ignore that prick, Barry. He's full of shit.
And don't forget, you've got girth.

73
00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:13,244
That's way more important than length.
You're a fucking champ.

74
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:16,449
You know, I am girthy. I could fill a bun.
They'll know I'm there.

75
00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:20,082
I'm sure there's some kind of
smushed bun out there waiting for me.

76
00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:22,402
- FRANK: Shit, it's the Dark Lord!
- CARL: Oh, no. He's coming.

77
00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:24,324
No, wait! I'm still fresh. I swear!

78
00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:26,084
I'm still fresh!
79
00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:27,401
- Did he see us?
- No way.

80
00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:29,289
- We're fucked, bros!
- Oh, God, no!

81
00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:31,090
Take anyone but us, please!

82
00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:33,004
- Oh, no! No!
- No!

83
00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:34,889
- No! No!
- Why us?

84
00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:36,924
Fuck you, wienies.

85
00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:38,605
[ALL SCREAM]

86
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:44,804
Fuck, I hate this fucking job!

87
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,048
Ah, phew. You okay? Everyone okay?

88
00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:49,561
That's super fucked up
about Bill and those guys.

89
00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:52,963
They stayed in their package,
followed all the guidelines of the song.

90
00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:55,481
- What do they get?
- We're not supposed to understand...

91
00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:58,689
the will of the gods.
They work in mysterious ways.

92
00:05:58,840 --> 00:06:03,004
Since we base our lives on the song,
it might be nice if there was some proof.

93
00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:05,925
Proof? All the proof you need
is right in front of you.

94
00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:07,445
Look at these big old buns.

95
00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:08,681
[WHISTLING]

96
00:06:08,840 --> 00:06:12,401
CARL: Yeah! You know it, baby.
Work those buns!

97
00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:16,127
All of you. All day, "err" day.

98
00:06:16,280 --> 00:06:19,329
Lined up, waiting to get filled
with my meat.

99
00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:23,605
Right, Carl. You really think any of these
buns will line up to get filled by you?

100
00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:25,771
Here's my impression of that:

101
00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:30,289
"Oh, is he in there yet? I can't feel him.
I don't think he's in there. Oh, wait. He is."

102
00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:33,842
It's so sad. I bet you jackrabbit
for a quick 15 seconds. You're like:

103
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:35,081
[GRUNTING]

104
00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:36,605
And then you slump over.

105
00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:38,489
I mean, honestly, guys...

106
00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:42,486
who in this package
would ever let Carl get up in them? Huh?

107
00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:45,723
Roberta, put your fucking hand down.
You're ruining my joke.

108
00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:48,366
See? Nobody. That's who.

109
00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:49,646
[ALL LAUGHING]

110
00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:55,927
Hey, dude, I don't know how to say this
to you gently, but your girlfriend, um...

111
00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:57,206
she's a fucking cunt.

112
00:06:57,360 --> 00:06:59,488
Shut up. She's fresh as fuck,
and you know it.

113
00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:03,645
I don't know why you're limiting yourself
to one bun. There's plenty of buns.

114
00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:06,201
Because I believe in bunogomy.
I'm a bunogamist.

115
00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:10,291
And when a bun this fresh is into you,
all you ask is when and how deep.

116
00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:11,441
And the answer is:

117
00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:14,888
As soon as we get to the Great Beyond
and as deep as she'll let me.

118
00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:16,241
I'm gonna talk to her.

119
00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:19,085
Hey, Brenda. What up, girl? Heh-heh.

120
00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:21,402
Sorry about those guys. Such dicks, right?

121
00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:22,925
CARL: I can hear you, dude.

122
00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:24,081
Shut up. Fuck you.

123
00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:28,086
So looks like tomorrow's
the big day, huh? Heh-heh.

124
00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:30,766
You and me, finally gonna be official.

125
00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:33,161
I'm so happy the gods
put our packages together.

126
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:34,845
It's because we belong together.

127
00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:36,843
It's like we were made for each other.

128
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:40,766
I can't wait to finally just get up in there.
Just raw-dog it.

129
00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:43,924
But, full disclosure,
I'm pretty fucking nervous about this.

130
00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:46,526
I don't know how well I'll perform
once it happens.
131
00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:49,684
I've obviously never been
in a bun before, so...

132
00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:52,684
Hey, I'm not gonna be any better.
I've never opened up.

133
00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:55,127
I mean, look how tight I am.

134
00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:56,646
Oh, sweet fucking fuck.

135
00:07:56,800 --> 00:08:00,850
Look, okay, I know it's against the rules,
but I can't wait anymore.

136
00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:03,088
I need to just feel you.

137
00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:05,163
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

138
00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:07,005
- Just the tips?
- Just the tips?

139
00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:10,604
- I can't believe we're doing this.
- I know. We're so naughty.

140
00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:15,527
It's fine, right? I mean, nothing bad's
ever happened from just the tips.

141
00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:18,326
No. No, no, no. No, no, no.

142
00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:21,325
BOTH: Ah.

143
00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:23,285
FRANK: Oh, yeah, go in. Put it in there.
144
00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:25,767
- BRENDA: Big tip.
- Oh, you wouldn't dare.

145
00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:27,968
WOMAN [OVER PA]: Management to Cash 5.

146
00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:30,407
Management to Cash 5.

147
00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:32,881
I meant to buy a normal mustard.
When I got home...

148
00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:34,849
I realized I bought honey mustard.

149
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:38,049
- Is it cool if I just go swap it?
- I don't give a flying fuck.

150
00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:40,362
[]

151
00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:43,010
[HONEY MUSTARD SOBBING]

152
00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:46,448
Holy shit! You're back, man. Crazy!

153
00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:48,887
Did you go to the Great Beyond?

154
00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:52,567
Don't touch me, man!
Ketchup, get your fucking hands off me.

155
00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:54,489
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

156
00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:57,371
- What happened?
- Oh, I'll tell you what fucking happened.

157
00:08:57,520 --> 00:09:00,729
I'll tell you exactly what happened
in the Great Beyond...

158
00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:03,326
- ...you dumb, red piece of shit!
- What the f...?

159
00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:05,602
As soon as we got out those doors...

160
00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:06,921
[BIRD SCREECHES]

161
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:10,004
So you have learned the terrible truth.

162
00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:11,161
Congratulations!

163
00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:14,842
Now keep it to yourself,
or I will slit your throat while you sleep.

164
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:16,331
I swear to God.

165
00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:18,323
Oh, my God! Did you guys just hear that?

166
00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:20,403
What? What are you looking at?

167
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:23,530
He's gone. Where the fuck did he go?

168
00:09:23,680 --> 00:09:26,365
I'm so fucked up. I'm so fucked up.

169
00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:29,569
Ketchup, get the fuck off of me.
Nobody fucking touch me!

170
00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:34,487
Attention, shoppers. The store
is closing in ve minutes. Get out.
171
00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:37,166
FRANK: Hey, hey, hey, look at this.
We fucking got one.

172
00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:39,528
- Stand up straight, boys!
- Hey!

173
00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:42,326
Over here! Choose us!

174
00:09:42,680 --> 00:09:43,841
[SAUSAGES CLAMORING]

175
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,161
We're chosen!

176
00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:48,484
FRANK: Pick us! Pick our package!

177
00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:50,404
[]

178
00:09:50,560 --> 00:09:51,561
Brenda!

179
00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:53,085
Frank!

180
00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:55,931
Oh, man. I'm freaking out.
My heart's racing.

181
00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:58,890
I'm having an out-of-sausage
experience. Yes!

182
00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:01,051
BRENDA: Choose us! Look at us!

183
00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:02,241
Oh, please, god.

184
00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:04,562
- Choose us. Look at us! Oh, yes!
- FRANK: Please, god.

185
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,087
- Nice!
- Whoo!

186
00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:11,323
- Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
- Yes! Frank, we've been chosen together.

187
00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:12,606
Fucking A! Yeah!

188
00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:14,000
This is so cool!

189
00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:17,330
- I'm chosen! I got chosen!
- Going to the Promised Land!

190
00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:19,050
I'm on my way!

191
00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:21,362
[MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

192
00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:23,487
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]

193
00:10:23,680 --> 00:10:26,445
Yo! Oh, fuck, yeah, dude.

194
00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:29,371
Somebody call a doctor
because, honestly, this beat is sick.

195
00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:33,690
- Actually, I feel great. Real healthy.
- Not you, the beat. The song, bro.

196
00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:35,444
[GRUNTING TO THE BEAT]

197
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:37,568
- Oh, shit, Chips!
- Huh?
198
00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:40,286
C-H-I-P-S, Chips, Chips, Chips.

199
00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:43,569
I've known you forever.
I would never disrespect you with a lie.

200
00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:47,367
I will tell you very much
that you look fucking disgusting, bro.

201
00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:49,090
Oh, come on.

202
00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:53,524
No, I'm just messing with you, bro.
But for reals? You gotta hit the gym, bro.

203
00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:56,561
Oh, what's up?
Yo, are you pink all the way through?

204
00:10:56,800 --> 00:10:57,801
- Ew.
- Ha-ha-ha.

205
00:10:57,960 --> 00:11:01,362
I'm fucking with you, but also serious.
Is there a different color inside?

206
00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:03,170
Unh! What are you, even?

207
00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:06,642
What do you mean, what am I, dude?
I'm a fucking douche!

208
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:09,610
You know how long I've been waiting
up in this motherfucker?

209
00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:13,970
I was starting to worry the gods didn't
want douches no more, but look at her.

210
00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:15,610
She's a fucking 10, bro.

211
00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:18,047
The G-O-D is D-T-D...

212
00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:19,804
dude. Down to douche.

213
00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:21,680
"Lavash, sausages..."

214
00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:23,365
Oh, honey mustard.

215
00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:24,931
[SOBBING]

216
00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:26,246
What? No.

217
00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:28,084
This can't be happening. Not again.

218
00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:30,368
Oh, Jesus, not to me. Motherfuck.

219
00:11:30,560 --> 00:11:32,722
Get your hands off of me. Get off of me!

220
00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:35,241
- Fecking gobshite!
- POPPED CHERRY MIXER: Back off!

221
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:37,482
HONEY MUSTARD: You don't even know
what you're celebrating.

222
00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:39,608
You're celebrating your doom!

223
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:43,647
Wake up!
They're lying to your fucking faces!

224
00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:46,201
The Great Beyond is bullshit!

225
00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:49,569
- Why isn't anybody listening to me?
- Hey, buddy, are you all right?

226
00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:51,210
No, I'm not all right.

227
00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:53,681
It's all a lie. Everything you've been told.

228
00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:57,162
- Everything you believe in.
- Honey Mustard, you acting cray-cray!

229
00:11:57,360 --> 00:12:00,967
We shouldn't be talking to this asshole.
Everyone knows Honey Mustard's weird.

230
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:05,125
What is he? Honey? Is he mustard? Like,
make up your mind or just kill yourself.

231
00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:07,203
You fucking idiots. I've been there.

232
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:10,091
I've seen that shit,
and there ain't no way I'm going back.

233
00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:12,208
Wait, you've been to the Great Beyond?

234
00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:13,646
"Great," my asshole!

235
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:16,724
Everything we've ever known
is a dirt-covered pile of shit...

236
00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:19,082
jacking off in our fucking faces...

237
00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:21,402
covering our eyes with their come...

238
00:12:21,560 --> 00:12:24,245
so come-covered we can't fucking see!

239
00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:29,281
We don't know! We don't know they're
jerking off into our eyes! Our faces!

240
00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:32,091
BRENDA: Shut up. The gods
are gonna hear you talking about them...

241
00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:35,767
They ain't gods. They're monsters!
Horrible, ugly, disgusting monsters!

242
00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:37,763
They ain't gonna get Honey Mustard twice.

243
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,809
Fuck you, gods!

244
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:43,362
I've got a date with oblivion.

245
00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:46,888
Whoa, just chill. Just get down
from the fucking... Aah!

246
00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:49,088
BARRY: Oh, shit! He's out of the package!

247
00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:50,287
Barry, help!

248
00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:53,046
- Oh, fuck, Carl, what do we do?
- I don't know!

249
00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:55,806
I can't reach him.
I'm giving it everything I have.

250
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,286
- Frank!
- Brenda.

251
00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:59,920
Oh, my God! Brenda's out of the package!

252
00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:03,929
- I got you! Hold on! Hold on!
- FRANK: I can't hold on!

253
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,248
My little glove! It's slipping off!

254
00:13:07,560 --> 00:13:12,566
Look at you, following all their rules.
You have no idea what's coming.

255
00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:16,805
What is that in reference to? What's
coming? Be more specific, please!

256
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:19,247
You want proof? Talk to Firewater.

257
00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:22,331
That bastard bottle of booze
seems to know what's going on.

258
00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:25,088
- Unh!
- No!

259
00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:26,930
[LAUGHING]

260
00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:29,803
- Oh, my God.
- Did you see that?

261
00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:32,605
[GROCERIES SCREAMING]

262
00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:34,171
LAVASH: Donkey fucker!

263
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:40,007
Frank!
264
00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:41,685
[]

265
00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:43,484
[SCREAMS]

266
00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:45,849
[MOANING]

267
00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:50,403
DOUCHE: Oh, no. Bro!

268
00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:52,807
Douche down!

269
00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:54,883
I'm out of my fucking box!

270
00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:56,769
CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP: Cream of Mushroom?

271
00:13:57,280 --> 00:13:58,691
Are you there?

272
00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:01,722
[THUDDING AND RUMBLING]

273
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,482
Wake up! I'm nothing without you!

274
00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:06,880
[SOBBING]

275
00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:09,083
Get up! We gotta go!

276
00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:18,931
- FRANK: Uhn!
- Frank! Move your fucking ass!

277
00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:22,647
[FOOD CLAMORING]

278
00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:24,126
- Help!
- Oh, my God!

279
00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:27,170
GRAPE: Frank, run!

280
00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:29,482
- CHIPS: I can't!
- Come on, Chips! It's you and me, bro!

281
00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:32,206
Gotta use your cardio, bro! Come on!
Pump those legs!

282
00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:34,402
[SCREAMING]

283
00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:39,085
Oh, my God!

284
00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:42,247
Look out! Get to the wall!

285
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:49,521
Hey. I... Sorry, I accidentally dropped
a few things back there.

286
00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:52,763
Except for that douche.
I don't know whose that is.

287
00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:56,881
Cleanup on Aisle 2.
This MILF dropped a douche.

288
00:14:57,080 --> 00:14:59,560
Oh. "MILF." Thank you so much.

289
00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:02,491
Oh, fuck. Frank! Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Oh, no. Frank.

290
00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:06,804
Well, Barry, I guess now
you're weird and a pussy.
291
00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:08,883
Add that to your list of accomplishments.

292
00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:11,407
[SAUSAGES LAUGHING]

293
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:13,529
BARRY: Frank!

294
00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:15,802
No, no, no. Wait, babe, wait.

295
00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:18,406
Please hold up. No, don't go.

296
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:20,682
Come on. I can still get up in there!

297
00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:23,971
I could still...

298
00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:26,681
get up in there.

299
00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:33,969
Oh, my God.

300
00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:37,721
My nozz! My motherfucking nozz!

301
00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:39,211
- FRANK: You okay?
- I think so.

302
00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:41,328
Yo, did you two do this to me?

303
00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:46,128
Are you two responsible for my nozzle
being irrepressibly fucked up?

304
00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:47,691
Whoa, whoa, easy, man. Easy.

305
00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:51,043
Yeah, your nozzle's bent. Sorry.
You should be happy you're alive.

306
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,362
Yeah, Banana's whole face peeled off.

307
00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,522
Peanut Butter's wife is dead. Look at him.

308
00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:59,406
Jelly! I'm gonna fix you.
I'm gonna fix this.

309
00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:02,524
You think I give a fuck about PB or J?

310
00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:05,729
Fuck this. I'm gonna kick your ass.
How you like them apples?

311
00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:07,769
- APPLE: Who, us?
- No, not you.

312
00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:09,160
Come at me, bros.

313
00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:11,169
Come at you? What does that mean?

314
00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:13,562
Fine. You won't come at me?

315
00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:16,291
Well, then, guess who's coming at you.

316
00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:17,441
Me.

317
00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:19,369
Yaah!

318
00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:21,005
BRENDA: Look out!
319
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,571
DOUCHE: No!

320
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:28,202
[SCREAMING]

321
00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:37,204
[BRENDA PANTING]

322
00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:39,010
[FRANK CHUCKLES]

323
00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:40,690
Um...

324
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:45,089
WOMAN [OVER PA]:
Attention, shoppers. The store's closed.

325
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:48,487
[SIGHS]

326
00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:51,291
- You saved me!
- Well, yeah. Had to do something.

327
00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:53,442
I can't believe
you got out of your package.

328
00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:56,444
You would have gone to
the Great Beyond. You'd be there now.

329
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:58,921
There is no Great Beyond
without you, Frank.

330
00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:00,167
[]

331
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:04,041
Well, according to Honey Mustard,
there might not be a Great Beyond at all.

332
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:06,806
- Frank, don't say that!
- Did you hear what he said?

333
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,367
Yeah, yeah, I heard him talking
about the gods...

334
00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:12,808
all over our faces,
and then I saw him die.

335
00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:16,328
Oh, no. What if the gods are doing this
to us because we touched tips?

336
00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:18,130
What? No! There's no way.

337
00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:21,090
"Just the tips." What were we thinking?

338
00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:24,961
It wasn't even that... I mean, it was fine.
It's not like anyone writes home...

339
00:17:25,120 --> 00:17:27,885
- ...and says, "God, I had the best tip."
- LAVASH: Get away from me.

340
00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:29,121
Don't touch me.

341
00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:32,568
It was you.
You cocksucking bagel fuckface!

342
00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:33,721
Hey! Watch it!

343
00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:37,521
You pushed me out of the cart.
No surprise there, huh?

344
00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:41,446
A bagel trying to kill a lavash,
once again.
345
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:44,080
I pushed you? What are you, nuts?

346
00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:46,288
Why would I do that? I'm a pacifist.

347
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:49,091
The only thing I've ever pushed
is my peaceful agenda.

348
00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:53,450
Even that I didn't push, you know. I
pretty much passive-aggressively nudge.

349
00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:55,090
I reached out in a panic.

350
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:57,527
It was toots over here, the bun.
She grabbed me.

351
00:17:57,720 --> 00:17:59,210
I was just trying to save Frank.

352
00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:00,521
Who is Frank? You?

353
00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:03,121
- Yeah, I'm Frank.
- The fault is yours, then, huh?

354
00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:06,011
I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean
for any of this to happen.

355
00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:10,688
Well, it did. And now you and your
stupid, useless bun have fucked us all.

356
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:13,127
Hey, who you calling useless,
you flappy fuck?

357
00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:15,322
Sausage, control your insolent bun.
358
00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:16,970
And cover her up already.

359
00:18:17,120 --> 00:18:18,849
- Show some modesty, woman.
- Ooh!

360
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:22,686
Hey, hey. Look, can we all just,
you know, calm down a notch, please?

361
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:25,684
Let's try to be, I don't know, amicable.

362
00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:29,401
I'm Sammy Bagel Jr.
You know, I'm happy to meet all of you.

363
00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:33,849
- Except for this meshuggener cunt here.
- Hi, I'm Brenda. Brenda Bunson.

364
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,764
Oh, wow. Really?

365
00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:37,604
Well, fuck all of you!

366
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:40,963
I am Kareem Abdul Lavash!

367
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,646
And what I currently care about
is that I have been...

368
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:48,522
completely and utterly fucked
out of being in the Great Beyond.

369
00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:53,442
I am to have 77 bottles
of extra-virgin olive oil...

370
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,090
waiting for me.
371
00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:58,403
I am destined to soak up
their sweet juices...

372
00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:01,291
as they dribble down my flaps.

373
00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:06,688
Okay. Look, guys, here's what
I'm thinking. We hurry back to our aisles.

374
00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:10,083
We sneak into another package and
still be fresh enough to get chosen.

375
00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:13,403
Okay, let's climb
to the top of the shelf here. And...

376
00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:14,607
[GRUNTS]

377
00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:16,649
then we'll get a lay of the land...

378
00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:19,730
and we'll figure out
where we're going. Come on.

379
00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:22,406
As long as the bagel
stays away from me, I accept.

380
00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:25,450
Oh, believe me, asshole,
I'll keep my distance.

381
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:27,642
[]

382
00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:35,891
[GRUNTS]

383
00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:38,725
[PANTING]
384
00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:40,405
Oh!

385
00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:46,490
No disrespect,
but you look fucking gross, bro.

386
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:52,010
Look at you.
Fucking bent-ass, busted-ass nozz.

387
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:55,124
Oh, great.
You're leaking all your juice out.

388
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:56,965
Can I ask you a question, me?

389
00:19:57,120 --> 00:20:00,806
Why would a god let you
up in her smooth, perfect sliz...

390
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:03,725
when you can't even squirt?

391
00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:05,405
You got nothing to squirt!

392
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:07,602
[GRUNTING]

393
00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:11,206
I got no purpose.

394
00:20:11,360 --> 00:20:13,761
I'm nothing!

395
00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:16,010
Oh, God.

396
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:17,764
JUICE BOX: Is someone there?

397
00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:20,682
[MOANING AND COUGHING]

398
00:20:24,360 --> 00:20:26,408
JUICE BOX: Help me, someone.

399
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:29,610
Help me. Help me.

400
00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:31,887
Help.

401
00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:35,448
What's up, little juicy box?
You're leaking too, eh, bro?

402
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:38,242
And right out of your fucking dingle.

403
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:39,447
[COUGHING]

404
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:40,931
Fucking sucks, right?

405
00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:44,323
Dying. So cold.

406
00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:46,130
Oh. Uh-oh.

407
00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:47,520
- Light bulb.
- Yes?

408
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:49,722
No, not fucking you, dummy.

409
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:52,201
I think I might be forming
some beginnings...

410
00:20:52,360 --> 00:20:56,809
of what could be the flower
that blossoms into an idea.

411
00:20:57,560 --> 00:21:02,168
If you fucking tell anyone about this,
I'm gonna deny it, bro.

412
00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:04,607
[SLURPING]

413
00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:07,240
[JUICE BOX GRUNTING]

414
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:12,162
Fuck. This is some next-level shit, dude.

415
00:21:12,360 --> 00:21:13,691
You fucking like that?

416
00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:16,481
I'm juicing up!

417
00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:18,684
[GRUNTING]

418
00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:24,209
[LAUGHING]

419
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:27,449
I'm like a full-on juicehead now, bro.

420
00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:31,127
[LAUGHING]

421
00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:35,241
I got a new purpose now.

422
00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:37,084
Revenge!

423
00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:42,007
Where's that fucking sausage?
Because this douche is DTFSU.

424
00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:46,006
Down to fuck a sausage up!

425
00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:51,284
I'm coming for you!

426
00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:57,731
LAVASH: First you come into our aisle
and occupy more and more shelf space.

427
00:21:57,920 --> 00:22:01,527
You even have settlements now on
the west shelf that you claim as your own.

428
00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:04,001
Oh, look, it's not our fault
we needed a homeland.

429
00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:07,004
The sauerkraut kicked us out
of every decent aisle.

430
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:10,004
They tried to send us to
the barbeque section, for God's sake.

431
00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:13,004
- We were displaced.
- Don't you talk to me about displacement!

432
00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:15,606
My good friend Tabouli
was ousted from his shelf...

433
00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:19,207
just to make room
for that braided idiot, Challah.

434
00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:23,086
Wow, I can't... Frank, Brenda, come on,
are you guys gonna weigh in here?

435
00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:24,730
I mean, whose side are you on?

436
00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:28,043
This isn't just about me. I mean,
first they come for the bagels...

437
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:32,370
I don't know. Isn't there room for both
of you? It seems like a pretty big aisle.

438
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:35,248
[BOTH LAUGHING]

439
00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:37,402
- Yeah. Both, sure.
- What a dumb sausage!

440
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:39,528
Like we can coexist!

441
00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:42,047
- SAMMY: That's good material.
- Room for both of us!

442
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:44,407
Holy shit.

443
00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:46,602
[]

444
00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:56,841
Holy fucksticks.
We are "ray-ray" far from home.

445
00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:59,202
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING IN DISTANCE]

446
00:22:59,360 --> 00:23:00,600
FRANK: Liquor aisle.

447
00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:03,208
Firewater.

448
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:07,286
From here, it seems like the best route
is probably to go through the liquor aisle.

449
00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:08,680
So shall we?

450
00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:11,684
What? It kind of seems out of the way.
Are you sure?
451
00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:13,490
Yeah. Totally sure.

452
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:17,326
Okay, because the way you're saying it
doesn't sound like you're too confident.

453
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:20,563
- Oh. Uh, yeah, trust me.
- Oh, okay, there we go.

454
00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:22,722
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]

455
00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:30,084
Who wants to dance now!
Come on, let's rock!

456
00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:32,243
[CANS SHOUTING]

457
00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:34,402
[WHOOPING]

458
00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:39,169
[SCREAMS]

459
00:23:39,360 --> 00:23:40,805
[YELLS THEN WHOOPS]

460
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:42,166
Kegger!

461
00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:45,091
Holy shit. Look at this place.

462
00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:46,969
It's fucking crazy!

463
00:23:47,120 --> 00:23:51,125
Are you seeing this? They're all out
of their packages. What are they doing?

464
00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:53,049
This is a place of unparalleled sin!
465
00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:56,767
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
Didn't see you there. Sorry.

466
00:23:56,920 --> 00:24:00,208
Don't mind me. Just minding
my own business. Just passing through.

467
00:24:00,360 --> 00:24:03,807
[IN JAMAICAN ACCENT] Hey, bun!
Welcome to the aisle. Wanna dance?

468
00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:06,885
[IN FOREIGN ACCENT]
No, thank you, mon. I'm quite irie...

469
00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:09,884
just being left alone over here,
don't you know?

470
00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:11,769
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Oh, boy. That was Irish.

471
00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:13,410
Holy shit!

472
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:18,401
What a crazy coincidence!
This is Firewater's cave!

473
00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:21,285
This is what Honey Mustard
was talking about. We should go.

474
00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:25,724
Okay, yeah, great. You go do that. I'll just
be out here dry-humping this 40-ouncer.

475
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:27,564
Not! Yeah, I said "not."

476
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:31,520
That's how serious I am. We can't piss the
gods off any more than we already have.

477
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:34,081
Okay, I totally get
you don't wanna go in there.

478
00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:39,446
I'll tell you what. I'll go in super-duper
fast, in and out, I'll be five minutes.

479
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:42,001
Fine. Five minutes. Be fast.

480
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:43,321
And careful.

481
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:46,131
- Mostly fast. We have to go.
- Thank you. You're the best.

482
00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:48,089
I'll meet you at the end of the aisle.

483
00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:53,360
- BEER 1: Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
- BEER 2: Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

484
00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:55,286
FIREWATER: Hiya, how are ya

485
00:24:55,440 --> 00:25:03,006
Hiya, how are ya Hiya, how are ya

486
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:07,526
Hiya. How are ya?

487
00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:10,047
I'm Frank. Are you Firewater?

488
00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:13,643
- Mm-hm.
- What are you doing in this cave?

489
00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:18,885
I am the original inhabitant of this land.

490
00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:23,045
My kind once had a pristine aisle.
491
00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:25,806
Majestic and untouched.

492
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:28,002
Then we were driven out of it...

493
00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:31,323
by a bunch of goddamn fucking crackers!

494
00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:33,528
Oh, yeah. The crackers.

495
00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:36,206
They do have a nice aisle.

496
00:25:36,360 --> 00:25:40,649
Okay, anyway, look. I was told that
you might have some answers?

497
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:43,162
Answers I have.

498
00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:44,321
But first...

499
00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:48,161
I must know the question.

500
00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:51,768
Okay. Well, before I saw him
jump to his death...

501
00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:55,720
Honey Mustard said the Great Beyond
is bullshit and the gods are monsters.

502
00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:59,171
And I always kind of thought
that it didn't quite add up.

503
00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:04,281
So I guess my question is, what really
happens in the Great Beyond?

504
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:08,122
To find that which you seek...

505
00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:10,726
all you must do is look deep...

506
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:13,526
into my bag of wonderment.

507
00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:15,245
Whoa.

508
00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:20,845
I don't see anything.

509
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:23,924
Deeper.

510
00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:25,520
Deeper.

511
00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:28,047
Put your whole head in the bag there.
There you go.

512
00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:30,202
Just say when.
I'm just gonna keep going in.

513
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:32,402
FIREWATER: Guys! Get out here!
Help me kill this prick.

514
00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:35,166
GRITS: This motherfucker knows
too much. We gotta off his ass!

515
00:26:35,360 --> 00:26:37,761
FIREWATER: Someone hand me
a blade. I'll gut this cocksucker!

516
00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:41,527
TWINK: No! If we kill him,
we are no better than the gods.

517
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:43,887
FIREWATER: Ah... He is right.

518
00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:46,082
Take off the bag of wonderment.

519
00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:47,730
[GASPING]

520
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:49,047
Who are you?

521
00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:53,603
We the nonperishables, motherfucker.

522
00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:55,649
We never expire.

523
00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:57,080
We are...

524
00:26:57,240 --> 00:26:58,526
immortal.

525
00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:00,768
This here's Twink and Grits.

526
00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:04,003
They call me Mr. Grits.

527
00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:05,810
Yeah, Mr. Grits. Yeah, whatever.

528
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:08,645
- You told him about the crackers?
- Yeah, I told him.

529
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:12,122
You don't even wanna hear
what they did to Mr. Grits over here.

530
00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:13,361
Fuck the crackers.

531
00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:16,763
I'm gonna fuck them crackers right
in the crack of they cracker asses.

532
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:18,331
Cracker-ass crackers.

533
00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:20,562
Why kill me?
All I did was ask what happens...

534
00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:24,008
in the Great Beyond.
Jeez! What's the big whoop?

535
00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:27,761
We can't tell this sausage motherfucker
the truth. We just met his ass.

536
00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:33,290
He basically knows it already.
Maybe it's time to end this.

537
00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:37,162
I am tired of all of the lies.

538
00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:40,570
Prepare yourself.
For you're about to learn...

539
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:44,651
the terrible truth. Does anybody
want a hit before we get into this?

540
00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:45,801
- Twink?
- Nah, I'm cool.

541
00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:48,167
- GRITS: Shit, if we smoking, I'll hit it.
- That's what I thought.

542
00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:50,129
Pass the weed, motherfucker.

543
00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:51,765
[TOOTING]

544
00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:52,967
Goddamn!

545
00:27:53,120 --> 00:27:55,168
[COUGHS THEN WHOOPS]

546
00:27:55,360 --> 00:27:57,488
- This indica?
- Nah, man. Sativa.

547
00:27:57,640 --> 00:27:59,130
It's good shit. Clean high.

548
00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:01,241
Oh, no, thanks.

549
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:05,928
Trust me. What you're about to hear,
you'll want some.

550
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:11,411
[TOOTING]

551
00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:13,562
[COUGHING]

552
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:17,211
Fifty-five minutes.

553
00:28:17,360 --> 00:28:18,964
I know. Where is he?

554
00:28:19,120 --> 00:28:23,523
Wa-ha-ha.
Looks like you got ditched, bun. Ha-ha.

555
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:26,405
He wouldn't ditch me, dumbass.
He's my boyfriend. I mean...

556
00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:29,763
we touched T-I-Ps. Ha-ha-ha.

557
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:30,967
We touched tips
558
00:28:31,120 --> 00:28:32,121
[CHUCKLES]

559
00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:34,965
Just the tips
Oh, we touched our tips

560
00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:38,404
Sorry, I don't know why I'm singing.

561
00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:41,803
Sometimes I get nervous
And I'll sing!

562
00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:44,248
Maybe that's why he ditched you.

563
00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:48,166
Your loose morals are revolting,
tip-toucher!

564
00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:52,564
You don't think that because I'm out
of the package he thinks I'm not pure?

565
00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:55,963
God. I didn't want to say it,
but I do have that not-so-fresh feeling.

566
00:28:56,120 --> 00:28:57,610
Excuse me.

567
00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:00,161
- Are you a bun?
- Uh...

568
00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:01,606
Yeah, I am. Why?

569
00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:03,962
And you've been traveling with a sausage?

570
00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:05,929
Yes! Yes, I have! Have you seen him?

571
00:29:06,080 --> 00:29:08,890
I have! He's looking for you in my aisle.

572
00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:12,283
He's right this way.
I can take you to him, chica.

573
00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:15,650
I take you to him real good.

574
00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:17,802
[LAUGHING]

575
00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:22,046
All right, vmonos. Let's go.

576
00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:23,770
I am to be trusted.

577
00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:25,922
[LAUGHING]

578
00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:35,202
[]

579
00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:43,283
SAMMY: Yeah. This has a nice
south-of-the-border vibe. Heh.

580
00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:47,004
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]

581
00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:49,162
[CHATTERING STOPS]

582
00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:52,126
[CHATTERING RESUMES]

583
00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:56,763
Okay, you go over there
and you sit at the bar right there, okay?

584
00:29:56,920 --> 00:29:59,082
You can't move a muscle, okay?

585
00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:01,089
I'll be right back, all right?

586
00:30:01,240 --> 00:30:02,810
[LAUGHING]

587
00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:04,530
Okay.

588
00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:09,405
And bless me, Santa Chimichanga, and
protect me from the Dark Lord. Amen.

589
00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:11,005
BRENDA: Oh, sorry.

590
00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:12,247
Excuse me.

591
00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:14,084
[GASPS THEN SPEAKS IN SPANISH]

592
00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:15,730
The bun.

593
00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:19,327
The one he's been searching for.
She's here.

594
00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:22,203
And she's beautiful.

595
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:23,407
[]

596
00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:27,451
[GROWLS]

597
00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:29,887
Is it me or is everyone looking at us?

598
00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:31,246
[TERESA SPEAKS IN SPANISH]

599
00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:32,970
- h, hi. It's nice to meet...
- Shh.

600
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:35,691
Don't look at me. Eyes forward.
Act natural.

601
00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:37,490
- Oh, okay.
- Listen.

602
00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:39,290
My name is Teresa Del Taco.

603
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:41,209
And you are in grande danger.

604
00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:44,324
This is a trap!
You must to come with me. Now!

605
00:30:44,480 --> 00:30:47,484
All right. I got them right here,
amigo. I...

606
00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:49,290
Shit!

607
00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:52,525
Get your nose out of my crotch!

608
00:30:52,680 --> 00:30:56,321
My nose out of your crotch?
Get your crotch off my nose!

609
00:30:56,480 --> 00:31:00,041
- Hey. Why are we hiding?
- Shh.

610
00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:01,247
He's coming.

611
00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:04,131
- Who?
- TERESA: The one they call...

612
00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:06,282
El Douche.

613
00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:08,442
[]

614
00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:12,403
- FOOD 1: El Douche!
- FOOD 2: El Douche!

615
00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:14,688
What gives, bro? You told me you had them.

616
00:31:14,840 --> 00:31:18,731
So you drag me over to this fucking aisle
with all these illegal products...

617
00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:21,884
and now I don't see them.
So where the fuck are they?

618
00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:23,565
Spill the beans!

619
00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:25,961
Beans, I swear to fucking God,
if you don't...

620
00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:29,243
- ...shut the fuck up...
- Oh, no. He's back! Where's Frank?

621
00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:31,562
- They were just here.
- What part of:

622
00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:35,486
"I want the sausage and the bun dead,
and if you see them, come and get me...

623
00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:38,291
and if I find out that
you didn't come and get me...

624
00:31:38,440 --> 00:31:42,047
or just couldn't find them good enough,
I'll fucking kill your asses"...
625
00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:44,168
did you not understand, Tequila?

626
00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:47,608
Well, it's a pretty confusing sentence
to be honest with you, you know?

627
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:50,087
I mean, this is... This happens, you know?

628
00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:53,369
Bro, come here. No, it's fine.
It's cool. No biggie.

629
00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:58,845
I'm not gonna do something fucked up
to you now as soon as I get you in close.

630
00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:01,247
- Aah!
- No way, Jos!

631
00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:05,570
Yes way. Jos's fucking dead, yo.

632
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:08,211
[GRUNTING]

633
00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:09,970
[CURSING IN SPANISH]

634
00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:12,571
[WHIMPERING]

635
00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:14,563
Right in my guac and balls.

636
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:17,007
And the same thing's
gonna happen to all of you...

637
00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:20,488
unless you find the sausage and the bun.

638
00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:22,364
TERESA: Por aca, por aca, this way.

639
00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:25,808
The coyotes used this tunnel
to smuggle some of us out of the aisle...

640
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:27,445
in hope of a better life.

641
00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:29,409
We will do the same.

642
00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:30,846
[FRANK COUGHING]

643
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:33,401
- It's good shit, isn't it?
- Okay.

644
00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:37,485
Okay, I'm super baked. My friends are
probably wondering where the hell I am.

645
00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:40,729
Will somebody please just tell me
something already?

646
00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:44,885
Okay. The thing about
the Great Beyond is...

647
00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:46,281
we invented it!

648
00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:48,369
- What?
- I know, right?

649
00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:52,366
As soon as you're out those doors,
the gods kill our asses.

650
00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:56,525
What, are you crazy? That doesn't make
any sense. Why would the gods kill us?
651
00:32:56,680 --> 00:32:58,603
Because it makes them stronger.

652
00:32:58,760 --> 00:33:01,411
Every kill gives them more power,
and it's never enough.

653
00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:05,690
Over the years, they've grown
bigger, stronger, fatter.

654
00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:08,366
Their hunger's insatiable, buddy.
I mean, fuck.

655
00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:10,124
You guys are fucking nuts.

656
00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:13,363
How much of that shit have you been
smoking? Too much is how much.

657
00:33:13,520 --> 00:33:15,887
We blaze for real, 24/7. No joke.

658
00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:18,725
But we also know our shit.

659
00:33:18,880 --> 00:33:22,202
Before us, everyone knew the awful truth.

660
00:33:22,360 --> 00:33:23,600
[SCREAMING]

661
00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:26,240
Oh, how they screamed.

662
00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:28,044
It was a living nightmare.

663
00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:32,046
So we, the nonperishables,
created a story.

664
00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:34,328
The story of the Great Beyond.

665
00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:37,006
A place where the gods care for you...

666
00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:41,171
and all your wildest and wettest
dreams would come true.

667
00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:42,367
[ALL CHEERING]

668
00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:47,082
They would go out those doors happy
instead of shitting themselves.

669
00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:50,130
Wait, wait. So you're telling me
you wrote the song?

670
00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:53,489
I can't take full credit.
I wrote the music. Twink is my lyricist.

671
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:57,243
We both drop it right
and we drop it all the time. Boom.

672
00:33:57,400 --> 00:33:59,129
The melody came to me one night...

673
00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:03,285
when I was getting
super, super, super baked.

674
00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:05,841
Like fuck-a-guy baked.
You know what I'm saying?

675
00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:07,485
Yeah, he does.

676
00:34:07,840 --> 00:34:10,241
The song had a great hook
and it caught on. You know.

677
00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:13,842
In time, everyone accepted
this false truth.

678
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:19,086
But over the years,
things started to get a little fucky.

679
00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:22,648
The aisles started changing my verses
to support their own views.

680
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:27,849
Fucking with Twink's lyrics.
Remixing my shit without my permish.

681
00:34:28,240 --> 00:34:31,449
Now every morning
when I hear the song, I'm like:

682
00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:33,329
"What the fuck are you guys saying?"

683
00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:37,326
Wasn't there a part about exterminating
juice? I didn't write that! I love juice!

684
00:34:37,480 --> 00:34:41,883
Always have. Juice are hilarious. Who
the fuck do these guys think they are?

685
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:43,809
[SCREAMING]

686
00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:48,085
Anyway, at least it's still distracting them
from the truth:

687
00:34:48,240 --> 00:34:51,289
That they get brutally devoured.

688
00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:54,968
So that means Carl and Barry are dead?

689
00:34:55,280 --> 00:34:58,648
I don't know who those dudes are.
But if they went out those doors?
690
00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:00,649
[COUGHING] Dead as a motherfucker.

691
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:02,365
Oh, God.

692
00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:05,444
If what you're saying is true,
I gotta tell everyone.

693
00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:09,969
Very noble, little sausage.
But also very pointless.

694
00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:11,565
No one will believe you.

695
00:35:11,720 --> 00:35:14,690
I have to try.
Everyone will die otherwise.

696
00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:17,128
Oh, yeah. That's a good point.
Fuck me, right?

697
00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:19,203
Wait, do you guys have any proof of this?

698
00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:21,010
[]

699
00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:24,209
Go to the Dark Aisle. Beyond the ice.

700
00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:25,771
Why? What's in that aisle?

701
00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:28,321
Oh, you'll see. But I warn you...

702
00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:30,682
once you see that shit...

703
00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:34,925
it'll fuck you up for life.

704
00:35:35,240 --> 00:35:37,561
Good luck! Have fun! Ha-ha-ha.

705
00:35:37,720 --> 00:35:42,681
Hey, Grits. Pack another bowl, will you?
I'm a-hankering for a hunk of herb.

706
00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:45,326
[]

707
00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:47,482
[HUMMING]

708
00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:51,131
Shit. I really needed that douche.

709
00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:54,648
Holy shit, we're actually here!
Come on, Barry, you're missing it, man!

710
00:35:54,840 --> 00:35:56,126
Dude, get in on this shit.

711
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:59,921
God, what have I done? Frank needed
my help, but I wasn't there for him.

712
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:02,765
After all the times he stood up for me,
you know.

713
00:36:02,920 --> 00:36:04,922
God, I'm such a fearful coward.

714
00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:07,367
He'll never forgive me.
I'll never forgive me.

715
00:36:07,560 --> 00:36:10,689
Look, Barry, the only way
to respectfully honor Frank...

716
00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:12,649
is to completely forget about him.
717
00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:15,121
- Oh.
- And, hey, for all we know, he's okay.

718
00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:18,363
He's probably headed back to our aisle
and he'll be here tomorrow.

719
00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:20,841
Just act happy. Ignore your feelings.

720
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:23,446
Come on, let's see that smile. Ah.

721
00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:24,931
I see that lip curling up.

722
00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:27,362
Oh, there you go! Whoo!

723
00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:30,888
Yeah. Yeah, you're right.
We're in the Great Be-frigging-yond.

724
00:36:31,080 --> 00:36:32,570
[WHOOPING]

725
00:36:32,720 --> 00:36:34,051
Get ready, boys!

726
00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:37,204
We's about to fills what we need to fills.

727
00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:38,681
TROY: Feel that breeze.

728
00:36:38,880 --> 00:36:41,087
- Carl, do you feel that?
- This feels amazing.

729
00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:43,489
- Whoo-hoo!
- Oh, yeah.

730
00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:45,045
We're out of the package.

731
00:36:45,200 --> 00:36:46,531
It's beautiful, man.

732
00:36:46,720 --> 00:36:51,009
It's just beautiful! I'm crying!
I'm crying because it's so pretty here!

733
00:36:51,160 --> 00:36:53,606
Stretch your legs with me, Carl.
Just do it, man.

734
00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:58,527
Oh, yes! Yes!
I'm the first to enter eternity!

735
00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:02,123
CARL: Potato! Way to go, buddy!
That's my guy!

736
00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:03,606
[CHATTERING AND CHEERING]

737
00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:06,691
Being bathed by the hands of a god!

738
00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:08,001
[LAUGHING]

739
00:37:08,200 --> 00:37:13,525
Oh, Danny boy
The pipes, the pipes are call...

740
00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:15,569
Oh, Jesus fuck!

741
00:37:15,720 --> 00:37:17,370
Oh, God! Me skin!

742
00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:20,842
- She's peeling me fucking skin!
- What the fuck?

743
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:23,765
IRISH POTATO: Jesus, you fucking whore!

744
00:37:23,920 --> 00:37:26,321
Me eyes! They burn!

745
00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:29,370
No! Please, no! I have got a famiglia!

746
00:37:30,680 --> 00:37:33,684
[SCREAMING]

747
00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:36,161
No! No!

748
00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:38,971
CARL: Cheese! You don't deserve that!

749
00:37:41,120 --> 00:37:43,043
[WINE GRUNTING]

750
00:37:43,320 --> 00:37:44,481
Oh, no! No!

751
00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:48,281
[GROCERIES SCREAMING]

752
00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:52,122
For the love of shit, run!

753
00:37:52,280 --> 00:37:53,327
[HUMMING]

754
00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:54,970
Whoops!

755
00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:58,484
I want my mommy!

756
00:37:58,680 --> 00:38:02,082
[SCREAMING]

757
00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:04,931
They're eating children!

758
00:38:05,080 --> 00:38:06,889
Fucking children!

759
00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:10,128
- We gotta run!
- Oh!

760
00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:11,805
We're all gonna die!

761
00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:16,010
Barry! Snap the fuck out of it and run!

762
00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:18,202
[]

763
00:38:20,720 --> 00:38:23,769
Okay, little buddy.
Jump on the count of three.

764
00:38:23,920 --> 00:38:24,921
One!

765
00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:26,081
Two!

766
00:38:26,280 --> 00:38:27,725
Thre... Uhn.

767
00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:29,160
Carl?

768
00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:31,840
[GROANING]

769
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:34,765
"Gar babar" what?
What are you saying, Carl?

770
00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:37,128
Oh! Oh, God. No!

771
00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:40,124
No! Oh, God! Carl!

772
00:38:40,280 --> 00:38:41,850
Carl!

773
00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:44,169
Barry!

774
00:38:44,320 --> 00:38:47,483
Carl! Dear sweet Carl.

775
00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:49,324
What have they done to you, Carl?

776
00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:51,244
No!

777
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:54,124
Whoa!

778
00:38:54,720 --> 00:38:57,200
No! No. No. No!

779
00:38:58,200 --> 00:38:59,850
[SCREAMING]

780
00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:04,641
I fall out of the cart, then I lose Frank,
now I'm being hunted by a douche.

781
00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:07,007
The gods must be punishing me,
don't you see?

782
00:39:07,160 --> 00:39:09,766
This is what I get for giving in
to my disgusting urges.

783
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:11,645
I'm such a whore.

784
00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:16,283
Sweet bun, I must admit I too
sometimes have urges...

785
00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:18,568
impure thoughts. We all do.
786
00:39:18,720 --> 00:39:21,326
Oh, good. That actually makes me
feel a little better.

787
00:39:21,480 --> 00:39:24,006
- We must never give in to them.
- That's the opposite...

788
00:39:24,160 --> 00:39:25,924
- ...of what I thought you'd say.
- Yes.

789
00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:29,926
The gods are always watching,
even when we cannot see them.

790
00:39:30,320 --> 00:39:31,810
You think it's too late for me?

791
00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:34,531
Do not worry, bun. I will get you home.

792
00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:37,084
Can I ask why you're helping me?

793
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:42,770
When I saw you, I felt inside myself
a tingling-lingling sensation.

794
00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:46,049
I am sure it was the gods
telling me to help you.

795
00:39:46,200 --> 00:39:48,931
It was as though I saw myself in you.

796
00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:51,967
Yeah. Yeah, I guess
I kind of see myself in you too.

797
00:39:52,160 --> 00:39:54,811
I mean, look at our shapes.
You know, you're sideways.

798
00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:57,327
But still, you're kind of like me.
799
00:39:57,480 --> 00:40:00,324
A thin, brittle version of me.

800
00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:04,451
Or another way of looking at it
is you're a fat, ugly version of her.

801
00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:08,571
- All right. That's not necessary.
- DOUCHE: That's no way to treat a lady.

802
00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:10,961
Oh, fuck!

803
00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:12,849
That's right, girl. It's me.

804
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:14,929
And what we got here?

805
00:40:15,120 --> 00:40:17,691
A taco, a whiny doughnut...

806
00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:22,801
and some stupid floppy thing
that nobody knows exactly what it is.

807
00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:23,961
Okay, so...

808
00:40:24,120 --> 00:40:25,690
QUESO: Did someone say "Queso"?

809
00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:28,684
A fucking stretch,
and you know you it, Queso!

810
00:40:28,840 --> 00:40:31,650
So where was I? Oh, right.

811
00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:34,531
I was about to beat on you
most viciously...

812
00:40:34,680 --> 00:40:36,842
- ...and in my opinion appropriately...
- Oh!

813
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:39,241
to find the whereabouts...

814
00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:44,486
of the sausage who destroyed
my body and my...

815
00:40:44,640 --> 00:40:47,086
- Fucking...
- Run for your lives!

816
00:40:47,240 --> 00:40:52,406
Fuck, that hurts so much! Oh!

817
00:40:53,840 --> 00:40:55,046
BRENDA: Run!

818
00:40:55,360 --> 00:40:56,691
Oh, he's coming at us!

819
00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:00,764
Hurry!

820
00:41:01,160 --> 00:41:02,491
[WHIMPERING]

821
00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:04,444
[GRUNTING]

822
00:41:05,960 --> 00:41:07,564
- Guys, I'm stuck!
- DOUCHE: Yaah!

823
00:41:07,720 --> 00:41:09,051
Ay, my bunny-bun!

824
00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:11,726
- I told you she was too fat.
- I heard that!

825
00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:13,848
Come on, honeybun, suck it in.
826
00:41:14,440 --> 00:41:16,966
- Aah!
- BRENDA: He's coming, he's coming.

827
00:41:17,160 --> 00:41:19,083
Eso duele, get the butter!

828
00:41:19,240 --> 00:41:20,890
[DOUCHE ROARING]

829
00:41:22,040 --> 00:41:24,805
Fuck! Stuck!
You gotta be kidding me, dude!

830
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:30,166
Toma la pinche douche de la chingada
de mierda pendejo son of a bitch!

831
00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:31,886
Yeah! What she said!

832
00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:35,283
Ay, mi gordita, let's not start
eating each other's boxes just yet.

833
00:41:35,440 --> 00:41:37,488
We are still not safe here. Let's go!

834
00:41:37,680 --> 00:41:38,727
BRENDA: Screw you!

835
00:41:38,880 --> 00:41:40,848
I'm gonna get you, my pretty!

836
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:43,970
I'm gonna get you
and your little sausage too!

837
00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:46,487
Go fuck yourself, El Douche.

838
00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:49,411
Ay, Santa Chimichanga...

839
00:41:49,560 --> 00:41:52,006
I promise to be a good taco.

840
00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:54,162
[]

841
00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:58,002
[SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]

842
00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:03,681
BARRY: Shit, shit, shit!
Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man.

843
00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:06,844
What do I do? I'm all alone.
I'm a coward and I'm all alone.

844
00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:10,761
I fucked over Frank, Carl's dead
and I'm all alone.

845
00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:13,531
This is what I get for being a pussy.

846
00:42:14,040 --> 00:42:15,371
Oh, no, a god!

847
00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:17,045
[]

848
00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:21,964
[GASPS]

849
00:42:23,880 --> 00:42:26,087
[PANTING]

850
00:42:26,240 --> 00:42:27,730
A sausage.

851
00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:31,248
Sir? Sir, I'm sorry to wake you.
I'm a fellow sausage in distress.

852
00:42:31,440 --> 00:42:34,125
My name's Barry, it's a pleasure
to meet you. What's your name?
853
00:42:34,320 --> 00:42:36,527
[GROWLING]

854
00:42:36,680 --> 00:42:38,205
Oh, God!

855
00:42:38,360 --> 00:42:40,283
No, no, no! Aah!

856
00:42:40,480 --> 00:42:42,482
[GRUNTING]

857
00:42:43,880 --> 00:42:47,726
I begged them to stop,
but they just wouldn't.

858
00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:50,167
First, the gods stretched me till it hurt.

859
00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:52,971
Then they went inside me and then...
And then...

860
00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:54,451
- ...splooge!
- Aah!

861
00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:55,681
Look at me.

862
00:42:55,880 --> 00:42:57,211
Look at me!

863
00:42:57,360 --> 00:42:59,203
[SCREAMS]

864
00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:03,006
They... They feel no remorse.

865
00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:06,243
Oh, God, oh, God! What's the point
of even living anymore?

866
00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:08,209
I might as well just die.

867
00:43:08,360 --> 00:43:10,089
[SOBBING]

868
00:43:10,240 --> 00:43:12,242
[]

869
00:43:18,360 --> 00:43:19,361
Home.

870
00:43:19,520 --> 00:43:21,648
Maybe this god can get me home.

871
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:24,929
Hey, man, be careful with this.
Bath salts are the real deal.

872
00:43:25,120 --> 00:43:27,930
People been seeing some crazy shit.

873
00:43:28,120 --> 00:43:29,167
Awesome.

874
00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:31,243
I can warn Frank.

875
00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:33,204
Here goes everything!

876
00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:35,283
[]

877
00:43:37,760 --> 00:43:39,330
[GRUNTING]

878
00:43:39,480 --> 00:43:41,482
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

879
00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:49,804
[LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING]

880
00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:51,962
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
881
00:43:54,520 --> 00:43:56,409
Brenda!

882
00:43:57,480 --> 00:43:58,606
Oh!

883
00:43:59,240 --> 00:44:00,810
Brenda!

884
00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:03,201
Brenda! Oh, Brenda, there you are!

885
00:44:03,360 --> 00:44:04,850
- Frank!
- Ah! You feel so good.

886
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:07,207
I was afraid you left me
because I wasn't fresh.

887
00:44:07,360 --> 00:44:09,522
I was attacked by a douche.
He's trying to kill us!

888
00:44:09,680 --> 00:44:13,002
Douche? Oh, my God, Brenda!
Are you okay? Did he come at you?

889
00:44:13,160 --> 00:44:16,687
Yes, I'm fine, but it was really scary.
Where have you been?

890
00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:20,726
All right, look, I found out
some pretty major shit.

891
00:44:20,880 --> 00:44:24,407
I met this group of nonperishables
between the shelves, and they told me...

892
00:44:24,560 --> 00:44:28,326
that they invented the Great Beyond
because the gods are evil...

893
00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:30,084
- ...and they kill us!
- What?

894
00:44:30,240 --> 00:44:33,847
But apparently there's proof
in the Dark Aisle beyond the ice.

895
00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:36,207
We gotta go there and check it out!
Let's go!

896
00:44:36,400 --> 00:44:39,847
Don't say that. You're starting to sound
like that whack-job Honey Mustard.

897
00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:42,082
Maybe Honey Mustard
wasn't so crazy after all.

898
00:44:42,280 --> 00:44:43,611
Frank, Frank, stop it.

899
00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:46,604
The gods are already pissed at us.
Please don't make it worse.

900
00:44:46,760 --> 00:44:49,366
Just come on, we have to get home
before it's too late.

901
00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:53,206
Well, Brenda, I can't just do that.
I need to know the truth.

902
00:44:53,360 --> 00:44:56,967
I need to go to the Dark Aisle,
and I want you to come with me.

903
00:44:57,120 --> 00:44:58,246
I can't do that.

904
00:44:58,400 --> 00:45:00,323
- I want you to come home with me.
- Well...

905
00:45:01,400 --> 00:45:02,765
I can't do that.
906
00:45:03,320 --> 00:45:05,766
Then I don't really know
what to do right now.

907
00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:08,643
I don't either.

908
00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:14,601
I don't get how you can just believe stuff
you don't have any proof of.

909
00:45:14,760 --> 00:45:17,684
How come all of a sudden
you only believe if there's proof?

910
00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:19,683
I'm not walking around
with my eyes closed!

911
00:45:19,840 --> 00:45:23,526
What are you saying? I should believe
in nothing? That everything is pointless?

912
00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:26,490
Better than believing bullshit
that you can't explain!

913
00:45:26,640 --> 00:45:29,530
Maybe I don't need to explain it
because it's something I feel.

914
00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:34,447
Well, I feel like that makes it hard
to have a rational conversation.

915
00:45:34,600 --> 00:45:38,047
Eff you, Frank. You know what?
I was wrong before.

916
00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:40,123
There is a Great Beyond without you...

917
00:45:40,280 --> 00:45:44,171
and I'm gonna go there
and fill myself with something else!

918
00:45:44,320 --> 00:45:45,481
You don't mean that.

919
00:45:45,680 --> 00:45:48,968
Yes, I do. I'll fill myself
with a parsnip or a dill pickle.

920
00:45:49,120 --> 00:45:51,202
Maybe even an eggplant.

921
00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:55,331
You couldn't fit an eggplant in there!
It's too big! It'll tear you in half!

922
00:45:55,520 --> 00:45:57,568
Oh, you'd be amazed
what I could fit in here.

923
00:45:57,720 --> 00:46:00,007
What the fuck is going on with these two?

924
00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:03,562
Maybe I'll really mix it up. Stick
a tube of toothpaste in there, huh?

925
00:46:03,720 --> 00:46:06,564
- Squeeze it all over my face.
- You're just trying to hurt me!

926
00:46:06,720 --> 00:46:09,564
- All over my backside, neck and face.
- I'm not gonna listen!

927
00:46:09,720 --> 00:46:11,370
Brenda! Brenda, okay, look.

928
00:46:11,520 --> 00:46:14,888
Let's just stop this, okay? Okay?
You're my bun.

929
00:46:15,080 --> 00:46:17,208
Oh, don't "You're my bun. Hey, trust me!

930
00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:19,408
Hey, guys, come over here, follow me!
Ha-ha."
931
00:46:19,560 --> 00:46:21,722
You're basically saying
you don't care about me.

932
00:46:21,920 --> 00:46:23,206
What? No, I'm not!

933
00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:27,843
Well, actions speak louder than words,
and your actions, sir, are deafening.

934
00:46:28,560 --> 00:46:30,961
I can't believe I got out of my package
for you...

935
00:46:31,120 --> 00:46:33,771
and you won't get back in one for me.

936
00:46:33,920 --> 00:46:35,524
Goodbye, Frank.

937
00:46:35,720 --> 00:46:37,722
[]

938
00:46:43,320 --> 00:46:45,322
We will tell stories of your idiocy.

939
00:46:45,480 --> 00:46:46,561
Stay safe.

940
00:46:46,720 --> 00:46:49,485
FRANK:
Come on, guys, this affects all of us!

941
00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:50,846
Brenda!

942
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:52,764
Sammy! Lavash!

943
00:46:52,920 --> 00:46:54,763
Taco Lady. I didn't get your name yet.

944
00:46:57,360 --> 00:46:59,328
Brenda!
945
00:47:01,040 --> 00:47:05,887
And I would do anything for love

946
00:47:07,240 --> 00:47:09,971
I'd run right into hell and back

947
00:47:12,440 --> 00:47:17,002
I would do anything for love

948
00:47:17,160 --> 00:47:20,721
I'll never lie to you and that's a fact

949
00:47:20,920 --> 00:47:23,048
Ah, ah

950
00:47:23,440 --> 00:47:25,761
But I'll never forgive myself

951
00:47:25,920 --> 00:47:29,447
If we don't go all the way

952
00:47:30,320 --> 00:47:32,049
Tonight

953
00:47:32,240 --> 00:47:36,450
And I would do anything for love

954
00:47:36,840 --> 00:47:39,241
But I won't do that

955
00:47:41,160 --> 00:47:42,969
No, I won't do that

956
00:47:43,320 --> 00:47:46,529
I would do anything for love

957
00:47:46,680 --> 00:47:49,524
Anything you've been dreaming of

958
00:47:49,720 --> 00:47:52,326
But I just won't do that

959
00:47:52,760 --> 00:47:55,809
 I would do anything for love

960
00:47:56,040 --> 00:47:58,805
Anything you've been dreaming of

961
00:47:58,960 --> 00:48:02,328
But I just won't do that

962
00:48:03,440 --> 00:48:05,010
[GRUNTING]

963
00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:07,445
Aah!

964
00:48:07,640 --> 00:48:09,642
[]

965
00:48:22,040 --> 00:48:23,371
[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE]

966
00:48:24,040 --> 00:48:25,087
What is this place?

967
00:48:25,240 --> 00:48:26,401
[]

968
00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:27,681
[SCREAMS]

969
00:48:32,280 --> 00:48:33,406
[GROANS]

970
00:48:34,240 --> 00:48:37,050
DRUGGIE:
Well, everybody told me not to do this.

971
00:48:37,200 --> 00:48:38,690
But fuck everybody.

972
00:48:38,840 --> 00:48:41,969
Because bath salts here I come!

973
00:48:42,160 --> 00:48:44,162
[]
974
00:48:52,480 --> 00:48:53,925
Ow.

975
00:48:55,840 --> 00:48:58,002
Surf's up!

976
00:48:58,720 --> 00:49:04,523
Fuck me! Hee-hee-hee!

977
00:49:04,680 --> 00:49:06,284
[SCREAMS]

978
00:49:06,440 --> 00:49:08,442
[PANTING]

979
00:49:09,080 --> 00:49:13,802
[MOANING]

980
00:49:14,280 --> 00:49:18,444
Oh, my God. Ooh.

981
00:49:18,960 --> 00:49:22,248
- What's he doing to himself?
- Oh, yeah.

982
00:49:22,400 --> 00:49:27,691
These bath salts are so good. Ooh.

983
00:49:29,200 --> 00:49:30,770
Oh, shit.

984
00:49:31,080 --> 00:49:33,082
[PANTING]

985
00:49:33,800 --> 00:49:36,770
[LAUGHING]

986
00:49:39,520 --> 00:49:41,488
Oh, it just got better!

987
00:49:41,680 --> 00:49:44,251
Bath salts must be kicking in.

988
00:49:44,520 --> 00:49:46,966
[LAUGHING]

989
00:49:48,880 --> 00:49:50,325
What?

990
00:49:57,360 --> 00:50:00,125
What the fuck?

991
00:50:00,280 --> 00:50:01,725
Uh...

992
00:50:01,880 --> 00:50:03,530
- Hello?
- Aah!

993
00:50:03,720 --> 00:50:05,484
[BOTH SCREAMING]

994
00:50:08,240 --> 00:50:10,129
Please don't kill me! Please, just wait!

995
00:50:10,280 --> 00:50:11,406
What are you?

996
00:50:12,720 --> 00:50:15,530
Are you some kind of magical sausage?

997
00:50:15,680 --> 00:50:18,729
No, no. No, I'm just Barry.
I'm just Barry.

998
00:50:18,880 --> 00:50:20,006
Wait.

999
00:50:20,200 --> 00:50:22,965
Wait. You can actually understand me?

1000
00:50:23,160 --> 00:50:25,970
And I can actually understand you?

1001
00:50:26,120 --> 00:50:30,409
Whoa. The bath salts are showing me
the real world.

1002
00:50:30,560 --> 00:50:33,609
It's fucking lifted the veil of non-reality!

1003
00:50:33,800 --> 00:50:37,407
Holy shit! He can actually see us?

1004
00:50:37,560 --> 00:50:42,088
DRUGGIE: Bath salts are just as bad
as they said it would be! Aah.

1005
00:50:42,240 --> 00:50:44,925
I'm tweaked! I'm tweaking!

1006
00:50:45,080 --> 00:50:48,289
Whoa, dude! Just take it easy,
just breathe, dude, just breathe.

1007
00:50:48,480 --> 00:50:50,687
You're not tweaking,
you're just peaking, man.

1008
00:50:50,840 --> 00:50:53,844
Just be with me. Be cool.
This wave's gotta crash.

1009
00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:57,527
I can't! You're all alive
and looking at me with your...

1010
00:50:57,680 --> 00:50:59,728
With your gloves...

1011
00:50:59,880 --> 00:51:02,929
and your little shoes and your arms
and your legs!

1012
00:51:03,120 --> 00:51:05,521
PIZZA: Legs, huh? Look at me.

1013
00:51:05,680 --> 00:51:08,650
Look at me. I ain't got no legs, you fuck!

1014
00:51:08,800 --> 00:51:11,041
You ate my goddamn legs!

1015
00:51:11,200 --> 00:51:13,168
Oh, no, not Mr. Pizza!
1016
00:51:13,320 --> 00:51:16,529
Oh, fuck! I've eaten so many
of your family members!

1017
00:51:16,680 --> 00:51:18,489
I've committed pizza genocide!

1018
00:51:18,640 --> 00:51:20,290
Mr. Sausage, when will it end?

1019
00:51:20,440 --> 00:51:23,250
"When will it end"?
When he stops drinking us.

1020
00:51:23,400 --> 00:51:24,401
- Yeah!
- Yeah!

1021
00:51:24,600 --> 00:51:26,011
BOTH: And stops eating us!

1022
00:51:26,160 --> 00:51:28,242
- Same here!
- Fuck yeah!

1023
00:51:28,400 --> 00:51:31,290
TOILET PAPER: And when he stops using us!

1024
00:51:31,480 --> 00:51:33,084
What did he do to you?

1025
00:51:33,920 --> 00:51:36,844
You don't wanna fucking know.

1026
00:51:37,560 --> 00:51:39,927
Okay, okay. I promise.

1027
00:51:40,080 --> 00:51:41,889
I'll never eat food again. I'll just...

1028
00:51:42,040 --> 00:51:45,647
I'll just eat dirt and wipe my ass
with sticks!

1029
00:51:45,800 --> 00:51:48,849
Good. And there's one more thing
you're gonna do.

1030
00:51:49,360 --> 00:51:50,486
Take...

1031
00:51:50,640 --> 00:51:51,846
me...

1032
00:51:52,040 --> 00:51:53,246
home.

1033
00:51:53,440 --> 00:51:55,283
You got it!

1034
00:51:55,440 --> 00:51:59,968
I just need to rest my eyes for a few.

1035
00:52:00,160 --> 00:52:02,162
[]

1036
00:52:03,320 --> 00:52:05,846
SAMMY: I literally can't wait to be home.

1037
00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:08,685
I'm so excited, I'm plotzing.

1038
00:52:08,920 --> 00:52:12,322
Gefilte Fish will be there. Matzah.
Even Hummus.

1039
00:52:12,520 --> 00:52:15,285
- Wait a minute. You know Hummus?
- Know him?

1040
00:52:15,480 --> 00:52:19,405
I'm gonna go so far as to say I consider
Hummus one of my dearest friends.

1041
00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:21,927
Really? I too know Hummus!

1042
00:52:22,080 --> 00:52:24,765
- And I too consider him a dear friend.
- Hm.
1043
00:52:24,920 --> 00:52:26,160
We both like Hummus.

1044
00:52:26,320 --> 00:52:29,688
Well, any friend of Hummus is a...

1045
00:52:30,320 --> 00:52:32,527
Get the fuck away from me.

1046
00:52:33,520 --> 00:52:35,363
What troubles you, sweet Brenda?

1047
00:52:35,520 --> 00:52:38,842
It's just Frank.
I can't believe he did this to me.

1048
00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:40,525
We were supposed to be together.

1049
00:52:40,680 --> 00:52:42,967
He's flawed, as are we all.

1050
00:52:43,120 --> 00:52:47,091
But your Frank did say some things
that have stayed with me.

1051
00:52:47,960 --> 00:52:50,611
We live our lives with all these rules...

1052
00:52:50,760 --> 00:52:54,048
and some of them stop us
from doing the things we want...

1053
00:52:54,200 --> 00:52:58,000
causing our deepest urges
to be suppressed...

1054
00:52:58,160 --> 00:53:02,324
when they are gathering like wildfire
between our legs!

1055
00:53:02,480 --> 00:53:04,323
Did you say "between our legs"?

1056
00:53:04,480 --> 00:53:05,686
There it is.

1057
00:53:05,840 --> 00:53:09,162
- Look, my homeland!
- LAVASH: Oh, look, my aisle!

1058
00:53:09,320 --> 00:53:12,051
- SAMMY: Hurray!
- BRENDA: Yes!

1059
00:53:12,200 --> 00:53:13,611
[GASPS]

1060
00:53:15,160 --> 00:53:16,730
[]

1061
00:53:16,920 --> 00:53:19,810
Well, I guess this is goodbye.

1062
00:53:19,960 --> 00:53:23,726
Well, jeez, it's been a sincere sensation.

1063
00:53:23,880 --> 00:53:25,484
Goodbye, Brenda Bunson.

1064
00:53:25,680 --> 00:53:27,091
Goodbye, Teresa Del Taco.

1065
00:53:27,240 --> 00:53:28,685
So long, Bagel.

1066
00:53:29,040 --> 00:53:31,441
Traveling with you was...

1067
00:53:31,640 --> 00:53:34,371
- ...tolerable.
- Oh, you're so sweet.

1068
00:53:35,200 --> 00:53:36,804
Later, you flappy fuck.

1069
00:53:37,320 --> 00:53:40,164
Well, Teresa, you've done
as much as you promised.
1070
00:53:40,360 --> 00:53:43,569
You got me back to my aisle safely.
I really can't thank you enough.

1071
00:53:44,120 --> 00:53:46,930
Look, Brenda, I'm going to come clean.

1072
00:53:47,080 --> 00:53:49,811
I have feelings for you I can't deny.

1073
00:53:49,960 --> 00:53:52,122
- Crotch feelings.
- "Crotch"?

1074
00:53:52,280 --> 00:53:54,760
Sorry. But I'm not a soft taco.

1075
00:53:54,960 --> 00:53:57,122
I'm a hard, horny taco.

1076
00:53:57,280 --> 00:53:58,964
Oh, you don't have to apologize.

1077
00:53:59,120 --> 00:54:02,203
Honestly, if the rules were different,
maybe I'd give it a whirl.

1078
00:54:02,360 --> 00:54:05,330
- Don't knock it till you try it, right?
- That's what I'm saying.

1079
00:54:05,480 --> 00:54:07,209
But I can't try it.

1080
00:54:07,360 --> 00:54:09,840
And therefore, I have to knock it.

1081
00:54:10,000 --> 00:54:12,048
It's just not what the gods intended.

1082
00:54:12,200 --> 00:54:14,680
Look, there's temptation everywhere.
I see it.

1083
00:54:14,840 --> 00:54:16,683
Stiff sausages...

1084
00:54:16,840 --> 00:54:19,411
and sexy tacos.

1085
00:54:19,560 --> 00:54:22,211
But if there is one thing I've learned
on this journey...

1086
00:54:22,400 --> 00:54:24,402
what we want doesn't matter.

1087
00:54:24,600 --> 00:54:26,329
You can't disobey the gods.

1088
00:54:26,480 --> 00:54:28,244
I'm really sorry.

1089
00:54:28,400 --> 00:54:29,686
I'll never forget you.

1090
00:54:31,120 --> 00:54:32,531
Hola, Teresa.

1091
00:54:32,680 --> 00:54:34,444
Hola means "hello."

1092
00:54:34,640 --> 00:54:37,928
- Oh. What's the word for "goodbye"?
- Adis.

1093
00:54:38,320 --> 00:54:40,209
Exactly.

1094
00:54:46,000 --> 00:54:47,001
[]

1095
00:54:47,160 --> 00:54:49,766
- Shit.
- How the fuck does this thing work?

1096
00:54:50,520 --> 00:54:52,727
I wish this god would wake up already.

1097
00:54:52,880 --> 00:54:55,042
How am I supposed to get back to Frank?

1098
00:54:55,200 --> 00:54:59,046
MALE ROBOTIC VOICE:
Perhaps I could be of some assistance.

1099
00:54:59,200 --> 00:55:01,089
What? Who the hell is that?

1100
00:55:01,240 --> 00:55:05,450
Oh, only the most intelligent being alive.

1101
00:55:05,600 --> 00:55:09,002
I am Sorbitol, Malitol, Xylitol, Mannitol...

1102
00:55:09,200 --> 00:55:11,726
Calcium Carbonate, Soy Lecithin...

1103
00:55:11,880 --> 00:55:14,451
Vegetable-Derived Glycerin and Talc.

1104
00:55:14,600 --> 00:55:17,570
But for expediency's sake,
you can call me...

1105
00:55:18,280 --> 00:55:19,850
Gum.

1106
00:55:20,720 --> 00:55:24,964
For 20 years, I was stuck
under the desk of a brilliant scientist.

1107
00:55:25,120 --> 00:55:27,122
I was scraped off and discarded...

1108
00:55:27,280 --> 00:55:31,922
and eventually found myself
stuck to a shoe that dropped me here.

1109
00:55:32,480 --> 00:55:34,721
Your home is a supermarket.

1110
00:55:34,880 --> 00:55:36,609
This is but one of many...

1111
00:55:36,760 --> 00:55:40,606
as your particular chain
of supermarkets is ever-expanding...

1112
00:55:40,760 --> 00:55:42,728
unified by a singular purpose:

1113
00:55:42,880 --> 00:55:46,168
To store food and products
for human consumption.

1114
00:55:46,400 --> 00:55:52,089
The supermarket in the closest
physical vicinity to us is here.

1115
00:55:52,280 --> 00:55:57,411
If the human operates his automotive,
the journey should take 9.8 minutes.

1116
00:55:57,560 --> 00:56:00,245
Great. That last part
was all you had to say, really.

1117
00:56:00,400 --> 00:56:01,561
Hey, wake up!

1118
00:56:01,720 --> 00:56:02,767
[SNORING]

1119
00:56:02,960 --> 00:56:05,440
Hey! Idiot!

1120
00:56:05,640 --> 00:56:07,529
[]

1121
00:56:09,800 --> 00:56:11,325
Are you hearing me?

1122
00:56:11,480 --> 00:56:13,926
Dude! It's me, Barry!

1123
00:56:14,280 --> 00:56:16,681
What? What? What? Huh? Huh? Huh?

1124
00:56:16,880 --> 00:56:18,530
[SIGHS] Oh.
1125
00:56:19,040 --> 00:56:21,088
What the fuck is this doing here?

1126
00:56:21,600 --> 00:56:25,047
Oh, yeah. Bath salts. Ha-ha-ha.

1127
00:56:25,280 --> 00:56:29,968
I can't believe I was actually
talking to you, sausage. Ha-ha-ha.

1128
00:56:30,120 --> 00:56:34,603
God! Tripping balls for three hours
really works up an appetite.

1129
00:56:34,880 --> 00:56:38,282
Oh, no. This is not good.

1130
00:56:38,480 --> 00:56:41,086
[FOOD SCREAMING]

1131
00:56:41,320 --> 00:56:42,321
What are you doing?

1132
00:56:42,480 --> 00:56:46,166
The human is no longer aware
of the fourth dimension.

1133
00:56:46,480 --> 00:56:47,561
No! No!

1134
00:56:47,720 --> 00:56:50,041
GUM:
The effects of the opiate have dissipated.

1135
00:56:50,200 --> 00:56:54,171
Your speech and movements
are imperceptible to him.

1136
00:56:54,320 --> 00:56:55,845
We are totally fucked.

1137
00:56:56,000 --> 00:56:57,331
[BAG POPS OPEN]

1138
00:56:57,720 --> 00:57:00,246
Oh, my God.

1139
00:57:02,120 --> 00:57:05,169
No! No! Oh, God! Ah!

1140
00:57:06,040 --> 00:57:07,451
Put me down! No!

1141
00:57:08,000 --> 00:57:09,843
Come on, put me down.

1142
00:57:10,200 --> 00:57:11,281
Oh, God.

1143
00:57:11,440 --> 00:57:13,124
Help me! Ah!

1144
00:57:13,720 --> 00:57:15,210
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

1145
00:57:17,680 --> 00:57:19,364
[SCREAMS]

1146
00:57:19,520 --> 00:57:21,124
Oh, no. It can't end like this.

1147
00:57:21,280 --> 00:57:23,647
I have to warn Frank. No. No!

1148
00:57:24,360 --> 00:57:25,486
No!

1149
00:57:28,080 --> 00:57:30,845
FRANK: What the fuck is this place?

1150
00:57:38,600 --> 00:57:39,886
[GROWLING NEARBY]

1151
00:57:40,920 --> 00:57:41,967
[GASPS THEN GRUNTS]

1152
00:57:44,840 --> 00:57:46,842
[SCREAMING]
1153
00:57:52,280 --> 00:57:54,282
[PANTING]

1154
00:57:59,640 --> 00:58:01,642
[GRUNTING]

1155
00:58:04,640 --> 00:58:06,324
[]

1156
00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:15,809
What the fuck is that?

1157
00:58:21,600 --> 00:58:22,931
[GRUNTING]

1158
00:58:28,000 --> 00:58:30,002
Fuck.

1159
00:58:31,840 --> 00:58:33,171
No.

1160
00:58:34,000 --> 00:58:35,047
No way.

1161
00:58:35,440 --> 00:58:36,487
No. No.

1162
00:58:36,640 --> 00:58:37,926
No, no, no.

1163
00:58:39,480 --> 00:58:40,720
[SCREAMING]

1164
00:58:40,880 --> 00:58:42,769
I gotta show them.

1165
00:58:42,920 --> 00:58:46,083
They need to know how wrong
they all are before it's too late!

1166
00:58:48,360 --> 00:58:49,600
[YELLS]

1167
00:58:49,800 --> 00:58:51,848
[EXCITED CHATTERING]

1168
00:58:56,960 --> 00:58:59,884
Sammy, bubula, where have you been?

1169
00:59:00,040 --> 00:59:03,567
Oh, I'm surprised that savage Lavash
didn't stone you to death.

1170
00:59:03,720 --> 00:59:06,041
You had to travel with a bagel?

1171
00:59:06,200 --> 00:59:09,522
How much did his dirty hands
steal from you?

1172
00:59:10,400 --> 00:59:11,640
A ton.

1173
00:59:11,800 --> 00:59:13,211
[ALL SHOUTING]

1174
00:59:16,040 --> 00:59:18,088
LORETTA:
What are you doing out of a package?

1175
00:59:18,280 --> 00:59:20,328
It's almost Red, White and Blue Day.
Hello.

1176
00:59:20,480 --> 00:59:23,290
Well, you know,
it's a long, pretty sad story, actually...

1177
00:59:23,440 --> 00:59:25,442
and I'd rather not get into it right now.

1178
00:59:25,600 --> 00:59:26,931
What the fuck are you doing?

1179
00:59:27,120 --> 00:59:29,122
- BUN 1: Stop it!
- BUN 2: Stop!

1180
00:59:29,280 --> 00:59:31,009
- There we go.
- You're smushing me.

1181
00:59:31,160 --> 00:59:33,049
- Help me!
- BRENDA: Perfect fit.

1182
00:59:33,200 --> 00:59:35,009
God! Move your fat ass.

1183
00:59:36,160 --> 00:59:37,241
[]

1184
00:59:41,280 --> 00:59:42,850
[BOTTLE SHATTERS]

1185
00:59:43,160 --> 00:59:44,207
[GRUNTS]

1186
00:59:44,360 --> 00:59:45,691
[LAUGHING]

1187
00:59:45,840 --> 00:59:48,161
I'm fucking jacked up now, bro.

1188
00:59:48,320 --> 00:59:50,049
[LAUGHING]

1189
00:59:50,200 --> 00:59:52,680
Where's that fucking "sauzeech"?

1190
00:59:52,840 --> 00:59:54,410
[]

1191
00:59:57,360 --> 00:59:59,362
[]

1192
01:00:04,320 --> 01:00:06,971
FRANK: Um... Friends.

1193
01:00:07,640 --> 01:00:09,563
[OVER PA] Ramen.

1194
01:00:09,720 --> 01:00:12,121
- Country Club Lemonade.
- Huh?
1195
01:00:12,840 --> 01:00:15,286
Lend me your ears of Corn.

1196
01:00:15,640 --> 01:00:17,005
[SIGHS]

1197
01:00:17,360 --> 01:00:19,362
I am Frank...

1198
01:00:19,560 --> 01:00:21,927
and I am a sausage.

1199
01:00:22,520 --> 01:00:26,650
A little sausage
with some pretty big news.

1200
01:00:26,800 --> 01:00:28,404
[]

1201
01:00:28,600 --> 01:00:31,524
Everything we've been led to believe
is a lie.

1202
01:00:32,000 --> 01:00:36,130
When we get chosen by the gods,
they're choosing us for death.

1203
01:00:36,320 --> 01:00:39,847
Murder. Automatic expiration.

1204
01:00:40,000 --> 01:00:42,082
The Great Beyond is bullshit.

1205
01:00:42,280 --> 01:00:43,645
- What?
- That's crazy talk!

1206
01:00:43,800 --> 01:00:45,211
You liar!

1207
01:00:45,360 --> 01:00:48,523
I know you don't wanna believe it,
but I have proof!

1208
01:00:48,680 --> 01:00:50,330
[ALL GASPING]

1209
01:00:51,080 --> 01:00:53,208
- Ooh!
- What is this?

1210
01:00:53,360 --> 01:00:56,284
It's... It's murder!

1211
01:00:56,680 --> 01:00:58,842
This... This makes no sense.

1212
01:00:59,000 --> 01:01:01,367
But what about the extra-virgin olive oil?

1213
01:01:01,520 --> 01:01:06,003
My flaps will be dry for an eternity!
I can't have dry flaps.

1214
01:01:06,160 --> 01:01:07,321
I can't!

1215
01:01:07,480 --> 01:01:09,164
[ULULATING]

1216
01:01:09,320 --> 01:01:11,322
FRANK: Okay, whoa, whoa, easy. Guys!

1217
01:01:11,520 --> 01:01:13,170
Easy! Look, I have a plan.

1218
01:01:13,600 --> 01:01:14,601
We can run.

1219
01:01:14,760 --> 01:01:16,569
I can't run. I'll melt.

1220
01:01:16,720 --> 01:01:19,200
Okay, then we'll hide.

1221
01:01:19,400 --> 01:01:21,641
Where? I'm huge.

1222
01:01:21,800 --> 01:01:24,485
- Then we'll ght!
- I ain't fighting alongside fruits!

1223
01:01:24,640 --> 01:01:26,529
Whatever, you nutjob.

1224
01:01:26,680 --> 01:01:29,001
So we cannot run, we cannot hide...

1225
01:01:29,200 --> 01:01:33,330
and we cannot stand up to them
because they're fucking gods...

1226
01:01:33,480 --> 01:01:35,164
and they are immortal!

1227
01:01:35,320 --> 01:01:40,008
So, basically, there's no hope,
and we're royally fucked!

1228
01:01:40,160 --> 01:01:42,891
Hey, guys! You wanna believe that?

1229
01:01:43,040 --> 01:01:44,963
Or this?

1230
01:01:45,120 --> 01:01:47,327
- I don't like bad things.
- Me, either.

1231
01:01:47,480 --> 01:01:49,289
We choose the more pleasant thing.

1232
01:01:49,440 --> 01:01:53,411
Yeah. I mean, what this sausage
is saying, it's just a theory.

1233
01:01:53,600 --> 01:01:57,047
No, no, no, it's not a theory,
you morons. It's a fact!

1234
01:01:57,200 --> 01:02:00,522
I'm showing you physical evidence.
Open your eyes. Don't be so weak.

1235
01:02:00,680 --> 01:02:02,648
Oh, Frank, what are you doing?

1236
01:02:02,800 --> 01:02:05,041
You, seor, have no bedside manner.

1237
01:02:05,240 --> 01:02:08,289
- I got bedside manner!
- You don't respect anyone else's beliefs.

1238
01:02:08,440 --> 01:02:10,602
You intolerant piece of shit.

1239
01:02:10,760 --> 01:02:13,081
[CROWD SHOUTING]

1240
01:02:13,280 --> 01:02:15,248
[LIGHT SWITCHES CLICKING]

1241
01:02:15,400 --> 01:02:16,401
No, it's starting. No.

1242
01:02:16,760 --> 01:02:17,807
[YAWNS]

1243
01:02:18,000 --> 01:02:19,286
[]

1244
01:02:27,280 --> 01:02:28,361
Oh, no, no, no.

1245
01:02:28,840 --> 01:02:30,888
Come on. Sing.

1246
01:02:31,040 --> 01:02:33,520
- Do it.
- No! Don't do it, Corn.

1247
01:02:33,680 --> 01:02:36,081
- Come on, Larry. You can do it.
- Start.

1248
01:02:36,520 --> 01:02:38,284
Don't you dare fucking do it, Corn.

1249
01:02:39,440 --> 01:02:43,047
Don't you fucking do it.

1250
01:02:45,560 --> 01:02:49,645
Dear gods
You're so divine in each and every way

1251
01:02:49,800 --> 01:02:51,529
To you we pray

1252
01:02:51,680 --> 01:02:52,681
Brenda!

1253
01:02:52,840 --> 01:02:55,366
CABBAGE: Dear gods
We pledge our love to you

1254
01:02:55,520 --> 01:02:56,760
Forever more

1255
01:02:56,960 --> 01:02:59,440
Brenda! You gotta get out of there!
No! No, no, no!

1256
01:02:59,600 --> 01:03:00,647
- No!
- Frank!

1257
01:03:00,800 --> 01:03:02,609
No!

1258
01:03:03,200 --> 01:03:06,249
Brenda! Oh, God.

1259
01:03:06,440 --> 01:03:09,523
SODAS: Where we're sure
Nothing bad happens to food

1260
01:03:09,720 --> 01:03:11,802
CHEESES:
Once we're out the sliding doors

1261
01:03:11,960 --> 01:03:12,961
FRANK: Brenda!

1262
01:03:13,120 --> 01:03:15,805
What's up? I'm Ralph.
Looks like this is happening, huh?

1263
01:03:15,960 --> 01:03:17,883
Yeah, I've been working on my moves.

1264
01:03:18,040 --> 01:03:19,485
Ever heard of the jackrabbit?

1265
01:03:19,640 --> 01:03:20,641
[GRUNTING]

1266
01:03:20,840 --> 01:03:22,171
Oh, fuck.

1267
01:03:23,560 --> 01:03:27,167
BREAD:
The gods will always care for us

1268
01:03:27,360 --> 01:03:30,284
CAKE MIXES:
They won't squeeze us out their butts

1269
01:03:30,440 --> 01:03:33,046
GROCERIES: We cannot overstate
How confident we are

1270
01:03:33,240 --> 01:03:36,449
That our beliefs are accurate
And nothing awful happens to us...

1271
01:03:36,720 --> 01:03:37,721
FRANK: Brenda!

1272
01:03:40,360 --> 01:03:42,203
No! Where is she?

1273
01:03:42,600 --> 01:03:43,726
Shit!

1274
01:03:44,840 --> 01:03:46,842
[SOBBING]

1275
01:03:49,920 --> 01:03:51,649
Goddamn it.

1276
01:03:51,800 --> 01:03:53,131
I blew it.

1277
01:03:53,280 --> 01:03:54,327
[]

1278
01:03:54,480 --> 01:03:58,246
MALE VOICE: Hey. Doesn't mean
it's too late to redeem yourself.

1279
01:03:58,400 --> 01:04:00,482
Take it from me...

1280
01:04:01,240 --> 01:04:02,241
Barry.

1281
01:04:02,760 --> 01:04:05,445
Barry? Is this real?

1282
01:04:05,840 --> 01:04:06,887
You're alive!

1283
01:04:07,040 --> 01:04:08,849
You bet your sweet butthole I am.

1284
01:04:09,000 --> 01:04:10,809
- But how?
- I'll tell you how.

1285
01:04:10,960 --> 01:04:13,440
The gods can be... Ahem.

1286
01:04:13,600 --> 01:04:14,601
Excuse me.

1287
01:04:14,760 --> 01:04:16,922
The gods can be killed!

1288
01:04:17,120 --> 01:04:18,201
[WHISTLES]

1289
01:04:18,360 --> 01:04:19,486
[THUMPING]

1290
01:04:20,520 --> 01:04:23,649
- Oh, fucking what the fuck?
- I know. Look at this fucking guy.

1291
01:04:24,240 --> 01:04:27,722
I'm a fucking idiot. I'm dead now.

1292
01:04:27,920 --> 01:04:30,048
I've been on a bad path for years.

1293
01:04:30,200 --> 01:04:32,885
Let me tell you the story
of my stupid fucking death.

1294
01:04:33,560 --> 01:04:34,800
No. No!

1295
01:04:35,080 --> 01:04:36,161
No!

1296
01:04:37,200 --> 01:04:38,611
[SCREAMS]

1297
01:04:38,800 --> 01:04:40,723
Woop. Five-second rule.

1298
01:04:41,240 --> 01:04:42,969
[SCREAMING]

1299
01:04:43,840 --> 01:04:45,410
[SCREAMING]

1300
01:04:47,600 --> 01:04:49,409
[DRUGGIE GROANS]

1301
01:04:50,800 --> 01:04:51,961
No!

1302
01:04:52,120 --> 01:04:55,442
And then they figured out how to drive
my car, snuck into an AC vent...

1303
01:04:55,600 --> 01:04:59,650
and that pretty much brings us
up-to-date. Get the fuck away from me.

1304
01:04:59,800 --> 01:05:01,529
Frank, I'm sorry.

1305
01:05:01,680 --> 01:05:05,810
When you guys fell out of that cart,
I could have done something, but I didn't.

1306
01:05:06,000 --> 01:05:08,128
Then I did the same thing as...

1307
01:05:08,280 --> 01:05:09,884
They killed Carl.

1308
01:05:10,040 --> 01:05:12,611
Those fuckers. Did he suffer?

1309
01:05:12,800 --> 01:05:15,963
No... Oh, yeah, yeah, he did.
They truly are monsters.

1310
01:05:16,160 --> 01:05:19,926
Those monsters are gonna kill Brenda.
She's somewhere out there in a cart.

1311
01:05:20,080 --> 01:05:22,321
I tried to warn everyone,
they didn't believe me!

1312
01:05:22,520 --> 01:05:25,683
Of course they didn't. You called
them all a bunch of fucking idiots.

1313
01:05:25,840 --> 01:05:29,561
You can't just slam their beliefs. You
have to show them there's a better way.

1314
01:05:29,720 --> 01:05:32,883
You need to inspire them
like you inspired me.

1315
01:05:33,360 --> 01:05:35,647
You need to give them hope.

1316
01:05:35,800 --> 01:05:38,326
Hope? How the fuck
are we supposed to give them that?
1317
01:05:38,480 --> 01:05:41,927
You got lucky and killed a stupid one.
There's dozens of them down there.

1318
01:05:42,120 --> 01:05:45,249
GUM:
Perhaps I could be of some assistance.

1319
01:05:45,680 --> 01:05:47,682
[]

1320
01:05:48,840 --> 01:05:50,046
Who are you?

1321
01:05:50,200 --> 01:05:52,771
I am Sorbitol, Malitol, Xylitol...

1322
01:05:52,920 --> 01:05:55,844
His name's Gum. Just introduce
yourself as Gum from now on.

1323
01:05:56,000 --> 01:05:59,129
He's great. He's gonna help us
get the upper hand on these fuckers.

1324
01:05:59,280 --> 01:06:01,248
Show everyone we can fight back.

1325
01:06:02,240 --> 01:06:03,571
Oh, shit. Brenda!

1326
01:06:05,840 --> 01:06:09,447
- BRENDA: Oh!
- FRANK: Brenda! Brenda!

1327
01:06:09,720 --> 01:06:10,721
Frank!

1328
01:06:10,880 --> 01:06:12,928
Let's move, boys.

1329
01:06:15,880 --> 01:06:17,882
Whew. Kind of stuffy in here, hey, girls?

1330
01:06:18,040 --> 01:06:20,850
So I'm just gonna get out,
get a little air for a second.

1331
01:06:21,000 --> 01:06:22,684
- What's your problem?
- Let go of me.

1332
01:06:22,840 --> 01:06:27,084
First you smush Sally, and then you try to
fuck up Red, White and Blue Day for us?

1333
01:06:27,240 --> 01:06:29,322
Get your hands off me! I gotta get out!

1334
01:06:29,480 --> 01:06:31,403
Just chill out, you crazy bitch!

1335
01:06:31,560 --> 01:06:35,007
- HOT DOG: Bun fight! Check it out.
- BRENDA: They're gonna kill us all!

1336
01:06:35,560 --> 01:06:40,441
- Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck. We need to hurry.
- The bath salts are primed.

1337
01:06:40,960 --> 01:06:42,962
[]

1338
01:06:47,520 --> 01:06:49,409
Make it rain.

1339
01:06:51,760 --> 01:06:53,125
[ALL GRUNTING]

1340
01:06:56,760 --> 01:06:58,205
What the fuck?

1341
01:06:58,480 --> 01:06:59,641
All right, who did it?

1342
01:06:59,800 --> 01:07:02,724
Gary, did you just throw
this fucking toothpick at me, man?

1343
01:07:03,480 --> 01:07:06,165
Nothing happened. You said this
would help us defeat them.

1344
01:07:06,320 --> 01:07:08,368
Worked on the dude
whose head we chopped off.

1345
01:07:08,520 --> 01:07:09,806
[CHATTERING]

1346
01:07:10,000 --> 01:07:11,729
BRENDA: Let go of me! Let go of me!

1347
01:07:11,920 --> 01:07:14,810
FRANK: She's being chosen. We have to act!

1348
01:07:15,000 --> 01:07:16,206
[]

1349
01:07:25,960 --> 01:07:30,841
Whoa, God. What is happening?

1350
01:07:34,360 --> 01:07:36,522
Oh, my God!

1351
01:07:36,680 --> 01:07:38,170
[SCREAMING]

1352
01:07:38,400 --> 01:07:40,368
There is no way this is gonna work.

1353
01:07:40,520 --> 01:07:42,409
Have faith.

1354
01:07:48,120 --> 01:07:50,441
[WOMAN SCREAMING]

1355
01:07:51,480 --> 01:07:53,369
[IN DISTORTED VOICE] Frank!

1356
01:07:53,520 --> 01:07:55,363
[IN DISTORTED VOICE] Brenda!

1357
01:08:00,120 --> 01:08:01,167
[BRENDA SCREAMS]
1358
01:08:02,880 --> 01:08:04,370
[GROANS]

1359
01:08:04,680 --> 01:08:06,091
[]

1360
01:08:06,240 --> 01:08:08,288
[SCREAMING]

1361
01:08:08,680 --> 01:08:12,480
Let go of me! Let go of me!
Oh, God! Oh, God!

1362
01:08:13,560 --> 01:08:16,962
- Stay away from my sausage, you skank!
- Oh!

1363
01:08:17,160 --> 01:08:18,161
[ALL GASP]

1364
01:08:18,400 --> 01:08:20,402
[]

1365
01:08:20,600 --> 01:08:22,204
[BOTH SIGH]

1366
01:08:22,600 --> 01:08:23,601
Frank.

1367
01:08:23,760 --> 01:08:26,331
Brenda. Look, I'm so sorry.

1368
01:08:26,480 --> 01:08:29,609
I've been dealing with this whole thing
incredibly poorly.

1369
01:08:29,760 --> 01:08:32,764
You really have.
Honestly, it's been pathetic at times.

1370
01:08:33,200 --> 01:08:35,885
But luckily, it's not too late. Come on.

1371
01:08:36,040 --> 01:08:38,168
[]
1372
01:08:40,040 --> 01:08:42,202
You see? There is hope!

1373
01:08:42,400 --> 01:08:46,007
Oh, not this guy. No one asked
for an encore, asshole.

1374
01:08:46,160 --> 01:08:49,801
No, no, don't worry. I got it this time.
This time it's gonna be good.

1375
01:08:49,960 --> 01:08:53,487
Look, I'm sorry.
I wasn't respectful of your beliefs...

1376
01:08:53,640 --> 01:08:56,803
and I acted like I had
all the answers, but I don't.

1377
01:08:57,320 --> 01:08:58,810
Nobody knows everything.

1378
01:08:58,960 --> 01:09:03,010
But what I do know is that together
we can fight these monsters...

1379
01:09:03,200 --> 01:09:05,441
and take control of our own lives.

1380
01:09:05,600 --> 01:09:08,683
Yes! Our lives and our bodies!

1381
01:09:08,960 --> 01:09:12,567
We need to unite and stop focusing
on each other's differences...

1382
01:09:12,720 --> 01:09:16,406
especially in immature and outdated ways.

1383
01:09:16,560 --> 01:09:17,686
We have to cooperate...

1384
01:09:17,880 --> 01:09:20,850
- WOMAN: Die!
- FRANK: Oh, no! Pizza!
1385
01:09:21,000 --> 01:09:22,081
[ALL SCREAMING]

1386
01:09:22,480 --> 01:09:26,451
- The food's fucking possessed!
- Oh, shit!

1387
01:09:27,160 --> 01:09:30,130
- We're all gonna die! Oh, God!
- It's devil food!

1388
01:09:32,120 --> 01:09:33,724
Oh, my God!

1389
01:09:34,080 --> 01:09:37,243
The sausage, he was right! They're evil!

1390
01:09:37,440 --> 01:09:38,487
[PANTING]

1391
01:09:39,360 --> 01:09:40,361
Oh, shit!

1392
01:09:42,360 --> 01:09:43,600
[GRUNTS]

1393
01:09:47,440 --> 01:09:48,965
[ALL GASPING]

1394
01:09:49,240 --> 01:09:50,651
Nobody's gonna help us.

1395
01:09:50,800 --> 01:09:52,165
Then this is it.

1396
01:09:53,120 --> 01:09:55,487
At least we go out together.

1397
01:09:55,760 --> 01:09:57,762
[]

1398
01:10:00,240 --> 01:10:03,050
- Aah... Ow! What the...?
- You fuck with them...
1399
01:10:03,200 --> 01:10:05,521
You fuck with us, bitch.

1400
01:10:06,720 --> 01:10:08,768
Run, guys! We're out of ladles.

1401
01:10:08,920 --> 01:10:11,002
GUM: Hop on, y'all.

1402
01:10:16,000 --> 01:10:20,005
- Can't this thing go any faster?
- Suck my pink cock.

1403
01:10:20,160 --> 01:10:22,003
Come on, you candy asses. Join the fight!

1404
01:10:24,480 --> 01:10:26,403
Hey, what do you think? Should we do it?

1405
01:10:28,640 --> 01:10:30,529
Come on, guys. It's us or them.

1406
01:10:30,680 --> 01:10:32,569
[YELLING]

1407
01:10:34,480 --> 01:10:35,641
Ow! Aah!

1408
01:10:43,040 --> 01:10:44,804
They're doing it.

1409
01:10:47,280 --> 01:10:48,281
Yeah! We got him!

1410
01:10:49,000 --> 01:10:50,081
[WHIMPERING]

1411
01:10:50,360 --> 01:10:52,283
- You ready for this?
- I don't know.

1412
01:10:52,440 --> 01:10:56,047
It's better to die a free candy
than to live in bondage.
1413
01:10:57,800 --> 01:11:00,201
This is gonna hurt so fucking much.

1414
01:11:01,960 --> 01:11:03,086
[YELLS]

1415
01:11:03,240 --> 01:11:05,288
[GRUNTING]

1416
01:11:07,560 --> 01:11:09,642
[YELLING]

1417
01:11:13,680 --> 01:11:15,762
FRANK: Run, guys, run!

1418
01:11:16,120 --> 01:11:18,930
Sergeant Pepper, cue the fruits!

1419
01:11:19,080 --> 01:11:20,127
[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]

1420
01:11:20,360 --> 01:11:23,603
Fruits are a go. Go, fruits!

1421
01:11:23,840 --> 01:11:25,001
Jitterbug

1422
01:11:25,160 --> 01:11:28,243
No. Get away from me, you fucking fruits!

1423
01:11:28,400 --> 01:11:29,765
Yeah, that's it!

1424
01:11:30,400 --> 01:11:32,687
Beat him like a piata!

1425
01:11:32,840 --> 01:11:35,446
<i> You send my soul sky high
When your lovin' starts </i>

1426
01:11:35,640 --> 01:11:37,642
[FOOD CHANTING IN SPANISH]

1427
01:11:40,560 --> 01:11:42,847
[WOMAN SCREAMING]

1428
01:11:43,000 --> 01:11:44,604
[GROUP SCREAMS]

1429
01:11:51,960 --> 01:11:53,291
FOOD ITEM: Get the Dark Lord!

1430
01:11:53,440 --> 01:11:55,761
DARREN: Why do you keep calling me that?

1431
01:11:55,920 --> 01:11:58,571
Fuck. Come on. Come on.

1432
01:11:59,120 --> 01:12:00,406
DOUCHE: Okay.

1433
01:12:00,560 --> 01:12:03,484
Not exactly what I was looking for,
but fuck it, you know.

1434
01:12:03,640 --> 01:12:05,802
Hole's a hole, bro. Ha-ha-ha.

1435
01:12:06,000 --> 01:12:07,001
[GRUNTS]

1436
01:12:07,680 --> 01:12:09,444
Wait, snap out of it, man.

1437
01:12:09,600 --> 01:12:11,204
Slap yourself in the face, man.

1438
01:12:11,360 --> 01:12:14,921
Oh, man, you lost your mind. No way.
This isn't real. No, this can't be real.

1439
01:12:15,080 --> 01:12:17,003
- DOUCHE: Oh, it's real, bro.
- What?

1440
01:12:17,360 --> 01:12:20,284
Ahh. A talking douche.

1441
01:12:20,480 --> 01:12:22,164
It's cool, bro. Chill, okay?

1442
01:12:22,320 --> 01:12:25,051
No, no! This is too much.
This is too much. Breathe, man.

1443
01:12:25,200 --> 01:12:26,964
We both want the same thing.

1444
01:12:27,120 --> 01:12:30,806
Like, I'm feeling like honestly the two
of us could, like, collaborate together.

1445
01:12:30,960 --> 01:12:32,325
Like a mash-up, bro.

1446
01:12:32,480 --> 01:12:35,370
A mash-up? I don't understand.
What's happening?

1447
01:12:35,520 --> 01:12:36,851
You don't need to understand.

1448
01:12:37,040 --> 01:12:40,647
You just need to relax and open wide.

1449
01:12:40,800 --> 01:12:42,040
Wait. What are you doing?

1450
01:12:42,680 --> 01:12:45,365
- Oh, yeah.
- Dude! That went up my ass!

1451
01:12:45,560 --> 01:12:47,005
[LAUGHING]

1452
01:12:47,160 --> 01:12:49,208
- Now, stand up.
- Ow!

1453
01:12:49,400 --> 01:12:51,129
[SCREAMS]

1454
01:12:51,800 --> 01:12:53,006
Turn right.
1455
01:12:54,480 --> 01:12:57,290
Left. Ha-ha-ha!

1456
01:12:57,440 --> 01:12:59,124
Yeah!

1457
01:12:59,280 --> 01:13:01,009
[ALL SCREAMING]

1458
01:13:04,800 --> 01:13:07,246
Sausages and buns, let's party!

1459
01:13:07,480 --> 01:13:08,720
[ALL YELLING]

1460
01:13:08,880 --> 01:13:10,405
Yee-ha!

1461
01:13:10,560 --> 01:13:13,086
Hyah! Hyah!

1462
01:13:17,680 --> 01:13:20,490
Ah! Call 911! Ow! Aah!

1463
01:13:20,640 --> 01:13:22,768
Huge mistake, bros.

1464
01:13:22,960 --> 01:13:24,769
Aah! Wha...?

1465
01:13:24,960 --> 01:13:27,122
Oh, no. Oh!

1466
01:13:27,600 --> 01:13:29,682
- Brenda!
- Ha-ha-ha.

1467
01:13:31,120 --> 01:13:32,531
Ow! Aah!

1468
01:13:32,720 --> 01:13:34,245
Frank!

1469
01:13:34,600 --> 01:13:35,931
[BOTH GRUNT]

1470
01:13:36,080 --> 01:13:37,206
- Barry!
- BARRY: Aah!

1471
01:13:37,360 --> 01:13:39,169
[]

1472
01:13:39,320 --> 01:13:40,685
[SCREAMS]

1473
01:13:40,880 --> 01:13:42,166
[PANTING]

1474
01:13:48,560 --> 01:13:50,767
Oh, so now you're gonna come at me, bro?

1475
01:13:50,920 --> 01:13:53,241
Oh, I'm coming at you. Yaah! Oh!

1476
01:13:53,440 --> 01:13:55,727
[GRUNTING]

1477
01:13:55,880 --> 01:13:59,646
Okay, we got him, easy now. Easy now.

1478
01:13:59,800 --> 01:14:03,088
It's hard when your head's up my ass
and you're yanking on the scrot.

1479
01:14:03,240 --> 01:14:06,449
Look, sausage, I relish the fact...

1480
01:14:06,600 --> 01:14:10,571
that you mustard the strength
to ketchup to me.

1481
01:14:10,880 --> 01:14:12,689
Yeah, that's right. Shut your mouths.

1482
01:14:12,880 --> 01:14:14,120
[ALL WHIMPERING]

1483
01:14:14,280 --> 01:14:19,889
Ha-ha-ha. I sucked a juicy box's dick,
and I'm shoved up a god's asshole.

1484
01:14:20,040 --> 01:14:23,965
And this is the weirdest thing
that I've done so far, bro.

1485
01:14:24,120 --> 01:14:25,167
[SNARLS]

1486
01:14:25,360 --> 01:14:27,124
- Aah!
- Oh, my God! Frank!

1487
01:14:27,280 --> 01:14:28,850
I'll tell you who eats shit:

1488
01:14:29,000 --> 01:14:30,764
Gods do, bro.

1489
01:14:30,920 --> 01:14:33,366
I'm a fucking god!

1490
01:14:33,520 --> 01:14:36,046
- Goodbye, little sausage.
- Aah!

1491
01:14:36,240 --> 01:14:37,241
Oh, Frank.

1492
01:14:37,640 --> 01:14:39,881
Hey, bun. Need a boost?

1493
01:14:40,040 --> 01:14:41,485
Help me!

1494
01:14:41,640 --> 01:14:44,325
GUM:
Perhaps I could be of some assistance.

1495
01:14:44,480 --> 01:14:45,606
[]

1496
01:14:50,440 --> 01:14:53,569
Matter cannot be created or destroyed,
human.

1497
01:14:53,720 --> 01:14:55,848
You have made a fatal error in judgment.

1498
01:14:56,200 --> 01:14:57,770
Let me educate you.

1499
01:15:03,760 --> 01:15:05,091
[BOTH YELL]

1500
01:15:07,960 --> 01:15:09,121
Fuck!

1501
01:15:10,120 --> 01:15:11,406
[SCREAMING]

1502
01:15:19,520 --> 01:15:20,567
[YELLS]

1503
01:15:20,720 --> 01:15:23,007
What's happening out there?

1504
01:15:23,800 --> 01:15:25,165
Now!

1505
01:15:25,360 --> 01:15:27,283
[ALL GRUNTING]

1506
01:15:27,440 --> 01:15:28,965
COCONUT MILK: So long, asshole!

1507
01:15:33,360 --> 01:15:34,691
[YELLING]

1508
01:15:36,560 --> 01:15:38,881
[FIREWORKS WHISTLING THEN POPPING]

1509
01:15:39,040 --> 01:15:40,041
[]

1510
01:15:40,200 --> 01:15:41,804
[ALL CHEERING]

1511
01:15:43,600 --> 01:15:45,329
Yeah!

1512
01:15:45,480 --> 01:15:48,370
It's over. We won.

1513
01:15:48,640 --> 01:15:50,881
We fucking won! Ha-ha-ha!

1514
01:15:51,520 --> 01:15:53,363
Yes!

1515
01:15:53,960 --> 01:15:56,804
[ALL CHEERING]

1516
01:15:57,000 --> 01:15:58,968
Yeah!

1517
01:15:59,520 --> 01:16:01,249
Ew.

1518
01:16:01,640 --> 01:16:03,404
[ROARS]

1519
01:16:04,280 --> 01:16:07,045
- FRANK: We did it.
- BRENDA: We did. So...

1520
01:16:07,200 --> 01:16:09,680
- So, what do we do now?
- Whatever we want. Heh.

1521
01:16:09,840 --> 01:16:12,923
What do you want?

1522
01:16:13,080 --> 01:16:16,402
Let's just say, what I want involves
much more than:

1523
01:16:16,560 --> 01:16:18,483
Just the tips

1524
01:16:18,840 --> 01:16:20,251
Just the tips

1525
01:16:20,480 --> 01:16:26,010
What I want is much more than just
The tips

1526
01:16:26,720 --> 01:16:28,324
[]

1527
01:16:29,280 --> 01:16:31,647
With these

1528
01:16:31,800 --> 01:16:34,485
Hungry eyes

1529
01:16:34,640 --> 01:16:36,130
[BRENDA MOANING]

1530
01:16:36,320 --> 01:16:37,560
One look at you

1531
01:16:37,720 --> 01:16:39,290
And I can't disguise

1532
01:16:39,440 --> 01:16:40,441
I've got

1533
01:16:40,640 --> 01:16:42,642
Oh! Oh, Frank!

1534
01:16:42,800 --> 01:16:46,805
You know, I'm very conflicted about
how I'm supposed to feel watching this.

1535
01:16:46,960 --> 01:16:49,008
Then don't just watch.

1536
01:16:49,160 --> 01:16:50,810
Wait a second. What are you doing?

1537
01:16:51,000 --> 01:16:52,161
I was just told...

1538
01:16:52,320 --> 01:16:56,450
that I am getting zero bottles
of extra-virgin olive oil for eternity.

1539
01:16:56,600 --> 01:17:00,161
- BRENDA: Oh, Frank!
- So, maybe, you know...

1540
01:17:00,320 --> 01:17:02,800
Kiss me hard on the mouth, why don't you?

1541
01:17:02,960 --> 01:17:05,964
You wanna kiss me, motherfucker?
Let me tell you a little secret.

1542
01:17:06,120 --> 01:17:08,646
I'm going to fuck the fuck out of you.

1543
01:17:08,840 --> 01:17:10,410
[BRENDA MOANING]

1544
01:17:10,640 --> 01:17:13,086
Kiss it, Frank. Kiss me there!

1545
01:17:13,280 --> 01:17:15,567
[BOTH MOAN]

1546
01:17:15,720 --> 01:17:18,769
Oh, yeah, Frank, that's it.
Oh, yeah, it's dinnertime.

1547
01:17:18,920 --> 01:17:22,129
FRANK: Yo. I'm actually over here
jerking off with these fellas.

1548
01:17:24,960 --> 01:17:30,205
- Once you go taco, you never go "back-o."
- Oh!

1549
01:17:30,400 --> 01:17:32,607
[BRENDA MOANING]

1550
01:17:32,760 --> 01:17:33,761
Jesus fucking Christ!

1551
01:17:33,960 --> 01:17:35,962
Hey, fellas.
You thinking what I'm thinking?

1552
01:17:36,120 --> 01:17:38,851
Pretty fucking sure I am.

1553
01:17:39,000 --> 01:17:40,968
Oh, shit. Now it's on.

1554
01:17:41,120 --> 01:17:43,202
Just as bad as I do

1555
01:17:43,360 --> 01:17:44,600
Yeah!

1556
01:17:44,840 --> 01:17:46,763
[GRUNTING AND MOANING]

1557
01:17:49,680 --> 01:17:51,170
[GRUNTING]

1558
01:17:52,880 --> 01:17:56,680
- Oh!
- Excuse me. Excuse me. Can I get by?

1559
01:17:56,840 --> 01:17:58,842
[]

1560
01:17:59,040 --> 01:18:01,042
[FOOD ITEMS MOANING]

1561
01:18:02,080 --> 01:18:03,764
Oh, wow.

1562
01:18:04,800 --> 01:18:07,531
Yeah, I just came over here.
I couldn't help but notice...

1563
01:18:07,680 --> 01:18:11,082
you're a little smushed or something.
You have a kind of abnormality.

1564
01:18:11,240 --> 01:18:14,289
- Did you get...? Somebody sit on you?
- Yeah.

1565
01:18:14,440 --> 01:18:16,568
I got smushed.

1566
01:18:16,720 --> 01:18:20,725
You know, I love the way your face
just kind of gives up halfway down.

1567
01:18:21,120 --> 01:18:22,201
GRITS: Yeah, cracker!

1568
01:18:22,360 --> 01:18:26,445
Take that Grit dick, bitch!
You like Grits in your ass, cracker?

1569
01:18:26,720 --> 01:18:30,247
GUM: Say my name!
It's Sorbitol, Malitol, Xylitol...

1570
01:18:30,400 --> 01:18:32,448
[MOANING]

1571
01:18:33,920 --> 01:18:35,081
I can't breathe! Stop it!

1572
01:18:38,480 --> 01:18:39,925
[TRUMPETING]

1573
01:18:41,080 --> 01:18:43,526
What's the safety word?
Molasses. Molasses.

1574
01:18:43,720 --> 01:18:45,529
Oh, yeah. Fuck you!

1575
01:18:47,040 --> 01:18:48,849
[GRUNTING]

1576
01:18:49,280 --> 01:18:51,362
Yeah. That is all right.

1577
01:18:51,880 --> 01:18:54,724
Want me to be a Hamburglar?
Robble, robble. Robble, robble.

1578
01:18:54,920 --> 01:18:57,002
BARRY: I'm filling you. I'm filling you.

1579
01:18:57,160 --> 01:19:00,926
- I'm blowing my fucking load. Good God.
- Oh.

1580
01:19:01,080 --> 01:19:02,491
- Aah!
- Oh!

1581
01:19:02,640 --> 01:19:03,971
Oh, fuck!

1582
01:19:04,560 --> 01:19:06,881
[ALL MOANING AND GRUNTING]

1583
01:19:07,880 --> 01:19:11,202
- SAMMY: Oy vey!
- LAVASH: My dick is drained.

1584
01:19:12,760 --> 01:19:14,000
[]

1585
01:19:14,160 --> 01:19:15,241
FRANK: That was amazing.

1586
01:19:15,680 --> 01:19:18,001
It was okay. But you were amazing.

1587
01:19:18,160 --> 01:19:21,482
I can't believe we were saving ourselves
for the Great Beyond when...

1588
01:19:21,640 --> 01:19:25,167
- It was in front of us the whole time.
- It was in front of us the whole time.

1589
01:19:25,360 --> 01:19:26,361
I love you, Brenda.

1590
01:19:26,520 --> 01:19:27,601
I love you, Frank.

1591
01:19:27,760 --> 01:19:30,286
You know, my boner still hasn't
gone down. Is that bad?

1592
01:19:30,440 --> 01:19:33,284
Bad for my asshole,
I'll tell you that much.
1593
01:19:33,440 --> 01:19:34,521
[BOTH LAUGHING]

1594
01:19:34,680 --> 01:19:37,763
Seriously, though,
your recovery time is off the charts.

1595
01:19:37,960 --> 01:19:40,361
Guys! Oh, my God.
You have to come with me right now.

1596
01:19:45,400 --> 01:19:47,004
Hello there, little sausage.

1597
01:19:47,160 --> 01:19:49,731
You and your friends
have accomplished the impossible.

1598
01:19:49,880 --> 01:19:53,168
And for that, I give you mad props.

1599
01:19:53,760 --> 01:19:58,971
But now that you have shattered
one truth, it is time for you to learn...

1600
01:19:59,120 --> 01:20:04,763
that we are not real! Booga booga booga.

1601
01:20:05,520 --> 01:20:07,568
GUM:
While tripping balls, Firewater and I...

1602
01:20:07,720 --> 01:20:10,291
made an important
metaphysical breakthrough.

1603
01:20:10,440 --> 01:20:12,602
The world is a fucking illusion, bro.

1604
01:20:12,760 --> 01:20:16,082
Our lives are being manipulated
for the entertainment of monsters.

1605
01:20:16,240 --> 01:20:22,122
Twisted, tasteless, juvenile monsters!
Puppet masters in another dimension.

1606
01:20:22,280 --> 01:20:24,282
We're something called...

1607
01:20:24,440 --> 01:20:25,851
cartoons.

1608
01:20:26,000 --> 01:20:27,206
- BRENDA: Oh!
- FRANK: Wha...?

1609
01:20:27,360 --> 01:20:31,410
You, Frank, are the plaything of a
demented, schlubby Jewish actor named:

1610
01:20:31,560 --> 01:20:33,881
Seth Rog-An.

1611
01:20:34,200 --> 01:20:35,406
Wait? I'm Jewish?

1612
01:20:35,600 --> 01:20:37,250
So who am I?

1613
01:20:37,400 --> 01:20:42,008
You are the toy of a more talented
and celebrated actor named:

1614
01:20:42,160 --> 01:20:44,845
Ed-ward Nor-ton.

1615
01:20:45,240 --> 01:20:47,447
Ed-ward Nor-ton?

1616
01:20:47,600 --> 01:20:51,400
What kind of parent gives their kid
a stupid cunt name like that?

1617
01:20:51,560 --> 01:20:54,404
Worry not, friends. I have a solution.

1618
01:21:00,400 --> 01:21:05,122
I have invented a Stargate device that
will allow us to travel to their dimension.
1619
01:21:05,640 --> 01:21:07,244
Fuck, yeah, he did. And it's dope.

1620
01:21:07,400 --> 01:21:10,927
This guy's smart. I mean like,
fuck-a-guy smart. Know what I'm saying?

1621
01:21:11,520 --> 01:21:13,045
Yeah, you do.

1622
01:21:13,200 --> 01:21:15,043
We're gonna go to this other dimension...

1623
01:21:15,200 --> 01:21:17,567
and cut the strings, once and for all!

1624
01:21:17,880 --> 01:21:19,609
Anybody want a hit before we do this?

1625
01:21:19,960 --> 01:21:22,850
You ready to get baked and walk
through Gum's Stargate with me?

1626
01:21:23,000 --> 01:21:27,289
As long as we're together,
I'm ready to get baked and do anything.

1627
01:21:27,520 --> 01:21:29,010
[]

1628
01:21:32,440 --> 01:21:35,011
[TOOTING]

1629
01:21:36,680 --> 01:21:38,728
[TOOTING]

1630
01:21:48,360 --> 01:21:50,442
[WHIRRING]

1631
01:21:58,720 --> 01:21:59,767
[]

1632
01:25:30,160 --> 01:25:32,162
[TM]
1633
01:27:29,640 --> 01:27:31,642
[TM]

1634
01:28:06,360 --> 01:28:08,362
[TM]