Niece------muzukuru

Cousin-----muzukuru

A nephew is a son of a person's sibling, and a niece is a daughter of a person's sibling. Conversely,
that person is the aunt or uncle of their niece or nephew.

Maternal cousins of a girl

English Shona
Daughter of mothers sister, if older mukoma - older sister
Daughter of mothers sister, if younger munun'una or munin'ina - younger sister
Son of mothers sister hanzvadzi - brother
Son of mothers brother sekuru - uncle
Daughter of mothers brother mainini or amainini - young mother

Maternal cousins of a boy

English Shona
Son of mothers sister, if older mukoma - old brother
Son of mothers sister, if younger munun'una or munin'ina - young brother
Daughter of mothers sister hanzvadzi - sister
Son of mothers brother sekuru - uncle
Daughter of mothers brother mainini or amainini - young mother

Paternal cousins of a girl

English Shona
Daughter of fathers brother, if younger mukoma - old sister
Daughter of fathers brother, if older munun'una or munin'ina - young sister
Sons of fathers brother hanzvadzi - brother
Son of fathers sister mwana - son
Daughter of fathers sister mwana - daughter

Paternal cousins of a boy

English Shona
Son of fathers brother, if older mukoma - older brother
Son of fathers brother, if younger munun'una or mun'inina - younger
brother
Daughter of fathers brother hanzvadzi - sister
Son of fathers sister muzukuru - nephew

1. Father 1. Baba
2. Mother 2. Amai
3. Grandfather 3. Sekuru
4. Grandmother 4. Ambuya/Gogo
5. Uncle (fathers older brother) 5. Babamukuru
6. Uncle (fathers younger brother) 6. Babamunini/Babamud
7. Uncle (mothers brother) 7. Sekuru
8. Aunt (fathers sister) 8. Tete
9. Aunt (mothers older sister) 9. Amaiguru
10. Aunt (mothers younger sister) 10. Amainini
11. Mother in-law 11. Ambuya/Amai
12. Father-in-law 12. Tezvara/Baba
13. Brother (older) 13. Mukoma/Bhudhi
14. Sister (older) 14. Sisi
15. Brother or sister (younger) 15. Muninina/Mupfanha
16. Husband/man 16. Murume
17. Wife/woman 17. Mukadzi
18. Baby 18. Mwana
19. Daughter 19. Mukunda
20. Son 20. Mwanakomana
21. Girl 21. Musikana
22. Boy 22. Mukomana

Chiramu is a custom that allows brothers in-law and uncles to play the role of husband
in a young girls life under the guise of teaching the young girl how to handle proposals
from boys.
According to the Shona culture, my mothers brothers are considered my husbands,
but they can also stand in as my mothers.Their children are considered my husbands
too. I can be their mother since their father is my husband. I know its confusing but try
to keep up. All these relations are based on roles assumed through cultural beliefs. In
the event that I were to even marry or date, my little sister would take my husband or
boyfriend as her own. Some little sisters act coy for the in-law and ask for material
things, it is all part of the play acting.
This is what local artist, Winky D brings out in his song Chiramu where his wifes
younger sister makes advances towards him in the name of chiramu and goes as far
as dressing to seduce him when the wife goes away on a trip. In the beginning, he is
complaining about such an arrangement but then he ends up playing along until they
are both caught red handed in a compromising position when the wife walks in to collect
her forgotten passport.The rest of the song is predictable.

Scene from Winky Ds video for the song Chiramu Image taken from
www.youtube.com

Now this is a perfect example of Chiramu gone terribly wrong but the younger sister in
the song is accused of taking it too far, or did she? Chiramu is a practice that puts
women in vulnerable positions as it was in my experience. Younger sisters or nieces are
expected to play the role of wife to their brother in laws and uncles and take on
traditionally assigned duties in another case of blatant patriarchal expectations of
women and girls.

Trapped in cultural practice

I once visited my aunt (fathers sister), whose husband was again considered my
husband in our culture. I was in my twenties, with my voice still lying somewhere in the
dark places of my childhood. Yes, even at 20 I was still a reserved person. My aunt
would insist on my serving him as expected. I was asked to fetch anything he asked for.
I would be called to assist him with washing his hands before meals. I would have a
kitchen towel draped over my arm to dry his hands. It had to be perfect. I would then
open his coke or pour a glass of water for him before I could sit down to eat my own
food. His children were not called on to partake in this ritual. oddly enough, I have no
memory of his wife doing this in my presence.
In my eyes that were still innocent to the ways of the world, I looked at this scene from a
place inside of myself and I loathed it. Something about the way I was expected to call
him daddy and the way his eyes would look into mine sickened me. I refused to accept
this as normal. To me it was not right.
At times, I would think I was being oversensitive, something I have often been accused
of. I looked at the motivation behind the practice and everything seemed malicious. All I
knew was, I was a young woman who had no idea how to act around men because I
had grown up without a father.

Tradition gone wrong

My suspicions were confirmed one morning when I was in the kitchen doing dishes. My
uncle walked in and came straight at me while I quickly muttered a quiet good morning.
This wasnt enough for him though. He came and stood right behind me and whispered
in my ear that I should say, Good morning, DADDY. I remember him standing close,
too close muffled footsteps on the hallway carpet put an abrupt end to this scene.
For the life of me, I cannot remember my unwitting saviour but I remember how cold I
suddenly felt even though my cheeks were hot with shame. I had a hundred questions
running through my head.
What just happened? My God, did he just do that? Should this be normal or
acceptable?
I couldnt even cry.
This is so true. I am 16 and I experienced this back in Zimbabwe when the elders would joking
say to my uncle who was getting married, Now that you are getting married, you are leaving
you wife. or my aunts in Zimbabwe say, Now that you live in America, will you remember how
to take care of your husbands (meaning my uncles, their own husbands.) It is so frustrating to
see this happen in this day and age because women are not property that can be inherited or
passed down to the next man who needs this desires fulfilled. We are not a side piece that
replaces the wife who just died. How long is it going to take for some of these traditions that
clearly are out to make women inferior and men superior to disappear? Some traditions that we
continue to celebrate and practice were used back when women were property and thought to
be less than men. Its time we put a stop to traditions that do nothing but fulfill the mens wishes
whilst putting women down and disregarding all the work that has been done to uplift women.

Image taken from www.un.org

My hands continued soaping the breakfast bowls mechanically. Later on the same day,
I was asked to go stay with my cousin, surprisingly. I then assumed it was my aunt who
had walked in earlier and summed up the situation. She never said a word about it but
in her eyes I was a threat not the threatened so I had to go.
My uncle is late now. A few days ago was the anniversary of his death and my mother
was reminiscing about him saying he was very fond of her. All I could do was grit my
teeth. I have never told her what happened. I probably never will.
I am 32 now and I still remember the word daddy as a title that was used to put me in
an uncomfortable position. When someone asks, Whos your daddy? I still have to
stop myself from flinching. I do not understand how this practice was meant to bring
the extended family unit closer because I think it traps the vulnerable who in this case
are women and girls. I have even heard of aunts who sacrifice their nieces on the
altars of their husbands lust when their marriages falter. Older sisters too.
Our culture upholds expectations that society has of married women such that if they fail
to live up to that, their younger sisters or nieces are expected to chip in. But abuse is
abuse, not even chiramu can sugar coat it.
It is so important to outline abuse in a vivid way even if it means speaking against
cultural practices that have been with us for centuries. Many girls have been socialised
to think that chiramu is normal and expected of them. I am not sure if actual physical
contact was ever intended but the idea alone still compromises the rights of women and
girls involved. As we continue to call for gender parity, I would love to see some of these
cultural practices shift to respect and recognise our worth. Culture should not constantly
put us in situations where we are at the mercy of men who take any advantage to
quench their desires.

Shona Lobola Procedures

Posted on September 30, 2016 by MaKupsy

Roora (Lobola/Dowry)
A man marrying a woman from the Shona culture has to observe the roora. This is a sign or show of
love and affection when a man saves up and marries his beloved. There are many ways this can be
done but I will dwell on the general procedures followed on the following condition The man has
done all the other necessities e.g. proposing (not musengabere, kutizisa), formal Introductions
(dated for over 6 months) and more importantly girl is not pregnant (damage) or previously been
married (virgin?). In Zimbabwe, roora takes place in a number of stages and each stage has its own
traditions and small amounts to pay. The process can differ from place to place due to the fact that in
the Shona culture there are 12 different ethnic groups.

Stage One Introduction

This stage involves the munyayi who is a go-between when a man goes to pay the bride price at his
future wifes family stating to the family his intentions and purpose of visit e.g. I have been sent by
(the husband) to look for Sadza , literally translated to I have come to marry your daughter (name).
Here they are asked who they mean. Once this is done the brides family will ask the daughter if she
knows the people who have come to marry her.

Stage two Grocery

A list is given to the groom prior the ceremony, this will be a list of groceries required to bring to the
family. The items are then checked and should match that on the original list for example, if its 5kg
of sugar he should bring exactly that and not less. Adhering to the stated requirements of the new in-
laws is a show of respect from the new son-in-law. It is often advisable to do exactly as stated or
better, to ensure smooth relations between the newly united families. Some families are more tolerant
than others; A LOT of tolerance is needed as this is not a money making ceremony.

Stage Three Preparations for

payment
At this stage the brides family will ask for ndiro normally a wooden plate from the munyayi and if
he has brought one he would present it. This (the plate); in the past used to be provided by the brides
family but since some people began charging for them some go with their own wooden plates. Once
the plate has been placed a process known as sunungura homwe (loosening pockets)
or Vhuramuromomo (meaning opening of mouth) where a small fee is paid to for the greeting of
the guests. At this stage some fines may be imposed. For instance if the groom failed to meet an
earlier date even if he notified the brides family well in advance and any other misdemeanours he
might have done, These however should done with humour and laughter just to make the munyayi
feel at home and comfortable.

Stage FourPayments
The process of Roora negotiations can be long and complex, and involves many members from both
the brides and the grooms extended families so these days due to our busy nature in some parts it
being shortened and made less complex. The payment stage has quite a many stages which can even
take days to complete. These are now grouped in two main sub processes which are:-

1. Zvireverere zvaBaba (Gifts for the father)

This stage involves payment that are direct from the brides father (a guardian or representative can
accept charge for these if the paternal father is deceased or not known) which in the old days had a
lot of very long sub-processes and has been shortened. The main payment is the
Matekenyandebvu to acknowledge him for the pulling of the beard as she sat on his knee, or
putting up with the playful antics of his daughter as a child. The amount paid for the father is
negotiable.

2. Zvireverere zvaMai (Gifts for the mother)

Same as the process above the payment are strictly for the brides mother (a guardian or
representative can accept charge for these if the maternal father is deceased or not known).

The gifts for the mother of the bride in the old days included things like mbereko, for carrying the
bride in a pouch or sling when she was a baby, and mafukidzadumbu for covering of the belly;
this is alternately translated as carrying the baby in the womb or tucking the baby in with a
blanket (when she wakes in the night). These are now charged under this blanket term due to the
complexity of the past processes as well as the fact that people may have even forgotten exactly the
names of the processes. The amount paid for the mother is non-negotiable.

Stage Five Mbudzi yedare

(yemachinda) Goat
This is a live goat that is brought by the man and is slaughtered during the payment process. The
whole goat is then cooked and made ready to be served after the completion of the ceremony. If they
dont bring a goat a payment will be asked for and this money is shared equally between all the boys
available at the household (usually can cause a lot of commotion if the amount is not even).

Stage Six Musikana/Tete (Gifts for

the bride)
The woman being married is required to pick some money from the plate for herserlf. This money in
some places can be set by the aunt or the womans sister. This is a small allowance for Mari
inonhongwa nemusihare for the purchase of household or cooking utensils, and this amount is given
to the bride. If there are younger sisters or siblings, she may give them a portion of the money. This
money is for all the cooking that would have taken place for the party which the groom will finance
after the ceremony is concluded. Usually this money can be returned by the woman to her future
husband to cover the other payment that would follow.

Stage Seven Rusambo (Roora,

Dowry)
This is the most important stage called Rusambo and although the above process is referred to or
called roora, this is the name given to the whole ceremony and all of the gifts, not just the bride
price or dowry. Paying Roora is called kubvisa pfuma, giving (or parting with) wealth. Roora is
wealth and its quantum must be consistent with wealth. This stage can only be reached if the stages
mentioned above have been fulfilled. The bride price varies and nowadays factors in things like the
social class of both the groom and the bride. This however can be paid as a part payment as long as
some form of payment is made. For illustration purposes maybe the above processes may have cost
the groom $1400 and he had only brought $2000 it is accepted for him to pay $600.00 and then the
rest will follow for the next twenty years. If the groom fails to come up with any part payment then
the whole process becomes null and void and will have to be started again at a later date and he will
not be give his bride.

Stage eight Danga (Livestock)

This stage traditionally is a gift of cattle and nowadays it is most commonly paid in cash, although
the amounts will still be representative of fair market price for cattle. Normally the number is
between seven to eight cows and in those the most important one is the one for the mother known as
mombe yeumai. This should always be a live cow that the groom gives to the mother in law. The
cow is expected to produce an offspring as proof that the union has been blessed, also our belief the
most powerful ancestors that protect us are the maternal ones. Mudzimu wamai ukadambura
mbereko (if maternal spirits let go) spells disaster. To keep these spirits happy and attentive there is
need to follow the mombe yeumai protocol to the letter. To to give mombe yeumai is to
acknowledge this spiritual symbolism. Once the offspring is weaned it is then expected that the cow
can be slaughtered by the brides family and eaten by both families just as thanks giving and
strengthening both the couples relationship as well as the family as a whole. This will take place
after two to five years. This stage is dependent on the Rusambo stage and if Rusambo is not available
then they cannot proceed to this current stage. In old times pfuma/roora consisted of cattle,
mapadza (symbolic iron hoes) and machira (imported cloth) as indicative of a rich agricultural
community.

Stage Nine Majasi (Clothes)

This stage also dependent on the Rusambo stage. It is the gift of clothes that the groom is expected
to buy for his in-laws. As stated after Rusambo has been paid and the brides family are happy the
groom and his party will then be invited and welcomed into the family Kupinzwa mumusha, the
groom will then greet the in-laws as a new groom (no longer a prospective groom or stranger, but a
member of the family) with the special traditional clapping greeting Gusvi and is permitted to be a
part of the household. At this stage he will be given a list of items of clothing that both the mother
and father require normally full attire from top to bottom.
N.B Lobola Groceries vary from family to family but the standard grocery list is: